2024-09-18T16:42:58

Hi Rebecca I was just wondering if you were in the market for a girly man to take care of certain things for you?

Kind of allllllll the things but I'm open to potential offers

If you have any openings you can spare, please feel free to grab me!

At least one lol

Think you've seen it

2024-09-18T18:48:37

I might be alone for a few hours. House is filthy but maybe youd want to hop over

Whooooo
........

The mind does wander

Especially in filthy areas

I'll vacuum, lol

Carpet burn doeant bother me

M'lady is very keen

Do you share a bed with the hub?

I do, but more and more rarely

And nothing happens anyway

Any reason you ask.

Well, it's nice to have clean carpet. But why not a bed?

It's just messier up there

Indeed. Killer idea, M'lady

I mean I do have to go shopping sometimes. For sustenance.

I have food here

Bbbbbbran flakes?

 ​🇭🇺​ to “ I have food here  ” 

2024-09-18T20:51:04

Wanna kmow something that explains a bit of naivete?

*Of mine

And, um, defffffff not asmr lol

I would love to know!

This is me for the last two hours

https://open.spotify.com/track/4KMQBVinudkFb3VBkg9Kef?si=OkDnqSs7Qo-8OUawc9WuoA

Oh look it's your happy birthday song! How poetic

In my district, basic sex ed ia 5th grade. I was living in France. 7th grade health is basically phase 2 of sex ed and my parents waivered me out of that unit. 10th grade health is the last installment and i tested out of that class.... since you can't mandate sex ed teaching, it couldnt be on the testing out test

I never had sex ed in school. There's a little more that branches off from there, but that probably explains a decent chunk

My poor baby!

It sure doesn't make sense to me. Then again I had sex ed in 6th grade and maybe some other time, and frankly learned more from books at home. And no, my parents had nothing resembling porn ever. Not that kind of people lol

Mine obv didnt want me learning anything

I might have connected some dots

How do you feel about ASMR? I really enjoyed exploring it when I learned it had a name, but the field has gone rather bizarre

And i never got " the talk" but that's a little bit of a different story

No real opinion on asmr

Fair

Never explored it at all

I first heard about it on This American Life and it took me a while to realize they were talking about something I knew from long ago. It was a really peculiar feeling, both remembering that feeling, and hear other people talk about it. It is a very interesting phenom

How is your evening?

Weird

Yours?

Been cookin

Fine

Cookin figuratively or literally?

Lol! Literally

What?

Pommes de terres frites; galette de faux poulet; courge jaune au sirop d'érable

Oh la la! Merveilleux!

Merci

Quelle sort de poulet faux?

Je pense "impossible"

c'est très cher

c'est surfait

Do you know Poliça?

Aimez-vous su bowuf impossible?

*du boeuf

Oui

Mais non, je ne le connais

Strong woman up front. Can be very intense. Try this one if you like something intense an strong female mama bear vibe


https://open.spotify.com/track/0YTVbVXyL33n1A3bNSUAYh?si=VeCWpf4aT5GpwtBbxPe3hA

I'll have to rain check that, so thanks!

Sure thing :)

Like i said, romight has been weird. Kind of suddenly feeling weirdly unwell and with an aura migraine, but i dont get auras with mine

And ive been humming for a while

Plus all of a sudden i HAD to lay down and then it was like a half hour later

Oh wow

Does thinking pleasant thoughts help at all? I can tone it down

This is a purely physical thing. I think. Just no idea what happened. Did get hypoglycemic earlier but that was a quick fix. Still no fever. And i ate.

I do like pleasant thoughts though

I sure did like holding you. I wish I could wrap around you now

null

Awww

What about Monday evening?

Would you need a ride home that day? I know a nice one.

Home from...?

Midnight train going anywhere?

Lol

I will be alone for a while monday evening

Need a tech assistance service call? I'm really good with under the desk stuff.

Maybe I should just move in next door.

Lots of houses for sale up in here

2024-09-19T07:12:41

Good morning!

Back atcha!

The word of the day is approbation!

You have mine :)

Yay!

How are you?

Im sure you'd rather be hurkledurkling today

That's my vocab for you lol

Aye lassie, but I'm feeling strong today

Oh are we?

Well, perky anyway

How come?

Idk. Woke up on the right side of the bed? Woke up with a yearning in my loins. Thinking happy thoughts

Still yearning, eh?

Desirin

Why, whatEVER could you mean??

Sometimes my body wakes me up at 5:00 just to tell me it's happy

I was up then today :)

After my bike accident I was often up and doing things at 3:30 in the morning. I changed the electrical sockets in my office before work one day. It was really weird.

That's how i operate, lol

I like thw feeling of owning the world and being productive and accomplished before anyone else can even blink

Vous faites quoi aujourd'hui?

Je travaille tout le monde et tout la nuit

??

Lol that is the correct response

I'm working on a profit sharing timeline. Important dates next month

Blackout is NOT helpful

No kidding

My job is loss sensitive billing. Their last claims i was able to invoice were only until May 31. They do not like me much now. Some of these insureds incur close to $500k in losses alone in one month so at least 3 in a row billed in one fell swoop will not be taken well. Plus it'll mess withe their held collateral and blahblahblah. And there are 34 policies i havent been able to input yet, not even to collect their policy deposits. So we're just throwing free coverage everywhere i guess

I hope the BD folk have been setting expectations for those clients

Hahahahahahahahaaaaaa

Youre so cute

Where do you work when you're chez vous?

How do you isolate, or do you?

When you have a moment, i have a feeling or 2 to express. I may have already told you one but idk. I think they're nice but they're easily perceived as weird or maybe even sad

I have a room I can call my own. It's my office, hobby room, etc.

What's on your mind?

Did i explain why i was so sleepy post-activities? You're basically a first for that too. Ive never literally slept with/next to someone except that person i married, and that was after we moved in together

My room, btw, is a croffice (craft room + office)

Haha, nice

That's basically what my room is too.

You didn't exactly explain--you were pretty sleepy lol. I picked up that you were pretty wiped out by the workout.

Maybe but not where i was going with that

To girlsplain it, when someone is hyperaware and fight-flighting for a very long time, once they finally feel safe or like they can actually relax, there's no way to combat the tired that comes over them

That totally makes sense

I'm really glad I was able to hold you for a good long time.

Me too

I feel yucky today and would love for you to just cuddle me under big puffy blankets

That sounds so good. Sorry you are feeling yuck though.

((Hugs))

Thanks. Back at you

If the unkverse were to create, procure, or provide something for you, what would it be? Short lists are fine too. Anything at all, no limitations except that it be something for you

This is a tough one for me.

I have many material things that I desire. The things I want but don't have are just expensive, but they're not precious, and I wouldn't ask for those.

The things I want but are not mine to ask for are the deeds of others

Okay. Then i open the floor to all of that

I want to know :)

Bring us all the humility and patience to resolve our differences with civility. Bring us all the empathy to help our neighbors who may be less fortunate. Bring us the strength and power to build great societies where we can coexist in peace. Such are my wishes.

Valiant

But they were supposed to be selfish wants

Are you okay today?

Yeah I'm ok. Does my wish list make me sound down?

Weighted, maybe

You seem out of character

I'm fine, really. I've learned not to expect much from the world, and I'm mostly at peace with that.

I dont believe you but i also dont force people to ralk or do anything else when they arent ready or dont want to

It's ok. Ask me anything. I really am a terrible liar.

Gotta run a meeting in a minute FYI

What happened today to catalyst your jovial downturn?

But I'm not, honest!

I think the word we're looking for is "acceptance". Or perhaps "pensive".

But whyyyyyyyyyy

😝

Did you finally fall from the high? I bet that's it

Ok Morrissey

Guess i have to look that up now

Haha the only thing I've fallen into is a desire to get you back in my bed

Fuckkkkk

Quite the biology sesh

When do you think you might take another day off? Maybe I could drop by and help you with something for a few hours

Ah, you seem to have forgotten a key fact

Dammit

Know what that fact is?

There's another boy in the house

Correct

Well kind of 3 if you count the boy cats

So then there are a few other ways for me to help you help me

Help me help you help you help me then

Youre welcome to drop by monday evening but it could only be for like 2 hours

Fix the work stuff so im back to my normal schedule and i have at least 2 days home all day alone

I am praying the work stuff will be back to normal in a month or two

It's well nigh impossible for me to get out in evenings

Nyquilcoladas?

Would be like 5ish i think

Naughty!

I think you misspelled "tasty" and "brilliant"

Ooooo yummmmm

I'd still like you to inebriate me with more than just your own intoxicants

Here's one for you. I quit smoking cigarettes almost two years ago. I started smoking weed not much later. I quickly realized how it makes me feel slutty. I tried, in various ways, to draw her attention, the charms, the undies, etc. little was working. One day I had the perfect timing to answer a question--what did I want to do? "Get high and fuck!" I never talk that way.

Nothing happened that weekend. Nothing.

🤷

I'm so sorry for that

That's been what i wanted to say to you.... way too many times

This is a good example why I ask for little from the universe and expect less. And why I can be happy in my head. And why when the universe does me a solid from time to time, it feels really special.

Well, what i said is very true

I believe what you tell me

😊

 ​❤️​ to “ 😊 ” 

Next time I see you hopefully you will feel more relaxed. I do have to say though you were cute asf when you drew me into you. I was trying to be deferential, and you were like "get over here" lol

2024-09-19T18:13:30

I've prepared a version of this obscene salad thing I make a lot these days:
Green olives with pimento
Hot jalapeno rings
Feta
Veggie dogs

Oh yeah, with a chopped dill pickle or two!

I would most definitely not eat that, but i hope you like it!

And i kind of wanted what i wanted lol

All good

Did you get what you wanted?

Lofuckingl I did a thing

I am sorry

Why are you sorry? I havent clicked it yet

Lol true

How do you feel about these cats?

https://open.spotify.com/track/5Lr0c5OIPM53M5JQUwyxL5?si=fKeQjxXeRbGcfhoQB7AXKQ

Sounds like you lol

Which one ?

Did you find my Reddit alt yeah or nay?

Didn't look actually

And not ignoring you - just out and about. Ish

 ​👍​ to “ And not ignoring you - just out and about. Ish  ” 

Also, at what point would you call in if you were just going to wfh but had a fever?

Serious fever, night before if possible
Jiffy flu,7am

Big illnesses are rare for me tho, 1x/year

But what can I do
Just a duck
Not suck
Not duck

Oh dahling I'm so miserable now

Will you please just throw my black cape over me and pronounce me dead

Well we certainly do wish to thank you all for joining us this evening for another airing of smartin does Lansing

This evening, "Stroking my fat pussy"

If you've seen the clip you already know this is indeed one sumptuous treat

Smooth, sleek, and slippery, this boi hits all angles

Smith

(uhh Smith? Wtf)

Omgggggg

Pop quiz time here on smartin

Do you know what happens when you leave a fish too long in an elevator?

I do not??

Well here's a clue!

https://open.spotify.com/track/3xtyDNOs8bcmEGqFwyU6h2?si=0Rw1Xug9SZimqHls5xXUrQ

Ff to 3:23 if you need to!

Did you say you draw?

There is a person in her family. Sorry. Was. Named Caroline Wheeler. It was kinda weird. It's a small, rural Arkansas community. Her mum still lives there. Her is a gem. Hard to describe.

Dude

I CAN PRONOUN

Proud of you!

I'll get to these, really, in a car next to spouse atm

Heheheh

Naughty baby

Have a SIL in back too

Unhappy baby at best

But anyway

null

Will thank you all for calling in we really love your comments

I'm sure you all noticed that Mr Dad is, indeed, a porpoise.

We celebrate our beloved in the ocean this evening. After all, how many of us are comfortable being dropped off in the middle of nowhere, South Pacific?

https://open.spotify.com/track/1MH7NsUhBuKc51rreTD95g?si=ox8UWKYAS7mx3Z17zCfILQ

A courtesy PSA this evening

A listener has lost their package containing a cell phone case. Should anyone recover it please call the station thank you so much

How much have you had?

Lol I did misread your previous message

Thought you requested more

😁

Wishing you safe passage m'Lady

I got called "lush" by a girl on OF. what is it?

I am chatting with a dude named Andrew lol

null

Please be a sweet boi

Andrew I am counting on you

What should I tell him?

Such a sweet boi

He is the best

 ​❤️​ to a photo 

2024-09-19T23:22:41

Hey?

2024-09-20T06:39:17

Hey :)

How are you?

Lil sleepy but ok

What's wrong?

Why just ok?

I'm just not all work up yet that's all

*woke

*woken

L9l

Oops lol

I had a dream I found a picture of us lying together naked

Oh did you?

Yes, on my phone, as though I had taken it

Pardon the interruption - did you check? Do you actually have one?

No, I don't

Okay. We can recommence :)

Which earrings to i wear today?

You were happy at this photo, yes?

I was happy, yes. It was a shot from above, as though from a light fixture. You looked very pretty.

What kinda earrings do you have? Spiders? Hoops!

Nevvvvvvvvver hoops

Got it
Gem stones or no?

Bonses?

Apparently i have zero falloween earringa except for some leaves

I settled for lotuses

When i get my garbage pile of a room clean, I'll show you my variety

I have a potentially vain-sounding question, though it's also a genuine inquiry

Aww! Ok!

Why do you keep thinking and saying nice things? Like that your sweet girl here is pretty

It's just who I am sweet cheeks

Do you actually believe it or just think it's what i want to hear?

I'm just being me!

Truth be known my chest feels really tight this morning. Feels like a rib out of place. Taking NSAIDS now

But yes that mental image of us on the bed, your porcelain skin, it made me happy. I was like "oh there it is!" As though I had taken it myself. And in that goofy dream would it all made sense

No es bueno!

Why the chest pain? Want some benzodiazepine?

Lol night night time for me

It's already loosening up. I do mischief to my musculoskeletal system when I sleep

Same! Or by, you know, just existing

I'll take chest pain over wheezing though

Why do you say that?

Muscle pain can be managed. Wheezing is not only more difficult, but I harbor some trauma with it. My childhood allergies were really bad and I spent a lot of time not being able to breathe. We didn't have Albuterol back then, only pseudoephedrine pills and hospital trips for epi

I recall this about your childhood

I dont know which i would choose since i have both

What would you say your favorite creative activity is?

My process for digitizing records usually includes a step where I tweak the sound to make it just right (to my ears). That is one of my favorite things because I have to listen very closely. I become very intimately familiar with some music in this way

Cool

Favorite TV shows and movies?

Idk I watch very little TV. Like I have not watched anything this year, except a couple showings of vintage movies. I'm being very literal here

I never said anything about them being current, silly boy

I'm just saying, I've literally watched zero shows and two movies ytd

Very similar here. Doesnt mean i don't have some favorites

null

Lovely! Is that a sharpie?

Are we misappropriating office supplies again?

Lol is my own personal highlighter

I want a little bone to put in there so I can do like pebbles

Then you alsp need to center in atop your head better lol

Fun fact: i can't see yellow highlighter

Whoa!

Not great but yeah

I also cant see red font easily

Or a lot of lighter ones

2024-09-20T12:03:39

How's yiur friday going?

Pretty good! I just had my last meeting of the week 😊

Yay! 🎉

How is life in the phone mines?

It's fine. My stuff kept messing up, so i told kirby again today since everyone was habing phone issues yesterday and it wasnt that important. Some back and forth about what i had vs what i need, so i shared my screen to say "hey, i do. Not. Have. Webex." And he was like "no calls yet!?!?" And long story short it is somehow my fault that ny new laptop did not and does not have the phone app i need. So havent had a call. Sad, lol

He should have known that. They've said 50,000 times only Microsoft 365 apps will be on the laptops initially, all other software will be "as approved" and "when we can get to it"

Yes. I did not feel the need or want to argue, so i didnt. Iiiiiiiii read all my emails and iiiiiiii know the rules lol

But i guess everyone else had theirs already so idk

Huh

He also seemed overly alarmed that i hadnt been answering calls

Christopher, my dude. YOU have access to all the call logs, all the time. YOU knew i only actively worked this week starting yesterday. Whatever.

A little disheartening that no one sees how little i care about doing a good job, but again, not my problem

My duuuuude Chris Topher

Exactly!

Not a ton. I've made some T-shirts with spray paint and stencils, and sprayed the odd item

Okay Mr WannaBeAPhysicist, then -would I be okay spraying clean & dry objects this weekend if it's hot/humid?

Hmmm. I think it will be not ideal but still workable. Avoid direct sun and allow extra drying time. Be sure not to apply too heavily.

Hmm, okay

Not an absolute necessity to do it, sometimes when i get motivation to do things i have to do it RIGHT THEN

Lol yeah I can definitely relate

What are you up to now? Daydreaming of coworkers lying naked next to you?

Well thanks to that comment, yes!

NOPE

Id much rather be under you

I just got some new boobs from Amazon!

Ohh?

 ​🥰​ to “ Id much rather be under you ” 

Slightly bigger than the other fake ones I have. And these came with a surprise--pasties lol


Actually I think they're just nipple covers to prevent chaffing. I don't think I will have that problem

You do have nipples.... we all start out as the same basic zygote

So does that mean you won't be throwing me down to look at the gasp of desire you pulled from me?

The heck I won't

Mmmmmmmkay

Besides, you still have to show me your sword trick

Gladly

You still have to get me high

So much to do lol

OMG I'm all tingly now

Dammit

Maybe you should go take care of that, lol

Sure, like hey boss I'm just going to be comatose for the rest of the day ok?

You're "available"

Gotta love teams lol

For sure

Available for get high & fuck sesh

Yes please

I only work for like an hour and change more today

 ​❤️​ to “ I only work for like an hour and change more today ” 

2024-09-20T16:12:51

Welcome to your weekend babe!

3 minutes early but thanks! You too

What are your many plans?

I thought of something semi-cool for you to google

Assuming I can get out of the grocery store alive lol...

Fucking whack jobs everywhere

It's a friday and you live in lansing. That's unlikely lol

See ahove

Lol

How do you think i feel about shouting in general?

Not a fan. Jesus people are weird.

Indeed

Whew glad that's over!

What'd you get me? ;)

Some nice cruelty free sausage

Idk if you can swallow it tho

Cant tell til it's ready

That's the spirit!

What are you doing with all your freedom?

Waiting for the muse to inspire me

Ever fucked in a tent?

Inspire you to what?

And almost, but no. You?

Inspire me to be inspired lol

Yes. Rather difficult on air mattress

I need another play date!

Okay!

Didn't The 1975 do something recently that grabbed media attention for a hot minute?

More than one, yes

Were they political/social statements?

Are you referring to their Malaysia show?

Oh wait that was it I think? Human rights issue?

Hard to say.... one sex

https://variety.com/2023/music/news/matty-healy-the-1975-speech-malaysia-kiss-imprisoned-liberal-outrage-1235750730/

That's it. Thanks for the ref!

I did not grok the full story before. Props to these guys

I lovvvvvvvvvvve Matty

I can see why!

😊

I found something

What is it?

My inspiration
Goal for the weekend is craft a thing in wood

I started already, sanding 11 pieces and cleaning well with alcohol

Love it! Do you know what it will be?

I have a cunning plan!

I must know!

null

null

She's a little relaxed

Kitteh go burr

Having fun?

Catching up on some YT channels rn.

How are you?

I'm entering maid mode. Kitchen needs help and hot food production lol

Im in the same factory setting! Gettibg lots accomplished so maybe i can be a touch more sane

What are you doing tomorrow?

Inebriated yet?

If someone asked you about me and reading and books, what would you tell them?

Maybe I'll tell them I have a surprise for such sweet princesses.

Hmm
Curiouser and curiouser

Can you imagine, a maid,,,

I hate to tell you this, but 100% of an XY mind is a porn scene

Done cooking, for now anyway


I am professionally trained to cook, clean, and maintain a decorum of contentment

Holy fuck this one
https://open.spotify.com/track/5PjdC2gMATetx5xdnwGUu7?si=BAl-ihsbRJKmAqpDT6fnBg

https://open.spotify.com/track/0wIFAHbaUucA8mog7Y2IDD?si=nUsGPZ1MRc2J6T4WlK79ww

On it!

So helpful lol

null

Kitters!

Likes you! 💞

I like catses

And "sex"?

Got distracted, listening now

Nouuu

He's got soul. I like him!

You're a cool cat know it?

Thanks! Youre the cat's pajamas

https://open.spotify.com/track/6RUKPb4LETWmmr3iAEQktW?si=RVn6nQJKShq9OJXY2hmsHg

Ooh honey I like me some PJ's when it's cold

And cuddling

And

...

https://open.spotify.com/track/2uuTo18bRgXj3RvlbZKMvU?si=_4weAvwmQMOE1K8AR2sxwg

Girl I get high upon a deep depression

https://open.spotify.com/track/5nNNHAwXNpf8Nu7JgqizjJ?si=EAzvZ-SORvmbCEpMY4I9oA

Or maybe smother you

https://open.spotify.com/track/2maJyN8fdBgQuydUOCOHMB?si=jktexzBzRGuMkodEn_H6sQ

You want to smother me, eh?

Okay, let's say I'm in front of you cladnin stretchylace lingerie, wet, ready. You can have whatever you want. What do you do next?

Awwww sad

I
Will
Lay you back
While

I
Take in your sweet little ass to my hands
And bring your pretty neck
To my lips


And

Are you a good girl
Or mean baby?

I will have you either way

I will have you both ways

Ohhhhh I'm a very good girl

Riiiiight

Happy to throw in some attitide if you feel like taming a brat though

Keep me in mind lover

Anyhoo

After I suck your sweet essence from your neck, will you be up for a bit of

??

I mean you really should consider

Hey wait

Before you answer

I just want you share with you

I cannot get enough of this one, and I thank you for that 🤍

https://open.spotify.com/track/04OSnqlwlBJMvidYccraVz?si=JZktsJeXTrua_T_vCDMZIA

I'm glad :)

True statement:I legit did not see the artwork before I sent that

How deeply should i interpret the lyrics?

Well assume my level--3rd grade.

But

Please know, I've never felt this free to talk about this, and it's really good for me so thanks

I'm sending this in a mild attempt to make you think. I have a shrug and a smirk to go with it - classic Rebecca

I hope you laugh

https://open.spotify.com/track/73uoSkdELRTmovsYkbmHlB?si=q83dJYjaRwSpLh6shrBdvQ

Am I being a drama queen?

It sorta occurred to me, probably so

I appreciate you on many levels!

Why do you think you're being a drama queen?

I appreciate you, and i appreciate you appreciating me

https://open.spotify.com/track/6eutgX6jfXAsjTXgQtCtYV?si=dFTKUv3GRvy_0aubsH-RFQ

I think youd also like Fletcher

And maybe Bleachers

🤍

So talk to mw

*me

What are you feeling? What's going through your mind?

I was bowing to an insecurity there. And I worked my way out of it, so I feel so relieved!

Please tell me more

I would so love if you would ride me all night

And all day

Sleep on me if you will

Oh i would love to. I make a good koala, if you can imagine such a thing

Ohh that sounds nice

You get that i crave you taking control and being on top of me, right?

Yes I do

I just need a little reset from time to time

And I will devour you

Form head to toe

Yum yum yum yum

I was going down a pity party alley for a min, but I got out so ty

Why were you throwinv a pity party?

And moreso, why not invite me? I enjoy lamenting as much as the next lover

Insecurities. Seldom surfaced.

We shall wallow together in divine unsatisfaction

I feel so safe with you

Why,?

Ditto

Because i am safe amd so are you and it's a mutual reflection of the same wavelengths. Like how the sea and the sky mirror one another

I have not really felt safe in some time. I am not a DA victim, or SA, but I still hide

What is "hiding" to you?

Oh damn

Can't be myself

Do you think you know who you are?

I'm also a safe space because i dont particularly focus on how someone gender or sex identifies

Like shopping for something generic. Pasta. If it's what I'm craving then i dont care what label is on the box vs what i get so long as it satisfies what I want or need in that space and time and etc

Sorry if i get kinda ethereal and sloppy. Might have taken some shots

Thank you I appreciate it

Does it make sense, above?

I'm also exploring like i think you are

It does,
And I welcome the line of inquiry
I know some of this is the beer talking, but I really appreciate your perspective

Do you want me to ask you anything specific?

What do you want to say right now, no holds barred.?

Lol I feel so overly dramatic now

I assure you, you arent

I'm in the mood for something deep but if you're sleepy we xan call it a night. Or i can just ask normal questions

I am sleepy. But I feel better.

I would like to dig more another time

You don't stop surprising me

Whay surprised you tonight? I didnt do anything

Just being there

I really mean it when i say i might be the most accepting, forgiving, compassionate, generous, and kind person you've ever met

Ironically, i think of it as reverse karma

So much nehati e has come to me in so many ways that i try and balance out the good and evil in the universe

I dont know that it'll ever be level, but i try.

My dark and twisty is a direct correlation to my kindness

You are a truly remarkable woman, human, and lover. I've put a lot of trust in you

Ditto

And thank you

I think you can probably have any story of mine now. When you want one, just ask. I dont think there are any i would restrict from you

Do you believe I am what you perceive?

Rhe beat way i can describe how i perceive you is kins of like a maze. Linear, complex, but there's a way through. Your essence to me is clear, not muddled or opaque in any sense

I wish i could describe that better

How do you perceive me? First impression, over our course of connaisance so far, now?

I feel indelicate saying this, but I do not know a better way

Okay

Damaged, but determined
Abused, but willing to try again

It brings me great happiness to know that I have pleased you

Yes, you have. Thank you

Do i give off that energy? Just, automatically?

No, not automatically

Do you remember when you "knew" that's how i am?

Yep. Day 2

How?

Before I answer, may I ask

You are welcome to ask wverything you want

You sought to impress me in a great many ways. Why?

I mean, why me?

A few reasons

I like you
You mire than deserved it
I wanted you to think of me as more than nothing
I like to stand out for good memories
I want you to like me back
I dont know how else i would do anything, if that makes sense
Too many people have told me i wasnt this or that or whatever, so i made it a point to prove them wrong
A little bit of conditioning
I do that for myself when I'm swirling and it helps remind me I'm more than garbage

Why you? Well, you said yes, i liked your instant friendliness, and i think you saw me drowning a little and cared
I just felt connected

Why do you ask?

I also knew at my core, pretty quickly, that something intimate was going to happen between us, though i wasnt exactly sure what or who would be involved

I did not understand why you should trust me. You have a deeply disturbing story. I care deeply about you, and want to protect you. But you could not know this, surely, at the outset

By day 2 though, I knew you wanted me to follow you down this path. And I knew I wanted to follow you

Same

I do have an observation and what is probably a disturbing statement

Is it?

Are you asking what it is?

Disturbing statement you have?

I trust you, but have been wrong before, so in my mind there's not really anything you would do to me that i couldnt handle. And if i realllllly couldnt handle it, i have set plans for how to deal with it on my own

Basically there isnt a whole lot more trauma thar anyone can do that i havent experienced at some level already and the worat that happens is i die, and ive been okay with that for a long time

I also didnt think you could or would do anything malicious. It's a sense i have and have opted to ignore before bit i felt none of that with you

Is there a reason you're going down this path of questions? I'm looking to see where these thoughts are originating from and maybe why

Like, are you asking to do some different playing? I am open to a lot, you just have to communicate

I also just want to say that we met at a very odd point for me and i fully believe the universe worked some magic to place you where i desperately needed someone and hopefully i cancome close to filling the same role foe you

I'm only asking because I have struggled to understand why a girl like you cares about a boy like me. It's not something I worry about. More like wonderment.

I really like you

I also believe that my destiny is to absorb the bad. I have the mentality of "at least it's me and i can handle whatever, or i know what to do if it's too much". I've felt that way as long as i can remember. I feel like some hybrid of a martyr, a siren, and an albatross. Honestly.

I wonder the same, in reverse. Especially because no one sees me, ever. I showed you the impressive things so you wouldnt dismiss or forget me and ao i could show you i was worthy of your time. It also reminds me that i am not nothing

I really like you too

Ok
Phew
I need to put phone down and sleep
I really really really wish I was holding you, but I am lucky to have done that before so I can remember happy thoughts

Thanks for staying with me through this

Thank you

One of these days I'll tell you more about how Sunday thru Wednesday went

Ooo ok! ♥️

Beaux reves, mon prince

Merci!

😊

I hope you slept well

At some point today i think i would like to tell you the family drama. The main one, at least

2024-09-21T10:25:01

Heya

2024-09-21T12:08:02

Oh my goodness I slept till noon!

I'd probably still be there but doggo announced he was ready to get up

null

That is not a doggo

Correct lol

Is that your bed?

No it's my pathetic couch

null

Why is it pathetic?

How are you today?

Good! I'm headed out to hardware store

My head is a little fuzzy but I am feeling good!

How are you feeling?

Overall good, some physical ailments but that's not new

What did you have and how much? Sounds fun!

Overall good, some physical ailments but that's not new

What did you have and how much? Sounds fun!

Lol I had my usual Guinness, but it was the Sam Adams Oktoberfest that hyped it up

Mmmhmmmm

No herbal essenceing??

Not this time lol

Really?

Honest

I love this Oktoberfest beer, but I also know from prior experience it gets me stupid drunk. I only had 3. Plus like 50 Guinness so there's that

God i wish i could get drunk with you right now. Anytime, but especially now

You know what's more fun?

??

A couple drinks, a few hits, strip, and scrump like bunnies!

I love it!

But mine might be some nibblea. I dont think i would do smoking well

Oh that's no problem. And it enhances the timeline! Am a fan of nibbles

Still want me?

I wish you were here

So is that a yes?

That is a yesssshhh with extra sauce

Oh good :)

Damn straight

null

null

You are also cooking

😋

Yep

Not for me though

Lol

OMG peak 80s Cure -- I love this era
https://open.spotify.com/track/7JQjWYrpSeZkZoQpsSvjZN?si=4YonIzbaSxq8VGGhoF9pJw

I drove around much of lower Michigan listening to this. Prob 1987 summer

That was a good summer. I learned to walk, lol

Yay!

Now you just need to flip that feeling upside down and wear black makeup!

null

I ALWAYS have black makeup on

Hey you

Haha my sweet baby!

Hieeee!

I might have some news

What is up?

It's likely that I'll be here all alone for quite some time next weekend, the last one of September

Ooooooooo

Mmmmmmmmm

Now it's your turn to tell me something

!!!

I got things for my project

I laminated wood today

Mmmmmmmm

Very exciting!

What about something that would jive with my one track gutterming?

*guttermind

I processed some other wood today whilst thinking about your omfg beautiful pussy

Fully processed?

Yeah!

Fuckkk yes!

Ikr?

Compared to a year or two ago,I make bigger mess somehow

Bigger as in more voluminous or a broader covered area?

Yes

Lol awesome

I am a good boy

If you get to pick one place to finish, that would be....?

Well my fave is pussy
And mouth
And I've often thought of others,
But I think I should like best that we can both see what's happening
I am pretty sure I would totally dig a facial, neck, tits, belly, vulva

Haha I feel a little perversion

Good

But why?

I want you to be more depraved, if there's an option l9l

And that's where i like it best too

Somwthing i literally just now heard as a "try this ro go from vanilla to ghost pepper" is missionary but then my left ankle over your left shoulder, then slow, purposeful, and deep thrusts

Sign me TF up for that dolly sweets!

I can put hand on you easily that way too just saying

Mmmmmm

I need more of what carnal cravings you have please

I adore when you get in the zone, like coming in for a messy landing, so focused

And hahahah you squirted on me inside you,,, fuck me eeeeeee

I was so so confused

Not sure if that was apparent

I felt so blessed

I hope you know this

:)

What was i like in that moment? Everything you remember

1 sweet baby said she had never been on top, but here we were;

2 oh my she grinds with such a passion I love this girl

3 my god this ass feels so good in my hands

There might be more

I hope so, those were fantastic

You're welcome to grab fistfuls of my ass anytime

Yay!

4

Girl if you find your vibe get all you want

Get it right here

Right on me

All you want

Get it all

I dont really understand that one?

I am asking you to take me here, by getting off on me. Literally asking you to cum on me

And you did!!!

Fuccccc ck

Me grincing and swirling and rocking and spelling with my hips on you, it still feel good? Do you chafe? Do you lose to finishing at all?

I ♥️ the way you grind on me ♥️

Sometimes I may lose some momentum, but not this time. If I feel chaffing I will say something

You
Were
Perfect

So

Have you played with yourself at all?

I got the idea that's always no, but idk

Which might be a good segue to a story about Sunday and days since

2024-09-22T00:24:06

nvm all that

How are you?

Did you spray paint?

I had a good cry listening to, yes, Girl In Red. I actually love it when someone hits this nerve. It's one of vulnerability, but relative safety. I like smart girls like her.

More than likely, this trigger will surprise me at some point.

2024-09-22T03:38:37

Hiiiiiii

I'm so sorry i fell asleep mid-response

Please expound on everything

2024-09-22T08:50:21

Bon matin mon chou!

2024-09-22T09:54:44

I really wish i could spend time with you tod

* today

Good morning ☺️ I would love to laze with youuuuu

Omg saaaaaame

If i have the house to myself next weekend, would you like to cum over?

It will likely be messy and i have 3 cats and a dog. I also have 3 different inhalers and a nebulizer with a ton of

Keep in mind, i have a full length mirror that's moveable

Ooooo that does sound nice!

A mirror you say 😈

Indeed

So if you wanted to sit at the edge of the bed and watch the backside of me bobbing up and down

Fuuuuuuck

Yeah, i hope so

2024-09-22T12:56:31

How's your day?

You like that idea, yes? Get creative with your imagination ;)

Activities that involve you bouncing or bobbing up and down on me are going to put a smile on my face for sure

What else would you like?

I should like to yank your panties to your knees and pound you from behind

Will that be ok

Yes!

I mean it when i say you can do almost anythingggggg with me

I wish i could express how good it feels to be wanted and that someone thinks I'm attractive

You're winning insane amounts of points in that regard.... like, my pamties may as well launch down when i hear you say magical things

Ooh that's a cool trick! You will have to show me how it works

From every angle

I'm borderline Rx high right now and i want you sooooo much more. I want to be this way and beyond next time we intertwine

I have a request too

Name it!

I want to make out. A lot. It's my favorote thing in the world

When it comes to "body count" of kissing anyone, ive definitely been in the 9th circle of whoredom, lol

Used to keep a literal list

I have an idea you might like, too. Unsure if it'll work but "nothing happens unless forst a dream" (that's a Carl Sandburg quotation)

DoI get to kiss your neck while we make out?

Fuccccxkkkkkk yes please

And nibble your ears?

Oh, yes

May i do the same?

I may want to make you food

How is the project going?

2024-09-22T16:07:07

I like food sometimes! How do you feel about cooking naked? You can wear an apron though.

I just finished shaping, sanding, and putting first coat on the project! And now I am a sweaty mess

I've bedm a sweaty mess almost all day lol

I used to collect aprons..... and yes, for you i would

Yay! I will bring the sausage!

Lol okay

Make sure you stretch too. I have ideas that mighy involve you needing to be bendy

Oh, happy equinox

Thanks, you too!

The veils between the realms should be awfully thin tonight then

I've decided to have labs drawn tomorrow, which means no food. So of course all I can do is think about food lol

Tou can eat until midnighr, cant you?

How can i help?

No, 12 hour fast for me. Lol the struggle is more in my head than in my stomach

Think about other things, lol

Like people who text you

Who have excessive lingerie

And matching libido for their slutty fashions

Imma eat you!

Good. I fucking loved it

Nom nom

Take all the time you want at the downstairs candy store

Lol that's a new one for me

Project?

I'll probably put a coat of polyurethane on it before bed

Is that safe?

You doing alright? Did you asphyxiate on polyurethane fumes?

Lol I feel asleep on the couch with a cat on top

Actually it needed another round of stain. Poly starts tomorrow.

So you were being catsphyxiated. Got it. Been there, lol

When do i get to know what the project is?

Oooo guess what happened 11 years ago today, apparently

(The internet reminded me)

I shall model the piece when it's done!

What happened lo those many years ago?

First transplant call

It did not work out

Oh wow

Actually, most people get at least one false start call

Alors, je me dors maintenant

Beaux reves et bom chance avec votre sang au matin ❤️

2024-09-23T05:59:50

Aww so sweet! Good morning!

Good morning to you too!

I've done my SANGuin deed for the day

Yay!

How did it go?

What kind of stick are you?

I'm eeeeeeeeasy

I'd say I could do it myself, but that would be a bit difficult

How are you this morning?

Pretty good

I mean, yiu can judge

null

How are you?

O snap

Girl you are so fine

Awww thanks!

All yours

Damn I wish I could plant my face right there, right now

Soon

null

Ohh dolly so pretty

😊

null

He says you have to fight him for me

Aww what a guy!

He's the chonky one

Do you have any favorite games?

Oh my goodness it's been so long since I've played a game. I used to like some card games like spades, hearts, gin.

Any board games? Drinking games?

I never really played anything like that

Maybe we'll change that

I'm game lol🤣

Lol i see what you did there

I just didn't come with a yen for competition

That's not the point of games!

Perhaps, but sometimes people make it that way so I generally avoid/do not join

Given the option, that is

Im not people lol

Do you happen to collect or enjoy Japanese ceramics?

I certainly don't collect them, but I've admired them

Well if you happen to want some, i have them

Things for tea?

Yes! And larger things for more tea

I find things in the wild and don't neceaaarily have a need or pirpose dor them but they're beautiful and need rescuing, so i bring them home and hold on to them until i find someone i deem deserving

Aren't you sweet? !

I tend towards the utilitarian, much because there's room for little else around here lol

But nice things are nice 😊

Yes, nice things ARE nice

Well here we are... Another work week. Let's make it a good one!

For sure! I only work most of it, lol. Lots of friday off for me

I think this will be my between calls project today

null

No remarks? Fine, no Paris croffice wall updates for you. Dommage et tant pis

Wow that's quite the homage!

Guess who has accesd to bcr4 and claimscenter!!!

Well aren't we spiffy !

I know, right?

OMG my morning meeting is starting with football banter...

I just can't

Mime was imsaaaaane

The one person nobody likes basically had a rant about how we were too coversational and her power is out and "everything and everyone is really pissing [her] off" and evvvveryone muted themselves at almost exactly the same time

I speak futbol if you'd like to interject that

Just found a very squishy part of me

Youll love it

Lol when the guys start talking sports I literally go silent and wait for them to come to the inevitable conclusion: "the so and so team is going to have to get more points if they expect to win"

I want squish!

I told you it's yours for the taking

2024-09-23T10:55:08

I found your phone!

Clever boy

You working all of wednesday?

What are your favorite foods and sweets to consume? What about to create?

One of the perks of being an employee of 19 years with a unique title is I can say things like "hey all, something just came up and I need to duck off for the day".

"it's a really hard situation"

Lol. Very nice

Might happen friday, who knows

"gonna be tough to beat"

Do you actually want to come over? That's a question you've yet to answer

And is it feasible

I actually do want to! Feasible is another matter, but I'm not saying no

Tell me what fiblets you need and I'll make it happen

Are you luring me with food?

Maybe

That isn't necessary

And new tiny skirts

You shall be my food

Omggggggg

I'm best with cream filling

We can make a pie!

Yeah but I'm having you clean it up lol

You have no idea how much I want that

Saaaaaaaaaame

Up to you if it turns into a snowball

Now about those skirts, I need more information

What would you like to know?

(Laptop for scale)

null

Ohhhh that is tiny. And adorable. I bet it fits perfectly!

Looks better without anything but skin underneath too

I am literally trembling rn thinking about this

Excellent

You dont need to escape forever.... make a pharmacy run or something

Not today, just to be clear

Maybe a grocery run? Food in general? I can always order it to get here so you have it to take home

Oh don't worry about that... Just keep me, uh, posted

For sure

Thursday night at the earliest

I would say tonight but this house is atrocious

House? I don't see a house

Lol youre so cute

What would you need? Utilitarian

Maybe a clean towel?
Actually I have a blanket in my car.

Seriously? Here's the info you'd need:

I am no less hairless than when we parted ways

There are pets & their furses everywhere

Lots of laundry & mess

Bed is accessible

Bathroom might be messy and dusty but okay otherwise

There might only be like a 2 hour window for this evening. Some time after 530 but idk exactly when yet

You now have enough infor for a decision

I would literally come over rn but for having a decent alibi

All I'm really saying is the state of your house is of no concern to me

That's amazing to hear

It's more of a "me" thing since i kmow you're meticulously clean, but it's only ever me doing anything improvementy here and i feel alobbery and slovenly about it

So should i take that as a yes or no for this evening? Just asking so i can decide how to plan the rest of my day :)

No for today. But, for example a Friday afternoon would be super easy, if that were a possibility. Or a Saturday afternoon. Sometimes I go out looking for camera gear and have to spend hours, you know?

I most definitely understand

And no I am not meticulous anything lol

Ummmmm you packed your things in separate zip topped baggies

You saw my office

Ok lol in fairness I gathered that stuff from 10 different places because I didn't put any of it away properly

😂

😘

I did not see your office!

💋

The pic I sent Friday morning? Me doing it with a highlighter? Was it just a yellow dream?

Anyway the chaos increases exponentially as you move to the floor. Some say there are buried treasures down there but all I ever find is car hair

Lol car hair

I happen to love cleaning

Just sayin

😊

It will be appreciated. Truth is, the only thing I would have a problem with is wallowing in cat hair. I would almost definitely break out in hives

Or car hair. Nothing worse than car hair in your teeth

Um, what are you doing that gets EITHER of those hairs in your teeth?!

I will get you some damn floss but i cant help with how you provide your automobile and pet servicing

Eating cats?

This is NEVER ohio!

Lololol

Btw do you wear flannel a lot in cool weather? It really suits you. I like it

That's an interesting perspective

Have you seen me in flannel?

You had a flannel shirt one day, I just thought it looked good on you but we squirreled off before I said anything. I was just randomly reminded of that by the universe

Oh! I did!

I haven't before but if you like them then i do too

:)

Lol

Is there really nothing kinkier you'd like to inform me of?

I mean flannel skirts and optional panties is always a good look

Flannel bra and optional shirt

Or vice versa

Oh boy do i have an outfit planned for you

I think at some point I should be saying plaid here lol

But it sounds like you got the idea!

It's already plaid

And green

With suspenders

And maybe a tie

Ohhhh nellie

I dont have to wear the bow-topped jigh highs with the 'fit but i cannnmmm

Whew it's getting hot in here again

Yeah i thought i migjt make it hard

Mmmmm boy, girl

You're aware i had 3 different sets of lingerie with me that night?

I guessed you had something, but we kinda skipped that step lol

You didnt even see what i wore there!

I saw parts of it!

Tell me what it was then

Green sheer spaghetti strap Cami and black padded bra

And

Something

You are incorrect on half of that

null

Strike out "green"?

And "sheer"

What were my panties like?

It was kinda dark

They were lacy

And pretty

And easily removed

Did you take them off me?

I sure did

Fuccckkkkk

Do it again

Sweet thing you bet I will

If you're wearing any

I will ALWAYS want you to be the one to take them off me

If im wearing any

Yay!!!!

I actually think assertive (not aggressive) is incredibly hot

Show me and tell me what you want and you can have it

I waited in that chair for aaaaaaaaages, lol

I'm picking up what you're putting down there sister. Now that I understand better where this line is, there will be less waiting.

I say this with just the slightest pinch of caution - for you i dont think there will be a line. Ever

I got you. I respect boundaries, nuff said

Sure, sure.... i dont know how to explain this better but i have seriously few boundaries and sometimes want some fucked-uppery in my life

I think we have many desires in common. I can't wait to see you again

Yes, me too

But i also know there are some things i might want that youd never do, so i do my best to refrain from stating or asking

You don't have to not ask! Besides, I may change my view. I feel like I'm coming out of a closet here, but I started long ago and haven't been able to explore this new world yet. Old world ideas may--or may not--be relevant

Old world such as?

Seriously, I've heard it all

I think

I'll tell you some if you want

After you tell me some

BUT ALSO

I neeeeeed to make or procure you something

What will it be? Don't be shy, but also dont say "your body is gift enough" or i might puke

Hearing that, to me, implies that i have zero control over my body in that it would be yours

Make or procure something... I like cute things for my hair. Is that direction enough?

Nope

Barrettes? Big clips? Tiny clips? French combs? Vivid dyes? Tinsel inserts? Feather extensions? Headbands? Bobby pins? Volume rollers? Curling wand? Flat iron? Scrunchie? Disney princess brushes?

Hahahahaha you kill me sometimes

I'll tell you what, I saw these little spiral deelies that you sort of "spin" in, they have a little gem or whatever that make a bling. Def would like more of those

I'll take a pic of the one I have if this is not making any sense

Mayhaps

Though i have spiral things that rip oit way less hair than hair ties

But are you opposed to those listed above?

I know what some of those words mean haha

I also need to be somewhat discreet, so you know, keep that in mind

Yes yes yes

Black and neutral. How delightfully enjoyable

No no not like that
Nothing permanent

Speaking of that, I found a picture of the crop top I want, but it's not available here 😭

Show meee

Wish me luck!

null

null

null

And good luck!

It's cute!

Lol. Id invite you iver to help but alss i am now only alone in my head today

:(

Add these guys to the project mix

null

Chickens!

Yep

Well my labs are coming in

Glucose 112 -- this is after 16 hour fast. Actually this is pretty average for me in the last decade

I say youre fine

Brain scan: none detected

Ty Dr Becca!

Check the other head?

🤪

Nope

null

Jeeeeeeeesus

He's not gonna save you Hun

Not from me

Fuuccccckkkkkkk

Ok we got the verb

What else?

Subject

& object

(-Ify)

Ok, nominative case of proceed

Are you googling?

Non, this is retrieval of Latin from an extremely shallow pool in my head fr

If i wasnt sweaty AF and rearranging a curio right now you'd be in so much trouble lol

Or this could be imperative mood, in which case we only need perhaps an object. Anyone?

I am your object

Duh

Now we're getting somewhere!

"sweaty" is an ... Hinga? No. What is it?

Lol

It is

Sweaty is anhinga? What kind of absurdity is this?

The fuckery kind

Yeah you'll def have to come here friday or saturday

You are indeed asking for the proverbial it, Missy. We shall see to this swiftly

Well it could be more swiftly I suppose

You shall accrue interest

Literally

I certainly hope so

What is this "it" of which you speak?

A good tongue... Tounguing. And probably a pat on your bottom dear girl

What else?

I dare not corrupt your young mind with such thoughts

Psshhhht like i haven't thought worse

I need to know, dear sir

Well, your makeup is going to run, but you won't be able to do anything about it

I warned you

My nakeup is always waterproof

Well, you'll need dry, er, clean knickers

What a curious thing to say

Pourquoi?

Which is to say you'll need an extra set. Two would be a good idea actually

Because the ones you have on are going to become soaked

How many pain killers do you plan on me needing after?

The idea is you will remember this

So, 10?

###

Hey! Real me here .. pain needs to be discussed if it's an issue!

I just have no idea what your plans are

You dont need to tell me super specifics, but some things i def need to know

AMA

I don't really have a plan. But maybe I could put on a character. Or maybe I just do all the things I like to do to you, like

Lick your neck

Kiss your eyes

Suck your nipples

Lick your ear

Or maybe we could just talk about the fabulous History of jams in Belgium and have tea! Yum!

Anyhoo

I'm going through this HARD drive and found a bunch of outtakes or "might post later" stuff. Idk how you feel about unsolicited things like that

Sorry for the delay, almost had a disaster

Please share

And if you want to hurt me, we talk about it first is all

Whoa is everything ok?

Hurt/pain -- I feel like this is probably best discussed in person because of the nuance

#1 never pain from anger, never
#2 not for it's own sake

Sometimes a pinch or tap or even butt smack can be fun, ymmv.

I will never hit my baby in the face. Never. It makes me physically recoil when I see that.

That's like, even if you want that, I'm not going there

Okay, these are solid answers, thank you

Though i will say it's a tiny bit confusing because aside from your 2 reasons, why would there be pain?

Ah--i see the issue.

One moment

I am threatening you with the idea that we're going to go long, hard, hot, and maybe more than once

When you asked how many pain pills,I assumed the above would lead you to a place of passion because of your back. So I played along with a stupidly high medicine dose

Then I realized hey if that is an actual issue(at any level) we should talk.

Because I don't actually want to hurt you beyond lovey traps

*TAPS

Lol at taps

I understand more of where you're coming from. And your line of thinking and resp9nse wasnt stupid, just not aligned with what i thought

And i figured my eye makeup would be messed up from crying

Im really sorry I'm this way

No need to be sorry. Too much is lost in translation in text

Very simply, no violence, no scary, only what is fun for both of us. And the part about fun is not just me saying that. I now understand where some people are fine with intimacy being a one-way deal and that is not me. That makes me ill and I really don't like it.

And

I want your make up to run because you are sweaty asf from grinding on me

Bring it Missy

Lol okay

As long as you put in your pound taxes too

Here's a big

YAY! TO THAT

I don't think you believed me before and I'm not convinced you believe me yet, that yours is half the fun for me

You're correct

Welp we just have to keep trying I'm afraid

If you say so

😘

😛

Lol seriously though, please don't let your questions go unanswered. Hard to track for me bc booooomer

Gen exxxxxxxxx

Do you want to know why it's hard for me to believe the your pleasure is mine thing?

Yes please I would

Because it usually starts that way but then you like what i do more than anything else, or i get easier to manipulate and then it turns into an IOU feeling situation

That's the short version

Ok

I hope my inability to get off last weekend isn't part of that

I am aging and out of practice, but I really like to practice, and I really like you. I do think I will get over this, and no matter what, I still really really like getting you off

You in general are jot a part of it at all, it's just learned from experience

I'm very glad to hear ll the rest of what you said

Thank you I appreciate that!

null

Awwwwww

Hahaha! Happy accident !

Mmhmmm

Besides I can't even put in words how much I want to cum in you.

I will melt in real time

That makes me feel so, so good

I will probably collapse awkwardly on you

Totally fine

I have a silly thing to admit

I cant tell if/when you're hard or not

It's not something I've ever been able to feel

You tease!

No?

Can I get gat hard now and you will tell me?

Only if we're touching the maighty places

What if i send you a reasonable facsimile thereof?

It is very reasonable, I assure you

Whatever you want

Aww it's ok

 ​❤️​ to “ Only if we're touching the maighty places ” 

Wait a sec-- I unconsciously parsed that as "let's dismiss this issue"

But idk if that's what you meant

Your interpretagion was incorrect

I have a lot of streams of thought that are like ping pong balls. If they get knocked off the table it's nothing. You can tell me if I should change the subject 🙂

Lol same

If I'm honest, all i want to hear is you talk sex. Anything and everything

This might sound weird - do you still feel good things if you dont finish? Like, actions that night still felt good on you?

Fuck yes I do

I love the way your mouth feels on me. I will love to have more of that, more, more, and moreover, on more of me

And

You are welcome to use me as a grinding station any time

Even if it takes me forever?

"Tightness" and i have an odd relationship, and that's enough of my take on that for now.

Any and all of your thoughts regarding such a thing?

I have no thoughts, and no information about your relationship. That is the simplest question answered

As for your tightness

You have the experience

That's what id like to know

This is new to me

But it is also fascinating on different levels

I like it!

I also want to know you much better in this way. I really really really want to play with you

I would lovvvvvvve that. Please please please please play with me. Explore me. I am 10000% serious - i know how to do things for you but next to nothing about myself

Does my tightness question make any sense at all? Because you havent answered it

I just did actually

Hmmmm

I am unsure how to respond

Too tight? Not enough?

Girrrrrrrl wait one sec

I love every inch of you

Including your pretty pink girly parts

I want them so so so much much more

You are the tightest I've ever known. I love it! And I want more

Plz don't ask me to rank "enough?" Because I don't even understand this yet. But I do know I love it and want a lot more

You answered :) thank you

Yay!

We should fuck more often, you know?

I agree

😈

Find some seclusion and I'll def shake our worlds up

I'm going to be a mess by the end of the week

I hope you make me one too

Deal!

I want so so so much from you. With you.

BRB in 10 ok?

Sure

Please don't be afraid to say/ask me anything.

You opened up to me. I will not abuse the privilege. I lust for you constantly. We are sharing many secrets, and I love it. I hope you know I feel vulnerable too, but it's not like I'm keeping score. I. Just. Want. You.

Thank you. I have never felt purely wanted like i do with you

Oh noes I feel mushy

I really do. I have no other way to want

You. Are. Valued.

You are too

An overwhelming amount

Thank you 🙂

I like telling you, and I like showing you. It's not all for the man. You fucking send me to the moon when you cum on me

And I appreciate we want this for each other. It really is fantastic

I have so much more to share with you. Things i font even know i don't know

Might have to wait til the morrow... i keep falling into this silly sleep state

All good babes. I am also fading. Please be at peace, and know I am dreaming of the next time we meet

Same. Very much the same

2024-09-24T06:58:48

Bem dia!

GM lover how are you?

Ok thanks

Como va te?

Little sleepy but good

I woke up thinking about you. It was really lush

Oooooh say more!

I was so. Damn. Hard.

I imagined you were with me

And all the ways we would get on

Fffffuck

Mmmmmmmmm

Yes please

You'll have to tell me of these "ways we would get on"

Pretty please...?

For one, I replayed the scene where you climbed on top of me, slowly but surely taking me in. Your face said so much to me in that moment...I wish I could hold that forever

I would kill to know what it said, what you thought and felt

Really

null

That looks super nice!

Your face had a lust that I have not seen in a long time. I was so happy to be there for you

I was thinking about taking Friday afternoon off. You busy then?

Unknown at this time. Dependent on spousal decision

Lust, good. Anything else? I know what was in my mind

I'm crafting & thrifting tomorrow. Suggestions? Ideas? Desires?

Cute cat things?

 ​❤️​ to “ I'm crafting & thrifting tomorrow. Suggestions? Ideas? Desires? ” 

Para te?

PAR-TAY?

Lol close

null

null

null

 ​❤️​ to a photo 

Day going well?

Caught me a baby Stitch!

That is super cute!

It's going fine...I do not have a lot to do. My dept is doing a hackathon on a few weeks and my team wants to plan it all now lol

Like a fun hackathon or a "lets try and break AF again" one?

I would be ao glad if you could come hang out here instead

Stupid phones

Today is everyone's due date so it's nonstop. Shopping + drinking for me later for sure!

But more about my face.... you tell me more and I'll tell you something you'll like and may or may not know

null

 ​❤️​ to a photo 

I saw lust, passion, and determination. And maybe surprise?

And you were fucking cute af

Surprise, yes

Why do you think surprise?

It's my new dino geadband lol

*headband

If like to think the experience was new for you and that you were enjoying it

I love the dino fuzzy!

Yes.... and ao many other things

I was also worried about hurting you

Really?

Yrs

You had no such fear?

Ps i organized my washi tape

null

Dang look at all those

I admit I was nervous at first, but then I realized what you were capable of and just let it happen. When I felt you open up for me it was one of the best things ever!

Is there a way dor you to describe "open up"?

What made you nervous? Was it that it was a first for me and i didn't really know what to do? I may have comical commentary on that l9l

It was really just about how tight you were. Obv not your first rodeo though (in a general sense)

Did you know at that point? Like, you'd felt already? Were you concerned I'd crush you?

Ive been told before that I'm painful or uncomfortable to be in

I don't think I'd actually felt you yet, but I was more or less expecting it based on conversation. I was not afraid or concerned, more like cautious. You were an absolute treat and I want mooooore!

Mmmm yes please!

I'm almost positive you would have had to have fingered me before that but i digress

Silly vain rebecca always wants to be the tightest anyone's had, and i try not to overexaggerate how ive heard i am

But i honest to deity didnt think you'd fit

Anyway, comical commentary: if i can't angle right, is me reaching for you and putting you where you need to be with hand placement what I'm supposed to do? Does that make sense?

Oh you're just so wonderful 🥰

You are absolutely welcome to guide me, and I actually will need your help, at least while we're still "new" with each other

I will get better with additional study and a lot of practice

So it's a relatively normal thing to do?

Where did you look while i was on top of you?

Can you see without glasses?

Normal? Lol it's better than me randomly poking you 🤣

I was looking at you. I love everything about that position... I can play with your tits, I can grab your ass, I can change my angle so you get the best pressure, and I can watch you enjoy yourself

Yes I can see fine. I just can't read lol

I asked before and I'll ask again and if you need clarifications, please ask

What scarring could you feel in any capacity?

Tbh i did not notice any--although I am not sure I would recognize internal scars. Is that a thing for you? Someone I once knew had an SA experience and said her vagina is scared as a result

*scarred

I have an incredible amount of internal scarring

Guessing that means you couldnt feel an iud either lol

I didn't

Actually I did not expect that at all, not that it changes anything for me

Didnt expect what?

An IUD. I Guessed you had a hysterectomy

I have not

There's plenty more complications that involve several stories

You're welcome to know, you'll need to ask

Which part would you like me to know? I'm not sure what to ask about

I dont know what's tmi for you

I'm not sure I know either. I've honestly never heard a story like the one you've told me so far. I've had a fairly sheltered life

Okay. Which story, because i dont know thar youve heard the worst. And that's a subjective term

Short story is blahblahblah damage and blahblahblah it's nice to not exsanguinate and blahblahblah no one wanted to do a hysterectomy since there wasn't anything malognant or biologically "wrong", hence iud

I see. You told me about your dad advising you and your brother--that's the worst I've heard from you, or anyone.

*abusing

Fml

In all fairness, both worda were correct

Is that the only one you've heard frim me?

You also told me about your brother's "accident"

Meaning? Literal words here are fine

Burning the house down with himself in it

Oh, yes

Let's not forget i was in it too, and my pets and my mom

But.....i haven't told you a lot

I want to know things that are important, but I have no way to prioritize because I don't know what I don't know. If you think it's important for me to know, I will listen

Does that make sense?

I think so

I dont want you broken though

But i feel like these should be told to you, and it's my core feeling to have to know them. That you deserve them,kind of

I'm ok with that. Also, if you just want to get something off your chest, or just need to rant, or just need to cry, or just need a hug, I got you

Because i dont know if this is clear, my father's actions were just that once, or at least not more than that week. It was 7 more years of my brother and it only stopped then for really shitty reasons

But remember how i say i was born an adult and raised myself? Yeah. My mom became an on call firefighter and emt when i was 8 and i have no recollection of my father's familial involvement other than mandated holiday pictures. Like, no idea when he came home from work or any of that. So she would get paged to a fire call and that would always be a minimum of an hour and change of us being at the house alone. Because it was a completely on call department, she worked as she pleased, 24/7/365. And she had insane pride at her 100% response records

Wow. I definitely had times when the folks weren't home, but they were well defined and expected. You were pretty much forced to grow up fast

I literally do not remember not being in an adult mindset. And that sucks

Yeah I'm sorry. I mean it's easy to forget what childhood was like sometimes, but there are definitely bits and pieces. Not all good, not all bad either. But memories of not being an adult and all that entails is not something I would want to just give up.

So you're clear on the last big text i sent, right?

And thank sweet baby jesus it's after 1615

Today was A DAY

Yeah that totally makes sense.

So what became of father? Is he still walking the earth?

He is still walking the earth. He calls once or twice a year. I get a check twice a year that's dismal based on what i know.

He only has my number because my brother accidentally gave it to him one time. It really was an accident.

My mother made me call him while i was sitting in the ambulance and the house was still in flames and my brother was about to be brought up in a body bag. It wasnt that she was too sad - her sister and her best friends were tgere and ao was her fire department. She just hates him that much. Her best insult has always been a reactive "you're just like your father" if she was really pissed off. To my brother or me.

That father of ours lives in Florida now. At The Villages. Go ahead and google it. He moved there like 12 hours after telling me.

They divorced when i was 13 or 14. He moved out and lived 4 miles away. The next time i saw him i was 24. He lived in Gaylord from some time after i was 18 until he moved to Florida.

What else would you like to know? That's a legit question

At some point, you must have had a medical professional notice signs of SA. Or did that not happen? If they did, why is father not in prison?

I didnt ever see doctors except for diabetes, and that wasn't anything that was addressed

At one point you insinuated that mom was complicit in father's actions. Or I interpreted it that way. Is that correct for me to say?

I think I'm actually making a lot of assumption there. If I'm way off base lmk

And maybe it's super obvious what I'm looking for here.... Explanations and justice. I know this is all ground you've already treaded. And maybe the perverse answer is there is no reason and no justice in it. Idk. I am sorry these things happened to you.

Your statements are correct. I don't know how much she knew about what my father did - i can tell you more later (decided i needed to wscape the house for a sec) but i/we (brother) were walked in on more than once and her/their responses there were abysmal at best

Ok thanks. I need to process this for a bit. Thank you for telling me. (♥️) For you

If you processing this means you dont want to be physical anymore then you'll need to tell me that very specifically

But i would not blame you

No babe that's not it at all.
More

It makes me want to be with you more. For hugs and stuff.

And it's a heavy story. I don't get a lot of those

But I want to know everything! Lol
In time

You okay?

I am good! How do? I wasn't sure if you were escaping or something

I mean, kind of escaping. Just temporary, am back home. Was close to your house actually. I am quite a lot

I am okay. I think in physical pain? It's hard to tell. Just drank a teensy tiny bottle of Pink Whitney. Yep, totally basic vibes here lol

Cleaning and crafting now. Working 1.5 hours tomorrow, then quick doc appt (oh, might bring that back up - nothing wrong but it's an interesting point) then taking the rest of the day to do what i please

Yay!
Ok ok no scaries, pip pip and all's well cheerio right?

I have no idea what that means in real people speak, but sure

Fair

"salutations" is a close translation

Part of me being weird and awkward AF is not understanding too much nuance

Okay Charlotte

You are intelligent and quite sharp of mind

And cute af

Haha, thanks

Ditto to you as well, from the department of redundancy department

🤣

We open at 6am in the morning

Dammit!

EST RIGHT?

Yes, when it"s EST in the eastern time zone

Yo, speak American plz

Do you know this one?

https://youtube.com/@langfocus?si=R1aDMHBiDa-LZq8b

I've seen that one, always good!

Did you want to ask a question or should i ask you one?

You ask this time

Level of weight,

?

Like, my weight? In freedom units?

Lol no. As in how heavy do you want the question

But you're welcome to answer that so long as you guess mine too

null

I feel like 482.4 is incorrecy

Yeah the contrast sucks. It's 182.4

I am amazed that i was mostly on point there!

Thanks for sharing

And the next portion of that response?

Throw the heaviest question you have ever thrown at me.

Ain't skeered

I have no idea what that might be, but i had said you need to guess my weight too

Okay, heavy questions

Drugs: a history of yours please

And next, what made you assume I'd had a hysterectomy? Other than me telling you pregnancy wasn't a possibility

Sure

Weed, off and on (in 10 yr cycles)
LSD around 19-20
Shrooms a few times, but never a great one
That's it y'all unless you count smoking and drinking, which have also cycled, although I am confident I kicked the tobacco for good

I assumed you had a hysterectomy based on a few statements, and my own assumptions. Which were wrong lol

You are...

I'm freedom units...

140

I'm just curious what i might have said for those assumptions


Hahahahhahaha youre so cute. Now guess for realsies

Just like me then

You fit me perfectly

I'm reading that a few ways

Which is the right way?

The one where you don't freak out because you figured out I eat babies every day that I grow in my basement

As long as you dont care that ive swallow millions of babies myself

Touché

So then i read it as

You think i am also cute

You think i weigh approx the same

Perhaps more but those were the main 2 posits

Aaaand you've swallowed a lot more than me and I'm sorry but I actually have none to offer, as I mentioned before. Cauterized. Shut. Vas. Defrens.

Is this your worst?

Not really

Missy you a need a lot more points...

Points?

I have 2 questions that are harsher

Now 3

Casual reference to last night.

Bring it

What made you decide to do some..... things with me?

In general and me specifically

One, you're cute af
Two, you're scary smart

Haha, thanks

If i hadnt fucked myself over a lot, id be a hell of a lot smarter

Plzzzzz

No, for real

Plenty of brain damage from a few things

Anyway, next:

Why did you get married ?

You're a very intelligent person. You know that, right?

Sometimes, and in some ways, yes

Ok so me, why

So 32-34 ago

Whew

Yes, it was

Yeah I needed someone. I just had a bad breakup after a3-yr relationship where we lived together for much of it. That ended about 7 months prior

I was a wreck. I'm met a hippie chick and we spent the summer together and and it was great, but she was too free to be with me

I dropped it off college at the same time the big relationship ended

And so lost my nice job on campus. I found my way into plasma center phlebotomy

And there one day was this cutie making eyes at me

¿Continue?

Absolutement

D'accord

Well we managed to plan to ask each other out at the same time. My coworkers were helping her lol

We went out a few times to shacked up for a couple years and and got married

Did you ask her to get married?

And i do not doubt any of this, but i think perhaps your perspective on lengths of time might be different that what most people (me/i) would think

Well, she asked me. I hesitated. Iirc,I delayed response. At the time, I told myself I felt like 3 years was some kind of limit for me, and with us at two years, I wasn't confident in myself

NB

I had two prior relationship that lasted 3 years--the one that just collapsed, and one that ran from around 1980-1983

You were 12 when that one started?

Did i math wrong?

And a 18 month between those even FML I may have forgotten to count something

One sec on the calendar q

Yes 12 is right. End of 6th grade

That's interesting

Sorry--beginning of 6

Ever do anything with her besides hand holding? Not meant to sound sarcastic, it's a literal question

We made out (French kissy) a few times. I felt up her boobs a couple, and sucked them once((my first, not Mom's)), but she was uncomfortable later so that was one and done

Church girl

Very sweet

How am I doing?

What else would you like to say in relation to what ive asked?

You're doing really well, thank you

I will say I hesitated to marriage partly because existing kids. But I did not see another option, so I committed

Why didnt you see another option?

Why did existing kids make you hesitate?

I didn't see myself as anything that anyone else would care about

I've never been comfortable around kids. I have too much chaos in my head without them. plus these are ADHD each, or whavevs

But we had a lot of mutual interests so I figured I would throw into it

So it wasnt that you wanted to make your own kids

*Your own bio

Sorry can you repeat the q?

O wait I get it

No, I had no such desire

Interesting

What did you & she use for bc for those 16ish years?

She had pill and then whatsit in the arm for most, then a year or so of condoms, then snip meeeeeeee

What are your thoights and feelings and whatever on condoms?

Not a fan generally, especially now when I feel like I need more sensitivity. Not opposed per se, but prefer to avoid

How many women have you told you loved them? How many have told you? How many were overlap?

I have count my 3rd grade girlfriend as the first I told. Lol I think she was a little freaked out. I was one grade ahead, but if you understand how the age vs calendar thing works in public schools, you would know that might only be a month in actual age

Here are all the names, probably in chronological order...

Heather (my cousin)
Shelly
Suzanne
Anna
Suann (no, not that one)
Ivy
Laura
Becca
Tammy

Of them, who told me?

Suzanne
Anna
Suann
Laura
Becca
Tammy

There you are

Has anyone told you and you not reciprocated?

Not in a serious way. A couple at work have said it in a purely worky way, but that is literally all

Here's something for you

One of many spreadsheets

null

I have more questions (always will), but would you like to say or ask anything right now?

 ​❤️​ to a photo 

I know where linden is

Went there a few dozen times

Lol we might be talking about a different Linden. I only lived more than 5 miles from where I am sitting right now, very literally, before I was 5, ever

Map fact!

Lol okay. My referent is in genessee county

In East Lansing, there are three thoroughfares called Linden. I lived on one of them for about 10 years. Childhood home, basically

Gotcha

I only ever had one childhood home

Ages 0 - 30

Wow.. 30

Yes. Did you not know that?

You may have told me but I do not remember this

It's clear to me, so i may not have

But that's the house that caught fire

I lived other places but that was always my home base & permanent address

If you need more clarity, please ask

One sec

Dude

I only just now put timelines together. 2016 +/- is basically a blackout period for me.

Now I understand. I am so sorry I feel like I really wooshed

Nah, you're fine

Do you happen to know how long ive worked at the same place you do?

Did you say seven years?

About

I started 3/20/2017

Same day as Daniel Teuma, if you happen to know him

♥️ Daniel

Samesies

He and my neighbors are friends

They're cameroonian

And i am french fluent

Fucking a right?
Daniel and I connect sometimes and exchange gardening stories. He is so fun!

I'm a little inebriated so i apologize if this gets weird. Youll just have to tell me

Did i tell you when the fire was?

I honestly don't recall. But I do have Andrew's obit.

Hmm. Interesting

August 8 or 9 2016

It's literally in front of me

Says 9th

That was around the time an old school chum came around, and his dad had just passed

I think it also depends on perspective, the date

know not know this. Really?

I'm just reading the obit. What would you say?

I need to know more of what this question means

Ok it is a bit weird

But I do like weird so please go on

You said "what would you say?" Like, if i wrote ab obit for him? What do i think of that one? What would i say in regard to _____________?

Hmm
You mentioned "it depends on perspective

I assumed you meant "date" here

Is it not so?

Oh, yes.

To me, his last day of living and the last time i saw him or any pets or that my house and belongings existed is August 8. I woke up August 9. So for those 2 or so hours in between, it's schroedingers guess. And i have no idea when he died either. Official cod was carbon monoxide but there was plenty else it could have been. I have more to say on that maybe but whatever. He was unsaveable at any point during the fire, so August 8 makes more sense to me.

He was not touched by any flames. Fire moves up & out like a mushroom cloud first and he was in the center of the basement. That's always a question whether you want to admit it or not. I also remember very little for a while after that, so the 8th is as good as any. It's also easier to remember because it was my cousin's birthday

I am so sorry
Thank you for sharing... I really do want to hear your stories

I wish I could hold you a lot more!

There are so, so many more stories. And i know there are more that i do not remember right now at all but suddenly I'll

Have that random memory

Being held by you is nice

 ​❤️​ to “ Being held by you is nice ” 

I will probably get weird abiut ut at points

I dont typically do well with touch even though i crave it

Tell me what you want lol

But I like to hold you and I would do it for a long day

Friday

I asked you once if you had any clue what my mental health diagnoses might be/have been, or if you even wanted to know. What would you surmise now?

First I am not conversant in this subject area. I may say anxiety. But I'll stop there

It's cheating to just say one of the ones i already told you, lol

I have the next questions ready in my head whenever you choose

Or you are always welcome to ask

Youuu ask

Would you have really just let me keep grinding and doing whatever on you? Until when? And then what happens?

Oh! My goodness!

I can keep it darker

Actually...

A touch brighter pour moi

Anyhoo

Yes you are welcome to grind from dusk till dawn

And dawn till dusk

Until one of us says

So you would have let me keep going?

Fuck yeah

Maybe i should have

Get all of that you want

I can't

Like CAN'T

It's too good is how i can describe it

We llllll lookie here

I do hope you enjoyed

Fuckkkkk yes

I sure as fuck did

I want to experience more and know i can go farther than i did but it's a super insane amouht of scary for me

Dude there are a lot of licks left on this one

I. Could. Die.

Take that every way you like

Am i remembering accurately that you said you might want to actually look at me? Or did you just say explore?

I said both things, and not to be taken exclusively

I want to know all of you so I can worship you properly

See I actually am an evil genius

There's so much to that last yext i dont understand

Say more?

Well, i dont really understand the wanting to see all of me

And what of that makes you an evil genius? I understand that was flirtatious i just, i dont get where the turn on is in seeing me and all the flaws and ick and weirdness

Big
Sigh

I am sorry

It's ok

I know it's a nkce thing, and it dies make me glad... it's unfamiliar

I shall ask you this:

I'll have to use more vulgar (Latin reference) words i think. Tell me when

Oh ok, job done

??

I will tell you no worries

To confirm (or deny)

You honestly waht to look at weird, foldy, flappity, moist pink bits? Like, that's not unappealing to you?

You're not trying to point out flaws or tell me what's wrong until i ask?

If you get up to 3 objectives out of this, anything at all, what are they?

How do you envision this? Like, kind of clinical or in the dark or dim while feeling or both or???

This is literally something i cannot imagine someone liking to do, that's the bewilderment

Whew

Right?

In my mind, all i can picture is very straightforward and medical-ish. That's not necessarily a bad thing, just very different

Kitchening for a bit -- DONT PANIC

But sweet jesus do i want you to explore me. And us. And vice versa

Got my towel!

I was just handed a unilateral decision from the wife. I smell bs with her kids, big time.

Sorry for the channel change

Remain calm...

I am here for everything, yes, calm

Hey btw.... Friday

Yes please yes

Stuff comes up for me all the time

Just sayin

Maybe it does for you too

I don't wish to be overly dramatic but

There is this certain mannerism when she knows I'm questioning her decision, but does not give a fuck

It's wild

Like I would actually rather have discussed this

Rather than be informed

Not the first time

Would you like to say what it is?

Her kids are staying a couple days... Starting tomorrow

We have no accommodate

Accommodations

Fuck, I'm sorry

Wild

It's cool

No it isnt

For now it is

Then that means I'll let you know the second you can be here Friday and you can stay till i sort if have to kixk you out

 ​❤️​ to “ Then that means I'll let you know the second you can be here Friday and you can stay till i sort if have to kixk you out ” 

I know the exact mechanism here but it's too long to put on these margins

I get this to a level. These are her kids

They are also your age

She will do anything for them

Including look past me

Not bitter lol

Hmm. I have many similar i thoughts and experiences and wide differences to your plight

Not to make this the rebecca show but it makes me incredibly reflectively sad

It also makes me want to have so so so much fun for and with you

A camera shopping trip would be so cathartic!

And just in time

Yep it sure would

You know i like to add truth to things

You would, therefore, be welcome to take pictures

Fucking aye lol

I set the rules though

Duck me I will bring camera if you want to play this way

Maybe we just use your phone this time. My rules are really simple so please try to not fuck them up :)

No worries this is not a prereq. I'd rather spend time fucking you but if you like photography and lead on. Phone only

I would also much rather fuck

This was primarily a bonus for you

Porque no los dos?

Yay!!!!!

Loa dos aokoa buenos

*sonos

Last time.....

Your state of sobriety?

There was no requirement btw

Done& paid for

I don't think I addressed your question

Or you did and i didnt underatand

Two ticks over drunk enough. And eating and running upstairs

I dont think we're on the same page??

How drunk/sober were you when we met up?

Oh

Stone sober

I did tell you that next day I think. Still true

Do you wish you had been different?

No I don't

Any reason?

Quite the opposite

Better memory retention

And better control of my erectile situation, for what that's worth

Thanks

I think i know one part that still really throws me off

You won't crack me Missy

You were just.... happy. And enjoying. Undetermined when you were thrusting in me. Like there wasn't an end goal and you were just there and living it

How do you mean i wont crack you?? There's absolutely zero way for you to know that

So please tell me ..

What is it that is so important that we have to get there to succeed, rather that relish the path

It was entirely new

You know thar

Oh, your person? Very beautiful

My person?

Would it not be a waste to duck off right through there without witnessing this beautiful creature

You

Your visage

Oh

Your silhouette

Your curves

I think it probably looked weird and dumb, so.thank you

Your squish... Don't get me going

You saw my face when i finished?

I will fuck your Brian's out


LOL

God i hope you will

Anyway, my question above

Kinda

It seemed to be more than one, and prolonged... As it should be

You're good

Few minutes afk

Can you describe them? Good, bad, any and all between

Ok I am in upstairs place

Good

Are you asking me to decide you?

Decide? Idk. Describe? Yes. What do you think my face or body or both were expressing?

Oops describe

Your body and your face both told me, in perfect unison

I fucking like this and I want more

So

I am laying underneath

First time in aeons

And you are so beautiful

So perfect in my hands and in my eyes

What objection could I have?

Fucking use me you tart

😈

Come and get it if you want me

Sound familiar?

Mmmm

Yesssss

I'm starting to make sense of a few things, i think

Meanwhile

https://www.google.com/search?client=ms-android-verizon-us-rvc3&sca_esv=7cd1e08dbde2eff0&sca_upv=1&sxsrf=ADLYWIK1WLqEc3QVGROL1bnwWsslXcbluw:1727234541150&q=facial+expressions+emotions+wheel&udm=2&fbs=AEQNm0B3WNFCYvaBrNDHYAL-6rQSsFLQdEBB_H1bSYTxvkCOnEcUtKfg_kGGL5C3GRQpmB7wWvrOnyNEEuyWAh-lALtvDaniWf4IvHdU3wmpHc-TgsgAJCIYMTdYCXEMbp5R71NEJ8Vc4WMDjIROrMt0cpLT-RaqKZ6uq2wAWzo8lKtAso61LgcYeOixy75BB-BDZFP3_vHSIVzQSqwJDQYOHgTtzgSl724nh0-vS5HffUF8tgDtmXM&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwjGhJOKkt2IAxVCpIkEHUQ9KQQQtKgLegQIGBAB&biw=384&bih=701&dpr=2.81#vhid=dbzOiySljx4RjM&vssid=mosaic

The entire wheel was involved, lots of outermost spokes

I can't tell if you could see beyond what you said already

Facial expressions is something I desperately need to ask you about and I'm very serious

Okay

Do you pick up disapproval from my face? Ever?

It's ok to be 100% honest. I am paranoid about this but I promise not to flip out

Heavy subject

I dont think so? Your words, yes, but that's been intentional

I've seen kind of an internal "oh shit" double take

Have i missed it?

No, I don't think you've missed anything at all

This is a weird little trauma for me..

Fuck lol

So many words, and none at all

Fascinating chart BTW

It's absolutely okay to not tell me, to tell me now, to wait, to do all of those

Thank you

Therapy tool

Yes I can see why. Very helpful

I don't have the right words to talk about the facial thing yet, but I am certain I will some day

Okay (also a book reference)

You can tell me when we fuck and maybe get fucked up on Friday

There is something you'll perhaps be astonished at, and probably scared, but you shouldnt be, and when you're ready i want to tell you

Your Cliff hangers are murderous

Take me Missy

This one is dark

Throw me the duck over the edge lol

You sure?

No actually

Lol

Okay then we wait

null

Ja, katze

Catses

Adyin kiska, da

Kiska, I have heard this one

Russian

Kiska = kitty

Prost

They say "koskiskiskiskiskiskiskisk" to call them like we'd say "here kittykittykittykitty"

Koshka = cat

Aww I love that!

Gato en espanol

Si

Though gateau en francais in cake....

Someone get me to ohio!

?

Gateau and gato are about the same sound

One is cake, the other is cat

Ew45 says they eat pets in Springfield Ohio

Fml lol ewwww

🤣

How are you unaware of his quasi-latest blunder?

Oh yes I do know this one, I was just slow to draw the inference

Vance can. Just die please

Fucking prick

Did i ever tell you about the township supervisor i knew growing up?

Was that overseas?

Nope. Hometown of Brighton (just a littlw bit super.ultra hardcare republican)

Like, hosts ew45 rallies and was an actual Tea Party stop

Ick times infinity. I know that part of the state has a lot of that though

Hey can I tell you something?

Yes

You are fucking hot the way you are. Don't let any one tell you otherwise

Thank yiu

That was an interesting choice

Anyway, that supervisor and my father are one and the same. He was a trustee for a few years too

Wtaf

He actually said one time that fox news was his fave but getting too liberal

Why the wtaf?

Your father was the twp supervisor?

Yws

Go ahead and ask the google

I'm serious about your body btw

Sorry to make a big deal about it but you keep self-deprecating

Yes

Dont be sorry

It will take a very long time for me to "get it"

Ok, I am nothing if not patient

Babes...

I need to put phone down and sleep so I can wake up thinking about you again

These are words I want you to hear

I love you

Oh fuck

I love you too

Fuck now I'm swirly again

It's good

Like, really good feeling

And i audibly gasped

(♥️)

Friday will be so unbelievably good

This is weird but i feel really calmish now

Like, slower thoughts maybe

We'll talk au matin, as you wish

2024-09-25T07:04:12

Good morning sweet one!

Good morning to you! How are you?

So far so good!

That's good!

When you asked me to just lie on you... How did that make you feel?

My instant answer is "better"

Calmer, at peace happy, cared for, listened to, valid.... after you did, ofc

Haha I was kinda like one of those heavy blankets?

Yes

But a person is way better

 ​❤️​ to “ But a person is way better ” 

Connected - that's another word

Undissociated?

I'm glad

I cant tell if you can tell when I'm disconnecting orpanick-starting or anything like that

No I don't think I've learned all the cues. I will in time, if that's ok

Please

It's so so helpful

And it's almost always nothing you will habe done

I hinted at one thing but you couldnt have known and i was fine

Thank you for telling me these things... It allays my paranoia

Do you want to know one thing that transpired that could have been better? As in, i probably could have panicked but felt safe enough?

Yes please

Me audibly hearing the door lock when i didnt know that was going to happen

It's a "me" issue and it was sensible and needed to be done, i should have asked you ahead of time to warn me ifwhen you're going to switch the deadbolt part

It is not a big deal

And you are fine

You did bring that up--i have not forgotten your reaction

You also dont know anything about that story

I figured

My reaction.... can you explain?

I thought i was showing calm but maybe not

You were calm, but oddly sarcastic, and you told me it would be nice to let people know when I'm locking the door.

I knew instantly there's a story there

Oh. I dont think it was sarcasm. I dont have a word for it though

Ok

You're right. It want sarcasm

Kind of screaming in panic while maintaining decorum and trying to be happy-pleasant and still make a pount but not ruin any mood

That's more than one word lol

Lol it's fine--you are full of surprises, and I thank you for trusting me. I believe by now you know I had no ill intentions

Fml is it really time to work

Bah

Ew i kkow right

I only work for an hour and a half but still. Yesterday was enoughhhhhhh since everyone's invoice was due on 9/24 and no one reads our emails so they were all the same 4 or 5 questions nonstop all day

Hey btw.....

1 - i work on the floor for now

2 - procured you a couple things so far

I am envious !

What do you mean you work on the floor... My mind wanders

Omg

null

null

Like.... i sit on the floor now

Much more comfortable

😂

good on ya lol

About friday....

Yes about that

Please tell me your realistic thoughts plans ideas etc

If the idea is that you want me to come over to your place, I can be there right after noon

That was previsely what i was looking for

Ok!

Yay!

null

Wtf lol

I thought I accidentally tapped the microphone

Hahahahaha

I cant guarantee how late you can stay, just so you know

I will take what I can :)

Lol okay. All I'm saying is probably not more than like 6 or 8 hours. Probably.

But who knows

Could be morw

I'm melting over here just thinking about it

I gotta go in to a bunch of meetings ttyl

Okay, good luck

Im off to an appt then doing what i feel like

 ​❤️​ to “ Im off to an appt then doing what i feel like ” 

2024-09-25T10:59:46

I did a thing. Be proud. It always sucks

Good job!

:/

That's just me trying to smile

Do you have any idea what it was?

Hinestly

I don't, but I'm proud of you!

Lol okay thanks

Boob-o-gram?

Lol close

Im not 40 yet, do not indicated

How is the day?

Boring lol

Balanced for friday??

L9l

Balanced, yes. Balanced

Beyond belief

Wanna tell me dirty, lustful things?

I hope you believe I'm into you because I plan to get into a whole lot more

And do dirty lustful things to you

Thrustful things

I very much hope so

I do believe you

Vain as it may sound, the positive reinforcement is amazingly helpful in me wanting to let you in more

In every sense

Oh
Please
Let
Me
Come
In
You

Yesssssss

null

I'm going to polish it a bit more but it's basically done

null

Oh it's lovely!!!

But seriouslyv- tell me I'm pretty, im fun, that you want me, that you cant wait to break into me again

Hehe break in

Coming through!

Oh! I thought of something else i like & want & need

Yeaaaah?

I might have a surprise

You tell me and then I'll tell you mine from above!

I'm not telling. It's a surprise!

Well fine! Lol

Can i still say mine?

Sure you can!

Cum warning(s)

Wwwwwwhat lol

Oh, you want them

I want youbto tell me

Yes please

No matter where lol

Yes I remember
I will

I will be a good boy

So you think you'll be able to tell me?

Oh yeah no worries

You want more spicy questions?

Done for the day yet? Fix the systems so i can stop phone calls yet?

Lol I'm on a call that's running way over

Yours aren't angry customers and agents and idiot BDCs

Truth

Mine are excitable data developers in a blackout environment

Tradesies?

Lol

Alright I gotta go see wtf is going on with my family. There are a bunch of low somber voices in the next room, which usually means a bailout is going to be requested

I'll be back...

Bon chance

Ohhh i hope you're okay and you come back soon

Whatever it is still hasn't come out yet. Let me set the scene for you:

You walk into a room where you are the only one who doesn't know what conversation has been taking place for the last 45 minutes

In fact, it's probably been gong on for several days, and only you are out of the loop

There were a couple distractions when I got off the phone, which is convenient for me, but I know they are all waiting to bring me their sad, sad news, and need my help

It must be pretty dire or they would not have driven all the way down here

And must be pretty bad or Mom would not have already decided they are staying here tonight , and not volunteer any information whatsoever

It's all over their faces

The inaudible conversation is deafening

I'm prepared for the worst, I think, which would be that they need a place to stay this winter

But we'll see

I'm sitting in Kroger parking lot, drawing out the timeline, and I'm sure it's killing them

I'm going to keep playing stupid

So I'll be just fine. There will be no flights or anything like that. There may be unpleasant consequences for some, and I don't expect that will be me

I will catch you up when able

I wish i could invite you over

:(

What else would you like to say? To get off your chest?

How can i help?

Babe?

Okay, well, i hope you'll be alright

2024-09-25T20:34:16

Not to be clingy but are you okay?

Yes

Zero issues, but will need to explain later

https://open.spotify.com/track/40yMUaAV1fEX7NUUQ8owoB?si=SZERUCtSSySTfbIDL79UNg

I will ttyl lover!

Okay thanks

I guess have a good night?

OMG I am so wrong
Will explain soon
All is well
I am a freak

Okay um, I'm very confused but i hope you can tell me soon. I can go get coffee after work or something if youd like tomorrow

Friday still a plan?

Yes everything is cool

Everyone

Everything

Okay. Im glad. This was a wild amount of confusion

I apologize.. I really do not like being bringer of drama

Right

This is weird here

And much in my head, which is also weird

So no drama right lol

Jusr know that i do actually want you to tell me, dramatic or not

I love theatre, remember?? Lol

Ok

Will I addressed my step sons separately

I am paranoid, basically. But this is not what they said. I asked them if they were in any trouble ,(what I'm used to)

They are not

So I totally fabricated a freaky situation, detailed up there^^^^^^

All is peace full here

Duck me I never actually thought I was paranoid

Paranoid and prepared have the same amount of letters

That's my life rule

Thank you this is a really of moment for me

Odd

Moment

And remember, just because you're paranoid doesnt mean they arent out to get you too

That's kind of how i always think


Arrrrgh I can find no flaw in this

But I did achieve a thing

I did a bit of bonding,

And I am a stingy bastard with these guys

I am pretty confused rn

Not a bad problem to have an just saying

OMG I am a rambling fool


How are you

I'm sorry for the drama

Dont be sorry! I'm glad you're telling me things for once instead of me yammering on and on

I'm not really so great but hopefully it passes by morning

I hate how i feel now but all i can do is wait

Did you go anywhere beaides the parking lot at kroger?

Nope

I'm sorry you feel bad
Please don't really

I just learned a very important lesson

Please share

But also, you don't know how or what i feel like. Or why or anything

And I'm sorry for drama

Please don't be!

It makes me feel like less of an outsider to the common masses

Seriously I don't usually drama

I kmow i complain a lot and I'm sorry. Just as a ne perspective on me, being so fucked up for so ling really really sucks

Sorry, i was all sorts of disconnected and dissociated for like half the day. I think I'm finally coming back

It's really frightening to experience

Oops

Sorry sorry

If I dialed you

Huh?

Oh wow
You did

It didnt ring

Accident

Haha

No prob

I am in a weird place

Text is not the right medium

Tell me all you want

I can go upstairs

It's fine
I am wondering if I have pigeon-holed myself

Duck I cannot think straight

Seriously, im up.for the night

I need to quit alcohol for a bit. Starting now. Please feel empowered to remind me

Okay

Ty

Just alcohol?

No

Let's go sober

Me

Can you explain why?

Yes

I just had an experience like no other that I would call paranoia

And it could have been really highly

Because I cooked up a horror story that didn't exist

Okay

What else would you like to say?

Thank you

More:

I'm this moment I am ashamed

I don't actually need this

That is all, except thank you for listening

I'm serious about reminding me. A softball "hay remember, no stuff today!" Is probably sufficient

If you are willing

Okay, i can do that, I'm happy to

I actually dont drink exceot like once or twice a year

☺️

I'm not worried about that--i mean I am, because you are bit more fragile than most

I will not be jealous or whatever

I can abstain

Can you explain fragile and how that relates here in this comtext?

I just need to be reminded why I care to

And you are the absolute best reason why I should

An yes I can

You have borrowed organs

This strikes me as inherently risky. Of course it was necessary, that is not in question

I want you to be well

And suddenly I want me to be well too, where I didn't give a shit a month ago

I understand that mentality

I wish I could hoooooold you rn

You can in like 36 hours or something

Oh please let it be so

Did you get even a little close the other day? No is fine

The other day, like, hmm

Like that night

When got to fuck a few times

That one?

Me?

Ooh yes

I did

That's the one

Yes it was

Delightful

Do you recall what was happening when you were closest?

Yes I do

I'd love to hear it

It was one of the later sesh

I was on top of you,

And I was certain this would be the key for me

I asked you if you wanted me

Or maybe where

I don't remember

Do you?

I wanted so so so much

Do i want you. Yes. Probably too much of you

To cum in you

I wanttttttt you to cum in me. That's an always yes answer. I love it

I wanted you to tell me

And you did

I didnt want to pressure you

So fucking hot

It's ok

You can't pressure me kiddo

Imma fuck you all day and night off that's what it takes

I love the feeling if you being in the moment and needing all of me so carnally that you cant stop going faster in such an intense rhythm

Sweet baby are we on the same page lol

I want you to takkkkkkke me

Deal

Lay your claim

Deal

Fuckkkk yes

Naughty wicked girl

Dirty older boy

Lol

Tell you what

Help me get off alcohol, or at

Least back away down,

Yez

Will be better for both of us

Wanna know a (good) secret?

Yes plz

I'll explain this the only way i know how: youve been allll theyl way inside me. As in, hit the top

Were you aware?

That feeling is unreal

I did not know I bottomed out

Luckily

That is basically what you get from me

Maybe a stitch more sans beer

I'm really glad you liked it

That's a big reason i was weirdly positioned on top. I didnt know what would happen if i rested all the way on you

And i loved it

Oh you

You are invited to do whatever you like to there

Please duck me any way you like it

Ditto

I mean that

Yay!

I've never enjoyed such mutual invitations to duck. This is really enjoyable

And you, Missy

You

You

Nou lol

Fucking hot mouse

Mouse flambeau

Yw

Ok please help me remember this:

Remwmber what?

Last intoxicants 2 hours ago

I sleep now, and will be groggy AF in the morning

But this will pass

Thanks for hanging with me on this

You've hing in with me on plenty and i am happy to return the favor

You know where i live if you feel the need to bring by coffee lol

Sweet baby I got you

Thank you

Love
You

I will tell you something very sad but very true tomorrow

Love you too

Okay 👍

2024-09-26T06:14:24

Good morning to my favorite flavor

O hai!

How are you? 🙂

Sleepy lol

For sure. You dont start work for a while though so you could resleep

There might be a 20 minute power nap in my future

Efficient, lol

How would you feel about receiving a Scottish teddy bear? Not your tartan though

Girl, if that matters

I would love that!

For realsies?.

Yeah!
I still have my teddy from way back when

Im so glad!

I have a small selection of procured items for you now :)

Yay!

I am really embarrassed about yesterday

I got all worked up over nothing like a fucking drama queen

You dont need to be embarrassed

The mind wanders where it wants and recognizes patterned behavior. Jumping to any, all, and worst conclusions is natural and works well if you need to be prepared for the worst. It's a pre-defense

At least I didn't do anything truly stupid

Such as?

Cause a scene

I am still unwell-ish. No idea what to do about that :(

Scenes end, things escalate to their climax, there'sa denouement, then a reaolution. It's how a drama works

Do you want to tell me about your situation?

I can. Maybe you have a solution. We're talking about you right now though

Well the first step for me is to get un-fucked by alcohol and weed for a while

This will help matters tremendously

A play date would be a nice recovery therapy

Give me something else to focus on

Another puzzle piece:

When I finally got off the meeting call, I went to take a shower. I got short of breath in the shower... That does not happen to me ever

Anyway, I'm at a relative low here, and will be better soon

I'm glad you want to improve ;)

Were you short of breath because of anxiety?

I am wondering the same thing
I had just sprayed a mess doggo made, but that cleaner never set me off before

You're welcome to one of my inhalers

Or sniffibg vaporub or peppermint oil can help

I know lots of ways that are supposed to help unpanic you

What kind of gift bag do you want?

Thank you! I have a few inhalers (thankfully)

Now what kind of gift bag? What are my options?

Lots lol. When i see one i like, i get it

Excellent coworker today

null

Aww!

I officially have tomorrow after 12pm off

I also need to know your preferred shirt sizes, please. I'm aware this is unconventional.to ask

I usually choose xl fat a loose fit

So we're getting off at noon huh

Well, kind of lol

Getting on? Getting off? Hmm

Getting off work

So we can work to get off

You do have a way with words

It's the polylingualism

Bye, i can touch the tip of my nose with my tongue

Fun fact, right?

It sure is

Teach me your polylingual ways any time

You have your own skills already, sir

We can swap secrets

And cum

Oh fuck, that was lewd

Sorry!

Anyway, i hope you devour me in every sense

Hahaha I intend to

You lewd girlie you

It'll be lighter, even if i draw the blinds

Oh goodie!

Are you okay with me being about the same as last time, body-groom-etc-wise?

Oh yes, absolutely. Just please don't tear up your skin !

You are considerate

Haha, thanks

What if i decide to never remove any hair again?

Pfft

Hehe

That's not an answer!

That's the answer to the question, "what is the last sound a public hair hears before it hits the floor"

Damn public hairs

Lolol

But also..... IF i had any, they wouldn't make a sound

They'd stay stuck to the wax where they belong

But honestly i meant my legs mostly

Thighs, if that matters

Your creamy succulent thighs? Those ones?

Yep

Lol

And soft, downy fuzzes?

This is an ultimate stressor for me in all seriousness. Causes a ton of anxiety

I give you my assurance you will not yuck me no matter what. I love you smooth, but I do not require it that way

I thought i was kind of bristly

I thought you were creamy and delicious

Creamy is good?

I need actual words for how i taste, and if i can improve that over the course of 25 - 26 hours, wink-nod

I know you're probably thinking this is just more lip service from me, but whatever you did (or didn't do) was perfect

I didnt do a damn thing except be showered lol

You taste very delicate, quite exciting actually

I have no idea what that means

But I'm hlad

*glad

You realize you were all over my face right

I fucking loved that

I did not realize that

I actually had a lot of concern id be too dry for anything at all

Maybe you missed the part where I was licking you off my fingers too

OMG I am so wanting you

Same!!!!!

I did miss that part

It's also weirdly confusing but okay :)

You actually wanted to lick your fingerss???

Yes and I did so quite thoroughly

This is a whole new world to me

But hey, you could at least tell i was enjoying it all

Nothing makes me happier than to know that

So if someone made you use 10 words for what my face said at the finish line?

"wtf just happened"

"I think I just left my body"

Close?

Very

So you could see that

?

It was really likw i stopped existing for a second and then there was a puddle and i had no clue what had happened

Oh yeah you did mention puddle too
So freaking cool

Weird. Like, not something i controlled at all. Didnt even sense it was about to happen

Thank you for answering my incessant questions. It really helps

You seemed veritably wracked with pleasure. I'm looking forward to doing that again

Mmmmm

I might make you straddle my back and paw at me til it feela better again too lol

Want to hear something exciting?

Anytime!

And yes!

My house has all my toys and any games

Might have a new, semi related question

Is it about toys?

Lol predictive text suggested "tits" several times

Lol
You've had this phone for like a week and it knows you!

😅

I was going to ask the latest you'd want to come over/latest you'd want to stay til

My intention is to make a swift exit at noon. And I should probably leave by five

Sounds good

What are you up to right after work?

Or shortly thereafter?

You mean tomorrow, yeah?

I'm planning to pay my mistress a visit and fuck her brains out

You doing anything?

I meant today...

She sounds damn lucky

Oh lol

I dunno
I don't have a great story to leave the house with, but that might be irrelevant because the fam is at Toni's and they sometimes stay until 6 or 7

Gotcha

I also have a question

Yes?

If by stroke of bad luck hubby walks in, is my life in danger?

No. And he will be up north

I will be down South so I guess that works out

Lolllllllll

I'll explain that and all of that unbearable stress at some point

I was thinking of eating out when I'm down South.

I lovvvvvvvvvvve thst menu. I was going to go to town doing the same thing pretty much

I like the way you think

Does anything at a bookstore interest you?

And am i correct that you do not need to go to reotown this evening?

Actually, there's a place there you should check out sometime

I no longer have a connection to reotown, so there's that

Bookstore eh? Not so much

I dont know what your first statement means. Sounds heavy

It's not at all. The kids moved out of town a month ago

Out of reotown?

Yes

You know you can just go there as a normal member of the public....

I do occasionally. But there isn't much I'm interested in

Not even the record lounge?

I should go there sometime

Yes! And allllll the thrift stores lol

😊

null

Cute!

null

Same

In goblin mode today lol

Doing my best

Hey cutie!

null

And you really dont care what the house looks like?

I really don't

My house is a disaster

Here too

I ain't gonna judge

And the pets wont make you sick?

Well it's hard to take care of basically 3 people and 4 animals when no one else does a god damn thing

My only concern about pets is if we end up rolling around in heavy dander, I probably will have a reaction. Easily mitigated with a sheet/blanket, or just sticking to relatively safe surfaces

Hmm

3 people?

It's hard to explain over text and be thorough

I did say "basically' ... him, me, his sister

Ahh yeah, just curious

I am so sleepy

She has 647739916 problems if she has one, and i really cant explain 14 years of this without vocalizing it

Are you planning on showering here? I will not be scented, if that matters

Just determines how thoroughly i clean my cesspool of a shower

Hmm. I had not thought about that. Probably not necessary

Up to you

Don't worry about it

I can also give you nice biy smelling things

My wife smokes a pack+ a day. If that tells you anything

So.does my mother. Always has

Even when i was nothing but a clump of umbilical stem cells morphing into blastocysts

So you started early

Kind of

Never actually smoked anything

Good for you! Quitting cigarettes is the best thing I've done for myself in a long time

Not going back

Anyway I'd be surprised if she smells much. She soaks out smoke for hours on end

I'm far enough removed from it now that if I stand in the room where she smokes for literally one minute, my skin and clothes stink

I watched my brother chain smike an entire pack more than once

And eat an entire loaf of bread in one fell swoop

Youve seen part of his pic. Do you think we looked alike? Could you tell his height at all?

Also watched him pick up half a presmoked cigarette butt off the sidewalk say "oh fuck yeah a pall mall" and light it as he was walking away from class because he thought his teacher was dumb. I mean, they were but still

I have a related question next

Oh my
I did not think you look a lot alike but I will look again. No idea of his height

Tall

I have a demonstrative pic, i think

Him with his prom date

null

6'7"

Oh shit!

Yep

I am less than 5'5"

He weighs less in that pic than you do now

Have you ever seen skinny Rebecca?

Idk? You looked kinda skinny in that pic I saw of you at the bar. But that was just a head shot

Here are some.... and some are just because i liked them

There are chunks of years where there isnt a single photo though. Intentionally.

Anyway

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I am between 19 and 30 in them

Traveled some, lol

Wow thank you! You are such a cutie!

Is the pic with the butterflies in Argentina?

The answer is yes, and maybe

Border of Argentina, Brasil, and Paraguay

Iguazu national park

Ive travelled..... a bit. Lol

2024-09-26T17:53:32

Got a question

Wow I just hard napped for an hour. Whew!

I'm am dazed

I am so tired

Ready for that question?

I am ready

null

?

Is that where you sleep? It looks like days of fun!

With youuuuuuu

It is where i sleep

Where i am now

Where you'll be doing lots too me

So the mess isnt abhorrent enough to dissuade you as of that picture?

Hell no! It looks like a proper play room! I love it!

2024-09-26T23:37:29

Lol that's good because all i did was sleep this evening

Potential good news! Though it may just be neutral

2024-09-27T06:00:25

C'est le matin!!!

Oui!

Vous etes excite??

(Ca ce n'est pas quoi vous pensez, mdr)

Mais oui Bien sur!!

Alors, voila:

null

Oh la la. Je suis excité

null

Worthy tart

Love it

I see what you did there

Well, i fo like words lol

*do

And I'm right

Truth

Maid je ne sais pas les regles

And you ARE a worthy tart...

...i even quasi cleaned just for you

Tu es une souris chaude!

Souris?!?

Peut etre

Et je suis le chat

J'aike beaucoup la filme <>

Euh...
J'ai deja 3 chats....

Et je te mangerais

Voici une challenge: vous essayez m'emproiviser

(Sp?)

Merd

Quoi??

(Et c'est avec une e au fin)

Je peut rester sauvage si vous le voulez

Lol I've fucked myself into a French corner I can't get out of

Le choix, c'est pour vous

Lol

I speak english too

But so we're clear - no google translating here

Thank goddess

Oh I know you are legit

I'm standing against my half wall trying to motivate myself into the shower lol

You dont happen to know where the upstairs vacuum is, do you?

If you wanna wait I will join you

Someday

The upstairs vacuum is upstairs

But I'll still be wearing socks in thay shower

✔️

"Czech"

Lol

Okay, showering now and have a silly committment at 8ish. Will talk to you then bv i have no willpower against exciting distractions

Yay!

I just had the odd experience where a random event reminded me of a snippet of a dream. So weird how memory works. It's not even a profound scene, but the feeling it evokes is powerful

Shower now for me!

null

Ohhhh hello boobie I love you

I might have a semi-serious thing

I see from my need minder that I forgot my meds yesterday

*med-minder

The only issue of import is the effexor. The last time I skipped a day it cost me half a day of pretty bad vertigo. I'm praying that doesn't happen

Maybe more boobies is the answer

null

Sorry, gotta work l9l

I didnt even put makeup on yet

Except that red lipstick ;)

Anyway, I'll take my meds if you take yours

I took mine. I don't dare skip two days

You look pretty this morning too!

I do?

Duh

I have a very clingy assistant today

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😀

null

Yes, i work from my floor

null

You're really going to do some of the really good same things as last time??

Your hair's at least way better than mine!

I onlywashed mine this morning so it would be clean when you grab and pull it

Oh goodie! You bet I am going to do all the things. All of em. I can hardly wait. I can wait hardly.

Fuck I'm excited!

I need you to pick a pattern/print/color

Just using your thoughts and generic terms please

What clothes do you want me to start in?

Are stairs an issue?

Stairs are only an issue if you think you might lose your grip when I'm eating you out

Ambience....

I see purple, or indigo, or crimson, geometric pattern, softness, ... Not sure what else to say here

Clothes... Anything that provides the "accidental" possibility of a nip slip and or feel-up

I might show up in character

...a service call, if you will

Mmmmmm

Just an fyi, you can stay as late as you want

Pleasssssse wait for me to give you an okay today, ok?

What I can't just show up with a package for you?

Lol

I was going to install it and everything

I need a lof of seevjces

And servicing

Aaaaand i have a tiny set of stairs you actually COULD eat me out on.... we should maybe figure that out

Do you think you'll overflow me? Do i make a lot of mess?

Might need your help adding a blanket lol

I am a good domestic servant

Lol samesies

And I'm sometimes obedient

Maybe you could teach me

M' emproiblviser

Lol the brat teaching the brat

That should work out

Gotta be firm

But seriously, i want you in control

*of me

I have a couple more logistic-y things please

Sure np

You got the message that you can stay as late as you want?

Do you want lunch or what kind of drinks, snacksand stuff can i have on hand for you?

What color do you think i look best in?

Can i wear like 58 layers? Im cold lol. And i like when you take clothes off me

Will you be upset if i slam a quick adult drink right before you get here?

How are you doing with the noninebriating?

I got the message
Don't worry about food or anything
I'm going with green right now (forest, not Kelly)
Yes
No
Perfect. Nothing at all since I brought it up.

Thank youuuuu

You're welcome

Am i making you nervous?

I never intend to

You're fine babe

I'm am super easy to get along with

Yes

But the vibe changed

So i wondered if something was wrong

Wait what changed?

Are you talking about my terse text?

Yes

I'm literally just trying to be efficient and address your concerns quickly

Ok cool thanks

😊

Hypersensitive to environmental changes

Imma vibe you Missy

It's a thing

Lol maybe

With my mouth

😊

Watch me

Cant. My eyes roll back too far

😈

😛

But seriously, too much is lost in text. Please never assume the worst and please don't be afraid to ask for clarification

I have another request

I've been nothing but 100% honest with you

😊

Ditto

But i care about you, so i didn't know if there was something else bothering you from the homefront or anything

Fair! All is as well as normal, whatever that means, here

Comma challenges today

Cambridge ones lol

You have another?

Request, yes

 ​😂​ to “ Cambridge ones lol ” 

I want you to do what feels best for you, and whatever i can do to help that magical release, please let me know

Really. If you're in a groove and need to pound the fuck out of me til ny head bangs the wall then I'm cool with it. I have tylenol llol

Deal!

I will let you know when I know how you can help me get there

Actually looking forward to it

Me toooooo

Did i mention i LOVE the feeling of cum?

Hmm. You may have hinted at this

I have a thing to tell you as well

It's kinda funny to me but I feel like being sexually alone for so long has helped me understand how to be more vocal and guiding.

More expressive, and all in a good way of course

I'm not into violence

Maybe some name calling, as we have discussed

OMG do you play Wordle?

I do not

Why, may i ask, did violence make it into the discussion just now?

I just wanted to emphasize that as a reminder just in case me rattling on about being vocal created any doubt

I just did an amazing thing in Wordle

null

Solving in two is very uncommon

AND

there was this bizarre thing going on in my head

I played the first word... No significance to it other than it's a good starter

And I was humming a song in my head. The Cure "Other voices" from their album "FAITH", which I just listened to two nights ago

And then the answer snapped into my head.

Fucking word

Great work!

Are you telling me the vocal thing because you want me to be at ease or because you think i want violence and you're trying to f?discourage it*

*discourage

And i forget, "daddy" or never?

Don't overthink the violence thing. All I'm really trying to say is I think I've grown comfortable with being vocal

And yes you can call me Daddy if you like 😊

Okay

There are 2 things i dont like being called

And I'm decently okay with almost everything youd ever do, at least as i perceive you

Not to freak you out, but i guarantee i want "violence" more than you ever will

I am totally comfortable knowing we can work out these things together. I'm not opposed to getting physical. Maybe even rough. There's a line somewhere between rough and gross that I've honestly never even approached. I'm not worried about it. We'll deal with it

Okay :)

I will more than likely want that at a point

A discussion to have: what is "rough"? That's honestly something i dont know

I'm using rough as a lesser version of violent. I honestly don't know

To ground this in a reality I do know, I'm not going to hit you, maybe even if you ask.

This is a literal chat i want to have :) please

Sweet christ baby jesus these people are driving me insane

---people at my place of residence

Tell em to GTFO lol

You've got people to do

I can feel the effexor working at the base of my spine. I think I'm past the danger zone though

Well i have the worst fucking news

Besides maggie smoth ofc

*smith

I could not imagine being more infuriated and disappointed and sad and upset with so many expletives at the same time

This giant pile of ^=&×>*×^ have decided that 4pm is a better time for leaving today

I am so so so so so sorry

You are beyond welcome to be here then

I can also meet for lunch or coffee somewhere between like one and later if you want

Fuck it I'm taking meds too

😐

Quelle triste

I'm sorry babe!

No, iiiiiiiii am sad and sorry

I hate how thay family always gicks things up fore

*for me

*fucks

I will be happy to pick you up for a coffee date anyway

Sorry, typing really fast and thriugh a lot of fury

♥️

Know any dark alleys around afternoon time in lansing?

I only know them at night

Hehheh

Not even joking

At either of those

I know some quiet turn outs out of town!

I *might* know perfectish places for you to get glorious road head once dark hits

After 4 is impossible for you today, correct?

Yeah that gets pretty tight

I would literally suck you off as soon as the door closes if i could

I guess i might have kind of good news

Ok you let me know how and when to pick you up. We'll sort this out

What you got?

Weekend after next (12 & 13 i think)

Ohh ok!

Allllll weekend should be alone here

Fuck. I am so sorry about today

I even got myself babysmooth

And might be extra flavored

Upgraded l9o

*l9p

Jesus

L o l

Poor baby I am sorry!

It happens way too often

I will lament and bitch and moan and complain for days upon days about these people, and be completely justified in it

But hey, look at this!

null

They're way improved

Oh my goddess your boo boos! I miss them 😘😘😘😘

*KISS

fml

I miss you, too

See what i did there??

Did you have time/place for coffee? We can just postpone it all too

I'm headed out this afternoon for at least a bit, regardless

I will not hold either decisiom against you

Hey I'm free at noon so whatever works

I might actually do some of the shopping today that I was going to use as a reason to get out of the house, but there's no specific time I need to do that

Or hell, we can do it together. I was going to check out that record shop, among other things

No matter what, I do have something I want you to have.

Oh interesting

Something that can be given in public without jail time?

Yeah, totally family and work friendly

Have you ever been to Blue Owl coffee?

Actually no but I would like to!

Would you like to meet there in kind of a little bit?

Yeah no doubt!

Tell ya what. I am going to exit here and check out a nearby second hand shop I go to a lot to look for camera stuff

Hmu if you want me to pick you up or meet you anywhere whenever you are ready. Ok?

Sure thing! Where are you headed?

Anywhere you want , including your address

I am in the car baby

It's not really important for me to go to that shop, but I will to kill time as needed

Capitol (capital?) discount on old 27

Ive never been there but have been interested

I'll pick you up and take
Take you where you want
Any where you want
Anywhere you want
Anywhere you want
Anything you want

Fuckkkkkk

Stop being perfect

I will meet you somewhere at about 115

Ok?

Deal

Where do you waht to meet?

Choices to meet:

Reo town
Capitol Discount
MegaMall

Somewhere else of your choosing

Hey mega mall!I haven't been there in ages

Does that work?

Yes 👍

But apparently no one here has any time management skills

I'll be there... eventially

Ok just let me know where to find you

I just stepped into the MM

Where does one step in?

Literally their only entrance

Oops I am wrong place I will be there in 5

I can go elsewhere!

2024-09-27T19:15:37

You good?

Yep!

♥️

Thank you for a very enjoyable to if not a lascivious once

Word: day

Thank YOU! See? I can be fun outside of sheets too

But goddammit if i was a half a second from actually ripping your pants off on the stairs

Same
Same

Your pants? Yes, you should have encouraged me more. God i wanted to

Fwiw the record store was not only awesome in RL, it made a long and rambling, but very coherent story as well

For an alibi? Or just funsies?

FunZies mostly, but I also ramble like this in RL,so it's not acting

Ohhhh got it!

There's no way i can wait 2 more weeks

I feel you

Yes and that kind

I just have to get mildly creative

And sing you back to drown in more of me, lol

C'est excitè

Lol

I happen to not be busy tomorrow evening or sunday at all.....

Just putting that out there

You mind if i share random thoughts throughout the evening?

Please do!
I am intrigued

I think you give off magical pheromones or something

I stopped eating meat when you told me you were vegetarian. Unsure how much of it has been concious

The Princess Bride is a fantastic answer for favorite film. So is The Breakfast Club. Or Titanic. Or Babe. Maybe a few others

I reacted very poorly (for me, at/to me) after our first get together

I don't understand it a whole lot, but you are 1 of 4 in my list of mutual love yous

You taste like nothing. Literal nothing. It's strange but very very very welcome

I want to know more exciting things you've done and more of everything you want to do

That's some of my ruminants lol

OMG I want to be with you and talk for hours of these things

Same here

And then

Do you know "Monty Python and the Holy Grail"?

OFC!!!

We've also kind of had this discussion

Ofc lol

And then the oral sex etc and so on

Yes yes

There isn't really a way to explain this but I'll try

I do a decent job with some oral skills i have, it's always been expected and sometimes the better alternative. I've always felt obligated or kind of rudely encouraged

I actually WANT to do it for you, no strings attached, no expectation, i just want you to have it from me

Deserving, almost? But it's a good hygiene thing too

Which is.... kind of stunning to me that someone like you and your upkeep are possible, but here we are

That's a good thing

In case that was unclear

Thank you! Glad to know some things are simple lol

I appreciate and gladly accept your offer! You have certainly demonstrated your excellent skills. I also appreciate that you offer it. I cannot imagine demanding it. That's just not in me. Maybe I would ask. But not demand.

This has reminded me of a band chum I lost track of around 1989. I need your help with a vocab word please: adj : person who has no particular gender preference of a sex partner, and has only one-partner relationships.

Sorry was of text!!!!

WALL!!!

Never too much!

The most up to date term is probably omni-sexual (was pan-sexual for a while), monogamous and nonbinary, multi-oriented, encompass some of that

Or are they uninterested? That would be asexual

Or Acr

*ace

Well that was him to a t. Lovely guy. My also knew his mum via. Msu and they were like minded people.

Ase (depending on grammatical preference)

You said muk

My dad ..oopS

*mum

I say mum

What brings them up?

I use mum a lot. Also Mom. For literal moms

I also say Mommy when I want a boobie

Idk why I thought of the old boy. Something you asked

Oh yeah--the offer. Very kind

He spoke this way about two people he really liked, at different times. Three, actually lol

Offer?

Spoke what way?

This one

Oh. I don't really think of that as an offer

Fair.

A girl in the band--Meredith, an (actually demure) blonde *flute player* was the object of his desire at a time. He would proposition her on the practice field in marching band practice lol

They are both super intellectual and nice people. It was really hilarious

Are you clear why i dont think of it as an offer?

Ok ok let my study and reset

I broke my sobriety, all ways, fyi

How do you feel about it?

Ok
I am trying to keep it medium and I do know my plan fr which I will come back to to

I appreciate you telling me

I took the notion of "WANT" AND TURNED oops that into you are offering

Im not disappointed or sad or mad or anything negative at you, if that was a concern

Okty

Is that it for your explanatiom?

Yes actually

Okay, thanks

You're incorrect in a weird way, i think

And also correct

I want to and i also have already and i intend to again

Offer is kind of a level before all of those, i guess?

It's better than and beyond an offer

Stipulated

But not in a bad way

Would engaging in that when you were leaving have crossed a line?

No, it would not. Ty for the above--this is sinking in, if slowly. I do understand. I'm kind of amazed I fit the right needs.. albeit not completely yet

Aw well fuck. I didnt want to cross a line so i didnt even try. We need a code!

I am kind of a pussy

That was ME in this situation

I'm kind of helpless and incredibly gullible too

Yeah no, again, that's ME

I would not have understood

These days, there's little more than a Down-Down needed to humiliate me

Or just expose me

Je ne le comprens

So you click the shorts, yeah, and click down and down again to drop 'em to the floor! 500 points!

With opportunity for really big bonuses

I do like cream filling

But you used the word "humiliate"

So shall you have it lol

I did use a word, I'm not ¿Sure I actually meant, but I'm not sure

To me it meant to embarrass in a negative way

Possibly shameful

I mean if you randomly dropped my shots I would be surprised, maybe embarrassed for a moment, then sucked in as it were

That's all

This would have been realllllllly beneficial information loo

*lol

Ohhghg

Loooooookie loo here

Roman shades

I do realize I could use a little reprogramming. I've learned to be very self-sufficient over many years. I'm not incapable of change though

That's beyond excellent

And very similar

And i really would have fucked in your car

Or here

I am 100% serious there is a very reasonable chance we can do that, or car-adjacent, out of town. places I have visited many times over the years

We can have a picnic of the other

With

For the same purposes?

You wanna fuck outside, on a binkie,innice grass, in a secluded place? Hell yeah

I know

Where

Times 10 prolly

Omg yesssssss

Bugs tho just sayin

But amazeballs fun

Thrilling even

Is there a question that would be too awkward?

At this point I don't believe that is possible

Why not?

I have answered 100x level questions from you that no one has even approached with me, and I've given you my honest, unpolished answer every time.

I realize that's "my opinion" at some level but it's true

Yes

And i beyond appreciate that

Just wondered why. Maybe there's something you'd never think up

So i can ask?

Yes ofc!

Did I ever insert anything in my butt?




Bum bum bum lol

Actually, kind of

You are the only guy I've ever intimately met who hasnt mentioned inserting anything into either of our bums

Please present any and all views, explanations, etc

Why yes, yes I did. A few times. I tried to make it fun, but it wasn't. Might try again later.

And any other experiences of yours, if youd like

Why wasn't it fun?

Only in my own, in case that isn't clear

I don't really have anything else

Just never turned me on. Distracted my senses to the wrong place I guess. Didn't hate it, but did not care about it at all.

Were you never inclined to try on/to/with/in a partner or not allowed/encouraged?

Exactly once I was inclined to try. Choose not to. I have never had the discussion with anyone (until now obv). Probably would not have worked out well

With that person you mean?

That person, in that moment, yes

Besides, I like pussy so much, I don't miss anything

Fuucccckkkkkkk

Hell yeah. Pussy power is underrated

And I mean it's rated highly

Not enough

Can you tell what's happening based on how i taste? Do i change during?

I did not notice a change in your taste

It was faint--i said delicate before. I stand by that

Not nothing. Very delicate. Very nice, I will add

Thank you

Ofc

You taste good to me

You saying all of these amazingly nice things make me want to give you evvvvvvverything you ever want

This next one migjt be an unpleasant query

Pffffff

I'm imagining you've experienced, erm, not as smooth as i sometimes am. How does that work? Any of it. Your thoughts and opinions? Any and all kinds of sexual activity

If it helps, it's literally impossible for me to ever get to a point even kind of close to that

Side note: habing a drink or several now

Ah, busy reading your new book now i see.... lol

Lol

Ive been imagining way too many good things over here

Can you say more about "not as smooth" please?

Fml I forgot the gloves. I think they will fit you

Saskwatch-ish lol

Those women who might be unfamiliar with waxing, shaving, and other depilatory means

Fml I also forgot to check the size of my hot goo injector thingy

Youll live

And at no time did I think to apologize if my car smells like smoke. I do not smoke in my car anymore, but other people do

It does nor

I would tell you

My goo injector

Do you think it's really ok?

Yes?

It's practically brand new

Why would you think it's not okay?

And I'm headed to a place tomorrow you may or may not find interesting. It's new to me but looks kinda fun. If not, i guess i leave

But still, more questions i have!

I asked you first :p

Nope. Upscroll!

Dammit!

Ok

I've never been intimate with a super hairy girl, but I've known some and I found them quite hot

I have no prob with natch, whatever that means

C'mon really?

I think you're serious

Yes ofc

I adore smooth baby too, don't get me wrong

Two things can be true

Everything you say and do is mindblowing

Do you know why i am how i am?

Smoith-wise

You said wax iianm

Yes, but why i ended up that route

I did not, then

My glue sticks are too small lol

Long story short, i was the talk of a boyfriend's froend group for having too much hair. I shaved, whatever, still didn't end up doing much with him but that's kind of a different story. Kind of.

Anyway, someone i actually slept with thought it would be nice for me to get waxed and a couple other spa type things. The next time we did stuff was super slippery and weird to me, but i digress. He made it a constant point to tell me how much he hayef hair but loved me smooth and no other girls he'd been with had "70s porn star bush" and didnt i like it better and blahblahblah

Cut to now

This is why I hate boys

It is what it is

Kind of how an upbringing of nonstop diets and remarks about weight can almost kill your teenager a bunch of times over

null

A new sleepover pal you got today

??

Proper Manchester lad. Learn some manners dear girl.

I'll wait

Terribly sorry, m'lordship, sir

Thought Master Smith hisself migjt want to remain Modest

*Mouster Smiths

Lol

😛

I long for your passion

Ditto

Hey, ever see Ghost.?

You are such a brat

But fuck me I cannot get enough of you

Ues, good, see above

Ghost, like Whoopie right?

Morw like Demi & Patrick, but yes

Fml.
I am actually not even good at film recall

Swaaaayzr yeah

Familiar with imdb?

I asked you about trailer park boys, right? I think you said sorta tangentially?

Imbd yah fer sher

Lol I'm getting close to your level of happyiah

But anyway

Yes yes I am ready for you now. Take me

Always

Which is in common with ditto

Hope you like the puzzle lol

They're both single line movie quotes

They can mean anything

Between characters, they mean "i love you"

Im getting drunk and really wish you were here

I am so envious of you in your soft plushy castle

I am literally in my unfinished basement rn

Haha

I thought of a material object I would be ecstatic to receive. Are you curious, or would like to make a guess

Wrong answers only

A light ulb b unshatterable glass and a flared base with a complimentady bottle of baby oil?

Close. It's not this: small tube -like container for these fine stands of copper that served me well in the small wood project

null

Do you have it?

The thing I desire is probably more costly

Did i ask a price point?

And holy fuck i want to tell you so much en

*rn

No, I'm telling you what to expect

Im ready

For all of it

Yes

Btw I just put 3.785 liters in a cat. Vat. Car. Bar. You choose

I have legit no idea

<<

Should i call the aspca?

I do not need any more interaction

You should not be driving in canada right now

With them

The vatican rejects your interaction

That leaves me with bar

Unfortunate. Those liters and you should be in me

You do have a way with words

Linguist

Professionally educated

Yes yes

Linnnnngual, ammitite

Lllllllllllingualllllll

Gotta get the L along the shaft

Swirl at the top

Back down again

And be sure you relax your soft palate so your throat opens better

Dont be afraid to salivate a little too much

Maybe we should try that 69 thing you've talked about

Wanna hear what else we should do?

Oh, but you were telling me about cat vat car bars

Oh no noo mooo. Noooo moo moo please go on

You

null

Ama

Ama?

Yes, id tap that

But you were saying something

I decided something maybe you could do for me right now

I asked once before too, and you obliged

Plus im kind of mapping out something perfect with you in my mind

There are like 7 things or more i came up with that I'm curious about us trying too

That list keeps growing

But are you serious you absolutely will not do some things?

Hmm
Yes, you are

How many fingers have you had in me at ome time?

Fuck i want you

Im in the "wanting slow, sensual, passionate lovemaking" memtality at this moment. I see it with you. Every millimeter of youslowly sliding in, heartachingly cautious as you look into my eyes, take a brief pause, and ask if I'm sure and if I'm ready. I almost cry, or maybe i do. I hear my heart thump in my ears until youbstart going again but you havent gotten all the way in yet. I breathe in slowly but markedly as you make sure I'm full, then you kiss my face as i exhale and you get into a very slow rhythm. I feel you in and out, over and over again, and the intensity is overwhelming in the best way as the weight of you and the thrill and newness and realization of this all hits me and i start ramping up with you, getting ready to explode into release ive never felt before. My sounds are gutteral and musical and twinged with longing you didn't know was possible and ecstasy i didnt know could be there

It's more words than I'll ever say and it's none and it's racing thoughts and quiet ones and everything that's ever existed and i feel calm

Sorry but fuck I just kicked a cat by accident

She's ok but fuck

Should you check on her?

null

Literally on my knees

My Rama witnessed it he was a little unsure wtf

What happens now?

And walked past me a few times and flicked her tail on me. I think she is ok but still processing

Fml *she walked past me and gave good feedback, then walked off

I will check on her rn

She seems fine. She has a tough persona as well. Very odd girl. And I am not making fun of light of this. Her female character is nothing I have seen before in cats or people. She is extremely cool. I probably forgot to mention she is Nitya's baby. We are babysitting for prob all winter. I'm am actually thrilled

She has come to visit me several times now. I think we're ok


Fml drama is not really my thing I swear!

In case you were still wondering, I am pretty sure my shortness of breath scene was most likely seasonal allergies exacerbated by the cleaner in my not so well ventilated room. This is about my worst time of year for pollens

Sigh

I've got A fucking hot mouse over here and I can't fuck her wtaf

That's quite the statement

I approve this message lol

So ooooooo

Yes?

What was your question!

I got blown

No

Yes

No

Anyway

I'm back

You were blown when and how, now?

Blown off course. I'm sure you have ready access to OED

Yes

I'm unsure if you read that message of mine or not

That one. No, and I do apologize, the whole cat thing really tilted my pinball, if you get me.

So if you don't mind, remind me?

Remind you of what was in the message?

That message of mine, as you call it

null

null

Im in the "wanting slow, sensual, passionate lovemaking" memtality at this moment. I see it with you. Every millimeter of youslowly sliding in, heartachingly cautious as you look into my eyes, take a brief pause, and ask if I'm sure and if I'm ready. I almost cry, or maybe i do. I hear my heart thump in my ears until youbstart going again but you havent gotten all the way in yet. I breathe in slowly but markedly as you make sure I'm full, then you kiss my face as i exhale and you get into a very slow rhythm. I feel you in and out, over and over again, and the intensity is overwhelming in the best way as the weight of you and the thrill and newness and realization of this all hits me and i start ramping up with you, getting ready to explode into release ive never felt before. My sounds are gutteral and musical and twinged with longing you didn't know was possible and ecstasy i didnt know could be there

In your earth language

It's more words than I'll ever say and it's none and it's racing thoughts and quiet ones and everything that's ever existed and i feel calm

Ooooooh she's ready lol

Ok reviewing now

O
M
G

My sweet baby

You are in my head I don't know how you do it

I want you this way

All day

Always

This is how I love

I want you this way more than i have wanted so much of anything

It is the best, IMO

Then you know it only exists in my imagination so far

I am like drooling stupid

So awestruck

What makes you awestruck?

You just wrote my sexual fantasy

The one I want every day

I know I have proof to deliver, and you cannot know how all this is so

I am absolutely serious

There is a difference between getting off, and getting lost

At some point, you hover above me and look at me again while you can't help but stop and cradle the back of my head with your hand, starting at the top of my neck, you reach me up to your lips for the best and most quiversome kiss youve had in your life and i struggle to make my lips meet yours because of the lack of control i feel ocer myself since id alreacy given it all up to you

After we reconnect and you gently place my head back on the pillow you finally see it

You should write stories. Write my story

You'll feel it too

I have , in a way. Perhaps

What is it you felt?

Did you forget? I will tell you again nbd

I did not forget

But i like hearing it

Reminds me you're real

I will say it another way then

When you were, I guess for the first time riding a guy?

I spent a lot of time understanding your pussy on me. So tight and yet so willing.

I encouraged you to take what you wanted

I don't know if you remember this?

Mostly, yes

And you said eventually you thought you felt me relax

Yes that's right

You did relax in a very specific way, closest to your cervix actually. Did you realize that?

I did not realize that

It was amazing. Never been there before

Yeah it was super clear to me

It wasn't voluntary

And you lubricated as well

Fucking amazing

What I'm saying is that YOU made that happen

Amazing fucking, even. 10/10 will do again

I dont know a better way to say this: did i do what i was supposed to?

I kind of thought i was supposed to bounce up and down or something but i dont habe that kind of muscle strength

null

Let me address girl on top

One moment

When I was a kid, my parents (not squishy people, but smart and supportive) had this seminal hippie lifestyle catalog

And in that rather hefty time, there were maybe 3 pages of stuff for adults who like awesome consensual sex

I really liked those pages

One material exercerpt they they featured was a passage about the woman on top

It was fascinating to a6th grader let me tell you

I did not even know the thing in real life until I was prolly 17

It's fun for the guy, but the girl gets to drive right

Get what you want

And whenever you want, it's totally fine and encouraged to call the next shot... How do you wanna go next?

Or go nuts !

And fall asleep right on me

Get. It. All.

Oh i honestly could have fallen asleep on you

And i know i told you i had only actually ever sleep slept with one person

I have something else i wasnt really sure about til today

And then what will seem like a random statement but i don't think it's common knowledge

null

I am kinda sad about the sleeping. It's a really good bonding thing as long as both are happy

And I was ready

Really

Profoundly happy to envelope you and hold you

I hope you dont take this poorly: i didn't know you were telling the truth

This is weird and has taken me until right now to figure out and I'm piecing it together

You are the only time, ever, that anything or any part or anyone has not had me hurt after having been in me

I really fucking hurt right now and i think it's for a few reasons but famn if wednesday didnt suck and I'm still feeling it

I am sooooo done with this body

Did you know that SA is sometimes the worst physical pain imaginable and sometimes feels like nothing?

Sorry

I know everyone's name too. First and last.

Whew

Sorry

It's okay 🙂

There is a lot here

And I want to know it all

Not all at once

Are you aware that it doesnt ever seem like a lot to me? I dont think that really registers

Why are you hurting now?

Now

But it also feels like that's all i am is a combination of a binch of abuses

Because i had my annual gyn appt on Wednesday

There's just nothing that helps anymore

There are a lot of things that have happened to me that i will also never know but it doesnt mean my body doesn't remember them, if that makes sense

Sorry I've been out recording a drug transaction a couple doors up the street

Should you be doing that? Is it safe?

So far yeah it's been safe. I told some idiot a year ago idgaf why you're here but ffs turn that shit off and don't draw attention to yourself

He (young buck) asked me not to call the cops "and shit"

Prick

Anyhow they're dog killers over there

Duck em

Horrible people

Tell me about your gyn please

What is wrong?

What do you mean?

Why are you hurting RN?

I just want to understand

You're familiar with what a speculum is?

They always try what they think will work best and end up using literally the smallest there is

Because they use the smallest one but i am.l permanently set to hypervigilance after so much trauma, it's hard for them to get the swab they need. Basically i hold everything really high and internal to protect from more injury

And so all of that hurts for a bit. They also usually have to numb me to get the equipment to be usable, which hurts to get and then the numbness wears off and i feel any remaining pain

And my body recognizes that similar pain and i freak out a little in my body without actually panicking in my brain but there are some parts of me that i know have been traumatized and in pain before from SA and my whole body feela awful because it's like a lifetime of tension picks back up in just a day or 2 back to 30 years of it

Goddamn

What part?

Also, it is, to me, the most humiliating thing in the world to have people and even strangers know really ultra intimate details of what must have happened based on literal physical presentation and evidence especially when you yourself dont know or remember or you didnt want them to know but they ask anyway

That ceeling is the epitome of wanting to shrink down into yourself and die

First, hugs for you ((♥️))

There is nothing in my life experience that helps me understand this--the why part

I understand what you are saying but it's not adjacent to any thing I know

It makes me profoundly sad

It also makes me profoundly happy that you would share this with me

I care deeply for your feelings and your person

Kinda broken here--but I knew this is exactly where this was going.

Please let me know what I can do to help. I love loving you and loving on you-not because you were vulnerable, but in spite of it

I wish I could erase all the shit. I cannot, but I truly wish I could

And I understand it hurts on multiple levels

We have so, so much work to do

I don't understand how you trust anyone...?

Fml I hate to complain about me but I just got accused of the lamest middle school shit by my wife. Already written off

Swas=service with a smile. Quick Fab for her and I am out of this room

Please let me know if you're ok when you are able. ♥️

2024-09-28T03:48:59

You are the only time, ever, that anything or any part or anyone has not had me hurt after having been in me





You wrote that earlier. Can you say more?

2024-09-28T08:17:25

Hi :)

Good morning

I fell asleep

You said a lot and i appreciate every word

The trust aspect is a little bit hard to explain. The short answer is that i don't but i also keep an absird amount of control tucked away in my head. It's really, really dark though so you'll need to tell me if you want the words

That last but, the one you wanted me to say more about... boys and men and a couple women and medical professionals have had digits, dicks, equipment, whatever else inside me, in therrrrrrre. I always physically hurt or at least feel really uncomfortable during or right after or the next day or for a few days later. That did not happen with you. At all.

2024-09-28T09:42:30

What was the 7th grade nonsense?

Might need you to co.w snap my neck. It frigging hurts

*come snap

Good morning!

Thank you for all your words too !

I honestly do not remember what the nonsense was. I legit recycled that trash on the spot. I might recall it later

I also want to allow for getting my fee-fees hurt while I'm drunk might be a me problem. But I'm pretty sure there was some foolishness there

I need more deuga for this today lol

*drugs

Are you hurting still

2024-09-28T13:03:39

Very much, but my whole body hurts sooooo much

Ive been with my mother all day

null

She has taken over you!

2024-09-28T15:09:43

Omg dude I'm still out with her

Poor baby!

It's been nonstop walk & shop....

And no caloric or hydration intake

2024-09-28T16:45:12

Finally seated :)

How's your day?

Oh my you poor thing

My day is ok. I've done some organizing of my hobby bench in the basement and decided I need to get a metal shelf to make other organizing possible, including in my office. So I've been shopping a bit myself... With the keyboard lol

Love keyboard shopping!

I am finally home. She left. I am somehow supposed to feed and water myself for the first time after what was basically 9 hours of thrift shopping. Cool stuff, yes, but holy fuck i hurt. Not so much as a tylenol

When can we get high and fuck?

And if i happen to be ultra broken down right now, what would your plan be for me for the evening?

null

null

What it is?

Powerpuff girl pillow (bubbles), turned backward

Why is she in time out?

Lol I started doing that because the car hair made it look like she had a beard

Hey I'm omw to Kroger you need anything?

You lol

And a bucket of morphine

I can start my own line

Why you headed to kroger?

Beer and chips, chips, and more chips. One of these items is for me

Chips as in crisps or fries?

I can shop with if you really want. Be forewarned i look less than good

Crisps, and corn chips. I done the Brits have a. Concept of corn chips

I already here, won't be more than 5-10 minutes

Very sad but i hope you enjoy the trip

I think they just call them fritos

Literally translates to "fried"

More of the stout?

Do you happen to want a soft sided guinness cooler?

Hmm! Maybe!

Happened to procure one today at a weird but cool place

I have guinness glasses, shit glasses, and s&p shakers. And tin art

* shot glasses

Hope that was clear lol

I would lovelovelove to chat later. Please.

Nothing bad :)

Haha stay tuned!

null

null

Like a puffy tote almost

I got my ballot in the mail! I've never been so excited to vote lol

I also got A final demand for payment from the imbeciles at a local rehab clinic. I'm going to have a little chat with them about how dangerously incompetent they are.

That's a cool chill bag!

It can be yours.... I'm never offended if you decline. It's new, if that matters

Rehab. I'm interested in les incompetents

Great job eith the ballot!!

So how do i get to feeling better? Seriously, and please

What are you doing now? Take me through your day!

null

Oh, and Bubbles

Can you squosh your faces and kiss? Lol

null

It's adorable!

So then?

😂

You have like 10 things to which to respond!

Gosh

I actually got out of bed around half ten.

Coffee, and do word puzzles on couch. 1st visit from Xana

Oh

And exchange morning salutations with my mistress

Very fine girl. Very fond of her

Weird. She probably loves you or whatever

Possibly half sleep 30 minutes just before noon. Coffee. Couch and cat again. Rama decides he wants a piece, Xana exits. Rama is unapologetic about booting other cats off me. He usually just nudges them out

Sorry long station break

Can you tell me what that means please?

Call mother to wish her happy bday

Yes, good!

So Long Station Break means you'll be nonresponsive for a bit?

Back in old school TV and maybe radio too, broadcast often paused in late hours. I think it was referred to as a station break

I actually had to ditch the phone for a minute that turned into 15

Unplanned

Yes yes yes

I kind of know that, thanks :)

So is it past or future tense usually?

I think it's supposed to be announced. FCC is pretty strict. So I kinda would get dinged there

I should have sent whatever I had (which was a lot). It would have been clear it was incomplete.

It may not have been clear the drug deal next door bad and I got

Jk

Nothing happened

How are you? I didn't say

Oh, mother was away from phone so I left a message. Return to word puzzles. Still with cat.

Mother returns call. We talk for 50 minutes

Ah, gotcha

She is well, doing water color classes again

Teaching them?

Taking them

Learned new techniques

You saw her site yeah?

Yes, I did

I love me mum she is an amazing woman

I like yer mum on the interwebs from afar

Quicm interruption permission??

Que?

Quick, vite, pronto

Ofc!

Da, spasiba

🇷🇺

Nice knowing you

Jk

So what should i do to feel better this evening?

Your mum interrupted that thought earlier, lop

*lol

Oh me grande mum. Turns out her birthday WAS yesterday, so this is twice I've fucked this up. Have taken steps to prevent errors in the future


Ok now for you my fine dear lady

You wish to feel better

Yesssszssss

Is there a kind of better that exists that you are aware of!

?

What is your pain level rn?

null

You were born on a Tuesday?

null

I was born on a Tuesday! How did you know!

Pain levels are really hard for me to asses ans convey. I have symptoms if thay helps?

Drake is lovely

What was i to notice?

The calendar is as you have noticed, for the month of my appearance!

Do you know where this actual specimen came from?

Of course not I should expect

I don't know

Zero clues

A local garden gazebo merchant?

Lol

It was in my house when I bought it

Taped or something to the back of a giant picture wall hanging

It is in my office now

Fantastic!

On that whiteboard behind me

My mom noticed it lol
But I digress





Tell me your symptoms please!

That's amazing

Drake was a lovely boy ty

These are common when I'm in pain, not sure about other people

I hum constantly, without noticing

My jaw gets ultra clenched so much that it hirts andbi have to rub my mandible with my hands and go get the bite block the dentist made me after i kept breaking crowns from just holding in stress and pain and etc

I cant really move but also cant stop moving

I stay hyperactive but zombie like. So I'll be doing a lot on autopilot and just glazed staring ahead

I dont eat or drink and meds seem stupid

Maybe more? But I've been doing all that all day. My mother's interaction is now becoming baffling to me, so that's a nice bonus

Mother is with you?

No. She left at 5 or 6

Wanna know something funny?

That spouse of mine who ruins my plans and crushes so much more? I havent seen him since last night

Is he expected back home?

He has been home this entire time

After maybe 7pm yesterday

I think i am sad too

But anyway, i have lots of meds and havent taken them. I have alcohol, i have some gummies a coworker made

I just dont know what to do to feel better rn

Nice coworker!

Coworker knows enough about me lol

You should take the meds you should, ok? Any compulsory items, ok?

Yes, and will,and mostly have been

Does a warm bubbly bath sound good?

I'm wondering what extra meds. I want them all and i want none

And yes but not a possibility

Whyyyyy?

Because the tub is not in my bathroom and i wont go near his bathroom without a basic hazmat suit, then i would have to clean it and then it would be hoursssss later

Well poop.

I also cant tell if heat will help or not

Xanax
Ativan
Tylenol 3
Oxycodone
Norco
Methosomething thats a muscle relaxer
Promethazine
Gabapentin

That's what i can think of right now that i have that maybe will help and maybe not

Mostly back pain, sometimes into my riba or my chest, and my joints. But i hurt everywhere all the time

If any of that helps

Honestly i want to chew a few mummies and lay back and have you hold me and fall asleep to very soft kisses in perfect warm arms

You deserve this option

Put your teddies around you they love you too ♥️

You think i have teddies?

Stuffies I mean!

Teddys

Lol

I know, i just dont have actual bears :)

So I'm still cleaning. If i take the drugs i think I'll need to stop

I kinda have a new thing. Youre basically a doctor, right?

Why cant i swallow right right now??

Im sitting now. Mildly better

I am a doctor inasmuch as Smaug is a dragon.

Dream it, try it, do it?

You have trouble swallowing?

Right now i am. Only sometimea and randomly. It's gross but not really a huge problem, only irritating

Is it just the conscious act of swallowing because you're thinking about it? Or if you casually take a drink you can't swallow it?

Fun fact: I can't blow my nose properly since effexor about half the time

I can mostly swallow, i can't really keep swallowing. So it's like my stomach or my esophagus are unaccepting of whatever i try and intake and i just get a swirling regurgitation of food and foam. Not stomach acid or anything, just whatever my innards feel like they dont have space for i guess so eventually i get frustrated of trying and i keep spitting out the foam and whatever. I feel like maybe its a remnant from earlier in life but it's also different

Kind of what i imagine sporadic strictures would be. I can explain how previous me would have affected this if you need

How does one not blow their nose?

Normally, we do something to force air through the nose

For whatever reason, I can't exactly control that thing any more

Only in a forced exhale

Huh. Interesting. Can you sneeze?

Yeah. Been sneezing today lol

Speaking of which, my shortness of breath I have determined was just likely allergy effects exacerbated by cleaner spray. This time of year is usually one of my more sensitive wrt allergies

I order words good

Your mouth does lots of things well!

And you did tell me, yes

Are you upset with me?

No not at all

Okay

Pretty buzzed.

Btw, I will be returning to my "no work night" abstinence schedule, starting tomorrow. I have been successful at this a couple times, for a substantial duration

That said, I still do not understand what is eating you

??

Mange mange mange

What do you mean? Il n'y a rien que me menage

Lol

What disquiets you? Why unhappy/uncomfortable?

This moment or in general or...?

Rn

I'll try and explain. The ideas are always there but mo4e pronounced when they're freshly stung. It's like theyre a news ticker but none of the stories are ever new

One is the physical pain i have

Another is how much i want to do something but am constrained. Like, i wanted you yesterday and today and more. I really want to get buzzed and get high and talk for hours and be physical. It isn't anywhere within my control (continuing)

I don't understand why those constraining me intentionally cage me and then leave me to myself. And i dont understand why i dont have like or love or anything given to me, esp when I'm forced to not be around anyone else but also not experiencing any closeness with anyone else. And i cant clean or cook or chill or do anything

That sounds silly. But it's true

It doesn't sound silly. I understand

I haaaaaaaaaaate the mess here but have to be quiet to clean it and I'm only one person

It kind of slapped me in the face tonight: why don't they care? I just dont get it. It is an awful feeling

I dont feel like a person anymore

This is a new realization, you're the first to hear it

I applaud you. Not even joking

Clarity is a gift

Do you know what i feel like i am though?

Maybe. I will not say though. tell me

I am typing. Please tell me your thoughts

Uplifting or no?

Either

As if lol

Both

Good choice

Failure

Insufficient

Undeserving

I feel like a collection of traumas and an exhibit of what can happen as a result. I feel like I'm absorbent for ick so that it doesn't get all over everyone else. I feel like there is no purpose other than to see how far the universe can push

But.... i never did anything to deserve it. Actually did a lot of extra good to go against my own negative experiences

I feel like there's no way all of this could be true

Let's start at the end of that

Many things can be true at once yada yada

You are correct. You did not earn this.

But it keeps happening ir happened or whatever even though i did was i was supposed to and succeeded and functioned and gave happy outer appearances anr all that

You have been treated like a disposable person. it runs in your family

I could be so, so much more abnormal

How do you know that

Ofc it could be worse

But

You are strong, in fact. You chose to push back

You did not always feel empowered

And still not

I never pushed back

But you are intelligent

You are able to stand your ground

Well that's not true. I tried to push back a lot and it never works

You and i do not see eye to eye right now

Ok I might be going off script a bit I apologize

No you're okat

I just.... i dont fight back

The day we met

?

You barraged me with facts. They were all impressive--every single one. But why?

My answer is a few reasons. To impress you. To prove to myself I'm more than nothing. Because there's always too much going on in my head so i had to let some of it out

You are exceptionally intelligent and articulate. Did you know that?

And it does impress me, so ty for showing off! These goodies are too good to keep to yourself

I know that but i also don't. It's very rarely that anyone appreciates or recognizes that everything (to me) is connected

And i was raised that you could be smart or pretty, and i did one a whole lot better than the other

I have something that i dont know if you have any awareness of

You has a something?

It'll probably lead to more history. Still want to know

Yes ofc

Obv my mother walked in on my brother on me. I told you. We can go more into memories of that later (not graphic unless you want them, just thoughts and wtf realizations)

She does not know about any SA experiences of mine. Well, not really. One much much milder thing from when i was 18 but i didnt know she knew until i found out last year

So, what im saying, is that she does not know SA and i are "familiar"

She just doesnt know any ever happened

I see. Thank you, I am going to contemplate this

There's more that may add

Will add

Did you know that actually you can be smart, and pretty, and be respected?

No

Do you know this now?

Not quite

I am trying

Do you wabt me to say more about what you're contemplating?

Not yet

Huh. Okay

Not yet

??

Something something How we learn

Any hoo

Are you ok?

Not really

I'm not being an ass

I hope

I cannot see you

Not at all! Why would you think you would be?

It's hard to know if my questions are ok

Oh. Yes. Anything at all you ask is okay

I am going somewhere fwiw

Lol

Ok

There are lots i want you to ask, btw

Did you know that actually you can be smart, and pretty, and be respected?

So about that

And yet, you are in fact and all these things

At the same time

Right now

By 1 person

Better than zero as amiright

The information is still settling in. Being very sincere

And honestly expecting the other showle to srop

*shoe

As a forewarning, i am feeling very open rn and may just blurt things out

You know 2 of the 8 now, right? The ones i count

Actually no. You mentioned the numbers, but I have forgotten the things they are attached to. You have a few such cyphers.

Idk anything of shoes.

Oh wait

I love yous?

No, you're only the 4th mutual i love you

Oops

8 is the "bad" SAs i count

Offenders

Not times

So, you know 2 stories, right?

Theyre also kind of the same story for a bit

I am trying to ascertain if I've told you more than that in any detail

Ok ok I think I am up to speed

I think 2 is the number so far

But idk always what qualifies.

As a strong among the eight

*story

Right now i was just trying to figure out what actual facts and things you know about any i "count"

"Counted " in the 8: legal, moral, psychological definition of R. Penetrative. Absolutely non consensual.

I am with you

I didnt know if you needed that clarity

Did you have more questions right now?

About anything

Yes

Is there something in particular you want me to know rn?

You often lead me

But I do not always follow well

A few things. Some, you've said you dont want to know yet

That was then

This is now and

Well, but

I dont know what to tell you because i want you to know it all

It just nevvvvvvvver stops though

Ashually

Can you tell me things you know or suspect I've done as a result of all my self loathing and whatever?

Ashually is cute

You are 14007 days old

Okay, thank you

For remembering my birthday and all too

Why you mention?

I will allow 5 stories for each day so you have 70035 stories in your bank.

The first few were intro freebies

Excelllent deal

70035 is not infinite, is it

T/f

Mmmmmm idk

/

Lol the answer is no, it is not infinite

Oh, okay

It is, in fact, finite

I suppose

Great!

Guess what?

What?

Imma give you the next 70035 times you wanna that I should know something.

I will guarantee my support

Should you reach the number, I may be able to renew at no additional cost you you

I appreciate your business Miss

Happy to patronize local merchants

Excellent personal touches

Well please feel free to reach out and grab me if you need any more feedback

Thank you so so so much

Oh i intend to

Btw, how busy are you tomorrow?

Duuuuude I am never busy

Ever

But tomorrow I think I shall go see a despot about a shelf

Whereabouts does the shelf reside?

Fml I might have to go to fucking fuxkoffville near my nothing to get the size I want!

Shelf to reside in basement

Adjacent to hobby bench

Ooooooh i have a fun secret fact about fuckoffville!!!

I might be really interested

Yours truly was almost the Fowlertucky fair queen one year

null

Lololol

It's 100% true

I luv me some corn fed girls. NGL

Omg NO

Whyyyyyy

I was 17 and weighed mayyyybe 100 pounds sopping wet

I won a $500 shopping spree af Tanger. Better than a stick in the eye!

Yay!

That's bc you are such a cutie!

Omg

I had all my yeeth lol

Lolummmm

Did you actually know how many days you have graced this planet?

Nope!

Haha

What have you broken before? Bones and stuff

Sheak

??

Sneak fml

Nvm I am stupid

Bones:

Left 2nd metatarsal, 2017 iirc

End of report

Fun medical things:

See next

R knee debridement. Worst medical calamity for me ever. Got over it

Who stomped your tarsal??

Oh, 2022

Tarsal injury was self -sustained. Got a treadmill. Have poor posture and pronation in feet, plus inappropriate footwear

Much better now thx

I have kind of a funny, neutral, serious sex thing to share that i should have pre-told you but didn't

I'm actually decent breeding stock. Chose not to

Oh sorry. Lol.

Yes?

Remember me telling you how obscenely clean you were?

You HAVE to MAKE ME p3e after. I usually wont drink enough so you kind of have to encourage that but i woulf love to not use this port for anoth3r stupid sepsisy uti.

So you HAVE TO make me pee & clean myself up right after

Yeah point taken. I even thought to tell you to buy water

But neither one of us had it

There's a boat load of perfume on these things from your house. Just saying

Confused

Are you telling me i wear too much perfume?

Nope

Scrunchee is pregnant

With a glade baby

Omg

Lol

You loofah your new self yet?

Not yet

Not with princess glade anyway

Can i see shelf idea?

Sure what part?

Product/solution or problem

Yes!

:p

It's really gross but give me a minutes

You saw my wild rainforest gilth desert house. I can handle some shelf mess

Also, side project

I dont love that nickname l9o

*lol

null

Nice!

null

Water bath stays. All else negotiable

Lover dear, you have been to my house....

But i make an excellent maid ;)

Shelf to the left, thinking 36" wide x 60 or 72 tall

I need room to work here lol

Yeah... how else are you going to throw me down?

null

What size does it need?

Or what's the model number and stuff?

Eyes are too sucky

A good way to organize hardware

Tools and materials, fasteners, etc

I got my goo on no worries

You wanted something expensive ish. What was it?

Lol an election microscope?

Hru

Ewwwwwwwwww

Please please baby

Fml lol

Ok
Serious

U r sooo hawt

Problem statement no. 2

 ​❤️​ to “ U r sooo hawt ” 

null

Camera equipment stays

Albums stay

Tools stay, but get better

I got you

Other box crap up top goes to basement shelves

Do you need gloves lol

It's taller

I need someone to give me gloves yes

null

Oh well I am clearly the one 4u

Fuckkkk

Unnnga
Bunnnnn ga

Why fouler ville?

I made that up

Maybe I went to homie despot

But they was out

In the okemos(

So I went on down the road

And that fucker was out

Brighton

And do you know actual truth?

For real

You passed a lot of empty roads with small blanketable opw meadows??

By the time I drove all over the place,I could a fucked my sweet baby right over here. Probably twice

What a shame that day

All them homies up in here but I should a stayed right here,

Picked up my sweet sweet baby and just went on you know?

Yesssssss

I still havent seen him btw

He has elected to sleep

Poor baby

Do we know for sure there is a homie despot in fowltuckey?

Howell

No wait that's lowes

Heh

I could just add easily say Jackson

West side?

Jack that fuck

Idk

Menards, despereaux, etc

Jack em both

L'Oubliette for all I care

I do wanna shelf
But I bet I get one in Waverly. They have 3

Just my size

That's the west side lol

BRB!

Have fun! 😄

Behold, the power of electrostatics!

It's not great conditions to demonstrate, but watch the foil leaves at the and of the copper rod

Final inspection

Ok bye for a little bit

Love it! Amazing!

What do you look for at records? Like... is the rule for me never to acquire them for you if i see them in the wild?

Lol prepping food, quickie visit 🤪
All will be revealed
(It's actually boring)

Alley will be revealed

Make my words!

Haiiiieeee

I look for things that I know and love. I also look sometimes with no fear at something adjacent

I am usually rewarded

I am funny about something I guess

Lol only. ONE. TH OK NG

Like looking at weird stranger girls who yap on and on about carafe coffee at work? Gotcha

THE H AS T IS ALL

I LIKE

Sorry

I like girls

Me too

Sometimes

Me too too

Only with boys though

They're so pretty with their button up shirts

What did you comsume in the last 20 minutes?!

Nothing actually. Been cooking

I still havent really been fed, medded, or watered over here....

Fml

Who do I have to blow to fix this

Me,

Maybe?

null

Combien de quoi?

Ummmm

Did you know there are only 5 platonic solids possible in this uni?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Platonic_solid

Never went past algebra, so i did nit!

How many sides of you do you reckon

Would you like to show me?

I want to know because I think you will lie and say "4 more"

Physical, emotional, mental, academic.... what makes a side?

Id like to show you infinite dodecahedrons worth

No - tell you alllll of them. I do not want you to see them all

Haha I knew it

You are a very clever girl

I look forward to hearing them all

Ummmmm not really but you'll know my crazy better

Really?

Yep

Do I not get access to your gooey inside

For sure. In fact, you make it gooey. And yes, in literal and figurative ways lol

Ps

I am patient

I know

What side are you hinting at seeing now?

What do you think im not really show8ng you, or do you think you havent seen?

You said this

I do not want you to see them all

End quote

Yes. Telling you about them is one thing. Showing you, me being in throes of some of the slides, is not something anyone should see

Ok that is very fair

Yes

I just want to know you. All

Here are 2 things that have been on my mind for a few hours....

Do you own a tiara?

More than one

One that's fir grown ups lol

Anyway, i asked if you knew how psychotic I've been to myself, like what i do when it's just me and i need to. Or in past tense. I havent seen a response

I also gave a generic feeling all the time and i cant tell if you know what it is

*have generic feeling

How

On earth

Would I know this?

I did kind of tell you once. In tect. Vaguely.

I really just don't know what you remember or notice or know or suspect

Dude

Are eating tide pods

Me asking you gives me a feel for how much to tell you and over how long of a time

Nope

I smelled it

Gain all the way

Ewwwwww

Lol

Ok ok

I am sorry

I do not, did not follow this lead

It's okay 🙂

Would an example help?

Always riddleses with this one

Okay golly

Teeses

😊

So for an example, you know that there have been chunks of my life where i just stopped eating or drinking. At all. Got me an official anorexia diagnosis once upon a time (it's kind of like a psycho contest with yourself to "earn" that title). I still have a hard time on occasion

Make sense?

Yes it does

Should i continue (

Please do

So then knowing I've self induced vomiting shouldn't be a surprise

When i had an ng tube once for a long time i just hated the feeling of anything in my stomach so I'd swallow and contort myself to throw up the TPN and Boost they put through the tube so they eventually moved the anchor to my small intestine so i couldn't do anything at all

Are you OK?

I'm sorry that sounds awful

Yes I am fine

Ty

Those weren't the worst either

Have you heard the term "diabulimia" before? It's something i did, lots of other type 1 girls did/do, and we all felt like the smartest people on earth for unlocking the trick

I have not

It's intentionally omitting insulin. Blood sugar stays high all the time, body builds ketones, ultra rapid weight loss because your body goes into diabetic ketoacidosis pretty quickly and so for energy in that state your body feeds on itself, breakdown muscle and tissue anr anything it can just to stay barely alive

It's horrrrrrrible

How did that work out

You know this already

Ofc

So you did this thing

Now what


I almost kicked the cat again by accident. Now have a flashlight

If I need to lick you....

Yes

To make you understand you are fucking awesome ,

I will

That's not the end of these, jsyk

I know

Mmhmmm

What else are you expecting?

I do know

I have no actual idea based on fact

I have a niece, and a coworker, who were cutters

I had a friend in high school who killed himself in college

I had a friend in college who also killed himself because his dad was fucking chief of police in meridian twp

And had a weapon

Bring me your worst

I dont have any surmising from you yet. Not stated explicitly

And i am not yet ready to tell you my worst

I still have shirts in my closet that my ex gf mom recovered from a house where the dude hung himself. I have his shirts

I'm so sorry you witnessed all of that hurt

I stopped eating meat after watching faces of death and hooking up with a cool veg

I was friends with a cool frood who's dad was a pilot in the IDF and killed people for a living

Are you really okay right now?

Yeah kinda
No kinda

Talk to me about it

Are you in tears?

I feel like you might be

I want desperately to understand and hear you, but I think you want to shock me

Not in tears. Not yet lol

I dont want to shock you, total opposite. I want you to be prepared

Prepared for what?

The zombie apocalypse?

Whatever you want

I do not want that lol silly person

You mentioned 2 specific mental health challenges

I do not doubt it

Of whom?

Friends of yours you'd known. The cutting and the suicidality

I am ok btw

Right, yes

Why bring those up specifically?

Only to tell you, I've faced some ugly truths. I am not afraid to face more

I already know people are shitty

This is one reason I expect nothing

It's not because you suspect those are part of this story? All the stories?

I am not sure what you mean, I'm sorry

Super directly, do you think i am or was or have been a cutter? Suicidal? What would make you guess so?

I would guess 50% each

Partially my ignorance of your Gen

Also just fyi my phone is being dumb, in case i stop responding

And partially the degree of your trauma

Ok ty

Borh are correct. And became more self injury than strictly cutting

My ignorance does not understand the difference

There are a lot of ways people do it. Some are almost ritualistic and set up sad music to make specific lines or whatever. Aome carve actual designs in. These are usuallg xacto or box cutter blade users

I never liked straight bladed so i used whatever if theres a need for in the moment upset. Upset or whatever thats toward myself or anyone else

Some like tge pain, some like the reminders of the pain after the fact (like if sweat hits a cut it's a sting

Hopefully that helps a little

I will go into whatever details you want about any of it

Yes

Please

I hope you are sleeping
I hope your sleep is deep and restorative
I wish for you to find peace
Within and without
Sleep well. Sleep well.
Sleep well, sweet one
I wish it were I, that finds you in the morning, finds you in my arms

I figured something out

I am sorry this all comes to you like a news feed

I've known too many people that killed themselves.

You worry me

I will be damned if you end up like my less fortunate friends

2024-09-29T08:34:12

I wish i knew what to say

Thank you for all of that

Good morning, love ❤️

Guess what i just found out?? There really IS a funtgelllin F off ville today, lol

If i go anywhere, would you like to be my date? Kol.

Function, btw

PSA: dont text and sleep sumi I m

2024-09-29T11:11:20

GM!

Ahoy!

Yarr! Aieee! Urrrrr!

Mr Bell wanted Ahoy to be the standard, common phone greeting. People liked Hello better ao we all went with that

Haha I forgot about that

Just imagine, every phone call would be in pirate speak if agb got his way

I actually answer with "ahoyhoy" in a victorian era uptick

How are you today?

Honest answers only please

Lol I am alright. Slowly but surely clearing the haze

What else?

What else?

Idk

You sure? Open forum for anything on your mind

Make any shelfish choices yet? Loo

*lol

Lol selfish choices in the loo

No not really. I mean there are so many conversations we can have. my brain is not completely engaged yet tho

What are you drinking?

Now? Nothing. One coffee down though

No non beaned water?

Bean free. Bean free. No alas none is within reach

I keep trying to tell myself i need to try and boost my dihydrogen monoxide intake to above 0

It's just so unfun

That stuff kills babies

Terrorists drink that shit

I think theyve actually proven that everyone ever who has died has in all throughout their body

Fucking molecules dude.

They're everywhere

I seen em in the sky too. Little white trails of doom

For sure! I feel like even you and i are comprised of ancient stardust combustions

It do be that way

It is so

I feel seirdly related to bananas too. Maybe that's why you have the aversion? They taste too much like peoples?

Lol I wouldn't know

LIESSSSSSS

🤪

I do like banana bread

Speaking of

It's about time for my neighbor to bring zucchini bread

I make decent banana bread.....

Mmmmm

I might like your indecent banana bread too

Ooh! New question!!!

You found one? Woohoo!

I have more. Always.

Food while being indecent. Experience? Thoughts? Questions?

Chocolate syrup works really well

Except for you I suppose

Oh

Whipped cream ftw

Really fun that

She's like brb gonna insta-cart a case of whipped cream...

Was i not supposed to??

Well this is awkward lol

So is that a yes, you've tried?

Yeah, only a couple times tho

Last year I tried for days to have a whipped cream sesh but could not convince anyone to partake

I'm not sure how an entire sesh would work or whatever but absolutely sign me up

Right on!

It's kinda like paint by number, sort of

I obv need some activity description

Lick by number

Just.... everywhere?

I mean I'm not gonna stop you

Or some targeted areas

Will you also be an artist by number?

Je suis l'artiste de numero

I can do one thing well

Remind me?

Of course

I can thoroughly remove the whipped cream from your body using nothing but my mouth

It takes a little time. Sometimes I have to go over an area many times to ensure complete removal

Oh fuckkkkm me

I'm happy to be whatever turns me into your muse and artistic medium

My tiny fucked up brain says that maybe eventually we could try that but we use some restraints

So the artist can art completely in their element, yknow?

ooOoo

That is an interesting proposition

Sorry totally off topic-- first thing that comes to mind when I say

Spider

Web

K

Charlotte

Arachnid

Whycome(

?

There have been a lot of macro shots of bugs and spiders on the photog subreddits I follow. Spiders are particularly wild

Anyhoo

I think most are beautiful and do impressive work

I had a pet tarantula once

Whoa really?

And wanted to be a forensic entomologist for a good few years

Yes really. A customer and his kid who were regulars at my first job gave him to me as a gift

Nice!
I do admire spiders a great deal, and try to accommodate them wherever I find them including in the house

Not sure if it's still true but for a good chunk of yeaes i was the only documented brown recluse bite in the state

Wtf!

You some kinda femme fatale?

Tbd lol

No wonder you're so gooey

Nope. That's a YOU factor

Fecking recluse predigested ya

That's actually true

It's where ive had official plastic surgery on my body other than teeth

Remnants...

null

Still a chunk missing

Quarter sized patch above the mole?

Yes

Dang

It's a divet now

Was almost the whole calf thay was affected

And fasssssst

Yipe!

It's also how i quicjly found out i am allergic to gentamycin

....which can only be administered IV

Fun night

That story leads to - surprise- a terrible outcome

That spider meant to eat you

Luckily, I will not predigest you. I will simply eat you

No antibiotic necessary

Pairs nicely with whipped cream though

You're vicious, lol

It's a sweet way to go

I might take a quick nap

Involuntary lol

Okay all good
Sweet dreams

Funny you mention that

You have any more about me?

Since I last mentioned it, yes, but was a few days ago

As I sober up through the week it's likely I will have more

Are they always pleasant? What usually, transpires?

My dreams in general? I would not describe as pleasant, but they are rarely unpleasant. Clear as mud yeah?

When I wake up thinking about being with you? Nothing is better than that feeling. Except actually being with you

You're amazing and fantastic and perhaps a figment, you know that?

I did eat fig once. Made bagels with em. Pretty tasty!

Do you think figs are vegan? In your opinion

No figs are definitely meat. Tree meat

Do you kmow why i ask?

I'm afraid to find out

Trees do eat dead bodies, so...

Oh I get it now

Vegans are lovely, but sometimes misguided in my opinion

Yep

And a lot of chocolate is a no go for them

Yes I'm aware

Mewamew then, aren't we clever!

Pewpew?

Nope, it was ontomontopoaeia

Hahaha yay!

Just imagine me saying it, kind of high pitched while bobbing my head left and right

OMG lol

I know, right? 🤦‍♀️

My little cousin Abby and her hubby abruptly became vegan about 8 years ago. It was really unexpected. She and I are the only non-omnivores in the blood line.

Nomnivores lol

They're not preachy about it and they've actually been really resourceful and clever with it

And now they has two bebes

How does one feed a vegan bebe?

Legit question

She is actually about your age lol

So are your stepsons lol

Yes yes

Whatever it's hot

I don't actually know if the babies are vegan. But quite certain no meat

My step sons have been veggie since birth

Proof that it's possible, for the h8ters

Oh i know it js

One of my longer relationship was born & raised vegetarian, and his brothers. I didnt know that til prom when i was like "ummmm you didn't order an entree, just every potato dish they had....??"

So that's how i learned l9l

We went camping not too much later that summer and he ate his first meat (100000% his choice). It was hot dogs. That was our first ER trip in those 4 days

Ohnoooes

I often have so many questions about that relationship. It was a good one, no regrets, still friendly all these years later. He went to the funeral and gave me old pictures and stuff

Oh, yeah. He was suuuuuuper sick

Like ill?

Like his body didnt know what meat was for all those years so it got rid of everything it had ever ingested and then some while trying to reset itself or something

Just that incident

Like food poisoning

Wild

I've not intentionally broken my diet. Accidentally yes, many times

It's a bit of a head scratcher, that relationship and espwcially that trip kow that i look back on it

That's amazing! I've done stints of being vegetarian. Should probably just try and stick to it

null

I got a call from Buddy's Pizza the other day

He's HOOONNGGRRAAAYYYY

Oh??

Customer relations. I logged a complaint because I ate meat on a pizza that was supposed to be veg

Cheese pizza that is

Right

They're going to inspect the store and send me a gift certificate for the restaurant

It was an excellent response. That was the last time I accidentally ate meat... Just a couple months ago

I have pics of a second, unopened, and obviously contaminated pizza

Ask for a few hundred thou because you're a fundamentalist and so now you see yiurself as a murderer of one of God's creatures from the meat contaminant. Get a few million $$ more and we can jet off to our own clothing optional permanent destination??

😻

The fundamentalist ideology is true

Oh I'm aware

You know those lovely people who are legally my in laws??

Pentecostal

I should have acted like my throat was constricting right then on the call

I

Cnt

Bree

Oh lordy

Yeah

I am super glad my fams are chill about religion

We all are fine with "you do you"

My dad is on the board of the friendship society

Chillest frood I know

Like Ben Franklin's people Friends?

Yeah

I think

Quakers

Quaker

Yes

Haha

Or Shaker to sime

Yes indeed

They're dying out as a religion, i believe

Yes

He didn't gravitate to it until his dad passed

I mean it was always there I'm sure, but he got active only recently

Interesting

Fun fact: i know a LOTTTTT about/from the bible and Christian history

The best defense is a good offense or something like that

Plus, I've been through plenty of relgious questioning

I applaud that! I see people pulling out Bible refs to tear down zealots and know that must be very satisfying

Yes. Facts be factin

Right! And they don't care about your feelings

I love how linguistics plays into it all too. Translations and basic languahe evolution really changes things

Orrrr

When someone is like "blablhblah name is too hard or weird" I'm like uhhhhh Zahavit is the same letters and same era as Rebecca, it just didnt stay popular as a name

Yiu saw my history offocw cast (like a podcast in my office one day where i rambled about history). I do the bible and religion ones too ;)

You get that shelf yet?

OMG people and names..

No I've decided I'm going to prep the area first.

Ok doc holaday

I need to clear out the junk and clean the floor

Lol

So I can move the shelf straight in when I get it

Omg guess what

What?

I want you

Aww!

I miss you 💌

I really wanted to be with you last night

And this morning

And right now too

Me too

You're aware there's more

There's always more

More... Lascivious ways to get on? Yeah

Oh well now you have me on your hook again. Go on.....

Hehe that was easy

I know you're not a fan of chocolate. It's too bad because it takes considerably more effort to remove from skin

You really have to lick a lot

Salivating helps

But still

Caramel is a thing

It might be an hour on just one spot

And chocolate is fine

Imma make you my ice cream cone

I think you'll have me literally begging for more of you, all the time

Ohhhh what fun

I just wannnnnnnnt ut. You. Endless. All of it

Youve somehow turned me into a selfish nympho rather quickly

OMG how did you know that is exactly what I wanted?

I read books. And i know things. Lol

Yours or mine?

null

You should have them so we can have matchy matchy stuff , just like twins!

Lol
These are the ones from Friday

I have them hostage along with your record

And maybe more stuff idk

Oh noes however will I get them back?

I think I have a couple of your records too

Maybe we can work something out

I'll show you yours if you show me mine

Sir, i believe this is a solicitation trope

And i think you saw mine first

I mean somebody has to be first

I will let you undress me next time

Ohhh no

I love being undressed by you

Im going to wear more layers though

I like the anticipation

So good. So so so good

What of it?

[Becca enters the room in a parka and ski pants]

Scarf, gloves, mittens, kmit headband

4 pairs of panties

I'm sorry all I heard was "mmf fruh ppr he muv ruh"

Those sounds dont make words to me lol

You ain't a kidding

I think she said "have you seen my snorkel?"

 ​❤️​ to “ Scarf, gloves, mittens, kmit headband  ” 

 Removed ‌❤️‌ from “ Scarf, gloves, mittens, kmit headband  ” 

Here's a question i know the answer to

OMG I am a giggling idiot over here

If you're going at me and it feels amazing but it might feel orgasmic-er, can i grind hard against your face? Like, whiplash hard mayhe?

Yes

I might protest a little, but yeah go for it

It's just.... it was SO. GOOD.

you wouldn't have time to protesf

And youd be busy wiping off your chin by that point

That sounds amazeballs

Ah fuck

Did you know

You can get on your knees and I can slide my face under you from behind

Or the front

Either way

Fuckkkkkk

Maybe especially on tiny stairs

And you can ride my face like a little pony

null

I would crualshuffocate you

Yeah those little stairs are really intriguing

Or maybe you have a chair you like and I can spread you out there

And you can spread you all over me

You just have to help me learn

It's just like riding the birds and the bees

No problemo

Which i am still relatively confused on

Birds? Or bees?

Yep

The lessons shall continue, no worries

Fabulous

Need to eat snd falling asleep... ttys?

Ok sweets!

Yo

Yo yo

null

null

Which thryffte?

That was Capitol discount on Friday

Ah i see

I finally slept a little :)

Well that is asstastic!

Interesting adjective choice lol

null

At 7pm on a work night??

Yep!

Fun!

Idle q for you

DST

What does it stand for?

Daylight savings time?

I have some letters for you too, for real

Savings or saving

What part of speech is that word playing in the initialism, in your opinion

Hmm. That's one i haven't given much thought to. Are you asking if i think it's diectically refereing to the subject Daylight so there should be a verb ending in singular/plural agreement? One could argue both ways

For this instance, i just typed iut what I've always heard, no extra thought given

Daylight is singular to me at first, but you could argue plurality based on it being more than one occasion over the course of time because in order to ise the system properly you need to have DST twice a year and then it happens every year

Thanks for the thoughts. I would argue against twice a year being a requirement, but that's a different matter

I also said savings most of my life until I saw a discussion that convinced me that saving is a verb here: we save daylight. Savings to me sounds like a plural or mass noun, which is fine in and of itself (e.g., savings and loan), but it does not make sense to me to think of the resource as having some accumulation

I agree with everything you just said

NB every year we hear about the idea of switching to DT year-round. I favor this, even though it is wildly out of line with natural time

As soon as you said it i questioned it lol

I think i am team singular on that

Do you know what "time zone" we would be in if the zones followed a strict definition based on longitude?

Oh gosh no

Central would seem natural

But i doubt it is

Actually you are correct. Central would be more "natural" based on our longitude

It had something to do with banks and lumber and shipping and nyc/chicago

So to think that we would switch to daylight time year round is kind of funny because it takes us even further away from the "natural" choice

I agree

Fun fact

Culver Indiana is in a part of the state that did not observe daylight time until maybe 25 years ago. As a kid who was there in summers and at Thanksgiving, it was very confusing

Oh weird!

Part of the UP is central timw

Oh yeah that is true! They're practically in Wisconsin/Minnesota

Poor buggers

They dont leave their towns, so I'm sure they're fine lol

Lol!

Ok I've exhausted that topic!

Maybe.... arizona or NM dont observe

I knew about AZ. Did not know about NM

I said or lol

and weird stuff like China is all same tz

Yes!

I do not have the fortitude for that subtopics branching rn lol

☺️

If and when you feel like it, my letters for you are C-PTSD

I havent ever actually looked it up. I think not knowimg helps me work things through with more of a natural finding things out kind of process

Complex post-traumatic stress disorder

Makes sense

I actually did not know the C part

It wasnt ever on my radar and I'm probably hetter off not diving down the research rabbit hole on it

I give the latest diagnosis to you with permission and encouragement to learn everything you can about it unless you feel it would somehow come back to negatively affect me

It's different than ptsd

No worries. This is not a surprise by any stretch. And I will be very interested to familiarize myself

Remember: I love you not because of your vulnerability, but in spite of it.

I know. And thank you. Still working on letting some of those bricks frbarmy barricade go away

It's a damn Hadrian's wall

Well the Berlin wall did not exactly disappear overnight either

I suppose

The important thing of course is to remove the bricks, not as to them

*add

Interesting approach

My idea was always that they just need to be obliterated

So there's truth in me hok8ng about want-needing a lobotomy when i say it

It would be much more exciting to blow them up, sure! Maybe you will.

I rather think this is one of those slow and steady wins the race things, but idk. One day, you may find that something is missing... A barrier that was once there, isn't.

Maybe. Actually, i alreafy know an example and a half or so

That's good, right?

So far, yes

You know at least one (and I'm speaking very literally)

Then YAY--YOU WIN!

Keep winning! I want to see you win

Thanks!

♥️

You're aware of the already brick removal, yes?

You told me a few things that sounded really positive and involved me. I'm not sure which one qualifies though

Honestly probably all of them. My mind went for the kost obvious ones to me

And i thought of one just now you don't know

So maybe it's a tiny section of bricks

Im interested in hearing your list

Yes! Yay you!

Like actually sleeping together
Getting your way on top of me
I know there are more but they're not jumping to mind

Very literally my entire body relaxing during sex

That was my most obvious to me

Yes!

And its good repercussions

Wonderful !

I also believe you for some things that you'll think are really trivial

This one is new to you and might seem silly but it's pretty big... i can make eye contact with you

That sounds like a big deal to me !

It really does

How does it make you feel?

Weird for now

Like it's a good thing but i might be being too open and vulnerable

Are you talking about in daily life here or during sex?

Daily life

Gotcha

Could be both?

Hardly anyone will make eye contact in sex

But it's something i really wanted

Huh. I don't know hardly anyone. I like to see your eyes

I don't mind if you have to zone out though

Just please don't stare at the ceiling like a zombie

Zoning out to me is bad. I can tell you how to tell if i do it

I like zoning in. I'm pretty sure you've seen that one. Or maybe you couldnt based on what else you were looking at lol

I'm pretty sure I've seen you zone in. I like it

 ​❤️​ to “ Zoning out to me is bad. I can tell you how to tell if i do it

I like zoning in. I'm pretty sure you've seen that one. Or maybe you couldnt based on what else you were looking at lol ” 

Haha it's a good thing my accidental taps are legit

Hahahahaha

I'm going to get a quick shower

Back in 20 or so, ok?

Sounds good

😘

null

Then they work on you lol

Did you try a mouth and finger combination roughly 2 weeks ago?

I sure did

Fuckkk

I just remembered and it sent a sweat wave through me

Yummmm

Yeah I was definitely exploring

Found a spot I think you like, but

Do you recall how many digits at once, ever, with me?

What spot?

I mean also yesssssssss

A few, but you were saying?

Will need to repeat, for science

I only ever used one finger. I might have offered two, but it wasn't the right time. which is no problem

Would you ask or just go for it?

There was a spot right close to your pubic bone. Not as far back as I was able to go, that seemed to get your (positive) attention

Yes

I told you before that i am poorly designed

I might ask. I might not. But I would never just jam on in there. I'd probe and push a little. If it goes, it goes. If not, do something else

You are not either

Atypical then

Perhaps

Delightfully chubby

To whicn part of me are you referring?

Do you use your tongue on more than just the outside?

Your pink girly parts

Only a little. I could not keep my tongue off your clit. It was too fucking hot

Why?

I mean sexy hot

Right.... but why? What makes you think that way? My reaction, taste, feel...?

All the above actually

I didnt realize any of that was different

Different than what?

Than at any other point we were doing anything

Oh. I think I understand.

I really enjoy eating pussy

It's intoxicating

So you've said

Okay okay - to me, i am the same amount of squirmy and vocal and reactive from the second we start til after we (you in this case) stop. You're saying you can tell differences

Ahhh

Yes. Yes I am.

That's fascinating

Unreal

For you see, I am tuning in to find out how to give you a really good time. So I am looking for signs that I'm doing a good thing

Btw I am not saying here that you need to change any thing

It's just how I operate

It's strange to me that it doesnt register that I'm doing anything different

Case in point... When I was exploring with my finger, you actually told me "there" a few times. That's how I learned that one.

Do you recall this?

Sort of?

It was really fun

You told me i could have fun and i believe you, so i guess you pre-de-bricked

It's a silly little dream of mine to have someone devote time to literally explore me in a good way

Ooh that sounds like fun!

I would LOVE that

I have always felt like it was way too selfish to even entertain that as a partner possibility and I'm not comfortable with my own self

Well I would be thrilled to provide such a service

For science

Lol

I will always over reciprocate, if you'll allow

I'll allow it!

Hurray!!!

We win!

I have other exploratory ideas for you but we'd need to set a few really simple guidelines between us first

All good. This is supposed to be enjoyable, not make you uncomfortable

I meant for you, actually

I am confident you'd only do one thing I'd maybe not be okay with

I don't know what that would be

Right, but it's also maybe something i want, so it's confusing

It would be getting too much pleasure and feeling too intensely good at one time. I've gotten that feeling before and i described it to you as like if i kept going i would explode and die and the world would end

But I'm curious what actually happens

There might be a way to do it better now that i think on it

I don't think you would die. Better not!

I did feel something like you describe though, once. Not even sex. LSD and music. I was "falling" into a space, with an intense feeling, and suddenly was terrified I would not be able to find my way back. Very odd.

Yes!

That's exactly it

I think you should play with it. I will be there.

Turning inside out

That was a bit brah of me lol

*brash

I want to play with it. I need you to be there and to talk me through. And reassure

100%

I got you on this if you want to try

Thank you

Yes, absolutely, please

How exciting!

I kind of know it'll be an orgasm but those are new in general and this is so ampligied

Sounds like an epic orgasm

I so want you to have it!

I do too but I'm really apprehensive. And scared

I will want alcohol at the very least

🥂

I really want to be drunk with you

Tee hee!

Pray tell?

We need another play date. It's abundantly clear.

Like you wouldn't believe

We need a whole damn daycare nanny servjce for us lol

Lololol

That sounds luxurious

I happen to know of a record show happening close but far enough the weekend of october 20

Fair warning... I'm getting a bit fadey. I might drop off without warning

Okay :)

So a record show eh

Exactly

A for real one

Where is it?

Ann Arbor

Nice

Indeed

I know i can get plenty of leeway to get to A2 on my end of things

Do with that what you will

Yes let me noodle on this!

Even if you just need to plant idea seeds.... easier to decide not to go than to wish you had made plans....

Yes indeed. I just put it on my calendar

Yay!

https://www.annarbor.org/event/ann-arbor-record-%26-cd-show/13914/

And there are 8 zillion secondhand stores and a ton of music ones too

Oh snap thanks for that!

You're welcome!

Ok I'm putting the phone down

I hope you sleep well

I love you babe

I love ypu too. Sweet dreams

2024-09-30T05:23:09

Good morning sweet one!

2024-09-30T07:35:36

And to you as well!

How are you feeling this morning?

Assessing that now lol

While i work on that, how are you?

A little hot under the collar ATM because I just got off the phone with a med provider about their billing...

But I will cool off quickly. I'm actually feeling really good

Not excellent... boo med provider billing. Constantly.

And excellent!

What's making you feel so superb?

Good sleep, not hung over. Prolly

Both good options

What's on your docket today, aside from the obvious meetings and tasks?

Might go get that shelf

I almost set up a flu shot appt but maybe tomorrow

Plus it's trash/kitty litter cow day for me

Cow...lol

Cow?

I have no idea lol

You go get milk?

You eat grass and clovers

No milk comes to me lol

All the boobs come here

You do just that one yoga pose

I believe i was advised no boobs of mine should bare tnemselves there

Well I wish anyway

I recorded the whole conversation. There was a pretty telling moment

I asked the gal in the billing office if they were always this incompetent?

I see

She said "I have nothing" she seemed embarrassed

I've said that soooo many times

I understand mistakes but this team.. ugh

In any case that should be the end of it.

Right

Where is this shelf? May i see?

Yes. But first...

https://www.reddit.com/r/Eyebleach/comments/1fqxqlm/squirrel_knocks_broom_down_then_pretends_to_be_a/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=mweb3x&utm_name=mweb3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

Clever pink panthquirrel!

This is the one I am thinking

https://www.homedepot.com/p/HDX-6-Tier-Commercial-Grade-Heavy-Duty-Steel-Wire-Shelving-Unit-in-Chrome-48-in-W-x-72-in-H-x-18-in-D-HD18481302PS-1/203846551

What are your criteria for shelf sources? Eg, no Bezosworld, waltonfamalot, need it today/not shipped, etc

You for sure want chrome or does black appeal more?

Stationary or wheels?

I don't have a lot of source requirements other than WallFuck is always vendor of last resort. Chrome works best here IMO. It's not a living space. No wheels (I thought a lot about that option yesterday), although the choice can easily accept them if I change my mind.

Doesn't have to be today.

Ooh walfuck, i like that one!

Lol

Benzozon

https://www.target.com/p/fdw-wire-shelving-unit-heavy-duty-storage-rack-metal-shelf-garage-organizer-wire-rack-with-casters-black/-/A-92750666

Might be the same?? Didnt look that closely

But it's half the cowt

Get 2 lol

It's also half the size 😊

I'm looking for 48 wide, 72 high

Pshhhht

Depth is flex, prefer at least 16 , no more than 24

I appreciate the extra search help ! I tend to get overwhelmed and itch on top the first good looking option I find

48, 72, 18?

https://www.menards.com/main/storage-organization/garage-outdoor-organizers/freestanding-shelving-units/designers-image-trade-48w-x-72h-x-18d-chrome-6-tier-commercial-grade-wire-shelving-unit/a29017/p-105478432248-c-12652.htm

Well hot damn

Thank you!

😊

I dont think they're in stock right now but free ship to store is always an option

Thank you

Fml my coworker is driving me nuts today

Sorry! Lol

Mine too..... but he lives here so it is what it is

Lolol

I mean funny/not funny

Like.... dude you're well into your thirties and i have to walk down then bavk up 2 flights of stairs because you dont wantvto answer your phone after you're already late for work??

Oiye

Fhl

Fuck his life

Ok presumptuous of me. Just tell me if I'm being unacceptably rude. I'm in a mood today

I might actually appreciate it more if you could be ruder

This has been the entiiiiiiiiiiire relationship

I do literally everything

Sigh.....

I can be a royal bitch if I need to lol

I really do try to take the high road most of the time through... Much better for my inner peace

I noticed something about me this morning

I think you'd find it interesting

Ever since I realized my major paranoia moment last week, I have not been ruminating on home life, in spite of all the whack-a-doodle going on.

This is very good

It's not that I like it more (I don't)

But keeping in touch with you is preventing me from circling around absurd other things that I cannot solve right now

Is that good?

It is good, yes

Because that circling is unproductive and just makes me irritable

I'm guessing you have questions... Feel free to ask whenever you wish

What would you like to tell me before i ask?

Sorry for the delay... godbless-ed phones and needed a break and all

All good

That was really all I had for now
You help me stay focused on productive things. This may seem strange, but it's true

Kind of same

I sleep way more now too

Anyway, whackadoodle things at home, you say

Boys still there?

They left Saturday

What remains is the usual

I have no idea what that is

I never did recall what sweet me off a few nights ago. Something my spouse said. That kind of stuff

*set me off

Right

What would be something typical?

Ugh. Meeting soon

I have to actually brush my hair for these people

Lol get yourself tarted up good for them

Pssshhfffft

No new makeup, just a hair clip

Just whatever is still there from last night

I'll show you soon

Oh, wild night?

😘

Actually i have no idea what my hair looked like after you, come to think of it..... input?

I don't remember tbh

Like I'd be worried about that lol

Just curious

Take it as a badge of honor, lol

 ​❤️​ to “ Take it as a badge of honor, lol ” 

I am really looking forward to the next time I see you with messed up hair, make up running, and looking for your other sock.

{you can keep the one on if you need to}

Lol. Both feet are terrible

But i think I'm okay with you seeing them

How are those weekends looking?

Wait I remember about the 20th. What's the other?

Next weekend is a maybe but would just be here chez moi

Got it!

I may have to invent a distraction. There are no plans here that I know of. Not that I would know lol

And I know this is a way out to but there's a maybe for a week or so of free me in late November or early December

Always nice

Dont forget to observe your own religious or cultural dat

*day

Wait, you said a week!?!?

Does she just skip out at such auspicious a day near december 3?

Right. It's a terrible day. Terrible. It's the day after Cash Askew's death. Poor little songbird.
https://pitchfork.com/news/70229-them-are-us-toos-cash-askew-among-the-confirmed-dead-in-oakland-fire/#:~:text=Cash%20Askew%20of%20Bay%20Area,more%20are%20still%20unaccounted%20for.

She wants to visit her mum in Arkansas around then. I have been known to back out at the last minute because "work"

So yeah, a week and then some. Like maybe two weeks

It's a maybe

But she did mention it a few weeks ago

Tantalizing, huh?

Yknow what else goes on around then?

You might not register this

Holiday party fuckery?

Well maybe but no

Yeah not for a while

What is it?

Mommy kissing Santa?

Dont vomit when i say this

Fuck that nonsense

My mother's sluttier than I've ever been

😆

On what lips???

Wait...

That's not how the song goes

What you got?

Lol not really joking but it's fine

Anyway, hunting season

😂

Oh fuck me silly

That's the plan

Right on queue!

Perfect

Mmhmm

When the hunter's away, the dears shall play, innit?

Something like that

45th parallel?

Like, Actually up north?

Could be

Or could be souther

Still, a treat especialle

Closest would be a vile little town called evart

Lol I know exactly where that is

Moi aussi

Spring Hill camp?

It exists there, yes

Been there. 6th grade

Why do I remember this? I have no idea

Hey same! And some high school

It was horrible

We stayed in the cabooses. You?

Once a train cabin, once the plane

I was already a seasoned rustic camper at that point. So that part sucked. And as an awkward 11yo or whatever, it was ... Horrible

Awww

Do you know Whitehills neighborhood in EL?

Aren't i in that neighborhood? Sort of?

Old timers like myself would not say so--you are in a was-a-cornfield not long ago. For all practical purposes when I was young, East Lansing ended at lake Lansing road.

Nevertheless, all the majorly rich kids live there in palatial houses. I did not know they existed until 6th grade. It was quite a culture shock

When was your house built btw? Do you know?

Give me just a sec - between 2003 and 2005 is best i can do for you right now

Why do you mention whitehills?

2003 but moved into a year or 2 later. One of the first in my neighborhood- "phase 1"

I brought up Whitehills because of the stark contrast to the neighborhood where I grew up. We were not in poverty, but we didn't have anywhere near the affluence you see in WH.

Which is why 6th grade was so awkward for me

How are phones?

I grew up in a variety of means, believe it or not

A variety of varieties

Phones are meh

I took this position 5 years aho specifically to not answer phones

Well crap you got bamboozled

Yep

But at least i know what I'm saying

Not everyone thrown on phones overnight has a clue

Right?

Oh good, new garbage news for us today

Lol my manager told me to put my PTO in Oracle last week. I guess I caused "some issues"

Haha 😂

Hope I get paid this week

Is there real potential for you not to?

I don't it

Aaaaa lol I doubt it

And we all have just been hoping.... no oracle for us at all

Anyway, office fuckery for me on wednesday

Oh no

And mandatory OT next week

Whattt

Mmmhmm

Whatever. It's finnnnnnnnnnnnne

You decide on going anywhere tonight?

I have not decided anything. Trying to get things set up on VDI

Ew

It's like laptop all over again lol

Are you not already on laptop?

Yes but certain applications can only be used with VDI.

Data access, from my point of view

Gotcha

I am merely a whiny dick without data

I'll take it

I'm a useful whiny dick with data

I'll take that one too

Heh

Im a greedy slut no matter when or where

Yeah but I like you

Damn. I like you too

Quite a team we are

Um, yes, i believe it's the winning one??

Well hot damn!

What does OT look like for you?

Processing activities in my own time, so def not a bad arrangement just.... meh

This isn't at all what i normally do and i don't love asking questions that are valid but annoy other people because they're used to things. I have more of a get it done once and correctly than pass it off kind of work idea and i troubleshoot before there's an issue, so i guess i cause problems because I'm not paid to think in anticipation of anything

Are you rocking boats?
Raining on parades?
Did you move someone's cheese?

You icky yucky poo poo face

I moved ALLLLLLLLL the cheese

Iz mine now

Lololol

Do you have a favorite cheese?

Sometimes

Let me think

I have least favorites

What about you?

Same. Can really name one above all others. Love sharp cheddars, there's a nice VT white at Kroger sometimes. Also Colby... Plain but yummy. And feta

Emmentaler is nice too

I really like edam

Some chevres

Well those are marvelous

So hubs is a hunter eh?

Omg

Like, i cant even stomach thinking about most of it

He is from evart

He also does not eat vegetables

Like.... at all. No, potatoes and corn do not count

Oh wow

My dad is a hunter 'lite' I suppose. But he is also a nice person who likes real food

Does he drink no less than 2 litres of mountain dew every day?

I dare say he's never had that sum in total over his 75 years going around the sun

I think i am staying in tonight

Literally every single day. Minimum

I did that in high school. I rarely have soda anymore, except for plain or tonic in my drinkses

Do you use go out?

Use or usually?

Usually lol

Actually no

I think about it a lotttttttt

I am also confined to this godforsaken room all day

Do you not like to work from your room?

I do, i do not like habing to be glued to this screen and unable to move or do much of anything else but answer irritated callers

Yeah

And it may be better once i get ir cleaned

But literally cannot leave because then i cant answer

I do not do well being tethered

Ick

I'm sorry. I hope you at least get to do your regular stuff soon

I hope so, too

But i think cleaning will at least help. Maybe i can craft in here while working if i can accomplish that much. Or write on my personal laptop

But.... idk

In a state of overwhelm kind of

I'm sorry you're in this crap situation

Thanks. You too.

Did you have one situation in mind?

No... The collective crap

Hmm. Thanks

It does have a way of pulling up sometimes

Dang it!

??

Piling

Makes more sense

I want to tell you more things lol

Okay 👍

Anything you want to know right now?

First thing that comes to your mind

How did you meet the hubs

I took a Russian history class for fun during one of my many senior years in college. I'd studied abroad in Russia twice and wanted to learn more. He was in it because he was a history major.

I used to dress up for presentations (like, Russian costume kond of dressing up), i baked for class at least once a week, blahblahblah. I was 1 of 4 girls in it too.

But anyway, a college class

Ohhhh I bet you were quite fetching!

I actually agree

Something about Eastern European traditional dress is really attractive to me

I will wear almost any costume anytime

But my chonky cheeks make it work extra well

Hell yeah!

So when was this class?

Fall semester 2010, iirc

So were you two pals for nine years before getting married?

That was some quick math

Yes

Oh. Pals. Ummmm

I might have the date in front of me. Thank you, wedding registry

Omg delete thaf

Pics ew

There are none, no worries

Anyway

Williams-Sonoma site

Anyway

Yep

Pals not pals, or?

Met. I invited him over for food and to color (no, really). Watched a Disney movie, ended up making out on my floor, blahblahblah (continued)

Second "date" went to a movie, ended up back at his apartment, slept together (yes a euphemism)

That was in November 2010

And that was that

There may be parts here that are obvious to me because I've recounted them a lot to myself but what do you want to know?

Is this date correct?

Depends. For this house? Yes. For me living here? No. We are the second owners

The house was built with the plans the first owners set, they moved into it later

When did you live in okemos?

Mid to End of 2016 to wnd or 2017

What else are you finding while stalking me? Lol

Fair warning you may come across a not-great article. I dont know what key words will bring it up and i have not read it. I am not mentioned but it's def my family and

Def might make you cry? Be angry? No idea

Will lead to more, obv

I did not find much more. Your awesomeness at 7-11. Brother's obit. Go fund me appeal from Mom colleague. I think that's it actually

So did you and Loren move to EL after that?

For some reason my phone cannot get cell signal today. Not liking this

Yes

Verizon?

It's a national outage

Fr?

Lol

Yes

In case it's unclear - lived in that house in brighton that i grew up in with loren and my mother and my brother. It's also where i grew up, one ane only childhood home. He and i lived in ann arbor for a few years after undergrad, then moved in with her, then fire, hotel, apartment, next apartment, here

Funny because my work phone is fine and it's also Verizon. But it's old timers don't know more than 5G DEATH RAYS!

Lol

Got it

So you two were "oh pals ummm" . What does that mean?

It means we started dating and immediately exclusive, not really ever just friends

I was also supposed to be a ONS

From your perspective, what was the value of continuing beyond the ons?

Hmm. Well, i didnt know until years later that i was supposed to be a ONS

I also hadnt had a real relationship. Like, not at all

We got along well, he was nice, same interests, etc. And then i didnt think i could or should not continue

Ok, thank you

What else?

I take it your relationship is not really close now. You even mentioned no sex on the honeymoon. Is that right?

You're correct. I can also tell you exactly how many times since we've been married

That must be a kinda low number I'm guessing

Yes

So do you know what changed? You seemed to enjoy each other's company for a while

A few things, and i know a decent amount of them. If there are more then i dont fully know them

Still enjoy company for the most part, i guess. But that's neither here nor there

If things get to the unpleasant point do you want to know before i say?

The way he or i are painted in this saga

No, just tell it like it is.

Okay, I will

Thank you.

That's all from me for now.

Welcome to your not working Monday evening

Thanks. You too?

Did i answer what you wanted? I really dont know if you were asking more or different

Same with the other night's line of chat

You absolutely did, yes.

Besides wanting to know you better, it's helpful for me to understand how you came to be in a similar place with respect to your relationship with your spouse.

Of course our stories are not much alike, yet we both find ourselves in this, may I say perverse situation where we have to hide things from our partner. Do you agree?

And moreover, I know I've shared things with you that literally no one knows. No one else but you and me and I'm not ashamed of those things, and I feel so light knowing that you have this knowledge and yet you are still here.

I agree wboleheartedly. And there's more that's very very similar

And a shitty thing, for me at least, is I will be judged very harshly for this someday. Will I care is another matter

How do you mean?

The most simplistic answer is my wedding vows. Broken. Lied. Cheated.

I don't want to invent a paranoid story around this but I don't see getting outted going well for me no matter what I've been told. I get raked as it is for stupid little things.

Okay. I understand. You're positive you'll be outed one day?

No

Not positive

And honestly I'm not thinking about that either for the most part, but this is something I think I have to be aware of

Okay

You can call it off whenever you want

I'm not looking for that, just to be clear

Okay

I don't want us to have secrets

We have until stories, that's fine

Untold

Oh. I like that a lot better

And we are working through those. There is obviously a lot to go through. This is all fine.

Okay, thank you

But subversion is no bueno

I would like to ask 2 things of you then, at this time

Absolutely. I am an open book for you!

Before those, are you still in a train of thought? I'm working on interrupting less

Thank you! No, I actually got to the closer I wanted there

You're sure?

Positive

First is that i need you to swear up and down that no matter what i tell you, you won't act on it without talking with me

NGL that is a bit tough. But if those are the conditions, I will swear it

This can be a negotiation

I worry about your safety. That's where this is coming from.

Say more

I don't want to find out that you hurt yourself. I mean going forward. What you may have done in the past is part of your story and I want to know about it. But please, not part of your future

I can mostly agree to that

I will swear to bring my action to you first, and have faith that the worst possible outcome is not going to happen

I think you wont get to this place in my mind, so I'll explain a little more if you'll be okay with it

As you wish--sorry I didn't mean to derail your questions

I dont think you did

Meanwhile farm boy fetch me that pail

Lol

You're clear that I've cut before, yes?

Yes

And you can ask what you want in this. Anything goes

And you're clear I've hurt myself in other ways physically?

Not if you mean intentionally

Yes, and unintentionally

That makes me unsure how much or how seriously you think any suicidality was

I haven't estimated it, other than to believe the seriousness is non-zero--enough for me to worry

I don't know how to continue with this conversation. I want to, i dont know how to

It's ok. You don't have to

Do you want me to stop?

I have a bizarre question now too

I want you to stop if you're not cool with continuing. Maybe some other time is better

I literally dont know how to make the words go together in a cohesive way is all. And i dont want you to hear too much too fast or start panicking

It's ok, really. Let's park this one and come back to it later

Okay

So you have questions veritably piling up

Yes but it's not as many as usual and some i cant ask yet

Would you like to know about the heat death of the universe?

Sure

I can't explain it really well. But over the course of the next 10^gazillion years, there are predictions that super massive black holes will consume all matter in the universe

But it gets worse

Due to Hawking radiation, the black holes will emit all that matter back out as incoherent atoms, which will be spread so thinly that they cannot form larger structures

But it gets worse

The atoms will lose energy and eventually decompose into their consistent quarks and such.

And the universe will be nothing more than a vast place with nothing meaningful in it

The first time I got my head around this I was dumbstruck

The good news is, in terms of when this will all happen, the universe is but a newborn baby, with almost all of its life ahead of it

Physics can be profound sometimes

Physics is literally everything and its meanings

I would say it's everything and its definitions. It's up to philosophers to impart meaning

It alls ends up meaningless

Strangely enough.

And yet we are here. Questioning its origin. Opining on its future. Wondering why are we even here to wonder about it. I find this line of thinking very intriguing

It's like there is a truth that cannot be known

Yes

This is how i think when i get really depressed

Does that make sense?

It does honestly. And I'm sorry to have chosen this gloomy topic

Yet, as much as we want to know why all the fuss, there can't be an answer. Accepting that can actually be liberating.

Kind of. I mean, yes. I have more on that for when we continue the aforeparlayed conversation

I will say one more but, and then I think you should ask me something

One more bit

The answer is there is no why. So there is no point in putting energy into that one. It would be like asking what is the mpg of an electric car. It's a silly question, if you will.

Instead, we can ask what can we do to be our have or go to what we want, and choose

Now you

May i please have a topic?

Lol I thought you had questions

I kind of have one in mind but meh. Maybe a few

I alllllllways have questions

Do you want it about you or about you as related to me?

The latter

Hmmmm

If we assume i get pleasure from everything and a night is allllll for you, what do you want? Anything goes. Everything. Enthusiastic consent across the board

Do you know what I'm asking?

Hmm I think I do understand

Right now, I would say I want to spend all night with you. Have some dinner. Have some drinks. And get high and fuck all night, maybe sleeping little bits between. I mean fuck so much that the next day, we can't even think about sex until like 7pm or something

I realize this may seem "ordinary" or conventional, but this is the thing I am 100% sure of

Does this surprise you at all?

A little actually

But to keep me entertained....

What acts are included solely for you?

You get everything you could ever want

Because i want it too

I mean I could just enumerate all the things we did or tried, and maybe a couple I didn't get to. We didn't do costumes (school girl anyone) so put that on the list.

I'm not looking for trapezes and chains and asphyxiation here. I wanna fuck your brains out plain and simple

And actually cum this time

In my mind, we didnt do a ton. Am i wrong? What did we try and not do?

I am so so sorry this all sounds dumb. I literally dont understand but I'm trying

I think I'm getting to understand something but idk

How long does sex normally go?

I can give you my normal, that's all I know

I would say primo sesh perhaps 90-120 min, including a good hour of warming up, making out, oral sex, etc, and a nice long duck

Lol the duck!

Yes definitely bring your best 🦆

And then do all that again in a few hours

Oh, service is back!

Hurray!

That's good to know. Thank you

Make sure it's the right kind of duck tho. A cute one.

Ofc

No ruffled feathers

Nope. Youuuuuu ruffle them

Heh

What else?

I want to know what you want to tell me

What are you aching for me to know?

Guess what I did when I worked in the toxicology lab at MSU? hints: it was very naughty, and not at all sexual

Drugs

Close! 1/2 point

Etoh

Ooh--close and related to a different incident lol

Freed animals

Sadly it was too late for them

I need hints

Improper use of equipment

Test tube shot glasses

Dark room film work

Good guesses, but no

Sterilizing non standard issue stuffs

Using mounted insects for a prank

Lolol

I am far too pure of mind for this, obv

Sweet and innocent here

Alright

Dna tests

False results for Maury

So first, I was trained in a variety of specimen preps for diagnosis analysis

Okay

This was the vet tox lab btw

One summer I was growing a couple of pot plants at my apartment

Oooh nice

And one day I thought to myself you know? I've watched (dude) fire up the GC/mass spectrometer. I bet I could do that

So I brought some leaves in one weekend

Worked up the entire extraction and, shot it in the gcms.

I confirmed! THC present! Woo

For science!

What I did not know was is my dilution was like 1000x too strong

That ducking gcms cranked out THC over the first few specimens on Monday before (dude) was like this is not right

Three people asked me about it over that week. I denied knowing a ducking thing about it

Hahahahaha

Until?

It was forgotten

I contaminated a$100000 piece of equipment for FunZies

I thought you were supposed to be a terrible liar?

They were able to clean it out tho

I am a terrible liar. I'm almost sure they knew I was lying

Gotcha

Well msu sgonna be msu lol

Related.. I did bring home about 300 ml of ethyl ether and got "drunk" on it

And not die?

It's about the same feeling, but way way more stinky

I was dosing carefully lol

Otherwise I was a really good worker there. I just loved it and I got to help out on the diagnostic side as well as with pesticide research that was funded by money ordered by a court arising from a lawsuit of the people of Hawaii vs Monsanto or some such

Very very cool

So pineapples are safe, I guess

Lol okay

Depends so much on what you mean

The lawsuit had something to do with an unapproved use of the pesticide. I can't remember what it was

The people were all like NOT MY PINEAPPLES! And won in court

Yes

Pineapple is contains papain

It's a meat tenderizer

Too much will dissolve a body

Thats why enough makes your tongue feel weird

So again, not tooooooo safe lol

It's also THE swinger symbol

Right? Lol. Pineapples ftw!

All things in moderation, you know

Except the next time I sleep with you, there will be excessive sex

Pineapples or no

Please

So what else?

You tell me

Do you like my silly stories?

Yes, I do

Do you like mine?

Most definitely

null

You can hopefully make it the dime -sized divot in the center

A short..... scar?

That is my left shin btw. Yes,a scar, sitting below the surrounding skin a bit

I hit myself in the leg with a hatchet when we were camping

Hurt like a sob

Ohhh my

null

"left a mark"

That's a long one!

Not my longest!

Do I see two scars?

At least

But youve defffffinitely seen the longest overall lol

Where they flipped you inside out

I feel like that should be an obvious yes to me...

Anyway, the +2 organs

Lol aaaand service is gone lol

Yeah I'm thinking that was not done with a laparoscope

More like a Labrador

Nope. Only 2 of my scar sites are from laps

10 scars / 2 laps

All small ish

Whew

Within not that many months of each other

Well I hope you got that out of your system, if you don't mind the pun

Lol

Only ever had 3 ? Things removed

Well that's two more than me

I am not counting wisdom teeth either lol

Ah, me neither

What are you missing?

Foreskin

C'mon you knew that one lol

Kinda

Not my choice at the time

True

I dont think you can name my removals

I did not count teeth or skin or tissue

Transplants don't count??

They do not remove your native organs

Oh damn, 4

Holy shit really. I did not know that

Yep.

But 2 of mine are kinda the same. Different surgeries

Oh. That might actually double that then too oops

Do I hear 7? Anyone? 8? Thank you sir!

Ok

Gall bladder

1

Spleen?

Nope

I am rapidly running out of guesses here

Lol

2, one each eye, lens with replacement

Ok crap

Help me understand that with your left eye

Which led me to question if vitrectomies count as removals because it isnt teeth of skin or tissue, more like gel

Ok, the left one doesnt see

So... Lens because why? For a more normal appearance?

I had cataracts taken out when i was 13. Maybe 14.

Taken out and replaced with artificial lenses. Technology at the time and my cataracts were from excess sugar (not from age) so the lattice was different i guess

So both eyes got cut into, lens ripped from happy focal muscles, replaced with artificial lens inside my eye, stitched up

June and august right after i turned 14

Separate surgeries

And i saw well enough after that recovery except not habing focal power, which was standard for 1999/2000

And then away at school for college i all of a sudden had weird huge black spots that never went away and were straight in my line of sight. They never moved around or anything

Anyway, that's what retinopathy is and i sat through a literal full day of eye testing and (details redacted for time) and eventually the solution was needing a vitrectomy in each eye after like a year of steroid shots in my eyes that wasnt helping or maintaining

Both eyes were fine for a while but idk how long. Then I only ever gained vision back in my right eye full term

That all happened in my early/early-mid 20s

This just brought up a really weird and not good memory. Really vivid too. I might need to be quiet for a sec. Might need you to distract. Unknown.

Okay let's change topic

I have always been really good with maps and finding things

123 rue de grenelle

Paris france

75007

Until it recently got torn out I could show you the exact apartment at Spartan Village at ages 4-5

1416A was the number

Very cool

1418B

Then 4804

Door codes lol

I have been back and forth to Kalamazoo so many times I've probably taken every conceivable route

Nice!

My mother grew up outside Erie, Michigan, which is between Toledo and Monroe. Strausburgh road, just off M223. I don't remember the number, but could draw you a plan of that house and the acreage. I have not seen that place in 25 years

Orienteering is such a lost art

And cartography

Did I mention rose lake?

There are some nice quiet places there, just saying

I love maps

I know rose lake lol

Kinda

Love love love them

Then i have something to show you

I used to want to save up to get the most detailed USGS maps you can buy. But then Internet happened and you could see them online.

Then I wanted to save up for a GPS. Then I got a phone lol

null

I've tracked dozens of walks and bike rides with my phone and have all the data that can be plotted on Google Earth or similar

Hey!

Watcha got there

What does it say?

What moght this be, framed here?

null

Oh geez is that another atlas chilling on the laundry??

null

At least more up to date than this one

null

Aw shit, is that ANOTHER cache of maps still to be framed ??

null

Lol

I sounded it out

I misunderstood what I was looking at... Thought it was CDs of maps

??

Nice collection!

Nope, a literal tote of maps i have from places ive been

Thanks

That is so fun

Remember the other day how i was going to say something impressive before you came back here?

Yeah!

It was more impressive the further back by even just a few years but anyway

Aside from one article of clothing, literally one because i wasnt wearing panties, everything i have, house and car and pets and whatever included that can be tangible, was in the last 7ish years at most

And to add to that, gofundme can only be designated to one person/entity

And living with an immediate relative does not permit a renter's insurance policy in most cases in this state

So.

Right.

That is wild

I do forget that was only a short while ago

Yep

Anyway, i made dis. All dis. Lol

Yes! And here you are

Indeed

I am glad you are here

😊

I'm glad you're here

Idk why you thought picking me was a good idea, but I am glad you did

Me too

Why did you pick me?

You're going to hate my answer lol

Nope

Because you asked

That's almost always my answer

Lol I can put some context around that

Only if you want

I have been in the process of resigning myself to a reclusive, sexless life with a morbid goal--to outlive my spouse. For all few years now.

COVID made the reclusive part really easy, and I rolled with it. I don't dig social scenes for the most part any way

Sexless, practically a done deal

The rest is just waiting

I imagine that sounds terrible

And who knows, I may be surprised

But I do not think her future is bright

And go goes my own

It does not surprise me but I'm sorry it's your existence right now

So yes, I'm wanting what I can't have after all

And maybe I see "life is too short" in a new way

One I did not see in the realm of possibility

And here you are, all cute, and smart and and serious, and deep, and funny, and wicked smart, and fucking hot AF.

What is a boy to do?

Many many answers

Kind of a rhetorical question, but yeah

That podcast I told you about. I have not been able to get it out of my mind for 1.5 years

I don't know if you remember me telling you

Refresh, please?

I am in marriage where only one partner is functional

Ohhhhhhhhhh yes

But I can't/don't want to lose who I am for want of want I can't have

That's basically suicide, supporting terminal illness in solidarity

That is madness

A little hyperbolic perhaps, by my telling of the story, but still

I am in very much the same state, if different

It does appear that way to me

And until she gets her head fixed--if that is possible--i have that unpleasant feature on top of the rest

What else has there been?

All the snipey weird conversations I've alluded to. It's not a constant thing. We are civilized most of the time. Hell I don't even mind being a domestic servant. But she gets in her head that I'm intentionally trying to make her life difficult it's just nuts

I'm really sorry

Ty

The good news I guess, is my reflexes are getting really good, and I can usually shut down those things quickly any more. But that solution is just putting distance between us, and resentment in me. But it's better than dealing with a tantrum because, day, I forgot to renew her driver's license

Yes that's right

Fucking tirade because I forgot

Her license

I dont have words for that

It seemed bizarre of course until I figured something out. And I confronted her with it too confirm

She actually thought I did that deliberately to screw her over

She admitted that

Dis you have a response?

I try not to throw the word crazy around but wtf is it?

Of course I did--why on God's green earth would I even do that?

And then I remembered what I actually did forget

I tried to renew, but the online process asks a lot of questions I could not answer and wanted Affidavits I was not comfortable making. So I stopped, had 6 more beers, and the memory was flushed

So

Now I've shared one of these. We get about one per week. Not all that wild, but all have some have of distrust

I stopped writing them down after a while

Better to simply forget

Well

I feel like I'm yelling at you

You are nit

Not in the slightest

That's me, the louse lol

What else would you like to say?

That is all about that, for now anyway. I do want to say more, but I would rather be with you. When I say it

Can you say why?

For information purposes, it makes me think whatever you will say next will be negative to, for, or at me

It's because I don't know how it will be received, and I'd rather be able to actually talk in real time, have to face

Face to face

Okay

Still nervous, but okay

Are you upset because I'm also crazy?

Not in the least

And I don't like that diagnosis either

Okay. Fair

There is a huge difference

I just have an enormous amount of issues

You do indeed

Which i am sure you've guessed a lot of but maybe not all but then again maybe

I believe it

There is a difference though

She has a freight train full of issues too

But for whatever reason, we cannot discuss trivial things, like, what kind of mattress to buy? Because she doesn't trust me. And if you think that sounds weird, it is. Now, do you think I can bring up our sex life?

No way

I cant here either

Because I will be cruel to remind her that she is broken

And instantly make that conversation about herself

And she can't this, or that, and she's trying, and am I taking to girls in the office???

I got shit because David likes to group chat with Cristin and me

WHO IS CRISTIN

DO YOU EVER TEXT HER SOLO

real convo above

So now I am cheating fr (absolutely not before) so it's a little more complicated, but I ran out of fucks. Plum fucking out

Exhale

Crikey

Are you okay?

Yeah, I am

Are you sure?

Yes, I'm ok really.

I've told these stories so many times to myself, they're getting boring almost

I didn't want to unload all that on you because I didn't want you to, well idk really. I didn't want this to be about the icky spouse who, if I'm honest, is not at her best rn

It is always okay to share whatever you want or dont want or need

Thank you for telling me

You're welcome

So I think I've painted a decent likeness of the worst of times around here. It's definitely not always like that. We also have our own spaces, and mostly get along. I can tell she's trying not to assume I'm out to get her, sometimes

That's good, i think

But I don't know where this is going either. She's not bouncing back from setbacks like a spring chicken

And I'm not afraid of issues

We all have them

Do you? For real

But let's be decent and empathetic at least

Yes I'm a whiny entitled bitch

No

I absolutely disagree, even if you were joking

Ok

Well I do have a wide jealousy streak that I've been monitoring for about a month now

It's actually much less than it used to be

Dare i ask more?

Sure...I used to twist my guts into knots hearing my GF/wife so much as talk about another man. I've ruined a few good times doing that and causing a scene

I can stop

No please don't censor yourself

This is far less than it used to be

I need to learn how to hear appropriately

I dont know a better way to say this

Except for one person, kind of 2, every story with every partner of mine has ended negatively

So it's not like I'm thinking of good things you should be jealous of if or when i say anything

I get it

Two thoughts in response

I think the negative outcome is not a given. I know it happens a lot. But if we're up front with each other we should be able to avoid the things that can build up and cause break-down

I am finding out a lot about how much I've grown up lately. Many things that I choose to suffer for in the past are simply unimportant now, or less so. jealousy is one of them

I cant say if it's growing up, but ive learned, and that's really evident with what i say and how i act and things with you

Aren't we both lucky? I feel that way

Yes

And less than yes

But yes

I might know the less than part, but would you say why?

Lots of reasons. I'll call them all "history"

Ahh. I was thinking about the present, not the past.

Well yes

That starts in the past

Your reason, i think

And mine, i just labelled it differently

😊

I think i might be getting better with my panic attacks

Just as an aside

Yay! Let's keep working on that. Get you some nice endorphin releases

Yes but also some different ones

I don't think youre aware of when i was about to not be great at the not panicking tonight. That's good.

It's good I wasn't aware?

I think so

Was it the eye topic or me not wanting to continue ranting about my wife? One of those?

Was one of those what?

The time when you were " not about to be great .."

No, i dont think so

And i dont know how you keep being able to not have me stay peeking down the rabbit holes like i would normally do

Idk. I just like you I guess

Typically i would (being honest here) give myself some hurt or zone out and down reliving things or asking dumb what-if type questions or trying to see what i missed or a lot of other things

Or I'd just really suddenly be a bitch til it was a lost cause rrying to stop it

Right. How'd that work for you?

Jury's still out on that. I was more productive and felt more like myself, i can at least say that. I don't really know how to do a lot of what's happening right now

Ok that's fair

I'm not some bastion of mental health here just so you know

Always learning

thiat were you hoping for as a reply? Or what would your reply (as me) have been if you predicted it?

First word is "what"

A lightbulb moment perhaps. But maybe we need to clear some more cobwebs first

Yes

But now there are also a few things i dont know if i can or should say because i dont know how okay youll be hearing them

Oh!

That sounds a lot like the situation I was in a while back. Why don't we save that for another day when we can be together

I think the hard bits will be easier that way

What do you think?

Maybe

I really want to tell you some things but i think they'll make you too sad

Dude you're killing me here

You can tell me that and then not tell me!

"Not now" is acceptable

Besides

I'm going to be sad at some point no matter what. Don't know why, don't know when. I'd much rather be with you when it happens instead of, say in my basement crying because I've convinced myself you're a suicide risk

That last part is ambiguous to me

I think probably it's an in person thing, so nvm for right now

I have thus far told you what 2 people had done. It's still very subjective if either of those are the "worst" offenses. You already know that right?

Yes, and thank you

For what?

Saying nvm for now

Oh, okay

BRB 5

Okay, good luck

I'm back

That was like 5 seconds lol

Knowing that what you know may or may not be the worst, im curious for what has come to your imagination for what could have been worse

Idk
I can't really

Rape is where my head went pretty early

Your text confuses me

I honestly don't want to cook up answers to that. I was convinced there was something in your past. That evolved into believing it was tape. I did not conjure up scenarios, or scenes, or anything specific

Tape, rape
Phone does not like a word

I'm just trying to listen, and learn.

One sec

And I don't continue to dream up possibilities, and cryptic questions like that are very confusing to me

Ok

Sorry, was interrupted

I think I have a more direct answer

Ok

Can I think of something worse? Yes

But I will not, because I don't like horror movies.

But I still want to hear what you want to tell me, no matter what it is.

What's up buttercup

Let me try and explain why i was confused.

I am breathing really intentionally because i feel bad for having been confusing and i thought i had been really clear.

I have a really, really hard time with that word. I literally cannot say "rape" for anyone. So i default to putting "SA" because it somehow makes it not as bad in my brain. Like I should think of it nicer. I need to work on that.

So. Spelling it out

Those 2 I've told you were rape. That's why your text confused me, because i thought that was already clear that that was kind of THE whole thing of my past

I'm sorry about that

And then i got more confused because anyone else in that list of 8 "worst" that i count is also rape

If we downplay to sexual assault and i include less bad things like just being forced for some things and not others (like if we were going with degrees in a court of law) there would be lesser offenses but 8 are unquestionable to me even though i get questioned enough on enough of them

So i wont tell you more stories for right now, but what questions do you have?

Ok I really appreciate what you told me it clears up some things for me

And I should have known better to be more careful with my language. I will from now on

It doesn't bother me if you use it

It's exceptionally hard for me

I understand

I wish I could give you a hug rn

I feel really mean for saying that stuff above

Like i slapped you in the face

You were not mean.

I think we were both a little frustrated and confused

Yes

Now it's out

I had also been operating under the assumption that you knew this before we were in dewitt too

Maybe

At least for a few weeks

We only knew each other for a couple weeks (:

Yep

Well

Are you feeling better all

I dont really know

My mind is a little bit darting right now

Can I help

Maybe

It would be better in person

Maybe

But i also couldnt have said this in person

Ok

Said that which i had said above, rather

I follow

I can't tell what is new information for you

You don't need to worry about that. I'm listening and learning

I do not know another existence, and I feel like all i have ever been and will be is this giant mess of trauma and assaults and abuse and i dont know what to do with that feeling

I would like to help if I can. Even if it's just to hold you when you are scared, or lonely, or down, or tired

And tell you that you are a really cool person

Who has bad things done

That she did not and does not deserve

That you deserve to be loved

And love the way you want to

I really, truly appreciate all of that

To me, some are definitely not my fault. After attracting so many, it has to be something that I'm doing or have done or i dont know but this is not normal

I look back and i tried and i asked and i pleaded and begged for so much help and it always failed

I literally measure how old i was for stuff going on in normal everyday life based on who had done what nonconsensually right before or after or at the same time something else was going on

And because it's in my head all the time just replaying and trying to rewrite or maybe make sense or find the key moment or find a reason or anything at all, it's consumed everything about me

I am tracking all that

Guess what

What?

I am not going to follow that model

Do you know my knee jerk reaction to that?

I might guess

Which i actively talk down, btw

"that's what that all say"

Verbatim

But for my typo anyway

Yeah

Thanks for giving me a try

Ditto

I just don't have it in me to be those people

I'd rather jump off a bridge than do half the things you've told me about

I believe that

But to me i havent told you too much and so then i get mixed up

Because everything to me is/has been "normal" or at least common

It's ok. I hope we can redefine normal for you

Me too

I want to try

Okay

I want to let you

That is the best thing I've heard today

I know what i really want too

Got a little misty ngl

Just now?

Yes

I'm sorry

Dont be. It made me happy

Oh okay I'm glad

😊

You accepted my offer

I did

So I'm happy

Then you were going to tell me what you really want

Yes

I want to have really good, great sex, if that's ever still an option

I want to relax and have fun doing it and not wonder if i look fat or stupid or worry about finishing or not or if im wet enough or if you really want to be doing what you are because you like it or because you want me to reciprocate better than you're doing. I want to drink and be silly and maybe high without worrying about my safety. I want to be okay if my body makes weird noises or has day or week old hair growth or if I'm wearing socks or not because no one will shame me for any of it and there arent expectations but there is fun

You are in luck!

If we can find the time& place, I guarantee all the rest for free

Because I also want to have great sex with you, and for me that's about having a great time with you, not all those judgy things, and we can get high if you want, or not, is ok! I just want you and your infinite cuteness and your passion and your hot body and to hold you while you rock and quiver

I want you to have fun too! I want you to get off doing what you want on and in me. I really can't tell you that enough

Oh and I do look forward to that

Your gonna make me have wet dreams now lol

I want you to very literally explore me. Show me things. Tell me what you feel and why and how you think i like it and what made you think that way. Ask questions. Ask what would make it better

It will be so fun! I will love doing that with you!

Thank you thank you thank you!!!!

Make me your fuck toy!

I'm asking you to be the toy and the observer lol

Oh goodie!

I hate to say I need to drop off

I'm fading out

I am really excited to see you... I hope we can soon

Oh thank gods!

I am also fading fast

And can't wait to see you

Ok lover please sleep well
I love you babe

I love you too

More now than before too

Excellent ♥️

2024-10-01T06:10:41

null

null

💓

Idk but I was curious about the pineapples lol

Curious?

How are you babe

And yes I was curious about the pineapple icons/emoji. They looked fancy

I am okay thanks. Just woke up. Kinda oww but idk why. Might give this cbd cream a go. Feeling positive in general

And you?

Good! I'm feeling pretty good

Creaky back stuff but I'll work that out soon enough

Doin my end of month spreadsheets

Psht must be nice

You too can have spreadsheets!

I typically do!

I lack new information to their fulfill needs and purposes

You may think I'm nuts but I track every account balance every month for over 10 years now

For you personal life, yes?

Yes. Helps me understand when I might be able to retire

Can you believe I'm even talking about that?

Doesnt aound nuts. Sounds woefully responsible

Kind of, but that's a different train of thought

Enjoying the process?

Oh yeah I turn data into insight... It's what I do irl

How do you like to wake up? Not with data,I presume

Can i have examples? Yours, please

And.... i have a term for you to look up later. Sapiosexual. Very relevant, lop

*lol

Hmm!

Well

I was thinking maybe a little coffee, a little lounging in bed, and a nice, gentle fuck sesh

To set the mood for the day

Do you get pokey nipples in the morning?

Sounds like a mostly fantastic way to wake up!

I've never paid attention lol

Well you can expect I will pay attention

I will measure them

With the tongue test

Do you know that one?

You lick them?

More like flick, but yeah that's the idea

We can also do the suck test

Maybe that test works on other areas too!

Oh yes! They are quite versatile

Better try

For science, ofc

For science ♥️

I like the new word btw

Dang it why does 800 get here so early

No kidding

How about whyyyyyy am i responsible for waking someone up when I'm the chronically ill one and they opt to work earlier than i do and then not charge their phone so it's the stairs saga again and then the pets because they like me better and then can i do this or that and hey we dont have these unhealthy groceries i want and every god damn day

Sorry

OMG you live with a fifteen year old!

Disagree

I was pretty responsible at 15

You are an exceptional person

If i wanted children i would have made them an option

Actually he sounds a lot like her ex... Always blaming anyone else for his problems

It's different. Cant say of better or worse

But i digress

Any shiny happy topics?

I ordered my shelves today!

Thanks for the Menards lead...I kind of block them out as an option (unconsciously), but I'll allow it this time :)

Hurray!

Why block them?

Owners are Christian fanatics

I mean all the big box shops are deplorable, but some stand out more

But I do appreciate the lead! That item appears to me to be the exact same thing I found at HD with a different brand name on it. Probably made in the same factory

Yes. And yes. Forgot about the owner thing for a hot second

Also why i won't shop satan store crafts and havent ever tasted chix for jesus

Yes. And yes. Forgot about the owner thing for a hot second

Also why i won't shop satan store crafts and havent ever tasted chix for jesus

Chix for Jesus 😂

Sent twice. Weird

Sent twice. Weird

Which one is Satan store?

Hoblob

I am not in a good mood

How do i change this please?

null

Does this camera make me look fat?

Not even a little

Ok thx

Thx

I could send a door dash your way with a clown or something

Lol thanks

Maybe with you

Sure. 10:00 work for you?

I wish

I could put on my strap on


Nose

Strap on anything you want

Some other time

What if I posed as Beaselybub and called Loren. I'll tell him I need him to meet a prospect in Marquette ASAP

It's only an 8 hour drive

I can do a decent imitation, and it is not flattering

Hahahahahaha

Except L has his number and L doesnt recruit anyone

Omg

Guess what today is!?

No cheatsies

Jimmy's 100th

And my sister's 52nd

And veggie day iirc

Well I'll tell L this is a super secret assignment and there's a promotion for him if he doesn't bollocks it up

Big promotion

Big, with a B

Oh crap my labial fricative is showing again

Fuckkkkkking hot

Speak nerdy to me anytime you want my panties moist and dropping to the floor

I'd still rather you take them off me though

😘

Just you wait

That act in itself is fucking fire

We are going to have a little labial training

Bbbbbbbbbbb

Now, with extra tongue!

Yay! 🎉

Bbbbby the way

Ddddddo you have a button-up shirt? Preferably white?

Yes

??

Fucking aye right

It is a hot look, esp with no bra

I want the bra

Looks pretty and makes you wait

And play more

Bur please god undress me in buttons

Ok I'll allow it

I need to be played with

Maybe teased a little

Relished

Anticipated

Drenched

Lol

Feeling mildly better now

Ooh I like the way you verb

It's not for just anyone

I like verbing you

I like the way you verb me. And i like verbing you.

Okay okay okay questions

When you were verbing me, on top of me, were you just enjoying? You seemed so happy and like you could go on forever without a goal

Does that make sense?

You are so smart!

That fulfills none of my curiosity lol

It is kind of funny (weird) for me, but since the SNRI and I've had some problems getting to orgasm, the sensitivity is still there, and maybe even more so

So yes, I love the process! I love being with you and inside you. I love seeing you and hearing you. I can still have a good time. And it's just that much better when I actually can get off

Fuckkkkkkk

I dont think there's a way for me to explain to you how odd and different this is to/for me

But it's fantastic

Even if i dont understand

Like, you kept talking and everything

Lol sweet baby

??

I can do cave man if you like!

Anyway I am glad you liked it! This will only get better as we practice

I dont think you can do cave man

I really dont

But then some of my own reflections based on some responses of yours yesterday were... astounding

Say more?

I asked how long a sesh lasts for you

I couldn't think of any of mine that were close to yours

In fact, i know that some have been less than 45 minutes from clothes on at the front door to clothes back on and goodbye

That's been much much much more of my typical experience

Let's change that!

I mean unless we need to be quick bc we're in the copier room or something

Or an office with a remote light switch and frosted doors that lock

Or whatever

Lol

Btw did I get today's date right?

Yes!

You got distracted lol

I knew it was Jimmy's bc my sis shares the date. Reddit told me it was his 100th this morning. Helluva guy

Yes

I meant international veg day

Ah yeah that's right. Today we host the veggie dog flag and proudly display our lettuce cape wraps for all to salivate over

Lettuce is merely a vessel for tasty fats lol

I'm going as a cucumber HBU?

I agree with your statement btw

I am tomato

Slurp...

Ketchup = smoothie?

Correct on so many levels

Hmm. Curious

Ready for a question/request that's a little bit pensive for you?

Is it? Is it thinking time

It is 👍

Lol

I have an unspeakable need to make and procure something(s) for you

I am as yet unclear what they may be

Please think & describe

Also, may be dying. Does not feel good while trying to function

Wait what??

The dying?

An overexaggeration but i do not like how i feel rn

Oh I'm sorry. Did you eat?

Yes

It's a very sudden wave-wall but idk why

Well goodness what is the matter?

Dizzy swirly sleepy lightheaded weak spacey

Eww

Like, what am i even supposed to do? My eyes keep being weird too and I'm breathing funny. I have no clue what's happening

This is just out of the blue?

Yes

Cool cool. Now I'm just laying on the floor after getting yelled at

This is great.

Ohhhh I'm so sorry

It is what it is

I asked for help and i didnt have an immesiate answer for how to help so it makes m3 frustrating and annoying

:(

Yeah

Dude, i cant do this anymore and i have zero options

And i feel weak AF for not going hard enough at this but i absolutely hate kt

Can we tell Kirby you need to sign out for a bit

Idk

I hate not being able to do what I'm supposed to

I really do feel like I'm having teenage girl whiny tantrums because i just can't keep going with this and i have nothing left

I put myself out for now

It sucks

I didn't kkow how fucked i was in my head and it's all ocer everything

What is all over everything

Just my mess of brain and my stressings

Are you still dizzy

Yes. I went into the next room so i could lay flat

Fuck. I hate this

I'm really sorry

Ok no apology needed

Cold towel for your face? Would that help

Hey how are you?

I hope you are napping. Lmk what's up when you can ♥️

Hey

Really sorru about that

You're back!

I am

How are you doing

Okay. A little better

Whew

Had me worried

Im sorry

Did you sleep

For a quick minute yeah

Breathing ok

Yeah

Okay

Good

Quite a spell for you!

No solid evidence but i think it was just pre panic

Another day, another mental breakdown

:(

Work or something else?

Yes

I'm sorry

It's okay

But thank you

I think this weekend approaching is really setting me off a lot

But also work

You are anxious about the weekend?

Yes

I havent told you the plans yet

Oh ok

It is L's birthday. He likes my mother's lake house. We are headed up there Thursday after work and will return Monday evening

No cable or internet or anything/anywhere i can go. Not even a sidewalk (but yes a beach).

I would also rather use that time for so much else in addition to the anxiety of being velcroed to someone for 4 days

That house is a collection of "nostalgia" and clutter and tony shrines to past people and times i would rather not have constantly blasted in my face

Oh

Sorry

Me too

You seem disappointed

That just sounds like a shitty time for you

I'm not sure I would have been able to do anything this weekend, but that's better than being dragged off to purgatory

It reminds me a lot of how I feel about going to mil's sometimes

Thanks

Hugs

Thank you

Just told someone that today is nuts (at work) and they said "what's nuts about it?"

null

Well that looks tasty, Missy tomato

Indeed

Cheezez

I approve

Thanks!

Do you like grilled cheese?

Most definitely!

The best secret is to add a teensy bit of shreddded cheese to the outer bread sides once youve applied the butter/mayo, then that gets crisped on

In fact I just added slicing cheese to my grocery list because I saw that sandwich

Awww

That's a cool trick with the shred!

Some of my homemade breads make grilled cheese that is over the moon

Lovely! I like a good hearty tomato basil bread to elevate it. Maybe add spinach and pickled onions

Fancy!

Or how about cheddar bits right in the loaf...

I like to put peppers in too, but I would leave them out for you

Very sweet

I can improve pretty much any kind of yeasted bread, with or without accoutrement. Just let me know what you like

*impvov

Or improve I guess lol

null

I can't remember if I told you but I started seriously baking in 2017 and I've made literally hundreds of batches of bread, rolls, buns, bagels, even pretzels. Mostly improvised

Fantastic!

That's my one talent

All I got for ya

Liesssssss

null

You know it too

Dont you??

Hmmmm?

Oooh questions!

I also love to use special flours. I've used white and wheat ofc but also rye, soy, quinoa,and buckwheat

Nice!

See above l9l

It's all I got dude. I get kneady and then start to get a big rise going. It's very exciting

Think bigger strokes of talent

It's like 10x bigger afterwards. I can barely get it in my mouth

Can't even get my hands around it

I mean you can try if you want

Fair warning: you might salivate a little

Then or now?

Absolutely lol

Back to questions

First time you went down on someone? All details please. And how did you learn?

Sorry David is rambling

What a surprise!

Tell him his bones are wet. And that if you lick a human bone it will stick to your tongue like sandpaper because of how porous it is

And his tongue is older than his teeth

Lol!

True

I have silly but good news

Ok 45 minutes later, David's 5 minute update has concluded lol

Lol

Need anything from the frandor?

Do they have any sweet sexy girls?

Psht tons!

They might be waiting on a text though

Oh ok. Well if you see one in a reflection somewhere let her know I am off the phone.

I hear there might be one at Panera or World Market in just a few

Perhaps already there now

Omg you need these

null

null

Those are cool! I like botanicals.

Et voila les champignons!

Mais bien sur!

In other news I've hauled 100 lbs of junk of my house just now lol

I've been on a cleaning binge the last few days

That's great!

And 7th load of laundry about to be folded

Congrats! Very proud of you

I feel like that may be in store for me later. I dont feel awful anymore and some pain relief has taken control

Want any coffee? Snackles?

I'm glad you feel better!

Thanks!

How's it going there? You're missing a good time!

Oh I did my shopping for the month last Friday lol

I found a relic you might find amusing

That was a different month!

Relic, eh?

null

Dang girl in red in Cleveland the day after my b'day! I was just at that venue in January

And I know a great place to stay

I can makes lottttttts work

Plenty of Great Lakes book clubs, yknow??

Lol!

And Frankie Rose will be in Detroit next week Friday. I think I like some of her songs

Where were all these concerts hiding

I think i like you

You just want my dough

I'm crusty

Im kneady

I'm baked

Im curious

Lololol

I'm not really baked fyi

This is my first week of sober work nights

In too long

I am essentially begging you for us to get really, really high or drunk or both and then fuck out brains out

That cool with you?

That is definitely on the menu

I might eat you alive

B E G G I N G

HOLY FUCK the psychedelic furs are the headliner at Frankie!!!

And Jesus and Mary chain

Damn!

I think you would find me amusing at live shows. I tend to really let go

I don't know how you'd think i am

You haven't had a lot of opportunity

No biggie

At long as you like it

Yes

You still shopping?

I am

What makes interesting shopping in Frandor?

Lots of places, variety, large but small, i can walk around, also has food, idk. No one vats an eye when i come here

I might bat my eyes at you

Flutter flutter

I'll make them close with great fervor in surprise

Oo baby!

You feel welcome to do the same

Surprise me in the best ways

It'll be soooo fun!

What else you got??

A terrible need to take a shower! Wanna sniff?

I just made dinner and I am tapped. Gonna shower and sext with this hot chick I met

I would still lick parts of you

Tell her i said hi!

Oh sure!

Oh maybe she has silly good news for you?

I hope so

You wanna see now or no?

Yeah let's have it :)

null

Yay!

Lol thanks

Silly and stupid but i feel better with results

100%

So i might be a giant slut but at least I'm a clean ish one!

So

You're not gonna be dirty anymore?

Oh please

I'm just not the dirtiest anymore

One of those classy whores

Don't go changing ok

Unsure how much truth is in that

Take your shower

Ok lol stay classy

Ok ron burgundy

Heyyyyyyy

Howaya

Still pretty okay

You?

Much more better

Clean and in clean clothes and clean bed

Thinking clean thoughts

Liar

Idk what you are referring to

Tell me these clean thought

Well my mouth is so clean RN I don't even want to talk or I might get it dirty

Good thing you can use your digits instead

They are as clean as can be. And nails trimmed

I dare not get them dirty

Good thing you told me

Oh I think I owe you an answer

Id hate to tarnish anything

You owe me a few

Lol

Oh!

Well I just inhaled a big so I guess I'm not clean anymore

A bug

Im your bed?

In

Wait-- you are my bed?

Yes

I think you said t that on purpose

Mayhaps

Well the bug was invisible, microscopic. But I'm sure it was there

Ok

Where to begin

What are you in the mood for?

Filth

What were you going to answer?

My first time going down

How's that?

Perrrrrrfect

So this was my late HS-to-college GF.

She has a single mom (entomologist trained in Malaysia), younger bro, and Mom's mom living in the house

All of Chinese heritage

Anyway

Her mom was always out on weekends, hanging with her boyfriend. She actually encouraged the kids to have friends over, so they would be drunk there and not running the roads. She'd even cook for before she headed out

Cool mom basically

And she knew we were fucking

Cool with that too

So where else would I be on a weekend lol

Anyway one night we were watching a movie or whatever, making out

I guess I was fingering her down her shorts and just got the courage to ask if I "could kiss it?"

And so I did, and I think she came?

But I had zero idea what I was doing. I knew what she tasted like well enough from my fingers, but this was a new level of course

She told me I did a pretty good job for first time

And that's the story

Oh--

It was always A possibility that g' ma would come downstairs

She spoke no English

It was hilarious when she did because she'd start washing dishes or whatever and my GF would yell at her in Mandarin.

I learned "wo shi" -- I will wash -- to help usher g'ma back upstairs

Exvellent story time, thank you

No problem!

So you'd already fucked?

Yeah--i think I told you this a while back but she took me by surprise in my own bedroom. I lost my virginity with her on top of me

I sort of knew that story

I will always take more of it

Did you do this through her shorts? Take them off?

I think I pulled them off

This was in the living room.

They had a bunch of plush sectional pieces

Had she had that before?

So I got on the floor and got my face wet

I think so?

She fucked a dude I was band friends with, before me

Btw

Have you been someone's first time for something? What?

That's one moment where my jealousy really got the better of me. When it really sunk in that she had been with him I bawled like an idiot for two hours

It was truly ridiculous

I'm not like that any more

It's okay to be still

Well a little maybe, but that was kinda excessive

Anyway

I've never been anyone's first fuck, but I guess I was a first something or another else

The prior GF, also in HS, felt my fingers on her pussy, a first for her. We were so not up to speed it was funny, but it was pretty hot and I still think about that sometimes.

She was at the only reunion I went to and we actually had a good time

She was also a band chum

And the GF before that, spanning late middle school to early HS ,

I pulled her shirt up and sucked boobs one day--surprised her.

She wrote me a very polite note where she said she really enjoyed my hands on her but she wasn't ready for the oral part yet

It was really cute

Also a band chum

Also at the reunion

Also had a good time

Guess who was not at the Reunion?

Boy band mate?

Other R?

Chinese gf.

Ah

She married a guy in my grad class. He was there, we had been friends before, and we had a great chat

She refused to come with him because she knew I would be there (it was organized via FB)

So I've literally never seen her again

I did get a three page letter from her at some point.

I never read it

Oh

Interesting

One more fun fact

You know at some point i will ask for that story

She and her mom are the reasons I got the tox lab job.

GF was actually getting out of it, but her mom was full time

I literally worked with her mom

My mom literally fucked my friend who dated me for a few. Brother's pal too. And took my pseudo sister's virginity

Sorry, we're happy tonight

Wowser

Lol

My rebound summer fling with the hippie girl was fun too, but not as much as I wanted

She had huge boobs, and one time we went camping I think I spent the entire night with my face between them

We never did fuck though

I know

Yeah

Did you want to say more or next?

One quick add

Strange as this seems, I did not know my way around a pussy, even at that point.

That came later, no pun intended

How did you learn anything? Like, even how to fuck?

Your way wont affect my opinion

I honestly don't know. I'm not sure when or how it happened

And I'm also not sure when I realized that I wanted to do more than just fuck

And figured out that watching girls get off is mind blowing hot

Especially from a distance of 1cm

Anything else you think is mindblowimgly hot that i dont know?

Which part are you 1cm from that you like?

Your clit prolly

Wow

Does my clit look any different or do you just like the splash zone?

I honest have not had a good look at it yet. To dark

You actually want to look look?

I do.

And different than what, may I ask

Actually let me clarify

I'm not talking about like an inspector and gawking

I just want to know what she looks like

Okay

Besides being cute, it helps me understand what my tongue is telling me

Hmm

In my opinion, i feel and come best from the wrong places

I don't think there's any wrong

If you like something else that's cool

I think I'm sensitive in literally the wrong areas. Too different from other girls

Hmm. You seemed like you enjoyed it. Clearly we need to repeat this more carefully

Yes please

Yes indeed

I really love being fingered sometimes. A lot of times

Ohh good

You're the first to honestly give me oral. Like, more than just give a lick or spit so i would be wetter. And that isn't everyone I've slept with.

You're basically my first oral giver

Did you know that?

I actually did not. I'm surprised! Who gets a fat pussy like yours and doesn't want to kiss it???

TF is wrong with ppl geez

It didn't serve their primary purpose

Bah

So i really am confused AF when you're down doing stuff

I hope it's not a bad confused?

No, it's not

Mostly it's great

The other part is literal confusion

I didnt even know oral for any women was possible until pretty late in life

Interesting

I take it 69 is not in your experience either

Correct. I think i tried to try with someone but jist about died suffocating and being compressed

Yipe!

And none of his mouth really touched me, ao there's that

Oh, well shit

I think you'd be perfect on top of me

You can do as you like with me

So I'd be on top?

Absolutely

For just normal sex, do you know why i struggle with being on top?

I sure don't

Oh for real?

I will guess: bc the guy usually does the work and you count holes in the ceiling tiles?

Why would that be a hinderance to me wanting to be on top?

Because it flips the script.

But it sounds like I'm wrong anyway

You aren't wrong there. I'll continue

I dont know what to do

I dont want you thinking of how many rolls i have or my double chin or anything unflattering

I thought it was going to hurt pretty badly. That's not true but i thought wrong

Where does your cum go if I'm on top? Just a giant bucket back out of me and onto you?

I really had to idea what to expect

I don't know how to use lube with another person so knowing how to do stuff if i want it was an awkward thought

♥️

And i didn't have a plan if i couldn't get you in. I always need a plan

What can you say in response?

Everything, I'm just not sure where to start :)

Simplest answer: don't worry

Don't panic

It can get messy, but then so can missionary

With any luck I'm six or seven inches in you anyway

You are always, but always free to lube, toy, finger, whatever you want. Always!

Im not saying this to boost your ego

I think youre bigger

And i was honestly a little worried about what would happen if you were in all the way and there was more left

And it's not unflattering for you. You are beautiful this way

And so are your boobs, which my hands (and mouth) can play with

Well hopefully we proved that I do fit

Obv need repeatable results, for science

For science

So are you willing to go again?

Yesssssss

If you'll go again

And try other new things

Sweet! Yeah!

Don't overlook what I said about lube & such. I'm not going to be weirded out in the least. Same goes for toys

I don't know how for either

How?

Thinking of lube

You have two options. Get a quick schmear, or make a show of it. Put it on me, or put it on you, or put it on everything

Do i ask you to pause?

Or make me do it!

I will make certain you are well covered to ensure maximum comfort

So sliding in is as effortless as it can be

What if I'm too wet after I'm lubed?

Might even practice run with a finger

Are you trolling me lol

No

Because i want you to still feel something enjoyable

There is no. Such. Thing.

Oh, I will feel it

No worries babe

:)

Bc you are still tight. All good

Wish i couldve been your tightest

I mean you might be

I want to be your best everything

You are so sweet

I want you to have sex that is actually fun and makes you want to do it again and again

Hopefully with me

I want that for both of us

I swear these shorts were dry when I put them on lol

Lies

🍆

You know there's a decent amount of stuff we'd do that makes me feel like i failed or am failing?

Like what

You know one

Another is if I cant or dont get wet enough for you

Pssht

It's ok to get accoutrements

It makes me feel old and broken

I think you will feel much better the first time lube turns "oh no" into "fuck yes!"

I get it

Don't worry, I'm not grading you

Okay good

Thanks

Of course

Just want to have fun

With you

And lots of it

Very very same

Side question when you have a sec

And I know you are self-conscious, and that's ok. All you have to do is trust me and work with me. We will do our best together

Here's an odd thought i cant really explain

I want to trust you

Like, hand it all over to y9u

I feel like there's a "but" next

There isnt

I think i do; i have no way of telling

Ok!

Imma do my damn best to handle it with all the care it should have

You deserve that

You can kind of think of it with me as a borderline consensual virgin. Almost every experience with you is new

YOU know what to do and how and what it should finish as and stuff

That is more or less how I'm hearing it. I hope this is super fun for you!

And I will say again... I'm not grading you here.

I know. I want to be your best though

You are already on the path babe

First time is just a little warm up

I have a weird observation, and a little crude

Gasp!

I know, right?

You said you felt me relax inside while i was on top

That was a first time - you basically broke me in to the concept of relaxing

Wowi think that is awesome

It really is

Let's do that more often

Okay!

🥰

null

I am fading fast here

Love the penguin!

Is there more you do with your mouth?

Also fading here. Your fault somehow lol

Lol

More that you didnt yet

Yeah I reckon there is

Really?

There are more places to lick, for sucking,

And we need to practice bilabial fricative

Lol

If it isnt gross, I'm curious about having you suck my clit

I enjoy that tremendously

I think i will

And get a finger in you at the same time... Is usually a good time

I can kind of imagine it

Holy fuck. I know exactly where and what i want that finger to do stuff

Sweet! You'll have to guide me

I was going to say the same

I might build slowly over time rather than keep raw and reactive

Sure! That's a good plan

Please make me cry

A good cry in orgasmic relief

It is my goal now

I know i have that in me. I havent ever seen it

Sounds like catharsis to the max. Let's do it!

It'll break me for a little bit but you'll be there to hold me too

Yes absolutely

You will be safe

It's in my headspace plan for "making love"

Aww I'm so glad you see it that way!

I can't wait

You are spot on

I feel pathetic begging you to love me like that

I havent ever wanted anything more

It's how I want to, so no worries there

I think i am faded now

Backatcha

Me too baby

Sweet dreams lover
I love you!

I love you too

So fucking much

2024-10-02T05:40:39

Hieeee! 😘😘😘

It's earlyyyyyy

How are you?

What are you up to after work?

Hey yeah I woke up early... Another thing that happens when I don't drink I guess

I'm going to pick up that shelf


It was actually delivered to the store the same day! I did not expect it until the weekend

That's good!

How are you feeling?

Sleepy but okay thanks

😊

And you?

Pretty good! Catching up on some financial tracking lol

Nice

Finally able to get paystub data

Woo! Lol

Dont go breaking that!

null

Camo cat

I am raising such a smart boy!

Is he?

He's well read

Already on top of his books today, so yes!

Hee hee!

I need to wash milk bottles.. today is milk day

Back in 10

Enjoy!

😊

Did you say you have to go in to the office today?

And tomorrow

Ick

No shit

Am i correct that you would not like a book rec/loan? Brain still slow. Words not wording

Books are pretty, but I don't really read

Thought that was correct. These would have been for reading

Thank you for being honest!

null

Oh np

This may shock you but I'm considering getting a textbook on signal processing.

I like technical books I might be able to get some techniques from that I can put onto practice with my hobbies

Cool!

I have a reafing secret i havent told anyone yet

Would you like to know?

(Yes, there can be secrets around reading lol)

I'll allow it lol

Take onnnnnnnne guess?

You like bodice rippers?

Fluid dynamics?

Is that a secret?

Also, insure what fluid dynamics are

Hmm

Calculus maybe?

What's a fluid dynamic?


Secret: i haven't read anything in almost 4 years

It's the study of how fluids like wind& water behave and move


YOU WHAT?!

😆

It's true

You fiend lol

Not really

We'll nevertheless to have one of the finest collections I've ever seen

*you have

2024-10-02T08:34:05

Awww thank you!

Youre missing a great time here lol

Kinda fetch looking girl in my office

Heavy eye makeup and a low cut shirt

WhaaaaT!

Right?

So she's cute huh?

I guess so

Let me see her

null

Dayum she's a hottie!

Lol

She's hot because she's beyond burnt out

I did manage to clean some this morning though, so that was nice

Did you figure out what i can procure or make for you yet?

I tell ya I am tough to buy for because I don't really want material things. Except when I do I go to the record store and buy them lol

I will try to think of something for you though

Cause I know you want to

I pick things up when they remind me of someone

So if i knew you loved ceramics and cats i might get you a weird looking cat doorstop if i came across it in the wild

Or if i saw a shirt from that lake i would get it, craft it, and make it yours

Actually, i already have a zip up fleecey thing for you. We can match since i have the same one!

I also want to give you THE BEST services possible, so if that's what you're after, you just say the words

For real. I'm into tons more kinky shit than you'll ever be, so it's 100% beyond okay to inquire or ask

How does a girl know so much about kinks and not know she can ride me all night lol

Well

I do like Culver clothes. I have a sight l shirt my sister picked up there a few years ago.

I also have a few odd cat things

Like this guy

null

Do you know his intended function?

To amuse me?

I have no idea actually

I think he might be paper maché (?). He's very light and I think he's hollow

And i know a lot about kinks because... i talk and listen a lot. I dont know about the rides because it's never been top of a list

In my experience, your cat is a ring holder

Btw, except for i think 2 people, my "partnerships" were only ever 2 or 3 occasions

I feel like you might not have known that

Fair!

We tried a buzzy cock ring once. It was kinda fun for a minute. Then it broke 😁

I have at least one lol

How does one start that? Who puts it on and when and stuff?

I don't remember how it works. A little twist or something. It can be a team effort. Best to get me hard first

Idk if you can

God i hope that's a joke

YES IT IS

Lol okay thanks

hottie

Cross any more finish lines thinking of me?

Not today. Yesterday!

Fucking hot

Absolutely!

Other toys..... and you thoughts please

Did I ask you about clit buzzer?

Sucker I mean

I've seen some very impressive results with them

I tried nipple clamps. I could maybe get used to that, but I'm still kinda sensitive

I have at least one air thing for the clit

I have a lot of (unused) toys

I have something i kind of want to do. It would involve your physicality maybe

If it's possible, i want you to spread my legs as far apart and back as you can, holding my thighs apart and then you enter yourself reallllllly slowly until you're deeper than deep

Fuuuuuuuck

When can we start

Just started my union allocated/mandated break......

So you're cool with holding my legs back?

Oh yes I am

Oh fuckkkkk good

I think you know exactly what i want for thar

I'm fucking squirming here

Fuck

It would be my sincerest pleasure to assist you in this matter

Once you're really in, I'll move forward and thrust my hips up just the slightest to get you angled in just that much more

Ohhhh fuuuuck

I want all of that

Me too

Finding angles is fuuuuun

Yeah?

Yes yes

We can also put your pretty little butt on a pillow to play with angles

Okay!

The thought of squeezing your inner thighs to spread you and hold you back is driving me insane

Good. Me too

Fucking hottie!

Im thinking like a quarter of the way between my knees and my fun zone is the perfect place for you to grasp and push to spread. I'll stretch better based on the pressure there and you can really control me

I'm sweating here lol

I might need to sneak a lick first

Think of the tiny little yips and sharp gasps I'll make while you graze areas ot me that have never been touched by anyone or anything

I like little noises

And creamy thighs

You just got me hard

Brat

Got my boxers wet

Awww so sorrrrrrry

😘

Just the precum? Shame to waste it. Maybe you imagine me getting tighter and tighter before my inner walls clench down on you and release a waterfall so you can have a happier day at work

It was just the pre

Fuuuuuuuck

Better take care of the rest of that

It'll happen at some point

Pretty soon all my muscles will contract and push me bavk up off you because you're just too much and too deep and soooooo intense

Oh I hope you are ready for that

Are YOU ready?

Oh yeah

Have you ever just really pounded someone?

Yes. I lack stamina sometimes. Probably need practice. Lots and lots of practice

Also I think my shitty mattress has something to do with it.

So would you try with me?

Does it appeal to you?

I'll pound ya! Just whisper how hard you want it.

On second thought, maybe don't whisper it

I want to share something with you... something positive

Since we spent the night together, I feel like my depression has backed off. I feel like I have something I can look forward to. Even though it's kind of frustrating we can't go full tilt here, it's exciting. And I love knowing it's just a matter of time before we can be together again. And that makes me happy. So thank you ☺️

That makes me happy! And.... same

I have some similar revelations i would like to share if youre good with that

Of course I am

What kind would you like first? Kinda sad but good or possibly upsetting and good?

The latter

I think i might try not being borderline suicidal for the first time in a few decades now that someone feels like i should stick around

But now i feel like i shouldn't have said that

In all seriousness, if you had not said it, I would still be worried that it's true without knowing so, and that is pretty painful for me to carry around.

So I appreciate you telling me that, in all seriousness. It's much easier to know the truth than be anxious about what might be.

♥️

I got this babe.

You dont have to. It's not your responsibility, ever. But thank you

And i thought it was pretty plainly obvious but know it's touchy, or i would have told you sooner

You can still ask what you want. Jusy a new topic now, kind or

I'll use this analogy. You have a warehouse. It's full of things. Some things are really dope. Some are scary af. You invite me over, but we only have an hour, and you can only show me a fraction of your warehouse. So you choose what to show me that day. I'll come over again and you can show me more. Maybe there's a part you don't want me to see. Ok. Maybe there's a part you want me to see, but not yet, or not until I've seen something else first. It's your choice. You can do it the way you want it the way you are most comfortable.

I trust you.

Thank you for that

I was 10 the first time i tried. I think that paints kind of a picture of how engrained this is in me

But i also need it to be an option. I know that's scary and weird sounding but it makes sense to me

And it astonishes me both when people do notice and when they do not

Just know there's a huge part of me that does not want that outcome. Selfish perhaps, but still. I don't think I can truly say I understand, but you've told me stories that are literally the worst human experience of anyone I have ever known. So in some way, I think I do understand.

I'm also chuffed to the max that I helped you feel differently about it.

I'd also like to say that I have never, but never had so much clarity of mind about my feelings for someone. Never.

As I do for you

That's confusing and clear to me because i feel the same way

I just love the mutual appreciation society!

Me too

You had one other thing, did you not?

What do you mean?

I asked for "the latter" (more serious sounding) option earlier. was there another thing you wanted to say?

I said them both. That taking my own exit is a comforting option to me and i do not remember not knowing there was an out if i felt like life would always be too much

Ok!

I did have more questions for yesterday but they're escaping now. I need to retrace my thoughts

Okay!

Was it for a particular topic?

Hubs, I think. But not positive

Oh. Okay

I have something maybe disturbing if youre open to it

Ok

Are you sure?

Involves a scar

And a non story story

Duuude

??

I seriously don't know how to respond. You ask me. I say yes. You double dare me. Now what?

Lol. Not a dare. Just making sure

I'm big on consents

Sometimes i forget how psychotic things jve done have been

But how can I be?

I have zero idea what you're tempting we with, besides a scar

You've seen the scar

I appreciate the warning

I did it to myself. That's kind of the story

null

That one

Freshman year of HS

With my nail

Yow

Double yow

Cutting emerged after my childhood. I think I mentioned I know a couple people who did it, now three. Is there anything you can or want to say about it? I lack understand

It makes me feel better instantly, and more ashamed. I dont do it like most (a lot of people do it ritualisticallt, straight lines and straight blades like razors or x acto, quiet, methodically, maybe to a sang on repeat or at a certain time). I do mine impulsively and in kind of a fever fury. Mine has to be instantly painful (not like sinking in gradually or later), most of the time it's because i want to feel different than i do in that moment. I direct the rage or spin the sad against myself so i dont look or act worse on the outside. I remember my first time ultra vividly and it's the only trauma story i have sair, start to finish, for a therapist

I are word good huh?

I do it because i dont know what else to do with too much or too little feeling

You verb noun adverb!

 ​❤️​ to “ You verb noun adverb! ” 

What else?

Thanks that does put perspective on it. Can't say I've never been inclined to be.... Mean to myself before

I've got a meeting with David in a couple minutes so I'll probably be quiet for a while

Enjoy!

I am so cold and so tiredddddd

Are you ok?

Yez

I forgot how cold this stupid office always is

And i guess i just have to keep shoveling food away in my mouth to keep up on the energy

If I need to come up there and feed you let me know

I had/have food but thanks!

Could use some internal warming maybe

Heh heh naughty

Indeed

How's david?

He's good. We're reviewing a policy we are responsible for. Very exciting stuff 🤮

Anyone i know?

I mean an HR policy

Interesting

Thrilling. Absolutely riveting

Glad that's over!

Yeah?

Meetings like that make me think it should be 1600 already... But I see that is not the case

Could you do me a favor?

What's up?

Can you call the waaambulance for me ?

Sure 🙂

Better ham it up

Waaaaaaaaaah

WAAAAAAAAAAAH

Yep 👍

AM I doing it right?

Yes!

Oh!

What are you doing next Friday?

No idea rn

I'm knifing

Knifing?

Planning

Mmhmmmmm

So I'm going to try to set up a lunch date with a former IT dude (he used to sit kinda near you actually) and play hooky for the rest of the day

You know what rhymes with hooky?

Happily fucking?

That's right! Nookie!

You are so smart!

Lol

You're aware I'm supposed to work?

🦆 that

Lol

We'll see, lol

Just an idea

Fair warning that i might drop off pretty quick after 415 for a while. I am just so tired

You thinking my house for this plan o yours?

If it's convenient, otherwise, somewhere else!

Don't worry if you need to drop off. I'll be going out to get the shelf and all that

Get some rest!

I cant wait to leave here today

Bright side is that i can wfh tomorrow

Oh good!

You hanging in there?

Basically jist fell out of my chair with a hypnic jerk

How about you?

Oh jeez!

Yeah I'm fine

Filled and removed another bag of crap from the house. Cleaned a refrigerator shelf. Refilled the dishwasher

I don't know what has come over me this week

Depression is a bitch

I'm familiar

Remember after that weekend when i called in for 2 days?

Yeaah

Couldnt get up off the floor. Couldnt eat, was sleeping a lot and not sleeping. Other stuff

I know that depression bitch too well

Would it make sense to you for what would have set me off on that slope? It's okay is anoter

*It's okay if not

Goddamn i am so tired

You can tell some other time. Don't get sucked in

Coincidentally I am actively decommissioning a trigger after RLH threw a dick at me 30 minutes ago. I'm not going to go into it now because I don't want to get sucked into the swamp.

I'm very sorry

Thx

Did i read that correctly?

Meant to say dick move, but yeah

Either way

I want you to know that i want to give you all tge attention and more for what you want to say (and i will), but i am barely surviving at this second

It's totally cool. Don't you worry at all. Get you some self-care going and get some rest. That's the best thing for you right now. I am fine... This did not hurt me.

Be selfish!

Say it with me..... WAAAAAAAAAAH!

But seriously

😘

Still working :)

Jsyk, my post-us depressive episode was actually kind of a good thing

Just complicated

I know you're surprised, lol

null

Hommmmmme

Yay!

I also just returned

Hey you

Yo

Things ok there ?

Yep. I'm making a shelf!

null

You doin ok?

Great work!

Yeah. Better. Less like i am dying. Spouse just left so that's a bonus i guess

Lol

He's going to hang out with his boss

Are you fucking serious?

Bwahahajaja

I thought I was hard up for company. Damn

Movie night

I would rather eat glass

I know

I think I made this dude's day at Menards. The gate keeper (literally) for the lumber/pickup yard was this meek fella. I praised him up and down for being so helpful and on my way out I told him I appreciate you man! He lit right up with thank yous. It was kinda cute

That's wonderful!

I tell people i appreciate them

Right on! Tryna keep the good mood rolling

null

I'm just roughing in

That's amazing and very accomplished

Thank you!

2024-10-02T19:53:52

I wish i could have a few thousand kisses all over from you right now

Aww! I wish I could give them!

null

Featuring Rama in loaf mode

Idk.... looks very helpful!

Oh yeah. Mr helpful

As good as any other supervisor I've ever seen

Innit?

I can't wait until I can make you sloppy with kisses

Omg yes

I think I'm done down here

I'm absolutely famished. This is something else not drinking does. It makes me have an appetite.

It's kind of weird

I understand that

What are you going to have?

No idea lol

I picked up some yogurt and apples on the way home. I legit might have that. I am back on yogurt and fruit. I've been off for far too long

That's almost my breakfast every morning but mines a little more fancified lol

Cut up apples, caramel, peanut butter, some sort of crunch, and yogurt

Deluxe!

For sure! Esp when i crumble biscoff on it

Or add cinnasugar

That's downright bougie lol

So easy though

Or a smash a nature valley while it's in the wrapper

Or make my own granola

Sometimes i add in d4ied currants or cranberries

So resourceful!

When i have extra cookies i dont want, i save them and pulverize them to use as crunchies later

Will you be my mommy?

Lol

Pweeeese

Idk.... i already like calling you daddy.....

null

Cat is not vegetarian!!!

Correct!

Except when I call him the doodle noodle

He's trying to crawl on my lap

I do too! Let the poor thing!

Oh he's there

Here

Damn lucky cat

null

He opted to watch me make shelf instead of napping at the usual time. So he's really persistent

Silly boy

null

He. Is. In. My. Spot.

Yeah... Sorry about that

My tongue still feels better

Oh my does it ever

What would have elevated that part of the evening?

Me being a lot closer to orgasm

But what can i do

Be your beautiful self

Honestly I was surprised at myself. It was absolutely not something you did or didn't do. I enjoyed every second

I kinda think my lack of ability is tied to too much drinking

And the meds

But I should be able to get past the meds

But i want to be better for you. I dont know what you liked and could use less of. More of. Everything. You want to learn about me, right? Same here, about you

That's fair. In a sense, I don't actually have the depth of experience to know what's what. But I am very comfortable giving gentle feedback, suggesting we change up or whatever

I think you will find out well enough what I like, and I will find out well enough what I like, because when I get there, it's going to be really obvious

I guess what I'm asking is just improv, with me doing the same. You'll make me smile, I'm certain of it

Okay :)

We're almost the same there

Twins!

Lol yes! Except I'm not really entirely sure yet how to give feedback

I think you know more than you realize

Kind of. I can tell you where feels good or what. I'm not used to being able to offer feedback

It's ok

You're just not used to it

Nbd

😊

I dont want you to feel bad

And why would I?

If you feel like you're not doing well enough or if you're doing something i don't love having done

It's ok, really. You can say so. Or you can push/pull me where you want me, or tell me you want me to do what you want in that moment

Don't overthink it :)

You gave me some very detailed instructions earlier

So I know you can do it

In person or in text?

Text. Today

Hmm. Okay, excellent

null

Awww

I'm headed to the shower and then to my bed

I'm be back soon!

Me talk good er then tooo

😊

Alrighty then!

So, what's up?

So .. question for you: did you have any idea how old I am when you lured me to your office?

Not really, and didnt care

And you, when you stepped into my web? Lol

Well I knew you were younger than me for sure.

Not THAT much younger

I thought younger still, not that it bothered me either

You thought i was younger than i am?

Yeah, like 35

I get that a lot. But i always appreciate it

I thought you might be mid40s but it didnt occur to me until a few times meeting you that we might not be the same age

Lol was it my girlish figure?

Something like that

🍃

Lol that's "flutter"

Oooohhhhh

This reminds me of something!

Of what?

Well I have to tell a short story to connect all the dots

So

Okay. I will wash dishes while you script that out

Ok Cool. There's a recommendation in it for you!

Older step son (TNT) was friends with this cute gal in HS. they went to prom. They weren't lovers, but two alike so to say, and they became prom king and Queen.

Very fitting

"The girl", which is exactly how we all referred to her also befriended RLH, so she came around quite often

Some time later she had a baby by a deadbeat, and then another by another, and she would bring the babies around sometimes

Babies are not my thing at all, but I thought motherhood made her look really attractive.

TNT wasn't around at the time (might have been when he was at basic training, army reserves)

Many years passed, and then I saw her working at the Frandor Kroger right around the beginning of COVID. I chatted with her a bit, and then started looking for her every time I went in there.

One day she came to the house to see RLH with yet another baby lol

But she still looked great

This is when I started fantasizing about her coming around the house , wearing a sundress, and as in all good porn stories, we immediately have sex

Out of the blue, I realized I have a thing for sundresses. Idk where it came from, but I'll and behold there's a subreddit dedicated to the idea, so there must be something to it

When I saw the pic of you with your "I'm 21!" drink, I actually thought I was looking at her for a sec. You two look a lot alike. Very hot. And would look ravishing in a sundress!

null

Wow I'm really fadey already

I might nod off before you get back. If I do,

I
Love
You
!

I
Love
You
Too

Thank you for sharing

Sundresses are for sure "a thing"

Yknow, i never did watch the porn clips you sent (sorry!)

I would welcome any and all that came my way now

Lol you're not really missing much but ok :)

I had this idea that we could do a Google chat or something with video and make our own own 🤪

Own *porn

You figure it out and I'll probably be on board ;)

I'll see what I can figure out

I'll be damned if I'm going to install teams on my personal laptop

Nevvvvvvvvver

Nope

null

Oh shit what have I done

Go back to the nursing home, clippy!

I'm sure Cortana is looking and worried

Right?

Btw

David HATES clippy. Just saying

I would never torment him

With clippy

Wow

I have a cruel streak

Nope

Pull wings off butterflies

TF is wrong with me

But you wont slap me ecen if i want it?? Not a cruel bone in your body

L9l

Hey, change the subject for me please!

No I will not slap you

I see that in porn sometimes

I immediately nope out

Like wtf

That's fascinating

Butt slapping, ok

Face slapping, nope

Clit slapping?

Tapping maybe

Although the number of videos where guys are just railing on a girl's clit is boggling

You can sometimes tell it's not appreciated

I nope out of those too usually

Too much clit is not pleasant

Or too much directness for me

Right!

A basic sex ed should teach that.

I mean I know what's up, anatomically speaking

Weird. I do not

And never had any sex ed

Most guys would not appreciate the tip of their penis being rubbed like Aladdin's lamp

Those structures start off the same way

The same bundle of nerves in the guy are completed into that small organ in the girl

That word was supposed to be "compressed"

Made sense both ways

So then it makes sense that if you hit a specific part that it actually hurts me?

Sure it does!

I hope I didn't do that

I dont think so

But i always thought it was more of me being miswired

Well everyone has their preferences and sensitivities too

I have a really quick few line story to share. Seemingky from nowhere

One time i was staying in charlevoix and it was obvious the guy and i were about to do stuff. I was excited and expressed how i was really looking forward to making love since it seemed like the perfect time and setting and all. He got upset that i ruined the mood because he only wanted dirty slut hotel room sex

That wasn't nice

That's all

Dang. Why do people suck like that...

I dont even know. That's just another fleeting memory

Years ago we used to see these bumper stickers that said "mean people suck". I always thought that was appropriate

Very

Do you know Happy Bunny? It's a brand. Kind of

Oh that sounds familiar floor some reason

Circa late 90s/2000

Like old school Hot Topic a little bit

Oh yeah!

Happy Bunny used to have a common one that was "boys are stupid, throw rocks at them"

Wise ol rabbit

Lolol

Of course In charlevoix you're apt to run into people with severe affluenza

I am very aware

Also..... im from brighton

So there's that

Lol

TNT was born in charlevoix

I usually tell people "a town kind of outside ann arbor"

Oh wow

I think they were living in East Jordan iirc

Why not kids? I mean, i know they were both young but you never felt the need to plant seeds? You said babies aren't your thing

This is a new kind of mentality for me to hear

I never felt the urge. And being around other people's kids was all could take.

Ever had a pregnancy scare?

Once. My ONS.

I think she was faking it though, but I didn't think that at the time

Wow. I sorry. That must have been terrible

You were okay without a condom with me. I think i already asked, but why?

Isnt it supposed to reflect negatively on me if i don't make you wear one?

Geez I dunno about that

For me it's just a practical thing. I lose sensitivity with condoms

I could have been riddled with disease

I mean, i didnt know you long before we hopped into bed

The reverse is also true, yeah?

Kinda. But i live with a lot more reckless abandon

I guess I felt like by the time we got there, we discussed a lot of things, and I trusted you

And now you're the only one with proof of status lol

Which reminds me--what was the lab you went to?

I used everlywell. It's online, no insurance, and essentially as anonymous as you want it. I've used other similar ones before. And i knew i had a gyn appt so i felt okay casually double confirming with them.

Any reason?

Good to know of resources. I kinda expected my doc to haul me in for an annual, and at which point she usually will ask if there is any reason at all why I would want to be tested.

But doc did not bring me in. So the last time I was tested was probably 7ish years ago? Maybe 5.

Not that I've had much sex at all, and then only with the wife

Just trying to be thorough

Sure. Yeah, i will not put anything i actually question thru my med records, if that statement reads correctly to you

Ok fair

So im fine getting the real tests wherever and on my own

Anything spouse can see and ask questions about, i better have an explanation

I hope that's making sense

Oh for sure

My spouse is extremely not connected in that way,by choice

Oh darling

I need to drop off

I am zoning out

I hope you have a pleasant sleep! Wish I could be with you for it too

Good night sweet one! 💕

2024-10-03T05:27:38

Allo!

Bonjour mon amore!

C'est un peut tot, non?

Peut etre

😘

Did you fall asleep at the keyboard?

Kind of

Keyboard flopped onto me lop

*lol

Aww 😉

How was your night?

Good! I slept well. Except I need to figure out what I'm doing that makes my shoulders so irritated

I do mean things to my posture in my sleep lol

It's working itself out tho. Will be fine

Do you know how you sleep?

Position

Side mostly, with lower arm outstretched, under my pillow

So yeah

Contorted

I sleep pretty poorly myself

Side, fetal, legs weird kind of like a ballerina

Yes, you did sleep fetal. It was cute af

You watched me sleep?

I could just wrap myself around you

No I didn't watch as such

But you were right there

Psht. Weirdo. Lol. You noticing that is cute AF

I mean there was a girl in my bed! I wasn't going to not notice!

Ofc

I happen to be sorting some books and look!

null

See the name?

Yeah--wow! That is cool

Thanks! I cant wait to get it all really well organized but that'll be next week i guess

I think I'm going to try reading this weekend for the first real time in more than 3 years

Send like a good time to pick that back up

*seems

I've been too depressed. That's another reason my house is how it is. Things are maybe getting better though so i figured id try some of my old hobbies

null

Good for you!

I think that is what's happening for me too

:)

Painted that last night. Plan now is to make it multimedia i think

You did??? That is so cool!

Thank yoy! It's no Eileen Holaday but i do decently with acrylics. I have a handful ive done in the last few years. Most were at Wine & Canvas. I had a lot of talent my 5th year of high school when i took a ton of art classes

Papercrafting and repurposing/upcycling too

So good! I am really impressed!

And I think you meant Beverly :)

Whatever. I tried lol

How many of my relatives can you name?? Lol

Lol
Uh
One

I think more

Without consulting my notes

It's more than one

You just dont realize it maybe

Do I use the force or what obi-wan?

Lol. Inductive reasoning and the socratic method

Whose name do you know

Andrew Martin

Mmhmm. And where did he get his first name, maybe

Hmm. Dad!

You are so smart!

Oh yeah. Lauri

Yeah, mostly

Not her legal name but yes

Does Mom have a sister?

Yes

Marcia

Yes

How are you finding these ?

Obit for Rosemary opperthauser

Indeed

What else then?

Can you come vacuum please

Right after I finish here. Every. Room. In. This. House.

I almost started yesterday

I dont need rug burn lol

Lol we have a lot of bare floors actually

Somehow that might be worse lol

Yeah
Splinters

What else have you found on me?

A mole

Nevus keratosis?

The same

Yes. I have lots. Some call them freckles. Perhaps you saw them

Some, yes

I didn't catalog them. I was too busy enjoying your soft skin

And

Wanna know something funny?

Yes I do

You first. And.....?

Your amazeballs tight pussy

Which apparently needs tightening

Funny thing: i dont do anything to my skin. Not even lotion. I just forget to do it

I just shuddered do hard I almost fell out of my chair lol

Why?

Memmmmmmories

Oh, okay

I'm back on earth now

Hey remember when i made a puddle on you

And you topped out

And i got your face wet

Remember those?

You made a puddle on me?

Yep

Do you not recall?

No I definitely need to have this repeated

Well i climbed on top

Fumbled around because i couldnt figure out how to get you in

Eventually we succeeded with a tight fitting entry

I moved my hips, rolled around, grinded up and down on you

Really found things i liked doing and feeling

Oh my god...

And all of a sudden you were as deep as anyone had ever been

I relaxed and you were at least halfway up inside, practically to my throat

And then i opened just the sliiiiightest bit more

And you hit the perfect spot

Then before i could blink there was a deluge

And i was in a puddle of our own making all over you

Maybe you remember more now?

Wowwwww

I felt the wet inside you
I don't think I realized you made a puddle

Fuck me that is so hot

I know i do. My legs are even shaking

Again

Oh i was sitting on your dick and a tiny lake for sure

🥰

This reminds me of something i was going to ask

Anything

It felt like i had random minigasms almost the whole rest of the night. I would twitch and shudder and have this fantastic whole body shiver type thing but in an amazing way

What was that?

I think that was exactly what you just called it--mini orgasms

Like after-shocks

My understanding is some women can have multiples of orgasms

Is that a normal thing? Or am i extra broken?

But it was random

I'd call it blessed

I honestly feel like i could almost think myself to the precipice now if i tried

Or if you kissed me in the right places

Oh my sweet baby!

I want that for you

Thank you

Youre the one who gave it to me

I have never been so turned on by a written description of sex

Fucking amazing

I'm so happy I could do that for you

You just don't even know

It's very strange to me

So much of this

And wonderful

Yes. And very foreign

I believe you but i dont think I've really believed someone ever before

I cant explain this, but i actually feel that you love me

I want all good things for you. Yes I do love you ♥️

I'm sure you've heard these lyrics

Was she good? Just what you liked?
Did you come? How many times?

Does it make sense?

They arent immediate to me

Girl In Red

Ohhhh yes

In my head it was a man singing, hence confusion

What does it mean to you? How would you explain the lyrics?

Well I think the song is about girls cheating with other girls

"did she make you come better than I do?"

Said one girl to another

And you think uis somg migjt be a bit apropos?

I think it just proves that some girls have multiple orgasms

And I think that the ability of a lover to do that is a hallmark of good sex

Girls talk about it on OF too

When was it really actually evident that i hadn't had good sex before?

More richard scarry

null

That is so cool. I've never seen that

Thanks! No evasion though lol

Lol

If it wasnt, that's fine

I think you said some things before our meet up that made me think along those lines, but when we really got going with the sex was when I was pretty sure

And when you were certain?

When you started saying you weren't sure what just happened

Because at that point I was thinking

Girl have you never had really good sex?

My response would have either been "i dont know?" Or "i thought jd had" or i still would have been like "wtf?"

You're my first good sex. Congrats

You don't have to say that but I'm glad it was good!

I dont have to say anything

It's already obvious

And you deserve to know. Literally life changing

Yay!

I am so happy for you! 🥰

And I want to give you more and more and more

OMG

I just figured something out

Shoot

You and I are a lot alike like that:

You're used to being the giver
The vessel as it were
Seldom getting back what you offer

I am used to being the doer, seldom getting back what I give

Yes

You see where this is going
Yes

Maybe

What a fucking perfect setup

Two pleasure-givers who will not take no for an answer

Yes

I've kind of only had doms/dom wannabes

I don't know if lol or cringe is the right reaction

Lol

We both want to out-give the other

It's a love fest

Lol yes!

So when I said I'm just a little subbie I was really expressing a part of me that seldom gets relief

But I don't mind playing to both sides

And i meant im available for using

Especially since you have new things to learn and experience

Indeed

OMG we are going to have so much fun

Let's play that we're hedonists

PERFECT

insatiable pleasure seekers

I have never been so aware of my sexuality in my life

This is very inspiring

I didnt know it was okay for me to want pleasure for myself

"you will learn"

:)

Be back in 20 or so

Roger that

Came back. Kinda

Back to work. Whoopie!

Yep! Sitting in a different room today so i can get some house stuff done

You lovin the job today?

Oh posiroutely

I'm going to send you something on teams in a minute. Don't worry... Sfw

So how I feel about work is in the teams chat lol

I have a face for those identical feelings

Yiu know the face of mine

"Unamused"

Fiiiine

Go ahead. Tell me you cant picture the face on me

Oh I can see it

I like your amused face much more

I think you like my cumfused face best lol

Hahaha

We should word on that

Yes and work as well

I've never done that btw. Dreamed about it.

About what?

Cumming on a girl's face. I should say 'fantasized' not dreamt

We can get there I'm sure

I also haven't had that experience

Oh ok

That is to say, i cant guarantee if I'll like it but we can try everything as long as you're okay, knowing i might not be a fan

We dont have to

All good. I'm a fan of try, then decide if it's in or out next time

That felt really confusing to say lol

I get it

Thanks for being a good sport

No no no thank YOU for all of this

Same goes for me btw

I know I named some things I'm not into, but only the hitting is a hard no

I'm open to experiments

Uh, within reason lol

I need more please

Your list is almost positively shorter than mine

I want to try it all

There is something idk if you would try or not. I crave it

And i still want to know what you have to say about rough please

On the last point... Even though I may fantasize about kicking some dickhead's ass, I really try to curb my violent thoughts. I never want to hurt the one I love, and I am afraid of what could happen if testosterone takes over

I've never really lost it like that, but I don't want to start

And honest to goodness, I've only had vanilla sex. Various positions, but practically zero exotics

I experimented with a dildo (on myself) a few times but never really got into it.

So please lead the way! I'll experiment with you

I kind of want to do it all

I dont really know positions, that could be interesting

Well let's have a field day with all of it

Please!

Are you willing to pin me down in a fun and consensual way?

Yes absolutely

Fuck yes!

And fold you like a pretzel

??

And go to pound town!

Yesssss

But i fold how?

Like you described yesterday... Which I cannot get out of my head... With your legs spread and pushed back

Mmmmmm yes

I want all of me to be fully open to you, for you

Ohh baby

2024-10-03T11:45:02

Oh, yes

Too many meetings today. Aargh!

Too many calls & requests

And incompetent coworkers

Aargh! I say!

I am ovvvvvver today. Home, work, otherwise

((♥️))

Wanna see our "2 week communication"?

Honestly made me mad

Oh yeah let's see it

Just sent it

I want to sleep while working all day every day during restoration. How do i sign up for that?

(Separate issue)

I don't think Roni is very well in tune with her staff

There sure are a lot of pat-pats and 'i know you said this, but too bad'

What's your take on D&I in general?

For us or the world or...? They are vastly different opinions which is why i ask

Also, fuck customer service week, esp when we're still home and at battle everyday

And fuck claims. They're the only ones who ever get any praise in the SC

Right? But invoicing 'sure is big innit!'

I am just.... ugh

Lots of thoughts and unpleasant "feelings" about the whole damn day

I know: (

You getting rid of any furniture?

Funny you should ask
I do plan to. It is not only worthless, it is soaked in cat piss

I'll have to tell you about the collector cum hoarder over here

I am finally speechless

I just wanted a fun upcycling project!

I might have a few for ya that are not gross

Im still shaken l9l

There is a pair of dining room chairs that has been in my basement since my parents moved out of East Lansing in.. idk 2003 maybe? "For someday"

Hint: someday does not happen here, but we're waiting for about a hundred of then

I can probably sneak those out. I'm sure they are dusty, but they're wood mostly and need the seat recovered

Hmmm interesting

Have you thought about making them into shelves?

No, I've thought about making them into a bonfire

What do they look like rn?

There's nothing shelf -worthy on them

I'll go dig em up and take a pic

Meh

Come rescue me instead?

Oh I really should do that. And we can run away!

Did it before and I'll do it again!

null

The one the right is the one I was thinking of. I thought there were two

I'm not sure about the origin of the left one. It is on wheels. Possibly Eastlake according to the collector

I think the one on the right ia very shelfable

It's yours!

I'll make it for you :)

Comme ca

null

I see ... Our definitions of shelf are different lol

In this house, any solid horizontal surface is a place to set things down and forget about them for 10 years

That's why it's a small display ledge lol

I'll make an apron to hang off it

Synonym: oubliette

Mdr

null

null

I can to harder

You tell me ;)

I'm going to stick with my interpretation

Like i said, i can go harder

Smh I can't wait

It's funny how well that actually works

... Smh

How are you holding up?

Ugggĥhhhhh dont even

I'm sorry

Same

Are you leaving for 4 days of isolation with..... someone??

But yes. Also sorry for you

Just know if you need to be rescued, I will come and get you

Not even joking

But I hope it's ok

Thank you

I'll be several hours away but i appreciate that

Sorry if this is majorly age-wrong, did you ever watch howdy doody?

And i wonder if you jnow what I'm asking next

I never did. I think that was a little dated when I was a kid

And I actually don't know what's next lol

Your message seemed genuinely concerned with rescuaged?

I just want you to know I'm there if you need me. ☺️

You're the best!

Managed to clean some even after our my early morning rising. And framed some stuff

Good job

null

null

Amazing! I found some extra Sendak today too

And pshyeah!

I survived the work week :)

And i found american chocolate that i think i like

Yay!

What's the Choco?

null

Semi sweet even huh?

Yes?

Is that unusual?

Just kinda surprising a non chocoholic liking semi-sweet, but hey!

Can I see the ingredients?

null

Alright cool! The vegans will hate but that's what they do lol

For every vegan who doesn't eat cheese, i have 3x as much

Me too lol 🤣

So the shelves in the basement are also enabling rehab of the shelves in my office so I can actually see the things I have and have a place to put my camera stuff. That extra tripod really threw off the chi

Do you need a dehumidifier?

Unsure, but you and i live in an identical climate. You dislike it?

And thanks

I used to need it in the basement. Not any more because we fixed water issues

At great expense I might add

Like $16k

That's a lot of playdates lol

Ikr?

But only a couple months o electric bills 😂

Oiye

I've also got a bunch of hydroponic stuff. I grew some decent veg a few years ago. Then depression showed up and told me to stop paying attention. The dead remains are still all over the place

Maybe you and i can both get our residences clean lol

I definitely feel motivated to attack "my" areas, which is substantial. Unfortunately the entire house needs it, and I will not touch her spaces

I understand some of that mentality

null

A jack

Jacks

Jax

??

Word of the day: Caltrops

I've got two kinds, and bunches of em

So now i have to look them up? Unfair! Lol

Lol that's all I'm going to say about them

Oh! I do know those! Romans, i think

You didnt die from the wound but from the later infection

Bunches of em, eh?

Yep

You know the next question


Not sayin

Riiiiight

We are leaving shortly i guess. I have no idea how reachable i will be

Ok babe. Good luck, keep your sanity, be safe out there, and I love you. Looking forward to to your return!

Bon voyage!

Thanks

I just dont know how to do this

I'm sorry babe

I know

And now, the departure

Bon chance a vous aussi ce weekend

2024-10-03T22:08:58

Arrived

I love you, sweet dreams and whatnot

2024-10-04T05:04:02

Allo!

How are you?

I woke up and started cleaning lol

How are you sweet baby?

I am doing that too! Will be scolded for it. Oh well

I am okay thanks

How was your night?

Ok. I was a little cold. I don't always realize it until I wake up tensed. I did some stretches. Better now

Went to bed at 2000 lol

Woke up thinking of you🥰

Omg twins!!!

Yay!

I bet you didn't have a hard-on tho

No. Damn.

Oh, a question for that!

Lol "shoot"

You too lol

Would it be okay if i woke you up by pleasuring you?

That would make my day :)

Really?

It would

You can wake me up any time

I'll be doing that then

So this house, right...?

Totally normal stuff laying around

null

Oh how.. fun

null

Purely from an object count perspective, reminds me of your room

Hahahahahahaha

You might not be wrong but also this is infinitely worse

It's also so fucking dark in here no matter what

Like hey.... LITERALLY BLIND daughter but it's fiiinnnnnne

Ah yeah cabins are often dark, it seems

How are you doing with the isolation?

Yes, but this is a small house (not a cabin). She just likes dark

It's been sleeping so far so I've been okay thanks

Shopping today! You still have to tell me what i can craft you

I will think on it

Something Michigan themed!

Yeah? Then i have something perfect in mind

Also

3729 US Highway 23
Greenbush, MI

Ty

😊

Send the bat signal if you need rescuing!

Will do thanks

I actually do kinda like Michigan stuff. I'm a michigoon through and through

I am feeling more positive about being okay

Ooh never heard that!

Always thought that sounded better than michiganian

I'm glad you're feeling better!

Michigander....

null

Argentina!?!?!

Yes! Iguazu to be precise

Went there on a spring break

I took those (& framed)

null

Dang how cool! I never got to go anywhere... Except Kalamazoo

And that one (russia, along the volga)

Oh wow!

There's another from Malta and one more from a Carolina that have been some of my better snapshots

They're in the sleeping room tho

null

null

null

null

That one is me in Capri, near the blue grotto. Also where Tiberius' ruins are

OMG I so would have kidnapped you

Which?

Me with my mellophone, right?!?!

Yes, and in Capri

100%

I was legal loo

*lol

Fucccck

19, about a week before i turned 20

Still a virgin by my standards

Drool

Such a hottie

Omg no but thanks

Soooo awkward

But i have a pic youd prob love, if i can find it

When I was a freshman in college I remember writing in my notebook about the girls I thought were cute as I sat in some gathering place.

I knew none of them

But I realized the girls with the round face were the best. "moon face" I called it

You're such a pretty girl

Oh. Thank you

null

That's how i went to work on halloween 3 years ago

Some others you might like

null

null

null

null

null

null

And to finish

null

Hot fucking damn

Hmmm?

The Halloween outfit 👌

Worked all day in it at AFHQ

That's the only thing I like about Halloween

Same

And the samhain lore but that's a little different

I think i showed you a few of me as dorothy?

Hmm. Did you?

I'll send it again lol

null

null

null

It was supposed to be slutty but ended up being cute because i was small

Made the Belle one

Kissing paper was a sex Olympics event that i & we won

Oh, that's always my real hair & not a wig. Fun, right.?

Definitely fun. Would like to see you do this again in person :)

OMG you make me shiver with excitement!

Lol so I got up at 0500 and RLH was still awake. She just dozed off half an hour ago

And now I'm thinking I could skip it and play all day and she'd have no clue

I have 6 fucking hours of meetings today

Arrgh

That's excessive!

But really, how can ome have 6 hours of mee5ings and have actual productive outcome at the same time??

On a Friday no less lol

Nbu be that way

Right!
BU was that way for me for a while

We need to find me something different, perhaps

I do recommend getting out of bu jobs if you want real upside monetary potential

I want something that i can actually show my potential at, if that makes sense

Ofc. That makes it more enjoyable too

What kind of things do you like?

Sfw answers only!

In a job?

null

That's the back yard

null

null

null

null

null

Actually looks nice :)

Yeah job... What kind of things would interest you?

Writing
Travel
Imagination/ideas
Giving input
Cleaning up/proofing/editing/fixing
Librarianing

Organizing

Im not sure what else to say?

Have you ever thought about exec admin?

Kind of, i dont think i want the intensity

Flexibility is big too

Makes sense

Wanna be my sexetary?

I wish

It's intense, but you'll do great

Fucking yessssss

I do 1-1 team building regularly

I perform outside normal job duties

I can wear whatever you pick as a uniform

You seem pretty enthusiastic about it

Above average lol

Nice

Can you be flexible


With work hours?

Late nights are possible

But well rewarded

I work best in those hours

Hmm very good!

I also run a tight ship, take direction and feedback well, and sometimes suck up to the man in charge

I'm not just lip service

🥰

2024-10-04T13:21:19

How ya doin?

I have 2 things for you to look up later

90 minutes to go!

Yay! 🎉

Then?

Groceries

What are you getting me?

Then what?

Tasty foodies!

I'm going to get back to making salads

Oh, fun!

I make delicious salads

Know a cool kinda trick?

Take your ingredients and get a tupperware or bowl with lid or giant jar with lid, place all ingredients in, add dressing, shake

Perfectly coated

I also dont necessitate lettuce or leaves as a salad ingredient, just in case you wondered

I dont do that well with leaves

Hmm. I am a leaf lover. but I never buy plain lettuce. Romaine for plain days, fancy kind for fancy days.

That is a good trick! I usually don't because she and I have different preferences. I usually go for vinegar/oil (homemade, only). She insists on something creamy. I will also use tahini. I need more of that for the pantry come to think of it!

I also make a yummy lentil salad

Nice

The last meeting is OVER!!!

2024-10-04T16:43:18

How has the rest of the afternoon been?

I am finally done with my work!

Groceries bought and put away

Assembled office chair for RLH

Time for a Guinness

How are you faring?

Office of...?

What's for dinner?

How many Guinness?

I am faring.... okay. More later

Une Chaise Executif, as it were, for the place where she spends most waking hours. It's also where her computer is and she smokes in this place also. The chair arrived in a ledge box today. Much assemble.

Idk. There is a good chance I will be inspired to make salads. A nice lady I often see at Kroger directed me to the tahini, which was awesome and I thanked her profusely

I also have a casserole I have been thinking of all week that I would like to make. Stay tuned!

Continues...

One so far. Oktoberfest in glass now

I usually drink less when it's only two nights a week. I am also pounding

Water. TIL one point of Guinness can cause a net loss of about 7oz of water. This actually surprised me. Etoh removes 10-fold it's weight in water.

Ok I hope you can stay on top of everything. I miss you!

I really miss you!

On top of everything??

Doesn't the okt get you superdrunk? Save some of that for me!

I have a few questions related to that, actually...

You are correct about the okt. This may be the one and only. 3 is all it takes to drill me to the floor

And I will save some for us

I cannot wait to sink a beer with you. A little smoke. And fuck, and fuck, and then fuck some more. And then eat.

Some of your spectacular grilled cheese

Can I pick you up and bring you home so you can make your grilled cheese?

I don't have much money. I can offer you some other compensation for your services. I am very reasonable and like to provide great value for your troubles. You can ask me anything

Yes to alllllll that

What would you ask in return? I am not physically flexible, but I think you will find that you are unlimited in terms of what you want me to do for you

Omg you're so terrible and perfect

I can be those things. Do you like Dad jokes?

I tried to start a hot air balloon business but it never took off

Isn't that perfect?

Lol very

Pssht lol

Does your phone have Gemin?

Something to consider: if i want to be totally shit faced, borderline blackout drunk and then fuck...?

I think it does, why?

And we need to figure out how I'll imbibe my cannabis, which type, etc

Reverse first. Sure. I got the vibe you'd prefer edibles? I can get some. Cookies? Candy? Or I can cook with it. Pasta or pizza sauce is a good substrate in my opinion. Does this appeal to you?

Don't really have a preference. I don't know what I'm doing. Probably sweet. And I've never smoked, so def edible

Well!

It's been a long time since I've eaten it. It is a great way to enjoy. The experience lasts much longer, but it is mellowed all the way through, including slower ramp-up

Any q about that?

I don't know what to expect it to feel like

Fastest way to feel it, that's smoking?

Yes

We could do something fun

I'm intrigued

I'll take the hit, and pass you my lungful

By mouth

I'd still get some of the thc?

Yeah, especially if we're quick

Yesssss

Please

If you'd rather not smoke tho, this is not what you want

I mean it when i say i dont know what I'm doing. Ive never smoked anything

That's a good thing! I don't want to pressure you into it. Smoke is smoke. Maybe you inhaled some at some point in your life? I don't think the risk is any worse.

Ive inhaled a lot if it actually

So yeah. We are still here (confirmation bias, but who is keeping score?)

I started smoking cigarettes at 16. Then forever and a day, on, off, and again and again until I was 54.

So glad I quit fr

And yeah this time is different

Sounds excellent

Roger, so if you want to get blind drunk, you do you. Is that a practice you know?

Say it differently?

I was actually probing this. Badly lol.

You're asking if i get black out drunk often?

My question is, right

What's your normal drinkedness, and where and how often does black out hit the scale?

Do you have any idea, right now? Im typing my answer

Yep I do

Ok sorry

I'm ready, after you

Rarely get drunk and not not much anyway. BOD is fantasy. Or a taunt. Or a RFI.

I have maybe 1 or 2 or 3 drinks maybe once a quarter, sometimes less. It does not take much for me to get tipsy, then more than that. Ive been blacked out drunk just from alcohol twice ever. Maybe just once, and even then i remember the last thing i said was that i wasnt going to remember anything after that sentence. I stay fun for a long time and get more fun

RFI?

Request for information

Ty all makes sense

Typing with left hand sucks

Lol

Dare i ask?

null

BBQ potato chips

Cute

Gutter mind

And.... that wasnt an answer?

It was!

To my first question of the later evening?

I was working backwards. What q are we at?

The scenario is that I'm totally gone to the wind... can we fuck then?

If you can! Then we shall

That doesn't give me enough answer

But I'll let it slide

Nonono, are you asking is it possible, acceptable, flexible, or ? Maybe someone else?

Fml someone. Sb something

What should I listen to?

What mood do you want?

The one you want lol

Uplifting

But not crazy

I want to know if i want you to do things to and with me in that state, will you?

One song or...?

Yes I will! Anything you want* you know the disclaimer already

Just song to me baby

Sing

Sing a song

Wonderland

Taylor swift

null

In case it's not apparent to a girl with one working eye

The area adjacent to the black pump and underneath the spindle were torn off 10 months ago and look perfect

Ohhhh

I am kinda doofy

Good i like it

♥️

I am a good boy

The goodest

Thank you

Do you have a wonderland link by chance?

https://open.spotify.com/track/2ve0kuaWUCt4Zx8x4bf1MR?si=-faDLGQhRam45UBdKbHcyA

https://open.spotify.com/track/1wtOxkiel43cVs0Yux5Q4h?si=vsLsVYzhTGKg-uLF9h3z5w

Thank you!

😟

Wrong face

null

Tree testicle!

Lol!!

What does Taylor's Version mean to you?

It's actually a legit thing

Her old producer guy Scooter Braun sold her entire work without her knowing ir getting paid for that sale. So she rerecords Taylor's Version when she can and she gets ownership and royalties and whatever if it's her version

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Taylor_Swift_albums_discography

https://www.wikihow.com/What-Does-Taylor%27s-Version-Mean#:~:text=%22Taylor%27s%20Version%22%20means%20the%20album,owns%20the%20rights%20to%20it.

Yeah I read about that. Huge respect for Taylor for pushing back!

But what does the song itself mean to you?

Which song?

Wonderland, Taylor's version.

Gotcha

(Confusion here because when she rerecords, it gets the sub tag "Taylor's version" no matter which song it is, plus i sent you more than 1 song just now)

All good

In a cheesy synopsis, just be happy in your daydream with whoever joins you

And it's all probably fleeting anyway

But the song in general just makes me happy and feels like im dancing in panties and an oversized button up with a messy bun while making you breakfast and dancing around a living room

I have no further questions

You are amazing

Why? I mean, what for now?

I love to see a girl turning l genuinely feeling free

If that's what this is

Wow thanks autocorrect

Love to see you feeling free

null

:)

Sweet baby

I need to do kitchen things... Afk 30-60 ok

Bébé

Same!

null

Who has the guttermind?

null

Wow my mind is stright out in the ocean right now. Flat iut left that gutter

Do tell

Euphemisms for

Goo
Nozzle
Servicing
Cats

I'm sorry. What ever are you talking about?

Gnsc

Is this secret code?

Good night sweet cherry?

Just a list

Is that it?

Letters mean nothing

Gonna nookie some chick

?

You kids

Omg

You have goo, and a nozzle, and i want both, servicing this kitty cat of mine

You are truly

Truly

Scrumptious

Mmm

We'll see about that

Hopefully soon

It's not peeing is it. Your secret kink.

You think i have a secret one?? Lol

But also nope

Thank full. I am allergic to pee

I get quite silly smh

Which smh..,?

Lol

Try me. Free samples!

Good. I like cream filling

You have such good taste

Hey, why do you think I'm "scary smart"? What makes you think and say that

You have none, lol. That's why i like yours best of all

Scary does have the wrong tone.

I think you are very smart. You are well read. Well studied. A quick and critical thinker. Very intelligent!

And your sense of humor is fucking awesome

I have all respect. I come from a family full of teachers.

But you know that lol

I dont disagree with the descriptor, i knew what you meant

Brb, afk

null

2024-10-04T23:29:55

You still up?

Down baby girl

Dtf

Jeeeesus

Down your dark alleys

Cats aight?

This is how I address my beloved fur babies actually

Sorry meant no disrespect

Omg

I don't care you have me, you I'm dtf however you want

Sorry, got dizzy, too many words

How you doing?

Ok. You?

Splendid

Anything you want to share about your day?

Idk
Did lots of thrift shopping, have good art craft ideas. Scolded & silent treatment then needy now idk
Cleaned a lot

Something new though... i think my body wants you??

Hi body! Why on earth were you scolded? And the punishment?

I like you

Because i spent too much time looking at stuff and getting what i felt like without permission

I like you too

Boys

I do get tired of shopping sometimes. But you keep it fun,!

I am a boy as well. As much as I'm unsure I like the label

You told me you reject the label

But also.... we shopped at the same places, just separately. He didn't like that i got what i felt like

Ohhhh

Did you offend him?

Did you buy A dildo that says "Daddy" on it?

Nope

Housewares mostly

And frames

And books

No knickers?

Thrift stores

So painted ceramic dildos

Obviously

Speaking of toys

Eh?

You think of what you want to use on or in or with me yet?

Sure!

Do you like vibe with your dildo?

I dont know enough

Oh ok. All good.

We should go to a toy store

Honestly all I want

All I really really want

You've seen in my closet too

But I want to give you more than everything you want

So tell me more taboo things

You are so amazing

I have this new thing where i give what i get

Ooooooh aren't you sweet

I will give you what you like

As long as i give you more

Or take, depending on the act ;)

I want you more than that

Ha ha now what

Anything you want

So whatll it be?

Will you surreptitiously reveal yourself to me

Doesn't matter public or private

Give me a nice flash. You decide what and when

You turn me on so much

I apparently dont know what this means

But yes

Haha

Fiiiine

I know surreptitiously, i know reveal

Maybe you set up a scenario where I see down your blouse

Ooohhh i understand better now

I have something much better in mind

Ohhhh

Let your imagination run wild

I like to be teased

You'll have no idea and then

Poof

The tease taunts

Tease me all you like

Are you having naughty thoughts

You're a lyrics girl. I think you'd like this.

https://open.spotify.com/track/3N2UhXZI4Gf64Ku3cCjz2g?si=k73gLJbfRQWr9sQdkcqfRQ&context=spotify%3Aalbum%3A49MNmJhZQewjt06rpwp6QR

And this

https://open.spotify.com/track/0oeEqyEAavgPfFxDYvjAP6?si=NG0rpdJbRhmbIssC7E4wHA

If you only listen to one of the above, choose the second

2024-10-05T06:46:09

Good morning babe!

2024-10-05T09:05:43

Good morning!

How ya doin?

A little spacey yet
Sure is nice out!

Yeah!

Still spacey whycome?

Just woke up

Well half an hour ago anyway

Plans??

Pick one please

null

The bird!

I think I'm going to spend a lot of time organizing

Fun!

Fave animals?

Fairy tale?

Oh gosh I dunno

Headed on a boat tour :]

Watch out for sharks!

2024-10-05T13:21:08

Esp the salty ones!

Animals and fairy tales or lore please!

2024-10-05T14:23:16

I always liked the story of the crow and the pitcher

https://aesopsfables.org/F69_The-Crow-and-the-Pitcher.html

2024-10-05T16:10:43

So how YOU doin?

Pretty good 😁

Organized?

Slightly more than before
Only slightly

I keep getting distracted. Clean a little, draw some workspace plans, organize a little, repeat

How was your boat ride?

Fine thanks. Organized tour

I am playing geologist now

There's a cool vintage record store jn downtown alpena, just fyi

null

You think about me much today?

I've thought about you all day!

I've never been to Alpena. Looks like fun geology!

null

null

Whaddya reckon it is (or was)?

No idea! I just picked the ones i thought looked cool

null

That was coral

So these thoughts about me today.... completely pure & innocent?

As pure as the blue blue waters of Huron

As pristine as a new snow

Ohh I'm sure lol

Any less than squeaky clean?

Oh it was very squeaky. As innocent as a newborn baby

null

I'm going to remove the little vertical shelf sitting in the back left corner of the bench

But I would like a regular shelf roughly where the amazing likeness is drawn in green

I'm thinking kinda diminutive... Maybe 12 long x 8 deep

For putting down phone, pipe, beer, etc. Off the bench

I've been repairing some things. About to fix this lamp cord

Sorry, had to be afk suddenly

It all sounds great!

I might fall asleep for a quick sec but would love to hear every thought you had today

😘

Scoff! Denying me!? You know i love for the details

How cruel. Very well

Live for. Damn Freudian slips

Well I've made the most progress on bench & shelf org. And I repaired a lamp cord, and replaced another. I also drew my little work area in SketchUp (ever used it? It's the only way I can draw lol), and modeled adding a shelf, but ruled that out. But ruled in a 40" power strip to be mounted on the wall at the back of my bench.

Good day all in all!

Absolutely! Hopefully we can make some of next weekend a little better ;)

I have not used that program. I am very very old school

Moi aussi!

I have A yen for mechanical drawing. SketchUp is so fun for me! Lol I still have my drafting board from HS

I knew how to use CADD a bit in high school

Not sure if it counts as mechanical, but architectural history is fascinating and appealed to the tiny side of math skills i have. Took a really cool class my 5th year of HS called Housing & Home Furnishing and the final project was to build a dream house or business

That sounds lkke a fun project! I have modeled a couple in SketchUp too!

Whatcha doin now?

null

Looking good!

I have a surprise I will show later... Remind me!

Okay!

I have one I'm thinking of saying

Ooooooh?

Yep!

You wanna guess or should i tell you later?

null

Fantastic!

This is making me feel so relaxed for a change lol

Mmm yesss

You didn't call a man cave as such. What did you call it?

null

I am planning to make a tape rack--or two really, to hold all the tape spools

Spotify loves me
https://open.spotify.com/track/3kXoKlD84c6OmIcOLfrfEs?si=mex564Z6SLCBnc1k5G2DoA

null

null

*valance

null

null

Perfect!

I may habe an addition, kind of

2024-10-06T00:30:01

What is it?

I am so interested to know!

Just a sticker

You awake for a while?

Yo

Yes?

Hieeee

Missed you

I missed you, too

How is the night?

Really good, low key

Did you nap

For a few hours, yeah

What are you doing now?

Colon

Thinking about cleaning up a record

*chilling

Lolol

What kind of mood are you in?

Also, just saw some The 1975 records in a video and they're liquid filled and omg

Sweet!

Feeling upbeat and warm

I'm really happy to hear from you

Im so thankful youre around

Today was a birthday and so i couldn't do much to get away and on my phone. I'm sorry

Mellow or not right now?

Of course babe, no worries. Very mellow here, yes.

Want a mellow ish soundtrack?

Yeah hit me up

https://open.spotify.com/album/24mCiOTIF5Ob1uwluRFERv?si=zZdmkxlwQmabjZzX7Mee0g

I wish i could be with you right now

You have no ieea

*idea

How would you make me feel better if something was wrong but i couldn't say much more than that?

Pretty bummed

What's wrong?

Whoops I misread that

I would whisper in your ear

Fuck that I would lick your ear

And kiss your mouth

null

Very nice!

The 1975 use clear sometimes

Anyway, about me feeling better...

Give me your tongue girl

You're cute

I really liked it when you sucked my fingers

Which time?

Vinnie's

And the other time

I liked doing that

You make me melt

You do more than that for me

How was your day? You seem somewhat in agreement with current environs

It was alright thanks. Struggling now. Dont know what i should do

Say more?

Hmm

I don't know what will make me feel better for this intense and immediate but also temporary unsettlementand unrest i am feeling

I would hug you if I were there rn

Thank you

Do i sleep? Clean? Online shop? Take meds? Drink caffeine?

What kind of meds?

Online shop looks really good rn

I need your help

Anxiety meds

I'd love to help. Perhaps you can do the same

Ok!

How can I help?

You tell me first

I believe I was licking your ear

Probably nibbling by now

What makes a pretty princess feel better?

I like your nipples
I think I will go there right after I snog your pity neck

*pretty

You're far too good to me

You needed help with something... is this it?

I need your crafty skills!

I will give you free use of me

Guess what I got in the mail?!

Shoot

null

I will let you borrow it if you want

Cuuuuute!!!

I might wear it to bed tomorrow

No one might notice?

Nah

She doesn't sleep there most days

Oh, okay

If you were allowed to buy me 3 things regardless of their monetary value, what would you choose? Obv why too. Like granting 3 wishes, which will be the next topic lol

Not my best time for critical thinking lol

But here goes

Are you off with the substance fae or just sleepy?

The former

You can pause til later

What did they choose for you tonight?

I can still be a good boy tho

Same as last night actually, but in somewhat improved ambience

And now listening to Johnny Marr records I bought a week ago.

They're blue!

null

Fabluelous!!!

null

Very very cool

Like its daddy

Aww

Pop quiz: do you know the 2 names you're basically never allowed to call me? Unless we're obviously kidding around

I'm not sure actually. Did you point them out?

Not that I want to make this awkward

I thought so but could be mistaken. I know i didnt emphasize tne point

Awkward is always fine :)

Calling me a bitch and/or a whore is not in your best interest

I shall not.
I reserve b-- for people I really despise
Wh-- is only on my vocab as an ironic character

What made you think of such things

I dont care if you use them, i even throw them around, just don't spit them AT me

Just going through the ruminating per usual

Ok no worries babe
You are too sweet to me

Why say that last part? Just reassurance?

Yes

Okay then. Thanks

You never told me what getting high is like

Well let me try!

Haha okay

For me anyway

Sometimes it's like pulling out the ghosty icky part of me that worries and squabbles and fixates on things and gets frustrated by it.

That sounds beyond amazing

More to follow

It just drifts away from the top of my spine

And for me

I start to get really fixated on what I'm doing... With one huge caveat

??

I'm lucky if I can remember what I'm doing from one moment to the next unless it's literally in front of me

I get very forgetful

And yet I also get good at cooking, or cleaning, if I'm in the mood

I also have theory I've been waiting over a year to try out

Okay

I think sex would be so amazing

But alas

Here I am

Without

Anyhoo

I'm confused now

Is sex not in our future?

And all the rest?

I hope so!

I want you now

I love you, and i love being wanted, and it would be amazing to have you everywhere in and on and around me

Have you fucked high before.?

No

Ohhhhhhh

I had no idea

I had a 20 year gap in smoking weed

Also didnt know that

And in the 90s good weed was not always around

Right

I have a statement query

You know that i want to tell you everything but some stuff i absolutely can't, right??

So i release it to you in the universe. I hope you feel what i need you to

I did not understand there is something you absolutely can't tell me.

It's ok though

I pick up what you're putting down

Did you nod off on me lol
I wish you could
Literally pass out on top of me

I would love to feel you next to me

2024-10-06T07:15:15

Good morning my sweetest!

I did nod off. I would love to fall asleep on you too... new goal??

We should make an actual list of goals

You have plans today?

One of my very silly purchases yesterday was less than $1 but really cool. It's an old photo. Says "peru" on it but who knows??

I think it'll make the perfect oddity ifwhen i do a dark academia or gothic feel.

2024-10-06T10:10:31

Hieeee!

2024-10-06T11:27:45

How are you?

Doing well. Starting to organize more

I ordered a small lathe!

I need to clear a space for it. Should not be too big a product, but very dusty

N95 where are youuuu?

Tell me more!

Lol

Just a small bench top wood lathe so I can make lathey things

Round things

It goes around

What's on your agenda today?

Chilling out, cleaning some more, going into town to grab a little food, idk what else. Still thinking I might try reading. Will prob sleep more

And you?

Also, you needed ceaft assistance maybe?

Kinda. I'll be on the lookout for a couple things for the hobby bench

A canister or something for screwdrivers and other pointy tools

Something better to keep pens and pencils in

A short shelf (no more than 12") to go over the bench so I have a safe place to set down the phone &c.

I might have things youd be welcome to, depending on aesthetic

I have shelving thing but unsure if it would be deep enough or if it's too girly

I use vases, cups, planters, decorated cans, lots of stuff to hold misc tall objects like pens & tools. And i have a ton and always get more. Just a thought

Are you going for a decor theme?

Yeah that's the idea for sure. I would rather find or reuse something

No theme here

Well

Maybe industrial?

I mean my theme is cardboard & plywood so yeah 😉

Lol not forever

Colors & patterns you like & dont?

I'm pretty easy

If I find a jar with purple unicorns I'll probably use it

Lol

I can make that happen in a lot of ways

I got you!

Yay!

How many? Rough sizes?

I also have lamps if you want any

And am happily crafty if you'd rather a lamp base be a table base or plant stand or whatever

Do you have a dremel?

I can also redecorate anything with spray paint and use watetproof mod podge like a mf lol

Par example....

null

Nice!

Thanks! Made of literal trash

Napkin + spam can

Spam can ftw!

Exactly!

I thrive off of repurposing

Tshirt i like but cant fit? Starched wall art or new tote bag for me!

Or I mean you could just wear it for me

Not if it gives me trex arms

null

Well shoot

No more productivity today i guess

Lol

I should have a couple Dremels. Maybe I will unearth one today

I actually need it to fix my dead bolt

Interesting

Isn't it so

I bet you wont guess the 2 reaspns ive used a dremel

To cut your friend's nipple ring off

And to break into your car when LR locked the keys in

Not so much, though both are equally likely for irl scenarios lol

To grind down mug handles when i dont want them on the drinking vessel

To help carve pumpkins

Ahh! "High speed", as we say in the biz

Haha, yeah

You expected something less?!

Not at all lol

Have you or a partner ever been physically hurt or otherwise injured in any sexcapades? (Not intending this to be sfunnjust real life info)

Not really. In later years, her back would hurt, but that's kind of a given. No injury from the sex per se

Congrats! That's kind of uncommon to hear no injuries

Most stories end up funny after a while

I wish I had sexcapades

I'll tell you mine :)

Im good time

In

Going to sift & thrift soon. Requests?

Lol you are a good time too
Thriftmaker thriftmaker make me a thrift

Well then i have exciting news for you!!!

OMG I just found coriander seeds I made from a hydroponic grow. Was not expecting that

Great work! Do you enjoy cilantro?

I love it

Seeds are tasty

I will put unreasonable amounts of cilantro in things. It's so good

Hahahahahhaahaha

Just found something excelleht for you

Uh oh lol

2024-10-06T17:22:21

Oh shush. What havent you liked from me so far??

😗

How's the day been?

Good! I made another area ready to be more productive And less dusty

Lots more to do but this is a really good advancement

I am done for the moment though

And I feel absolutely filthy. Only in body though. Not in my thoughts at all ever

Oh im sure!

Maybe shower then tell me what your thoughts could have been, if you didnt have a spotless & innocentmind

Well I've showered
Am I supposed to feel dirty now? I don't feel dirty. Even my snow white thoughts

What would the opposite of those thoughts be, then?

I
I
I wouldn't even pretend to know

Such a shame

What can you tell me of such things?

Havent had the experiences i thought might be prudent to gain such sweet, carnal knowledge between two similarly subby sluts

😋

Did you triumph at thrifting?

Obviously!

Found you some possibilities. If you dont want them I'll use them

Ooh!

Might need to know more preferences of yours but there's time

I am dying to know your weekend thoughts

I need a good reason to be out of the house all day!

Well yes, but i was more referring to what transpired in that cranium of yours this past weekend

I'm excited to have space for hobbies. There is still lots to do but today I felt like I saw real progress.

I'm glad you've been able to stay in touch! That made it so much more fun

Glad to hear!

Jsyk, it's actually taken me a considerable effort

Youre worth it

How's the week ahead looking?

Hope it's been an okay evening for you

2024-10-06T23:49:38

It has
You made it so 😊

You sure?

You were very quiet

2024-10-07T04:33:33

Yes absolutely!
I was so tired. I think I drifted off at 2100.
But look at me now lol. It's only half four and I am wide awake. Just made coffee

Whatcha doin today Missy?

2024-10-07T05:47:36

Hallo!

How's the coffee? Do you drink a specific brand?

I am returning home today

Yay!

The coffee was lovely. I get beans from Fresh Thyme and mix them. Grind to order. My fav blend rn is 50/50 Guatemalan and Sumatran

Hey you're up early innit?

null

Actually a bit late for my usual

But you are!

True that. I wonder if I am slipping back into getting up really early.

What time is normal for you?

Usually between 4 and 5. If it's before 4 i try to go back to sleep

Nice

That was me today

Yay!

😊

Are you happy to be coming home?

Yes mostly

I'm sort of motivated to really get house stuff done. At the same time there's so much more i would like to do here

But there's you at home too!

Here I am!

What's on your mind?

Lol I'm trying to organize my bench a little. I just found a container and some tools I didn't know I had.

Oh fun!

May i male a suggestion?

I'd rather you female it but please go ahead

Lol whatever you say

When you have all of your tools and implements gathered, collect them in one bucket or otherwise large vessel. I will clean and sort them, you'll pick your new storage stuff from my curated selection and they'll look so new and spiffed up

Wowser

That would be awesome. I am cleaning a few select items but the whole lot could use some love

null

What am i doing??

null

Cleaning the bejeesus it of something

Baking soda or bleach powder?

Think chemocal reaction

NaHCO3

Possibly physical?

I didnt have silver polish/tarnish remover. Alukinum foil, super hot water, baking soda

Ah yeah right. The ol' silver treatment. What is the object?

A few trays

Nice!

null

null

Best of luck!

null

Cuteness

Enjoy the work!

Oh sure lol. I have two "tentative placeholder for interview" today. HR masterminds at their finest lol

Ofc!

2024-10-07T12:46:42

And now i depart :)

😊

null

You having a day?

null

null

null

When are you less busy?

Yeah it's a day. Some down time between 1430 and 1530

Lookit these two cuties right here!

Lol
I meant nonworking hours.....

Probably around 1730 :)

And the rest of the week?

Who knows lol. I have a coworker who has a proclivity to set up meetings for every. Little. Thing.

And after work, I got nothing but time, except sometimes I make dinner.

Tiny meeting suckkkkkk

Proving it is possible to be too inclusive

2024-10-07T16:18:35

Oh definitely

Made it back!

Yay!

Welcome back!

Thanks!

2024-10-07T17:40:49

It is 1740 now

Sorry I got caught up polishing the plane blades. I'm quite amazed at how well the cutter kept its edge. I'm sure it hasn't been seen to in over 30 years and was covered in rust.

So the elecrolyzing went well?

It sure did!

My bucket now looks like somebody pulled up a gallon of root beer and sprinkled cinnamon on top

I dont think it tastes the same

Please resist the temptation to try the concoction

Yeah I think I will not be trying that

How was the trip back?

I slept, so it was alright. Forgot how bad this house is but it's fine

Bad?

Messy and dirty

This is why I don't allow people in my house lol

I lovvvvvve cleaning though

And i dont care what anyone's house looks like unless it's too clean then i get uneasy

It's just a thing

I get it. I've been cleaning some really bad corners lately. I'm fine with doing that. Crucially though, they had either my things or neutral. What I can deal with is the 75% oh the house that is literally her things her there and everywhere

Before you point out that you do too--i will clarify that almost nothing here is even remotely where it should be. There are literally piles in every room of everything

Unsure what i would be pointing out but you're totally fine

Mine is more anxiety and trauma response than anything else. And i dont remember when it wasnt

But i really do enjoy cleaning. I hate it when i have no physical energy ledt to do it though and so it's left unfinished

So what kinds of goodies did you find that made it worth the trip?

Tons! I have lots of craft and upgrade things to do now. Some new wall decor obv. A few books. Maybe things that'll help you

I always get and like prety plates and containers

Nice!

Do you like plates with pictures painted on them?

Sometimes, depends on the picture

China service?

Always like that stuff, but kinda still depends on what the painted thing is. Floral? Nature? Swirls and stuff? Yes. Too much late 1960s? Not my thing

Oops lol

Sorry

I meant PLATES

Lol

I realllllly like other things from then

The late 60s are not really known for refined taste

With some exceptions of course

I know

Lol

Hey that reminds me... Do you have a couch?

Somewhere

null

Lololol

Because?

Well I've never screwed on a couch but it looks like it could be fun

Absolutely

So you're still up for these activities? Most excelleny

Like you thought I changed my mind or??

Yeah

Why because you have Alpena cooties now?

Maybe lol

Just me thinking again

I should probably stop that

Just stick to positive thoughts

It's hard

I will try

I know it is. I struggle too. I am glad you are back though!

Me too. It wasnt great up there

How do? Was it the isolation?

Kind of? It was suffocating and some things are more obvious in a cage, of thmt makes sense

Is the house really small

Yeah

https://www.realtor.com/realestateandhomes-detail/3729-S-US-Highway-23_Greenbush_MI_48738_M43335-00036

But there's sooooo much that crowds in the space in the meantime

Would it be better there with someone else or is it just terrible no matter what

I was there with L for his birthday

I know that

Sorry meant with someone besides L

Ohh. With most people it would be just fine, enjoyable even. There's just nowhere for me to go or anything i can do when I'm with him or my mother. Esp in that setting. And I've already been scolded by each of them for cleaning and reminded how i am this and that and other hurtful things and cant do anything right and i know there will be more to come of that

Makes sense

Maybe you should hook up your mother and L

Kinda joking

She likes him vetter than me and i anyway

Intentional grammar

Wow

??

It's just an odd situation

null

Oh

Me too

I just unboxed an order I placed on Discogs.com a couple days before we went to the record store

These cats used empty record jackets to protect the contents inside the packing (a great idea and much appreciated)

I thought this one was kind of funny

Oh that's amazing!

So I have four empty jackets if you want them

There were two packages. Two jackets each

Perhaps. Thank you!

I can't bring myself to toss them!

Would you feel better if i just went ahead and said yes?

Lol it's fiiiiiine

I'll just hang in to them until you spend the night

You mean until you do?

I can also explain why id say pegaps and not an immediate yes

Either way

And no I don't understand

Because i never wabt you to think I'm taking too much and i feel greedy a lot of the time

I can assure you I am nowhere in the realm of such thoughts

Okay :)

😊

Okay

Besides, you've been very generous to me :)

I dont really think so (from my perspective) but thank you

Well you have been in my opinion. In any case, we agreed! We will say something before icky feelings get the better of us. As best as we can.

Thank you 🙂

I tried to smile in an emojibut chonky thumbs lol

Lol

Almost have a kitchen corner done!

Yay!

null

Wonderful!

Which are you looking forward to most?

Which what now?

null

Nvm I am so dense sometimes. Mine is on the right with the feta & green olives. And jalapenos cut fine.

Can you eat bell pepper, or is that too close to capsicum?

That's how i learned i was allergic lol

Ah. So that's out

Vegetable wise, basically nothing peppers

I don't eat green olives

I won't eat cooked celery and hate when celery is chopped into other things. I enjoy it as a flavored fats vessel thoigh

Everything else is fine i think

Mmm flavored fat vessels are the bomb

Yes! Black olives are one of my favorite foods lol. And kalamata

Lol you just answered my next question

Rama and I both love green olives

Nope

But he only has one at a time where I have like 40

null

A bell!?

Yes. Possibly an old telephone ringer

There are just a few oddities like this that the old man who built the place left behind

It's awesome! Thank you for thinking of me :)

Any idea what it's made of?

All steel but for the two coils. The plate is also coated black. I'm not sure if it's paint or this old time black tool finish I can't think of the name of RN

Oh yeah -- it was called Japanning. It uses a substance called asphaltum and some other smelly things. I watched a guy make some on YT

Interesting!

Some of the YT refinishers/ restorers are quite good

Any sort of glassware, animal, weird kitchy sort of things i can locate here for you?

Cats are usually a safe bet :)

At some point I will be in the market for a glass stirring rod, for the chemistry side of the hobby bench

I do not have one of those

You're dabbling in chemical hobbies thay require a glass stir stick??

Not really require... But glass is keen bc it's non reactive. Also makes a good pouring guide

Yes, just trying to imagine what you'll be doing there lol

No worries. I'm not going to do anything dangerous

Famous last movie character words

Cannnnn you tell me?

Btf?

No... Star wars lol

A whole lot of movies lol

Lol

Bambi

Lol

I have better questions tonight i think

At least more fun if that's of interest

Ok sure!

I need some sweet dream material so I might have a couple as well

I think you were in a dream last night actually. But it wasn't fun

It wasn't icky either. Just weird. Like dreams are

Since you're away I'll just tell you ...

We were in some big city, in a part where people don't really walk. And it was dark

Sorry, had to climb stairs

And I felt like I had to go somewhere. But you didn't want me to. But I needed to. So I started walking. In the dark. In a place where people don't do that

But I had to get something. I don't recall what, but we needed it. So off I went

And that was the whole scene

I didn't like going against your wishes, to but I had to get the thing for us

You're positive this was a dream?

Yes last night

Hmm. Okay, weird. Did you want to say more about it?

I did not feel scared. I knew it was a scary place, according to people. But I felt nothing but determination

You have no idea what you or we needed?

I don't have any idea

Huh

I've had a lot of little vignettes lately. All but forgotten now. Random things might remind me of one, like just now

I could use more romantic dreams. I don't often have them

I dont dream

Not really

I did for a few days after "you" and it was wild

Really?

Yes

Which part?

After me

Oh. Yes. I have ideas why. Lots of emotions even though i don't usually feel, finally relaxed for a bit, didn't have regrets, slept for 2 days basically. Almost 3

You felt a big wave!

Several. Of varying sorts

Good? Bad? Indifferent?

Yes. And just weird and maybe confused

Everything was to me with you

Dang we need to practice

Yes

And i was thinking about trying that thing wherein people realize they have value as a human. Seems tricky

And i missed the word "new" up there

Everything was new to me with you, not just because you were a new partner

I want to be so good for you

Am the time

And there for you

I want so so much of you

This isn't a fair question but I will ask anyway

Do you think you could set the value in you if you were with me?

*see

Why isn't it a fair question?

And i already did/do, so yes

Ok I was not sure

What's your mood rn?

Fat,happy,and sleepy

Full of fresh veg

For a change

What do you usually eat?

Often some kinda fake meat like veggie burger, and frozen veg. Or pasta and sauce.

Thanks

I feel like I need to cut back a bit on some of those things though. Not eliminate, but I don't like to get too dependent on them

I need to start making bread again

And soup

And beans in the pressure cooker

It IS that time.of year!

Yesss!

Seriously.. I will make a pot of beans and eat burritos for a week. I like em that much

And cilantro. Lots and lots of it

Dont forget rice! Rice + beans = a complete protein

Righto!

I like to make rice too.

Straight up, or with tomatoes

Do you know how to make super easy burrito casserole?

Hmm! I know something like that but enchiladas-like... Using plain old corn chips

Mine is easier

I want to know!

Get frozen burritos (or maoe your own)

Place them side by side in a slow cooker or baking dish

Cover them with salsa or picante sauce or enchilada sauce or whatever

Add cooked rice

Add corn

Add more of whatever you have around

Cheese. Lots of all sorts of cheese

Make it hot

Ta da!

That is awesome

Thank you

I do the same idea with pasta/pizza bowls

Nice!

I make bread suitable for soup bowls. On a good day I'll make the bread and the soup at the same time

null

Yes....?

Oh! A soup bowl!

So... weed, right?

So weed yeah?

I am beyond excited

But anyway, how does smoking it work?

Where does youra comes from?

Does it just get chopped into tiny pieces and dried and put into paper like a cigarette?

We get it from one of the dispensaries, I don't even know which. They're everywhere lol. RLH picks out 5 or 6 that look good to her. I am not so picky, but it's kind of incredible what variety is available. I like to put it in a pipe. I have a little grinder that makes a nice even consistency

Thanks

It's lights out time for me sweetest one

I love you! Maybe see you early in the morn!

I love you too!

Actual sighting?

On the intertext lol

😊

🥰

null

2024-10-08T04:56:26

Good morning my sweetest one!

2024-10-08T06:36:08

And to you as well!

So you have to go in to the office today?

And tomorrow

Blecch sorry

I will be T W Th next week

Chez AFHQ?

Si

Grupo AF

The only company that's AF af

Yeah you aren't kidding

What color top should i wear?

Black with tiny hearts

null

You look great with a heart on!

Lol. Similar sentiment here, for you!

Aww thanks

null

Have breakfast yet?

Not yet

I was just thinking of that

Been working on a reconciliation for almost 90 minutes

Sometimes i do recs that take literally 3 work days

I commiserate!

What colors or materials would woinyoust in your redone area?

Metal, wood, glass, acrylic, etc?

Solid colors, chrome, black, white, red, sparkle, pattern...?

It's pretty utilitarian. But I'm trying to brighten it up. I need lots of light in work areas. So lighter, brighter, or reflective is good!

I can make all of that work!

I have a couple shelf ideas - you tell me which is more in line with your ideas please (images to follow)

Sweet!

Okay well no images, but i have options and spray paint and can always get more

Did you need floor shelves or anything?

Another thought for some hanging shelves is to get a hook/finneal/nail and repurpose a shower caddy. Works well for succulents!

Do you need any kind of furniture?

I might actually want floor shelves if they're sturdy. I know I just bought some. They're full lol!

I would take a rolling stool if I found one. I have an old lab chair I salvaged but it kinda sucks lol

Maybe, you'll have to be the judge of its sturdinss lol. It is little but held a lot of book weight!

Like a doctor's rolling stool?

Have you ever been to April's Antiques or Dicker & Deal? On kalamazoo. Walking distance from afhq if youre ambitious

Yeah perfect idea for the shelf and stool. I go to D&D pretty often, but I don't think I've been to April's

Oh wait, yes I have lol

The ones next to each other

It's been a while

There is also D&D on cedar South of Mt hope

Was coscarellis restaurant back in the day

I haven't been to either lol. Probably paying a visit to April's today. Maybe. Thinking about Habitat Restore but i havent been there before

I have some excellent wall decor for you now too! Or i could refashion it into a tray

2024-10-08T11:31:28

Omggggghhhĥ

What's happening?

More of the new norm, i guess?

Just felt likecomplaining lol

Come get what they're feeding us and hang out with me. My customer service voice & persona are hilarious

😊

What are they feeding you?

Tacos e mas is what the email said

It's always fucking Mexican food

Fine, just...... i am very limited in what i can choose

Peppers e mas amiright

You betcha

And depends on the cook what peppera and how many are in anything

What we need is some Becca e mas

And most mexiseasoning is a mixture of peppers

Nah we need fucking and kissing and sexing e mas

😃

I am tiny and small and can probably fit under your desk

I am pepper free

My lips are well lubricated

E mas

Where do you like to go out to eat?

I can find something almost anywhere. That's the best i can give you. I'm kind of a mood eater and usually dont eat at a place but I'll have it at home

You?

I rarely eat out unless I'm working in the office. I can also find something almost anywhere, but there are a couple places I will never go (Meat, for example). otherwise I'm not really picky. RLH can be hypercritical at times so I usually avoid the whole idea

Well now I'm crying all alone in my stupid office with a stupid plate of chips. Chips.

null

Well shit

And the taco choices were chicken or beef

And my director didnt know i had allergies

Everybody in this damn service center knows about me and peppers

OMG this is like every other good day for me everywhere

I'm sorry

*FOOD DAY dammit

Good day?

Lol okay

Queso? Pepper chunks
Salsa? Ummmmm no
No separate sides/toppings
Meats are all already seasoned in any event

I am so flippin let down every day i come here

Is there not a single vegetarian in the service center?

There are

And i am on the allergy list

Sounds like a fail

It is always a fail

So shopping after work it is

Spouse of line decided he didnt want to work (his pto so totally fine)

He is still sleeping

The car hasnt even been unpacked except what i got out because it needed refrigeration

I would be cleaning all day

He is sleeping. Must be too tired from all the resting he did this weekend

I'm so sorry. What a shitty shit show for you.

It's always this way. It would be nice to not expect and be exhausted by this all the time

I am sooooooo tired right now. I think a wave smacked me. Rude.

Took a shot of caffeine. Here's hoping!

Disappointment is disappointing :(

Very much. And i added to it just now but whatever

Guess what i just did thatll be good for me??

Ate chocolate?

Psht

Nope. Better

Esp because.... how much do i love chocolate again?

You want to bathe in it

I want you to bathe it off of me, but that's different lol

You have to lick and suck a whole lot to get it off

Just sayin

Good

You drizzling it or am i?

That's an actual question - who sauces whom?

Let's practice with whipped cream. Much fewer consequences

So I hand you the can

You
A) apply it to my nose
B) apply it to your nipples
C) yes

Next I have the can. What shall I do?
I know!

I will draw a bead from your knee to your hip. Yum yum

Are you still playing?

Fuckkkkkk that's intriguing!

Sorry, actual work beckoned

You MIGHT need to hold me down, steady me. Nice, firm, assertive... while i squirm and contirt and flex ecstatically

PSA: i might have a ton already but i have decided i need more frames for some projects

Oh definitely. I'm not letting whipped cream go to waste now.

Do you need pics for the frames?

I have tons of flowers

null

Very nice!

Kind of the opposite so far - i need less art lol

Ok lol

One day though!

What kind of art do you like?

Meh mostly

I like Escher I guess

I'm not full of culture

Idk I am generally put off by things people do in the name of art

And Wally world kitch is absolutely the worst thing that ever happened

I basically agree with you

So do you not gravitate toward one movement or another in terms aesthetic pleasure either?

Say more?

I like impressionism is an example

I don't really identify with anything like that

All my friends in HS fawned over one artist or another. I just can't

I get it

For me, i like almost all art and appreciate it. Well, most. Impressionism is just somewherw at my core from so much love for it when i was really young. I identify with VanGogh and Matisse. I like all sorts of stuff. I'll die happy if i never have to study roots of western art from egypt ever again. I had to learn that a million times over, again and again

Where are some favorite places youve ever been?

Up state Michigan (near Wolverine/Vanderbilt), Ozarks, Ireland, Scotland. Oh, and Olympic nat park area in WA.

I'm not well travelled but I've mostly loved the places I've been

Upstate Michigan will forever be a special place to me because I've been to the same area literally dozens of times since age 4 or 5

Cool!

Could you narrow that down at all?

I'm freeeeeeeee

Yay!

Narrow down like how?

County Wicklow, for eg

Braemar

/Cairngorms

pigeon River State Forest

Elwha river

That's somewhat more precise

Okay okay thankd

Was hoping there was a favorite favorite

Finally home

Do you have thoughts or opinions on animated movies?

Generally like them

How to train your dragon was killer

Saw it in 3d

Don't forget the last Airbender!

Epic

Epic as an adjective or a proper noun?

Both actually

Sorry no

Non proper noun, and adjective

I grew up on old school Looney Tunes

still favorites

Old Disney animated movies ofc

I bet RobinHood is a fave

And Sword in the Stone

It's been a long time but yeah

Jungle book!

I have the soundtrack to the first Disney production!

Oh nice!

I am ever building a disney collection. I know you're surprised lol

That's a great collection to have

Mostly books

Please come rescue her

null

Aww!

She is tidying prohibitive!

Wanna talk about anything?

Sure babe! What's on your mind?

I asked you first :)

Right lol

Well I just got rid of another bag of trash and junk from the basement

I'm getting close to recovering a significant amount of floor space

Feels good

Yay!

And I think I've figured out what my first serious project will be with the lathe. I'll make another hair thingy but I found a small piece of very fancy purple heart wood

Have you ever been to Johnson's in Chartucky?

Haven't even heard of it

It's full of wood and woodcraft tools. Everything you could imagine. Most of it rather expensive, but small pieces of fancy wood are not too dear

Oh fun!

In Charlotte?

Yes that's it

There's a thriftiquey place there that looks cool

I'm sure lol. It's Chartucky!

You could also always find a big piece of wood being randomly used (frame, shelf, whatever) and scrap it for parts lol

That's a great idea!

I'll be looking on the ground too

Well always!

Might find pennies to fund my newly revitalized hobbies

Maybe!

I just bought $210 of stuff at Amazon lol. Glad I waited for prime day... Saved over 70!

Also, think of things as components and not as what they are. Awful art in a gorgeous frame? Now the frame is yours and you can put whatever in it, even just a mirror. Or a calendar.

Cool belt buckle but worn belt? Now you can glue it to a barrette

Cool beltstrap, plain buckle? Now it's your new bag handle

Awesome cylindrical lampshade but no lamp to go with it? Put it around a dollar store trash bin and now you have a pretty office wastebasket

Ooooooh what did you get?

I just find stuff in my house or the wild lol

You're so resourceful!

Super worn out books at thrift stores make awesome wall hangings too
Esp classic passages, kids books, art books, band books, old sheet music...

You should open an Etsy store lol

Or still your stuff at the Michigan crafty store in old town

Pins you like but wouldnt wear? Cool. It's a magnet now

Or random costume jewelry? They're tiny tree ornaments

I've thought about it

I also spot valuable stuff pretty decently

Nice! I've bought quite a few things from that shop

I could perhaps be persuaded to sell you goods and/or servjces...

Omg cleaning, you guttermind!

Ummm, I was only going to suggest batting for some of my services

*bartering

I told you I'm greedy now lol

Entirely your fault though

It would be hilarious if I hired you as a maid. RLH is supposed to be looking for one... Like the weeks ago now

Three

Weeks

I reallybhave cleaned professionally before. For homes and for a cruise line and restaurants and hotels

Although honestly I would not subject you to that... Or house that is

It's a great porn setup though

I would milk that for all it's worth

"I'll just be showing the maid where we keep all the poles"

Lol

And weird places the bed is lumpy so she can fix that

"how would I know she's not wearing panties?"

"She sure LOOKS like a traditional maid... feather duster and white gloves and heels..."

The bed does have a lot of lumps and bulges

Weird

Lol

So this weekend

Bum bum bum

Yes indeed

Looking to get out?

Your thoughts at this moment if you could do almost anything?

I would rob somebody's RV, pick you up, go someplace quiet, and fuck your brains out

Why an RV?

It has a bed!

Mmhmm mmhmm

And what if i had an open house to myself?

I could maybe avoid Grand theft auto indictment

That'd be nice

Yeah, I agree. Never been to prison. Not a good look. Don't want to start

Maybe I'll tell you all about my brother going to jail and me finding out and why no one in my family talks to me

Unless you already found that out on the google

I did not. Your family is so dysfunctional

So your house...

Without a spouse

I dont even think that describes my family

Yes

Yes

As of now

Do we need a new word for your family?

Yes we do

So I wonder what I could say that will get me out of a house

I dont know what's possible for you, so thought maybe a few days notice might help

Maybe I need something at the Despot

Of Homes

Restoration efforts migjt be unpredictable

Or Chez Merdard

Indeed

Maybe you need to check all those stores

And lowes

Something just popped up oh dear

Where ever shall I go?

All the way out to Mt dew pleasant I tell ya

I'm going to leave that typo l I'll l

Then they might tell you to check howell. Who knows!?

Right?!

Crazy

And you might feel weird so decide to stop and eat and take a minute

Ofc

I don't know why there's whipped cream in my ear actually

Are you thinking Saturday?

Unsure as of yet

Not entirely my decision, yknow?

Right sure

Np really. I got nothing but more cleaning and organizing to do

For sure

I'll make sure the couch is cleaned off but boy do i have some stairs ideas

And this silly old bed

I would like to try under the sheets if that's a possibility

null

All the ways!

Lookit all the babies!

I'm very popular lol

null

Whatcha got there?

Egg noodles, cream of mushroom soup, peas, faux chicken strips, white and green onions, topped with tomato halves and crispy onions for FunZies.

Sounds yum!

I dont think i would have added the chx but not sure if i would replace it with anything

It would surely work without as well!

I would add cheese lol. And maybe something cruciferoua

Oh sure! That would be good. I thought about cheese and decided against it this time. We had an obscenely cheesy casserole a few weeks ago

Fondue? Raclette? Lol

Uhhhh Krogé Sharpe Cheddar

What are you having?

Unknown

Had spaghetti squash and gummy uniocrns when i got home

You must have been starving after the lunch disaster

Kinda. I had my own stuff like i always do but when i get strong emotions i get really unhungry. As in, actually feel like I've eaten way too much

Oh I am familiar with that phenomenon

No better way to lose your appetite

Yep. Basically any lunch they have catered is something i cant eat most of. It doesnt matter to anyone so i just have to let it go. Same with required in office time when im only supposed to be physically at afhq one day a week

Does anyone really check that though? You've got Kirby in your court to some extent right?

It's only been since this systemic fiasco

And yes. Assholes check.

Kirby was the one who made it happen originally but if it's a directive from his SCVP then it's not possible

Kendell is someone we can usually get on board

Sigh. Control freaks

It's literally one person. To whom i do not report but who will report me to whomever he wants

Who is that?

The one and only Travis Miller, employee of the . Who i trained. And who takes 49476478 smoke breaks a day. And thinks he's the ultimate gift to af and mankind

JFC did he pass 3rd grade?

Nothing except factory floor labor after high school, i think he passed that though.

Nbd. He's a supervisor in the hybrid service center - finance hybrid team now. Not that that should require higher ed or managerial experience or a minimum time in insurance or minimum of an associate degree

Hey wait a sec....

Lol but not really

Hmm. Sure would be a shame if someone smelled weed when he was out there

Oh that's okay, i think his mom keeps air freshener with her. Or maybe all his manager pals. couldnt tell a difference anyway since theyre all attached at the hip

Oh FML who is his mom

Pam Miller

Claims

Noooooooo

No wonder

Why do you say that?

She didn't believe it when they told her that her face would get stuck like that

Hahahahahahahahahaha

Literally my firat thougjt about her

I know her vicariously through a former employee

Miserable woman

Spreading the disease

For sure

Travis has a tattoo of his initials written in old english style script and "est (his birthday)" on the inside of his arm. Kind of giant

Only ever wears pink polos, or generic tshirts, and tight joggers

I need a shower so I'll be afk for a while. Feel free to leave me lust and loves

When you get back, I will be in bed thinking about you

Are you all pretty now? Nice & clean?

I wish I could kiss your neck rn. And lay you back on your bed and squeeze your pretty boobies

And I'll slide down so I can take your nipple in my mouth

Teasing you with my tongue

And gently biting you while I palm your chubby mound, squeezing and rubbing you

Until I feel your slit getting wet

So I soak my finger in your juices, lightly rubbing your clit, until I slide my finger inside you

First just a little bit

And then slowly I slide all the way in as your hips rise to meet my hand

I can put more or less pressure on your mound as I finger you. How do you prefer it?

I also love to suck your nipples at the same time

Can you come this way?

Or would you want more of me inside you?

Or would you rather break off so you can suck me now?

I'm already hard and dripping precum

And now I'm fading out thinking of you

I hope you liked this little fantasy

Love you babe!

Fuckkk

I've never thought of most of that

We should make it reality

I love you too

Have you pressed against someone's mound before?

I wonder what it's like for you and for me. It seems a little amazing

You are fantastic and i cant wait for more of you

I have never in my life craved crying and lovemaking with someone as much and hard as i do right now and with you

2024-10-09T04:55:17

I can't wait to satisfy your cravings

2024-10-09T06:25:02

I woke up thinking about lying next to you, wrapped around you. I was so turned on imagining you were there, wanting me.

If you've never fucked on your side, it's a wonderful way to wake up.

Aloha!

That's so hot. And indeed i have not but would love to try this

It's a good "under the sheets" position :)

Please please please show me new and wonderful things

Ofc! All of them!

Hurray!!!

Sweet baby:)

Sweet daddy :)

😘

You getting ready for work?

Indeed

Puffy eyes and all but I'm very clean and soft!

Aww so yummy. Why are your eyes puffy?

Just because it's early?

Usually it means a cat slept on/near my face or i slept really well

I think today is both

Ok lol I hope so

Big plans for you today?

I am having lunch with an old work chum. He used to sit across the way from your office

Ooh who!

Patrick. He was a director. Had the office on the right side by the corridor

What did he do? Where's lunch?

Well he got fired lol for lipping off in front of his idiot of a boss. We're going to Jerusalem Bakery

All sounds good :)

Jerusalem has the best falafel in town. I will die on that hill.

It's a wife/husband team. They're from Haifa.

How do you eat your falafel?

Any way I can lol. Usually a sandwich. They fry them to order--this is one reason they are superior. They also bake pita

Sauce.

??

=tahini

Or just hummus

Could have been something different!

Whatchoo talking about?

The sauce! Maybe you like garlic aioli or mustard or midwest bloodlife, idk

Where might i find two, 3 or 4 tiered wood/mdf shelving things for not very much cost? Bezosathon is looking ok but local would be preferred but i want them really soon. Thinking maybe April's but what do i know

The girl wants sauce lol

Matching, but color doesnt matter

I want to be overfilled and dripping with sauce for dayssssss

 ​❤️​ to “ I want to be overfilled and dripping with sauce for dayssssss ” 

I knew it lol

Well duh ive told you

Bottomless sauce refills guaranteed for life. How does that sound?

Literally thrilling in all the hidden places

That makes two of us

Just another couple of days

Right!!!

So your shelves

Idk but between April's and D&D I would think you could score something

Thanks, my thoughts too

Call it a work trip and go after Jerusalem?? Lol. I AM a work acquaintance....

I'm craving so much home organization and furniture project stuff

They're rescues! Lol

Guessssss who has all of Thanksgiving week off!?!

No excitement?!? Triste

Sorry meetings @@@###$$$

That's awesome you have that week off!

What do you usually do for TG?

For me, my step kids usually come over and destroy my kitchen

Same as always - i clean, cook, and shop

They are good cooks though

This year i hope to craft and read

And maybe fuck a Sagittarius

🤔

I approve

Lol you better

How are the ideas for tjis weekend coming along? Know what you'll be doing yet?

I'm thinking about going to the Despot of Homie, which might turn into unexpected visits to a variety of destinations

Not really what i was asking, young sir

All of which is to say I'm going to get literally one thing somewhere and fuck a Gemini

But howwwwwwww

I hear geminis like play and mindfuckery and details and imagination and whatnot

Queue last night's soliloquy

Or maybe

More, always more

I bring my nice rope over and strap you to the bed

Or maybe

I pick up some whipped cream

Hmm that sounds good rn

Or maybe

I ask you to put on the sluttiest thing you own and then sit on my lap

Or maybe

I just take you in your closet

What on earth am i supposed to do with wet panties in my office now?!?

Take me on tha damn floor

Try not to make a mess dear

Oh no, i want mess

Surely you have a spare pair

This sideways thing.... i have lots of ideas now

Oh good!

All of them involve you topping out

One thing that's fun about it is I can just massage your pussy with my dick ... Up and down your slit

From behind

Oh my godddddd

Until you can't stand it

I cant stand it now!

Or I explode on you

Which may well happen

Nope. In me first

Yummmmm

You can judge the yum factor if you want

In you will be so amazing

null

I think you'll like how my body reacts

I can't wait to find out

I'm still begging you to make me cry

From sex?

Yes

We've had this conversation

Yep just checking

If I'm behind you laying down, you can't escape. I will grab your tits and pull you into me, and I will pound you as you squirm

Fuckkkk yes please

Have all of your ways with me

It hurts how badly i want you right now

Lol yeah my jeans are feeling really tight rn

Please do everything. All of it. And yes, i want more and more still. Plenty of things i havent even told you

There will be much fucking bi can see no end to it

Lolol bi

Bi="I"

Now make sense of that lol

Hahaha

Do you need a router? I have a nice one that I outgrew

Here's something you can help me with... A more appropriate way to keep hair thingies

null

I dont think i need a router but thanks!

I got you!

What kind of ideas did you want? Wall, drawer bin, countertop...?

I'm thinking drawer bin

I have several!

I'm heading to lunch, so afk for a bit

Ps check Teams

You're welcome

Scrunchies also work on a paper towel holder or between 2 hard surfaces with a tension rod and hanging shower hooks. Not explaining well

For clips and barrettes you can also hang them off ribbons, small fabric swathes, etc affixed to the wall and hanging vertically

Thanks!

Quite the song!

What did you find me at the bakery?

How do you feel about quick "activities"?

Choose some songs for when you and i get epically romantic in bed together? I'm basically asking to set a mood

Remind me later to tell you what i want to but am bashful about

C as in Christ
M as in Mary
S as in Savior....

Cms electric billing call i took

2024-10-09T14:48:44

Thanks! I might record the song and leave it on an anonymous USB stick on his desk

I got some honey for ya hiney baby... Will you bee mine?

Sure I can work on a playlist!

You, bashful? I'm sorry is the right number?

Did you robo called by CMS?

Actual person called!

I am already yours, silly boy

And i can be bashful! You have no idea thus far what i might ask or state. Could be completely depravedier than what I've already said

Ah, the superlative of depravity -- that's my girl!

"So is it an endorsement or a change or is it additional premium?"

Twenty six minutes on that abysmal call

I feel like getting wrecked but also like hyperfocusing on cleaning

Anyway, no guesses?

I have no clue lol

Do you think anything would surprise you?

At this point, probably not! Unless you tell me you have a sex swing and only use it via the piercings in your ears

Hmmmmm

Well i obv want more than anyone youve ever met lol

I really don't think it's normal for me to feel apprehensive at this point yet here we are

You're aware you can say no to me, right?

Are you apprehensive? Why?

Because i feel like it's not a normal or maybe acceptable thing to ask and this would be my first time saying it

Girl you can ask me anything

You've already told me things, well I've already said that bit.

I don't have any expectations that I've heard the wildest

And neither one of us has experience in it, I'm pretty sure. But i still know things lol

You are like a box of chocolates, only the kind you like , I suppose. And I ain't done eating you

How's that lol

Mmmm

I could go for that, lol

So, then, i will make a small proposal here

That at some point and some time, i think it would be fun to add my ass into some fun. Yours if you want - I'm offering mine and excited for some possibilities

But you can ALWAYS say no

Ok! You tell me what and when if I don't ask first. Sounds good?

I did kinda want to play with your plug.. on you

I have to take my car to the tire shop so I'll be afk for a few

I want all the (nice, gentle at first at least) ass play you'll give me

You have consent to start what you want there

I think maybe you could slip a finger or a toy or something up while you're already in the front door knocking away ;)

Thank you ❤️

Ok I'm back. Had to walk home. I've a screw in me tyre!

Thank you for the guidance there. I am willing to play this way but will confirm and consent in the moment. Deal?

Yes

You always lead

Yay!
We will have fun!

Question on that

But first

null

Ooooooo

Hello

Anyway, you said "willing" to play. Dors that mean you dont actually want to?

No, it means I have no idea how I will feel on the moment, but I'm not going to show up with a preconceived opinion

I love your tits

You can have them

So fucking cute

I want them

null

Oh sweet baby

So delicious

Cant wait til i close the door once you're here

Oh yeah
We don't want to waste any time

Door has to be closed. Thats the rule

All good

And you may lock it if you wish

Without telling me

But either way

So what are you up to?

Just got home

Making dinner and cleaning while someone doesnt feel well

And you?

Cleaning!

Yay!

I have no real idea how to show you your options

Which day(s) are possible for you?

Saturday or Sunday

Yeah somebody better remember he had somewhere to be this weekend lol

Hahaha yes

That's a definite no for friday then?

Maybe possible? My story won't work well though

So let me think on that

No prob. Just helps me to know

But planning on a no for Friday might work well

Okay

I might be able to actually clean!

I might leave myself covered in fur though

Eek!

See if you were telling the truth there

Fur baby!

Yes. Very hairy. Basically saskwatchian

null

So cute though!

The N95 really makes a statement, doesn't it!

It turns out Patrick and I legit have a lot to catch up about. I might "spend all day Saturday" there

Or Sunday

Maybe you talk and decide you should continue into sunday

Lol that is a possibility, but I need to test this water a little

I have stayed the night there after a long drinking sesh

But idk if he still does that

At any rate, it should clear a huge chunk of time for me

Amazing!

If you know what an earliest time might be, that's great. If i can get high, even better, if neither.... i still want you to fuck the life out of me

Probably like noon or one-ish

I will confirm later

I am absolutely not trying to stress you

No stress here babe

Happy and looking forward to this

Me too :) Very much

:)

You decide what i wear to start if you'd like, or i can

You pick this time,then let's take a trip to your closet again so I can pick the next one

Kinda hoping i wont be able to regain strength in my wobbly shaky legs lol

Heheheh

Logistical question: is it ok to park in your driveway?

Yes

If you're more comfortable parking elsewhere, let me know

It's fine with me. Just wanted to be sure it's ok in case of nosy neighbors

It's fine thanks

null

null

Bahahahah!

2024-10-09T19:39:53

How's the cleaning?

Really good. I am pooped now, getting some pita, hummus, and falafel sandwich:)

How are ya?

I am... murr. Not great but idk what to do to improve at this moment

Tired?

Not really. I feel stomach sick and have tons to clean but cant figure out how to beat tackle it. Obv alone in doing it all too

Oh poo, I'm sorry you feel icky. Did you eat?

I did at lunch and havent felt great since. I dont think i ate after that? Cant remember

You're not nerved it are you?

Nervous?

Yeah that's what I was trying to ask

I dont think so. Stressed is a better word for it

Dang I wish I could de stress you right now.

Lol. I agree. By any means necessary

This work situation got worse today and i am just over it. Again.

Argh. That sucks

Yeah. Got more tasks thrown at me without anything taken away. And yelled at by someone really dumb on the phone. And mandatory ot this week and next for jobs that aren't even my department but whatever. If everything worked like we need it to it would be easy but it's just so disjointed and incapable of being efficient or effective

Ah yes the "af" in AF af

It's insane

Do you at least get to wfh

The rest of this week yes, then back to normal next week, but that doesnt help as much when it's phones + do loss reports + bcr4 billing inquiries + run bcr1 loss sensitive losses from june - now, which won't be possible to bill how we wabt because they set up the billing and collateral system for those accounts a really stupid fucking way, plus make new specialized reports for those, plus draft new communications to those policyholders plus enter 30 new policies, plus make an excel and formulate it, do all this without the system that houses rhe information (you have that saved somewhere, right rebecca? Like when we forgot we would need everyone's email addresses for these loss sensitive notifications but oops we figured you'd save our asses again?) Plus jump through a hoop of fire and try and survive at home and sorry we pick food you cant eat and... and... and...

Love. It.

You need a break :)

Like you wouldn't believe

I think tonight may be a no sleep night

No, why?

That's not good for you

It will make me feel like I'm productive and getting ahead of things, like i have a few seconds where it's me not walking on eggshells, and it kind of makes me feel normal-er

I feel very much unlike myself lately

You're right though, so I'll committ to at least a few hours

I just don't want you to make yourself ill. Piling no sleep, no food on top of stress is just stress x 3. :( I worry about you

I know you do. It's never my intention. I dont know what to make of it that you're the only one who does

I slept last night into this morning, and slept i think every night since that one weekend. And I'm really unhungry

Are you familiar with gastroparesis?

No I'm not

https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/gastroparesis/symptoms-causes/syc-20355787

Shouldn't be a surprise that I've had it for a very long time. Used to land me in the hospital about once every 2 to 6 weeks, no joke

And adds to panic attacks

I got you
We need to un-stress you big time

Yes please

How can we do it

Realistically? A few ways

Your ideas?

I asked you first ;)

What kind of ideas do you want?

Lol you are too crafty

Can I tell you how much I want you?

I would really like that

And honestly, i still feel like i should be perfect

You are perfect

Very much not

I've been unable to think of much else besides pinning you to the bed since you sent me the pics earlier

Very much yes

I cannot tell you how much i need to be wanted by someone i want. And with consent.

That's all you

I want all of you in my hands and in my mouth

And feel your heat and your heart

And taste your sweet skin

And make you melt

I want to do and be all of that. And not think for a while. Only feel.

Yes I want to feel you too, outside and inside, and I want to feel you feeling me too

To feel, and to feeeeelllllllllll

I am so hard for you right now

I wish I could fuck you right now

I wish so too. So badly

We have much to look forward to

How is the stress?

About the same, possibly a bit less

I know what would help but i dont know how to make it work

What is it?

I need to be okay not being as perfect as i want to be and like i think you deserve to fuck

The only thing I'd ask you to change is stop being so hard on yourself

You are beautiful

You are sexy

You are desirable

You are worthy

And you are deserving

And I am overjoyed that you chose me

Thank you

Ofc

I am overjoyed that you're willing

And I'm happy to share with you

I don't expect you to be anything but yourself

I realize this is not really what you're used to

Who i am and who i have been and who i wish i was are all very dofferent

That's fine

But don't trash talk who you are, because I like her a lot

You ok?

Well i hear she's pretty seriously damaged and having life crises, and literally all she sees are traumas and responses to those that built and keep building.

Sorry about that. Was midtext and my phone decided to stop. And ao did lots of things because - hey - of course i can be the IT person here since i do everything else

Are you ok?

2024-10-09T23:31:47

I'm ok

I feel asleep.

I see where you're going above. Did it feel good to let that out? I sincerely hope so.

In spite of everything you've said, I'm still here.

2024-10-10T04:48:41

Good morning babe!

Did you sleep? How are you feeling?

2024-10-10T05:51:43

I want you to know something

My goal is to make you ecstatic. I will try as hard as I can to do it. I hope we have fun along the way, but I know sometimes even on the funnest journey there can be pitfalls, and I'm ok with that.

I want to make that journey with you, and all I ask is that you be yourself, nothing more and nothing less.

Will you accept my offer?

And in case this is any worry, you can change your mind at any time.

There are no conditions, no strings attached. No money down. No credit check.

Your will is yours. Always.

Good morning, best thing ever!

I did sleep. Just woke up

I accept your offer under at least one condition - please let me try to do the same for you

How was your night?

Yay! I had a decent sleep, 7/10 I'd say. That's good enough! Feeling good this morning

I accept your counteroffer:)

Thanks!

You're the best 😊

We can both be each other's best then

That is perfect!

Ugh. I need my head and face and whole damn body rubbed down. Hard.

Do you have a favorite oil? Or I can bring some. Did you like the nag champa?

You dont need to do that but thank you!

No favorite oil. Nit experienced in them. I dislike lavender and haaaaaaaate patchouli

I did like the last one

Twins!

For real?

Not even joking

Especially the lavender and patchouli

I thought you'd like patchouli

Blecch

Nope

Overrated

I will react very very very poorly if even the idea of a whiff crosses my nose

Lol you won't find any in my possession

Oh thank gods

Any reason you hate it?

Cliche, overrated

I am also somewhat averse to scents in general. Some are fine in moderation. Today's scent -crazed bozos are brain dead

They literally trigger my allergies sometimes. Esp breathing, and make my eyes water

The light scent you wore was delightful

So don't worry

I like wearing fragrance. If i ever have too much, please let me know

Okay

Is there one you like that i can wear? I dont remember what i had on before. I change them up

I wouldn't know the names. It's ok

A decent rule for me is if I can smell it across the room, it's wrong.

If I discover it in your personal space, it might be ok

Unless it's lavender or patchouli lol

Never!

And that's a good rule

My general guidance is that the most it should linger is if the next person in an elevator pleasantly wonders why they're now a bit happier - there's just a hint of scent left as i walk away but not identifiable

Nailed it

And if I get in the elevator and can't breathe, you should be ejected from the building. There are a few in the service center, I might add, that are in this category. I'm sure there are others too

Yesssssss

We get service center emails from Amy as "friendly reminders" about scents every dew months

What does RLH do? (Intentionally left open ended)

Literally or vocationally

Oh, you did say open-ended. She's permanently disabled and gets SSDI. not much though

So then what does she do?

I'll tell you in a few -- gotta go get my car

Bundle up!

Lol I grabbed a Lime scooter. Wiped out on my first turn. I'm ok-a little scrape, but mostly hurt pride because I did it in front of people 😂

Glad I wore my Carhartt hoodie!

So anyway, she sits on the back porch, which is completely isolated from the house but is insulated and heated. And watches streaming stuff and smokes.

And buys things from bald guy zon

And t-emu

Sorry you wiped ouf! Bike flashbacks?

What kinda of stuff?

Lol the wipeout was nowhere near that bad. I mostly hit some part of the scooter on my way down with my shin, so there is a bloody spot on my jeans (I just cleaned up the wound; it fits under a band aid). Tiny road rash on my right palm. Carhartt took a beating but doesn't have a scratch on it!

What kind of stuff does she buy?

Yes

Ohhh shame that CC doesnt want to work rn and i forget how to install updates

Aww :)

Well, we get daily deliveries practically. Not an exaggeration. Sometimes small. Sometimes 2-3 things. I pile up packages in a chair in the living room.

It's pet food for the dog or old lady cat we're watching for the kids; some craft thing or another; clothes; stuff for the kids; this & that I stopped paying attention a long time ago.

My Amazon day is today. Hers is Thursday-wednesday

Interesting

Thanks

I also stopped reminding her that her dreams are contingent on us being able to save money lol

Ain't happening

And this year, I stopped trying as well lol

So 🤷🤷

What are your dreams?

Side note: what are you doing tonight?

She wants a bigger house. Idgaf

I didnt ask about her... .

Oh

Heh

I just want to retire early and be comfortable and secure financially. On track for that ✔️

I'm probably cleaning ,,... Again!

Always a good time! Would you like to go anywhere? No is a fine answer

Hey our boss finally logged in

Lol

Honestly I almost never leave the house after work. It would be kind of hard to find a good excuse.

No problem!

https://www.amazon.com/iJoy-Decorative-Protector-Charging-Extension/dp/B097NJ6K9M?tag=bustle-330535905-20&asc_source=facebook&asc_campaign=fbproaff330535905lpv&asc_refurl=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.bustle.com%2Flife%2Fif-youre-weird-af-youll-love-these-things-under-25-on-amazon%3Futm_medium%3Dpro%26utm_source%3Dfacebook%26utm_campaign%3Dfbproaff330535905lpv%26fbclid%3DIwZXh0bgNhZW0BMAABHfG_RYf2-QUNfxOlg6dINxZUxK2zWeFDTVyOsbbpjjhGma6gVK-DGzvnNQ_aem_GLsKG8iqcTRisChb5FtvEw

That's cool

Lol that's an interesting power strip

Just to clarify something above: mine has been a single-income household for 15 years for all intents and purposes

Or all intensive porpoises if you prefer

I do prefer

So shallot be

Bone apple tea

Shallot bees and bone apple teeth

What a world!

😊

Omg so helpful

null

null

:)

I find it helpful to place a "very important thing" nearby, then convince the cat the decoy is far better than the place she originally chose

Ive also heard that if they lose interest in something that you should move it instead of getting rid of it (cat condo, for example)

Nice idea!

Omg the issues are AF AF at AF today

Wanna see my 2 notification emailwls, each of which i received no less than 6 times?

Lol yes!

Omg

I am never emailing you again

Hahaha

Sorry I'm being a brat. My calendar is getting stuffed up with irritating meetings and I have shit to get done

No prob

I'll leave you alone if that's what you need until you're free

You're good. I'm realizing I need a vacation. The last one I took was right before the network downtime and it was shitty because I was not getting along with my spouse

You used past tense

Can you take one?

I could take a couple days if I wanted to buy there's too much I need to be around for rn

Sorry babe

Aaaargh lol

Ty

Maybe give more thought to next weekend? Or this one lol

Oh I'm thinking about it, yes indeed

Do you have any idea how much PTO I get in a year?

3 weeks?

Seven. Fucking. Weeks.

Seven

Not bragging, but it is so unrealistic. And I cannot do anything with the excess over 80 hours. It just goes away

I'm an American so I can complain about things like that lol

Jesus I need to de-rant a little bit

I absolutely understand that!

And i think europeanly and spent a ton of formative time over there, so a lot of PRO stuff here is like "wtf" to me

Im up for you ranting while fucking if that appeals. Thrust your cares away

Seriously

Lol that is actually the last thing I want to do, and the last thing that will be on my mind.

But thank you

This is more like the printer scene in office space if you get my drift

Lolllllllll

I have an Initech notepad i made

And a Peter Gibbons vinyl Pop at my desk

Obv a red stapler

And plan on making a Jump to Conclusions mat

null

null

Cute!

null

What delicious irony

Literal LOL

Without expectations (ever), may i please have a generic idea of activities you'd prioritize this weekend?

I can give examples if you need

Kiss, lick, suck, touch, feel, rub, and fuck, not necessarily in that order, but pretty close

Always a good time

Anything more specific?

Ie rough, animalistic, romantic, average, adventurous, etc?

Probably romantic to start, crescendoing to vigorous with a healthy allowance for adventurous

I am so fucking hot for you right now

I can't wait!

I'm going into a meeting with video so I will be radio silent for a bit

 ​😢​ to “ I can't wait!

I'm going into a meeting with video so I will be radio silent for a bit ” 

Back! Thank goodness at least for efficient meetings that break early.

Never heard of em

They are a rarity

I may have 2 very tiny project based things for your engineer mind

Oh! I was just looking in the mirror and thought of something you dont know at all yet

Ooh! I like the sound of that!

I've "discovered" many things I haven't been able to find and organized them in my refurbished space

Yay!

Sizes?

Sizes--qué?

I was thinking you unearthed screws and tools and like hairdryer sized tools?

Oh, yes, exactly

In fact a heat gun was one of those objects. Looks just like a hairdryer

Lol i know!

What else?

A soldering iron I forgot I own, a box cutter I didn't know I own, sundry useful materials , abrasives, clamps, marking tools, measuring tools,

Lubricants, plumbing stuff, electrical wiring stuff, multi tester leads, ...

How much of each? I am brimming with ideas for storage!

I can take a fresh picture of my new shelves. That is basically the volume of stuff I just discovered, consolidated, and organized

You will have to tell me more about what you found in the mirror

Nothing new to me, i just realized you didnt know

Ive broken my nose a lottttt of times

It was especially evident this morning

Oh noes!

Oh nose!

Lol

It's really obvious if I'm cold or crying or tired and when my eyes are puffy

Well let's make it a point not to break your nose this weekend.

Solid idea

Are you more inclined for a yes or a no? I am leaving this intentionally vague

That's it? Just a what to you think about __________

Yes or no?

Should i do the thing or not?

You can ask questions

Poison my coworker? Well, actually no, but sometimes...

Psht. I dont even know your coworker. How would i poison them?

Well let's not go down that path, which might be very slippery and full of snakes that bite. We can send someone else

Ok then

So do i go do the thing?

I guess mayyyyyyyyybe i could tell you

Imma say


Yes!

Okay thanks!

Would you like to know something silly?

I'm gonna need a few minutes

Just had a row

Oh no

I'm here if you want to talk it out

For the sweet love of christ baby jesus.

I cant even in this place anymore. Will follow up on that later when i problem solve and calm down.

Thank you

I just got blindsided by an emotional truck

My heads not quite straight yet but I am processing the adrenaline.

I will be more capable of explaining this a little later

Are you sure? Are you okay?

I will be out at mega mall this evening if you want to walk around and talk. Or can go elsewhere too

I will let you know. I should be able to process this off by then , but I'm not sure what I'm going to do about my housemate

Please let me know how to help

If you need to call me you can

Ty I will let you know

I'm worried about you now

It'll pan out. I have been down this road so many times.

But in the past I didn't know what to do so I capitulated.

I know better now. I'm not going to start anything, but I will let her know what I think about her behavior unapologetically

I'm sorry

Can you tell me in literal terms what happened?

Or what emotions you feel?

If you need to be radio quiet for a few hours just let me know

I can tell I'm angry at her for manipulating a simple statement I made (I'm going to hang with Patrick this weekend) into why this is about her and everything bad I've ever done.

Man
Ip
U
Lation

I am so tired of it

And I'm not accepting it and pat pat it's ok.

Not this time

She needs to grow up

I have to duck into a meeting for a while so I might be quiet at this end

Understandable

All of it

Eerily twinning in situations today as well

Yeah, it is peculiar!

I am very upset here

I'll switch to problem solve mode in a bit

For both of us, if you'd like

In the meantime, i love you

Thank you babe I love you too

I just wrote the story in a diary entry. I can share it with you if you want to understand the specifics a little better.

Yes, when you're comfortable i would love to understand more

To add to today's home fiasco, because i am one of like 8 people who can call out from webex, i am lucky enough to be responding to voicemails this afternoon as soon as i hear more

Ai Yi yi

I will send the story to your personal email. Too much for text!

Yes, please do

The corn flake girl

Did you want the news sooner or later?

But later please

A bit :)

Ok I sent you the deets

Okay, thanks

I'm sorry thay transpired

You deserve better, more

And i understand your plight

Thank you

null

How would you like it to be instead?

It's not terrible. I'm sorry I forgot why I was going to send that to you. Little trauma or something.

What do you mean?

I think I was just going to show you the scope of things I was organizing. I honestly forgot why thiugt

Because i was going to help think of how you might want it to look

So then that is my new question to you

Ok will have to think about his later. I'm going to do some mindless activity for a while to help flush this.

Have lego?

Knex?

Sort screws into baggies?

Count fibonaccilly?

Need a music rec?

Lol you'd never believe this but I have a front porch full of delivery boxes that need to be broken down and taken to the recycle bin

It's a good activity for me.

Have fun! New box cutter activity!

Do you know if cap discount would have photo frames or any furniture or weird stuff i might like?

Not so much. They have lots of tools, guns, old stereos, jewelry

Bah

Water break.

Either April's or D&D has a whole basement of furniture. Idk about frames. But you will definitely find furniture on Kzoo St

Yes. That's the plan. MM tonight because i kind of just want to kill time out of this house and situation

I have perhaps a task you could help me with

But how are you doing?

I am good. Just finished cardboard. It was a lot more than I thought. I've basically been working steady since I told you that's what I was going to do

How can I help?

Great job!

Thx

I dont drink water. I probably should. I hate it. Fix plz :)

Lol I've downed 3x 16 oz water in the last two hours

Which is a lot for me

Do you hate it because it's plain or does your water taste bad?

Plain, i think. I dont drink it at all

Not even the renowned 3 am water?

Nope

Like, none none

Huh
It's a wonder you haven't turned into a prune

It's the diet coke

Right electrolytes. Ok

Phenylalanine amiright

Phenylketonurics too

You never gave me a fave animal

I'm sorry I do not remember a lot from before 1300

Or after lol

How much have you had?

This was days or weeks ago lol

Zero

Oh my bad

elephant

Seems fitting, no?

But in all seriousness I do admire elephants more than other animals.

Omggggg

I have a tiny collection of weird elephant stuff

And just put a cute one in my cart lol

Yay!

And how are you now?

Much better. Just had first interaction with RLH and she's acting like nothing happened. I've been occupying my time reconfiguring my work bench. Distraction has been very effective.

TBD though on a resolution. I am not going to let her off the hook.

I'll be here for whatever you need

I'm also crazy, remember, so i xan tell you how your words could come across

I could definitely use that perspective. Ty

2024-10-10T20:13:12

Sooooo

Heyy

I just put my self in bed

I am so tried

Tired

And tried

Lol

How are things for you?

Do you have any feedback regarding my diet entry?

Just got home

Diary?

Yes, that

Been shopping?

Yes

I kinda invited tou

What kind of feedback would be best?

Straight up

I think it's nor as angry as you should be, but i also think she won't understand because there's not much she actually realizes she's not doing well with

I think it's too nice, kind of. Like you're holding back

Interesting. Anything else?

Maybe. Let me reread

And please keep in mind i have no real background for detailed dynamicals, just what youve told me in vague swatches

Sure, of course

I dont know how to respond best. What was her shitty behavior? I dont know what actually happened

We can table this for another time, obv

All good. You are correct I was holding back. She would not have heard anything I said correctly at that point

I can summarize:

First, she disapproved of me hanging with Patrick this weekend because of a distorted memory she has of him being a drunk. There is a kennel of truth there, but she was also clearly conflating him with someone else from work. And he did use to get drink with Toni 's husband Brad, who became abusive (Patrick was not though, and ended his relationship with Brad at that time)

Second, after I got that clarified, then she changed her argument to Patrick was always bad-mouthing AF, and that rubbed off on me. Which is basically true, but this was my first time hearing it. I've been friends with Patrick for like 8 years or more.

She stomps off. I go back to work. Then she comes back to apologize. I ask her if she remembers me saying I can't have simple adult conversations with her?

So third, now her problem is I am mad. I did get worked up and tried to draw an analogy for her: how about I say nope! I disapprove you hanging with Toni! Of course it's absurd, but now she has completely flipped the script: she can't say anything to me because I get mad.

I point out I was only dating I wanted to hang out with a friend this weekend--a very normal things to do, and I had no idea she was harboring this ill opinion of Patrick (which has already morphed , as you'll have noticed) but she decided to spring that on me today

Finally, I never spend time with her. I never ask her on a date. I never ask her if she wants to get dinner. And she can't say anything to me because I get mad.

So, thoughts?

Oh, and she didn't say anything to me about going to lunch. I think I was supposed to interpret that as grace.

I held back because there is no listening. She cannot, it will not hear me

So it's pointless unless she is actually paying attention

Lol I said summarize. I guess retell would have been a better word. Sorry

I'm really sorry you've had to deal with all of that

Please do not be sorry

I'm unsure what to think other than i commiserate and wish i could rescue you from this

Thank you

I appreciate it.

What else would you like to say?

I will find the right opportunity to try to explain that I don't feel like we're friends anymore because she acts this way. And maybe that's why I don't want to hang out

I don't know when that will be

She is painting this as "we both did this". I will correct her on that as well. She did this, not me

I understand

She can deal with that however she wants

Have you thought of any negative outcome that could befall you?

There won't be. Just her being a banshee

What did you hope and expect my feedback and reaction to be? They can be 2 different things too

I genuinely wanted to know if I am missing something. I still do. I understand this is one side of a story, and there was a lot of who heard/who said. In the past, I usually would find enough wrongdoing of my own to apologize. I feel none of that this time. I have never been this clear about what is going on.

I think you're right. I also think she might think you're blindsiding her because you usually say nothing

I can see that. She interprets push-back as anger.

From me anyway

Do you outright say (in a calm voice) " I'm not angey, i want you to know that first... i feel _______ because ________"

Btw, i know these phrases from decades of therapy and am not trying to be critical of you - i know how I've been spoken to and what's effective and blahblahblah

And it can't be "im not angry BUT" because that negates it

And you cant actually be angry

If you are, then say that but back it up with specifics (not "always" or absolute language like that)

Dont throw sensitive topics and past behavior at her if it isn't relevant

That is all extremely helpful!

I know these things, but they are not always the first things I think of, and certainly those were not words I used today

It takes actual, literal practice

Say it out loud

As much as I've said I've gotten good at sensing an argument, I blew right through the cues today

And breathe in 3 to 4 counts then out the same before you say anything at all. Look away, close your eyes if you need to

I'm with you 100% on all this

The reminder is golden

You are such a gem

You can actively say that you do not have the capacity to engage in a productive discussion at that moment but you realize that there's a valuable exchange that needs to take place and you want to dedicate the time it deserves later when you have that

Say it calmly, like you're reading aloud to a classroom

I appreciate that, thank you

Thank you so much

I thought I was going to have to use that last one today.

But she waited 6 hours and I was plenty defused by then

You do not have to qualify which type kf capacity either (emotional, temporal, logical, etc). Capacity is enough.

If she balks at that, repeat what you already said. Same tone. Same cadence. Same words.

Yes

Agree

Dont antagonize with repetition though. If you have to, resort to real reasons why. People are counting on you to do your job. You don't want heated emotions to hurt either of you. You know it isnt healthy to get worked up. You're hungry. It isn't a one off thing.

This is *very* helpful

I can't thank you enough

Hey babe I am fading fast

Thanks again for the wisdoms! And helping me in my time of need. You are awesome and I love you ❤️

2024-10-11T04:57:14

Good morning sugar lumps!

2024-10-11T06:01:14

Good morning baby

Ok slept in haha!

Oh did you?

At least an hour lol

That's good!

Right?

I guess :) my dream soundtrack is still playing in my head. It sounds like 6 radio stations playing at the same time. Very confusing.

How are you? Aside from habing cacaphonous misophonia

Love that :)

A little creaky but otherwise ok


How are you baby?

Lol. I do okay with words.

Not great but I'll live

Did you sleep? Still feeling icky?

I think so? I at least tried hard to sleep. Icky, yes. And not a good day yesterday

Yeah


I just spent 6 minutes with hot water in my coffee pot... And forgot to put the coffee in it lol

Let's make today a better day

We can try

Let me know when you make successful hot water salad :)


Boiling new water now


So what have you been up to for the last hour?

Ive been up for about 2, 2.5 actually. Cleaning. Thinking. Book mindfulness

Any resounding thoughts or findings?

Yeah

I dont want to say them but i also know i have to

I'm probably blowing it way up but i dont know

Hey, did you know ive had an upper GI bleed from ulcers before?

That is awful! Can't say I'm shocked though. Are you having symptoms?

My stomach hurts but that's not too abnormal

I anticipated you asking when

And i would have responded "about 3 weeks before i got married" and then you'd maybe understand a little more

I was in so much pain and heaving that they had to put me under general to give me an endoscopy. I was at work that day until i wasnt super functional anymore. Went there, home to put a heating pad on thinking it would help, then to the ER at U of M because i was down pretty bad

Poor baby!

What brought up this memory?

Aside from my stomach being in pain, the stresses I'm having. And i just like sharing things with you

Ok I'm glad you told me. Do I remember correctly that capsaicin is paradoxically a treat to mention for ulcers? Or is that a perverse memory?

I'm not trying to be funny

When I worked in micro, new research was coming out about Helicobacter pylori as a factor in ulcers

But I guess it would not be so great for you for other reasons

How about chamomile, or peppermint tea? Do you like either of those (or the blend!)?

Peppermint tea and the finest phenergan for breakfast lol

Maybe some compozine

Well la ti da!

You working today?

Yep

I've got profit sharing stuff to do

Oh wr have profit? Ha

Right? It really is corny how much effort we put into giving money to agents

"partners"

Not my type of partner

Nice

Ill probably be afk until 0800 or so, but you're welcome to say whatever and I'll respond in a bit

Not sure if you remember from yesterday or not, but i still have news

Ok I did not remember that. I would like to hear your news when you are able

I came back

Me too lol

Here we are again

Where did you go off to?

The shower :)

Oh very nice

What day is hair day for you?

How often do you shave your face?

Where do you take care of special thoughts i may or may not pop up in? Lol

Great questions lol

Hair day kinda Mondays, but if I've been getting grubby, as I have this week, as soon as I feel like dealing with it. Which will be tomorrow because it's gross rn

I don't shave much any more, just use bare trimmers. I could shave though -- it would be *very* smooth if I did. Once a week is the norm for me.

I'd say 75% in bed and 25% in my office. You just never know when the mood's going to strike lol

Oh interesting! Really? Office? I kinda like that

So where does it all go? Are your sheets basically cardboard-feeling at this point? Has the mood struck any more recently? I feel like shower was going to be the answer

I can't in the shower actually. I get completely shut down. Believe me I've tried (by myself only)

It goes all over me--specifically my belly and chest

And yes, last night as a matter of fact

That's so fucking hot

Here i thought you were crying yourself to sleep or whatever

No, I literally wore myself down working so much after work. And I'm past the crying anyway. I just need to move past the indignance, and on into confident knowing.

Good for you!

About that news of mine though.....

Yes what is it?

I was (verrrry unpleasantly) surpised with a SIL and spouse here chez moi for the weekend (starting yesterday). So that's a no for here this weekend and i am infinitely sorry

I have already developed alternative options

What are your thoughts, besides obvious disappointment?

Oh, sigh...

Well, it does give me a very good way to defuse the situation here. Which will , I think, increase the credibility of my alibi at a later time.

Devious, yes, but beneficial in the end

Possibly

Alsp, i am so so sorry! I had no idea this would happen. Literally said he was leaving to retrieve her as he went out the door

On the plus side, he gave me extra cash and stipulationless shopping trips this weekend so i guess there's that

I should have all of next weekend alone here or I'll peace out to a different town, depends what you want

Or i can meet you at a local lodging establishment sunday afternoon, obv me covering this time

Or we could just legit have coffee and buy Legos and small elephant figures and whatever

Cool, cool. Let me mull this over

For sure

Do you like any kind of visual art at all?

Wall stuff

Yes, but

Ish

I have no wall space for it

Omg be more impossible lol

There is always more space

I just have something cool. Thought perhaps you'd like it, mais non

*somethingsssss

I really struggle with space in my office, which would be the best opportunity, really the only opportunity

How big is the thing?

Command strips

There's more than one. Let me check the one nearest me

Do you want to see it? I dont even know if it's halfway close to your style

Sure!

It's pieces, kind of

Laptop for scale

null

null

Pieces, see?

Interesting! Are those little pieces of stained wood?

I think so? I also have this one

null

null

null

Little pieces of "parkay" is what i think of

Well! Myrtle must have been a special gal lol

Those are both intriguing but I have to say they're not my style

I didnt really get that vibe from you, so thanks!

They need a good home is all :)

I feel like you'd be more kf a Keith Haring fan

Or band/concert posters lol

Not really either one

Celtic designs and landscapes?

Hold on- this is one wall. All my own photos:

null

I love it!

I choose a photo from the same month in a previous year for each calendar

I do like landscapes but , and I don't know how to articulate this, they need to be right, not boring. I don't know how to define this

I think i get that

Ungeneric

I am getting more into photography. Doesn't have to be nature scenes, but that is where I've done most of my shots that aren't cats lol

I told you I'm photographically available ;)

That is a really intriguing idea there.

I do want to learn how to take portraits, and boudoir shots would be hot af

I want those types of photo. Any kind you want of me, you should take. Any.

Ok we'll do it! I will need to go shopping lol

For lighting

Or not

I should learn with what I have

Baby oil lol

Ohhhh yes

And I will give you this promise because this is how I am

You will retain full rights to the use of the photos, except that I will keep the originals for personal use, strictly not for distribution without your .consent

And if you want I can shoot us fucking too

Time lapse is awesome

Ohhhh yes. I want that. Ane maybe we get some close up stills of you in me upon entry. maybe some drips in the aftermath.

As long as you ask me first, you xan probably share some.

I heard of an interesting "couples" idea. An intimate one

Ohh! This is all sounding very fun indeed

It is!

Did you have any guesses for what you said yes to me doing when i asked yesterday?

"should I adopt this baby rhinoceros?"

He's really cute!

"does this mini make my butt look fat?"

Rinocerante piceno

But sadly no

gigante picante!

No mas!

"would you fuck me, in a boat"

I would fuck you anywhere

You are the GOAT

😆

would you fuck me, in a tree?

I would fuck you anywhere, anytime, for freeeeee

Will you fuck me, in the morn?
Will you fuck me, watching porn?

I will fuck you all day long

Id like you to fuck me to a song

null

Bahahahah!

Did I ask you if you know Eddie Izzard?

If not, do yourself a favor and look up his name on YT with "control p print"

I do know him

Of him

null

Truth

null

Oh cool!

null

Sneky sneeeeeeeehhhhhk

Why. Is. He. Still. Sleeping!?

Sleepy snek?

Nope

Plz do not step on snek

Will not

Snek is friend

Snek play at your house someday

Explore, yes

null

And by rough pass I mean putting them on the same shelf haphazardly

Great job!

Must've been a wicked cool person with PhanTol

Wanna know my immediate impression?

Sure 🙂

I usually get more booka than that shelf in one trip, lol

Lolol

I know it. I just don't book much

I like them. Still havent read in a very very very long time but I'm hopefulish now

How is the day?

The day is not quite what I needed it to be, but it's fine, I will let it happen, and I will push off for Monday that which I have been unable to accomplish this week without a giving a damn.

Plus the Work day approaches it's end, so I am pleased.

Would you like to say more?

Well sure, any di-erection you would like me to grab?

I dont even know where to start

Let's start with a simple question

Left
Right
Or yes
?

Always

Hmm

I prefer right, but that's not a hard rule

Do you really prefer one over the other?

This is purely a self-care preference.

For you the answer is yes, always, and abundantly

Because you are right hand dominantM

?

Do you have an opinion of me using my hands in such a manner with you?

2024-10-11T15:57:43

Sorry I just got off

A long phone call

My opinion is that would be extremely hot. Just be aware I will probably give guidance; I've been made pretty sore before

But don't let that worry you!

Phone call with? About?

Sore.... how? Friction?

Friction is definitely one issue. Too much pressure is another. And speed is a third. There is a sweet spot!

Actually Patrick called me. He wanted to ask about something we talked about the other day and it turned into a gab session lol

Lol

Silly Patrick

I WANT guidance

Some guys hate hands

I think you're a nice person who will be nice to me and my things, so you can play if you want to!

Oh yes please!

Why do you think they hate them? (I already know)

I feel like I should know but it isn't coming to me

Because if they wanted a hand to take care of them they could do it better and faster themselves

Literally every guy has said that in one capacity or another

Theyve know the sweet spots since they were like 12

What bozos

How hot would it be to teach your girl to do it perfectly?

I kind of think the same! And you dont know what I'll do next

Exactly!

Guys are so weird I swear

What an embarrassment

Yeah

Well I'm off to Krogé

This should be a pretty short trip

Have fun!

Im off to April's

Cool! I want to hear about it when you get back!

Okay!

2024-10-11T18:04:53

Ca va?

Si ca va

Ca va bien. Et tu?

Pas mal, merci

Comment etait le supermarche? Vous avez acheter quoi?

I sure wish I spoke French as pretty as you do ❤️

Sorry adverb!

C'est facile!

What did you get at Kroger?

Whipped cream and caramel????

I so wish!
You will still be scrumptious with a cucumber. Mmmmm

That could mean a lot of things!

Oh how delicious!

Are you going to leave me dangling?

Maybe

So back to kroger

Yes yes

And I also got squashes and mushrooms and cereal and

Yes?

You were telling me things, i believe

Was it quail eggs poached and served in half avocado, maple syrup drizzle, cilantro garnish, Sriracha optional

90

BOGO this weekend only act now

Someday I should like to see you in pigtails

You know what else I like? I just remembered some things today

Gingham jumpers

So.fucking.wholesome

How was your do?

2024-10-11T22:25:28

null

que-ce qui se passe

2024-10-12T00:34:13

Bonjour!

Desole - je me prendre un petot dors

O hai!!!!

2024-10-12T08:22:48

Haiii babe

2024-10-12T09:28:40

Hi How was your night?

It was alright. A little restless.

Yours? How are you?

I'm ok, a little groggy yet. Making coffee

I missed you

I missed you, too

I feel eucghh and you would have made it so much better

What are your plans today, tonight, and tomorrow?

Cleaning... Need to make space for plants that are outside to come inside

Don't know about tomorrow

Would it be easier to call off any plans for tomorrow?

Remind me what were you thinking for tomorrow?

Sorry brain is still fuzzy

I thought you had a house full

You're good

I do have a house full. Unamused.

Options:

Do nothing

Go somewhere platonic (shopping, drinking, food/coffee, chomping gummies, idc)

Find a discreet field? Lol

Find a local lodging establishment that has a check in time that still leaves a few hours (3pm is common but i can call around). Make those minutes count. West side or dewitt preferred

Go to the hot tub place and do whatever. Possibly not sanitary enough for you but it IS an option

Open to other suggestions

Alrighty then thank you

Let me process some caffeine and get my brain going

Allergies are kicking my ass rn

Omg same but weather changes for me. They seriously suck

This is the time of year I start wishing for a hard frost

I start wishing for nice cuddles

This is how bad i feel....

null

A liter down already

OMG you are sick!

Right?!

You're hitting the dihydrogen monoxide???

With extra chemicals added

Babe do you need help?

Nah just drugs and a lobotomy but thanks

Oh my

**Please

Awww sad

By nobe id sawe

Just drugs? And a lobo. Will that be all today ma'am?

Did you want chips with that?

Obviously!

Rawrrrrrr

Raptor needs chips?

Yes

But alsi

null

Lol!

Rawr!

null

What kind of science interests you the most? Physics is too broad lol

I will say electricity and magnetism. Definitely my favorite classes in college, and I've watched an entire series of lectures from MIT as well

Thanks!

Outside of physics?

Did you have an original career goal?

Yes, I wanted to teach high school physics lol, 100% serious

Astronomy has always been a fav subject for me as well

Do you think you would have/still have made a good HS teacher?

I do think so.

What happened when you were no longer at msu?

I took a job as a phlebotomist at a plasma center

I know that

And i know there was a relationship falling out. I think

Did you just stop going to class? No more assignments? Get in too much trouble & get expelled?

I dropped out which is to say I didn't re-enroll for classes in fall 1989

Oh, i see now

What did you base that decision on?

I can tell you dont like this topic, i can drop it

Oh it's fine really. But I am really stuffed up. Thinking about taking decongestant... Which is not my favorite way to be either but probably better than this.

Anyway I had just gotten to the point where I had to recognize I had zero motivation to go to school so made no sense to try to keep that up. I blew off half of my classes in the previous spring semester and my transcript was looking really shitty at that point.

Thanks for that

Yeah, i don't mind decongestants but i had to resort to "extra" meds today and i hate how i feel rn. Twins, lol

What is rlh doing today?

How is cleaning?

2 more questions too lol

I haven't been able to start cleaning yet. The thought of stirring up dust is kind of a deterrent

She is sitting on the back porch doing what she does there

Is it everyday average nicotine & tobacco or more fun plants or both?

Just dont clean today. Be you. Make a soa day or whatever

*spa

Probably both. I don't pay attention

Lay back with music and a face mask

Hey i love you

Hey I love you too babe!
Thanks 😊

When these symptoms die back I will be able to deal with a little bit at least

Or not

You'll be okau regardless

I know lol. I just want to get the basement area to a certain point of done

It's close now

I know. Sanm here, different house level

Can i ask a perspective/experience?

Of course you can!

Topic: fingering me

That's your essay prompt, lol

Ooh lovely

One thing I really like to do is get my finger good and wet inside you, then smear it on a nipple, and then suck it off your nipple. So tasty

Interesting

More please

Middle finger is the best. Not only is it longest, for the most reach and flavor procurement, it's nice and centrally places so I can pull up and put pressure on your clit/mound and even stroke your pretty lips with adjacent fingers

Oooohmygod amazing

More

One nice feature of side fucking is I get excellent access to your pussy. I can rub it while I fuck you, either by reaching around, or by coming up from behind and between your legs. It's amazing.

Might even try to put a finger in you but it would be a pretty tight squeeze

Then again, you did mention you might like one in your sassy butt

Have you been double penetrated in this way?

All very hot, you have no idea how much i want to try that

I have not been DPed in this way. There was an attempt but there was also limited entry space, lol

More please

How do you know when and what to do and such?

Idk I just get a yen and go for it I guess. Plus whatever feedback I might be picking up guides me.

I might be inclined to pull out, slide down, and lick you like an ice cream cone for a minute. Then slide back up and fuck you some more

Ohhh fuckkkkkk

Yes

I can also really grab your hips and pull you into me , hard , while I thrust

A thousand times yes

I feel like i could think and climax at that rn

Mmm

Maybe you should?

Already breathing very hard

And when I cum I'm going to tell you and I'm going to tell you how fucking amazing you feel

And I'm going to tell you your pussy is miiiiine

Fuckkkkkkkkk yes

I want so much of your cum. In me and all over me and dripping and making me cum all over again

I'd like to paint your pussy with it some time, spreading it around on you

YES

And some time I'd like to give you a pearl necklace too

We'll figure it out

I believe snowblowing is also on our agenda

Ooh I don't know this one

You do. Maybe

We talked about it (typing)

You cum in me, suck it out or lap.ot up, kiss me, and then it's your choice who swallows after any more fluid exchanges you want

Oh yes! A little swapping

Mmmmm!

Jesus i want to be licked by you right now

Yummmm I would love to lick you up and down and right on your little fuck hole

I hope you get me sloppy wet

I hope so too I want to schmear you all over my face

Mmmmmmmm okay!

2024-10-12T17:15:28

How is your afternoon?

https://open.spotify.com/track/55Hlg31EQDXQn71p1KIr8r?si=gKQ_4nUHR0yn4RR3jfNtFw

Wow just started listening to Beach Bunny! Love her voice.

Reminds me of https://open.spotify.com/artist/3nKEqmxHdIu4WbtE2kKvya?si=eZ3KXBOhQP2HYZoIgQFqcw

We hosted Fea at our house circa 2016!

2024-10-12T18:38:49

Hi love

Needed a lot more sleep i guess, so that's what i did

Hosted fea!? That's so cool!

How was your apres midi?

I hope you had a restful sleep!
😘
It's been good. I can barely nose, but it's been good. I've been repairing/servicing things instead of cleaning.

No nose. I have no nose. I only have this thing on my face that runs like a faucet sometimes

Poor baby!

What have you been able to repair?

I refurbished 5 casters from my office chair. Got all the crap out, cleaned and lubed juicy parts.

Used those to replace the casters on my lab chair in the hobby area. Cleaned the height mechanism so it actually slides

Pretty satisfying all in all

Now I'm making semi-permanent light installs, tacking up the cordage with hot glue lol

Probably ruining another hoodie 😅

Noooooo!!!!! Hoodies are THE BEST

I have yet to see you in one though

Lol I am so with you. It's kind of a sacrilege to willfully boink then. I'm going to take this off actually

Awesome

I have a few fave hoodies, but not enough honestly!

I have a very excessive amount

Actually, maybe I'll fold some!

♥️ that!

No material damage to today's hoodie 🙂

Hurray!

I'm curious what you think of Beach Bunny. Whenever you're in the mood , or if it's a hard no.

Which should i listen to first?

I literally head the catalog once. Rec starting at the spiffipy start!

OMG this

https://open.spotify.com/track/3If5Siyr11DGucp7NqjYdQ?si=_W66qQObRk6Pqk8wkYMacw

Wow....intense!

Sometimes I like a growly grrl

Lol DO IT YOURSELF

What kinda mood are you in that you want to go further with, or what kind of mood do you wish for rn

Ooh tricky

I was just trying to figure that out

https://open.spotify.com/track/3vpzJwxVjwcbuqPclqOX9I?si=5icqT4hhRqGwhmmNg2JO7Q

Try this out

I have a state of mind where i just want to feel better

Feeling is up in the air rn, I'm at a precipice

Good choice so far, i enjoy Massive Attack

I learned of them from the theme to a once favorite TV show of mine

Was the song "angel"?

Show? No

House

https://open.spotify.com/track/2SDswD3RdceDWthkgCrCCU?si=K9CrCd3DSjS13DyqXpRbQg

Just for you ❤️

Thank you

Any time

I randomly downloaded RisingSon from a binary repo, rest is my history. I probably missed a tour in Detroit by a year.

Ohh sad

Thoughts on Julia Michaels song?

https://open.spotify.com/track/52TEZQ5bTDa5qhnHD0hLQb?si=V0Dx_oNpRLKsGFi8BNZ1Bw

You get that too

Will queue Julia now!
She did "horns" right?

Nope. Different lady

I can relate to this sentiment 😊

Yeah

I get that

I feel bad saying this but I don't often click with contemporary male vocals

Have to say too, l am usually 80% focused on the instruments and 20% on lyrics

Dont feel bad, music isnt always mean to appeal to everyone

Esp my earky aughts ones lol

I have a pic to send. Cropped out the parents. Immediate reaction & thoughts please

null

Pretty lady. Very hot

Anything you'd like to add? Not a trap, just asking

You and me

Your fav black panties

Omg

Emmhmm?

Anyway, that's whay today's homecoming court wore

ooOoo

How delicious

Lol you know her mom, I'm pretty sure

You imbibe at all yet?

Yes

I feel properly anesthesia adjusted now

Oh??

Allergies really wrecked an other wise healthy day

Happens every year. This one is sorta exceptional imo

You still want to get me my first high?

I do want that. I'm not comfy I can do it tomorrow though. I'm going to me medicine-wrecked

Damn let me see how I'm feeling at noon ony

Ok

You are so fine

I was still thinking next weekend

I really wish we could have sex right this second

Roger that sweet baby

This is my head on 2/3 of sex drugs, and rock and y

Why
Phone
Why


Rock and roll

Hahaha

You'll be on 3/3 of us soon enough

Oh life would be a dream

I have an outfit idea. Two images:

null

null

Thoughts?

For me?

Hesitate means no?

Thoughts...

I have that pink thing

Why do you like it?

Yes but better

Ok I will follow your lead now

Are you just rando snapping girls at the store? Lol

See above

I did , yesterday. First time honestly, felt like a creep. But I had my hair way up in a bunny thing with my new stick as cover lol

This was at some distance, 3 or 4 aisles

You realllly liked the outfit?

I need to know what about it you like

I love the length. I love the fit. I do like the color as well. I love the white blouse under. Love the pigtails too

Why the blouse under?

You never told me your first Massive Attack song

The blouse is bonkers cute in public

Optional in bedroom

Teardrop, i think is the name

Just wondered about the blouse. Typically i wouldnt wear something under, except maybe short shorts. I'm an exceptionally conservative dresser

Blouse is optional

Rawr

Rawr

So you would modestly present with jumper and nothing under? Just clarifying here

Mmhmmmm ofc you are

Very very unlikely. And a cardigan over it. I like you salivating while you wait til you can have all of me

Harrumph

I could proooooooobably be convinced otherwise

Sweater puppies are the best

I only wear a bra like half the time I'm outside tge house anyway

Oh sweet baby

null

🥰

https://open.spotify.com/track/3kKVqFF4pv4EXeQe428zl2?si=YyznHaiZSoyTRmffcj2rpQ


I expect you know this?

I have a completely different perspective on this all of a sudden

Say more

Please tell me your current familiarity with the song. This context will help!

Read the lyrics. Felt a way. That's about it.

😊

Cool. Ty 😊

Few songs speak to me in the way this does.

I thought I understood the players before, in the story of the lyrics that is; I have now reconciled a piece that was my missing

It's kinda deep man lol

Can you explain how you felt? As plan or poetic as you think it might be needed

I feel I am the speaker

The one I knew, I wanted to be someone else. But I held tight because it's what I had



My romantic brain wants to be your everything

Is there a continuation to that? There doesnt need to be

I love and appreciate you for you, yknow

I could lounge in that song for hours; You would make it complete for the first time for me

That's one of the closer connections to my heart ❤️

I would live to do that

Soooooon sweet baby

I have unfortunate news in that I feel the need to stay in tomorrow because I feel like a cesspool after a day of blowing runny nose

That is 100% fine

Might actually be good :)

Thank you for telling me

If you need to cut out for sleep, please let me know

Will do

So far so good

In your mind's ideal, do you think of yourself rescuing me? I dont know how else to say that

null

Protecting.

I am so glad i cant tell what that image is

Thank you. Yes. This makes me wonder what your working list is like. That from which i need protection

I made a picture

Well I asked ChatGPT to make one

Have to go to another device to get it brb

null

Not at all

It's lovely

Ty!
I like to throw random things at ChatGPT to see how it will go. This was third attempt

What did you tell it?

Lemme see if I can share the sequence. It was progressive if you get me

OMG I will have a link for you shortly

The girl in the first pane is the bwsty

Lol the best

https://chatgpt.com/share/670b3ad0-10e0-8007-922e-741780859f18

Maybe maybe maybe

Thank you ❤️

Please tell me anything you want to say about this

I have a lot of thoughts

Did you ask it to make the savior also a girl?

No, but I went with it.

So you did notice

Oh yeah. See Problem in first frame

I'm aware.... i thought that was ironic

Lol nooo

Yep

More for you in the morning.... falling asleep as i type

Sweet dreams!

Ok babygirl

I love you

Sweet dreams sweetheart ♥️

2024-10-13T07:11:20

null

2024-10-13T08:43:10

Omg i have some totally awesome stuff for you

Hi beebee!

Yay!

How you be ?

Pretty good so far

Does my nose hurt tho lol

Aw

You got big plans?

No, need to nurse myself back to a semblance of health

That IS a plan!

Do you need meds or fluid or soup or aloe tissues or anything? I'm happy to dash it to you

You would be better:)

I will be next weekend......

You could count down the hours now

Would you like a spice encyclopedia?

Only if it has you on the cover

I dont have boudoir photoa yet

Hmm. We need to do something about this

I agree

null

That looks pretty cool

It can be yours!

Are you organizing books?

Cleaning the kitchen

null

Cookbooks

And signed ones

null

Wanna see the magnet i have for you?

Yes, please!

null

I also habe a decal/sticker for you that's entirely different but you can wait for the surprise ;)

Hehheh nice one

Indeed

2024-10-13T13:18:16

How's it going?

Kinda meh

Low energy today

Bummer

Same but different here

Enjoying being left alone (mostly) but kinda want to go somewhere but can't

And why tf does he sleep So MUCH

null

Think im about to build my cubbycase

Lol that joke is so wrong

Finally made some hot food... Oatmeal with chopped walnuts and honey

Nice

Is that your fave flav?

Sometimes I'll just eat it plain with salt lol

Feeling fancy today with the walnuts, and I picked up the local honey at Jerusalem the other day so I wanted to try that

Sometimes I will chuck blueberries in there. Hot blueberries are kinda weird tho

Like far, sour bugs

Fat

I am also shopping for winter boots

I have none

Yeah? What type? You can have mine lol

Lol nice

Do they have purple poofs on them?

Not these lol

I'm looking at some Carhartt s and a pair by Danner

I'm not an experienced boot shopper

I think my criteria are
Insulated
Waterproof
No zipper
8" height

9.5 men's size

Not $400

https://www.supercasuals.com/category.cfm/674

Thank you!

2024-10-13T16:36:29

Thanks I ended up ordering from that place!

Yay!

How are you?

I escaped for a while, left phone at home accidentally

Oops lol

Yeah it's fine

Accidentally bought a stack of books

😅

null

It just happened!

They just jumped in my bag!

I know!

And how are things going there?

All is well. I did a little bit of cleaning, then took a nice thorough shower. Having leftovers now

Working all week?

Yes. And we have on-site all-department agenda Tuesday -Thursday as well

Maybe I should weasel off Friday afternoon

Omg ew to the work week!

I am supposedly back to preoutage schedule this week. I have a seeming lot of free times

So no more phones?

Not what i said

Just normal schedule

Oh I see

Significantly fewer calls now though

Where did those books adopt you?

Schuler in Okemos

Had to leave some of their rescue siblings behind sadly

Aww!

We can go back!

Lol rescue mission!

Exactly!

Do you want to know when I'm home alone this week?

Well sure why not?

Tomorrow just for a few hours, afternoon/evening

Any chance on Wednesday?

Unknown at this moment

He isn't back to the office yet

I work from home all but Tuesday

I have Wednesday off. All the time

Oh! Are you officially part time?

Nope. Never have been.

I work 10 hours, 4 days a week

Maybe I should start taking Wednesdays off lol

I have internet lol

So what is your normal schedule?

MTRF 0700 - 1715
Tuesday is in office

So maybe i leave the door unlocked and rell you when it's cool to come over and we make out and you leave after getting some m7ch deserved head or whatever

Oh how I'd love that

2024-10-14T04:05:02

Hallooooo!

2024-10-14T06:00:31

Bonjour mon amor!

Hieeee

I miss you

I am missing you too:)

How are you this morning?

I feel really good!

Ask me again at 0900 lol

I've been awake since 0330

I sort of see that lol

QOTD; "omg why are you up so early??"

Ummmmm because i actually overslept and it's a work day and after 6am?

Lol

I finished my word games already

Yay! 🎉

Glued some Popsicle sticks lol

Ooh nice

What for?

Getting ready for the lathe. Should be here next week or maybe earlier

I figured I'd better start with cheap materials lol

https://www.reddit.com/r/Satisfyingasfuck/s/DhpnFXdiWa


OMG this guy

Lol

Have you ever played an organized sport?

Not willingly

We'll sort of. The marching band had a contingent that played flag football. I joined ned under duress lol

Lol

Academic teams?

https://open.spotify.com/track/5sTsbKMuBuIZoGHfoFXdwU?si=zL7ZKEn8T3epf_nc73odug

Happy wake up music!

Zippy!

It's what i wanted for waking up lol

Here's something new...

null

Interesting

Who is Desi?

His sister. I cant even describe all of her to you

Lol got it

I will get to it one of these days

Anything on your mind?

So is your mom getting rid of things

HIS mother

Idk

I think it's more manipulation

Ohhhhhh

She claims she's dying roughly every 6 - 8 months

Ah ok lol

She got a new phone number because i blocked the other about 2 years ago

And my mother uses proper grammar lol

Hahaha

I'm thinking about how much I am not looking forward to this week. Tomorrow all day in office for hack a thon, followed by team building event, followed by dinner with team

Wednesday all day in office for hack a thon, followed by happy hour

Thursday all day in office for hack a thon

I am so sorry

I heard some woman at Mega Mall ladt Thursday talking about this week's hack a thon

Weird!

I wonder who

On the bright side.... you'll get to unleash a massive amount of pent up sexual tension and cum in me as much as you'd like in just a few days

I sure hope so

I'll suck you off tonight if you feel like it.... you iust have to let me know

I might have to take someone to dinner

You know I never do that right

???

Ohhhh right

There's an Applebee's close by

Tell her you need the lavatory and skip out

Lolol

I'm just going to skip off to the loo for a quickie

Happy fuckaversary btw

Oh for real?

You.too!

Thanks for changing my life

Of course

My pleasure ♥️

null

Well great. Your nerddom rubbed off on me

I have a misc tech nin now

*bin

Muahahah

2024-10-14T10:12:52

https://open.spotify.com/track/4dTVgHZFPlaq9nPbLVVLSG?si=lObpvgeOTnaScfchaoSe_A

Aww! Thx I like Tegan and Sara

I have their signed book

Nice! Where did you get all the signed books?

Some i find in the wild, some i go get signed, every year B&N and BAM have a signed section around black Friday

Cool!

I like them

I have a Christopher Paolini that was $6

He wrote the Eragon series

The Veronicas?

Hmmm?

That's a no, lol

https://open.spotify.com/track/438GLukPRpTj8VbdzPImMg?si=dxSIN3XwQNOZ9A2UXFNtqQ

https://open.spotify.com/track/4ECvB9frSDegHfKNRh9dwT?si=mOLsA6zhSISA7X_P1eFUXA

null

Hieeee cuties!

null

Now he is in mommyjail

Oo bad kitty

He thinks he is my IT support

Cat stenographer

Oh you have one as well!

Well kinda 3

Lol I only have one and the only thing he knows is
222222222222222


Wwwwwwwewwww222222222211121

2024-10-14T13:03:09

Eyyyyyyuu

Wassup

How you doin?

Tired lol

Awws

What are you thinking still about the weekend?

It's on my mind lol

Which day do you reckon is better for you? Saturday will definitely be easier for me

Tell the hub there's a gun and knife show in Chicago. That oughta do the trick

Lol

He will be at a cabin in the northland

I can for sure do saturday

Tell me a time to be ready :)

oooOOOooo

I can do more than one day....

By best shot at getting the hell out of here is definitely Saturday

I'm thinking noon, to be confirmed!

Noon-ish that is ool

I'll just wait with bated breath

Huh huh you said bated

I did

You wanna do lots of things saturday??

Maybe even see me naked

Leave me dripping

Get a little inebriated

All the things!

Dammit my furnace will not come on

It's not a big deal rn but dammit anyway

I'll cuddle you to warmth

Perfect

They say that's the best way

Nope

Best way is internal friction

Lololol

Maybe some fluid transfer

Ok just not too much friction

I get owies

Awww! I do too

Internal momentum?

As long as there's some lubrication to moderate the friction we good

Now you're making me all bothered

You and your internal fluid transfer plans

I'll take it all back

All. Of. You.

Guarantee you'll sweat

But i also want under covers so there's that too

Maybe you hold me and fuck me at the same time :)

Maybe I will do that it would pretty good right now

(You'd be the first to plant that flag)

The more the merrier!

I know already exactly the sound that'll escape my chest

Oh?

It's delicate, sweet, hot, and gutteral. I can feel it now but can't make it myself

Oh I can't wait to hear it

You know I can restrain you from behind as well. You on your knees and either upright or face down on the pillow, while I hold your arms back

Being very careful of course of the delicate right arm

I wantttttttttt this

Omg please restrain me

I have ribbons that can help

Like 3 feet each. 8 of them

😊

Yay!

Can you tell me what turns you on about this new possibility? I'm stoked - i didn't think you'd do it

I guess I've long thought a little restraint would be fun

Never had a chance to try it

Everything you want, i want, and then i want more

There has to be more.... what woule you like to do while I'm restrained?

Depending on how much restraint we're talking about, I could eat you out, lick your ears, etc.

What about for YOU?

Whatever mood strikes me I reckon.

I don't plan too far ahead

Yeah i need that

What you need is a proper pounding :)

YES

And I think your boobies need nibbled on

Might have some neck spots too

You should explore for all of it

Oh yeah

I like your neck

I can do things with my tongue on your neck

Ohh fuckkkk

You got that right lol

Maybe I'll get so into it i break your face lol

😛

I kind of really want to do something similar

Omg anxiety or something is killing me rn

Oh noes!

I know i know

But i am now free!

Yay!

null

You should come feed me lol

I was that as

You should come feel me

Lol

So no on the food? Sad

I will feed you Missy

Lol

...this weekend

You stopping by my office tomorrow?

I will!

So far away!

Tomorrow is going to be such a cluster. I don't think I will get home until 2030

Really??

Yep

But why?

From work to escape room (team building), and then to dinner

Ohh

I didnt realize that was one day

Yeesh

Yeppers :(

You plan on having energy left for this weekend?

Fortunately no extracurricular events Thursday or Friday:)

Maybe you swing by here on your way back

That's why I was asking about Wednesday. It will be much easier to get away earlier

Mmhmmm

I dont work

That's all i know for now

Well then you oughta be fresh as a daisy at 1800

Perhaps, just not a location to speak of

Right right.

Yep

What if i happen to not work Friday afternoon?

I may also happen to not work at that time !

Really though - i think I'm off Friday

Lol you think so eh

I know so

Well then

Yep

I could meet you!

Indeed! Where?

I dunno! What kind of meetup should we have?

The weather might be nice

My house will probably be fine if you'd like - just saying anywhere might be an option

That's going to be tough to beat!

I'll need a time is all ;)

Let me confirm I can get the afternoon free tomorrow.. should be no problem. Is noon too early?

You mean for Friday, correct?

Noon should be fine

Yeah sorry that was confusing of me!

Tomorrow, I will confirm my freedom on Friday afternoon

Sounds good!

Fucking you under the sheets sounds good

Omg yes please

Think you can be slow and sensual or do we need to shelve that?

I can be slow and sensual

Sure

You dont have to

I do have some requisites. Ibelieve you know them

Pin you down kind of requisites?

That's a request

Kiss your neck

Just the first word is an all the time requisite

I think there are 2 more

Finger

Not necesarily, but you do have to be sure, somehow, that I'm ready

1 more

Tell you before I come

I am aware that it might just happen

I dont think you'll think of thls rule. I am wholly deflated now, realizing this isn't a normal thing to think of

Don't feel bad!

I want to take care of you

So you want to know the rule

I sure do

It was going to be that you talk to me later that day and the next

Now i want the requisite to be that there's aftercare

Ok!

Aftercare is part of the package

No pump and dump

That's why i feel awful right now

No need to feel bad about it

That's the need you have

And have it you will

I feel bad about myself for not knowing that isn't so normal, for assuming I should only be good enough for the other or whatever

Don't even worry about it.
You are perfectly ok expressing your needs

I dont think I'm expreasing my feeling well

I feel like a dirty, godawful, cum dumpster whore of a loser slut

And you don't like that

You would like to be cherished

Not when it was purely about being used because i was easy to manipulate

You are in control now

And i want to please you

You know i don't understand why

I know

I just hope you enjoy being treated like an equal

Like a gram

Gem

Thx phone

I dont think we're equal, in a lot of ways

But we can treat each other as such

It's in my head that i havent gotten you off yet

No worries at all babe

We will figure that out

I feel inadequate and insecure and like i failed. And that it could easily be used against me

I will never do that

I understand your fear though

I dont think you would, but like your mind would tell you it's a good reason to not stick around

It's not even a thing. Tell your demons to bugger off, we have fun things to think about

Lol okay

You can laugh at them later

When you prove them wrong

And know that even if I don't get my way 100%, I will still protect you

And I will still love you!

null

I really wish you could protect all of me

Me too

I also wish you knew what you didnt know but that neither of us knew it too

Sadly the world is full of bad news

But if I can hold you for a while, I feel like I get recharged

That's very strange, and very lovely

I like being with you.
And I really like holding you
And I really really like sleeping with you

You are such an amazing person

You are

And thank you

I love you

A lot

null

You know it actually hurts to love you this much and feel it back

That's why we need to have some hugs :)

Yes. And more

2024-10-15T05:09:57

Good morning cutie!

2024-10-15T07:22:38

Heyyyy

Did you sleep in?

How are ya?

I slept late. Unintentionally.

I'm alright

Chillin in this office

Where are you?

Getting ready to leave the house in a minute

Well I'll be here! You want food or bev?

I'm all set thank you! See you soon

2024-10-15T08:53:23

null

null

Wanna go to paris?

Oh let's!!!

On y va!

Cold & rainy there in March. Better find creative ways to warm up

Oh la la!

Ca va? Maintenany

*maintenant

Pas Mal

Ça va

Vous venez ici... quand?

Je vous manque

C'est une phrase plus belle qu'on peut croire

Je voudrais vous demander une question tres importante

Si?

Je suis arrivee

Langue torte

Revenez!

2024-10-15T13:12:29

What time are you escaping this building today?

About 1630. Then off to the escape room team building event lol

Yeah i know

Maybe you come here and make out some before you leave

I'll add the lip gloss now just in case

You are making it hard to escape lol

I said BEFORE

Lol

It's not like i have an entire bag of spearmint lifesavers in here begging to be consumed

Oh wait....

2024-10-15T14:53:57

Lol

We have brownies, choc chip cookies, and trail mix bars.

Interested?

Maybe if you feed me

Cookies! Plz

Thank you for feeding me :)

Friday might be overly lonely

What do i know??

Whyy lonely? No lonely no!

I hadnt heard

It should be a nice day for a nature experience

Nature, you say?

Well yes i do have an enclosed backyard!

Maybe you can convince some chick to make you a dish

Ironically enough, "side" qualifies both the female and the food

How drole

Lol

I was thinking about a real birds and bees experience

Sounds lovely

You'll have choices to make, you know

When do i start compulsively chomping these lifesavers?

https://www.shopeastwoodtownecenter.com/directory/

There might be no less than 2 places i was thinking of going in there tomorrow

I forgot how you taste already and so maybe you should come back??

😘

null

Anyway, 2 places there. I was going to go to one last week and that fell through

But then again you also havent seen me in lingerie yet

Oh such the conundrum!

You tell me where to go before Friday

Questions?

Breaking free now :)

You want me to tell you where to go shopping??

There's more than shopping in eastwood

But maybe

(Yes)

Maybe meridian mall. Idk. Not thrilled right now

Grab a screwdriver so we can lobotomize me already, please

2024-10-15T19:28:04

https://waxcenter.com/

One option for this week or tomorrow

https://www.torrid.com/

Another

https://www.victoriassecret.com/us/

Another

( fin )

2024-10-15T20:32:40

I'm in the mood for something spicy. What's at torrid?

How spicy?

Idk

Black lacy goth tease me

Tease you now? Then? Always?

I will

Happy ro

Gooood newssssss

Newses?

Yep

You will tease me?

I suppose, lol

I might need guidance in that

I want you

I know you do

I want you too

What newses do you have?

What would your choice of news be?

I get to pick! Like choose your own adventure?

Choose your news indeed

Chews my nose

Indeed

Does it start with L?

I can make lots start with L

Leav

Lol?

Light
Little
Lingerie
Low-cut
Luxurious
Lackadaisical
...

Lick
Lip
Limber
Loquacious
Lingering

Lingual, perhaps?

Lovely

Lively

Listless

Lustful

Looking forward

Longingly

Languishing, lad?

Like yes

Laugh

For friday

When do you have to leave?

Did you want me teasygothic then or Saturday?

Still up for both?

What do you want me to have for you?

And i cant decide on what i should do thursday night. You need to decide for me

2024-10-16T00:25:53

I would so love for you to be awake right now

2024-10-16T04:22:36

And a very good morning to you whenever you wake up ❤️

Kinda been thinking about you all night. I'm unbelievably greedy-feeling now in the best way

And i have a funny story about falling down some stairs

Hieee sweet baby!

Are you ok (stairs) ?

What have you been thinking about? I'm so wanting to know what you are like when you are greedy!

2024-10-16T07:51:15

The stairs... totally fine. Took a tumble, didn't actually fall.... i was thinking about you and the things you do SO SO SO well and my legs literally git weak and tried to give out

How are you?

Ready to hack the thon?

Hahahah!

I'm as ready to thon as I can be

Need be to think outside the box for you at all?

Imma think inside your box missyy

Hope there's a lot more than thinking but i digress

2024-10-16T10:16:53

Hey!

Think dirty thoughts

Lol

Arrgh I am trying!

Not hard enoughhhhb

Pun intended

Something nsfw to look up later: lightning bolt. As a position.

Enjoying the day?

null

I'm getting through it lol

Just did team pic lol

You bein cute and whatnot?

You just lmk when you want more teases

I am

null

Fluffier please!

Dirty thoughts yet?

2024-10-16T16:03:17

Omg your work is killlllllling me today!

Ok I am now sitting alone on the ninth floor. What are you up to? Should I go to happy hour or maybe not...

Are you completely spent?

I might have spent the day unnecessadily thrifting

Quelle surprise, lol

Nope , I am good to go

Drinks on AF?

Is that where you are no

*now?

I hope you're having fun

Just having a lemonade on the house. I could leave any time lol

But where to go?

What do you feasibly want to do?

I happen to bea few blocks away and can go just about anywhere if you need company

Leaving soon....

I will meet you!

Where are you sugar lump?

I am seeking for you!

Lol

With an absolutely comical amount of projectry at the place i last sucked your fingers

We drinking? Could be fun!

Be there in 5

I'll wait on the corner lol

But nah. In front if that's okay

Just as long as you know i am perfectly willing to go home then meet you wherever

On my own

2024-10-16T19:18:15

null

Downward dog

Very enticing actually

Lol

Kind of, but there's even better reasoning

Rug burn avoidance

Maybe

Foot traction though

Stairs

The yoga mat places a good traction between your feet and the carpet. You wont slide around

I reckon that's important if you're wearing socks amiright?

More for you

Is baby oil involved?

Omg no puff daddy

But if you pound me like you claim you want, you'll move backward after each thrust if it's just you & carpet

Thank you, btw

Thanks for what?

Everything tonight, silly boy

What comforter should i use?

*we

And would you like a synopsis of what the huge family divide on my mother's aide if the family is-was? I can do it by sending you a link, then you can ask what you want because there are a few sides and i know them all

Tell me about the comforter options first please!

And I would like to examine the link you mentioned

Solid color or print? Fluffy or coverlet style?

Tell me when you're ready for the link

Prefacing that i havent read it but anyone who knows enough of me knows it's accurate to a lot of the lesser stuff i dealt with. They all kinda said I'm probably not good to read it yet

Fascinating

Fluffy, print

Ready for the link

https://www.lovewhatmatters.com/andrew-didnt-make-it-for-the-first-time-i-felt-free-sexual-abuse-survivor-healing-journey-sobriety-motherhood/

That's one

There's more

I guess i cant find the other writing oonline

I just reread a lot of things between my cousin leslie and me. I think i might share them with you sometime. God i miss her. And i forgot things that have now made me..... pensive

Anyway

What say you?

I just finished reading the article

Oh okay. Is it long?

The one i was thinking of initially is what i couldnt find

I'm a slow reader lol

Still the same "falling out"

I legit have no idea how long it what it says

I can tell you about it if you want. Either way. I can tell it was probably somewhat cathartic for Lauren to write it. It's not actually what I would consider intense.

It does make me think of a question

Yes please

A fairly serious one. Maybe I asked something like this already

Go ahead

Do you have any concern that you may be seeking the treatment you received as a SA victim?

I think that would be profoundly unhealthy

And I do not want to harm you

I have an answer and that answer will not change and i will tell you

Can i ask what you mean?

You're asking if I'm trying to be victimized again, right?

What makes you ask that?

And what would you be doing to harm me?

I don't mean to suggest that you want to be victimized. It's my armchair psychologist understanding that there is a pattern of behavior in which victims of SA, DA, etc., unwittingly find themselves in such situations again in part because they don't know better for themselves. It's not that they want it as such, but they can't break the cycle

My response (typed as you were typing too)

I went kind of off the deep end 3 or 3.5 years ago when i heard all this confirmed and some more upsetting stuff about my brother and pieces together a lot. That all happened by accident one day, i just stumbled across the info. I was also trying to deal with my own past SA traumas with a shitty psychologist who made a lot of things worse for me. He (psychologist) "broke up with me" in an email the day i was scheduled to see him, which was the day after tgis new wave of information and realization drowned me. Then i made a lot of bad, slutty, dangerous decisions. Promiscuity is a common trait in SA survivors. I sought out good and bad and worse and different and everything. I was craving a lot too.

Ive played with the idea of cnc but i dont think i am mentally sound enough for it to be cathartic like it can be and i dont think anyone i trust enough to engage in cnc with me actually would. Plus i dont fight back or flight away - i faun/freeze and dissociate.

I will never let an SA happen again and that was ultra clear to me 3 years ago all of a sudden

Is that what you needed?

I am going to read your next text now

I think you are very correct in your armchair

I know you are

Ok thank you for that--i needed to hear this from you and I am much relieved

I don't want to harm you. Whether that be overly, psychologically, or inadvertently. I can control how I act and what happens on the outside and I am not worried about that. But if I were hiring you inside (I am not talking physiologically here) I would be devastated

Damn typos!

Another idea that explains it well is that i am my own person with my body that i get to make my own decisions for now

And there's so much i didn't even know

Said another way...

As much as I want you, I do not want to take advantage of you. It's fine if we want to love in that way, passion and all. But I'm not into cruelty.

You've satisfied my need to know here. Thank you for articulating your position so well

I can lighten up now!

Okay :)

You are such a lovely person 💖

I really do admire you

I do you as well

You are sweet

Why do you think i am lovely when i am so obviously fucked with issues of all sorts?

Do you know why i think you're admirable?

Because of your relentless pursuit of rising above your challenges, bettering yourself because you can. You are intelligent, you are quick, you are funny, and on top of all that you are cute as a button and extremely hot

You are too much

😊

Lol YW

What was your "plan" if there was an open pull off?

Why havent i had any kisses in 32+ hours?

Snogging was part of the plan

Also this was reconnaissance... The first area is adjacent to a nice meadow that isn't really visible from the parking area or the road

You sure do count well

Oh?? Math isnt my thing lol

And still... nary a pout to be nibbled

I am so not good at cues

Damn

If I put myself in your mailbox will you bring me in?

I literally asked you for lifesavers

And obviously

I would bring you as far in as you can come

I'm slow like that
I wish I could say why, but I don't know why

In appropriate seclusion, you can ALWAYS kiss me

I kiss back better when i feel confident i dont smell or taste icky

So you think you know my plans tomorrow evening still?

I can confidently say I have no clue

Eastwood

Service and shopping :)

All for you+me

You hadddddd to have the inclination

Oh! I thought of some very pertinent details to the cousin drama thing

Do you know why i like you to be in charge?

2024-10-16T23:12:09

:(

2024-10-17T00:15:26

null

null

36 hours and everything is yours

null

2024-10-17T04:33:19

Good morning my sweetest!

Walking up to boobies in my face is one of the very best things in life!

Privyet!

Kak dela?

😋

How are you?

Feeling good!

Counting the hours here. 31 until fun!

null

What are you up to?

You like me to be in charge because... You want to be freed and I'm nice to you?

And it did think you were going to go to the East town qood center but you're tricksy with your language sometimes 😜

Sorry, i guess i took an early nap?? Lol

I do like that part. I like not thinking anrI also know you have a zillion times more idea how to do things and ehat and you will always have had more activity than i have

TLDR: I want to be out of my head, you know how to sex better, i ike being controlled by you in this weird l. I love what you do to me

Yay! Pleasing you pleases me and makes me want you even more. It's such a fun spiral to go down

Or up I guess

Go into?

Fuck I'm tired

Have you been up all night lol

Nope

Woke up like 34 seconds before i texted you this morning

😘

Do you need shopping ideas?

I'd love them!

I currently have 3 destinatiojs as priority

Here are a few things that caught my eye

Doesn't have to be purple... Green, black, royal blue all work too

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null

null

Those are definitely my style!

Where they be?

What size are you?

Had to ultrastream the caffeine today. But i balanced it with healthy breakfast!

null

Haha! My favorite mixed veg :)

null

Those pics were just random hits on the interwebs. Size men's large should work for me for undies, if you are ever so inclined

Do you have Google lens on your phone?

Ofc!

Why you ask?

Also, need neck broken so there's less oww there and need kisses and need extra fluid and need so much more

Ok lol

I was thinking lens is your best bet to locate those things. I probably still have the refs if you need them

Pic 1 is at amazon

I can find similar, thanks!

No problem

I will not wear anything that isn't stretchy. Just a general rule you should know i guess. Lol

Fair!

How different do you think our panty size is between us?

Prob not much lol

We should experiment

Another rule for garments - if it could be restrictive enough for a panic attack at some point, i wont own or wear it

Im perfectly olay not gettjng completely naked too

Thats just a good point of information

null

 ​😂​ to a photo 

Thoughts?

That is hilarious

I meant the partially clothed thing but sure

Kinda thought you'd be hard set on thoughts of what we can do in less than 1700 minutes

I lovvvvvvvvvve when you think of me

I do the same about you though. All. Day. Long.

You know how i mentioned ice cream a thousand times?

Quick question: where do you want me to be baby smooth and hairless? Endless options

What kind of room/setting/environmental/ambient scents do you like? Dislike? Keep in mind that lilac is wayyyyy out of season now lol

I going to try to do better with clues :)

I like your room, it's cozy

I think about you all the time babe

Thank you! Ive been working really hard at making it better and more inviting for you. Vacuuming lots because pets and dust and i want you to breathe. But i do have a nebulizer and an army full of albuterol and alb inhalers

I'm also cleaning off the couch

So the ice cream references make more sense now or still no?

Id like to explain explicitly so you tell me when

Ok we're cramming for a presentation but I will get freed up later!

Okay! 👌

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 ​❤️​ to a photo 

Woke up to scowlcat

null

1. Room scent?

2. You fave color for you to wear underneath?

3. Do you need any fairy lights?

4. You have ideas/"set" objectives tomorrow. Anything specific i get to know now?

5. Flavor you want to taste from/on me?

6. Weird question that i need to kind of share background for when you have a sec to be attentive

7. Please pull my hair. Grab my face or my head and bring me to you. Show me so much more than i know.

8. Lingerie tomorrow or Saturday or both?

9. Saturday noonish? Just need to know if i can go have coffee that morning

10. Maybe we get me high on saturday?

11. Do you like me being nervous, ever?

Ok this is going to take me days to respond to lol

Nope

Numerized for convenience

null

2024-10-17T12:14:31

Less than 24 hours

Just sayin

Yay!!!!!

Pic makes sense?

What is lunch (you & me)?

2024-10-17T14:41:03

Heh, the pic makes sense :)

Good. Remember it lol

Dealing with a little cluster fuck and I will be done here finally

Yay!

Clusters? Tasty!
Fucks? Well obv
Done soon? Me too, kinda

But a plan is coming together!

I have key info i need before 5ish from you

Ok

1730 at latest

Enjoy the Cluck!

You will have my undivided attention soon

😊

What are your questions so I ponder

Last minute attire requests

Color you would wear, and prime choice of panty style

Room air scent you love other than lilac

Room scents you hate

I have an awkward question too

If i taste like lube on accident, is that disgusting to you?

Depends. I think most lubes are basically inert or very light tasting. Don't worry about it

We've covered the scent q -- just keep it light and no manly smells lol

I'm sorry I don't know how to answer the panty or color question rn

No prob

Hey be happy!

I feel the terseness

Damn fire drill is irritating me

Sorry

Ah fuck that means I'll get all the calls

What a convenient break time

Not a literal one

Profit sharing has problems and it's on me to fix

Ohhhhhhh

How do you fix?

Excel calculations

So not ideas or reallocating funds?

We do nonstandard things for a few agencies. Guess which ones are error prone lol

Mine lol

Lolol

I will fix yours for free

Just saying mine are nonstandard

Who were you thinking?

Keystone

At the moment. It was High Street earlier

Oh okay

I'm just bitching

Guess who just did the leg thing again?

Oh no. Do you have skin left?

Yes - havent touched the skin - mindfully weakened the legs again ;)

Ok the fire is out and work

And the fire is lighting in my soul lol

How is your day punkin

You have no idea how badly I want to swing by your bedroom right now lol

Lol. It's still messy and dirty and so am i. Didnt even shower yet. Didn't brush my hair either

But it's also empty

I'm just going to get you all sweaty anyway

With your persperation? I hope so

I wasssss sorta free this evening

Still am, kinda. Work til 515, skip on outta here, secret mission, then appt at 630, then cleaning more

Cleaning me and the house

What am i supposed to feed you?

Time constraints saturday?

You free yet? Escape the terrors of 200 n grand ave?

Better!

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null

I am free!!

Yay!

Digital portals functionally restored?!?

If you consider a spreadsheet a digital portal, then yes!

Well we just got an af comm saying so....

Do you want to go select lingerie with me

I would like to but I will bring suspicion on myself if I disappear now

It's ok to surprise me

I'm going to love anything you pick

Feeling peckish so I scared up cheese and crackers with pretzels lol

I'm easy

Are you free yet?

I am free!

Changing then leaving

What about you and your salty snacks?

What about em? I like them lol

Obv! It's all ive ever seen you eat

So, you joining in the selection process or.....?

I can't leave the house without paying a suspicion tax, so not a good idea for me

Otherwise I would

I know you want ice cream and mints and stuff

I get it. I'm sorry

Need some distractianax?

Yeah!

Right. Totally the point of my ice cream references. And THOSE mints

>>heavy sarcasm<<

You know the distractianax?

Lol

No

To which?

Seriously, what should i spell out?

I'm sorry you lost me

I need help lol

My brain is frazzled

It's okay

Ice cream....

Hold me open, find all the spots, then spread your tongue wide so it's wet and slippery so you lick every bit of my favorite part of yours just l like a melting ice cream cone. Broad strokes. Little drip licks. Clean the sides. Stop the melting you started

Mints - that brand increases the amount of saliva you create like crazy. More for me to use than you

But I'm so pure... Surely you meant real ice cream? What is your favorite flavor?

What do you think?

Are you bringing whipped cream or am i getting it?

I got you

Mmmmkay

Well it ain't chocolate lol

Bring everythinlol for sure

So proud you're learning!

You do like caramel though

Yes

I do not like pieces of anything exceot peppermint stick

Pick a flavor please

Sweet

You said strawberry before

Wish me luck!

Took a before ;)

12 minutes btw

Whew!

?

Where ya been?

I nodded off

Well you need rest before tomorrow

Lol for real

Here i am running all sorta of errands and activities and nonsense lol

null

Well how dis that end up there!?

What was that 12 minute and before all about!?

All sorts of mysteries this evening

.

.

.

.

.

Omg you're killing me

Sorry!

What a pretty pic!

I wonder what's in the box

Bag is for the box lol

Oh it's a bag. I see!

What 12 minute?

Sorry I'm confused

null

You had an appt

Lasted 12 minutes

You're eyes are so pretty

Idk what kind of wood East center town things last 12 minutes

Thank you

I cant wait for you to look into them tomorrow

I hear they speak a lot of things for me and xan be quite expressive

La langue

Quelle evet?

Trying to decipher short appointments at EWTC

EWC

(It's a clue)

it's been a couple years since I've been in there

Evacuated water closet

Do you not have the interwebs?

Early weather conditions

Extra wet ____

That's up to you

Hmm

Every

Which

Witch

Watch

Extra wet (very dirty word in the US) was good with me

But still up to you

I'm down

Do you not use the google?

Consultation now

Oh, okay

Lol

Google is useless

Try ewc and eastwood maybe

But it was literally my first google result

When i typed in ewc

ooOOoo

That Ewc

Was it really not obv?

I was trying to see what stores were there

On s map

It's a smaller place. And not a store

Ok. I'm not familiar with it

Do you need me to spell it out again?

Wax, I got it now

Yes

Took 12 minutes

I took a before pic too

That's good science. We can compare

For science!

And so you can tell me how much of a deterrent it is/would be

I told you already it would be ok

But I know I like your smooth pussy a whole bunch

May i say something vulnerable?

See above

Yes, feel free to say

I think i logically understand you'd actually be okay with it. I wanted to feel comfortable enough to let you see, touch, feel, taste, and explore any of me you want. Being waxed is what I've done for a very long time and because i want you to have and see and feel everything you want, i wanted to feel comfident as i could to let you habe that part of me and being waxed was the only way i would be okay with it

So let's take advantage of that please

Absolutely! Thank you !

Im never going to complain about this

I also kind of know that

And thank you

And my tongue loves it

But just because you dont complain doesn't mean you dont feel negatively about it

Your tongue loves what?

Your smooth skin

I am so excited and so good anxious and so conflicted!

Why? Because I want to lock you all night and day?

Lick you!!!

A little

I will try and explain

I dont know what to expect

And i cant turn my brain off yet

Ok :)

I dont think you know what i mean though

Spouse home, possible intermittent afks

Ok no prob

I cant decide what im supposed to tell myself for tomorrow

What do you mean?

FYI I will have spouse interruption at some point

Okay!

I mean i dont know what mood to set myself up for. How to prepare, kind of

Ultra fun and experimental? Sensual and kind and exploratory with lovemaking?

I dont know what to think and that's uncommon and a little wary for me

But i will calm down tomorrow and just go with it

Do you feel like you need to know the script beforehand?

I just want to be with you and have fun :)

You will be smashingly wonderful

I just dont know how to not overthink

I want to let it happen

And i want you to want me, love me, think I'm pretty, hear that I'm the tightest youve been with and you'll never get enough

My poor baby!

You've prepared so well already!

I can't wait to see you and to be with you again, alone, so we can love each other the way we want to.

And I am wanting you every day

Every night

Really?

And I am so excited to see what you've done

YES!! ♥️♥️♥️

it makes me shiver with delight when I see you

I just want to grab and hug and squeeze you

And roll around with you and kiss you

And lick you and and and and

Yes I do

And tell you dirty things

And lick your ears and kiss your neck

And let you have your way with me

Because the passion in your eyes cannot be denied

And I want you so badly too

Mmmmmmmm

And I want to taste you on my fingers

And taste you with my lips

And I want to be smothered in your dampness

And I want you to cum all over me

And I know you want me too and I'm really excited about that!

I want a lot of you

You can have all of me

Please

I'm begging

Take me!

I will take you too

Promise?

It's been too long since we've been together

We have a lot to catch up on

It will be so fun!

We can do anything we want

And I want you

I want to be inside you

Feel you around me

Feel you squeeze me

Feel your beautiful skin

Smell you and taste you so close to me.... I'm going crazy here lol

Ohhhb my god yes

How necessary is the couch tomorrow?

Your bed will be fine babe

Thank you :)

Will it upset you if i have a drink?

No not at all!

😊

Ever look up nsfw lightning bolt position?

I have a position logic question too

Sure go ahead!
And no I am not familiar with the lightning bolt

How do you change into a new one? Like, if indont kkow how to move myself into it?

Sometimes we just disengage, reposition, and go again

Sometimes (eg from missionary to girl on top) we can roll over without disengaging

You kinda decide in the moment

Sometimes rolling over doesn't work out and maybe we have a laugh at how awkward it is :)

So disengaging is okay?

Isnt it awkward?

Tell me qhen you want a serioualy hot and very explicit photo of an unidentifiable me please

Possibly 2

Disengaging is fine
Reengaging is fun!

And you might want to taste yourself on me for a sec first. That's always an option

I still have basically one idea of how sex ahould go and so this really is new information

I can do that

I get concerned about getting too dry if we're doing too much

If that happens, we can pause, bring on the lube, or tongues, or both, ...

And you wont be offended?

No not at all!

It's nothing to worry about

I will have to put the phone down soon

Maybe you could send me one of those pics when I'm afk so I see it in the morning :)

You walking me through everything and explaining ultra basic stuff is so unbelievably helpful

It's fun too!

Telling me/reassuring as we're engaging will be tremendously more helpful too

I enjoy it

Ofc you got it!

And if i want something different, i can tell you? Guide you in the moment?

Yes yes, you sure can

♥️

null

I'm fading out babe

Good night sweetness

I will see you soon

Goodnight!

Less than 15 hours

Yay!

Good night!

🥰

2024-10-18T04:24:55

Good morning babe!
Guess what day it is?

2024-10-18T06:23:54

OMG lightning bolt position... I have only seen in pornos. It looks so damn hot. I love being so close to you 😍

Today is today!

 ​❤️​ to “ Today is today! ” 

I didnt clean any more (got sleepy lol) but the bed is clear and I'll be freshly showered so there's that!

😊

I can't wait to mess up your makeup

Maybe my hair

Done with my appt :)

Oh you had appt today as well?

Yep! Thought you knew

I alluded but maybe didnt outright say so

I've been so scattered the last few days I probably missed it

I feel MUCH better now

Everything copacetic?

Yep!

How's everything today for you?

So far so good

Are you home alone?

Not yet but absolutely will be later

Trying to get earlyaccesss? Lol

I'm just daydreaming over here lol

Besides whipped cream , anything you want me to pick up? Drinkses?

Ice cream?

I think I'm good thanks!

Oh, green grapes?

Seedless

😋

Oh for the love of hades

Have something to tell you

Oh noes

Oh nellie

Ermagerd

Fluckin ay

Summer down ya nut

We may have to pause early is all

Is L returning after the drop off?

L has to take SIL to an appr in ann arbor. They leave here at/just after 1130

Her appt is at 1300

They will eat

They are then returning circa 1530

Then they load up & leave for the weekend

I still want you today if i can have you

Just needs a pause or an early dismissal

I am eternally sorry for these nasty shenanigans

You think on that and i will be showering

Whatever you choose, know that i will make it up to you tomorrow

(:

So, still coming over later or did you want to hold off til tomorrow?

I will come over ... You lol

Today, even. If you'll still have me!

See above

Very much i want you!!!

Today i will not be lingeried, so you're not disappointed i am telling you now

Sorry, tax would be too high lol

It's all good babe

We can have fun disrobing each other

Mmmmmmmm okay!

Okay :)

Anything that would keep you from me today?

Dealbreakers?

Filthy house, unclean hair, messy bed top, cold....

L coming home even earlier is about it actually

Nope :)

But christbabyjesus they are still sleeping

!!!!!

Yep!

Do you think i have anxiety? If i hadn't told you, i mean. Would you notice?

I would not have yet

Thanks

Really though? That's odd to me

I'll let you know as soon as we're clear here, btw

But NOT YET

I didn't think anything until you appealed to the underworld lol

I thought I might part on front and pose as a political canvasser

Hahahahahahahahahaha

Anytime you want to start foresexxting is cool :)

Nervexcited over here

Babe?

Sorry one more fire popped up

Torally fine

And has been extinguished

Hurray!

What happened?

$&#&$&&$-" profit sharing

No worries
I am offline as of now

So the coast is clear?

Not yet

Did they remember to get dressed?

Oh ok lol

But you can bring your laptop... i conveniently have internet here

Maybe you SHOULD

FUCK THAT SHIT

No work

*personal laptop

For..... reasons

Ohhhh

Yeah?

Maybe

Lol

What on earth might we use it for?

The Internet is for porn
I heard that on the Internet lol

Weird 👾

Must be true though

You think you can calm and relax me maybe?

15 minutes and you can show up :)

Please text when possible

I am going to leave shortly and stop at Kroger

Okay, be safe

I will ping you from there!

Remember, don't maul me til the door is closed

Lol

Leaving driveway now

Migut enlist you in a chore lol

Wassup?

Not much, you?

Need anything at Krogé? I will be treading water soon

Nope, nothing

Im readyizh

Sexy ir resting

Need choice now plz

Choice?

Can I come over and play?

Yes

Yay! 🎉

Sexy or lazy

Choice?

Lazy

Does it work?

Yep

Lmk when you pull in

Okay 👍

I'm heeeere!

Ysy! One sec

Come on up to the porch whenever

Bon jour Madame!

2024-10-18T15:27:34

Love you! Here I am at Kroger again lol, finishing weekly shopping

Hahahahahaha

Love you too!

A thousand thank yous

I feel weird

I think it's good though

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All the cuties! Mwa! Mwa!

I want to make a literal list of firsts please :)

Let's do it! I think I started one at home lol

But you havent had any with me yet

Well I will look anyway lol

Okay

null

Lol

You should be proud of me... I just bought eye drops and dosed them in the car

Wonderful!!!! I have them in every room lol

I think this makes the third time in my life I've ever done that, and you saw the second

Yay! 🎉

How are you doing?

Very well. Seamless transition to the abode. The boys will be staying another night , which is actually perfect because it means the distractions create themselves and I dont have to

That's great!

How are you doing? Alone again?

I'm still a little fuzzled

Is there such thing as a sex hangover?

And fuck that ofc not. i am not for a few more hours

Onnnnnnnnne guess what he's doing rn

Running late lol

Obv but that's a constant with him

End of guesses?

Sleeping

I knew you were smart

You're kidding right

Not even a little bit

Im still allowed to go wherever. Too bad you have company

Cant you claim you need emergency drinking asylum?

Sometimes I wish I had developed a habit of drinking with the guys

For this reason

Same reason i wish i had friends

But at least maybe now i can clean for you

Wanna know one reason i was scolded upon his arrival?

Smells like sex?

Nope

You look tired

1. Dishes weren't all the way done
2. Laundry was in the middle of processing
3. I wasnt resting

Some trad wife you are

Sheesh

How do those 3 match up? And like, the laundry only goes so fast and.... whatever

Guess all the complaining made him tired hence the sleep. Again. More. Still.

I bet he does a lot of dishes huh

And laundry

Mmmhmmm

And grocery shopping

Cooking

General cleaning

I mean I'm a good tradwife

Maybe. You're a better tradslut for me though lol

Too far? Im sorry

A better compliment I have yet to hear. Thank you from the bottom of my dirty soul 😘😘😘

Of course

Hehe no not too far I love the hat

The hat
Yes
that

Okay theo

Ok I know I recommended this to you a while back

If you haven't heard it yet please put it on your list for tonight

https://open.spotify.com/track/3kKVqFF4pv4EXeQe428zl2?si=sRwCgyb4QLOCNHUb1HqY9w

You would like the lyrics :)

As do i

Want me to listen rn?

Sure

It's chill

Oh i already heard and read this one

Ok

It made me extremely melancholy

It makes me think of you

Lol fitting

Not because melancholy

But because sincerity

And caring

Theyre all related

Yes

Did you ever tell me why rlh is sex averse now? I know what happened that last attempt since you told me today (thank you)

I know a lot of it is because of chronic back pain. Her spine is legit fucked. But it was around that time she started getting legit mean as well. Paranoid. Projecting (more) about her insecurities. And that got steadily worse until now basically. Sex was one of first things to go

What are her insecurities?

Worthlessness

ADHD

But also, you're aware i have chronic unspecified pain that's mostly in my back, right?

And that

And that plus prob some 'tism

And you know some traumas

And she is internally very angry that she physically cannot do things she used to do. And lashes out with projection

Yes you told me about your pain

And believe me, I do not want to hurt you

You won't

Not even for a score or whatever

I respect you

Score?

I'm being intentionally crude here

and ironically

See she thinks I do things In order to make her life miserable sometimes

Because I don't care or whatever

Meds are helping

Sorry of

Sort of

She is just so wrong, but I literally cannot talk to her about it. We went over that a few days back

Sooooo

I try to coexist
But I don't feel like we're friends she and i

Not t right now

She is not a friend to me

In a way, this is a culmination of attitudes we've both been brewing for years. What changed is I'm not willing to capitulate the way I did before. Because she is completely manipulative and I'm not going to deal with that at her level any more

I understand and I'm so sorry. And in a very similar situation

When you have a minute, i have something i would like to share. Kind of off topic

What else would you like to say? Ask? Demand? Lament?

I'm good for now ty!

What you got?

It's kind of a lot of screenshots. I'll tell you when I'm finished sending. I wish i knew why i want to show you. I just do, idk

Ok!

null

null

null

null

null

Done

null

null

That's quite a rap sheet Missy

You've seen some shit

Kinda

Yeah

But you really think it's not great?

Not being glib

I think what I'm trying to say is that, this really isn't everyone's experience?

I'm guessing you have some idea of how many people have a transplant, let alone two or three, and an amputation, and a port,and ....

Uh no, this is not everyone's experience, babe.

But here you are

Such a sweetheart

So worthy

So smart

And funny

And talented

And dark and twisty lol

I think you're entitled to that

Besides, I like it

A lot of the time i wish people (*ahem af group ahem*) had even half the idea here

I try really, really hard most days

Just a little devil's advocate here

Do you wish that?

Do you want sympathy?

I believe you try hard

I believe you pull 2x your weight

Not sympathy, more like understanding

And it's twice as hard

Maybe recognition is the term?

But I'm not a brown nosing kiss ass who jumps up and claps like a circus seal every time i do a single task correctly

BRB in 5
Keep talking babe

It would be lovely if i could just be like "hey, my personal life beyond sucks and i feel worse than death today so i cant be 100x more or even half as much as my usual self cheerful as the rest of these dimwits who dont even pretend" because.... ow and stuff

I think i wanted to show you for a few reasons

One, i just laid out

I also dont ever think anyone believes me because i "look healthy" and i wanted you to 100% believe me because i want to share everything with you and a lot of my everything is basically unbelievable

Trains of thought keep running around my head for you

I never doubted you

And you know what I saw?

A lot lol

I was going to ask what you wanted me to clarify

And that's just my adult record

What specifically do you think I saw?

I will tell you, but I want to know what you think it was

Is it something like "still alive"?

That is part of it, yes! And I am so glad

😊

What's the other part?

Lol that's all?

Umm

Ok I will bail you out

,

That's a comma

😋

You lick commas?

You hesh lol

I didn't read them before i sent those

I have ideas of what i was worried would be weird

I saw a woman who is remarkably intelligent, deep, attentive, and is super hot and exiting!

And fml if she hasn't been through manglers for most of her life . She is made of tough.

100%

Thank you

And you have drawn me deeper into this canyon of abuse and illness and

By graces

Here you are still. So amazeballs

And you are so so so pretty!

And OMG hot

Omg thank you!

You keep saying abuse

Yes

You have been abused for many years

I don't know when that ended exactly

Do you find it odd that I say this?

Say which part?

The ultimate answer is no but it makes me wonder a lot

I keep saying abuse

To be clear, you have been abused

You are not abusing me

I understand what you were saying/say

I don't know how to explain that the abuse part is and is not clear to me

I might share some more stuff with you in this vein if that would be ok

You do not have to share anything babe

You have told me enough to know already, and it's ok

You can tell me this one if you want to though!

It's ok 😊

What i read in that is that i said too much and you hurt because of it and you'd rather i not share more

No no, you did not hurt me. I worded that badly. Srsly!

Please freely share anything

I am fine

How did my text come across though? The statement before the last one

It is totally cool! What is it you want to share in that vein?
100% want to know

Oh dang
Sister!

?

Oh hai lol

Yes I am smoking

And you are smoking hot

You're the most amazing person

You have no idea

Sorry, i was screenshotting

Love you too!

I felt it today

But maybe i say it to everyone

This makes me happy

Me too

You think i say it a lot?

Nope

Why?

I do not think you over say it

I like the way you are opening up to me, little bit by bit

Because I love knowing you

And you have so many layers

And I appreciate them all

You amaze me

I really appreciate that

I still dont really understand though

Do you know which "i love you" person you were for me?

I recall going over this. But I forgot the number

5

Youre the 5th ive told
The 6th who has told me
The 4th reciprocal love

Quite the Venn

Let me know when you want

A question or several (short)

The screenshots

To ask something

A statement of my own

Ohh! So I was correct?

Yep!

I thought you legit knew

Next choice?

Tell me a statement if you please!

Mind if i yell it?

Not a bit

Thx for the warning!

STILL FUCKING SLEEPING!!!!

(following up with more yelling but better)

I LOVE YOU SO FUCKING MUCH!!!

Apparently leaving will commence in the morning

I am kind of amused
But I'm also sorry you have to put up with this

null

Wild!

I love sleep

But wow

I am continually so, so let down by so much

But anyway, next choice?

This was your statement? Just trying to be clear

Oh nope, it was not

The sleeping thing was tho

Lol!

Please ask me anything

What was every item in your bag today? This isnt my only question

What you have there is literally what I bought at Kroger, round 1

Backpack

Receipt probably in there

Oh

Laptop, charger, mouse.

Permanent resident items:

Cordage

Pencils

USB cables

Rescue inhaler

Oh inhaler!

Boner pills ( since 2024-09-14)

Albuterol, yeah

Alka Seltzer or generic

What a coincidental date lol

Bits and bibst

Ikr,???

Bits and bobs o what?

Why didnt you take them?

It's just a curiosity

Boner pills you mean?

And do they make you feel any kind of way?

Yes

It was an experiment. Last time they kinda failed me. So I wondered if they were rh problem

And yet this is now inconclusive

Bc I wonder if they are expired

Ohhh

But still

Anyway

They feel like nothing at all

Which is wild

But if I get a boner, and entertain it a bit, I can really keep it going

I was thinking about doing this tomorrow

What do you think?

Am i putting too much pressure on you?

Not a bit babe

Press
On
Me

PRESS
ME
ON

LOL

Mental pressure silly boy

you good babe

No worries

And yes
Aha

Back in 5-10

I had a swarm of cats telling me something

"for we are all tiny and small, and we shall surely perish'

"soon"

Poor babies

My chonsters be hunnnngry too

I know that's true

How's L by comparison

What are we comparing?

Catses and doggo

I have a totally segue q for you

Ok!

Are you asking his size of appetite or self?

Maybe effort level

Idk

Gawd Im actually being sleazy. Nvm

and I keep forgetting the nitrile gloves

I will tell you everything you want to know

List them out

The questions

Will you have
My
Nitrile
Baby

Of course

Mt question is about the relative effort you regularly make between L and the pets

It's. A sleazy question though

Your first time - where did you cum?

When was the first time someone gave you oral? Where did you cum them?

Im open for the questions you want to ask. If you already asked then i didnt understand. There's almost nothing i won't tell you

Lol have you ever looped a * song radio" on Spotify?

If you mean used the feature for "songs like this" or whatever it says, then yes

Babe?

Sorry I got drawn into stepson convo

All is well

Washing my eyes now!

I'm so happy

Is everything ok

Yep

Thanks

Why are you happy?

Had a damn good day with my mistress

Cannot understate this

You're too much

Why else?

I keep thinking of and then forgetting the thing I want to say or ask

You are so special to me

Ditto a thousand times over

And there's no way for me to explain it. I dont have words. ME without words. I don't understand your dynamic and that's part of it

Literally incomprehensible

Why am i special to you?

So much delight and so much depth and so much pretty

I know no other like you

But how am i supposed to un puddle now?

I'm sorry :(

For what?

You are puddle girl now

In many ways

And yet you are a flame

If I go dark, don't worry

Just keep talking

Okay

If i ever hurt after you/us, do you want to know?

And you didnt answer my last batch

I want to know everything

Especially owie

Is it!

?

No

I thought i would be

Yay?

Is it?

So you actually think you feel me when i relax and stuff doing intimate internal things?

And is what yay? Not hurting? Kind of

You said no. Not hurting I hope???

I am not hurting.

Is that yay or not?....

...it's hard for me to say. I'll explain in a bit

Not hurting sounds good to me? Yay?

I'll tell you when I'm done with this series of thoughts about it...

I feel like i/it should hurt

It makes me realize that not hurting was almost always a possibility but i didn't know that

I also feel like i deserve it

OMG I thought of the thing I want to ask

Go

My bad knee

Will you kiss me there

Ohhhhhh yes

Please

I would cherish that

Is that why you keep kissing me at my most injured spots?

Idk

Not consciously

But now that i mention it?

It's a vulnerability for me. It's been a long time for me

It's probably so trivial for you

But I would feel safe

If you did that

A thousand times yes

Which is it?

Right knee

Thank you

Thank you!

Back to one more point about me being unsure of hurting being good or bad please?

Yes, please elaborate

It isn't a turn on, not really in any kind of good or concious way at least, but if i hurt really deeply (there are just some spots, i know happen all the time and where they are) then i get really wet and physically aroused. It's fucked, i know. I have 2 basic thoughts behind why my body does it. Make that 3 thoughts

Where are they?

In this order:

1. Less physical damage over alllllll those years

2. I convinced myself i was at least good for something and was wanted for at least one reason

3. Maybe when i had some damage control, things were miswired?

Literally in me. Up me? In the kitty cat cave of wonders.

Well

What is your preference,?

For what?

How do you look like being treated like a queen?

It's wonderful and it's confusing

Some days i think you are a literal hallucination and there's nothing that can prove you aren't

Lol

Just meeee

I need to ask

I'm actually embarrassed about this

Go ahead

I want to fuck you properly

I hate my issues

Why cannot I get hard?

It is weird for me

Maybe I'm too used to porn

Which is wacked

No pun intended

I'm not really proud of this, but maybe this is what I need to get foung

Going

Might be 5 - 10 afk

I was about to offer that as a solution actually

What is 5-10 afk?

Me rn

Oh, okay

Lol gotcha

Sorry, not my choice

No worries

I do have some deep pools as well. But I am kinda shallow dude. So kinda relative

Why do I dream so much about the place that

Like a river that supposedly I know

Been there a hundred times

Backward and forward

Get this lol

I find something new every time

So

Satisfying

Will be back soon!

I lost you a little

In the pools

But hey, once you tell me about that i have good news :)

Yay!

What news?!

Yes I fell deep in your pools of delight

And I am so happy

I feel kind of embarrassed asking for porn. Ngl

How do you mean with me and pools? Please say more

I have literally never felt that blissful

And.... the good news!

I've wanted to watch porn with you from the get go. I thought that was really clear!? I want it so, so much

And it'll be a first since i didn't ever watch the ones you very kindly sent me

And i am almost always pro-med in any case, jsyk

Ohhh babe i hope you didn't fall asleep but totally fine if you needed it

Nope I am

Hieeeee

Lol

Is that still part of tomorrow's plan?

If you like!

Yes to high
Yes to porn
Yes to everything

Ok!

You are such a goer

I want it

With you

I will insist on being your mommie when I am around

Yeah

I will take care of you

Anything you need

I dont know what that means

Just tell me anything you e

I might be a little hovering

Did i miss a word?

Yes
Need

Oh okay

Why would you hover?

Bc I love you

I'm full on romantic now babe

I'm blushing

For real

And aroused

https://open.spotify.com/track/3P0KuuB3mwx0ToMj7tEI38?si=JG2iQG3aQjWlOAVsI2gJ3w

Want some symbolism?

Yes!

Today i felt like all.sorts of amazing feelings were passing through me like a moravian star at my core. Literally and figuratively

I love that I turned you on

Thank you

You do it all the time

Moravian stars are lovely, spectacular!

I knew they would be

The moravian star is a dodecahedron. Did you know that? It also has 26 points

Letters and numbers together like that

And really solid but also fragile when made of glass, all depends on how it's treated

Sorry sorry sorry phone died

Anyway ...

null

Minus jesus of course

But i think innocent and inexperienced and pure are all applicable in some form, esp today. And light and dark and all that

https://chatgpt.com/c/671329cf-2cd4-8007-b780-452c7ff2b1b0

So cool!

I do love you so

Your chat wouldnt load :(

The chatgpt

I shall try again!

https://chatgpt.com/c/671329cf-2cd4-8007-b780-452c7ff2b1b0

Can we talk about today more?

Still a no loading error

Yes!

I'm sorry

Can you screenshot?

Yes! One sec

1/?

Okay

null

null

null

Thanks!

So. Today's escapades

Mmm hmmm?

Where did you look most of the time?

And please describe what you saw. Everything. All of it

Hai

Happy 0000!

You, too!

Ok

I focused most on your face and environs, and your pussy

Many other things that I was fond of as well

Can you please say more? I want to be in your brain for this knowledge

I dont care how silly or stupid or shallow or sleazy it sounds. Use whatever words come to you

Yes

One moment

You are intoxicating to me

It's such a sweet and powerful and wonderful thing

I've never felt wanted like you want me

And you are so perfect
In spite of all your challenges

So admirable

So adorable

I hope you could feel what my face wanted to say when i was somewhere else

Can you tell me everything about that?

Yes

Thank you

You were profoundly relaxed

Yes

So at ease

Yes

And I was near you, or on you

Really?

Yea

What do you mean?

Literally on you at times

Or across you

Why dont i recall that?

Idk?

I remember some of them

And you were placid

Yes

And saw Moldavian stars

Omg

You

Yes

I tasted ungreat today

Says who?

I would use the term Acrid. Or Sour.

I spent a lot of time you know

There? Yes

But you're also very kind

You spent a very, very long time doing things with your fingers

And I'm not exaggerating to say I would do it again a thousandfold

Your fingers is what interests me most rn

Oh wait

That sounds bad

I was switching subjects

Because i have more questions about them and their doings

How did you do it?

Do what? Make you come with my fingers?

Such perfection and feeling i didn't even know it could happen

Yes

The first time

I put my middle finger inside you and licked across your lips

Im squirming at that

Where I thought your clit might be

You have large pussy lips.
So.fucking.sexy

And you guided me to the place inside you, curled up and back "out" with my middle finger

You loved that both times I fingered yoy

That made me roll my eyes back in my head

I do love that

An insane amount

You werevery peaceful for perhaps 90 minutes

How long did i take to climax?

Oops I left out a part

First time, idk, 20 minutes? Not actually counting

Second time

Maybe 15

Wow

Are you sure?

Found a really special spot for you !

Yay!

Can i know more?

Yes!!!

What can I tell?

Well first, about this special spot

Oh yes

Is that a long time, btw?

For me personally, at the long end

Not way out

Im sorry

But i loved it

Were your wrists or whatever basically broken by the end?

Lol not at all

No apology please

Not accepted

Same to you then

Lol

And in spite of your apprehension, I found a sec and magical place on you!

Kinda wondered about that. Couldnt quite figure out how to ask

Ohh it was really magical

I have no idea if that's sarcasm

No!

Not

It truly was

Because?

Do you remember asking me an embarrassing question

I think all of mine are embarassinh

And you spread your legs

Oh! That one

You with me?

Yes

And I found your clit

Yes

So sweet and pretty

And your pussy has her perfectly in protection

So beautiful

And when I licked you just so,

Ohhhhhh

Was that the first time you had touched her at all?

What happened if you licked her perfectly?

Oh no, I was all over your pussy a month ago

I recall

Mostly

When I licked in newfound place, it seemed sublime for you

Yes, it was

Entirely something new

🥰

I thought i hated her being touched

She likes delicate

Yes

 ​❤️​ to “ Yes ” 

You were so, so gentle with me

It's respect for you!

But fun and gentle dont have to be the same at all

And i feel like i have maybe been enjoyable but not fun yet for you

I think we proved that one

Nooooo

What awful timing of my comment!

Lol

I still want to cum again and again

Like now

🥰 I love making you come 🥰

When you touched my clit, could you feel her on your side of things?

It was so, so delicate of you

She is so delicate

I was a little surprised how big she can be !

So pretty!

And then I gently sucked her

Ohhhhhhhhhh yessssss

I liked that. A lot. You know this.

Yes

I am literally moaning for you

Soon, babe. Soon

I want to give you all the things

I want to give them to you

There was something else kind of new and i dont know if you did it purposefully

I liked it, just dont know if you know what i mean

You asked me an "embarrassing question"

And then I found your clit

This is something else, silly boy

Oh sorry!

Is that a no, then?

I'll tell you when you want

I liked or loved everything

And i love you

And am tranquil with you and that's impossible

null

I hope i get to enjoy you again in a few hours!

Yes allllll your meds

Yes haieeeeee

Yes porn. All day long maybe

Yesssssss you

Make sure i know when you're ready to hop over please, maybe with some foreknowledge

2024-10-19T06:26:19

Good morning!

2024-10-19T07:42:30

Hallo!

How are you?

I am feeling good

What an insanely hot pic!

How was the 0200 viewing?

Ohhhh thanks!

Might have another...

But you wouldn't want it, now, would you??

I want it
Now

null

Holy fuuuuck

Hahaha 🤣

Your ass is so fine

You still want to come over maybe?

Thank you!

You can lay me face down, ass up, spread what you need to,and head to pound town....

Eventually

Oh fucccck

Maybe you slide a digit or 2 or 3 in and see how much of a waterfall you get

Just a casual suggestion

Your butt is heart-shaped! ♥️

For you ❤️

Aww

Ty

Feel welcome to grab and grip

I will

Hey btw

STILL SLEEPING

!!! Lol

Not kidding

I havent even been upstairs since you left

Oh?

Is that strange?

Did you sleep?

Yeah a few times

I have recliners in the living room

His room is messier than fuck and SIL is downstairs so there was limited sleep space

Your room?

What about it?

What's wrong with it?

He's sleeping in there

Oh ffs lol

Right

I'll be scolded for "manic cleaning" and not sleeping even though neither is true

Good grief lol

"you clean too much!"

Yes

Very literally

When i ask for help it's either weaponized incompetence from him or " I'll clean my stuff when it bothers me, any of your stuff maybe I'll just throw away so there isn't anything to be messy anymore"

Sorry

But i WAS trying for you

I still need to shower, try and clean my room, and WAKE THEM UP, and i was going to run a quick trip for ny friend but omggggggggg

I am sorry you have to put up with that

Sounds like a lot of "rules for thee, not for me"

And a lotttttttttt more like that

But you know what i started thinking a while ago at one point?

I am a fucking catch

Decently attractive, i cook and bake, i sew and crochet, I'm handy with fixing stuff, know how to travel, kinda really smart, financially savvy, i do well with kids and pets, slutty, prim and proper....

Yknow?

I know some of these things :)

You're smoking hot

Fuckkkkkk

I hope you mean that

Hell yes I mean that

And i have lots of orally-driven skills!

Polylinguist here!

And I'm sure there's other things i could figure out

Haha I'll say!

Am i yiur best at that yet? No lying please

Note i said YET

Kind of an unfair question

See I think you are by far the most skilled

And when I come I will know it

Would you be interested in an anonymous pic of me?

Unidentified, rather

Yes?

Mine are kind of anonymous above

Also.... still noonish?

null

See I can do this!

Lol

Ohhhhhh fuckkkkkk

That's porn hot dick right there

Oh! Thank you 😊

I'm dead serious

You'll top out again

And i lovvvvvvvvve that

I want to do it for youuuu

But what about for youuuuuu?

Really

Well that too

So you will or won't enjoy that?

Enjoy what exactly? Cumming in and on you? Yes

Ohhhhmygod

That gave me such a ruah

Rush

I meant topping out

I dont know if you can feel it

Inside you? Like hitting your cervix?

Yeah

I didn't notice that, kinda surprised actually

You felt it though?

It's unmistakable

Some hate it. I love it

Yeah I've read plenty of comments from girls that say it's painful. For you, how is it?

I am so excited for you to look in my eyes when you cum. Mine go crqzy and i want to seeeee youuuuuu in that place

It's like a game reset for me

Yessss

I shiver

I tingle

I meant when you hit it lol

Any time you want to wake me up with that insanely cute ass you are welcome to do so

We should really get you your own copies

Yummm

I'd like that

What do you plan on the plan being?

My hair was clean but now has a lot of product in it. Do you want me to rewash it?

Sexy, cozy, dressy, casual...? Fashion choice please

And how many articles you'd like to remove

How about something sfw on the outside, super sexy underneath. Around 10 items if that works. Don't worry about your hair unless it bothers you

Just didn't want you to have your hands feel gross if you grab and pull it

Is noon or a little after still ok?

Yeah no sweat

Okay awesome

Still having a bit of an overstaytuation here

Do you know how long you can stay?

Several hours I imagine.

I should probably leave around 1730

Aww sad but okay

Is before noon a possibility if i can swing it?

You can always say no

If I can get my ass in gear lol

Mmmmmkay

I was going to head somewhere but will stay here and wait if you think you might be able to escape sooner

If you need or want to go somewhere that's cool

Your call

I'll be alone & ready in about 15, maybe 20

1130 is about as early as I can do

ooOOOo!

Yay

So you tell me a time

I am free all day

Realistically I'd say noon

Sure, no sweat

That makes it easier for me actually

Do you want food as soon as you get here?

No I will be fine, but maybe later!

Okay, cool

If i need extra time I'll let you know

Straight upstairs again?

Lol more or less :)

Lol okay

Need any furniture?

What size shoe do you wear?

1230 would help me calm down a touch if that's ok?

Sure!

Thanks! 🙂

I wear a men's 9.5

Thanks!

If you're out somewhere I can meet you if you want

Nope I'm good but thanks

Fiiiine lol

You can if you want but I'll make you wait downstairs while i get ACTUALLY ready

And i kight jave a puece of furniture lol

How's it going?

Good! Just found some things at habitat for humanity

On my way to you now?

Yeah??

!

You should have habitatted me!

I need maybe like 10 extra minutes? You can prob head over now but you might beat me there lol

Door is open

Thoughts babe?

Other than that i have poor time management skills

And im sorry too

But I'm loke 5ish monutes from home

And i love you!

null

Ok I'll be there right after you

Are you mad?

*how mad are you?

Am home

Come on in, not up

2024-10-19T17:54:51

Thank you again, infinitely

Bear is sad you dont love him

null

Aww! I love you too

And you too Bear

I love you too

Everything copacetic?

Copa!

All is well

Ty

Ty a thousand times for today!

Nopenopenope the thanks is all for you

 ​❤️​ to “ Nopenopenope the thanks is all for you ” 

null

You're missing the lovefest!

And I'm sorry for falling asleep. I dont recall much immediately before then. Or how i got to the other side of the bed

Might need a play by play

For realsies

You are nothing short of amazing 🥰

Thank you, but i do not understand. I didnt do anything today

Not being humble, just how i actually feel

Nope. I love the way you love me

I do love you. A thousand ways and more

But i dont feel like I've shown it enough

My little pleaser 🥰

You please me so much. And there is more to come!

I so, so, so hope so!

Btw, i have Brian Greene The Hidden Reality or Until the End of Time or The Elegant Universe (i actually think i have 2 of those) in a box around here somewhere

I think Light Falls: Space, Time, and an Obsession of Einstein was the one i saw today

Sweet!

null

Pretty rad label

Ain't it tho?
I love that

What else are you up to?

Oh! New experience notice!

General improvements to the hobby area

Nice nice

What is the new experience?

Probably more than one honestly, but one for sure...

I came without being under the influence of anything

Well i mean, except you

Haha! And how was that for you?

It was awesome

And still very confusing

I should warn you that i aleeady have blank spaces in time from today and there will be more in the next few days. I wiuld love if you could remwmber things for both of us

Ok :)
No worries

Literally dozens of times today so far

I am broken

Most you had in me at once?

Fingers? Yes! Yummy two!

Just 2??

This time

I kinda gave them to you all at once. Was that ok?

Yes

It felt like more

Have you ever had more than that in me?

Nope. Today was the graduation from one to two

Because damn you were sooo wet

Yeah

It kept going lol

How did you feel at 2?

Today or last night?

Lol oh yeah!

Both!

At 0200

And at 2 fingers

Lucky as hell

You are such a hottie!!

Omg stoppppp

But also don't ;)

Any thoughts pr feelings at 2 fingers?

You were surprisingly wet
Refreshing even

So fun to taste

And you relaxed quickly

I didnt taste like yesterday

And then you gave me 3 or maybe 4 floods over 10 minutes or ao

Have i hurt you at all and when and how do i fix that?

No you tasted much less tart. I have enjoyed all

No!

Those floods feel amazing to me too

You have not hurt me

Not in the least

Where is the question coming from?

I dont control a thing about flooding or any kind of wetness. Not sure if you're aware of that

Answering next q now

Because of perhaps "blueballing" you. Being uncomfortable/too closed off for you on your tip when you would get all the way in was a thought i had.

Because i have a small, sometimes very dry mouth and sharp teeth on occasion

Because i never ever want to hirt you

At no point did you hurt me. Didn't happen :) 100% fact

And didn't blueball me either

I was thinking about that earlier actually

Thanks :)

I feel 80% like I got laid, and that is fab! I want everything of course!

I think that's good? I mean..... you DID, right?

What else is everything?

When I get to come with youuuu ♥️♥️♥️

Am i correct that you haven't finished your marathon with me yet?

I feel so stupid asking but dont know how else i would make a determination rn

What do you mean by marathon Missy?

It's a good thing

Crossed your finish line

Marathons take dedication and endurance and support and hydration lol

I am NEVER trying to make you feel badly

Oh right!
No I am not done with you chérie

null

Many tomatoes died here

Many more dried here

Many more were eaten ALIVE

2 new questions:

Can you tell me what happened between me laying a normal way in bed with you getting me off verrrry intensely and me waking up in front of you & facing the window?

(Saw pic, yikes! & lol)

Did you watch me sleep and for how long?

Being done with me and my question are not even close to the same but ok?

I have biological questions now

I can tell you the bed story!

We fucked for quite some time on the East side of your bed. You had a pillow under your butt.

You were so fucking hot

And eventually you came -- I do not know how many times

A lot. A lot a lot. And when i thought i would ramp down they got more intense. Stacked.

And I flipped to the other side of you

And you were cold so I covered us

And we slept for perhaps 30-60 minutes

For real

And I was holding you and it was magical

And you were so dreamy and quiet

So calm

So serene

Wow

Really sweet in a way that makes me want to celry

Cry

And eat celery apparently lol ol

That was long fuck period one

Thank you for that

I have zero recollection of some of that. I dont like lapse in memory storage but they happen

Why would you want to cry?

Because thinking about it now makes me have feels

Can you identify them?

I long for it

I want this one

I feel so happy

Same

How do you know i came/havent faked?

Not a trick

I want to know how you know. Sometimes you knew and none of you was in me

Hmm
First, I don't assume you have a reason ti

Ti

To ffs

Second
I have seen girls come for real

But yours is not like othera

How do you mean?

The slow build up is familiar
The guidance is perfect
And then it's like you fall right out of your body

You climax so differently than what I have even known, even in porn lol

Maybe that's not so surprising though

I know what it is to feel paralyzed after coming

After a 8 or 9 or 10 ,out of 10. Fucking sweet

I know that place and I see you there times 100

I hope I got that kinda right

Yes

You genuinely seem like you let go

I am so pleased to bring you there

You maybe don't know how happy that makes me

I wish i knew how you see me when im there

I stop hearing real noise. I can't make sense of my eyes. I feel reverberations in every molecule of me

I really don't move

I need weight or pressure kind of urgently sometimes to help

Yah you asked me to lay upon you on our first night

I kinda did that today, sitting on you so I could kiss you and play with you your boobs

And then lo and behold

Someone has a wet pussy

Verrrrrrry wet

None of that was your cum, correct?

Much as I wish it were, no

All you

Well with a teeny bit of slippery strawberries

Pretty buzzed here and not necessarily making the best decisions, but people like me find amateur couples porn really hot

Feel free to shut this conversation down if it's not cool. I will not be offended or anything

It's just a fantasy

null

For science

I am a little lost.... what about porn?

It's a drunk question asking if you have any interest in making it

Full disclosure: I know next to nothing

And you can just say no, and I will respect that

The short answer is yes

Longer.... i have to see it first so i know what all can jeoparsizijf moment

No vlue what that word is

I am cery very tired

Lololol

Kiss kiss baby

You should sleep

Yes please

And I hope you have sweet dreams

null

I am thinking of you

It's an axolotl

^^^ Your butt looks like

♥️

I♥️ axolotl

Mmmmmmm ofc

I love you

I love you too beebee!

2024-10-20T08:13:28

Good morming to my favorite love muffin!

null

Dis how i woke up

And i had this shallow tool thing if you wanted it

Chonskypup for scale

null

2024-10-20T10:11:34

🥰🥰🥰good morning 🥰🥰🥰

I slept in a bit!

Yay! 🎉

How ya doin?

I'm still waking up lol

So far so good

That's good!

When i said "oh, inhaler!" Yesterday it was because tou saying that reminded me why i wasnt feeling great/how i could help myself. Lol. So thanks for that

Hahaha

Happy to help a girl out

Oooooohhhhhhh i know

I feel like you do too

So sweet!

My dude - you felt me come even when it was just out of nowhere, me laying under you

You. Know.

null

I sure did!

Hiee cuties!

Impossible skills, you have

https://open.spotify.com/track/1azxOUjt2VSjhqRvgRDryg?si=QpCUvKsWR-i3BE4X_yT8cA


You might enjoy this

2024-10-20T13:00:12

Will listen soon, thanks!

What are you up to?

Trying to fix some wiring
Just found out I have a bigger job than I expected

Not totally surprised given my other experiences in this house lol

You out and about?

Lol obviously

One guess what i did

And now headed home to cleeeeeannnnnn

Wanna come over?

I'd even shower before i see you

I do want to, yeah

Studio Killers is good cleaning music btw

I need to fix this wiring

Do you for real want to come over?

You have been... Um... Shopping

What!?

Crazy talking

WhaaaaT lol

I know

I want to come over but I'd have a hard time making a good excuse to disappear

Completely up to you

If you were ever free on, say, a Wednesday, I could literally take every Wednesday off till the end of the year with days to spare

What a coincidence!

Wow!!

That's my favorite day to not work

And not have a spouse around

How about that lol

Does L go to the office much?

Requosite 3 days /week

0730 to when he leaves.... supposed to be 1745 but sometimes earlier

You said nothing of my lovely tooltray! Thought of you at an inanimate object and everything

As an aside, you headed to a store today?

The tool tray --yes! That is perfect

To store idk but probably not

Yay! Want me to spray paint anything for you?

Sure! Is it metal? Looks like maybe it is

null

It IS metal!

Lovvvvvvve that arrangement

What could i have done yesterday to have it all be better?

Nothing is not an acceptable answer, neither is your outcome because... well, i am looking for sex improvement

I mean self.... lol

And i have an embarassing q

I honestly dont know what to tell you

Embarrassingly for me, maybe some porn would help

It's not you
It's me

We *will* figure this out

It sucks, but I'm okay with it, honestly

And i thought we already decided for porn? I was kind of excited for that yesterday

Sure sure! I didn't think of it at the time. Not my usual thing to think about when I'm actually with someone

Oh really?

I thought you were supposed to watch as a couple or something together

What did you do while you were waiting for me?

Idk if there's any "supposed to" in porn, but I think watching together would be much better than watching alone

RLH will not have it.

Not that I care

I talked to the cats and doggo, did my word puzzle

As long as we set basic expectations :)

Looked around a lot
Talked to cats more

Totally cool with basic expectations

Do you have any to set?

Any ground or house rules absolutely respected

No violence

I assumed you would be selecting them. I want to give you that power

Thanks
"Nothing that grosses me out"
No hitting
No poop

No peeing on people

Lol

Nothing to worry about

I will show you what I do

And ofc in the unusual event you find something objectionable, just say the word and it's blacklisted

I'll tell you who makes some of the best porn ... Women. 100%

All good, thanks

And I'm not put off or surprised

I'm kind of semi bi, if that's a label

Omg these animals arent feeding me nearly wnoigh

*enough

Lol animals!!

Women make nice things because guys are often just crude, and that doesn't do it for me

I agree

Bur there are some guy things i love too

For sure. I'm generalizing

Yes

But some things they do that i like, i know you do not

Side thought: can i wash brass?

I think so? Baking soda and scotch Brite?

Rephrase: can i put water on it?

The google says yes basically, or can be made shiny again later

I still haven't been fed

Water? Surely
They make plumbing fittings out of brass you know

Do I need to feed you???

I did not know that

I just need to know what i would like to forage

Here's a fun one

https://open.spotify.com/track/1CqxOjuPOhhocpgdfFsdMx?si=cLBV4hAmSK6PK0YPGZZe4Q

Sappy but true

Aww

You're getting good at this

I actually am good at this. Just not always appreciated for it lol

Hmmmm

Twins??

Again

♥️

null

But anyway

Food

And shorts

Oh. And inhaler

2024-10-20T18:12:02

Hi sweet babe

Whassaap?

Fell asleep kinda

How bout you?

Oh I thought you went foraging lol

You must be ravishing

Lol

Lol. Some adjective or another

I've been very productive. Mending wiring hither and you

Yon

Yon dammit. Hither and yon

null

Not dither, too? Or thither?

Do you or rlh use candles in glass containers?

null

Yes we do

Candles

What do you do with the glass thing when youre done?

Nothing comes to mind. I bet there are many containers in this house with candle scraps in them

Related: I found a pound of tea candles

Which is cool because I like to keep a couple for tools

May i have the glass things? Please. Whatever condition.

Tea lights? Like little wedding centerpiece ones?

Yes 👍

For tools as what?

Sure if I come across them. I think there's one in the bedroom actually

Going forward etc

I keep them for a lubricant and rust prevention

Ohhhh the wax

I thought flame

Well the flame is useful, I guess. We'll consult the cave man later on that.

Nah it's cool

But not lol

Come clean?

Plz

on what?

Verb clean

Oh lol I thought I was confessing something

Verb come too

Do you have a confession?

Aux verb

🤔

Ok I did it

What is it?

Not telling

Please,

?

Sadddddddd

You want a Schaefer beer brand circle tray?

Assahammanah?

I'm not telling

I said please!

Oh poor baby I fell in love with you

Awww damn. I did the same thing with you

Harrumph
What now

Already thinking about next rendezvous

That's an excellent thought i hope

Lol.... got these today. How apropos

null

My girl is ready to light some candles

Hahahahaha not quite but you mentioned tea lights

I have a fat sack

Ummm

Yes, kind of

Of tea lights

It's not really
But it is maybe 40?

I think i have the same ome

*one

You have ideas for the next rdv already?

Go on, excite me!

I know it exists

But I have not located it yet

To which are you referring?

Rdv, as you say

I wish it was in like 30 minutes

If you can get here and leave witjin an hour then i say we rdv

:(

I can't!

I know

I'm going bowling honey!

Yay!

null

Imma get me some cichlids!

Nedd a ratchet set? How about wrenches?

Interestjng!

I may take you up on that offer ma'am

Get some arachnids

I happen to habe the tools in my possession as of today lol

null

Ohhhhh

Plus they are cool

They are!

I also adore fancy goldfish

And this thank is actually kinda perfect

Did you know I've paid $60 for a goldfish?

I did not!

How much have you paid for porn?? No judgement

null

I will tell you € bear with me

Ooooooh

null

Yum!

null

Ok what now
Porn ,¥

What are you electrolysing?

Yessssssss

null

Ok let me think

So first, I literally paid for porn the first time in Jan 2023. That is correct

Now
What do you think the number is
Guessing is compulsory for the explanation to proceed

null

Your guess?

null

Ok I really need a guess now
Audience participation is required

Sorrysorrysorry!

500?

Miss

Ohhhhh um no

Only saw the first pic

Yeah lol

Add a zero?

Nah

290 to-date on OF and all subscriptions cancelled

Why cancel?

Plus last year I think I did a 30$ trial of a female-produced outfit

And I paid a girl $20 for her online folder she was only asking 10

Now what

Why cancel

To try and sum it up, I will try

It's not straightforward

I also dont really know what any of that jargon meant

Which bit

You can explain to my face or my.... lips, later

Okay

Lol

I just totalled porn for you

Expenditures

Mmhmmm

Thank you

Do you count nights in hotels with mistresses?

No. Why should I?

Not porn

True

But coulda been

I will count it as (personal) work. Not porn. Big difference

You know how much porn i watch, right?

That's a zero, I understand

Yes

You wanted to know

I surprised myself, twice lol

What else surpised you?

The same fact surprised me twice. 1805 at OF last year

I *am* a good tipper

But anyway I quit subbing

You asked about that

Here I am

Rocking you like a thunderstorm

Yes

And i want more

Always

No love for color dots though

:(

Huh?

I missed something

Bump!

Oh! I didnt understand

That really is fantastic!

I have a lot ot labels from my labelmaker lol

Beep beep!!

Haiiii

Lol

Yes

And my paint pens are my good friendses

Lovely! I need to get some

I only have mettalic rn

A zillion colors of sharpie though

Sharpie is a bff too!

Omg take some!

null

So now I owe you something
And I shall be happy to compensate in any way you wish

What question have I not answered?

Why do you owe me something?

And what is the pic of? I couldnt figure that out

Also.... l just got home so meh

Oh my poor bebe

And he is upstairs now

Before he relegates fo the basement

Ok so he doesn't need to possess your room

Not this second i guess

Or talk to mw

But anyway, back to you

Hieee

Yes?

Oh yeah the dot shot was a shit shot no context retake to follow

Yeah sorry one second

I'm

Oops

Spotify stopped and it's like my world sort of turned off

Very odd

Huh

null

I'm back!

Yay!

Now what was it?

Why do you owe me anything?

Are you aware my name is on this kroger bag?

Lol I am now!

Is it so?

NOT my handwriting

null

Very convenient lol

OMG that is totally rlh

Hahaha

Well i wiped it out do it's clean :)

Ty

I wipe down every bag every time

You are a better woman than I am

Thank you 🙂

I know I should

Well, kinda no immune system

But again, you owing me??

I know what I need to do. For sanitizing

Right!

So I totally owe you something!!!

What is it???

Make me pay!

Make me pay dearly dear

But why do you think tjis

I know!

Why did I quit

OF

INNIT

And if you say "oh yeah", you might be a stoner

Nipe

Am still confused

https://open.spotify.com/track/6rYgEHuyhO064Lgj48qlIe?si=1rByC3gbSvimejIgORhCsw

I just found my night!

I will absolutely keep to the backseat from now on

What do you mean?

Lyrics, my boy

Back seat girl prefers what?

Maybe that is the answer lol

Have you used a backseat for such shenanigans?

No, sadly

Oh really?

Then this happened

https://open.spotify.com/track/49oNAMh9RBScs4HXZJgvgl?si=_-Bt6XJGSmKae63kgjrqbg

Truth

Well.... take me there

That one brings me to tears straight up

No!

If you ever want to make me cry,

Why would i?

It's fun sometimes

Ish?

I still want to from you

In a lot of the ways

Do you understand what i mean?

Your statement no verb

Press any key!

I (subject) still (temporal indicator) want (assist verb) to (explicit infinitive) [deictic referent of infinitive for "cry" as stated above] from (subject object linking preposotion) you (object ( of my affection))

I totally missed the deictic reference.
Impressive reduction!
I so love you head to toe

And i, you

Except for me I literally mean toe

Am I horrible?

I can diagram it out too, the phrase

OMG

You get me right

Obv

And I would never intentionally hurt you

I dont want you to

Oh no I didn't kill you did i

Kinda yesterday

Not just now

Nope

But i still have questions about yesterday

Lol

Always morw

Not resentful about my swipe just a few minutes ago

?

No, thought it was hilarious. Something i wouldve said

Ty for clarifying

Ok
Yesterday

Because I did not come for you

I would guess

What about that?

Have you seen my plot? I seem to have lost it
How can I help?

Do you know what things you've said (while we're naked) that have made huge differences to how i respond and interact? There are a few

I would love to know

I love cuddle time

Pre or post? Whicb do you like better?

Bam

This girl hits hard in the feels

https://open.spotify.com/track/0tduSYti0mY7p8j5AIO4Pg?si=Z54S73KYTwerWtmjuufM5Q

I can't choose!0

Pretty is raw excitement

Post is pure feels

I'm melting a little bit

Because?

As a note, i would like to try something with the cuddles next time

Emotional triggers are abundant in Girl In Red's music

Hmmm
I sarcastically wonder who that could possinly appeal to

No need to be sarcastic. I don't think of anyone in particular. But I still feel it strongly

I'm saying it because it's me

And no judgement request to know what you were thinking of

Oh lol!

Thought that was obvious

Yes
It's me too

Do you actually cry a lot?

No, not a lot

And I'd say 75 % of the time it's self -induced via intentionally listening to trigger music

Maybe once or twice a month

Why do you do it?

"It's fun" lol

I like to feel I guess

And I feel better after

Calmer

It's a release, !

Yes

And i want you to make me cry in a few ways for the same reasons

Ty!

Ty

Yeah of course

But you already knew this

Well
♥️♥️♥️
I am yours

Well that's weird, because i am yours

I'll be fading soon, but can we char about one more thing first?

Yes
Yes ofc bebe

Can you tell when, if, or how or where or whatever I've been physically hurt in your presence?

Psst - i can see that you read the last message. I'm not trying to tricanytu

*not trying to.trick you

I know of no such time

Thanks

Is it accurate?

Not really but there's also nothing you've really done to inflict any oww

One part for you to know is that i always hurt. Always.

I will need you to be more specific

I have chronic paim syndrome.and fibromyalgia and peripheral neuropathy

My whole body always always hurts, so everyone who has ever met me has seen me be in pain. Pretty bad pain

I am sorry for that

And what I can do to take it away I will do

I thought you knew that about me ?

You did say so. It's been a while

I am confused about this

Given it is not accurate to say that that you have been physically hurt in my presence, and

Nothing I really did made oww

Then what happened in my presence that is noteworthy?

Not doubting, just trying to understand


Nvm 🥰

Sweetest dreams for now!
Ttyl

Sweetest

2024-10-21T06:36:39

Good morning

Hieeee!

Do we have to work today?

I think so

Attend the profession at least

"Work"..... meh

Lol

How doing?

A bit sleepy, but good!

How are you doing

Kind of same

But also motivated to accomplish things

Yay!

Anything going on for you today?

Nuthin honey

Then what are you choosing to do to occupy your time?

While I'm not pretending to work?

Yes (and same)

Wait.... maybe same?

Feeding cats apparently lol

AM pretending to work

Not not pretending

Wordseses

Brain.exe has failed

Da

What's the tallest thing that your escapemobile can fit? Like, say, a bookshelf

(Or maybe 2 people, for science of course)

I'm not actually sure. I know I've put 8' boards in it

Perhaps a 6' shelf?

I can also escape 2 people

2 mostly flat and stacked backseat people??

For science

Btw, still no BU insurance info. At. All.

Might need to be a little creative with positioning, but yeah

Gotcha

Importantly, people must be very close together

Well i hear some women get bendy in the right mood and setting

They'd have to basically nest in one another, i imagine

Come together, even

How poetic!
Sounds beautiful

Plus my bubblz has blankets in case people get cold

Psht. Who gets cold in that situ--

Oh wait. Damn. Lol

Maybe she could use another one that's nice and fluffy to smooth out the ride a little

Hey wait a sec

Are you suggesting something

Only the nicest nice people would tend to someone cold and post coital

Oh well now youre brazenly suggesting we have intimate encounters in my pure vehicle?

Yep

I forgot to take my meds yesterday. Ugh. Vertigo creeps

Ohh that sucks! What do you take for it? Have you ever done PT or OT to help?

It's only a thing when I skip a day of effexor and then take a regular dose

It's not bad so far but I feel it at the base of my skull. It's weird

I just ate and that might help keep it at bay

What was food?

And where is mine!?!

Cereal, bran flakes, with milk, organic, pasteurized

C'mon over I'll feed you

Eh. Kinda doing stuff. And not lol. And it would be so much work

Heyyyyyyyyy

Hieeeeee

What's up?

Just you

Am i?

You am

Not even sure what me being up might entail lol

Do anything yet? Esp without any profit sharing networktivity

Oh there's a barrage of emails rn about profit sharing

You looking at them?

Or just flipping through pics of me, lol

I don't have any more pictures of you. I need more!

Sounds like a YOU problem with a pretty obvious YOU solution lol

What else are you doing?

I just doctored my eyelids. They're in rough shape. Lotion burned going on. Eye cry.

Thinking about the fish tank in the basement

I want to excavate it and see what all I've got in there

Might be prehistoric fish still swimming around, who knows?

My boots came! I need to try them on

Hey boots, start walkin! Lol

Some kinda nuclear fish at this point

Dang these boots are going to walk all over me lol

Drole

My newish aloe has flower buds!

Oh cool! I didnt kmow aloe flowered

I didn't either lol

null

You're sure that's an aloe?

Looks like a little anake plant kinda

Guess i forfeit and go feed myself

Nope not snek plant

Ugh. Not feelin it

Now mildly better

What made the difference?

Food

Hadnt eaten today

Da

Well someone kept promising to bring it to me since i wasnt really well enough to go get it but it is what it is and i managed to not keel over from stomach pain today

Someone? To bring to your room?

Well office but yeah

Something stramge just happened

Your cat started answering phone calls?

Actually, the system has had a lot of for real issues today so it's fine

No. Went downstairs to get food. While I'm about to come back up, the garage door opened and there was L with some food

I guess he went out??

Better check the car for sidechicks

Lololololol9l9l

Heh!

You doing anything after work?

Monday chores

What does that mean?

Excavating aquarium

Maybe hardware store for a couple things

And i feel like such a jerk for not asking already: how was the boys visit and whatever? Why were they here?

It was fine. The distraction worked in my favor

They were nominally here to help RLH organize some clothes.

3 hour job literally over 3 days lol

And shit is everywhere now lol

Cupboard doors open.... You like?

We had this talk!

Lol I know. Your reaction was priceless

Youve had a lot of priceless from me lol

Truth

You have a singular favorite instance?

Hmm

Watching you roll your head back when I kiss your neck is waaay up there

Hearing you come is ... Sublime

But I undress

Digress

Mmmhmmm. Slip of the tongue at first there?? Lol

How do i sound?

Maybe

You sound deeply impassioned

I thought i was basically silent

Oh hell no you are not silent

For real?

You are by far the most vocal I've been with. No contest

In the moment though? I really dont think i even breathe

There is some of that too

It's intense! And cool af

Okay 👍

Can you tell when you find THE SPOT if i dont say it?

I think I could now. We have some repeatable evidence

Plus now I know better how your clit plays into the scene. She's quite juicy

That's not actually where i was referring but good to know

I know. That was kind of spot #2. To be used gently

It's still very strange to me

Which hardware store & whycome?

Ace in Frandor, if I can remember why lol. Something I thought of in the basement and have now forgotten

Uh-oh 🤭

Lovely wrench or ratchet set? Semishiny metal tool tray?

Lol some kind of fasteners I think

Semi shiny tool tray sounds kewl tho

Like my new kerry framed thing?

null

I did it :)

100% thrifted

Put pieced together par moi

I like it!

Thanks! 🙂

It's roughly 16 by 20

Very nice!

2024-10-21T15:49:23

What did you have for lunch?

Blueberries with yogurt, organic, whole milk, Greek style; chips, tortilla, white corn, with melange of nightshade vegetables ala capsaicin

I was with you (very pro nightshade) and then you ruined it

I will make you a c-free version

Corn & tomatoes?

Salsa lol

Lol

Salsa literally translates to sauce. Could even be Midwestern.

It wasn't the best

So tummy sick from possible yuck. Lm Fix please

Ohh I'm sorry!

2024-10-21T17:05:11

Beyyer niw :)

Lol

Better now

Somebody tried to yuck my baby!

Ohh?

Yeah--you!

I am both?

Idk you said you were yucked

Yep

Better now

How is Ace?

I'm not going to go today. Maybe tomorrow!

Always a fun time

Any reason not today?

I'm pooped out, stayed up too late last night, allergies are bugging me

I'm going to take a shower and decide if I want to eat or just wallow in bed

Sniff

Alone

Omg literal same

Waaaaa!

But i was debating store trip for stupid household stuff

I'm fuckin gross though. Need a shower, not so motivated

SAME

I didnt even change these sheets yet

Like..... GIRL. Get. It. Together.

Lol

Whyyyyyy is it already 1900

And feels like bedtime for me !

Yeah, for serious

And the tummy meds knocked me out for a hot sec

Oh wow. What do you take for that?

To help my agony tummy and nausea?

Yes

Whatever it is, I wonder if a nice tongue on your pink parts is better

Lol

Maybe, but not while I'm actively heaving

Promethazine and compazine

Promethazine is also phenergan

Penguins are practically chickens

Oh, and zofran

This is a whole new lexicon for me lol

Zofran
Phenergan
Compazine

You should look them up

Lol I literally just did

Do you take these PRN?

Yes

I take my scheduled meds at 10 and 10, everything else PRN, including anxiety, pain management, and tummy ows

What do you take for pain? Also curious what you take for neuropathy

PRN right now (Rx) i have norco and oxycodone. Oh, and tylenol 3 + codeine. I think that's all?

Neuropathy i take gabapentin. My duloxetine for depression is supposed to help some too, and pramipexole (mirapex - for restless legs)

Anxiety prn i have ativan, xanax, and clonopin. They all work differently for me and i know what to take when based on their halflives and the acute panic i feel

That might be it for controlled substances

Sumatriptan for migraines prn

It's imitrex

Do you get flack for being a long term opiate user?

From your docs

No

I use very little, esp for what i have going on, and we have a mutual understanding and respect and theyve been my doc since i was 13. I think youd be surprised at what i take, what I'm offered, what i have happening in my body

They don't work so much anyway, and dont give me any kind of high. And that's not a tolerance thing, i just have too higb of a baseline for pain i think

I'm glad to hear it.

RLH has been taking Norco daily for idk 15 years. Her doc is starting to make noises like they're not going to prescribe it anymore.

Does she go to a pain mgmt clinic at all?

Asking bc they can do higher doses and quantities and all that

Yep. Anesthesia injections to lumbar and t-spine. Just had some about 6 weeks ago

Hmm

You get the same to your knee?

Which i will still be smothering in kisses btw

No my knee is fine, albeit lacking some fascia. But the joint is all good

Thankfully!

Good 👍

I will gladly accept kisses regardless

Definitely

Some of the area is numb, while some is hypersensitive lol

That's my entire body - i actually understand!

Wild!

Even parts of my back

Usually it's weird combinations like the skin and fascia will be numb over the worst pain points internally

Oh! I've heard of that

Oh, really??

I have a very miniscule version of that on my abdomen

Hey same!

What is it?

Like whyK

But it's not pain underneath, but an itch I can never satisfy

I think it's surgical tools left behind by the aliens

null

Possibly

There's an antenna on my ear too lol

Idk what they have planned for me

Does it link with dental work?

Surprisingly no

Bummer

I have decided to shower soon

I highly recommend it

It's been a crazy long time since i really washed my hair

I feel so much better

You showered?

Yep

1900 or thereabouts

But we were chatting?

I'm quick if I'm not doing my hair

Oh

Mine needs to be an everything shower tonight

Damn office tomorrow

Oh yeah

I'm thinking I'm going to make a bowl of ramen

And mixed veg

What do you use for noodles?

Whatever I can find lol

I think I have a vegetarian ramen on the shelf

I hope so anyway!

This one has rice noodles

Why would you not have a veg one?

Do you use any animal broths?

About to shower - will be away a while. Remind me topics when i get back:

1. Wednesday
2. Dirty and gross
3. Pain stuffs
4. Corn that starts with a P
5. Garden State
6. Storybook character
7. Foods you make best & why

I guess my distinction of ramen was a bit silly. Animal broth is right out. It's a little tricky to find vegetarian ramen at Kroger

I can't do anything this Wednesday. Maybe next!

I'm pretty proud of my lentil salad. That is one recipe I basically ad-libbed until I got it right. I use dry lentils and all fresh veg. I make tabbouleh as well. Bread is my #1 accomplishment. Once I actually gained an understanding of what's going on, it opened the door to basically make bread any way I like it

Popcorn?

New joisey

You're right, i do feel better

Yay!

I actually really hate the process of showering. I know that probably seems odd

Really?
Maybe you just need company

Solid no but thanks

It's kind of an involved answer

Alright then

I can tell you

I have seen you naked you know

I meant me disliking showers

But also.... logic me knows that fact, in my mind me does not recognize this.

I know youve seen me, but i dont know if youve looked at or absorbed or can recall any of what i look like, or what parts you've viewed the most or anything, really

I think more like yeah... I've been naked in your presence but i thought neither one of us noticed more than me being a warm and fun indoor playground, kind of

Im not explaining that well. But the you having seen me in my full nakedness is wild to me

Can you help?

Can I help you?

To understand how your mind works at having seen me naked. Something along those lines

I imagine you looked, not just a quick glance. But i don't kkow

I think the key thing is I'm not judging, just admiring and possibly a little ogling because you're relatively new to me.

You turn me on!

Human bodies are imperfect

I didnt expect you to judge, but thank you 💕

I expect that, and still can admire

I don't understand what you're admiring or where you look or any of that. And when

Soapy boobies are fun

Why do you think and say that?

I guess for the same reason they look good in wet t shirts

Why do you like them so much? Genuine question

I don't have a definitive answer

Is it look? Feel?

One way I understand my attraction is via the Sugarcubes:
You can't be safer can't be more secure
Than with a breast in each palm
With a breast in each palm
That's the way I was born
And that's the way I want to die

Hmmm i see

At another level, they are erogenous places that are not so concealed, and I do love to please you

Neck and ears are 100000 times em better for me

That's a lot!

Yep

What else can I tell you?

I will tell you this

null

I love you too

2024-10-22T03:40:00

null

2024-10-22T06:18:37

You too!

How are you feeling today?

Good, albeit sleepy for now

How about you?

Wonderful! I've already done more in 3.5 hours than I did all day yesterday lol

Lol fantastic-ish!

Big plans today?

Lol working

Big working

That'll probably suck the life out of me

What does "big working" mean? Headed anywhere tonight?

Idk x2

My big plan is not to make a big plan

Good plan lol

Did you get my OneNote invite?

Idk?

It should have gone to your Gmail account

Nsfw

Thanks

I dont think i see one

Smartin slacking?

Hmm

Tis odd. Maybe the sharing link doesn't go anywhere. One sec

null

Lol!

https://1drv.ms/o/s!BBmaJsW-JN1whPRrZUP6zHWG6-4SAA?e=GSKpee

You said nsfw



I happen to be at afhq

Its fine to test the link.

Says the IT guy

It's just OneNote

It worked lol

Ok Cool. So far I'm just using it as a place for links
For links
For science

Well if it's FOR SCIENCE then it's very important work! Research!

Lol glad you agree!

Yeah!

Whoever just showed up next door needa a cologne spritzing lesson

Smells like a mixture of old man, pepper, patchouli, and nope

Ewwwwww

Time to microwave some broccoli lol

At least that's semi appetizing!

Well he has finally gone and I'm ready for some albuterair, lol

I was thinking of heading to ReStore tomorrow. Wdyt?

Well like I said, I can't take tomorrow off, maybe next week?

And I am definitely thinking I should take nov 6 (day after election day). Will you have that day off even though election day is a holiday?

Yiu

You could have a double holaday erection Day celebration!

I will :) and i was going to just go solo but was asking if it's worth my time?

Definitely Worth it. I spent half an hour in there, bought some things, then realized there was another room I didn't even look at lol

There is some furniture I would seriously buy if I had a place for it.

Place shmace!

Do you have a garage?

I do.... sometimes it has extra room near that nasty galf occupyer of the garage cave

Lol
I do not have a garage
And already have too much stuff up in here

LIESSSSSSSSS

So I'm up on 4... Whyyyyyyyu can i smell someone's aftershave through my n94 mask?!?

Sick
Refer them to "guidelines for RTW", last paragraph

10000000%

Aftershave is the worst fucking smell

I scored you a couple lilac candle jars

Even if i like the scent, i dont need to smell you

Keep your pheromones and parafins and parabens away from me and all to yourself thankyouverymuch

Oh awesome!

Much nicer than aftershave

And ambergrisses!

I clean the wax out and make the jars into pretty things

Whatever, beaverbutt

Whale poo!

Potayto potahto

You could probably make a couple small candles too

I could indeed

But asking people to save trash candle vessels is easier

I'll throw in a free teal length candle for ya

Oooh measuring in hues!

You might like to try my aubergine special?

Tried it before, absolutely love it, cant get enough

Oh you have tasted of the 🍆?

It has no taste

So it's the best atound

Leader of the year email....

You know the face I'm making

null

Much less emotion

null

null

null

Par example

null

How is the aubergine aujourdhui?

Quite tame

Could use a little spicing up

Make it so!

I need another cook in this kitchen

Make. Ir. So.

!!!

You don't mind if I start cooking in the back seat do you?

How is/was lunch?

Not at all!

Lunch was ok thanks

What did you have?

Quesadilla with Colby and green olives

Ews

Eet Was Scrumptious

Lovely for you

I only wat black olives

*eat

But i eat them by the can/jar

Yknow that new leader of the year.....?

I do know her

Do you get the jumbo black olives and put one on each finger?

Sometimes!

Sometimes i like to feel like gulliver and get extra small ones with the tiny liquor bottles and baby corn too

Lol

Aaaaanyway, yknow how money from outside this org keeps us afloat and paid and whatnot?

There is not one word that starts with "bill" in her entire LOTY profile

For which i routinely Excel crunch impressive stats

That i have accomplished. Some other people too but omgggggg

She is the service center director of billing

Lol

That's my point. Leading whom?? Oh, billing? Who knew!?

Just another day, another grievance

Still no health plan info.

At. All.

I want drugs, sec, and shopping

#lifegoals

Well ive been promised 3/3 and so far it's only a 67%

Plus i rounded up!

Still seeking the D huh

Only always

Who gave you sec?

Some guy from work

Fucking IT guys lol

The worst! Always being nice and considerate and shit

You know why right?

They're always hoping for an excuse to crawl around under your desk while you're sitting there.

Sounds about right

IT boys will always put you on a pedestal....

....so they can look up your skirt

Yeah!

And look right over your shoulder while actually staring straight down your blouse, while doing a reach-around for the mouse

Fuckin IT

Have you ever experienced ASMR?

Not in any real capacity

The strongest I ever felt it, I was sitting at my desk, and this gal wanted to show me something on my computer so she knelt down next to me and basically leaned into me to use the mouse. Way up in my personal space. I thought my head was going to explode it was so intensely good feeling. Not really sexual even, just so close.

Oh, i can put that on lockdown. I can basically breathe words if i try

You've heard me breathe before

Yesss

And my tongue separate from the toof of my mouth when i try and swallow

*roof

Wet and dry at the same time

Wild!

That was all before I even knew ASMR had a name. Like 2002 or something.

You know there are YT videos and spotify lists for it

I know. I've been pretty disappointed by YT efforts so I kinda fell out of love with the idea of watching it. Haven't bothered with Spotify. I still catch posts on Reddit from time to time and the story is always the same... "Why did ____ mess up her schtick?"

2024-10-22T17:23:11

One 36 minute phone call later and I'm outta here

Crikey!

Yep 👍

Super busy this evening?

Nah

What are you up to?

My default position is not making plans lol

You get one guess..... will be at home

Book rehab

Not so much. Well, at least prob not what you're thinking for book rehab

Where should i clean?

Maybe your x-rated bed?

What are you in the mood for? Grubby nasty, dusty, laundry?

I've done all of the above today lol

Laundry is almost all done

I just want this place better

Would you feel better about improvements to personal space vs shared space?

I have no idea

It's all about the same priority in my head so my gears freeze up

Your bathroom is small, manageable. Does it need anything?

Like what?

Short answer is yes, longer answer is that it can wait

Plan B : Fold laundry and enjoy free time

Can fold laundry!

Thanks

Do you cook for rlh too?

Off and on. More off than on rn. On weekend nights I often do though because I'm usually in a giving mood

What would you make for me right now?

Would you prefer pasta with Alfredo sauce, mushrooms, and peas/broccoli

Or

Roasted asparagus spears with grape tomatoes, garlic cloves, and lemon served with mashed potatoes?

Hard choice

Both have garlic, so no kissing

Each has something i typically dislike

Both sound good in general

What's your dislike ?

Most Alfredo I've had tastes like paste. Never cared much for mashed potatoes

You don't have to eat the roasted garlic btw

Ok, I was going to suggest couscous or quinoa as an alternative to mash

Would use plain couscous and flavor it up a bit.

Can you come cuddle me?

null

Lol those two

Softer

She looks whacked

Who is who though?

I assume she's the one getting "cuddled" lol

null

There you go

So what say you

2024-10-22T21:29:06

Good night sweet baby!

2024-10-23T01:54:10

I love the cuddles! Ty!

Turned out i needed sleep. Who knew!?

2024-10-23T03:54:59

null

2024-10-23T06:16:28

Bon matin!!!

Very comfy

How aboit you?

Same! I woke up last night thinking I was with you 🥰

It was wonderful

Awwww!

What's on docket today?

All maybes rn, but I need to take a bunch of Styrofoam to Mason for recycling

Been cleaning since 0330

I think I'm possessed

Are you going to the ReStore today?

Havent decided on restore. Im going somewhere, just unsure of agenda atm

Think i should go there or elsewhere?

Depends on what you want to browse I guess? Hab4Hum has some nice big things, tools, handy things, but not much objets d'art

They have a couple beautiful cabinets and tables!

Too big for Uber tho

Unless your Uber is a U-Haul

Not today it isnt.... also kinda have to sneak these things into the house

Lol sneaking a dining room table... Maybe not

Exactly

David sent me this poetry reading last night. It's nerdy, but I found it fun, funny, and touching.

https://youtu.be/cxGWGohIXiw?si=PlHesd53GtOB6TOK

That's really cool, thanks!

Glad you liked it!

Workin actual af stuff today?

Oh yah

AF af

Euxhgghh

Anything good?

Survived my appt today

Oh! You had appt already?

I did

And already back home

Wow!

Yep!

Just more problems to add to my ever-growing list of maladies

In search of anything?

Wait what maladies? What are you talking about?

I mean what's new

I can't remember if I told you I'm looking for a mirror? For the medicine cabinet.

Now I am also looking for a sheet of clear acrylic, preferably 1/8" thick or more, minimum 27" square

Lol I should just send my hardware shopping list

Yes!

Got me some cysts. Dommage. C'est la vie.

Dang

Can we ask where?

Left side. Ovary & kidney

You can ask whatever lol. It's not like we're unfamiliar

Well that's a bummer. Any pain with those?

Yeah. Hence the necessary appointments

Oh well

Phooey :(
I'm sorry

Why sorry?

It is what it is

I knew but this was more confirmation. Cant do anything about them. Meh

Just sorry you have to deal with all that on top of everything else

You can have your way on top of me at next earliest convenience

Hahahahaha

I like you on top so, so much though!

Ok. Just for you 😘

You still didnt tell me if you understand whyyyy i like you that way

I think I did? Idk. It's for comfort, like a heavy blanket

On top in a more active way.... why i like you being the more dominant of us subbies

So be it!

This subbie likes fucking you that way just fine 😚

Ohhhh yesssss please

It makes me think less

2024-10-23T12:16:04

null

Lol good kitteh

It's his boat

😆 I keep Chewy case lids and scatter them around the the house. It's hilarious how much use they get

Chewy case lids?

null

null

Oh la la!

Enjoying your day off?

Yes! Making lots of progress. Enjoying AF?

Not so much lol

null

😆

2024-10-23T17:05:46

How's it going?

Good day?

It's been ok I guess!

Tell me more

Nothing to write home about lol, even if I were not at home already.

Now I'm wondering if I have strength remaining to do anything else useful today

I've done a lot in the basement

I can't believe I'm still breathing

Keep talking with me :)

I've been thinking about how I want to make this basement space actually fun to be in. Spiff up the aquarium. Get a love seat and chair or two. I have a spare stereo I'm babysitting indefinitely I could bring down here. I'd need to get some speakers, but I've priced that out and it's only 100 bucks

Maybe pull one of the area rugs out of whatever closet they're in

Also thinking about doing hydroponics again down here. I'd have to really set a plan, but I've been able to grow lettuce, spinach tomatoes, parsley well

I tried cilantro several times but it never worked out. Not sure what went wrong

Make an indoor raised herb garden!

Also grew some weed plants RLH had. They did ok for a while, then the plant Holocaust happened and the basement became a desolate area

I do think I should grow some things in soil, yeah

And having nice oregano, parsley, etc is fantastic

O the other hand

I could pack up all the hydro stuff and reclaim 120 SQ ft

I have a lot of stuff for it.

You can make the aquarium a small garden

Lots of lights, big trays, etc

The aquarium I want to set up is deep rather than wide--but I know there is a long tank back here somewhere. If it holds water lol

You can make it a candle display

Or anything, really

Wanna see something cool?

Yeah! 👍

null

null

Complete set.basically perfect

I think 1952?

Wooeee! That's quite a set

Did you just get that?

Friend dropped it off

His grandma died a while ago and he's cleaning out her house in Eaton Rapids

It was me or the trash

Same for some s&p if you want any vintage plainer ones

S&P?

Salt and peppers

Haha lol I wouldn't deprive you if the opportunity

Lol

I have duplicates of some

And some might be for sauces? Like soy?

Fancy!

Want to know how many salt shakers were liberated from Holiday Inn South? How many plates? Forks?

Ummmmm yes?

null

Am i missing something?? Feels like if

We still have a dozen plates. At one point there were salt shakers in every room. I think they are like cat toys--there's probably a big pile of salt shakers under rlh's chair. Most of my flatware came from Holiday Inn.

She used work banquets there

Wasn't the "let's talk about" series a tool for parents to discuss difficult topics with their kids? I don't really remember it well.

I bet you can find the books

Ohhhhh yeah i kkow those

Did you bring it up just now for any reason?

Sorry, I've been al9ke all day so might be a touch crazy

I just found that book bag in a pile of weird stuff

Oh okay

So we're good? You and i?

OMG yes! I'm sorry did I throw you off?

It was just a silly joke

Yeah threw me off but not because of you, if that makes sense

Yes it does. Sorry about that!

null

You're okay thanks

null

Interesting!

How is your evening going?

Oh, so you do or do not know what that is?

It is okay

My eyes are angry

Yours?

It looks like a phallic salt shaker or pepper grinder

My eyes are actually ok for a change

It is absolutely not that!

I meant how is your night going

All good. Pretty chill. I did some low key work, inspected the aquarium. Determined it needs a lot of cleanup, but it's doable

Cool

It's a Hemingray glass utility insulator, btw

Really thought you'd have known that!

Ohhhh!

Will those aren't all that common in these parts

Is it hollow?

Yeah, it was on a stick thing

null

Yeah, kimd of!

Would you like it?

Unless you have plans for it. I think it's neat 😁

I get things i think are neat

I hope to find people i love to whom they can be gifted

So i think you'd be perfect

Well thank you!

How can I repay you?

Never any need - i only give freely and without expectation of reciprocity but you can keep hanging out with me. Occasionally entertain my need to procure more unique or old or weird things

But i also might have a clock thing for you to try and fix/look at, if you need there to be a singular task

Happy to take a look!

The hands need to be tightened is all, i think, i just dont know how to make it work. They're open

Alrighty then

What's up for the next few of your days?

Not positive yet. I'll see if I can keep this energy up

So much to do here

Whoops I just faded out for a minute

Same here

But alas i am headed for my mother's for a while this weekend

Just got scolded for making a suggestion too

Love it

null

Love you babe!

Love you too!

Headed to sleep then?

Yes pretty quick too lol

2024-10-24T03:43:33

Good morning!

2024-10-24T04:48:28

Heyyyy baby!

How are you?

Feeling good!

How is my sweet cherry lump?

Pretty good

Been busy already have you?

Yep!

Wish i had someone 4ish inches taller....

Oh?

Yeah. Being fun sized isnt always as great as it sounds

But but but you're so yummy!

Do you have a little step ladder?

I could put you on a pedestal?

You could sit on my face?

Yes to all!!!

I found a solution so you cant look up my skirt on that pedestal

Harummmph

Fiiine

You dont even want to hear about it? I was so creative!

Yes I want to hear all about it!

You stood on a stack of encyclopedias?

Encyclopedias?

Dammit autocorrect

Lol

I just dont wear a skirt ;) leave it all off

Hahahaha!

I'm a problem solver!

You sure are! :)

Want or need some mugs?

Oh boy idk the mugs kinda overfloweth as it is. I might take some bigger ones if you have them?

So far these, maybe

null

Oh! I have one for you :)

Secret, lol

Sleeping?

Shopping lol

Ooh! Where?

Bozo mart

Bezo

Beelzebub

I think I have too many projects in flight and I'm shopping for equipment to take on even more

Hmm

Maybe I need to think about this

Calling me a project?? Rude!

Lol

Are you feeling like you need some maintenance and attention?

Of course!

Well next time I come over I'll lube you up

Maybe we could do it sooner?

Speechless

Does your mouth need lubricant too?

It was working really well last time I saw you

I never create enough mouthe moisture

Let's work on that together

Yes please!

When?

ASAP!

But I have to warn you, my hair, body, and mind are all clean and pure now

Okay cool
Some nice, easy corruption for me then!

You would defile me? Meeeeeee?

You will find none purer

Same here

Pure, wet, tight, pink.....

Ohhhh myyyyy

Too deep and dark in there for you?

I'll let you ease in. Maybe start with just the tip

Finger, tongue, other extremity.....

Mmm mmm mmm

Fuckkkkkk i am tired

Coffee & pastries please

Pastries you like? What kind?

I decided pasta and caffeine were ok

null

Yay! What you got on that rotini?

Butter, parm, herbed oil from horrocks

null

Wanna do exciting things after work today?

What.. are you licking there?

Haagen dazs, i think?

null

Lololol!

What kind of excitement did you have in mind? Please remember I am pure of body and mind, and I need both hands to drive

I can do plenty with and without my hands....

I do maybe have to take a little trip to Mason

For science

For real?

Indeed. To perform my civic duty as a responsible recycle person. And carpooling is the most efficient way to drive.

Hahahahahaha always is

I was probably going to find a rescue store for things that need me to foster them lol

How is the work?

I'm kinda of ignoring one work while back vacuum in the basement

Kind of same

null

Such helpful coworkers lol!

How goes things?

null

Nonstop calls. Literally backtoback, 10 seconds between

I am def headed shopping after work

How are things for you?

I am in a meeting that is going to cause my head to explode

Pompous assholes

Name the nammmmmes!!!!

Guy who sits in the office next to me sometimes?

No
He's mostly at atg, was a VP there, is a director here now

He's a jerk

I'll say

Oh I'm right!?

Stereotypical IT know-it-all acts like everyone below his level is an idiot.

Jesus. I cannot take much more of today

What's your meeting about?

What purse do i want to use nextN

Pardon me while i chew open my chest in the meanwhile

Whew

Well I've calmed down

I should have known that meeting was going to get my dander up

Yeah, what is it about today lol

What did you decide to do after work?

I might head over to Michco, and Ace on the north side. Both are just a couple blocks from HfH. If you were thinking to go to Habitat I can probably meet you there

I work too late for that but thanks

Also dont know what any of your places are

And kinda misplaced the important parts of what i was exchangong between purses. Oops.

Lol

Ok I probably misread where you were planning to go

But I will be outta here much earlier than you so I can get some things I need and find you

What are you trying to do silly boy?

Maybe just find where i put my cards and I'll escape lol

But still curious what you're doing

Do you know what time i work til?

What are your sunday plans?

You usually work until 1715 right? I just need to get out of the house for a bit, was going to pick up some things I need

You're correct

You can always step in here quick and steal some kisses

null

null

Ooooh nice! But no thanks

Found wallet!!! Hurray!!!

Yay!

I can escape now lol

Woohoo!

Where are you going?

Well, in like a half hour

Unsure

Lol

Unsure huh. That's what I'm doing Sunday!

Hahaha

Twins 🤜

For sures

How much longer can you be out?

Hour? Two?

I have your candle jars too

Ooooohhhh nice

Yeah? What you need princess?

What do you want?

Omg may i have a new spine please?!?

Couple gallons of hydromorphone maybe

Lol

**pleeeeeeeeeassssssseeeeee

I got yo hydro

I have plenty of hydrostuffs, just not what i want lol

Need a straw?

No interest in road trip to Mason?

Idk.... i would love to but suddenly feel kinda sick and there's the matter of finding an excuse

Probably just anxiety

Stupid self brain

And L just messaged that he's on his way home. Lovely.

It's ok babe I'm just peer pressuring you into the magic of Styrofoam recycling

The cool kids are doing it

You can always tell L to pick up something at Horrocks

That's not anywhere close to here

I feel awful all of a sudden

I'm sorry

Phone call adrenaline

And zero alone days for forever from now

Any chance you're like a mile away?

More like 4

I am actually near AF

Ugh. Him too

Well this sucks

Can I meet you somewhere?

Thought about it. Couldnt be til later though

He's supposed to be working for another 20 minutes

I would have been happy just to have you sit here while i clean

Talk about crappy timing

Always with him

He doesht start or end when he's supposed to and it drives me mad

I've noticed this pattern. With him

Yeah

There's a lot of patterns

Can i tell you something unhinged?

Please

Please do

Feel free

I really want to throw up right now

Oh I'm sorry! Why so tense?

The usual

And startinghin like 12 minutes it will be days of constant presence from him, then my mother, then him again.

There's more (always is) but i can't get a breath

Aww my poor baby :( I understand needing me time

I dont have that

Or if i do, i use it cleaning

This too sounds familiar

Does L expect you to wait on him?

I dont know. Sometimes and some things but not really

I wish you could hold me

I.would have begged you to come over for even 5 minutes if he didnt skip out early

null

Yeah that's close to how i feel

Idk if it makes you feel any better but I took the next two Wednesdays off

Really!?

Yep

I sure did!

That does make me feel better

null

Sizzling!!

Big ideas for those Wednesdays?

Hmm

Idk something might pop up eh?

Guess we'll find out

Okay, i think i need more sleep for now

Ok babe sleep well. Sweet dreams!

Still not home

Ffs

2024-10-24T19:21:14

Hey babe

Hiiiiieee!!

Are you ok?

Afk45

Back!

Hay I want to share a code word with you but I don't know what it is yet

It shall mean "absolutely do not contact me from this moment. I will contact you". The reason for this is protection for both of us.

I want to anticipate the need to reveal my phone. I can quickly archive this conversation and I expect that is sufficient to protect both of us in this case

So ack word?

Idk thinking on it now

Hope you are resting well bebe

Gotcha

And fantastic idea

Freeze?

I can get behind that, but suggest heavy abbr like FZ

Im good with that too

I'm not trying to sound crazy lol just want to be prepared

Agreed 👍

Have you rested?

Xxxoxooozzxxxoxxx

😘😘😘😘😘😘😘

You may also want to consider deleting this convo and /or saving me under a very nonplussed name

I did rest

And am still very sleepy

I hope you are well, if sleepy?

Maybe? I hooe so too

Kisses and cuddles!

You, too

I want to ensure you are well

Don't make me lick you

Like a mama kitty

I am well enough, mamakittycat

Ty baby

Sleep well, mon chou

You, too

Are you doing alright?

I am! I broke my beer and weed restriction, and I feel very nice

Hanging with the cats, Spotify, electrolysis, camera, ... Missing only you!

2024-10-25T07:02:09

Heyyy you! Good morning!

Heyyyy babe

How are you doing?

I am okay thanks

Slept forever and still so, so tired

And very cold

null

That would be very nice, thank you :)

How are you?

I feel like i need massive help waking up. This is awful

Also, sae spouse one tike last night. And he wasnt home til after 1800

😐

I should have zipped over there and abducted you!

I wouldve been asleeo

You swinging by with caffeine & yummies?

I wish I could! And take a nap with you too

Omg yes please

But at least i am not phones today

On the plus side, i finally threw on some make up

😘

null

Did you want to make any plans for sunday?

Ooh! What are you thinking? I guess I thought you were going to be in Brighton all day

Trying to make those choices now

I can probably get out for a couple hours

Nbd if you can't, legit just wondered

I will if I can!

Okay. Just unsure of how to have the weekend planned and it sucks

Not a "you" issue at all

Finally figured some stuff out

How are you?

I'm doing ok. Up too late last night lol

You should tell me about last night

Not much to tell. I was just focused on cleaning some tools, listening to music, and drinking beer

Are you in a not good mood?

Good enough Id say? I don't feel spectacular... Sore throat since I woke up, a bit dragged out from beer and allergy meds. But my mood is good. I am happy to hear from you 🙂

That's good :)

I didnt know I'd been super quiet, aside from last night. I'm sorry!

It's ok😊

You didnt say anything, meanwhile i thought you were upset or didnt want to chat, so i didnt.... again, i am very common sense dumb. It's directly connected to ky booksmartness

Text pause for a few... spouse fixing phone glass

Thaw :)

Lol shiny new?

Yep 👍

I put screen protector on this phone a couple days after I got it. It's now cracked in at least 3 places (the protector!)

My basement floor is unforgiving

Lol. I put a protector on mine the day i got it. Cracked it the same day lol

But

My thumb got a little too raw the last few days

Im in the market for fake rosemary

Fake?

Like, an artificial rosemary leaf thing

I have a plant in the backyard

Not fake tho

Thanks

I also have a live plant

This would need to be artificial

Hmm. Ok

Yeah, my thoughts exactly

How come you weeded last night?

Curious. Not disappointed or judging

I was blowing off steam from work. Basic escape technique ngl

It helps me to focus on other things

Tell me more about work

It was that encounter with IT dude. It settled down, but I needed to get it off my mind. I don't like hanging on to things like that. Too much fight/flight drugs, too much blood pressure, not enough serenity.

Today, work is just full and lifeless lol

*dull, definitely not full

Same but it meant i got some cleaning done!

Fight/flight drugs?

I've been circulating water in the fish take for a couple hours now

Exciting stuff!

But what are the f/f drugs?

Hormones
Adrenaline

Also, are you aware those are not the o ly 2 responses?

Powerfull

Be eaten?

Oh. Yes. But not externally taken drugs in this instance

And no, for real no the only responses. "Be eaten" is actually close to one of them

Fall out of tree

Get smooshed by dinosaur

Okay then

Idk, what options are there?

I suppose there's have intelligent discourse

But I kinda ruined that opportunity lol

https://images.app.goo.gl/rUPMQi3PJhykLwSEA

I'll be darned. I've never seen that. Makes sense though!

I am neither of which you mentioned

I'm thinking you are freeze, based on what you've told me

Why do you say freeze? I know you just said "based on what i told you" but i need more

Your response to trauma, eg from father and brother, was to freeze

That was my line of thought

Are those the only 2 you know at this point?

There was also the fire

But that specific type of instance

Yes

Okay, thanks

You're coreect with freezing

For the most part, at least. I have done all 3 "new" ones and more often than not my response is a combination

Makes sense

I think my response was more like "become a snotty b----", but that doesn't fit the f-model so well

"Flippant fuckery" alliterates just fine

Lol!

Fair warning that i will be slower to reply starting after like a half hour until in a few hours from now

Ok got it

You heading to Brighton soon?

Yep

Safe travels babe!

:)

Thanks

Not leaving just yet

Wish we were chatting more

Well you can chat me up... I'm at the grocery store

What's your favorite pickup line?

Oh. Unsure! I love them though

For a while i would ask someone for a napkin, then give them a cherry stem i knotted in my mouth

You can do that????

Yes

If the stems are long enough

I've seen this done. It astounds me

Completely self taught, lol

More often than that i would ask if they like how my lipgloss tastes

Bahaha!

Or ask if they knew what flavor it was

Cherry obv lol

You sure about that?

No lol

You usually taste like mint and yummy

null

Would you tell me if i tasted bad?

Maybe

Would you tell me if coffee mouth tasted bad?

Yes

I know I've tasted bad when attached to your lips

You didnt say anything

??

I legit do not remember that

I think you're being a bit tough on yourself

You're positive?

I never once thought you tasted bad, anytime, or anywhere

Oh. Okay. Thank you

I really am convinced i have

On no less than 3 occasions

Possibly more, because i was only referring to my tongue just now

I mean absolutely zero times my tongue has been applied to you in any fashion

I understood after i read it and tjoight about it lol

*thought

I will always feel like i taste bad

I never once thought that about you.

Taste testing will continue! For science!

Lol okay

I swear i have decent oral hygiene most days

Lol most days

True

I fixed my basement lab chair woo!

Wooo!

Handoff relatively successful

As in.... i was passed off in webberville

In her car

She is still on the phone with a neighbor/friend of hers

So now I'm fuckin sad again

Oh my goodness

Poor baby!

Finally left the parking lot

It's a long road to Brighton

Meh

There's a Spotify playlist in that OneNote I shared

Can i have the onenote again please?

And a gazillion pounds of morphine

Maybe mix it with liquor

Step 1
https://1drv.ms/o/s!BBmaJsW-JN1whPRrZUP6zHWG6-4SAA?e=GSKpee

null

I present, the morphine martini!

Step one commencing

I dont know any of those artists, save Massive attack

Too vibratey to listen right now but i have finally arrived chez mere in brighton

I am dying now

🥰

No no, I need you to come back

Feel free to add or delete as you feel

Is needed

I really cant listen now but i will

I am so much ow right now

I'm sorry you are hurting babe!

Don't worry about the other thing

Other thing?

null

The playlist

Oh. I thought it might help, so i will listen later. But literally cant right now

So how do i make the ow stop for now?

Tell your mom you need a love slave stat

Oh that'll go well

Do you have any idea how she ends every conversation?

I do not

"Be niiiiiice"

No matter what i say

Or how many tears were in my talking

She's letting the neighbor's dog out now

I just have my phone

How old is Mom?

71

You know my rents are only 5 years older

L's parents are very kuch a lot younger

*much

And i knew that but also didnt

Does Mom let you down? Like dismiss you?

Your rents are both the same age?

And idk still what you mean

Dad born May 1948, mom born September 1948

What can I clarify?

For a while, we had 3 generations hanging out each 20 years apart

Let me down...?

I anticipate tonight being a long and unhinged-ish conversation with you

Please say when you need a subject change or to be done for the night

Okay

This is what I was thinking of in re your mom

Right

Let me down as in disappoint?

Yeah

Just "be nice"?

It isn't though. It's something you might have to hear me say to get the point across

I dont know how to get through tonight

Can I ask why you are there?

null

Library volunteer thing tomorrow

Sorry, phone died

Good progress

Ty!

So you are doing civic/social activity tomorrow? That sounds so like it's up you're alley? And a cool thing to do

It's an all over activity. And I've done it for decades, as has she

Please tell me to take the drugs

What drugs ?

Does it matter?

I mean, what would i do that youd worry about me taking?

But you want me to pull the trigger? I want to know what I am committing you to.

Or you can tell me pat pat don't worry about the specifics

I do not make this promise to everyone, but i swear i will tell you before i attempt to actually harm myself. Ive told you every time since i promised you a while back

In any event, all i have with me is norco for anything illicit-ish

Take your meds babe!

And I really appreciate what you said above

It means a lot to me

Just be aware i will actually use it

I will not abandon you

I dont know if you've realized when ive used it

I agree. I don't think I know the moment

It's been more than once

So

Ty for telling me

Let me help when I can

In the future

I care about you being here

I want you here

You're welcome

Thank you

To be clear, i haven't felt the need too much to stop existing. More like a need to self harm, which i promised you i would talk to you before doing. So when i realize it, i ask or i say something

That's what i was referring to

I can kind of explain the rest, depending on what you want to know

Unsure what you already know or remember

What are you feeling right now?

I dont think it has a word

null

Always adorable, you

Your Guinness seems far away

Smoking?

You have Mastermind!!!

And are you wearing denim?

Ew

Lol!

No I'm wearing sweatpants

Very grubby ones

You don't like me in denim I take it

If you like mastermind, and you like words, you probably will like Wordle!

This is one of my word games

I am familiar with wordle

Denim is fine

Just not comfy to wear

I'm going to lick you in 45 minutes

You dont even know where i am lol

No matter

null

What am i looking at?

null

Um

You amended your hair

Did not

You're also correct ;)

I am all natural I'm kiddo

1st to 2nd pic, hair is different

I rly

Je pense que ouai

I rly

Or

O rly?

null

Was supposed to be o rly

I want it down next "time"

(Please)

Has mine been down for you yet?

Lol make me

Okay

You might need to pull it a bit

I will if you will

null

Have you thought of the word yet?

For what ?

Ayo?

Hiee had to escort bags of gross out of the House!

Eww

Would you like to know about my other escort services?

YES

OOOOH!

WELL

what is your ideal evening?

Dinner and dancing?

Dinner and fucking?

Dinner and you for dessert?

Or me maybe?

Tell me your ideal

Chill day in nature
Lil dinner
Lil dreenks
Lil fucking

Rewind and repeat

Want to dress me up?

Maybe

You want to dress me up?

Ooh I might!

Did I tell you about the glamour shots?

Def not!

It's not what you think prolly

I would like to dress you up!

I've never done that

Tell me alllllll of it

Are you ok with a sad story? It's not terrible

Yes, please go on

7 years ago or so, RLH wanted money for some glam shots. 400 went to this. Apparently a cool female photographer. Then another 400.

I have yet to see a single shot. I asked her about this for the first time a few months ago. She has no recollection

I do have proof of the expense, whatever it was. I have no reason to doubt. But damn

I was not as big in photography then as I am now

I would love to play with you

null

He. Looks. Petrified.

Thank you for sharing that

Also.... i want details for playing with me, pretty please

This is kind of a choose your own adventure deal

I will ask if you want to take some photographs

You answer?

Yes

It's kind of a nice camera. Would you like to hold it?

I dont know anything about cameras. I trust you to show me what i need to know and tell me what to do

I've never had ay "real" pics taken anyway

What are you picking to dress me in first?

Oh! So glad you asked

I did say i want every detail

I am in such a better mood thanks to you

I want to know everything you've ever imagined with me, from me, for me....

null

Yes

With a black bustier

Until this my moment I thought black lipstick was not for me, but I might be swayed

Red bows in your hair

Black lace hose

How are we doing?

You would be SUCH a doll

Why do you like me like this description?

I would lick you endlessly

So pretty

What makes this one more appealing vs, say, all white and pastel?

Show me!

Show me this one immediately

You do recall I'm in a different county rn?

Oh. This is perhaps a legal concern? Fml but please do not break the law

Lol no

Just stating i dont have anything of my own rn

Anyway

Sorry! Had to make a snack

Where were we

You tell me allll the things

Ok but please keep your clothes on

No promises

You like me better without them anyway

May I keep shooting?

You are fun

Ohhhhh yes please do

I mean with the camera you perv

I didnt stutter

I like you a lot

I like you a lot too

I actually love you

Xoxoxox

So you care?

Yes

But also.... ???

What is also?

What "care" is in question?

And a question or million to follow

You actually love me? Tell me more

Tell me this isnt a trapand that you're you first

Lol girl I asked you first
And no trap

Other than my "big" head

What's something only i would know?

You tease

More specific

I asked you to first

Unexpected "to"

Leaving it

Mmmmmk

What's your first question right now?

Bring it pink bebe

My question actually was

Tell me more about you love me

And i will, as soon as you prove you're you

I am yet unconvinced

Hey now

What can

Nope

Wait

3 ninutes

Ninu kind x 3

I dont get it?

Lol you're not supposed to

Dislike

null

Okay.... why did i think your name was funny?

My name is funny?

I thought it was. To me anyway

Ironic, maybe

I see.

Okay, spell your best coworker mate's last name

Wait a sec here Missy

Give me a 2 letter codeword in my preferred language's quotation marks

Follow it with an all clear

In a specific term i used earlier

What's my least favorite number and why?

"FZ"

All clear babe

What did i say earlier when i was clear?

Oh my I am lost now

All was in the Interest of pleasing you

I want to be sure you are who i think I want to text this to

Think of it as MFA

Fair

But I don't know what you want me to recall. "When I was clear" I cannot place in time

Oo:00

Oh. Earlier i had you pause texting

Just sayin

Yes you did

When you could unpause, what word did i use?

Unfreeze

Do you think somebody took over my phone?

It was a possibility

And no, that wasnt it

null

Oops?

Thaw

Also....

<>

Would have been my preferred language

L a n g l o i s

I believe?

Yes

Your name

Ma'am?

Why did i think it was funny in an ironic way to me?

You are killing me

I have zero short term memory rn

Here's a clue: whom do you think 90% of this house's photos are of?

Cat(s)

Im at my mother's

Oh right lol

I don't want to say

It's just a fact

Facts aren't feelings

Anyway, your name is 2/3 the same. Hence irony

You don't know my least favorite number?

I'm sure I forgot. I'm sorry

No worries

8

If you and i had an anniversary it would be...?

(It's a date)

I am sorry
I am completely lost lol

Name one of my pets

Didn't I already prive my identity

Until I'm closer to 100%, it's a no from me

I also really hope you're okay right now

Mama kitty

You are being so hard

I'm really really concerned

Wait what? Why

You seem off

I'm just happy buzzed flirting

Is is ok

You're positive?

Yes ofc!

I like fantasizing with you

And about you

I'm very glad

Should we get back to it then?

Sure I reckon?

You are ok too?

I think so

I put a bra on and took a pic to prove I am me

I did see that

But also could have been taken at any time and saved

Fair

But I am literally here now thinking about you picking at it

Picking at?

Don't you want what is under?

Ah, i see our confusion

I wouldnt pick

I would straddle you down once you're down to just your boxers on the bottom but still wearing everything on top

As i have you pressed into your seat, i nuzzle your neck and around your clavicle, dipping into the crevices of your neck and slowly breathing shorts whimpered gasps into your ear
My lips part with the sound of my tongue clearing sticky sweet saliva from the roof of my mouth as i disrobe you more, clearing you of your tshirt as i remive it with my hands spread broadly underneath like unsheating from.mittens

OMG I want to be there rn

And then i tiptaptaptippytap my fingertips along until i very gently undo each delicate feature of that brassiere and i rock back and forth underneath you, me feeling you swell as i drench down all the more

And i barely touch you

And barely make noise

And you cant take the tension and suspense anymore with all my teasing

So then i look into you and you gaze back into me and we know

And you take me

I want you like this

Me too

Please

Yes

Every moment

I want to feel love like this

Passion

And longing

And deserving

I love you this way

I love you this way too

I want this from you, to give you this because no one has claimed it from me or offered it to me

I feel it with you but cant adequately explain it. It's literally a carnal need

I want this for you!

And me!

Youre the one who gets this. That was my decision a while ago

Am I so different

It's going to hurt me and break me as immensely as it will show me love and complete me

You are that different, yes

I dont know what might happen in that cathartic event but i know I'm okay with whatever it is with yoh

I long to truly couple with you

I dont think i know exactly what you mean, but i know i want it too

null

I want you to break me in a good way. I didnt know that at first

I thought it was just going to have to be pain

But it isn't so

null

Gnight sweet bean!

null

2024-10-26T07:54:18

null

Good morning sweet prince!

null

2024-10-26T12:27:10

OMG hieee!!

I slept in so bad lol

I love those pictures!

Heya sleepy!

null

IT COULD HAVE BEEN DRUGS!

lol

Lol looks pretty sus to me!

Noooooooo

Ma'am where are you taking those books ?

Ummmm

A loving home?

They're rescues!

There's even at least 1 for someone i love intimately

Oh rly?

Fo sho!

How ya doin? What are you up to today?

Well Ive replaced the socket on an extension cord, polished the edges of the acrylic sheet I got as a table top protector, and turned two small pieces of wood to hold tape spools and the like

And now I need another cup of coffee

Feeling good!

How is your day with mum?

Pretty good

Very owwwwww and sick feeling now but at least headed bavk to her house from adventures

Did not sit

Was very active

No, of course not food except what i packed

Heyyyyyyy

Heyyyyyyy babe I just got out of the shower. Need to make a trip to despot in a bit

What are you buying me? Loo

Lop

Lol

Getting wood for ya

Yay!

Thought you might like it

Nice and stiff

You know what? I dooooooo like that kind!

Lemme know when you want more fun secrets. Took a bunch of drugs so i should feel decent again pretty soon

Ok lol! I'm at Chez Despot atm

What arrrrrre you procuring?

Wood, tools, plunger

Quelles equipes?

Chisels! For lathing

Wood! For rehabbing the aquarium stand

Stain and sealant?

Paints and primers?

I got poly yeah

Have stains galore

Fish toys and buried treasure?

NO

A ventilatiom system and extra n masks?

Your fish will be so sad and deprived of joy

actually got a pack of ns from amazeballs

I might install a little swing set for the fish

And a merry go pule

Puke

Carousel!!!

Yes!

Get em a friendly neighborhood axolotl

Lmk when you want some chatter

And when you're weeding

And when you want me

And what youre doing tomorrow

Ok home again

Chatter me up babe

Did I ever ask you what would happen if you told your mom you had a side-not-chick?

I will in a few hours.... gotta do some stuff with L & mum here now :/

That's a very long story i actually do know the answer to

Oh! Ok

Tell you soon

Yeah. Literally abandoned since i got home and nowwwww i am busy

Aww :( I will be here all night!

Jesus fucking christ. Maybe not. Those 2 are hanging out and idk if I'm even visible anymore

Huh. Can we sneak off?

Tomorrow

Kid book

null

Yay!

Want it?

Heck yeah

Yay!

It's a very small book

Buuuuut i have some ar home you might really like along the same lines

And thise i hand selected today


Wow tyvm

I love anthropological stuff

Knowledge

Yes! Me too

My mother's degree is in sociology and anthropology

Who knew?! Lol

(I did, but i also love irony)

You should probably keep me away from her lol

JUST KIDDING

null

I god

Oh

Noooo

Well i love it

I memorized clement c moores book a long time ago

Won monies for a few poetic parodies i wrote too

Yay! You were definitely the cool cute girl I lusted after that while time
Hmm. You still are!

Lol thanks!

"That whole time"

Okay i guess we can finally eat??

SOMEONE just infirmed me he has yet to do his OT

O
M
G

More on that later

Ttyl

Ok bebe good luck! 😙😙

null

Xana =/= icthyos

Correct

Wait--she does swim on the floor at times

null

Hey sexy babe!

Wawa!!!

Hiee!!

No Wawa in this state!

You get your Wawa where you get yours! I am ok with that lol

https://open.spotify.com/track/68Azu5ktU8uFdyQ3pixt7H?si=77BGKn4FRaKwGd-ogTwuZA

Did I send you this already? It is so spastic and the lyrics are right up your pink alley

Nope! Give me a few to get in the actual house lol

So tomorrow....

Idk what my plan is yet

No worries

What constraints do you expect in terms of time frames and anything else?

My house is occupied so it would not be here. Perhaps platonic-ish. Or hidden fields or sark alleyways or whatever

You're welcome to decline.... i am here alone and not working all day Wednesday

And i wfh Tuesday this week when he is in office

Ty

I will be in office Monday. PTO Wednesday

Hey, you too!

😊

And I will find a way to find you tomorrow!

Haha okay

Where are you atm?

null

null

Chez moi

Hieeee sweet baby!

Haaaaaiiieeeee

Did you have anything you'd realistically like to do tomorrow?

Besides continue to get stuff around in my lair, make out with you for a spell

But if it should be difficult to make a meetup happen, Wednesday should present many easier opportunities

We can makeout anywhere lol

But it's completely fine to each den dwell separately

Ty!

Is it ok if we assess feasibility if a meetup tomorrow?

I do long for your sweet kiss

Definitely

Can i give you a travel cup?

I will have you as my travel cup

null

Oh lovely!

Might have another pail for you

Much simpler this time

And but sir i cannot be your travel cup

We have yet to see what it takes to overfill me

null

What would you like them in?

I have it lol

What color cup?

For your travels

Oh! I can choose?

You know me by now?

This one requires a straw. Is that okay?

Or you can have a different choice that is side sippable

null

??

Lol

null

I recommend exploring the Adobe color site for funzies

Ohhh gotchas

I recommend planters and bins and the like frim dollar stores, thrift places, and my stockpiles

Please tell me what is the answer to the mom question?

And then I want to know all about you your stockpiles

The mom/side not chick question?

Yes

Short answer is she is no longer my mother

Please explain this to me

I will..... apouse. Rn

 ​👍​ to “ I will..... apouse. Rn ” 

Je retoure!

Oh hello! I'm sure how are you

Rephrase that? Lol

I kiss your face now

Thank you

I want to get high

Like, really really want

And to fuck but 8 still have more weed questions

null

We could do a very mellow first time for virgin weeders

Very cool thing!

But please do ask your questions, right after you explain mom please!

I make round things now

Well, the first time i cheated, L went to her and told her what i was doing, she wrote a letter that was 3 pages long, said she wouldn't have any contact with me if i continued. That's the very short version. I still have the letter if you decide you want to read it

What questions do you have? Please know the story basically only gets worse as it continues but I'm fine with it

No further questions at this time. Thank you

What can I do for you???

I specialize in

Hard

Stiff

Smooth

Stains

Stains, eh?

Any other ideas come to you?

Ideas of what nature?

Oh does the mind wander on stains?

What are you thinking?

Ask your questions lol

null

Babay!!!

Not today, hemachromawhatsit

Blood metals?

Well my jeans were blood stained pretty good

I need full guidance here, ok?

And I waited on ike 3 days to deal with it lol

What you need sis

Well you obv

What kind of high are we having me be?

If you want, we can do literally one hit. And evaluate! The blend I have rn is very easy to sink in to

but

If you would rather not smoke, I can get some nonms

Nommies

I think I'm asking how we're tying to make me feel. Or what experience we're going for

I dont even know how to ask this

The target hovers around
Relaxed
Inspired
Introspective
Unburdened

Oh, and
Focused

How long til the feeling starts? When does it end?

Smoking, onset is immediate. First time one hit may last hours, but will fade steadily

How do you "take a hit"?

One moment

https://photos.app.goo.gl/hvKajkPocyESPApA8

Okay

That was hot aa fuck

Thank you!!!!!!!!!!!

Really?

YES

So i breathe in and hold it like an inhaler breath?

Yes exactly

But it will not be as friendly as an inhaler

And you want to go very gently

Did you change the speed on your recording?

Gently how?

Nope, that was straight from the camera

Gently like a very short burn

You moved quicker than i thought

The burn is hot! And it can easily irritate your mouth and throat

Yeah i absolutely want to fuck you this instant

Ohhhh wow I so wish that is happening

I feel so oddly comfortable

You are so deliciously wonderful

I would literally smother your face rn if you'd let me take a seat there

Ohhhh please do it

And i want you to toss me around like a rag doll so you can have your way after i soak you

OMG please

All of it

I want your fingers doing their magic dancing too

Do you mention petticoats? Like wide at the hip?

And that amazingly conspicuous (in only the best way) head of yours needs to hit where he did last time. I want more of his painless pain

Do you know what a petticoat is?

Educate me plz

Look what I found on Etsy: https://www.etsy.com/listing/954567624/rainbow-skirt-petticoat-tulle-petticoats?ref=share_v4_lx

That's what i have

Black, white, and pink. 22 inches in length. From her

I have a few short short ones too

55cm for non freedom units

I think 22cm is the second shortest length she does

*22in

She's in Ukraine

It's beautiful!

https://images.app.goo.gl/9zJwxFtG3UxCT6PE6

So fruffles are black
Piping is white and pink?

There's an idea of their putpose

Holy fuck

That is so hot

I have ome in black and one in light pink and one in white and a different short short one in black and an additional short short one in white

I require all of these

Get them down from my closet and maybe we can lace up a corset around, say, december 3rd

Fuck me silly please!

Imma be a full on pillow princess wearing alllllllll the skirts

Fuck me bring all that

Have you always been on the bed with me when you go down?

Yes

How come?

It's just where we were

My logic brain says there are much better, easier ways

Like i sit atop a towel on my couch with my legs spread wide open and you rest on some pillows while you drive me insane before fucking me on that very same couch. Or move me against the door and fuck me standing up. Dealer's choice

Yeah

You get everything. Take it from me, whatever you want. You earned it and i want to pour myself all over you

Holy fuck that is so hot

You offer this why?

It's so amazing

I have a few answers

I fucking love your body

And your witty mind

And your wicked tongue

Because i love you

Because you love me

Because i feel it

Because you'll appreciate it

Because it's really all i have and i want to give it to you so no one else has it

You are so sweet

I appreciate you so much

Why do you say my body is amazing?

I mean that. It's scarred and verrrry imperfect

Body

Because I am not grossed out or put off by so-called imperfect. I love honest, unedited girl. Hair and makeup options do not count

And you are soooo hot

Haha, thanks

There was a literal chuckle here

I still dont really understand but i kind of do?

I invite you to wallow in it

I dont want to be full of myself

Wriggle about like a heathen lol

All over me

Just do it

Oil?

Haha, sure

I have some off the cuff insights for you maybe

Tell me now! 😄

This one is weird: last time, you got really innnnnnn and i felt like i was hurt but wasnt and should have been but didnt? And i know you saw my face when it was happening. I feel like i still feel you at that spot

Words?

You told me this kinda before, and here now

No one ever said to me before!

How do you feel about it?

It feels physically amazing to me

But you want to know where this fits in your headspace

Lol *I want to*

I'm still in the feeling of disbelief about it - a little bit like I'm in midair suspension because i don't know what to make of it

Ok if I say Yay! Will you be weirded out

Not weirded out

How do you feel? Lay it all out, everything you thought and felt before and then and now

You are so fucking hot

Yes ... Yes

Yummy

Yes .... Yes

You ask a lot of questions

Very smart girl

Haha, thanks

What else then?

So sexy!

Your other thoughts

Your physical sensations in the act

And you keep wanting to draw my fantasyw

What flashed in your mind when i had weird anr questionable faces

When i take quick cuts of air deep into my core

Can we pause here-- I have a few things to say

Of course

Ty

At no time did I think 'weird or questionable face'

When I started tracking you coming once or twice, I definitely picked up on the breathing.

You are so pretty and so hot when you come! 💕💕💕

Oh mic down

I tried to mimic my cum face in the mirror.... i looked awful. Why do you say pretty?

your visage makes me smile, and your body is so desirable

Rewind a sec, because i dont think i got my point across about something

We were diagonal on my bed, my head up near the head of it and in the corner nearest the signed books and you were on top and about to really get deep. Remember this?

I sure do

I winced when i relaxed and you went as far in as I've let anyone. Remember or no?

Yesss

There is a spot deep up in me that you passed and hit and kept going, and i was positive of what i would feel because that's always like the last part that feels good, the rest always has a stabbing ache for me no matter what and so i was ready for the first time we slept together to have been my only painfree sex at all

It's magical for you?

And i felt you at that spot and was fully bracing myself for the ow and it was still there in my heads because i was so prepared for it but that stab-shock didn't ever happen and i keep looking for it, basically.

I know exactly where i have always hurt and there's nothing at all to indicate you were there

Magical isn't a fair term yet, but what made you think of that term for now?

I am saying i dont know why i didn't feel like someone stabbed me at my trauma spots and it's really thrown off all of me and my thoughts

I also used to/maybe still get really wet and hyperaroused feeling or reminiscing that pain

So my head is all sorts of fucked up over it and i just want sex 24 hours a day and that has never been me

Your dick should have hurt me, i expected you to, and that just did not take place

Pause

Wow! And Yay!

I am beyond overjoyed that helped in this way

And you are also fucking hot

And to fuck you is to love you

So you were sitting on my face yeah?

null

2024-10-27T05:00:58

Boop! Lol

2024-10-27T10:02:45

Hi love!

null

How are you?

I just woke up!

Woo!

Awww

And I'm surrounded by cat noses!

You're adorable

Nah, that's you

😊

Would you wear a quarter zip fleece?

Probably
I have one somewhere

Lol

Decide how you are yet?

Mmmmk

Oh shit I zoned out

You're okay i hope?

I'm ok just napped out with cat by accident

Awwwwws

What else did you decide to do today?

I'm thinking dicker & deal
But I need to motivate

You could always just house elf yourself

Are you saying my ears are pointy?

Not in the least

I have no idea what they look like l9l

I actually left the house lol

Interested in going for a ride?

Great work!

I would love to but it's basically impossible today. I am very sorry

It's ok babe, I understand

It makes me really upset though

No matter where i would want to go or do, i cannot

And why is that?

L decided today is a garage day, so he's out there

I have no excuses to go anywhere that i wont be yelled at for

It's not worth the fight right now

I get it

Some of it, I'm sure. Thanks.

You can just leave and go where and when you want. I cant. I really hate this.

Maybe I'm just hungry

Yeah. If RLH weren't sleeping, I probably would have stayed put.

I thought I sent that a half hour ago oops

You are right that technically i can go wherever whenever, but the suspicion tax is high and the price is usually devastating if I get accused of anything

What's the price?

Fixed hunger

Sorry I'm such a downer :/

The price is dealing with her total emotional breakdown, and the you never do this and you never do that, and so on

Will you fix my hunger too?

The mutually felt hunger to which you are referring is one i stopped feeling eons ago and do not know how to fix

I am somehow very sad and very motivated rn

But but but j'aurais toujours fame de toi

*faim

Peut-etre

Alors.... vous m'adorez encore? Deja?

Oui!

Merci

Je l'avais

,"l'avais besoin de ca

You are so cute when you French

Actually, yesterday i was almost entirely french brained. Speaking and everything

Nice!

I dont know why

It's not a normal response

But it was ok

What did you end up doing?

I picked up a pair of small speakers at dicker & deal

Cool cool

Which did you go to? I imagine cedar?

Yep

I havent been to that one

Anything else?

That's all I got. But then found it the amp I intend to use them with has a blown fuse lol

So what you're saying is that you scored an awesome project too?

Basically, yeah!

You thinking you'll come over wednesday, probably?

It's all good. I hope it's nothing more than a fuse though

Sure!

Hump day!!!

You can be here literally all day if you want

Or we can occupy that time doing normal people things in the outside world too

Just sayin, i am happy to do more than just fuck

Porque no los dos?

Si, los dos es asi asi - noto <>

I'm thinking I will treat the day as if I was in office all day. There's so much work to do!

That was kind of my offer lol

Yay!

What would you do if RLH initiated some intimacy?

There's not a wrong answer. I'm just asking

It's so far fetched
I think I would try to act like I am too tired

You dont foresee yourself initiating again?

Still, no wrong answers

OMG

Meanwhile, you ok?

Yep. Fell asleep on the couch

I don't know if I would or could initiate intimacy with her now. She stopped acting like a friend some time ago. Doing better now but I know she's only one wrong word away from an emotional firestorm

I dont know what that means or who/what that would endanger

I don't like feeling like I have to be a certain person around her just to maintain civility in the house. It's not right

I agree

Thank you for sharing these things

Did you ever figure out the major thing i did illegally when i totalled that car?

No I didn't! Dang it

Start guessing again lol

Noooooo

You had a fake ID

Getting closer!

You had your friends fake ID

So much more obvious than you're thinking

You hid a fake ID in your butt

Sigh

You were drinking an alcoholic cider

Didnt drink at all in this country til 00:00 on may 25 2007

And when was the car incident again?

I was 18, nayhe 19

Humph

You peed on the car

You're really not good at this

Truth

May I have a clue?

What's a very basic bit of info about me that everyone learns early after meeting me? For the most part, at least

Transplants

Yes. And what else?

One eye

Yes!

Keep on that track

What facts fo we have so far?

You totaled a car

And you have vision only in one eye

You were not supposed to be driving in the first place

I don't remember when you said you lost your vision

You are so, so close right niw

I wish

You drove the car

I haven't had depth perception since i was 13 is part of the vision question

Overall, i think i was 22? Maybe 23 or 24?

You had 15 Guatemalans in the back seat, all of whom were here illegally

You knocked down a light pole

Nope

I really don't know what you want me to guess here

I've never had a license

Totalling a car you dont own and causing significant property damage when you're a legal adult isn't a great move but ive never had so much as a documented interaction with law enforcement

I thought we established the licence thing early on!

Established what about it?

That you have never been legal to drive

I'm gonna lock you for this 😜

Lick you

Mmmk

Totalled a car - driving alone- without ever having a license

I'm kinda badass

Sucks to suck at guessing, i suppose?

Lol I guess so

Was the accident a direct result of lack of proper vision?

No

Whose car was it?

My grandpa's. No one cared that i drove it and i was just going to work so that wasntia problem, really

It was his and not being used then

Aww geez

He was still alive, if that's a concern

So how did you avoid law enforcement action?

That's still a really good question. Honesty, i guess? And i was nice?

Apart from speeding tickets, I've had two run-ins with the law I think

What was it?

Of speeding tickets I have had 4 I think

The other 2 run ins?

Ive kind of had some but not for me

The first time, my chums and I figured out how to get on the roof of the University Mall in EL. We were throwing snowballs at jocks in the street. Everybody was having a good time, but we were hauled into the station and warned about trespassing

Nothing really came of it

Fun!

And the other?

With much of the same crew, I was driving around town and they were spray painting a stencil that said "US out of Nicaragua". Got busted for that, fined, restitution, and a couple trips to court. Oops.

Giant smile from me

Lol

For real

Well I'm fading out here sweetie

Ot was a sleepy day for you

It really was

Heading to bed?

null

Same.

You have No. Idea. How. Much.

 ​❤️​ to “ Same.

You have No. Idea. How. Much. ” 

Sweet dreams

null

2024-10-28T04:19:20

Good morning babe!

2024-10-28T05:23:45

Hey babe

null

Hella cute, amiright?

🥰

Hella cute yeah!

Hahaha

How are you?

Doing great!

Not really wanting to get ready for work but I guess that'll be ok

How are you? Did you sleep well?

Kinda same but a little unwell

Why are you office today?

I slept ok i guess

This is my laptop space...

null

Featuring Helpful Helperton!

I'm going in bc RLH has an "organizer" coming over for a few hours and I don't want to be around for it

His face is just like.... nah mum. We cuddle instead, no work

I professionally organized for a time

You could retire from the income in my house

I also have lunch with Patrick today, so I don't have to be in the office all day

Nice

Any idea where?

What are some of your fave greater lansing eateries?

We were talking about going to Fleetwood. That is one of my faves.

Others include Aladdin's

...?

Jerusalem Bakery,

And a lot of places I have not been to in literally years

Such as?

I have local adventure ideas if you're ever interested

Hard to even remember names lol

I used to go to Blaze regularly
EL Azteco
Deluca's... Have not been since they reopened
Oh and Lansing BBQ -- which actually has the only banh mi in town that I am aware of

Sorry that's Capitol BBQ

Kelly's has a nice grilled cheese too

How abour Horrock's (esp the soup bar and the olive bar... sold in to go things and amazing choices plus just cool food and they have gelato and tons of cheese and lots of cool alcohol and a legit bar!), Ozzies (ozzys?) in Okemos, woodys over near mt hope rd.....

Not local but i kmow how to customize the best grilled cheese at Panerai

Nice! I've never partaken of Horrocks on site offerings. It's always so busy. I have been to Ozzy's a couple times. Panera is funny... I've literally never set foot in one, but I've eaten it a dozen times. Unfortunately had a bad experience with the grilled cheese because they did not leave the bacon out 🤢

Well that makes sense about you avoiding panera

I hear about a lot of good stuff in downtown EL

And i HAPPEN to know of good thrift and/or book shopping near all of these ;)

Haha what good fortune!

I'm actually not all that picky or tied to restaurants. I can find something to eat in most places, even if it's just junk food. I have no problem with that at all.

Same!

Ugh. Can you come find my cord please?

Nvm

Under your desk? Why sure.

It was lol

Can I plug anything in while I'm down there?

Yes, please!

😘

Fave chips/crisps?

Probably Ruffles sour cream & cheddar. Better Made any flavor is a fave too

Sour cream and cheddar is correct! Lol

S&V would have been okay as a treat option

Oh yah!

Onion cheddar is the best answer but alas we arent in The Isles

I love the variety offered on the right side of the pond

Yes, the RIGHT side indeed

Ikr? Funny how that worked out

Did you ever tell me if you have fond memories of storybook characters? Like Velveteen Rabbit, classic AA Milne, R Scarry, Goodnight Moon, etc?

I need to know things you were really fond of at earlier stages of life plz

null

Sadie's fall dining area

Well isn't that lovely!

null

I made a magnet this morning

Oh you made this one? That's fun

Decals + trimming + old business magnet i covered

Kewl!

I'm trying to recall my childhood literary heroes

I actually read a lot as a kid

Me too

A lot of fiction. And I read every astronomy book in my elementary school library. Twice.

I definitely read Narnia, wrinkle in Time, you know about PT, but I'm drawing a huge blank

A Wrinkle in Time? All 8?

There were lots of books in my room

They're sooooo weird

The WIT series

WIT no just the first

Hitchhikers Guide?

And a bit of the second

HTG around 7th grade

A Wind in the Dood

*door

I know that title..

Ofc

I never owned it. Borrowed from my pal

A Swiftly Tilting Planet

Many Waters

(I forget the last one)

Then 3 more that follow Meg & her kids later in life

WITD is WIT #2

Htg? Meaning Adams?

All 5/6?

Sorry HGTG

HGttG

Uh-oh

42

Yep

Lol

So long

Thanks for all the fish!

Maybe we should dine at The Restaurant at the End of the Universe

We totally should

We can share The Salmon of Doubt

You'll be pescetarian for a night

Lol!

Who was the character that wanted to be eaten?

Soandso from sunnybrook farm?

null

Almost entirely dragons here

When I was younger, the "What makes it go, what makes it work .." title was a favorite for sure

Plus that duo of fables and mother goose I showed you a while back

null

Lol there be dragons

Ope - fixed the hazard

null

Part of this one is getting better

null

Gotta move the oldest pub in ireland away from Disneyland and put her with her iriah kinfolk

null

Lol I think I have to get over my loathing for Harry Potter

null

You should

It's a fantastic world

I should be more into The Shire but it's so in deoth i would never lwave that rabbit hole

Besides, i kinda have these rabbit hole things already

null

null

null

Literary literalness

I like me some books & merch

Maybe got you some stuff & things along the way

You still wanna learn how things work and whatever?

I still do

Kid books for you then

Not a bad choice actually

When I was in 1st grade I often volunteered to read to the class. I loved doing that.

I could even hold the book open for the class to see the pictures, just like the teacher lol

Omg same!!!

One reason i loved reading aloud (popcorn style or in a row or however it was assigned) was because i hated how little passion everyone else had, and i knew how to pronounce things better. And i voiced characters lol

I can write upside down too

Job skill from before AF

I know a lot about a lot because of kid books

They're informative, fun, short attention spanned, colorful, comprehensible, and almost always cheaper than boring adult nonfic

Ok I cannot write upsidedown but your description of the reading aloud is EXACTLY what I would say and do

Like.... no Tim. I font want your monotony and missaying in my life today. My ears are happy, let's keep them that way

Dammit Timmy

True story

He's a published author at least twice over now, and works as a journalist at Politico

https://recordshowsofamerica.com/category/michigan/

Lol small world?

Why small world?

You know Timmy?

Timmy knows you?

A particular Tim, and yes. Once a nemesis

All my homies hate Timmy

Do you even know the person to whom i am referring? Lol

What's your work today, btw?

I am dual working - rehabbing books and reviewing claims

No, i do not work in claims. And have not.

null

My work today is mostly for profit sharing

Reviewing loss and premium development for specific agencies/policies

Also validating our Azure DB is updated correctly, to support reporting through DCP

No play today :(

I'm surprised you don't have a cat up in there lol!

Garage jail

null

You have carpet in the garage?

No, this is my croffice

It's why they are now in garage jail

Oh lol!

Yeah

Broken shit isnt so great

Whatcha doin after work?

Monday chores

Then ?

Mhmm mhmm

Idk

Have been making good progress around here

I was going to mayhe make some food but i also tont to go somewhere (lol, shocking, i know)

Do you know what you'd like for food on wednesday?

Dessert already planned lol

I don't know. Are you dessert?

I have not been eating much lately tbh

I have yet to eat in your presence

I think i would like to try

And that was my thought, plus i have rediwip....

null

Found a toy!

Haha nice

Between pink, chrome & floral, tie die, and blue + dipsy dots, which would you prefer? I have an idea but you know you best

Tell me more about blue + dipsy dots plz

Royal/navy background, randomly placed and organically shaped (imperfect) white dots all over

It is plastic, other choices are mostly metal

Remind me to describe something absolutely ridiculous

Ok we're not talking about clothing here

Nope

Let's roll with that one then

Blue?

Yep

Cool

Ps - if you need to focus you have to tell me to shush

I have a fun fact about my appendix!

Just got reminded last week

Is it that you still have one?

Or did someone use "vestigial" in a sentence?

If you were making progress on a goal, which preposition would you use? Not use?

Oh - the appendix answer is that we can't figure out if i have one/part of one, or none

Sorry can you please clarify the preposition question, and perhaps propose a preposition par example?

Say the progress is 96% happy and goal is 98%

Someone might say "making progress toward the goal of 98%" or "sharing the progress against the goal"

Which would you use in a business communication?

I have my opinions and arguments for several choices

Preposition indicates direction, literally or in mental perceptjons

In that choice I would definitely say "making progress toward". It's vanilla, but it's clear what it refers to, where the second option is unclear to me

That is not what the AF org chose

They opted for "progress against"

I can see that too. I'd have to think about what, if anything, drives a preference for 'against'

I just realized I read the example wrong lol

It's grammatical but not the preference of tone for my idiolect or vernacular

I'm headed to lunch though and will be radio quiet for maybe 90 or so

Something new and not so great just happened

Oh mo

Enjoy!!!

I'm fine, just couldnt convince my bones to move for a few because my brain and body were on separate wavelengths or something

Lol go bones!

2024-10-28T13:47:36

I'm baaaaack

null

Pretty!

Try not to set the place ablaze

Eyyyyyyy

I somehow acquired a brain full of stuffs today

null

Kind of a fun hobby of mine l9l

Post work adventuring this eve?

Sorry for my crazy energy levels

I think I just had a sugar crash and I'm coming back out of it actually

I got really sweaty all of a sudden

Got myself a kind bar and I'm sort of waiting this out in my car

The best way i can describe them is that all of a sudden your whole body is weak, focused on finding sugar and not on anything else, yiure sweaty and feel a deep shaking like every cell is now vibrating to alert the others

Sometimes a quick mood shift too, maybe a little dazed or confused or both, and sometimes parts of you go numb

I didn't get that far along but I could feel dizziness coming on and my legs were a bit shaky

Just remembered I have a few ricola in my bag so having one of those now

Ive been insanely far before and it's awful

Load yourself with quick sugar to a point (i try to stay around 30 carbs but that's years of practice)

Once you're more stable have protein and add in fat and soke more carbs. You wont go sky high or recrash

Perfect I can load some yogurt when I get home

Whole milk kind lol

Yep

Wait until you feel better, then time at least 10 or 15 mins from that point to start to drive

How are you doing?

Much better

Good 👍

I was already driving when I saw your advice

Oops

Are you breathing okay? Heart racing anymore?

Vision?

All feeling good, perhaps high pulse still just a bit

Is all your fine motor function vack to baseline?

Fingers slightly jittery is all

The racing pulse might linger

Neurotransmitter hormones be clingy lol

Dang

I need to watch these lunches

Did you eat at all today?

I wont chastise you

Yes, reg breakfast, then lunch

Can you tell me what you had?

Bran flakes and milk

I really thought about being a dietician. I have more than enough knowledge

What was lunch?

Tempeh burger with side order fries

The burger was on a white bread bun--something I don't usually eat

And I don't usually eat French fries at lunch

But I know from before this is about half again as much as I really need to eat at a time, if not 2x

I felt the carbs starting to swing in me within about an hour

I have an inkling why you went hypo, or at least had the symptoms

Side note: are you staying in now?

No wromg answer

Just me and my anxiety asking

Am I staying in tonight? Yeah

Not sure what you meant though

I'm interested in your theory

That's what i meant

Theory (because it happens to me a lot): too many carbs at once without enough of a satiety nutrient to accompany them. Your pancreas dumps out a bunch of insulin to unlock your cells so they can receive the sugar as a nutrient but your pancreas doesnt get the "stop sending insulin" message until after you've been done consuming the carbs for a while. The extra insulin makes your glucose drop more and your liver is balancing with tiny amounts of glucagok to keep your levels steady but the macros are way off from your norm so your body sends alarms (shaking, sweating, etc) to let you know you need external input to help itself regulate because your body knows something is "off" and your survival brain can find a way to fix itself faster than relevelling between hormones, so it makes you food focused and all that

Oh I also had more caffeine than usual today, about 2x

Very interesting!

TLDR: too much sugar, spiked glucose, adrenaline dump from extra caffeine, unsustainable energy levels, insluon compensates, you fix it

It happens to me probably once a week

I can always test you if you feel like it

Could possibly use your help.... and i still have talkpics lol

Ty Dr Becca!

Tempeh is good protein, but I don't think overall that lunch is what I should be eating

And it was a lot more carb load than I would feed myself at home

Ideal macro is supposedly 40-30-30, carb-protein-fats

I have a differebt but similar theory

I dont eat pizza, not really (variety of reasons)

One reason is that because it's mostly fat and then mostly carb after that, the fat delays the carbs from getting into your system. Then a few later you have the carb surge out of nowhere and subsequently drop because there's no protein or satiety to carry the sugar spike through. Instead of a steady line of nutrients (like the ideal), you instead would have straihjt upward spike then drop in my forst theory or steady/small drop then upspike then low drop in theory 2

Anyway

:)

Thank you

You ok?

(This is a subject switch)

Yeah, ish

That kinda knocked the wind out of my sails

Did i do something?

Please expound

No no, not you

That spell I took has left me listless and a little depressed

I just want to go to bed

Oh. Yes.

Then do that. Your body is recovering

I will. It will be an early night

It isn't just recovering from needing sugar, it was pumped with survival instinct that used stores of hormones and energy that was saved and is now depleted

You could have been being chased by a wolf for all your hippocampus knows, all that brain spot knows is that there was a threat and now you are safer so it's okay to rest and regain what was spent

Well I'm glad you are feeling perky at least

I will explain this in relation to me at some point. Now isn't an appropriate time

What else is going on with you now, or do you need some space?

(Some quiet)

If it won't be a hair hazard (falling out of your mouth onto a pillow and into your curls), chew some gum. Or ice. Trust me on this

Ok I can do that

Sour gummies or spicy, crunchy things work work too

If I'm being terse its only because I feel about 30% functional rn

You are ok

All you have to say is quiet and I'll know not to expect more chat from you today

Dealing with spouse , one moment

Ok all set once again
I'm eating and in bed, ready for countdown to sleepy town lol

What's going on?

Oh she ordered food via door dash and expected me to be waiting by the door. I was elsewhere

Im sorry

What else is going on?

Not much

Just sitting here in bed lol

You're not a burden, you know

Thanks because I feel like one right now

I am well aware, lol

Please tell me more?

Really?

Yes

Is it so obvious

Well I don't know what to do with myself, and bedtime is my go-to response for that

Which works because the sugar coaster left me feeling drained

And here you are being nice and I'm a mood because hormones or whatever lol

Wild 😄

I know

Serious: am i not nice otherwise?

Btw, it's called "escapism"

Talk to me more if you have capacity

I decided not to press a point on RLH that I was not and was not interested in waiting for the delivery. Instead I say on the toilet for 5 minutes just starting at the floor

Icky depression feelings

But better than a fight, especially now

So I'm processing that off as well

I feel very vulnerable like this

But I know I will feel better in the morning

What feels vulnerable?

My soul lol

My heart

How does it feel vulnerable?

As in, what fears do you have about what might happen in this state of vulnerability

That I will lose my temper and snap back if I'm provoked

Okay, then what would happen in the worst case scenario

I really lose my temper, cause a fight, and one of us leaves the house. Or both.

Honestly this is not close to happening though

I just need to rest

Good night then?

You don't have to go

I want whatever is best for YOU

But if you need to it's ok

What would be negative about losing your temper

It's extremely unpleasant for me, physically, because of the adrenaline

Which in turn screws up my emotions

It's difficult to recover from that

It's not worth it

Not today anyway

Oh, and serious, yes you are nice otherwise

If you were here I'd ask for a hug

And probably cry this off

Tomorrow, whenever youd like

I know I will feel better tomorrow, but I'm happy to get the hug anyway!

Believe it or not I'm getting a bit fadey already

So xoxox for you!

And I hope you have a good night

Very sorry to ask, but... do you realize you're not saying it?

I love you babe!

I love you too

❣️

It that what you meant?

Indeed

😊

Ok

I love you deeply
Can't wait to be with you again!

Me too

Beaux reves (de moi)!

🥰

2024-10-28T23:49:31

2024-10-29T01:05:19

Okayokayokay sorry that I'm really unhinged as i type this but I'm a little bit super rx hiandisj and omg i want you and i want you to be here and i want to try all the things. And I regret to inform you that you've transformed me into some kind of greedy little monster of a slut because all i ever want to do now is have loads and loads of sex and snogging because i know what's waiting and why do people ever get out of bed if they can have orgasms?

Really though, i was trying to tell you this absurdly ridiculous thing i realized earlier - it's that my body and especially my pussy and perhaps that incredibly sensitive bean baby clit of mine is madly swollen. My body has never insisted on craving and needing something like this before. Well, maybe, but not in this these places. Pardon the crude colloquialist who's been lurking here all along - is this "horny"?! It's mad wicked!

I've wanted touch, wanted kissing, wanted caressing, wanted to feel sharp thrusts and dull aches and the burst of someone into me with their whole essence of being while i bask in a gliw of absorbing the energy created my the most luxurious act of kinetics resulting in carnal momentum but this arousal is an awakening of a truly different, wildly alive sort

My mind is obviously racing in an attempt to live out its current realistic fantasties with you in a shorter duration of waiting than possible and holllllly fuck am i sending requests up and down to every force and deity in this and any other universe that you'll still have me and take me and not be thwarted by how much love i have in me for you and how much more of you i want to take in

Kiss me lick me tease me edge me play with me love me suck me press me flip me turn me toss me pull my hair push me back get me off so much i get dizzier this time than the ones before and the ones before that

Just please stay with me when i cant figure out what to do with all the radiance emanating in the heights of high from the seratonin, the dopamine, the oxytocin, the you and the me and the love and the weed and whatever else. You arent even here and I'm still yet clambering for how to make it through this fleeting instant without needing an inflict of pain to ground me back down from this floating cirrus circus space

Fuck

I want love and passion and tender and rough and worship and praise and no pain and no thoughts at the same time that i wont be able to remember what i want to keep forgetting that's engrained in me that i think you can fix and that i want to bandage over for you

I'm ready to feel nothing and to feel it all with you and for you

Alors, je t'aime

J'ai hate de vous voir, moins que 36 heures

This will be weird and i dont know how well I'll handle it but i think i feel i trust all of you

You need to absolutely take every reign for this magic carpet ride, genie

I wish for our corporal and cognitive freedoms if for only but a time

Once this swirl storm of temptress tempest builds to an eye, i wont know what to do

I feel like i might just not exist anymore while your farr to perceptive eyes flicker over these blips on a phone

I feel good. Still pain, but i just feel good

What if it kills me? I want you and i want so much more of this and so much more et cetera et encores et plus qu'est trop merveilluex but i dont think i know I'm still here without agony

Desole, mon cher petit chou. I am safe just lost in a forest of bewilderment and searching for my companion to bring me back

I dont have a way to know if you feel these thoughts of think the emotions - both of which are intended as their opposition but so are the mixes of life and love and hurt and heart and heal and pain and pleasure left here with panic and pleasing and pining

Oh what to do, what to do

2024-10-29T05:49:52

Et bon matin, monsieur

My dear! My dear darling good morning!

How are you?

I feel well, rested!

And surprised and amazed and so overwhelmed and happy to see your missive. Beautiful!

How are you?

I'm okay thanks

Perhaps a touch less crazy

You write with fierce passion my love

Possibly

I want you to have everything you desire

And apologies for typos, as always

Do i detect hesitation at anything?

I hope not!

There is no hesitation

Okay :]

Any further commemtary?

I'm awestruck really.

I love knowing this is how you want me.

And I want you this way too

I wantbyou a thiusand other ways and more too

I want you to have all the things

Have you ever had rough sex?

Intense, but not rough

Can you tell me all about it? Play by play, even

Honestly no, not accurately, it was long ago.

But it lasted a long time. *I* lasted a long time. Many positions. Much sweating.

Pretty sure it was after a night out drinking

Thanks

Anything in particular stand out from my manicifesto?

A passage, a word, a theme

Other than passion

It can be negative too

What stands out with the sheer passion is how freely you express yourself. You don't seem to be holding back/reserving some part of your desire or story.

More often you reveal things in measured and calculated doses. I noticed this the day I met you

It's very hot!

Okay, thanks 👍

You seem to describe yourself as "crazy" when you wrote that. Can you tell me more? Why is it crazy? Or Why were you crazy?

I dont think normal people think or feel that way

It's intense and a rolling stream with a million tributaries all competing to descend in the waterfall

Well I think normal people can be dull

But what do I know

You mentioned Rx. What was/were they?

One hydrocodone, one oxycodone, two methocarbonal

I was in really intense pain

Which makes me think i wasnt actually high, but that's close to how normal people deel evwry day at a functional level and i just dont get fown to the zero pain baseline anymore

Does what i just said make sense?

Sure does

Thanks

I think i told you once that i should be a whole lot smarter

That's one factor

Perhaps you already are ;)

What is your typical, day to day pain level, sans opiates?

And you must know I'm not judging for using them

I know

But i also dont take them that often, esp for how much i think someone else would beg for pain relief at my levels

I think my everyday functionality never goes below a 4 and hovers around 6 on that very useless common pain scale

Is that what you're asking?

Yes, precisely

Thank you

I take narcotics once a week maybe. Sometimes less. Rarely more

And i have other meds that sometimes help make a difference (like compazine or phenergan or sumatriptan)

Thank you. It helps me to understand your pain to know these things.

Are you at work already?

I wish I had not slept in quite so much lol

I am wfh today since i am in office on Thursday this week

Oh cool!

I dont take the drugs not because of any fear of addiction or because i hurt less but because they just don't work unless i take a massive amouht abd i would much rather be a contriburing and productive human

I use a lot of otc lidocaine patches and almost always have a heating pad/pack and instant ice packs with me. And i have weird needs to just stretch RIGHT NOW or use a roller or rennis ball against the wall or floor to address a specific area

When i am overly pained and nothing is helping it's really evident in my mood, speech, body language, and attitude. And pleasantness

All makes sense. Thank you.

Do you feel a little better now for taking stuff last night?

A little

Actually physically manipulating some of myself in a tactile fashion has helped a lot

Like, seriously hard hard pressure some places and a ton of heat

Atill shaky but not as terrible as it was

Ok (:

Did you know I'm usually shaky and sometimes stiff because of that and pain, esp in the office setting?

Awkward question

I think you mentioned something similar to this. It's not very noticeable, but I totally get it

Why do you think that's an awkward question?

It's not - i meant that i have one to ask

I always try to forewarn you in case you want to duck it

Ok, fire away

If i beg, barter, and plead, would you rub the life out of a spot or 2 that i cant reach? I might cry but the hurt would be so, so good

All you need to do is ask :)

Okay 😀

This is me asking

Will do! You just need to guide me there

Put your hands on me and I'll be happy to

It does make me nervous

I can't wait!

But I will be gentle until you tell me not to be

Not gentle. Hard.

Need to get to the right spot first, but yeah

It's very possibleni will cry

Thx for the warning
You know you best, and I trust you

What time do you want me tomorrow?

Well, first i was going to ask if you wanted to do anything this eve. No prob if you cant

What time works best for you tomorrow? What adventures are we doing?

This evening is a possibility. Let's entertain that today!

Tomorrow I can be there at 0800

We can start with stretching you, rubbing you, and go from there

Okay cool!

I am going somewhere after work (havent decided which place yet) but i am giving free hugs to amazing lovers, so there's that i guess lol

Yay!

Do you feel like i use you in any negative capacity?

Certainly not

Okay :)

Please let me know if you ever do, even in the slightest

Did you ever fix RLHs licensure? Just wondering how it went

null

Puployee of the year!

Her DL? No, she did it. It was fine. But took her a bit

Shit I have to do mine

I can do it for you

Did you vote yet?

I did! And I confirmed it was re received but the clerk

I was gonna look up yours too lol

Because I'm nosey like that

Mine is on my kirchen passthru lol

Better get that ballot in Missy! The courts are to trying to fuck around with early and remote voting.

I planned on taking it to the ELPL

Good 😊

Omggggggggg

2024-10-29T11:27:56

Wassup?

What are your actual plans after work today? Assume i can do mostly what i want

Honest answer is I have none
I am however subject to persuasion

I am going shopping (surprise)

I am also alone here all day and back to the routine of "here's a pile of work, get it done" so i can make an hour or so available for some other hands on activity if youd like

You can say no to both or either or ask questions or whatever

Well I'm stuck here until at least 1630 fwiw

I should probably stick around here. Gotta get up early tomorrow:)

Oh? Whatever could you be doing??

Workin that thang you know

Jesus fuck that's exciting, eapecially now in my state of mind

And are wr prepared to elevate my inebriation experience or not so much?

Oh yeah! Thanks for reminding me. I gotta get that in my to go bag

I feel so dumb not evwn knowing how to smoke

😉

Is it going to hurt a ton?

Not as long as we go easy with it. Will not hurt a bit.

Though i still like the idea of you heting me in a good way

God I'm fucked

I take it you said hitting and not hating

Or heating?

Hurting

I think i know why

If that helps at all

I'd be interested to know

And if you want, we can do some doggy style and I will spank you. And talk about it. What say you?

I say oh my goddddd i want you now

Id like to try a lot of positioning as long as you're patient and not critical of anything

You want to talk about spanking? In what way?

I'll ask if you like it

When Daddy spanks you

I think i like the idea of you hurting me for a few reasons

I obv associate sex with pain. This will sound bizarre, but SA doesn't always hurt but it also still does in the memory in places of your body. After enough oww over years, i get sort of aroused (but not really? I feel throbbing but it's at the bits that have been really hurt before) anyway, and i get wet. I feel pain, my body thinks it knows what's coming next, and it prepares, it's not something i think about it just happens and it's so, so bizarre to feel

I also like the idea of me making the decision and controlling if i have directed pain or not, and i have trust in you that's necessary for me to believe I would be in charge of what i feel and when and how intense. I've never had that kind of control at all

If I can make that pleasurable for you without feeling gross, I will do it. I think I know where my line is, but I've never actually been there

That said my estimations are conservative, and you can always--always-- say no, or stop

You are indeed in control.

I also know that SAed people can force their bodies to engage in sexual activity even when they're petrified and unattracted. It's natural defense so there isnt more damage

The control i seek is for me to trust you enough that i dont think about anything and you have ultimate power over me while i trust you entirely to make the best choices. It's surprises and excitement without actual fear lurking anywhere

I actually believe I understand that, even though I have not experienced it

People who do s&m for fun say trust is a foundation to the pleasure -- I get that at an intellectual level

I think I've made myself clear though. As long as it's fun for both of us, I'm down. You can always yell stop or safe word or whatever and I will respect that

I understand

I mean, i do but i dont know how to trust that 100% even though i do with you? Very complicated

I am Sure it is. All we can do is trust each other here

This might razzle your brain and I'm sorry: i do not understand that someone does not have a R fantasy

If you do then maybe we talk about it (for a lot of reasons) and i luterally do kot comprehend someone not having that in their mind

I hope this didn't flip a switch that I'm too weird now

No, you're every bit as weird as I thought you were and I absolutely love you for it still. 😘

When you met me, did i give off "totally fucked by lifetimes of intense trauma" vibes?

Not right away

Tell me more

What did i give off right away

Spouting facts across all fields of knowledge. Clearly a lot going on in your mind. Needing to tell stories and I was not sure why at first.

I still dont know why

They honestly just fell out of my brain through me mouth on out to you

Spouse doesn't even know everything you so

*do

That makes two of us doesn't it lol

I developed an interpretation the following week

Oh?

You liked me and were testing me

To see if I would run away or stay

That does happen

But it isnt an intentional test

Im just desperate to talk

Well I thought I wrote something down about this but I guess I didn't

It's all good. I literally told myself over the first weekend, "let her talk! She wants to tell you something"

And I wanted to listen, because you are so smart and witty and I wondered if this was going anywhere

And you knew what i thought about it going anywhere, when?

I'm not exactly sure. Probably sooner than me

Lol. That's a thousand percent true

Lol she says. Day 2, my guess

Yeah kinda

😊

So, what's up?

I just about fell asleep at my desk lol

I Need some tea!

The verbal or potable kind?

I've heard of herbal tea, but verbal tea?

(Gossip)

null

Mmhmmmm

Go find the drink drawer in my office

You'll want the tea box labelled TEA

There really IS another tea box in there without tea

Do you have tons of spray paint laying around? You kinda seem like the type

https://bad-world.co.uk/products/the1975?fbclid=IwY2xjawGOA2ZleHRuA2FlbQIxMQABHX2ktTqLBEP0UpozL7l-ckzm_eqNdKgnShSkETlVPkbSI8mvyJW0chaTbQ_aem_jPWFvK9wfqdTpTDSUs8WOQ

Coolest vinyl ever

That is sweet!

My guys ❤️

Aww!

Massive help.desk headache. Well that was fun

Oh ya

Dude, your infidelity is dangerously close to showing in Teams

You want some good news?

Aaaaaaaand is the house organized now?

Wanna give me all sorts of sweetness on my diaversary weekend when im here all alone?

Possibly Wednesday night or thirsday morning theu that sunday?

Nov 17 is the diaversadate

All alone on weekend? Hunting widow?

Yep

What a shame

Might have bad-ish news on something else

On phone now finding out

Oh boy

Yeah :(

Well now I'll just sit here crying

Plans changed?

More complicated than you'd be able to just think up. Total plot twist.

Still good for tomorrow

Still good for weekend of the 15th if you feel like it

It's on my calendar

Next week..... possible change of plans but not canceling unless you want

None of this involves L

Just figuring out of and how i want to tell you

You're not in any danger of anything

Ok thx

Yes. Dont panic :)

It just sucks

I would like some crying cuddles but they are unattainable for now

:(

What did he ruin for you?

This has absolutely zero to do with him

I havent even talked with him aince he left for work this morning

Oh

Mom made plans for you?

No. Just me and my medically failed corpus.

I'll tell you, i would just rather it not be a thing

I feel really vulnerable and embarassed and exposed and apprehensive of unknowns and i dont like this. And i dont want you seeing or treating me differently

Damn. Im so sad now. And it was a good day :/

I don't think you can tell me anything that will make me see or feel about you or treat you differently. But I won't force you either. If you want to tell me, I will listen

Either way you will get a hug!

Kinda got not a great test result so now i have to have another biopsy and it sucks

Bummer :(

Yeah

It's not like i can even talk about it or ask for support. And i hate the feeling of loneliness

And the procedure sounda barbaric and totally awful

Hey i love you

Hey I love you!

And I'm super sorry to hear of this upsetting news

You can talk to me about it :)

Do you think you know anything yet?

Other than my unintentional intentional vagueness

Did you mention a cyst a few weeks ago?

Last week actually

On a kidney?

Or ovary

Actually each

Crickey

This is separate

Oh, a new something

Kind of

Something I've been avoiding

Ah

Is this a new dx for you then?

Yes

And maybe more dx after this test

A new page of the ICD10 manual for you to put your name on

You really drew the short straws there

Do you want to know more?

I do

Always I do

Abnormal non hpv pap tests for a few of the last years, this year it came back with light indications of hpv with markera 16 and 18

So i have to go through with a colposcopy

You have google. Go ahead and look it all up

I would love if you could say something even if you hate me

I will

I do not hate you by any stretch of the imagination

I'm not unfamiliar with HPV, but it's been a long time so I will get up to speed again

Working in medical lab you get to know some things anyway

You are still as precious to me as ever

I care a lot and love you no less

Sorry you have to deal with all this

How do you feel about it?

I dont know what I'm supposed to think or feel or do

I honestly just want to crawl in bed and die now

I don't feel anything yet... Not that I don't care though

I dont know what that means

Are you upset with me?

Do you feel like I'm contaminated?

Do you want to stop everything between us?

No! Where are you coming up with these ideas.

I don't know

I don't think anything different

Than I did yesterday

I want to see you
And I want to give you a hug

And more

Are you sure?

It's okay to not want me that way anymore

Quit it Missy lol

I know you're not laughing, and I'm not either really. But do calm down

You're fine

I want you all the same as before

I am very deflated feeling

I know you are

null

This is how I feel about it

I just don't know what to think or do

I'm sorry babe

Let me know what I can do for you

Unless you say so my plans for tomorrow are unchanged

I will not say so

I am befuddled at you though

I just brushed up on HPV. I am not giving you up. Nope

Any more thoughts and feelings? I feel like you're withholding

I am not, not at all

Don't make me paranoid lol

Seriously though, I feel bad for you. I do not have personal issues with this

Okay

Maybe you just have to wait until I kiss you on the mouth

Then you will believe me, I hope!

I'll believe..... after

Ok :)

And you're still getting a hug too

FYI dont panic! If I do not respond promptly for a while

Okay

So..... ALL your plans and intentions for tomorrow would be the same?

And are the same rn

So my new dx doesnt deter you?

No. It does not.

Did I ever tell you what I used to do for delivery people?

Probably what i do lol

The first summer of COVID I started putting out snacks

Soda, water, crackers, candy, potato chips, etc

For anyone bringing something

It was fun. The mailman praised us, and we were thanked by the FedEx and Amazon drivers, many of whom we saw weekly or nearly so

I kept it up pretty well most of the time

I had to end the festivities last spring because the fun was gone

Our mailman of many years took a different route, and the drivers we see are random

And the kids and wife were consuming most of the stock

But it was a fun 4 years

There was a guy from Amazon bone time he said "oh yeah everyone at the yard knows 519"

That's exactly what i do lol

Hahahaha!

That's nuts!

Idk if you're the bad twin or the good one

I don't know anymore

So how are you doing

Yo

null

Heyyyyy

What's up?

null

How are you babes?

I'm doing well
Are you ok lover?

I am better

Mostly okay i guess. For now at least

Did you have dinner?

Not yet

Me either

Any idea what you'll have?

Actually no

I don't think about food much lately

I like my simple yogurt, blueberries, pumpkin seeds

And bran flakes, but I'm basically out of milk

Why dont you think about food?

I don't know

This has been a couple months

Maybe 4

I mean I do think of it from time to time, I just don't eat as much

As soon used to

Vis: yesterday's glucose episode following a thing I haven't eaten in basically 4 years

Anyhoo

Idk?

Is it a med side effect?

I don't think so. I have not changed meds in well over a year

Depression honestly

Like don't care

I get that

I will rescue myself with a bowl of cereal (the last one available) or yogurt last minute

Probably

Do you have food chez vous?

What would you like in the morningM

Yes we have food. Just nothing I want to deal with lol

Ah, so you have ingredients

I will have yogurt almost certainly! Which doesn't bother me a bit

Right

We have pasta and sauces

Veggies in freezer

Eyc

?? Lol etc

You should keep ready foods

Also tortilla and cheese .. which is a viable option

So there's leftover chinese in fridge from last night. I don't want to deal

And Amy's frozen thingies too

It is ok really

I have options

What are you thinking for yourself?

I don't know

What's on your ready, or nearly ready inventory?

There's a decent amount but i kind of feel like cooking

Might end up with some fruit and a birdseye pack though

I have a ton to do

Wow!

My mouth feels allergic but i havent had anything. Weird

Hmm?

I am having a pickle

You got pokey mouth?

That's my favorite food

Pickled things

Not pokey

What do you mean pokey?

Allergy mouth is sometimes like pokey and numb for me. Doesn't happen often

Mine i would describe as sandpaper rubbing against wet carpet

That is my "oh, im allergic to something I've eaten" mouth

I have new news

Please tell me

I'll be alone all this weekend

Ohhhhh

Is it so

And what would you prefer to be this weekend?

Hmm, good question

Hmm

I also had some of those little green olives with pimentos

:P

How confident are you in this statement you made?

Almost 100%

He has nature to stab

He told me he is going

So he'll be leaving Friday morning most likely

🤭

What would you like to do? I actually do have some ideas

Please share!

Idk what is feasible fyi

But would be good too think about now

Sry too/to

I obv like shopping. Lansing area and surrounding

I would probably enjoy lazing in bed

Cleaning or crafting are both good ideas

Idk

I kind of hit a wall of numb just now

Ok no worries babe

It's only Tuesday

These are separate streams of consciousness

Aha

I'm convinced it's cancer

Have you been previously dx HPV?

No. Abnormal non hpv pap test for a few years and i avoided the colposcopy

Now i get to have that done next wrek

Right

I would rather die

Oh babe!

Did you happen to read up on that procedure?

I did not

I read about HPV dx and prognosis

That was the lesser of my anxieties between these

I see

How can you be convinced in this way?

Because of my non hpv but still abnormal results from the last 3+ years that i was supposed to get the colp for and didnt. Kind of familial history but kinda not. Other symptoms.

Because I'm me and it fits into this cru3l joke of an existence

Sigh

??

When it it possible to know something concretely?

I'm so sorry

I know this is horrible for you

Youre the only one ive told

Colp is next friday. Results are supposed to be 3 to 5 days after that

I'm basically apathetic

Ok

I dont think apathy is an appropriate response

Babes I'm sorry

Like numbness?

Or ambivalence

Not really numbness

Like expected and of course and also i cant do anything about it and it was bound to happen and whatever else

And i wish life would just give me a break. A small one. Any time

And it sucks that i cant tell anyone

I wish it so too

I'm sorry

Thank you but i dont know why

I would change it if I could

This is just what was always going to be

And I will if I can

It makes me sad to see you get so put down

I dont know how to explain that it's probably my fault soni deserve it but that it might also not be. I have no way of knowing so i just stay straight faced

That's the truth

The latter

You're used to taking the blame

But i also had to have acquired it from someone

And if i wasnt such a whore this might not be happening

I really wish I could hug you now

I dont know that i could hug back

I'm pretty deep in the self hating pool right now, that's why

I know

I really feel like i have just been a waste of time and space and energy for the last 38 years. Like it was all some sick joke and for nothing

I don't know how much time I have in case RLH comes up here. If you need space tomorrow, just let me know any time. I would like to see you fwiw.

I was set into the world as a punching bag and a garbage dumpster for the universe to have fun with, abuse, and cast aside when i no longer serve any purpose

I would really like to see you actually

Ok Cool

My head has this banner of

So this is it? This is how it ends? Nothing. It was all for nothing and there was no greater picture or need for a marytr and i didn't change the course of anything or anyone. It ends withiut fanfare despite everything i tried and i fought and that's it, no meaning

Nothing has ended

I think it has

I wish I knew how to respond

I wish I could be there

Words in text msg don't work

They're better than what the alternatives were ao thank you

Ok. Yay?

Idk. Yay is good.

Do you know the other lines that are resounding?

I don't think so

That i played stupid games and won stupid prizes and being permanently tainted and dirty forever is because i decided to be a giant cheating whore so it's justified by the universe

And so I'm also sitting here on the couch now, i need pm pills and bed and some food and I'm freezing but wont even let myself get a blanket

Babe I know you're angry

Im actually not angry

I dont know what i feel yet, but that isn't it

Alright

I can tell im hurting you

Im sorry. I'll stop

I just wish I could actually support you some how

I'm also fading out

I love you babe

I love you too

I'll talk to you in thr morning?

I will come see you
But if you prefer another time or something just let me know

Either way, I will talk to you in the morning

I desperately want to see you and spend time with you

I want everything that we'd "planned" on but i feel like i cant ever ask that again

Let's talk about it tomorrow ok

I want it too

I wish i knew what that meant

Every thing we planned on

What about it?

That's what I want

Still?

Yes

Okay

Okay

Love you babe

Love you too

2024-10-30T06:17:37

Good morning :)

Good morning love!

How are you doing this morning?

Im ok thanks. Little frustrated with L but whatever

How are you?

I'm doing alright.

Still waking up

Had an icky dream right up until I woke up, which always leaves me kinda dazed

What happened?

Maybe I'll tell you later? Too many details for text

Okay

How is L bugging you?

He has yet to wake

Said he was going to bed really early last night so he could do OT starting at about 0500. He's supposed to be in office at 0730. It's very tiresome for me to me his mother all the time

Why bother?

Why bother with what?

His schedule

Why bother waking him up, you mean?

Lol yeah

Because he needs to go to work and keep his job

Plus i dont want him around here all day

And i dont want fallout if he doesn't get up

Fair. Im sorry
I do the same thing here sometimes

What's your day looking like?

I'll physically go wake him up after i take my temp and normal wake up stuff, then need a shower, then depends on what you want to do

I'd like to see you if you'll have me

Yes

If you have no restrictions from me, what would you want to happen today?

Talk about what's on your mind
Make out
Make love

And if you were being purely selfish, what would you want?

One sec, spouse

Am back

O hai!

😊

I would like to engage in those activities as well. And possibly assemble shelves or tidy this house or resale adventure. Maybe cook

Ok I'm going to take a shower :)

Same

Mine will always take longer. Dont worry if i take a sec to reply

Ok
Lmk when it's ok to come around

Just hopped out of the shower

Less than an hour til I'm ready. Will be sooner

Getting dressed and putting on mascara now

😘

So I'd say 15ish is fair

Just lmk when you're here

Fair warning i am not as ready as usual

No worries
I'm only 3 minutes away from

Hello I'm here

Down in a sec

2024-10-30T17:23:10

Heya

Well hi there!

How are you?

I am doing great

What's up? How are you doing?

Im okay thanks

Had a pretty fantastic day jist wish it could have been longer

Go wash your face

I was thinking the same thing. How did an entire work day go by so fast?

I did wash my face in your sink :)

Mmmmmk

Im still not gross to you?

You are absolutely not gross to me

I even put you in my mouth

I tried to chew you but restrained myself

Am i correct that i like when you suck on me?

You are correct. Especially on your neck and near your clit

I knew about my neck lol

You really enjoyed that

My neck? Yes

Heck you enjoyed that so much you turned me on!

I became aware of that lol

Was not my intention

I was selfish and wanted my neck kissed

🥰

Eat yet?

Just snacked on some peanuts until I can figure out for real what's good.

I am at a loss for what to eat here

Oh! Your venmo or cashapp or paypal or....??

Please

Ok I just set up venmo. Smartin108@gmail.com

You didn't have to set it up just for me if you did, but thank you

I dont like indebtedness

Nbd I had an account already, just needed to get the app set up

And thank you!

By the way

When you tell me you want me inside you

It insanely hot

And I liked it when you called me Daddy

What about when i tell you i had to shuffle my feet sometimes today because i felt you drip out?

😋

Iirc you said you like this?

Yes!

Well, in most cases

Def in this one

I find that very hot indeed

What can you tell me about it?

Sorry, got delayed

What would you like to know?

Tell me why you like cum dripping out of you. Plz 🥰

It reminds me i helped get you off, that you enjoyed me, and in general I'm back to being relaxed. You were dripping out at a remarkable speed..... not too quick (which would mean my body disnt want you in all the way in the first place) and not too slow (if i wasnt relaxing back to a good place)

It's physical and chemical and psychological

And it makes me wet all over again which makes me ready again because i want you more....

That is so amazing ty

What else?

Does it ever soak your panties?

Fwiw I don't think I gave you a big volume today :(

I can do better

Yes

And i agree, maybe, but i was chuffed

Yay!

Ty

No, thank you

Accurate that it's evident i like you cumming in me?

I. Love. It.

And I got your signal loud and clear

Not a single thing about it was concious

Can you say more?

Sure

I just let myself react today

I didnt play anything up or down

And whatever sounds and moves i made, i didnt think about doing them

You make the most adorable sounds

I don't think I've told you that yet?

Nope

Word. Every time you are in what I think is a happy place

You make the most joyful precious sounds

It makes me want you more

😊

It's magical

So are you

Do I understand correctly, there are periods where you have conscious memory lapses?

Or was that more a today thing?

What do you mean a today thing?

Specifics, if you can

Sorry I'm not asking questions well

I guess I'm asking how much you remember vs how much you feel remember? I don't know the right words

But I think you've told me before that you don't remember everything

You know I take good care of you, right?

Um, my paranoia is showing lol

Sorry babe--its the weed

You weeded?

Not mad

Yes

And I'm not really paranoid

Can you please drug me this weekend?

Just overwording because brain

I would be overjoyed to drug you

Do you think i am non remembering or mis remembering something from today?

No

I'm trying to deeper 💤 understand "nonconscious" -- I think that's what you said?

Oh, for that i meant i didnt tryyy to do any of those things

But also yes to the other

I have gaps in my memory a lot. More than i should

So i cant even tell you how thrilled and amazed i am that you keep talking things over and explaining them and reminding with me

Ok ty babe 😘😘😘

What else? Or do you need quiet?

I don't know what else, but I'm not quiet lol

I've cleaned and sharpened some of the chisels you spied today. Thank you!

:D

They are very nice!

Yay!

I do see things no one else sees lol

Also, your arms are hot as fuckkkkkk

My arms?!! Lok

Lol

Arms are my thing

Wowser!!

Like guys are boob men or ass men

Dang I've never heard of that

About guys?

Yeah

Arms?!

Some guys are leg men

It's arms for me

Golly

Thanks!

What is it you like so much?

They're lean and muscular for starters

They hold you above me for obvious purposes

They protect and embrace

They can wnd me or elevate me

*end or elevate

Haha! I do kinda like them. They're infinitely scarred from mosquito bites as a kid . .. I always picked the scabs 😬

Thank you for explaining!

You're welcome

Thank you for using them for the ultimate good lol

Did i still take too long again?

No, you're perfect

Are you sure?

Girl I love licking you

Haha, thanks

But i dont get it

Too bad 🙃

Doesn't it hurt your jaw or your mouth?

Jaw/tongue gets tired after a time, yes

But we loves it

How do you know what i like best? If i was silent

Lol

This makes twice

You said you were silent

But you were not at all silent

Sorry 🙇‍♀️

But in an AU in which i am...?

You were saying "yes" and "please" a lot

And other encouraging words

And chirping sometimes

It was quite lovely

And when I find the place you like

Actually places, for there are two

You double down your gyrating

So
Fucking
Hot

I had no idea i did that

You're quite involved

It's fab

I am the best of the pillow princesses

😘😘😘

Where do you think those 2 prime places are?

One is inside, one outside

The inside one is a bit more than 2/3 of my finger deep

And anterior

From inside you

Questions on that one?

Kind of

Mostly I'm floored and impressed

I think there's a sympathetic connection as well, in that the other parts of my hand make contact easily at that depth as well. 🥰

So much fun! For me

Really? Why?

I like your pussy

Lol but you like the parts that arent the most fun for you

Well I'm not sure how you're going to document that one babe

Source?

Do you have handgasms i am yet unfamiliar with?

No silly

Lol

Ok but really - what else do you notice while youre 2/3 in on one finger?

Well on the outside

Roughly opposite the finger within

Which is to say, anterior some more, to the skin on your fupa

Dont love that term, fwiw

Got it

Or you can re-name the abbrev

Actually a little lower, closer to your clit hood

Do you have a preferred name?:tbh I only use that because Reddit does. I've never been with people actually talking about such things

I'm in the same boat as you there

You know what it stands for?

At least whatever version I read yea

I dislike the "fat" portion

Noted!

I could also say Fun

But let's avoid the memey thing

Didnt know that was a meme

I was thinking lupa

I'm probably misremembering anyway lol

Ok to continue?

Def

Yum!

And this is where my face gets messy, because you want my tongue

Haha

And I want you to have it

But whennnnnnn have i said that? Hmm?

You didn't

Your positive feedback tells me this

And you actually do say

Right there

Don't stop

Right

There

Don't

Stop

Yes you do

Hahaha

And I am happy

And keep going

Thank you

If I had more mouths they would all be on you

All at once

Neck & pussy..... christ that would be too much

I did that exactly for a spell

Because you're fun sized!

Lol yes

I don't remember this

Must have been ultra intense

You made fun noises!

Oh - i kind of remember wondering where a noise came from at some points

More words please

Making snack one moment:)

Almost done

I had to pee as well


Sitting down

Lol

Heh

I still feel changes inside you, before you come

Not as obvious today

Did you even (come) properly?

What changes?

And what does "properly " mean?

Did you come?

I came as much as i wanted... for today it was perfect

Short answer is yes but not as over the edge as you had done before

But it was me controlling it

It is ok to respond "no, i did not come" if it is so, FYI

That's good to know. Thank you

So at that, my answer is still yes. Today was more of a steppe-plateau vs mountain peak. I can tell you how you would have noticed

Please tell!

I hold my breath and get super stiff/rigid and stay that way til i cant resist breaking it

Like holding kegels instead of releasing

Yess
I have felt this in you

And then you vibrate

It's so cute

But is it distressing

Can you say more on that?

I also get really cold

And my mind goes completely blank for a while

Oh!

And all my hearing is muffled

And my eyes want to sink into my head

I have a theory on that one

Oh shit I'm sorry. I could take quicker and more appropriate action

On what? No? Whatever you did was fantastic mostly. I have notes but you were saying..... (keep talking)

As in.... please tell me more about everything that made you distressed

2024-10-31T07:33:40

Good morning !

Hey

Sorry I fell asleep, and woke up late

No worries

I also woke up late

How are you?

I'm good! A little dazed yet, but feeling happy. Need coffee

Sounds wonderful

How are you doing?

I feel like garbage but I'm ok thanks

Cool cool. about to cry at work

And no one knows how to fix bcr1

You know these people, maybe? Cant you just tell them to flip the switch for me?

Oh I'm sorry!

It is what it is

I've never heard why bcr1 exists

...still?

Because we do what UH wants and they wanted to not change

Initially? We were in legacy systems like CI and PIN and whatever and it was new and supposed to transition to bcr4 and integrate

So is bcr1 all about support for Diamond policies?

Yes

And accupremium version 1

Dear god

Which, i may add, no one even noticed that zero collections efforts had ever taken effect on until i said something 2ish years after some policies had expired

That's a cool few milly i got AF back

I remember that

In addition to the almost 3 mil from just "oh let them pay when they want" UH nonsense

Dont worry..... im BU so no raises or awards or acknowledgement needed

Tmill and ksmith get those because they're louder

I will give you recognition and praise

Yes pleassssssssse

So good

And thank you, btw, for doing the one thing yesterday

I dont know if you saw what i imagine my face looked like, but there was basically heavensglow radiating from behind you at that moment

You get to guess now

Ohhhh??

Hmm!

Was it right about when you said "deep"?

No, but i def want and need more of that

We havent talked about this last one having happened yesterday yet. You knew i wanted it

Hmm! Was it during round 1, round 2, or neither?

Either 1 or both

Something I did... Something I said?

Did

I dont know if you know you eid it or not

Rather mundane, actually

Idk, flipping my hair around?

Bumping noses?

Ear nibbling?

Blanketing

Over you

But i always need more ear nibbling

And you can flip either of us or our hair anytime!

I am mid makeup and you're missing a good time

null

Damn girl! H00t!

Lol

I didnt even take a shower today

Woke up after 0630

null

Just got that in a group text

OMG lol

I am not lol

Diiiiiiiiiid you have any guesses?

Guesses for what?

Why i am not lol at that pic

Or the additional 4

Well I see arch-enemy dwarf on the right

You know which team this is then

Not really. I don't know diddly about how things are divided up

Right

It's the SBR team

Kirby is Snow White

.....how many dwarves do you see?

(I could not lead you closer to this answer)

Ok I wondered if that was Kirby. 6 dwarves

And you would be the seventh?

That's correct

Im so fucking done with this nonsense

Yeeeah

I used to be on a team like that

Meaning you're in literally the same building and they opted to not allow you 10 minutes to finish an actual work task before taking the group pic, the costume choice of which was decided without your inclusion whatsoever and the individual costume of which was the leftover but you dragged yourself into the office in agony and without really any sleep in a while and who the fuck cares anyway

Dont worry, i was scolded at 0811 for being snarky when i monotonously said i was not in costume and would commence such a task as soon as i could manage it

I'm half in costume. Was then too

It's some kind of wacked virtue signaling when people get together like this in the workplace.

Not my point but i don't think i care enough

Im going to sit here all day and do not very much

I hurt

This sucks

Im sorry

((♥️))

Just found out there isnt a timeline for bcr1 because they need to deploy it first but cant figure that out

I need allllllll of those drugs

You just missed me straight up ugly crying here. It was great

How are you doing?

Noooo way are you ok?

Noooooo way what?

Ugly crying??

Well..... i thought i was

Then i asked the woman who i was ugly crying to and she denied it

Which brought me to an interesting fact i dont think you know yet

And I'm meh

Did you want to know the new and interesting fact about me?

Not new to me

I do! Surprise me !

I cry without any noise at all. Like sometimes when i need to, ill engage in full on silent sobbing

When i was crying earlier it was waterfalls of tears and a lot of expletives but no one would otherwise know i was crying

It's bizarre

Has it always been this way for you?

I think so

Poor baby!

null

2024-10-31T13:34:48

I am mildly better now

However...

null

Zeroooooo people

And i am much cuter not as a dwarf

null

Found you some cute ideas

null

Scrolling back through pics, these are courtesy moi

null

null

null

 ​❤️​ to a photo 

Very cute and very crafty!

Where'd everyone go?

Not a clue, no one has been here all day in my wing

Did you know if you were going to be able to interact this weekend and in what capacity/ies you might like to?

I wish I could say right now. It would be so much easier if I could say "I'm going to hang with my GF for a while byeeee" lol

Early Christmas shopping??

Doesn't have to be a lieeeeee

Going off to clear your head?

Heh. If only I actually did that kind of shopping prior to 12/20

Head cleaning/clearing

I like it

Omg what kind of coroboration do you need?

I need some knob polishing?

Idk

I will literally send you home with 100 new fish for your aquarium ir you want

Whoa lol I need to finish construction on some things first

The stand is in pieces rn

I need to replace a bunch of wood parts

I might actually have to go to despot to return some stuff ..

And then get flustered, just leave there, try the other despots and have a terrible long day that takes several hours away from home?

Pity

Ikr?

She needs to go spend a day with Toni dammit

Gift it to them as a surprise?

Maybe a coworker found a deal on or was giving away (whatever) and no one else was biting on the offer and you felt bad for them being so nice at offering and you'd had a great day so you were feel8ng generous and wanted to gift (anywhere thay keeps her/them busy) as a nice gesture....?

Yeah if they hadn't just gone and rented a place a month ago I'd definitely consider it

Well that was fun too lol

When you blanketed - intentional because you kmew I'd wanted it or not?

At least once I asked if you were cold, but maybe I was just being nice :). You look very cute cuddling with your blankets 🥰

Lol thanks

BUT

I wanted to have sex under a blanket, if you'll recall

I do recall!

Kinda started going that way, but things got hot very quickly, in more ways than one

Youuuu started it!

Silly neck kissing boy

Oh i have a new escape idea!

Break your washer or dryer

Blame a cat for smelly blankets or whatever

Take tons of clothes and things to the laundry

I have a washer and dryer but as long as things go home clean with you there's no reason to think you didn't spend all day at a place that uses quarters

Hehe

Love the creativity! It would be odd since there's a coin op laundry 3 minutes from here

But that is an intriguing plan

Laundry takes time is the point

Yes, got that, but I probably would not hang out there if home was 3 minutes away.

Omg you're killing me

In any event, please let me know when you're available to help with something acute

Like you? Like now?

Like worky?

Or something of a more personal nature ..

Like i feel crazy and ragey and trapped and cant stand today any longer and am at a loss for how to proceed

:(

I'm sorry

I know

Inhaler. I can try that much at least for now

I always forget that

I love you and i miss you and i hate being crazy

I love you too! And I miss you too! I wish we could be together more often

Yes

Decided i needed to leave

Good girl. Escape!

Am home now

Think good thoughts

I'm doing it!

Thanks

Ended up taking benzo tablets

I am so screwed with some things

You can ask me if youd like. I cant guarantee I'll tell you

There is Nothing to do with you though

I might be faded if you respond but I'll fade back in soon enough

Ok babe. ♥️ Take care of yourself as you see fit.

Love you! ❤️❤️❤️

I love you too

I am calming down

How was your work day?

It was idk 6/10?

Not terrible nothing special

We're pretty chill generally

Sounds wonderful

How many of you are there?

I regularly interact with 3 , and now 4 people. That includes mgr.

I interact with about/less than that regularly within afg

I also attend several meetings every week with 4-14 people

Most of them are chill, but not all lol

I have no job and all jobs while my statis quo is schroedingered

It is insane

We should pretend work is just normal for now

I dont think I'm doing that well overall

I wish i had an answer. I know that's vague

Change of perspective

It's not possible for this one, not that i can see

But i appreciate that

I do love you

I will ttyl about it some time

Are things ok?

With you, now

This has me concerned

Yes ofc!

Okay

Okay abs

I want to let you wind down and relax :)

I am ultra relaxed

null

I am in a we4od salpq e

Weird space

Maybe the final straw i need

Fair the morrow

Or maybe sooner

But i am safe

Good. I love you babe

I l9ve you too

I hate how my story is going

And i am refusing to repeat chapters

Je dors

null

J t'aime

Okay

Je taime aussi

Omg sorry about that first one

It was an autoreply

Sweet baby 🥰

2024-11-01T06:30:47

Good morning!

Hi babe!

How are you? How was your samhain?

My Samhain?

My brain isn't working yet lol

Halloween

Samhain is the original Celtic

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Samhain

Pronounced more like "swain"

Well I'll be

Yep

I went to some traditional night storytelling and folk music things when i was there plus i love that stuff in general so pretend to know a lot about it

But yours was....? How are you today?

It was good! I had a productive evening, wired up the speakers I bought last weekend. Mini stereo amp arriving today hopefully. So my hobby room will have nicer sound

Very cool! You working all day?

As much as I can be lol!

We have a brainstorming sesh this afternoon for a couple hours. I will probably detach after that

HBU? Things calmer today?

So far so good!

null

Trying to figure out what i want to do later

Things were just uncalm in my head, mostly

Hi pretty baby!

Thanks!

Other big adventures planned?

Today, tomorrow, this weekend...?

Setting the clocks back an hour lol!

Yay! 🎉

Are you habing lunch or late donner or anything today or this weekend that i may companion with you?

null

Could be a thing this weekend!

Love the books!

Thanks!

What's the thing?

Habing a good work day so far?

So far so good. Except I have no motivation lol

The thing being me sneaking out to have you for lunch

Maybe this weekend

The world will not cease rotating on its access because you didnt have motivation today, lol. It'll get done ir ut wont

You trickster!

Lol

I'm trying to organize my to-do list so I know everything I blew off this week lol

Do you remember my suggestion for where to dine next time?

And i can help prioritize if you need (for real)

Hmm

I can't remember your food suggestion. I remember you mentioned Ozzy's.

Well yes... but if you dine at the kitty cat cafe. I had a positioning suggestion

Oh! Well I love me some of that!

I had a seating suggestion

Do you recall?

No I don't :(

Totally fine. I migjt not have told you

I lay with my legs off the side of the bed, you spread them, then you arrange yourself so she's face level for you

On your knees or cross legged or whatever

Could do the same on the small stairs in the bedroom

You did mention this!

Even spicier if you're wearing a skirt

An entire side of my closet is skirts

Excuse my drooling plz

Better save that saliva

Would you be able to measure your trunk, please?

null

Lol!

You want my trunk, as in length?

Maybe?

It's me and my lack of spatial awareness that's curious what sort of nonsense furntiure we could kind of parallel park fit in it

I'll barter services, l9l

😃

21 glorious inches?

Unlikely

What part of me should I measure? I got that one from YT

And you thought 21 inches was an okay idea!??!

My dude, i am 64 inches tall on a good day

Where is that 21 inches going

Sternum to crotch

Precisely qhwre ive been pre-filleted

See? Relevant!

Oiyeeeee

null

null

Lol the pink beans!

null

null

null

Iirc, it's a fave of yours?

It is. I think I can recite this entire record from memory lol

Cute!

Which character do you like best?

Probably Baloo

Nice

I obv have things to offer you now lol

The vulture barbershop quartet is a close second

Modeled after The Beatles

Yeah, they're hilarious

I started calling my dearly departed Siamese boy "Flaps" because of those guys

Aww

null

Newish random thrifted art i thiught you'd appreciate

Ha! That's cute

I love him! Super unique. Will refrane

*reframe

Am erasing books now

How is your day? What evening plans do you have?

So far so good here.

I might try to finish repairs on the aquarium stand. I'd really like to get that set up and start cycling water to make ready for fishy guys

Very cool!

I also need to get the aircons out of windows lol

I've been blowing that off

I have one i need to get that done with

Do you have one in your room?

Croffice

null

Nice!

Do you ever want big ol' speakers? Functional or aesthetic or (finding the idea i have, one sec)

null

Something akin to that

That is a great idea for a media shelf

Thanks!

What are you doing rn?

Sitting in a meeting

We're talking about building a data glossary to hook up to SharePoint

What would be in a data glossary?

Definitions of business terminology and metrics at first. Eventually (maybe) data quality parameters to display in reports as well

Hire me!

That opportunity could happen!

I am beyond qualified

We may well get approval to expand next year and if I had to guess, it would be for support and Jr analyst roles

And not bu

Hurray!

Yeah

I know how to use salesforce/tableau/more things i cant remember

One of the good things that is coming from the network breach is there is real concern for data governance

Have badges from them and everything

*attempted breach

??

There was a real intrusion

Mmhmmmm

No ex filtration that we know of

Interesting

Yeah, we will be ramping up a lot of work on my team and expect to hit resource constraints next year

Creative, technical, figure-it-out skills are what we like!

And nice. Nice is good.

And weirdly friendly and exceasively tolerant?

Omg such a helpful assistant

null

null

Lol!

Ted e Bear huh?

Sounds legit to me

You done yet?

Mentally, yes

Lol

Having some raw walnuts

Ew

Not into that I take it

They make my mouth insta dry like citric acid does

Ohh wait

That might be more than a dislike of them

Citric acid makes your mouth dry huh

Sour candies no go for you?

I thought we established that??

I'm alleegic to acidulate

Not like dying but it makes my mouth and throat weird

Like aandpaper rubbing on damp carpet

Guess I didn't remember

I might not have said so

But now i wonder about walnuts

My mother is allergic to pecans in that fashion

Walnuts can definitely do weird things in your mouth

Huh

They can be ascerbic for sure

Ive never heard anyone use that in real life!

Hottttt

Hee hee!

null

null

Either for you?

Already in my possession

Def the JW telescope! Probably the anatomy too :)

😊

Which ntl parks have you been to?

Geez idk. Not many

Olympic

Always a good time

Superior? Isn't pictured rocks one?

Oh - have you been to california?

I dont think there are any ntl parks in michigan. National lakeshores, forests, etc

I sit corrected - Isle Royale

https://www.nationalparktrips.com/parks/us-national-parks-by-state-list/

I've been to San Francisco twice on AF group business. That's all the Cali I've seen

More than i have

Can i go with next timeM

I would love to!

Im dead serious

I am too!

I did not get to see much, but I stayed right near the bay bridge. It's a neat place

Too bad Compwest doesn't have offices there anymore

Yeahhhhh

Ive been to Cape Hatteras too. Idk if that's a thing

It's not really my thing though. There's only so much beach I can take lol

Omg same!

Just look at my skin lol

So whatcha up to the rest of the eve?

See about that aquarium stand work, smoke, beer, ?

The last 2 should be over here

I know!

Please?

Believe me, I want to!

Another day, another soner ending for me

Sigh

Maybe i should just go shop

Darn it all

I am literay begging you to take my marijuana v card

🥸

😢

Maybe I can sneak over tomorrow afternoon

Me and my high strung sober self will likely be here

And Sunday

And alllll the weekend of the 14th thru at earliest that sunday night

If i skip over to frandor tonight do you want to join?

I can't. I'm sorry I'm kinda locked in

No worries

I would rather offer/be offered than leave someone out/be left out

Thank you :)

I treat others how i like being treated

If you feel like chatting, I'll be available

If you want quoet, let me know

You set the tone

I'm totally open for chatting!

Yayyyyy!!!!

Woohoo!

What's on your mind?

Well my aquarium project has hit a snag

Oh no! What?

I can't assemble the bits properly without adequate clamps. And I have always been clamp-poor lol

I just need to bite it and buy them

They're a bit pricey

How pricey?

I'm thinking 40 ish the pair, and I need 3 pair

That is, at most, like 3 hourw of work for you

A meeting and a half

Bite the bullet

Want a reward? For a good boy?

Hee hee! Maybe

null

Yesssss

Very nice selection

Oh yeah?

I just copy things i think you and i would like

Google "lazy doggy"

Yes ;)

Am familiar with this

Both i mentioned?

Easy on your back

Familiar in what ways?

The side position , this is the lazy doggy yeah? It's a good late night , easy going fuck

Nope, i sent you 2 different ones

Are you including the stairs option?

Nope

The first option is in the black bix white text

The next option: you should google "lazy doggie"

Ok

So

I know the text you sent , I know first hand

The second one I shall look up!

Ok the second one I have seen but not done and it looks fun!

I had hoped you were going to try on wednesday

Dommage

Now it's your turn

We nearly did!

I kinna think you wanted to flip :)

Ohhhh i wanted a lot

Still do

Yay!

I wanna

If you had me right now ...?

100% I would

Any day babe

Oh

I want to know what you want tho

Oil?

And lazy dog

Trust me on this

YES

That's what would have happened in my ideal world on Wednesday

So then what else do i get?

Well!

Let me think a moment


So complementary attire/decor?

You tell me

Ok just to be clear, your fave body oil is on the list

And then

Where are you?

In this scenario or right now irl?

Irl lol

On my bed

How about you?

In my subterranean space lol

Sorry if this is oddly familiar

Wish you were in my metaphorical basement lol

You smoke yet? Drink?

A little both
Been steam cleaning newly bared floor as well
Quite grungy

Mmhmmm

I have a question for you

Shoot

If you could be any character of any book, whom would you choose?

I don't know right now. Ive never been asked or thought of that

Who would you be? Who would you think I'd like to be? Who am i most closely akin to and in what regard? Same for you

null

Steaming off lol

 ​❤️​ to a photo 

Hey it's a joke

Lol

Youre very funny

And no fair not answering me

I love the pic!

And i am still thinking

Debated just saying things that are on my mind

I have no answer lol

null

Yes!

I may see a typo thoigh

But i could be wrong about that

I think there are both kinds? E vs O

Came out of Sparrow

In that case it's almost certainly wrong lol

Lol!

I still have the lab chair I got in that giveaway

It's the chair in my hobby area

Very cool

null

Which creature? Lol

Yes

The platter is surprisingly solid and heavy. Like a milk jug

Oooh cool

I think it's silver

But I don't see any marking whatsoever

Can't you test that somehow?

Hey wanna see something?

null

Sorry, none of that here

Ma'am I am required to view your escutcheon at this time

Well damn when you put it that way

null

That is quite top notch

Is this live?

Yep 👍

null

I'll be here all night

And tomorrow

And tomorrow

And likely monday

Allllllll alone

I will change this if I can 🥰

Wanna do somethibg for me right now?

You have very fine features. So beautiful!

What can I do?

Thank you?

I want either more descriptions of what you'd do if you had me all to ourselves right now

Or maybe show me in an adult video

null

I am a good subbie because one thing I can always do is lick you

Any time of the day or night

Maybe you need a little cleaning

Maybe it's pure pleasure you seek

Because at some point you will flip to hedonism

And I am a

Very

Cheap

Slut

I dont entirely know what that means but gods i want you more

null

Im so proud of you!

Thanks

Now come eat me out

Ah yes

Thank you for reminding me

And you can just call it out like you just did

And I am right there

**please

If the day was entirely about your physical pleasure, what would it look like?

Waking up having sex because morning wood is a thing

Pleasant time for coffee, cereal, toast, or whatever com a to mind

Shared with my baby

Maybe even made by her sometimes

Studying whatevs for a few hours

And sweet baby might interrupt

And that is so fun

Bc she is so hot

And leisurely lunch of fresh things and pickle

And proper siesta

With sweet baby of course

Bc fuck me she is so hot

And when we are both refreshed

We fuck for an hour

How am I doing?

Believe it or not, we collab on things. Not just sex. Although that. Is. Fucking. Amazing.

How do we fuck?

Every way we wants it

On such a day of days

We can cover a lot of ground

I. Want. Details.

Hahahaha!!!

Which time was that exactly?

When we wake up

You find me hard

What do you do?

I reach down and see what im working with

Then i pop in a mint

And i lick you base to tip, swirling your top section like the dollop on an ice cream cone before i swallow you whole and come up for air and a quick game of tonsil hockey

How delightful!

Should I insist you mount me, or if I push you off, do you want me to flip you on your back

You know that answer

Well?

I do indeed

You've become quite wet!

I know because you're soaking my knee

Ummmm

https://open.spotify.com/track/6ScAlEJMG9blbwk8wXTkjl?si=G3qOzVTTTBSWlzi_qEB6dw

Just a weird happy suggestion

Sorry what were you confused about

Your knee is wet

I know why i would think it is, why do you think so?

null

Gorg

My knee is wet because it is in your crotch

Oh yeah?

And I feel things

Tell me more

You cant be here now but i want you and i wanna do things and fuck but that's not possi le so i need details and dirty imagery

I am basically humping you with my leg

I extend towards your crotch

You press back and we find a nice thing

So nice

So I can kiss your neck too

And make little noises

And lick your ear too

And

Beeebeeee

Lol lotsa langue

And touch you as you like it

I like that

More please

I want you to be a little selfish

I'm about to do a time lapse

But it's of a different sort

Think of this as a rehearsal

Mmmmkay?

Lol I was foiled

I be selfish alright

Do you not understand every lick and nibble and kiss is a selfish act?

I cannot get enough

But neither can i

And i literally cannot understand that from you

Understand, you know the words I assume? So do you mean "I cannot understand why/how/ " or something else?

The latter

I understand in one way but dont know how you mean because i didnt think you thought the way everyone else did

As you have told me. And I believe you.

So why are they selfish acts?

I get so buzzed knowing I'm turning you on

But why?

It's like bees on honey babe

I can't not do it

What if i told you i was about to start a little drinking for the night?

Well

What you got goin?

null

Very nice!

What would you suggest i drink?

I might say cider, but you and citric, is it ok?

Guinness is always a good choice

I am okay with cider

And for liquor?

Idk I don't drink liquor much

Only started gin last summer

Have not had any in a couple three months

What else would you like to know?

null

null

Fine i suppose

Lovely

As usual

What thread would you like me to pick up?

Well thanks but i legit do not feel that way

Thread?

Any open questions I can close?

Do you like doing things that make me feel good because you know it means you'll get reciprocated or more?

Not because of any expectations

I just like it

I love loving on you

And oh what hey??!!??

You are a hot hot hot fucccck and everything else

I think you mean that

Haha how do I spell bbbbbbbb

Ofc I mean that

I've had a lot of time to think about this

Nah

I don't just mean around you

Okay

No worries babe

But can you explain that? I don't do much

Yes two moments...

For one, I am not used to reciprocation

That's been gone a while, like years, save a couple times

I don't seek it anyway

And that was true before

But any participation is more than I am used to anymore

And
You
Are
So
Hot

I drool all over you lol

Indulge me in that last part a bit? I mean that for actual reasons

I dont see hot most of the time

Occasionally i feel it but that's really rare

You are so shapely and so cute

And when you want to

Come hither

So expressive in all cases

So pure

Delight!

Thank you 🙂

Pardon the intrusion, but how would sex witb rlh go if there wasnt reciprocation?

Like.... you're the guy, so....?

So

I do things

And have fun

And maybe get off or not

But without any help

I occasionally have gone down on you

I dont think i have otherwise helped

You do it very nicely and every sesh! And appreciate it

Every time

Haha, thanks

Still nothing debauched and depraved and kinkfucked you want?

No, thank you

Oops lol lol

Haha

Damn button

No me no kinky much bc cant

And years now before I even knew

Or admitted lol

Dude pal lover friend

Please

You can fo whatever you want with me

Yay!

And so you have told me repeatedly

I WANT YOU TO WANT EVERERRRRRYTHING

I love loving on you so much

All of you is yummy!

Tell me more on your ideas of making love to or with me

Reflect on the other day, if you can

You get I'm just an escapee right

Um

Idk what that even means

null

Okay then

Ok missus research grant, what is the question?

Heyy

I adore your skin

It is so soft

It's ok another level

Mmmm

What's your burningest question for me?

Your book character, please?

I still dont know

😢

It's a hard question

Triste

Et vous?

Vous avez une idee qui je suis en cette sujet?

Sobbing over here

Going to cry myself to sleep

Get over here and use your tears as lube and I'll make it up to you

Promise to pull my hair

I will gladly rub my eyes in your pussy

Only if you do the same

Do your worst

Want me to unlock the door now?

Fml I am locked in

Why? 🤷‍♀️

Triste

Wife in the kitchen?

And too not right to drive for real

I figured

Just know i can always uber you wherever ;)

More getting high questions

Yess? What is your question

Yess!

How long til it stops?

What? Weed?

Depends

Yes?

Please explain

Dose-dependent ofc

And modern strains are typically strong

Smoking is quick onset

Cooking with is much slower, and mellower

1 or 2 puffs of good things should be noticeable in moments

And will escalate for perhaps 30 minutes

And then cool off slowly

Next day should feel not high, but might be sleepy yet

How is that?

I think good

Thank you

Why do you like weed?

So it's a slow elimination

I like

Because

It helps m focus on things

Not always smart things

But I will be very attentive to some things

And unaware of others

And I can train this balance

When you smoke, what's the process?

My little pipe holds 3-5 hits (doses)

It's herbal greenery

So I put some in thert

Didn't I demo this already lol ok

Dude I am baked I will explain this to death

You showed me that, yes

So you taje one puff, then do what, then come back later or

What?

Sure

Take one

Let it settle

Maybe take another

It's not wicked hard on you, apart from the smoking part

Which does not have to be crazy bad either, but burning is burning no matter what

I have no idea what to expect for that part

My little v-card

It's easy to go easy

Youve been given a few of my v experiences so far

And I can help with go easy np

Be a buffer and whatnot

I really, really, really want this

Do you typically want to fuck more when you're high?

Well here's the tuing

Whatever you focus on can totally absorb you

So maybe

If you are with your baby

And you snog for a sec

Ohhhh noooo

Mmmm

???

Now you are wrecked bc you are in heat all of a sudden

What is your next move

Irl i would probably lay there still and silent and staring into your soul until you take me like i crave

Yeah lol

I would absolutely tease you though

Get high and fuck is an almost most day rhingt

Show you how i could move or bend

Sunday

Be here Sunday

You are amazing

You are

Porn

How would you know lol

I like girls

I dont

I want you to show me

Niw

Lol

I'm serious

Please?

Please what? Porn? Now?

Yes

Me or prepackaged?

No wait

I want you to be jere for my first viewing

But would absolutely watch you cum again and again

Wow!

Ok first viewing idea noted

I have nothing of me actually cumming

What do you have?

Use words

What do I have .. examples sought?

Do you want me porn?

I have this

Im very intrigued by this

Why no cumshots?

Or maybe just tea for two?

I sorta do

Hold up one sec let me give you a link

Getting there

One sec

Ok well crap
https://onlyfans.com/mw_chubbychaser

My dirty laundry

But you have to have an account, precious virgin darling

Then I'll save more of myself for you

Did you think of using any toys on me the other day?

I did briefly

Yes

Which?

Why didnt you?

I wanted to play

I thought about very slim vibe

Purple maybe,,?

Possibly

How would that have not had us play?

Oh it wouldn't. I just wanted you for myself

Omggggg yes

Have you ever had someone sit on your face?

Sort of

69 can easily go this way

While I don't like losing air, being smothered in pussy is really special

How was 69ing with me?

It was soooo goooood

You dont have to say that

But it is so

You think not

But I love being smothered in you

Describe our 69 please?

Will do one moment

Sorry so long!

I am back

Where'd you go?

Hauled my ass from basement to upper level

Do much wirk

*so

Oh ya

I have to go up & come back down and ugghhhhh

null

That's hot AF

You like it

You know i do

null

You have me squirming

null

null

Please fuck me

2024-11-02T07:24:17

Ohhhh baaaaabe

I will fuck you endlessly so long as you want to return the favor

I am so sorry i failed you and yiur deliciousness with my silly mind wandering to the lands of arousal and repose

I hope you slept well?

2024-11-02T08:34:45

Wanna go have breakfast? Coffee?

2024-11-02T11:34:57

Good morning!

Yay! 🎉

Sooooo how are you?

Pretty good! Can't believe I slept so late lol

I kind of have that effect on you

Bringing is some coffee?.

It's the porn ∆∆

Lies

Making coffee now!

Making porn is hard work I guess

Maybe you need a partner

Hey, do you have an opinion on Stanley Tucci?

Amd does that mean I'm on my own for coffee?

I could sneak you in at 519

I do not know Stanley

Who is Stanley?

I don't know that I've seen anything starring Stanley, but idk

Errrrr....?

Box of stuff?

null

Or one of these?

null

This thing?

null

Nice hardware collection!

Idk what most of it is lol

null

Well do you want it?

Oh shit that's a pneumatic nail gun in the black box

I could not use it for I have not an air compressor

That's purchaseable somewhere in the universe

Sure is

Would knowing the price make a difference?

Haven't decided if I want one in the house yet

They can be noisy

So can mistresses

True, true

Mistresses are far more sonorous

Sirenous too

And cute!

null

Cute!

Where are you hunting today?

Free cheap and antique store

Nice!

I'll bring you here sometime

Wednesday?

Sure!

2024-11-02T14:39:56

null

Love it!

I am so fucking cold

Hey babe?

Yo!

How you be?

Good! Cleaning floors! Woo

Wahoo!

Been doing that all day?

Last 90 or so. Wrapping up now

What else have you done?

Mostly moving stuff around down here so I could get to the floor. And spot cleaning everywhere along the way

So
Cleaning
And more cleaning

With loud music

Oh and I spent some time looking at clamps online

Need to go to three if not four places to inspect options in person

And wouldn't you know it, they are at four distant corners of greater Lansing

Clamps for...?

Woodworking clamps. Specifically the ones I need for the aquarium stand

Mmhmmmm

You having a good night so far?

Yes babe
Did you sleep?

Ummm

When?

1600 ish. Nvm though, I am in a time warp lol

You asked if i had slept

The answer is essentially no

Ok luv

How are you doing?

null

Chez amis

Buuuuuuuut

Ighhhhh

Is the feeling

Mmmmmm

Is that a long or short vowel?

??

How are you pronouncing lghhhhhh?

Ick

Elongated

null

Have you eaten?

Why jailed?

And I'm working on it

You?

Not lately

But I feel good

How come?

How come what now?

How come no food, how come feel good?

I have newsish things for you too

I yam what I yam

I have a sign that says Electrophoresis
I'm prominent -looking letters

And it has a secret

What?

There's a right hand print in the finish over the letters "pher"

It's not noticeable but for when I missed it with glass cleaner, the prints stood out, and did not wipe off much

I misted it

Lol

Daddy needs a subwoofer

Umm

The sign did clean up nicely

null

null

What are they for??

Something something jewelry I suppose

Teeny carabineers

Mm scale for scale

I love how my mat ends at 420
It's corny, but effective

Lol

Sooooo

I need you tokorrkw

Wanna go for a ride?

I shit those clasps are hematite

Oh shit

They're quite lovely, if utilitarian

Kinda busy en but i need to meet mary jam3 tomorrow

Pardonnez?

Anyway, busy now so cannot ride

I need you tomorrow

To meet miss Mary jane

Maybe more

Ooooooooh sweet baby yes yes

What is best time

You tell me

House is a disaster for now

So

You tell me when youll be over

And what our time will entail

What do you want to get done? Anything?

What do you wish to happen? Anything?

Anything you want

This will help me fine tune

NOT THAT WAY

🤪

Eez joke bebe

Btw I can't say how much respect I have for this album cover https://open.spotify.com/track/39iMBFepK3VfesTCF2ENP2?si=G21lDbPyTA2wdl62YNyMTw

I may well have been listening to this album--which is to say the original version by The Cure, when I had my Bad Day In Brighton

Still with friends.... will ttys ok?

Yes yes ofc

I wasn't sure if you had friends you ordinarily hang with

Literally 2

And the hanging is weeks or konths apart

I am at their apt now

How are you?

Very well, mistress!

Et tu?

Que?

Comment ça va?

Daddy also needs a phono preamp

An old fave
https://open.spotify.com/track/5gMhDjTQ9o48VtlcG9NEt8?si=xPXGut_sRUKOmhC5hb45GA

Je suis chez moi

Mwa mwa mwa

Hey babes

Sorry for neglecting you

It's no bbdd

How was your visiting?

Kinda weird but good

How was your day?

Let's talk about tomorrow

All good
All good

Cool 😎

Kisses and hugs
I love you!
Sweet baby

I love you too!

So are we chatting or are you too far gone?

I'm good to go

Wassup princess?

You have a plan or hopes for tomorrow?

I sure di

Do do dogs dummy dummy autocorrect lol

Get clmps

Somewhere

Drive around a kot

Interested in a ride along?

A for real one?

Yes absolutely

You're aware i am alone til monday evening?

Well then

Better bring extra panties

Well then color me confused

Do you want me to be a pussy hungry slut boy or something else?

No judgement here lol I am willing to be put in my place

What confused color,?

BRB! 5

Heyyy

Syy

Swyyooooo

Why a drive?

I need to find tools

Clamps

But maybe I can adjust the route

What are you up to rn?

Kind of cleaning, kind of fading, thinking about you & maybe tomorrow

Yummy!

I'm thinking about you too

And maybe tomorrow

Say more

If you had your hand on the knob

That adjusted "stay home and fuck"

To "go out and be flirtatious"

To "curl up and sleep*

Where would you move that knob?

Between SHAF and curl up/sleep

I can do both

For you!

Mmmmmkay

Please!!!

Ok then sweet baby

You ok eating in tomorrow?

Yeah?

Ok!!

No worries babe

I got you

I need to sleep

Sure np

Sleep well!

You, too

null

2024-11-03T01:28:28

null

2024-11-03T05:46:58

Bonjour mon artiste!

2024-11-03T08:53:30

Oh la la! Haha!

Good morning sweet bean!

How are you?

Feeling cute ooly

Lol

Really?

I mean you are but lol

Kinda

😊

Any reason?

Can't see straight yet lol

Pssshhhht

Your plans for the day?

null

Lolol!

I was thinking about spending some quality time with you

Yeah?

Yeah

I like that

I need to run out to the west side first

My clamp mission

Oh i see

Where at?

Harbor freight

Where is that?

Grand River past the airport

If you say so

There's one on saginae

In waverly

I kinda know where that one is

If i have disclaimers, would you like to hear them?

Cool, I know where that one is. Ty

Yes, what are your disclaimers?

I am in absolute dizzying agony so far

This house is in worse shape than possibly ever

I think those cover the main points

Oh no what happened that you are in so much pain?

I dont know. It just happens

Chronic pain syndrome, fibromyalgia, broken bits and bobs

Would you like A massage?

Kind of, but i feel awful asking. And i can't guarantee all the noises i make would be happy to you

And maybe we add a gallon or 2 of morphjne or dilauded

*please

Ok just for you

Thanks 🙂

You procure it, I'll push it

Do you have any inclination of an eta?

Sounds like a deal

ETA ...

One sec

Too soon lol

Lol! I'm thinking 11-12

Okay awesome

Whenever is fine, just helps me gear for readyness

Though you're getting sub par rebecca today lol

Nope, you're always perfect

But do to suit you :)

Haha, thanks

But i may be merely a vessel today

Aww

That's not necessarily a bad thing, loo

null

Hehehehe

So helpful

null

null

null

null

null

Ohhhhhh they know

OMG so cute

I would love if you could give me as much notice as possible

Are paint thinner and stripper the same thing?

Just looking to do a project on some wood things. Ot concerned with value

Np

Thinner and stripper are different

Thinner is added to paint or stain to dilute it

Stripper is typically gelatinous and applied to a thing to melt paint

Ok thanks!

😘

How do you feel about soup?

I love soup

What kind sounds good if i feed it to you today?

Obv veg

Yay!

I meant vegetarian

Like broccoli cheddar or a northern bean one or maybe potato?

All of those sound amazing!

Broc cheddar is especially decadent

Oh lovely that's what i would habe picked!

null

Lol

null

Lol orange orange orange orange

He knows lol

You have a status yet ?

Lol!

Yeah I just left the house. Probably an hour out

Okay cool, thanks!

Need me to get anything for you?

Nope!

Mmmmk

On my way to you now :)
From hahbah frait

Okay lovah

Im going to pretend to get ready

The door is open

Haha okay

Beware!

Guard pup in place

null

Oh noes!

2024-11-03T17:46:31

Heya

Hey all is well but can't talk now 😘😘😘

Hieee!

How are you doing

I think good?

It's all blurry lol

I am calm though

Good! Have you eaten?

Spouse decided he would come home in abt 2 hours

With SIL

I need that dilauded

Have not eaten

Not hungry, still knda swirly

How are you?

https://open.spotify.com/track/6RUKPb4LETWmmr3iAEQktW?si=xwZNwl34Qxuesc3Jv_r9oA

https://open.spotify.com/track/6oJ6le65B3SEqPwMRNXWjY?si=w4YyDkepRyK94xqvbSZNzA

Oh lordy speaking of the SIL, here they come

I am feeling great ty

Really super happy I got to spend the afternoon with you

Kygo is current mood. Chainsmokers too but also generic sentiment

Listening the Chainsmokers first

That was thr most enjoyment i have ever had

And i am so happy now :)

Yay!

My actual memory recall will be sketchy at best

My throat is still a little raw feeling

But fuck i love you

🥰

I love you!

What did i tell you that was new info?

I feel like you gave me veritaserum lol

I love this Higher Love version

Yay!

Lol you know Veratassium is a YT channel right. Very popular. Very cool science

Did not!

Anyway, your answer?

Specifics of a 3-way

Yes

One of them

That you can come for 2 hours

I guess l9l

I didnt think i could get there at all until verrrrry recently

That you like your cervix prodded

Mmhmm

Anything worthy of concern?

"worthy of concern"

No

You'd know

My back hurts lol

The actual in and out sex part was magnificent

I really think it was the best I've had

Yay! 🎉

I didnt know that's how we're supposed to feel together

Just like lil subby lovers

I dont know that we're that
.


Hedonists lol

Haha yes!

You want the question i dont want to ask?

I have 2

Donnez moi

What signs do you notice (internal, external, visible, tangible, etc) that there's been trauma?

How do you feel about our lovemaking quest?

Second q first: I absolutely love it! 🥰 And hey wow it's getting better!

I notice much tbh

About trauma

I kinda assumed your tightness was a product of trauma, but

While I still think that, i think it's not as much as I assumed

Especially today

You took a lot of me inside you.

It's because I'm safe with you

You get that part, yeah?

I do yes

And I appreciate it so much

I like to explore inside you

It isn't super conscious of me

And you literally opened up /twice/ today

And let me come in you

And pushed me out later lol

So incredible

I really dont know how you got innnnn

Can you talk about my faces?

Good and ugly

Mostly your head was tilted back

Eyes closed or blinking, darting

Mouth parted

So pretty

Weird? What about before we got into stuff? Rather, before you got into me

Endlessly deep stories about your experiences with people, places, subjects, experiences, and survival tactics and strategies

You've got a lot going on Missy

What will you do with me when vanilla sex isn't fun enough?

Step it up lol

Sorry, i keep falling asleep

Lol correct answers

I don't usually smoke on Sunday. So glad I made an exception

Oh I'm sorry!

:P

I feel like i might be a lightweight?

I am too

You're also was a v card or so you said

I absolutely was for all intents and purposes

lol it's cool

Sweetums

I have more odd wonderings

But yes, I lovered smoking with you

Oh??

Hell yeah

Any reason?

Because I finally got to get high, and have sex with my bebe and it was so wonderful

Lol for sure

Do you ever see fear or anxiety or apprehension on my face or in bidy language?

Sometimes

But I don't always know how to read faces

Any times you can recall?

No no, I don't keep track of this

There would have been some today

Perhaps!?

I would like to think I recognize an orgasm

But it's not all face

Face and body

I think you recognize mine

Yay

I likes em

Can you describe my body in climax?

I will try

You alternate between almost flaccid to stiff and yet convulsing

In 30 s cond cycles

And you usually cannot speak

Yes

I had no idea they had consistency

And you definitely have a falsetto that is a joy to hear

And your innards have their own things going on too

I have no idea what that means. Sounds kinda gross?

I really appreciate this line of chat

I'm referring to the very significant work being done I presume by your vagina and your uterus

Seriously hard contractions

I can sort of control that

And your abdomen I think too

My core IS a bit sore, if that's what you mean at all

Makes sense

null

She pretty much claimed me

One time you might have seen apprehension or fear or anxiety today would have been right before i started giving you head

I didn't know what you were doing walking on your knees and if I'd be able to do it

I. Will. Fight. Her.

She's a lover not a fighter lol

I did not know you felt anxious

It passed quickly?

Yes it passed

I legit just did not know what you were doing or how i would get anything done without your "force". This is exceptionally hard to unlearn and I'm sorry.

I also still worry every time before you go down on me

Oh? I am sorry

No worries

I didn't know

I know you didnt

And i know i am safe

It's talking myself off a ledge i didnt walk out onto myself

But i really didnt know what you were doing

Got it got it

What is the hesitation related to?

When?

You "worry every time ...' @ 2032

That i am gross, taste ick, look bad, am smelly, etc. Not wet enough. I have something to say to that not wet enough thing btw

Ok all fair
Privates can get err messy
You have always been such a joy to taste. Every time

Ohhh yay! You as well. Seriously

I have another diagnosis. Kinda pisses me off for no real reason

How is it so? You've been dxed to a criminal level

Perimenopause

I was floooored

and going strong lol

Felt like a death sentence

Do you think ive made up anything ive told you?

No I dont

Have you?

Hint: it is ok either way

No. If anything, details and additions and continuations would make it all worse

Got it, as expected that

Aside from not having a reason to not believe me, why do you?

Im actually really curious what kind of answers you expect here

But I will answer nonetheless

Never known anyone with a litany this large that actually could repeat it

You are perhaps

An insanely well trained spy

Or a good girl with bad luck

Howso?

Lol

Yea

And a smart mind

I could have been so much smarter

For real

You are already

And you can definitely learn more!!

I did a lot of damage to my brain in my teen years

You want it, I can tell

And yet

You learned so much

True

Because my thought was that if i can't be pretty and hot, i need to be smart

Answers i kind of expected:

Things my my body or my face do when reacting or talking about certain things

Example: tightness, relaxing, scars, etc. Tensing up. Crying.

No one in their right mind would make up the level of fucked up that my stuff has been. And no one wants it or would repeat the words

Yes

Agree

I also know and have all the details and can tell you what happened without thinking back much (as opposed to someone who would have to think up a lie)

You have a yen for specificity

I love it

May i have an example?

Is this a joke?? 🤣🤣🤣

Good sense of humor noted as well

Not a joke

Just a little irony

Hmm n

I'm cracking up over here lol

Lol

Would you like some water?

In a sippy cup?

Or a mug?

Or a glass?

Lol

,pint glass?

Or tumbler

Or wine Glass

Also I folded up this newspaper so it will hold. Glass of milk for 34 seconds with 16 imperial oz

Ready?

I kid you

Lol

Like the lady making the goat imitation

Thank you I will be here all week

Me too

Lololol

And al9ne again this saturday

Ok

Whoa really

That's fucking hot

Could be

You helped me accomplish something huge today and you have no idea

If you'd like to know, it will involve a new to you story snippet that is not in the happy realn

Well I would definitely like to know what new first you had!

And please include necessary plot elements

Well, i absolutely trusted you (still do). That was one part of the new thing

I wanted to be high and for someone to have complete access to me while i wasnt in my head at all. So thank you

I was drugged and dateraped at the end of a vacation. I dont remember most unless i have flashbacks that just come out if nowhere and theyre usually the worst thing ever and i end up calling into work and wanting to be committed. I have splotches of memory but it's scattered. Never got to ask questions or make an official report or anything

I think that was a clear explanation? I will tell you the whole story eventually

I essentially wanted to allow someone to have control over me

It sounds horrible. I am so sorry

It is what it was

But when i said i was giving myself to you, i meant it

I wss completely incapacitated and trust you enough to want you to have every bit of access and control over me

You could have done literally anything you wanted

I will always respect you

Pretty baby

I have a few anecdotal points that make that story experience worse. Like stabbing the knife a little deeper for each one

I love that you tell me I'm pretty

Thank you

Mmm you are pretty!

My eyes smile

You're amazing

Aww ty!

You are amazing too
I know You have not intentionally earned all of your badges
I have so much respect for you to do and deal with so much

Thank you

You are a remarkable woman

I was thinking of telling you more

I want you to be my girly girl but you deserve so much more

And I just love you so much

I told you before

What do you mean by girly girl?

Like.... just someone to play with?

I love you in spite of your challenges, not because of them

😊

Yes I want a plaything

It's so much more better though when it's a real woman

So you dont always feel like you're just another entrant for the "i got off in rebecca" club?

Consensual and not (when combined) is kind of a high number

Yes you threaten me. Lol

Whatever

I get to have a different side of you innit

I want you to feel special

Ty

I hope I am, and in spite of my slow starts

Why do i shake and convulse and twitch after i orgasm?

I dont think thats normal

Idk
You were this way the first night too!

Yes

It's still new and confusing

Esp when i squirt

You kinda warned me things might happen

That's a mindfuck in itself

Squirt....

I have not really seen this one yet

You have

But I can imagine

First night

Ok ok

Poor baby was so confused after this night lol

I was on top, i came really suddenly, then told you there was a puddle on you that i was sitting in

YESSSS

I squirted that puddle onto you

yay!!!

When it happens.... i dont conteol or feel it

It usually seems to be a surprise

It's not like an ejaculate per se, more like a release valve

GIRL GOODIES

YAY

I almost did today

When i told you i felt like i was just going to pee all over everything. That's the intensity of the buildup

Whooooo!

Usually you fingering the right spot does the trick

Haha I'm not into peeing for peeing sake, but squirting is a different kinda fun

It isnt peeing - That's just what the feeling is

Like I'll burst

Such a good girl

You should look up booktok boyfriend ideas

How to be one in the bedroom, basically

They're common romance book tropes

And sooooooo hot

null

Looking good!

The bottles of fluids need a little caddy

Maybe capacity for another unit or two

Just keep a look out! Plz

Do you have an area that would fit a tension/curtain rod?

Hmmmmmm

Even in a cabinet

Yes actually about 38 "

Door height

The tension rod needs to ho horizontal

Understood

My tension rod is sooo ho horizontal

That reminds me of something

Please make me all hard again and do the sword swallowing

I might be able to ask

But I might be shy about it

If it will not hurt you

I don't want that

I want not hurt you

Yesssszzzs

Real quick - where did you put the lube?

In the box

Box in closet

Thankkkkk youuuuu

Cap included

🙋

Box is semi hidden?

(As it was)

It's where it was

Fantastic

I love you more each thing you do

Np sweet babe

Does anyone look in the closet?

Nah but it would be weird if it was right at the front

Yes too right

Good girl

Can you describe what you thought about my back?

I have concerns about that disc/bone growth. Idk what it is exactly

It's quite large

Brb

Birb lol

null

Lol?

I sure do not know why that was linked to birb lol

Because there we are

Back to the back... before i really fade out

null

You have a significant amount of tissue overgrowth there

Seems that way to me

And seems like your spine is not straight there

Any actual medical exams/imaging/dx?

And when did this injury take place?

2024-11-04T07:25:02

Heyyy babes

Heya!!

Xoxoxox

How are you?

A little sleepy but good

And you?

Pretty good

Mouth feels weird but whatever

Oh?

Yeah. Dry. A little carpety. It's fine

I recommend liquid

Lol

So I've heard!

I'm still in a little disbelief about yesterday

Haha
Believe it
That was really fun

It was!

I've been thinking about it for an hour

Yay!

Any new thoughts or rumination?

Ideas for next time!

Yeah??

I need dis

Yeah
I need to flip you over more often

Okay!

And I think we need to start closer to the middle of the bed lol

Or wherever we end up

Heh!

Yeah i could see that

How do you feel about the weed? Any lingering effects?

I wouldn't expect any, but you know, science

I was really sleepy all of yesterday. And wobbly. Nothing else, really. Was not particularly hungry. Or thirsty. Still pain. Talkative and thinking about how talkative i was at the same time as me talking and circuitous logic like that. In fairness, that happens to me with any and all drugs

What else might there have been?

Perhaps a little fog, if anything

I cant tell if there is or isnt

I dont remember some of yesterday but i knew that was going to happen as it was happening

null

You're missing me in a pretty-feeling state

😞

Yay! Hi pretty baby!

Wtf sad face???

Hahahahaha

I did not do that lol

Damn "helpful" suggestions

Do you have a favorite instance of me climaxing?

I'd have to say it was when I had just come moments before

That was soooo hot

I tried to have it be the same time

Very nicely done babe!

Oh

Well thanks - i was saying I'll try harder next time to make that happen

But cum literally gets me off when it's someone i like

🥰

Idk if you understand how sexy that is

2024-11-04T09:32:16

How sexy what is?

Evidently not lol

Wednesday...?

null

Lol

Yes Wednesday
Aka hump day

What are your plans?

Get up
Get ready for work*
Go to work*
Do work*

*Off-site special work. Attire is to be removed

Lol

What time are you planning on working?

Well I usually try to leave the house around 0740 but I'm usually late lol

Interested in breakfast?

Actually perhaps

I still don't think I've eaten in front of you

Any concerns?

What do you mean?

Are you worried about eating in front of me?

Yes and no

It's a thing for me. Sometimes i just cant in front of someone. I'd like that to not be the case here

Ok
I don't want to force you into anything uncomfortable. We can decide later

That's fine

How's the day?

It's ho hum. I'm bored lol

Stop that - only boring people get bored

And i dont fuck around with anyone boring

:)

Want some questions?

Lol

I want a nap actually

So do it!

But i obv always have questions

https://milogin.michigan.gov/eai/login/authenticate?PolicyId=urn:ibm:security:authentication:asf:basicldapuser&Target=https%3A%2F%2Fmiloginci.michigan.gov%2Foidc%2Fendpoint%2Fdefault%2Fauthorize%3FqsId%3Dc5e37056-3300-4fcb-85d5-1d458cdda904%26client_id%3D1825aafa-fdcb-4cf8-8266-a5cffe3a24ab

In case you needed a reminder

And oh! I figured out why i knew december 3 as a date (before you)

Oh, what's that?

Someone else's birthday

null

That one lol

 ​❤️​ to a photo 

Yay!

She'll be SIX

No wonder she's so cute

Damn those sagges

Fml the air conditioner gets heavier every year I swear it

Is that what you're doing?

Wanna do other stuff in a bit?

One ac down, one to go

Whew done.

And now I am a sweaty mess

Hmm

Walk over here. It'll cool you off lol

Temptress!

*alone temptress

What happened to SIL?

They're on their way to her appt in A2

They'll be back in a few hours but i can do you - i mean, i can do stuff in the meantime

Lol

Is that a no?

I can't come over now :(

😞

I know

Tristessa

So

Is that
so, watcha wanna do
Or
So, so, suck my toe
?

The former

Well I'm cleaning cat boxes rn, so

Just about any suggestion is welcome

What i want is not available (multiple options)

So i wanna talk maybe

Ok I am done with chores!

What's up?

Do you have anything in mind or on your mind first off?

Not at the moment

How is your day going?

Mixed. Overall good. Weird at points.

Yours?

Uneventful, unimposing. I'll take it

Done now?

Nah I've got a 1500 meeting

That's soon

I want to tell you things

Sounds ominous! You can tell things. I'm not sure this meeting will have any substance

I dont know what i should tell you

You seem conflicted
Is everything ok?

I have a lot of thoughts. They rotate. That's all.

I see.

I have a lot i want to tell you and i dont always know how or if i should

You've spoken of some reasons why you might hold back. I respect that. But remember you've also told me some pretty ugly stories too, and I'm still here to listen.

I dont know why ive said i might hold back?

I think you know maybe 1 ugly story in details

I want to tell you all of it that i want to. Some i know i wont, so I'll exclude that automatically

Np, this is about what's helpful for you first

Be selfish

It will help me to know why you think i migjt hold back

Please tell me the ugly stories you already know. Uskng actual words would be great. I dont need details, just to know which you know

What i want to do is tell you something i very much cant, so telling you some other things might help

You told me about father & brother SA,

Yeah, i know those. Any other?

Lol I had to talk a lot in the meeting

Awww poor baby!

What was it?

I'm explaining reference and cross reference data to our new employee

Sorry hard to think about ATM because I've been talking for a half hour

Np

So

Sorry babe 60 minute meeting

Aw

Ok

So you told me about crashing grandpas car

About being sick in Portugal

I know you dont know Portugal yet

About wild people feeding you LSD and fucking with your head

About your mom's shitty attitude

I dont think they fucked with me head

Attitude toward some things yes

And I haven't cataloged everything you said so I'm sure I'm missing something here

I don't think so. You know about things I've done to myself. I think?

You've mentioned cutting, and I think an eating disorder?

A few of them, yes. And then the other that i really hate labelling because it's more complicated than anyone understands

I don't know what will happen if i tell all the stories

What do you fear could happen?

A few things

My biggest fear is that I'll realize that they're actual things that happened

Or that I'll remember too vividly

Do you feel a need to recall them, or share them?

Hmm

I havent done either so i dont know

I think it is both

I think i want someone to know them and to understand that i really shouldnt be here and be functional

And maybe sharing them will get them a little out of my head

I thought i wanted something else too, but here you are and i think maybe i want to tell you instead

But i dont want to break you

I see this as --

You have a closet. There or may not be a monster in the closet. Schröedinger's monster? You kind of want to know, but kind of not. It might be horrible for you--and for me--if there's a real monster. But you can't know for sure without opening the door. But every day you don't have an answer. You can't know the answer unless you open the door.

It's not an enviable place to be. If you want to open the closet, you have my support. If you'd rather wait until I'm physically there, that's cool. Any way you want to proceed is cool in fact.

I don't think you can break me. I don't think you can hurt me, unless you turn against me, but I don't see that happening.

Schroedingers closet monster indeed

Especially because i also don't know what happens if i stop letting all this stuff consume me. I have no clue who i might be without it

That is almost what I told my doctor when I was about to quit smoking. "I worry about what I will do with my time".

I would pose this question to you: what would be worse? can you name a specific thing that would be worse tomorrow because you stopped being consumed by a monster today?

Maybe

I say that because i dont know for certain it would happen, and it would not be immediate

But do you have any examples? Any daydream idea you've thought of or fantasy you've ruminated on?

I might not ever speak to my mother again

And i might not stay married

So yes, actionable things could happen. But only if i tell you all of it, which i am not prepared for

I know i want to tell you most of it

It's also a closet monster possibility that i engage in self harming activities and i told you i would try really hard to not do those or worse

I'm not really understanding why telling me anything would create that kind of fallout.

You said you really shouldn't be here and be functional. I agree with you on a certain level. Your struggles have been many, significant, and very difficult. But youve convinced me you are very real and very functional, and I am grateful for it!

Thank you

Ofc

I feel like I'm pushing a wedge towards you, and I don't want to do that

Let me know how I can help

And if anything is urgent, please tell me!

... Last note as a standing PSA

You are not pushing a wedge

You're actually being very helpful

Where do i start then?

ok good to know ty

Maybe let's establish some things

Okay

First, I don't believe you can break me. I am a sponge. I can handle anything from you, except rejection.

Okay, same

I think some of these might make you cry

Quite possible. I'm not concerned about that. I cry when I have feelings and I'm just fine with it.

Have i made you cry yet?

Close, but no

Not yet

Okay, good

Do you remember which?

Yes, I was very worried last Tuesday night. You were really down on yourself about the HPV test.

You said worried

That is different than crying

Right?

Right. That was as close as I've been to crying

Interesting

Have you been worried aside from then?

What was the worry, if you can name it?

I would also like to know, please, what i would say that you would intervene on if i told you i was experiencitheat the time or relatively recently . This is not a trap, i just need to know

I think I was a bit worried once or twice otherwise, nothing serious. Mostly when we don't get to finish what feels like an important conversation. Sorry that's not super specific.

I think I would be inclined to act on any threat that I feel is credible and would cause you to be harmed

That's vague

The last part you said

Do you have examples?

I am more than willing to tell you lots of things. I am not as willing to have you intervene on all of them

Wait

Maybe it would be okay

Sorry no I don't have a collection of trigger words that I can give you. But I'm always going to try to make sure I understand you before doing anything rash

Okay

Rash, to me, implies acting on impulse and perhaps in heroics

As of right now, i can only think of maybe 2 or 3 scenarios i feel like you would have imagined now that you would intervene in, and i don't think you would need to because i think i would go into it first with you and there would be a mutual resolution

I'm not saying that's the case, but idk really

TLDR ...

I think you think you imagine i might try not existing anymore one of these days and at that point you'd do what you had to to prevent me taking a permanent exit

Has that crossed your mind?

Has more than that scenario's sort of threat?

I think we're on the same page. Yes it has occurred to me that you may try not existing at some point. I've never thought that was remotely imminent. We agree on definition of rash

Okay. Thank you

It helps if you ask questions, you know

It's okay if you think they're hard or will hurt me or if they make you feel weird to ask

I actually think hard questions are the best

Right o.

For now, please know that I think you are an exceptional and wonderful person. I will never wish I had not met you. I know you've endured like 50 people's worth of pain, hassle, abuse, neglect, and I'm sorry it happened to you. I wish I could stop it from happening. And if I can I will.

And yet for all of that, I see you, a wonderful person, passionate lover, well learned, witty and fun to be with, and I want to amplify all those things

Thank you :)

I also think you have a lot of demons following you around. I see you swatting at them from time to time, as if they were so many wasps. I hope you get to put them in their place some day. I hope you free yourself of the worry and pain and nagging and distractions and ill will they bring you. If I ever can help, please tell me.

Can you say that in more specifics?

Because i dont really know who you're referring to

I'm talking about you metaphorically

Yes

These demons of mine though... some are people, I'm sure

But i also dont know what else they are for the most part

Neither do I irl. But do you tell me they're there. Again, metaphorically

I wish i knew what metaphors you've interpreted this way

But yes. They're there. You can help. You have helped. I dont know how you can help more but I'm sure we'll think of ways

yay!

That legit makes me happy

Here's a tangible example of you and how it's been helpful and different so far: three fingers

Oh Im sure I wouldn't know anything about that 😊

Me either

Lol

Aside from sexual achievements (which I think are fantastic), anything else I've helped with?

Yes. Let me think in a sec

I dont think you understand, though, how colossal these sexual things are

Kind of similar but also not is that i sometimes think I'm attractive now

Yay!

There's still a lot I'm trying to understand about you and your approach of me and how it all works

While i work on thinking about that, i would love for you to ask me something specific. Something not uplifting because i am sad tonight and that's where my mind is dwelling

And you absolutely are desirable! And deserving!

Thank you

Sorry to spoil your rotten mood princess lol

You havent yet

:P

Imma lick your nose for that

Anyhoo

Whaddya want?

Global warming?

Oceans dying?

Food scarcity?

Horrible effects of capitalism?

Racism?

Other kinds of inequality?

Mean people suck

I want to share at least one personal story. I am sad. I need a prompt.

Ok give me a moment

Plz

Always

Do you know who died today?

No?

https://apnews.com/article/quincy-jones-dead-a9e31c7e39c448d8971519f47a22dd21

Oh, yes

I saw that but i could have sworn he died a few weeks ago

This man's name is on so many things I own, many of which I bought in that last few years

An amazing man with a wonderful influence

Boo hoo dammit

Yes

Did you know we had fancy goldfish? For yeara

We literally cried when they died

I knew a snippet of that

Would you like to share more?

One we called Fatty would blow kisses to me

From the surface

She'd come right up, and blow bubbles at me

I love that

They're like little water cows

What brought this to mind?

I'm trying to darken the mood

I see

Idk how to be goth

You dont have to be. I take care of it

But I want to be a slutty goth slut too

I keep trying to give you trauma to use as inspo

null

You in?

I cost more than that

Ohhhh rlllly

I'm saying I'm going to sell tham

What color would you like? I can paint them too

In fact that's probably easiest

Stain & poly will be $20

3 for 50 bucks

Add preqorn panties for another $50 and I'll be your partner

Hell of a deal for $100

Helluva deal right there

Nice idea!

Plus 20$ off the video of a hour long orgasm

Would you like to know something kinda sad about that

Dammit ok

I only remember a few bits from the epic orgasming

So on one hand it's good because i lovvvvvvve when you recount tgese escapades to me

And you know i didnt fake because i legit couldnt have in that state of mind

True, true

One moment plZ

Oh right. That's not too surprising. You definitely have a heady experience sometimes and don't always remember details. No worries luv. You were so into me being in you. And sometimes I should move, and sometimes not. And sometimes I was licking your clit and you were really jazzed about that. Then later she was a little fatigued. So cute. So hot.

I am so thrilled

But it doesn't seem like the me i know to be so demanding

You knew what you wanted. I loved it

I have to go be domestic for about 30 ok?

Yes

✔️

How'd I do on timing?

I think well

I switched rooms

Oh . Switch eh?

I stood up for the first time in a long time

So anyway

Yea

Yes

I am having a meh night

I am sad

And unmotivated

I'm sorry

It's okay

I wish we could just hang

Me too

Pensive and empty and questioning is a lot of how i feel rn

Do you write at all?

No

I definitely do understand having a house full of things to do and amuse, and yet nothing to satisfy

Do you sing at all?

I bet you have a lovely voice

Why do you ask & say that? I promise I'll answer you

Sometimes I wish I had a female voice to round out the rare musical idea I have

I have some nice recording stuff too. Not pro quality, but v nice

And I bought a guitar (my fourth) a while back and have not been motivated to pick it up for want of space

Long ago music was an outlet for me

Me too

And reading

And art

And lots of things that are no longer

In any event, i do sing to myself

Middle school me won a lot of choral competitions my teacher enrolled me in and i wanted to be on Broadway or equivalent for a long time

Yay!

I have a dumb question for you

And another unrelated question - what would you relate the volume of 31 or 32 ml to?

32 being oz in a quart, and the 5th power of 2
31 being prime, and the volume of solvent in a 1/32 dilution

Sigh

?

Oh I missed a detail lol

31-32 ml is about 10% more than one fluid once

I was looking for volume

Like for something you'd need diaplacement for

But i basically found my answer i think

Ie, a blueberry

But blueberries are fickle in sizing so idk

What are you making?

Nothing

Is a measurement of one cyst in my report

Oh wait maybe not

Idk. Doesnt matter

It's about a shot glass

That's not rigjt, though, based on measurements. Idk. Doesnt matter

Was it reported in ml or mm? Big diff

I know

Okay, read it wrong but also not really and now I'm even more confused

null

Hang on one sec thay wasnt the right shot

Ok

null

How is that right??

There's no way

Don't think of it as a cube. The first one is a 60 ml cube, but when the corners are rounded off, it's about half that volume

Same for #2

But amaller

Sure.... my "no way" is for the relation in size of one to the other

If you expect the dimensions to be 1/2, don't. You have to cube that ratio

Idk. Too much mathing

Np

I need to conceptualize it in objects. Like fruit

The second one is about grape sized

No thanks

You asked ..

Yes i am aware

And the first?

Grape tomato maybe?

Small plum?

Really a very small plum

Ping pong ball

Somewhere in there

So there's an unwanted grape that's harassing that unwanted apricot

Right

No thanks

Agree

Sorry

I mean I'm sorry. You are the bearer of the unwanted fruit

It's so cruelly ironic

But again, sorry

Girl things. And you are not.

I am not??

You have boy parts

Girl parts are absolutely unsexy to talk about in most cases

Whoa I did not know that last statement

Yes, you did

I am missing context. Help?

You are cis-male

You are not a clinician

You, in all of my experiences ever, would never want to hear or talk about anything within my reproductive tract that isn't sexually gratifying to you

Sorry but that is verifiably false.

You missed my disclaimer part

I guess so

... in all of my experiences ever...

Myyyyyyyy

In speaking to cis males

And esppp cis male partners

Got you. Sorry I read that wrong way

Understood now!

Yes

May i have a question please?

From me?

Of course

Deep or not so much

Your choice

Pffft

Deep

Lol

Orange or yellow

Orange

Mmm

Interesting

7 or 13

7

But my instinct was for 13

Cake or death?

Uhh

Thank you for flying church of England

Cake or death please?

Death

Right

Not going to change our mind are we?

Very good

Ah ah

Well i AM a gemini

No, sorry

Off we go

How do you see our relationship surviving?
Do you want it to?
What does that future look like for you?

Ah fuck

And please no analysis of Romeo and Juliet

Lol

Maybe you should answer first

I mean

Cake?

Lololol

I have an answer, you just wont like it and so i dont want to provide it for you

https://youtu.be/rMMHUzm22oE?si=pGU3s6ufShuZSKEb

Dont jump to any conclusions though

Yes?

You said i cant look at relevant shakespearean works

Oh noes!

I mean yes I did but I'm really concerned about the clichée

Why are you concerned?

Do I need to brace for impact lol

Darling I am feigning silliness

As a way to deflect any emotional damage

But not well

Damage to you or me

Me

There's no need for you to fear any damage or rejection or anything of that nature

You said I would not like it and that scares me a titch

Because i know how it usually goes and you wont like it

You'll be the one to end it

Can I cancel?

Just blissfully not know

That's always my out

Well in fairness I do not have a clear vision

I I mean this as neither positive nor negative. I simply have no clear vision of the future. Much has changed.

What does that last bit mean?

And i don't have a clear vision but many general knowings based on intuiting

Mmmm okay then

I meant to clarify that I have no vision of any future, not specifically one that does not include you

I meant what changed

Nothing

You literally said "Much has changed."

Lol that!

🤭

Much has changed in my existence in the last 24 months or so, and leaves me wondering what's next as opposed to perpetual static

Interesting

More adjectives plz

Kind of same

Same is true for you?

But also not really

Sorry, turned out my internet stopped for a hit second there

Kind of same for me but also not really

Roger that

24 months

That's an odd amount of time.... what happened then?

It's rough measure

But

24+ months ago I fucked up my knee

I end up in hospital 3 nights

I
Finished the antibiotics right on 24 months ago

Then I quit nicotine 23 months ago, and everything changed

Smoking is in an isolated addition , never in the house

No shared HVAC,

and I don't hang out there anymore

Waa

Idk if I had a point lol

You're telling me why you narrow down that everything changed in the last 24ish months

Yes

Thank you

So I'm like the cigarette widower

Goofy, but

We are physically separated most of the time.

I understand

And then I tried to be cute and attractive

And slutty and odd and fun? I was having fun

And she went with it for a time, and

Then couldn't keep up. Not an issue with my habits or kinks or anything like that

But physically cant

And th n just switched off and got icky about it

God there's something i absolutely want to tell you but i cannot. At least not yet. Just know that i want to tell you and i wontcant. Just know.

Thank you for telling me all of that

Dammit

How clichée amiright

Not at all?

Unloading my wife story?

Nope

What cant she keep up with?

She is losing mobility

She hates the bed but

And I want to be delicate here

Met helpful suggestions with hostility?

And stated she knows the solution

Dude you dont have to be nice about her

That was about 3 months ago, maybe 4

The last time you... tried?

No, when she said she knew exactly what bed she wants

But here's the thing

That's not what she wants

Right

Because here we are, with no change

And ok I am very slow at times

Verrrrt slow

Looooooow sloooow lol

Th bed is not th point

Right

If i have to dash suddenly then i apologize

Sorry I just hit a singularity

Acknowledged

What else would you like to say?

At a point in time, I specifically did not want to rant about my wife

I understand

Please rant all you want to me

My dumb question from earlier: pro choice / pro birth ?

Well thanks

Walawala lol

What do you guess?

Told you there are dumb questions lol

Have you always been that way?

That way what now?

Have you always been pro choice

For as long as i have been aware of the issue yes. I think that dates to the year of birth of a sweet girl I know

I grew up in East Lansing. Dad thought at MSU. very liberal parents

Doesnt mean you share ideations

Lol dad taught as well

Well we do share

In they way that they did not impose

Not much

I think they both rejected something from childhood
Esp mom

Wonder what that could have been like lol

Happy midnight

Is there any issue you wonder my standings on?

You too

Woo!!! 🎉

Well I can tell you as a kid growing up in a liberal house

I hated it

I mean not really really

But I was seldom happy

Really?

I had to figure out shit for myself

And things don't always work

And are not always as advertised

Haha

Correct

But i think ultra conservative is much, much worse

I can't honestly say I hated it

But teen brain is wild

I am certain I would hate 18 yo me

Mostly

I actually kind of know that teen brain is wild, but please share more

I've been uneasy about one thing or another my almost whole life

Sometimes trivial shit

Do my pants look cool
Do my socks match

I have a counterexample for you

Oh? I'd love to know!

I was so insecure about my legs not being smooth enough that i essentially deplaned them to be good for you

You have also now seen me at my worst hairiness

Really?

That amount of minutiae consumed me for days leading up to how to prep for you

Yes, you have

I'm still rdally, really, really insecure about a lot of trivial shit

I get it!

As in, will i taste okay if i dont actively have a freshener in my mouth while he is kissing me

Aww :)

Very literal

Yo do, and it's ok

I still havent fully fully relaxed for you because

Well, reasons is why

But i hope we get there

Can i ask another?

Of course!

And I hope so too!

Do you have an idea of your perfect making love session?

Can you tell me about it?

Do you think we've been at that place? I need details either way please (why/when/why not/etc)

I can tell you why I'm not able to fully relax yet, if you want

I think you and I are going to that place.

Call me slutty but sex has seldom been this fun..

Or you could say this is a new sort of fun for me

I think my question isn't quiiiiiiite clear

U prob lol

Maybe it was and I didnt read your answer well enough

Come at me bro

I think I've told you before what one of my ultimate desires is, and with you

null

Now i feel like you're looking at my soul

Maybe?

You trying for real?

Do you know what i want?

I can fake it till I make it right?

I'm just taking cute hair pics

Lights
Camera
Bitch
Smile

 ​❤️​ to “ Lights
Camera
Bitch
Smile ” 

(From a swift song)

Love that

null

Lights camera bitch smile, even when you wanna die

He said he'd love me for all time

But that time was too short

Breaking down i hit the floor

All the pieces of me shattered as the crowd was chanting more

You're so damn adorable

Thank you:)

So then, referencing above, what do i want most?

And from you

You want me to love you for all time

You are fast acquiring this

Idk how you do it

I'll think on that

In the meantime, i want something more immediate

And I've told you what it is

But i dont think we're on the same page yet

null

Surely this is the page

Says right here

May fez iz yo feZ

Well it's something you've had but not me

Oh you're gonna make me think

It was entirely this most recent chat before the lyrics

I can just tell you

Relaxing?

Ye of cryptic incantations

Ok I need to make food. This will take 15-20

It is nearly 1am!

Have to sleep here... sweet dreams babe

The answer is that i want to make love. Not as an equal term for having sex

Oh ofc!

Sorry I thought that was inherent

Gnight babe!

I love you

I love you too

What do you mean you thought it was inherent?

I want to make love to you

I want that sooooo sososooo much

Silly question - do you know how? Can you tell me how it's different?

Not allll the specifics please

In my opinion

Most of what we've been doing falls in the category of making love

Does that surprise you

No

But there's a moment I'm seeking

A moment? Can you say more about it

It'll be when I'm relaxed

And kind of serious but light

And we'll just know

Slow, eye locking with you above me

Yeah I hear you

I suspect you will experience that, and new goals 😘😘😘

Ohh?

I mean look at you go!

And me

What do you have planned?

As if I did hehe

I forget everything when I kiss your skin

I can remind you

Ha

You assume I have a plan

And you are correct

My plan is to show you a good time

By whatever means called for

Asterisk lol

And hopefully I get to come in you too

Yes, just not Wednesday

2024-11-05T05:11:37

null

Good morning!

19 more :)

Are you occupied tonight?

2024-11-05T07:13:24

Baaaaaaaaabe!

null

Yay drugs

Aside from that, As of this morning ive lost about 50 pounds since march :)

Maybe a little more but i was so thrilled looking at the scale

2024-11-05T09:18:11

Want something cool?

Omgggg be more awake plz!

2024-11-05T10:35:37

I'm awake now! Hieee!

null

Haaaaaiiiieeeee

How are you?

Whatcha doin?

Thinking anything?

I'm not thinking lots yet lol

How are you miss perkyness?

I'm borderline high on oxy and have been for hours (but actually i think this might just be how non chronic pain people feel everyday? It's fucking amazing)

Been accomplishing things

Woo!

null

Rehabbed some books comme ca

Cleaning the croffice still

Very nice!

Assembled a bookshelf

Organized some of the kid books

Voted yesterday

But it was late so i count it for today

Did some OT

Sleepgasmed

Found some cool stuff laying around here that is now destined for you

Woke up around 4? I think. May have been closer to 5. Idk.

So

Wowow! So productive!

I cannot believe what i can do when I'm not on the verge of unaliving from agony

Also rehabbed a chess set

I think i have some random unhinged thoughts to share. Theyve been ruminating worse than bovine cud

Lol!

Worse than bovine cud

This is serious business

Exactly

Just to clarify something

Is it oxycodone, oxycontin, or something else that you're taking now?

Oxycodone

It's not a new script, i just dont really use it because... well i don't know hut i kind of save it for emergency pain

I still have hydrocodone, acetaminophen w codeine, some other pain stuff i cant think of

And lorazepam, alprazolam, and klonazepam. On occasion someone will prescibe me diazepam as well.

I know it seems insane, but they really fo serve different purposes

Esp since nsaids are a permanent no for me

I also have gabapentin thay i take scheduled every night. And pramipexole but that's kind of a dufferent one

I am mostly familiar with your alphabet soup of drugs lol. Makes sense! Ty

I take more than that lol

May i make my random & unhinged statements? I think they'll make you think

Yes please!

Even if they arent traditionally happy things ?

That's ok :)

Okay cool for now:

SA doesn't always hurt. Doesn't necessarily feel good and can be the worst and weirdest placed physical pain ever but it's hard to explain that it can be neutral

And i was reallllllly convinced i wanted to try cnc. Like, all sorrs of scenarios. I dont feel as strongy for that anymore but i do still think i think i want it. Very complicated and i dont trust anyone enough except you and you're 1000000% no

I had it in my head that it woukd be hugely cathartic and healing but i dont really know

There's for sure some kink things we need to explore that dip into the bdsm realm though. Nothing too extreme but wrist or ankle ties, being a little rough, etc are huge turn ons

Have you had rough sex?

What about angry sex?

Can you tell me about those experiences?

What is cnc again?

I've never had rough or angry sex actually
My experience is quite vanilla

Consensual non consent play

And it blows my mind that you dont have that fantasy locled & loaded

I just don't like meanness

I can dig some role play probably

Right

You arr very literally the only guy I've ever met who doesnt have that as a top tier desire

I will have to tell you about this couple we met at a show in Flint

From what i hear, it's about power & control vs anything else

Oh i look forward to the story

Remind me in a couple hours

I need to hop in the shower and make a Kroger run

It's ultimate power for you to do whatever you want even if i say no or stop

But the secret is that i hold the real total power because i have a safeword and if i say that then it all stops immediately, so the trust i give you offers us both a good amount of control

What are you getting me chez kroger?

This is just a decir piece - what should i put where my thumb is?

null

How about a pie?

Where my thumb is?

Oh! Like literally that spot

Maybe a lamb or goat?

Hmmm. Maybe? I was going to put it with my other chickens, and they are solely poultry

Mayhe a sunflower?

What was kroger for?

And why kroger vs meijer?

I hates Meijer

Groceries and a mop!

Daddy needs a mop

Daddy is getting 2 mops! Lol

Hahaha

Gonna mop the hell out of that basement lol

Nice

Poll:
You scan
Or cashier ?

In general, cashier

Line & # of items are factors though

You?

null

Lunch in bed

Thank you that is perfect timing!!!

??

What about it?

Bc I just waited what felt like forever for someone to clear me to buy alcohol

And then you popped up cute af

Awww

What did we get me?

Mop and mop!

Also.... havent showered or put on makeup or even brushed my hair lol

Mops =/= alcohols

Heyyyyyy

Alcohols! Beer and beer

What's tomorrow's plan?

Watchu wanna do girl?

I can come over as early as 8

If you want to get breakfast we can do that

If you want to smoke we can do that... After breakfast lol

If you'd rather have a chill day of shopping I'm down

Sounds good to me

All of it

If you want to roll into the sheets and do things I am down for that as well

You know my restriction

Yes I do

I always like doing that with you

Though I'll miss the special sauce

Maybe you make it a glaze instead of a filling

Precisely!

That will be a first, jsyk

Oh!

I might not have any idea how to react

Goody me too actually

Fr?

You've never finished on someone?

Truth

Another question - have you finished innn all of your partners at some point?

Yes

I think that's insanely hot

Rly?

Yeah

Does it feel better for you to finish inside rather than anywhere else? Is there a difference?

I don't actually know, right?

But mouth and pussy feel different

And I think coming on a girl would be hot fun

How are they different feeling?

Oh, i have additional "news"

Hard to describe. Pussy has a sort of consistent pressure, mouth is more uneven
There are so many nerves firing in the moment of orgasm I feel every nuance

Mmmmmm

Interesting

It'll be your choice tomorrow

I HAVVVVVVE to take a nap now though. I will ttyl

Think about everything you want for tomorrow

Ok! TTYL ❤️❤️❤️

😴

null

2024-11-05T16:31:12

Je me reve

*reveille

Oh!

Bon soir!

Xoxox

Ça va?

Ca va. Et vous?

null

Happy

Yeah? Whycome?

Idk, just having a good time

How was your nap?

Lovely I hope!

I love naps even if I'm a bit weird afterwards

It's usually so refreshing

I really needed it

Yay! 🎉

Do you feel better?

Mostly yes

You make choices yet for tomorrow?

And what are you doing this saturday and maybe also all next weekend?

What is the earliest I can come around? This will help me decide plans for tomorrow

I have no idea about weekend yet

Or any weekend lol

I think 8ish is probably earliest

Okay!

L is working normal hours

So 10 then

Lololol

Works for me

Lol

No srsly

But he's supposed to start at 0730

As in, be at afhq

Ok I will plan by 9 to arrive

If to want to get bfast we should do it first

8 is fine if that works better for you

Where?

If you have a spot, there
Otherwise is Fleetwood ok?

Havent ever been but probably

It has lovely options for veggie me. So I like

Excellent

Ofc they have diner bfast it is a duner

Diner

I dont eat as .uch meat as you think lol

I've not really had a thought about that actually

I also have no idea how much i might eat in general. Might be straight carbs & coffee

Does it bother you that meat isnt 100% gone from my diet yet?

No it's fine.

I'm not judgy like that

Lol I reserve the right to gloat if it's not to your liking. That does happen.

But no it does not bother me

If what isnt to my liking?

I missed a step lol

I'm describing a hypothetical

The meat

Nvm I'm being a brat dick anyway

Lol i kinda figured all of that

We'll see if i ever try and put meat in my mouth again, hmm? How about that??

Hey sister it's your choice all the way

No questions asked

Ope, boys just walked in

I might be afk randomly

Mmmk

You get that that was innuendo?

Oh lol

🍆

Haha 😂

🐷

Je suis cochon

Je suis vegetarian

Bahahahaha

Mais.... le jambon? C'est exceptionel

Svp

Vites

Vites?

On dit "vite" si on veut dire "fast"...

Ou "hurry"

Lol

Vite! Svp

Et merci

Vite avec.... quand je vous donne de la tete?!?

Ohlala

Et la tete!

Lol

Apres le petit dejeuner au matin? On fait quoi?

null

Oh, it's a pipe tool

For packing

Sure it is

After I sweeten it with my ass lol???

Thought you didnt like that kind of play on you?

I dont

But I can still talk dirty right?

Ofc

So then you would or would not consider making that implement more saccharin with my sweet ass?

Besides I need to make the next one longer

And I think the one I made last night would be better, don't you?

I dont know if we've established if it should be tested with me or not

Ok no worries

Do you really like things in your butt?

It's ok

If so

I think i would like to try it

I think i would like it

❓❓❓

I thought this was already known to you

Nope. Just the plugs for the pics i showed you, which weren't procured or placed or photographed by me

I want to try exploring that world

Ohhhhh

Well

Ffs

Fuck mep

Meep

Lol

Is that a no?

No lol

What do you think then?

I'm fine with playing.

I might be weird about it, but I'll be clear

And you?

Lol

I dont want you to do anything you dont want to

Sorry--i will Try to be clear

I might like a little a little is what I'm saying

I'm talking about me receiving. Just me for this part of our conversation. You lead. That's the rule

Do you need more clarity still?

I have not made all of my feelings known yet

All clear here babe

Okay

Though I feel super weird now

Nanana

No weird, only truth

What do you mean? 🤔

Let's be Frank

You are Frank

I am Frank

Pleased to meat you

Hahahahahahaha

What would you like

Lol

And don't worry about anything I ever said ok

Let me say.... i have friends who do plenty of this activity and a thousand things you would never do (nor would i ask)

Ive already asked them every question in the book about this and more. I know things. Lots. How to do those things. And I'm very aware you and i both appreciate hygienic practices. That needs not to be of concern. And the actual logistics of it, i kind of know and also feel how to do it all/have it done

I will always worry about what you say

What are you thinking for tomorrow's activities? Where do they take place?

Please clarify what you mean by "where"

Examples range from "on the bed" to "somewhere near Mason" to "near a meadow in the back seat but actual coordinates tbd"

But you can clarify more than that if you think you should

Got it got it

How critical is it for me for know this now vs later?

Not, unless i need to somehow prepare

No prepare worry

Let's keep it to familiar things for simplicity ok?

Except I will take you out for bfast if you like

Yes, good, i wasnt thinking anything else - should i have been?

Nope all good

I actually might have more niche requests but all familiar and normal and whatever

Ok I love all that

I'm just trying to simplify requirements

Bc I am in no way ready to set an agenda

😘😘😘😘

No prob

Why did you think i was trying to?

Your answer will help me

And havejt we been setting agendas or mm

??

Idk
Read it as agenda
Am stupid sometimes

So about cars

And your back

That sounds like a bad combo to me

Do you have relevant experiences?

Asking for a friend

As if

Lol

Ive given road head and hands

Been bent iver the front seat and center console before getting the D in a parking lot

Ive fucked in the backseat of a chevy trax while his gf drove us all around lansing. So kinda?

My back will be fine if you figure out logistics

Ok I need to know more about story #3 sometime

But point taken. You've convinced me

But there's a lonely bed in the upstairs here too

And might need that for my secret selfish plans

Wella Wella poor poor bed

I love your bed

I love you in your bed

Remind me please:

Lube ready

Oh wow

Okay

Lol

Can I still pussy fuck you as long as I don't come in you?

Yes

Ok just keeping abreast of options

Sounds good to me

Sorry if i wasnt clear about that

No worries luv,

Do you have ideas in that pretty lottle head of yours?

No

Yes

Undressing you

Kissing your neck

Oh yeah and I owe you a nose lick for something

Nonsense!

It's true

Scroll up like 10,000 messages

It's right there

L just got home, in case i am suddenly quiet

In plain view

Ok

It's established

So then you should know what super selfish chore i want you to do

Ohhhhh?

Ppleas say more

Start guessing

Or asking questions

You'll figure it out

null

null

Yes! Can i take you somewhere to look?

Can you take me? And look? Abs

Lol

Better start guessing what i want

You want me to shave you?

Um no

Fold your panties?

Lick your bra clean?

Suck your fingers?

Clean your ears with my tongue?

Clean your teeth with my face?

You've quite thw dirty mind tonight!

Plz

I wanna be slutty and perfect

Then make me feel good

AOh!!!!

The story

You forgot to ask lol

Make you feel good eh? I will break the previous record of coming for 2 hours

For you

Consent?

Yes l9l

Better incorporate some neck and shoulder kisses along with some ainful back massaging tho

Deal, deal

Fair warning, I will probably be tired , especially after eating. Let me have a quick nap? Like 1 hour

Sure

We dont HAVE to eat if you dont want

Will you lie with me

It's best

Ofc

Ok it will be good and yummy

Yes, I'm just going to be slothy and crude for a bit

It's ok yeah? I only eat bark and shit

And I like to hold you lots

Yeah

It's good

Ty

Ty

What do you want from our day?

I don't know

You canna say that

No

You give me one example first

You say what's on your mind. I already did above

:P

It's ok even if not
I just want you to be happy
So want to know what kinda special things you might like?

I feel very very selfish and entitled saying them

But i do have some things in mind

Fine fine fine

I don't think I will surprise you at this point

Do you really want me to say them.

As in

YES PLZ

Things that sound wonderful to me that are attainable for tomorrow:

Breakfast and coffee

Making out a lot

Neck/shoulder/etc kisses

Some massaging

A bit of shopping, maybe

If no shopping then maybe tidying or assembling shelves or sorting

Sex with you is always on the agenda too

Yay! 🎉

Ty

Oh. Something else

I want to talk

Ok!

Just know thar most of these stories i havent ever told anyone, and ive only said one out loud ever and that story was of the first time i self harmed and was to my therapist. Once

Ok np babe

Lmk if there is any safe space prep that can be done

Like?

Let me know if there is anything I should do

Okay, thanks

I dont really know. Do you have examples? I might actually

Like should I bite my lip
Or yours

Can we rub nipples

Together

Just a little

So I can grab your beautiful ass

And pull you to me

Can you be firm? Like, a little forceful?

But i had legit suggestions for if i tell you stories

Yes ofc

Ok

I know what else i think i want tmrw

Yesssss

Tell me

Porn

Maybe other things

God im a terrible influence

Yay! 🎉

Lol a fun subreddit sometimes is r/publicreminders

I'll have to check it out

Simple premise

One of us takes a nsfw pic of the other, and displays it on their phone some time later in a public place, such as at a diner having bfast. The phone of the person on display takes a picture of the other person's phone with the subject in the frame

I'm making it sound overly complicated

Nope i get it

It feels like a deliciously slutty exercise

But takes planning

Or the presence of mind to snap a nsfw pic

You know i want you to take them at some point

Why is that? What's in it for you?

Don't get me wrong. I want some. But you feel like there's a trust line to work out here. You seem very at ease with the idea. Why don't I grok this?

Grok ?

Understand

And you think i feel like i need to trust you more?

I don't understand why you would offer that up so freely

A few reasons

I trust you

Pics make me feel sexy, esp knowing you would want them

We havent established rules yet. If they're of me, i get to set those rules

I've been burnt before and survived so i could do it again if i had to

I love knowing you want pics

Ok, great!

I want you to have control

I don't want to share them anyway

Because I'm greedy

Lol okay

That reminds me of something that also adds to my security

You haven't been pushy for pics from me

And i havent seen pics of anyone else from you

I don't have pics of anyone else

Except what I got online

My point there is that if you'll me pics of other girls then i know you'll show me to them

2024-11-06T05:53:58

Good morning!

2024-11-06T07:19:58

Good morning!

Just waking up.... you have an arrival time in mind?

About an hour?
I'm about to get in the shower now

Yeah that should be good. Just needed to know :)

😊

Hello!

May I come in?

Are you here?

I am!

Okay cool. I'm unready but will come get you lol

2024-11-06T17:48:24

Wow my house reeks of cigarettes

??

The back door must have been open for a while. That door leads to the porch addition where the smoking happens

Oh no! Im sorry 😞

To the basement?

Thank you for all of today

I'm really sorry i ruined a lot of it

You did not ruin anything

No apology accepted

I really do want to hear your stories

I'd like to think I'm helping in some small way. I can't change what happened, but I can listen

Im sure you are. I dont know either, but i dont unmask like this for basically anyone. It's very strange

I did something i didn't think i coule do so easily though

Another sort of first!

Still hasnt set in in any way, shape, or form, but at least it's knowledge to me now

It's something I'm kind of looking at from outside for now and i dont know what to make of it

When i was a kid, like a kiddddddd kid, that was rape

Yep

It still doesnt feel that way to me and i dont know why

At the same time, i am never sad that one of them is dead

Literally never. I do not misa him. Not that I'm glad he's gone but i feel indifferent

That makes sense to me honestly

I have something totally fucked to say

I knew him, it didnt always hurt, tgere wasnt some secret back alley with gang members in the shadows, and i didnt say anything so i feel like i was complicit in leeting it go on for years

I dont think there's a real name for what to vqpl that

*call that

Idk, but I don't think that is uncommon

I didnt open my eyes upstairs when i was talking

Did that help? I mean, did it make it easier to talk about it

Yes. Thank you. I dont know if you knew or not

I wasn't aware actually

I might struggle with looking you in the eyes for a bit. Might not.

Thanks for the heads-up :)

I appreciate you not being all over me while i was talking

Yeah ofc

It seemed like a better time to listen

And hold you

Thank you

Absolutely. You are welcome

Do you have feelings or thoughts?

Sure

As always, I am astounded at how many people and institutions have failed you

Youve added to that list somewhat

And I'm even more impressed at your resilience. How did you not end up like one of those poor discarded souls in Virginia? It's a rhetorical question, but you have every reason to say life has put you through the wringer, the blender, and the chopper, and you're still here?

Not without a few metaphorical bruises and scars, and indeed, very real ones. You deserve to be taken care of by someone that cares

I appreciate that. I have to be okay with that not happening

It's always wise to have a backup plan, yeah? But I hope the universe is done tormenting you at the least, and that that you find

Someone who can be a caring friend and everything else you need

Back up plans are good, yes

What else?

I'm sure glad you're here. I'm sorry about all the crap you've been served and suffered.

And I love you and want to protect you and hold you away from harm;

What I can do, I will do.

And I like feeling like we are friends and not just FWB, not that I really know the latter scenario

Somehow

I've been able to provide some firsts and I love hearing you talk about them because I think they make you a little bit happier. I hope I can keep going!

Yes :)

And thank you

I have a lot of firsts for you still

And i love you too and want to be your everything

We are friends

Yay! 🎉

How do you know how many firsts you are yet to have?

This is a very odd sentence for me RN lol

Hey you wanna see something?

Lol

I know some i reallllly wabt

And yes!

null

Nice

It's kind of a joke?

Yes

The board is v nice

There is a joke to why I have this

But hey the plumbers I had over a year ago complimented me on it so there that

Lol

My buddy in band and high school , Mike, he was a freshman skater

Lol he was a fr skater

We'd go downtown and burn quartet pinball Pete's, hit record shops etc

Jfc

*quarters

Well one time he put each of us in a raffle for this board,and I won it

I knew nothing about boards except I had a couple chums that were tricksy with them, cool stuff

So I fiddled with it for a while
Mike rode it and kinda broke in the trucks

Narayan rode it for a spell

But none of us could do much for real

But I guess it's cool? Lance Mountain is still a respected name in the biz idk

Very cool!

Lol shit I need to put some clean hardware on that son

Sadly, Mike ended himself in college at UM

I found out a year or so later. I was not good at keeping up though

Im sorry that happened

Thanks

I just realized this piece is one of a few things that keep this guy alive for me

Those kinds of things are amazing

You know what? There have been active attempts I've made, and precursored with all the signs, and no one in my real life cared or noticed or anything

So much so. I don't understand it

I'm sorry it happened to you

I dont know that you know that, but thanks

Awkward- that what happened to me?

Not awkward lol

"It" being every moment of selfishness that drove people to ignore your need for help.

At one level this astounds me

At another level I wonder if desperation and hopelessness lead people to callousness more readily than kindness. It feels correct to be, but morally against my grain

How am I doing lol manspainin...

Did i tell you about the day the school counselor called?

Was it related to the stellar performance by the principal?

Nope

Principal was 5th grade

Guidance counselor was 9th

Juicy

What guidance did they muster?

Two acquantances noticed i was depressed. They went to that office. They saw that i had every symptom of suicidality and told the counselor.

Counselor called my mom. Told her i was cutting and about the friends and all that

Mom brought me into the kitchen a few hours after i got home. Yelled and me quietly (it's a thing and it's awful)

I begged more for an actual counselor, since i was already doing that periodically

Got called a lot of not nice names and disparaged a lot more than that

You know how that ended after that, mostly

I'm so sorry! What a waste of oxygen

Sorry I was thinking about the counselor

And your mom failed you

I so do not like that

It's not my place to tell you about your mom tho

It's okay

It's confusing at best

To me at least

Does L know what I know about your childhood up to say grade 3?

Yes

He knows more than that too

Okay

Tx

Why do you ask?

I am wondering about the inlaw dynamic from his perspective

I would find it extremely difficult to like your mother

He and my mother are kind of bffs most days

K

Wow

Yep

Yeah you did say that before now I remember

He knows about my brother and my father

He still encourages me to talk to that guy in florida and to see him when he's in this state

He's heard my father & me talk live, verbatim

And has been an inperson witness to our dynamic and how i still get treated by everyone

And he basically does the same

So that's awesome

null

Harrumph

Cute

Ughh

Wait I thought I asked something lol

I didn't type it out

Have you ever had a discussion with L about supporting you?

Yes, many

But in what capacity?

Btw I might steal your "ugh" idea

It's brill

Supporting you with your mom

Let's make it a joint thrifting adventure goal ?

I honestly hate goals

More like an extended mission

Extended missionary...?

Oh

He hates thrifting HAAAATES

My mom loves it and he laments when she and i spend time together because he knows it'll be thrifting

I'll take that last one

I have something stupid to say at that

I felt like when i was talking today would have been a good moment to go really slow at some lovemaking

Me too!
Me too

I wish we had like 4 more hours
Or 8
Or 24

Bc there's so much I still want to do with my mouth around your neck
And your ears

And damn I love hearing you tell me yes Yes

I do like those spots

And i dont usually say yes, believe ut or not

I wish you were still here

You tell me Yes:)

I wish you and I were together rn as well

null

There is a real application in my basement for this knowledge

And you can help

I need a semi-opaque, easy to pass though medium with length L

Think hippie style bead curtains. You have to be able to pass easily though it

Is there an issue with hippie bead curtains?

Not likely. But my model is incorrect lol so please disregard

Hey
Lol
Important message here

Oh??

Yeah

Some day id like to give you a pamper sesh

You've done that no less than twice lol

Pretty sure more though

Ok great :)

More as in you have given me more than the 2 already

I love focusing on you

I feel insanely selfish letting you do that

Pffft too bad

It is my will lol

Describe such a sesh, please?

Make it so

You will submit to my pleasantries for I will command it

See what I did there

I'll get some warm washcloths, some nice cleansing oils and give you a delicious bath

And make you all squishy and moist

And

I work for tips

Just the tip?

Please tell me more

Nice warm you up, float you away into healing yummy space(TM) where you are free to spread your wings of desire and have anything you want

And maybe one or two things I want ? Yes yes

I think this would be a perfect smoking mood

So peaceful and intimate!

And gawd I love focusing on you

Wtf how do you do that

Oh, riiiiight

NGL fucking you deeply is incredible, rewarding, experiencial, sexy af.

A1 10/10 first class

How do i do what?

Which is to say

.

How do you make me want you so

Idk

I am just me

null

You are so wonderful

You're probably the most wonderful person ive ever met

There are things you havent quite pieces together you get that, right?

I believe it!

What questions do you have?

None ATM

I will wonder for a bit

Ok

Ok

Thank you for being so accommodating

I've been at your place snogging quite a few times now

Yes?

That's the only option too though

Yeah , ish! So I'm just saying thanks

Can't wait to do an extended vaca

Or something

Yes :)

Still alone, btw

The B is strong

??

One guess?

It starts a last name?

Yessss

I am so smart

Yes you are

You recall what's happening on Friday

Unpleasant obgyn procedures

Yes

L is going to comiccon all day on saturday

In Novi

I dont want him here necessarily

But like, he could have asked

Fuck I forgot to follow up with the comicon ref

No shit

It's possible to have pain and bleed for a while after

I hate this

Would L being there help?

No. It would be worse more than likely

But

He could have asked

null

Yeah, he made plans knowing this would be a difficult weekend

For you

Yes

He made these plans Monday

So with knowledge of medical things

After the ultrasound results and all of that too

And so drove from ann arbor to novi to get his wrist band

With his sister in tow

Ohhhh that trek

Wowow

Fml

Yep

I'm sorry

It's okay

I didn't finish my B story

Actually I have a different B story

No not that one lol

If you want to know more about my porn habit and it's so development

YES

And when am i going to see something?

So? Idk
It's not really interesting
Fml well today but I left backpack in car and forgot and we were talking and and and

So B

I was a noob in Reddit porn subs and followed a few posters

One advertised a "limited special offer" OF subscription, so I jumped at it lol

And she was like Yay! Totally ty and have fun

Cool, I actually told her I feel like I am always late to the party for specials, so wow!!

Well that was my first OF sub

And I actually liked her. She is not an extravagant or glamour gal. She's a once mom with a fucking good paying job by the looks of things, and I liked the MILF angle

And her hubbwas a sub whom she occasionally pegged

And I guess they were all big with friends, but we never got to see that

They were all *bi*

She'd often film in hotel rooms on company business

Anyhoo

I dropped off OF after 10 months or so, told her peace out. She was always really nice to me

Then I come back to OF in 3 months, look her up, and there is zero trace on OF, Reddit. Nothing

She was the first person i remember actually paying for (all of 8/no or some such), and conversing with

Hay

Sorry, someone just came home

I am free again tho

Thanks for sharing that story

Sure yes

I had a few OF sweethearts

But not really

Oh

Hay

Fyi

You know my hair is long

I always lose a dozen strands when I mess with my ties. But they are usually wrapped up in ties. But sometimes not. So bed check might be advised

Thanks

I mostly sleep alone but appreciate that

Good good

What do you want to know?

I have no more questions today sweets

Ok :(

You like questions

Does it bother you I have a drinking problem?

Sorry picked a personal one

It does not

Why would personal bother me? And that one really isn't personal

Personal in that I am internally conflicted about it

But thank you for that

Why are you conflicted?

Because it objectively falls in the realm of "things I should change to live longer", and yet, I find myself increasingly ambivalent about that

I know that world very very well

Yeah

I'm soaking that in rn

Not for the first time

Just a new connection for me

Connection between us or Connection you made in your mind?

Between us

I've been quietly aware of this attitude for ages

But I hate controversy

So I avoid the toicy

??? Lol

Topic

I have a similar line of thought that's a little more extreme too

I believe

I am asking of you'd like to hear ir

Yes, just had to reflect for a sec

I'd love to hear your's

Wtf '''

Nvm me lol

Share your reflections please

FYI my hair can be up to 600mm in length

It may be dark brown or white

Ok

Yes I avoided smoking cessation for at least 2 years bc I was afraid

And made it this problem that FML id rather have than face

And that was actually stupid of me

So here I am at familiar crossroads. You might think I got smart

But I did not

I am .ore scared than ever

Scared might be a touch strong, but the addiction is real

I have no worries about what I will do, other than creating a nuisance. I'm a happy drunk, I know not to drive, and I usually don't buy 150$ worth of records

Sorry if I've veered into TMI

In case of sleep

null

I love you

2024-11-07T05:55:56

Hello!

Thank you for sharing that

I am so so infinitely sorry that i fell asleep

How are you today? Any more thoughts about anything?

Pardon this interruption: i have a work task that I have to do manually and it's kinda dumb. Any chance you have a workaround?

Good morning babe! I overslept a bit :)

Happy to take a look at your process when I have my wits together

Better get that coffee!

Working on it!

😊

May i have cheer please?

null

Lol thanks

Still not talking to me

What?

Hey!

null

Wassup?

Meh

I feel blahhh

You're the last person who's spoken to me and I'm miffed about it

Will be cleaning today and maybe working

Wait, what? What is going on

He's mad that i went to the thrift store

You heard that yesterday

Ohhhh, and now he's not talking

Yes

Is he wfh today?

Nope

So what happened this morning? He just left without a word?

Yes

Same when he came home and i was in the living room cleaning

Huh

Sorry

Why sorry?

I don't know

I feel weird

It's wild how we kinda share this experience

Yes

Can you tell me how to not feel physically eeeuuchhhugh rn please?

Then work task

Hmm. Make sure you have something on your stomach, even if it's a plain cracker

null

Then try to distract yourself. Last time something like this happened to me , loud music and cleaning was the soluy

I'm mostly just swirly dizzy and oww

Alrighty then, crackers, check!

I keep crackers in every room lol

Can i show you some stamps?

Yes!

null

null

null

That's a set with cards and an example of one card

I have them in a pane as well

null

null

Oops lol

null

null

That's a catchall box for me to sort. Lots of international and firat day of issue

And these are mostly full

null

null

And these

null

null

And i have more that are just kinda hidden for now

Dang! That's a lot of stamps

I had inherited my grandpa's collection (lots of ww2 letters and stuff in it) but, yknow, flames kinda got them

Oh crap!

Yeah. It is what it is

Ohhhh i do not feel goos

You ok?

Idk

:(

Yep

Thinking of "calling out" for the rest of the day but i feel so wussy doing that and like I'm not comtributing anything at all, ever

Well we both know that's lies

And all my systems are being little bitches anyway and not working and they jist told all of us to get back on phones for the day

How do i do this nicely and without sounding whony and incompetent at life,

Well i bit the chomp

Poor baby!

I'm sorry

It's fine

Prob for the best

If you feel like escaping the house, plz let me know

Sure wish I could rn!

Me too

I might nap. Might go roam. Idk. I just feel like garbage

2024-11-07T11:46:22

Hey

Hey sweetie

How are you?

I just took a 30 min nap lol

Feeling good -ish

Oh, good

How are you feeling? Any better?

Maybe a little

Do you have any legit ideas for how i can feel better?

Idk what's wrong :(

Myalgia

And mood

They affect each other

Chamomile and or mint tea?
Warm bath (yes, that again)
Tylenol?
Gentle massage

I can try 1 of those, thanks

I know options are somewhat limited:(

Weed might help too actually

I appreciate it though

I might have a gummy

What can i make you?

You want to make me something, like something crafty?

Yes please

I also found a small wooden box you might like

It is unfinished for now

null

Yes, very

May i have the dimensions?

Yes:
230 x 100 x 30 mm
The handle is 30 mm thick, but at the lens it's only 15 mm thick fwiw

Do you want it ultra tight fitting or can it be looser, like a spectacle case?

What am i going to lunch on?

I'd say looser

Color or pattern?

Cheese quesadilla?

Good idea, no tortilla

Solid color exterior plz. Pattern good on inside, if it can be done that way

Which solid color?

Hard case or soft, meaning flexibility

I'm leaning towards soft, but not committed. It's easier to find a space for that way. I think pretty much any bright color would be good? Red, green, blue, orange, yellow, purple, etc. Except not white

Sounds good

May i have some cuddles ?

Yes please

Can we do it on the Internet

null

You know where to find me

Omg im even crying in the gif

I didn't actually mean to tap that one

But cuddles anyway

That one was perfect

null

Im up in my tower if you'd like to come rescue me

null

I need to go do something that's nothing

Dollar store it is :)

Lol

Anything you want there?

You can come visit :)

He still wont speak to me

Like, wtf has my life become

Did you try talking to him or something? How do you know?

When did that start anyway?

I've texted and tried calling. Teams-ed this morning. And i just know.

Started yesterday at that phone call

This is not atypical. Just irritating at this point. Took the drugs I'm supposed to and im feeling a lot better

:|

I'm glad you're feeling better. What's the right med in this case?

And I'm sorry L is being that way

I sure do understand too

He is always this wah

Kind of a lot of drugs

Norco
Oxy
Extra strength excedrin

And I'll take ativan later like my doc requested

Kinda weird - i still hurt the same or worse but i care less

Like kinda "numb" but not really?

Like my body feels ow but my mind is a little fuzzy

I am also unconciously self soothing

It was pointed out to me recently that i do this a lot without realizing it

I actually self soothe positively and negatively

Do you know what i do (unintentionally) for either? Ive done some in front of you

No, I don't know that I've recognized that

I hum, that's a really big one

Twirl my haor (that's why it's always down)

Rub my lega together like a cricket or flex my feet

Ohh I did notice you hair twirling yesterday

You HAVE to have noticed that i never stop moving my legs

Tbh I'm not super aware of it bc people do that sometimes, but yes

Lol okay

Done with working yet?

Tick
Tick
Tick

Watching clock as if it matters

Tick
Tick

Fuck it lol

Who me ?? Yes!

Lop

Dang you little so and so

I woke up thinking about you like that

Dammit

Soon babydollcakes

null

Interested?

Hard no

Ty

I can't handle flavors

Awwww sad!

Whatcha doin?

Trying to connect my laptop to my network storage lol

Dream of me instead ;)

null

Good!

Anyway....

Think of me naked lately?

Allllll the details please

Lol you are too much sometimes 😛

Yes I thought about you naked not much later (this morning)

When I was alone

And thinking about giving you the best hard on I can make

You haven't known this yet

And how exquisitely tight you were as I thrust into you, while I looked down, into your eyes

And your whole face said "fuck me please"

And we fucked and fucked

Are we still in dreamland or is any of this realized yet?

Well it was all fantasy you understand, but the second part was me being a more active participant

Oh?

Wait - do you actually irl get harder??

Oh yes

You seen maybe level 4 of 5 for me

That doesn't compute but i look forward to more

I want it harddddd at some point

And fir you to be a little rough and greedy for yourself

(But i demand aftercare)

Haha all will be provided

Im being text yelled at instead of silent treatment

8|

Will you engage or no?

No

Not worth it

I dont argue. I just get sad

:(

Sorry luv

Been there too ob

Can you just dig in to whatever you were doing? No need to dwell

What was i doing?

I was at the dollar store. Now i want more drugs, some caffeinw, and to clean

Rock and roll sister

Im so upset

Surely babe! I know it's irritating

And sorry too

I'm lamenting thia all to my mother rn

I have quite the sailors mouth

I think she actually understands though

Told her imma throw myself off a bridge if my roommate sitcb doesnt improve

Anyway babes

Yes

Stich?

Sitch

Like situation

Got it

Oddly enough, we just had a skirmish here. I walked away pretty quick

What happened?

Not worth repeating really

Wanna know something hilarrrrrrrious

Yes!

Guess what happened 14 years ago today

Uh-oh

You didnt guess yet

You were 24

I sure was

There are 2 primary answers

They go together

They aren't tragic

Syllables?

What?? Huh?

1st word how many syllables?

null

1 syllable?

What does it rhyme with?

Omg

It was my last first date 14 years ago today

Oh!

Congrats? Or ?

Idk

Just me and my life's cruel irony

And the second thing?

null

null

What about a cat lover mug?

Fml

My cabbages!

Burn them?

Poor bebes

No no no such a mean baby

Why are we exclaiming about cabbages?

Sorry, avatar last Airbender reference

Wanna see some stuffs i finded for you?

Oh wow yes please!

null

The mediterranean one has some cool salads

How lovely!

It's right up my cranial alley

😘😘😚

I notices there's still a James Webb book and a Grey's Anatomy body atlas here

Ohhhhh

Beebee

I♥️all things telescope

Any other issues?

Issues? That wasnt an issue

And isk. Probably

I'm kinda scared

What's happening?0

Juat about tomorrow and the following

null

3 of my best pencils have absconded to the other tray

Please help me

?

You're my only hope

Do you actually need help?

No

Ty

Channeling my best

Princess Leia

I know

Im sorry

Not well apparently lol

Im not doing well

Oh crap what is up

Scared for tomorrow and after that. And im so fucking alone and I'm kind of panicking

Im literally crying while i assemble a bookshelf

After specifically being told that i will be on my own tonight and i should go to sleep soon

I'm so sorry

I know

Why "on your own", or rather what is the part denied?

He's still mad

And he says he's tired

Sighs

Taking 2 Ativan

Wish me luck

I probably need food

Are you at home

Yeah why?

Just a status thing

You at home too?

I just. Ant

*cant

Current pov

null

I mean I'm intrigued

It's bad lol

What is bad

The bed

It's full of stuff and i need to sleep

No room for me then

I have a new development

Yes

What is it?

null

He just decided i dont need anything and threw it away

I was upstairs, he didnt say anything

Like put your things in the trash and mic dropped

I wasnt supposed to notice

Wtf

Like you wouldn't?

What do i even do

Is this novel

Huh?

New behavior

No and yes and i dont know

Can i tell you rrally upsetting information

What's happening babe

Well I'm alone now and just make some toaster things but i am empty and sad and full of secrets that get loosened with benzodiazepines

He is asleeo

Already??

Yes? I dont know when he was down here

Anna karenina but i matter less

Ffs

Anyway

Sry hold plz

All good
False alarm

Okay

What would you like me to ask?

Anything you want

What do you want to tell!

?

Random bits that align

Okay

Like the time i was cleaning and found a handgun in his nightstand. Cabinet wasnt locked or secured in anyway

That was surprising

He still hasnt said a word about it ever being there. Didnt then either

Sorry, my eyes are blurry

Ok np

Do you have a theory?

A couple

But nothing thay would justify open weapons next to where you and your wife sleep and

Not twll8ng her they're there

When was that?

Year and a half ago maybe,?

How do you know he is asleep

Might be playing video fames

I see

What are you doing?

I'm ok. Gonna fade out now

I love y'all

Sorry I'm having pronoun issues lol

Take care!

null

2024-11-08T06:31:10

Good morning :)

Hi babe!

How are you?

So far so good!

How are you doing

What time is your appt?

I am less than well

Not sure where we left off last night

Appt is at 10:40ish

:( I'm sorry

Why sorry?

I feel bad that you are unwell

Oh

Well, it's just normal pain for me physically so I'm okay

What's on your mind this morning

Apathy to my current relationship at this moment

And you?

What's the last thing you remember me telling you about last night?

Anything about trash?

Handgun discovered in nightstand

Nothing about trash

Oh okay

Well then

null

That was last night when i went to let sadie in. Anything of mine he decided he was sick of (not sure what the actual criteria were since it seemed just like whatever i had gotten with you and was waiting to be set in the dishwasher that i picked up on wednesday) he just put in the trash

I came upon it by happenstance - he didnt make a scene or anything. Just threw it away while i was doing something else

I'm sorry, you did show me that pic

This is oozing passive aggressive

Did you find more today?

I havent left my bedroom yet today

Is L still around?

I think so

Idk. He hasn't answered his phone yet

I am tired

Hi

Hey babe

null

How is work going?

It's worky

Got some PS work to do , finish my self evaluation

Is L taking you to your appt?

I guess

2024-11-08T10:58:46

Wish me luck

Drugs for lunch please

I would rather die than feel this way or be here anymore

Good luck babe!!!

Well

It's just about done

Yeah sorry I was late

It's whatever

Youre working

This MA is stipid as fuck and i want to go but cant

Grr

It's done

Thank goodness

How are you

Mixed. Energized by anger

You?

Ready to be done

When are you done? Plans then?

No I'm not done
Just wish I were

1600 ish

Are you back home?

2024-11-08T16:11:55

Yes, am home. Slept all day

Okay

How are you

I think ok

You?

I'm ok too

Why just ok?

Kinda feels like frustrations from the week are catching up with me.

But before you have any misunderstandings, spending ng time with you was definitely the high point of my week!

That's good! Same here

What frustrations?

Elections, spouse crap, price of eggs, whatever lol

What's new spousewise?

Nothing today

Don't get me wrong
Glad it's Friday

But?

But nothing I guess. I'm just being morose

Just need to shake off a bit

What's on your agenda?

Your feelings are valid

Agenda until when? How about yours?

Nothing here m8

Mine is cleaning. Per usual.

Probably same here lol

Wish you could come here & help me. Or sit & body double at least

Yeah that would be nice. I can be a good servant

Nope

Not even servitude

Whaddya mean nope

I mean i am kinda sad and tired and oww and could just use company

Yes ofc

null

What do you need done with it?

The turntable (43cm wide x 36cm deep) needs a shelf above the wooden table. Same height to fit above the mirror, below the installed shelf.

Had to be shallow depth shelf

Like a board and brackets, but I could probably improvise the brackets

Hdwe store brackets a re meh

null

That can be fun!

I enjoy it!

null

Because Velcro is amerifuckingcan

:p

I wish i was more fun right now, I'm sorry

Yer ok
Are you hungry?

Idk

Why? Whatcha got?

You have soup?

Yes

I have lots

I think i am thirsty

This is a good idea!

Do you have appetite?

No

See here is where I would make it for you

No you say

I Don't think so 🙅‍♀️

Lol

Ok
Need anything?

Maybe

What do you need?

I've a friendly cat. I'm halfway there.

Riiiiight

null

Afk up to 60

Very curious whst poat pic is....

I'd pay you for lots ;)

Friendly cat , meet Rebecca
Rebecca, Rama

Short for...?

Ramayana?

King rama of indian lore?

Lord Rama

Hindu

Yes, sorry

Ramachandran Birch Holaday

Bc
He
Is
A
Birch
♥️

When he really gets going on that jumper he talks about it to passers by

I think he has some sort of emission from time to time

I wash the jumper regularly

Always a positive idea

Poor dude had his balls cut off you know

You did similar for yourself

Except I still have hormones I guess ? Idk

All 2 of them

Oh I'm aware

I hope they're enough. There might be three altogether

They're more than enough

And what now??

Are you tempting me?

Somehow, there is a star fracture exactly where my right thumb should swipe up

Time to replace that

I hope I'm always tempting you

You are always a delight

I feel like this must be a fubar evening for you

Fubar yet snafu

Where's your head at?

DR is accepting the pizza delivery. Back in 15ish

Why do you think my evening is fubar snafu ?

Girl surgery is not my idea of a good time

Oh. Well yes, correct. Did you want me to make it worse for you to imagine?

Not really

What would you tell me if I were there?

Unsure
What would you start with?

I want to ensure your post-op is all covered

Sorry, I'm not trying to be coy or chummy i just literally don't understand the chatting because i took a mg of ativan last night and i guess it super affected me

Ok :)

So can you rephrase what you wanted a response to please?

If I were with you this very moment, what would you say?

I would have already told you about the ordeal. I would just want you to cuddle me and pet my hair and let me cry and probably tell you sad stories

This is perfect

I will do it, next opportunity

I wish I could be there rn

Me too

https://open.spotify.com/track/6cbCWhDbKgd8oMV3dRESRt?si=gylbk2pYSKS97n493fetog

Thanks

One reason I love these gals

Words chosen well

I'll listen to it when I'm in a different mood

It was too ...not unhappy for rn

Fwiw it's an ironic device. But no worries

I feel like i should just use things that will pull me farther down for now

Visceral like?

Yeah

Do you have faves?

Sometimes I drill straight into a cry mix

Yes, depending on why i want to be sad. L9ke what trigger I'm looking for

But seldom wrote it down

Old go to for me
https://open.spotify.com/track/26uVYNtKahTAcZMDWiuBnt?si=6fGM6McPTNy_xBVVaJpBkg

I feel like i know this one but i dont

Worth a listen

Also.... you and i are misaligned when it comes to invoking sadness and going farther down

Haha I kinda expected that

Tell me about yours

It doesn't happen that often and i cant make myself sad - it has to have been something that i felt that sent me there. Ir a realization i have. Or a sparked memory or something like that. Then i just get lost in my mind and i feel like im not hurting enough for whatever reason so i augment it with more memory trajectory or relatable lyrica or feels or music from that time

I get so far that i keep a few on repeat that i know will keep me sad, usually in this state of mind i havent cried but want to. I lay down flatter and hope it all consumes me but it rarely does

Yes

Major outer things can definitely do this

And random inner things for me at least

Yes

And I may latch on and apiral

Or not

Yes

But it can be satisfying in its way

A good outcome

And processing

Of emotions

Hormones are a mf

Yes

Exactly 👍

YAY!! 🎉

S e e I'm a goth girlet too

What is your advice

null

I
Just
Say
No

Good girl

😊

Idk how to tempt you now. Sry

Whay are you trying to tempt me for or with?

null

Oops

And you think i don't already want and need it,

Oops... nah

Wait isn't this Rebecca

Sry

Sniff

Reset

null

Ok lol

Yay! 💐💐💐

null

Aww

Woo!!!

How has tonight been?

Pas Mal I would say

Cool 😎

null

Fake baby mouseling?

Idk he decides actually

Lol

I do bait them ofc but they will often bring such things to my hangout,

Whether I'm there, or as a surprise next time

They love the praise

Wonder where they got auch a crazy idea

Fjk Rama is full on fucking the blanket now

I guess RN I could film l

Nvm

Uh wow

Fine time here

So how's your low tug going?

Feel up or doun

Like music?

Whatever you like!

Color?

I'm not sure what "low tug" means

Wotd?

Sotd?

Where's your head at?

Sad

Happy

Down for the most part

Perfect

Overwhelmed and apathetic, simultaneously

Direction desired?

Away

More energetic or same? Or less?

Idk

https://open.spotify.com/track/3DZfp14PTnqbFToBnCztfW?si=oEVIpZwMQzyJG2sDHSUm_w

Yes

Yay!

I so love that one

2024-11-09T00:07:00

Hey

Hello!

Xoxox

Xerox

Xenophobic

null

Actually not xenophobic

Hope your sleep is perfect

2024-11-09T06:08:53

null

Good morning!

Explanation of yesterday's poor behavior & attitude #1: no anaesthetic

At all

Just the ativan i took the night before as a calming agent

2024-11-09T08:39:34

Might be afk for long swathes today, jsyk

2024-11-09T10:26:43

You doing okay?

Hiee babe!

I've been snoozing long time

null

Why so sleepy?

I guess I was up pretty late

How come?

Just listening to music and whatnot

Nice

Anything ot anyone new?

New phone screen protector!

Cool

I meant new artists or anything

Not this time

2024-11-09T13:13:41

How's it going?

Did you need a mirror? What size?

Free at all today or tomorrow? Idk if i am yet but maybe

I do need a mirror, 15" x 20-28", or can be cut down (no bevels)

I'm not likely to be free but hope springs eternal

Hey i might need some help. Cant really talk this second but... . Idk

Ok

Remember my set of encyclopedias?

Yeah!

He threw them away

Wtaf

null

Wow

My mother has been here all day too

He is at comic con

I think i would lik3 to just stop breathing and sleep forever now

All of the energy has left my body

But i have to go paint with a friend in a few hours

I am on the floor and begging for it to just swallow me whole

I'm so sorry

I have no idea what else he's thrown away at this point

Right?

And i havent told you most other things that bother me but.... idk

Is your mom helpful or at least supportive?

In what way?

The way L treats you, and your things? That's really shitty behavior

It gets so much worse

But anyway

Ive shielded a lot of it, sometimes had mini breakdowns. She's been more supportive of him than of me til less than a week ago

Freaking nuts

I feel like i should make more sense to you the more you crack me open

You make sense to me already

I might, but i will make more sense as time goes on

Ok :)

Can i tell you something I've said bit idk if you picked up on it?

Ofc

L was the first person i had sex with voluntarily. He told me after we started dating that i was supposed to just be a ONS of his

I remember the ons part

This could be interpreted as kind of telling

I am unfortinately very aware

He danced with me for almost a whole song at our wedding. His mother got 2 half songs and his sister got 2 full songs

I am so, so tired of not mattering

That's understand for sure

2024-11-09T17:19:43

Hey

Hello!

How are you?

My children just walked in. Literally one minute ago lol

I'm doing well. Fine even!

That's great!

How is your day?

Are you feeling well?

Oh fuck no

Oh snap

What is happening?

Just blind rage and agonizing pain. The rage is newer. My mother just dripped me at frandor and I'm painting with my friend in a bit

Just lots from the last 14 years that's zapping me in sharp bolts

Why rage?

2024-11-09T19:13:32

Lots of things

null

Mid painting

That looks very serene!

I love this place

My painting? Lol

I know where to find it too

Looks like the swamp near where i grew up

Lololol

Nope - not joking

Is that what you wanted it to look like

I love your swamp

Lol thanks

This is midway through

😘😘😘

Awww

null

This hexagon has opened a portal in my house

It doesn't get captured on camera

You need a pentagram for that

Fuck

We going somewhere tomorrow?

Are you being sra

Sra?

Serious

For tomorrow or the pentagram?

null

Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow

I wish I could say

If these goofballs are going to be around, quite possibly

I will need to gather intel

If you need a quick decision assume I am spouse -bound

2024-11-09T21:20:44

Eyo

Bebe

How is the evening?

I'm having a good time

Loud music

Lathing

How are you tender sweet bebe?

2024-11-10T00:00:56

All is well

Zero

Zero one lol

2024-11-10T08:10:42

Good morning :)

2024-11-10T10:22:42

Hiya :)

How are you?

So far so good

That's good

House full of boys again? Still?

Yep

What do they do there? What do you all do?

They come around ostensibly to do one thing or another. They end up sitting around smoking and watching YT with their mom. I just do my own thing

Narayan did make me a very nice gin and tonic last night tho, so that was nice

And Nitya brought me a cool spider plant

Any more shenanigans at your place?

Describe shnanigans

Have said maybe 2 sentences

Have not seen

Things found in the trash, etc

Not that i am aware of

I did not find the encyclopedias in the trash, btw. I could no longer find them and asked their whereabouts

Right. What did that mean he "sent them up north"?

Seems like a lot to get rid of something

Like if a parent said that about a kid's dog when the dog actually died

Just a lie

Yeah

Wonderful

I knew that

How can i feel better right now? We'll go for physically to start with

Maybe a nice tea and a nap

I would love that

How do i stop caring about everything i need to do?

Like eBay o

???

Like what

The answer is always cleaning

Did you want to stopyp caring about that

Well no, but it prevents me from resting

Resting is good :)

I dont really know how unless i feel terrible

All I have to do is open a book and start reading
I'll be out by the second page

That's like me with screens

But i don't really stay asleep

So what's new. Anything?

2024-11-10T17:47:52

Just woke up

You?

Heyyy you

I have been puttering

How do you feel?

Good nap?

I feel like it was a good nap. Def needed it. I actually feel "normal people" unwell a bit so maybe that added to it?

Working all week?

Yes most likely

Kinda wish not!

For sure

I am an opening weekend orphan starting later in the week

Thursday right? It's on my calendar

Awww

As far as i know, yes

Woo!

I think i feel better actually

Except for the chronic pain that is aggravated rn

Nap was a good suggestion

And i really would not have done it if you hadn't suggested it

Aww

Well I'm glad it worked a little!

Do you feel like I've been neglecting you?

No
Why should I?

I haven't done so intentionally but ive had more going on in the last little while and havent been able to give you as much time or attention like i wanted

You're fine, lover. I know you've had a lot going on, and I was pretty sure you would benefit from sleep ☺️

Yes, but i didnt just mean today either

Ok

Why you so poopy head mean to me

Sorry lol

:P

do you have lingering discomfort from your procedure?

Not really

Thank you for asking

Yay!

Would you like a few thinking tasks?

This is difficult question

Why?

How many is "a few"? Is there a standard I can refer to?

Idk

Just looking for ideas

V a l i d ideas

Whatever comes to mind

Define "thinking". Are we talking about rational expression, creative expression, deep depression, some sort of calliope of all?

Or something else?

Vlad is full of valid ideas trust me

Step one is to stop thinking a la moi, lol

A la mode encores?

Yes what thinking shall it be

How to lessen scarrage - the unraised colors on my legs, primarily

How to do this one afg task i have to do but i want to do it quicker

Weed or whatever non rx and non illegal i can use to feel better and be functional pain-wise

Right

Re weed
I would absolutely recommend the friendly bud tender at any reputable dispensary.

Bc I have almost no idea

And I would expect a decent recommendation from those folks

Ok cool thanks

Do i just go in and start conversing with one of them? Do i make an appointment?

That's a good question!
I think pretty much anywhere is fine with walk-ins. Idk some might take appointments too.

Scarrage

Skin care and gentle stretching

To accomplish both, gently rub moisturizing lotion into scar twice daily

But i already do that

Good good

I will accompany you to a dispo if I can!

Did you have fun on your painting expedition?

It was ok

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I think pretty much anywhere is fine with walk-ins. Idk some might take appointments too.  ” 

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I think pretty much anywhere is fine with walk-ins. Idk some might take appointments too.  ” 

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I think pretty much anywhere is fine with walk-ins. Idk some might take appointments too.  ” 

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I think pretty much anywhere is fine with walk-ins. Idk some might take appointments too.  ” 

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I think pretty much anywhere is fine with walk-ins. Idk some might take appointments too.  ” 

Anyone I know?

You know of her

I'm really ham fisted with a paintbrush

The lathe is starting to feel like a creative medium for me though

That's excellent!

What do you lathe?

Well today I turned a handle for one of the tools I just got on our outing last week. A coat of catching is drying now

*varnish

Nice

And I made a little tool for the pipe yesterday

Which I fixed today because I kinda screwed it up

And I'm sorry I'm probably going to fade out any minute

So

null

Love you

2024-11-11T01:43:16

Love you!

Very sorry i faded out so fast

2024-11-11T05:24:32

Good morning!

2024-11-11T08:01:49

Sleeping in?

Oops! I sure did

I forgot to fix my alarm lol

Ohhh no baby!

Guess i have to keep an eye on you too?

Ai Yi yi glad I don't have too much going on today

What's happening? Anything?

De nada

"Nada"

De nada = of nothing = you're welcome

My desk area is looking better!

Yay! What did you do for it?

Still in progress

How's the day?

null

null

It should open to a full image if you click on it

Coffee & a free tshirt, isnt this what you IT & dataphiles live for?!

Sweet!

I had to make an emergency trip to Fresh Thyme to get coffee lol

Meanwhile the fascists are bugging people at Strange Matter again

New issues to resolve:

Filling chips in an ikea desk

Excruciating pain

And whatnow with strange matter?

Are you in office today?

No lol, I am a literal mess. Not in office

Pics or it didnt happen

null

Be cuter if you quasi pretended you were happy to be breathing

Lol I warned you

That's actually a smirk 😼 n case you can't tll

Wtf phone

Random cats I guess

Lol

null

Also an actual mess

When did you start eating forks?

I was done with the veg and still hungry?

Kids these days

https://www.reddit.com/r/lansing/s/bDMaD7ujk2

This just makes the pain throb

Uncool

Did you comment?

No, I was tempted to yell a troll in there, but came to my senses lol

I see

You stopping into afhq a demain?

Idk
Should I?

Always up to you. I have work to do but I'll be there

https://open.spotify.com/track/0ND8rF8oirMXtE59n585P6?si=IqCBg4gRQPu0xplgdXwezA

https://open.spotify.com/track/2rc0AohluQNbc4bnodjh1P?si=xkRoaTr_Tt6CZ2HaY4L7Kw

Lordy I need a nap

2024-11-11T14:56:13

Lordy i need to fuck

I mean....

Oops

Damn intrusive thoughts

https://open.spotify.com/track/4jPy3l0RUwlUI9T5XHBW2m?si=J8I8Dem1QAGsAOhwYBGoEg

Omg you're killlllllling me

Your birthday, btw....

Lol wassup?

Nah nah nah

Better response plz :)

Geez babe it's only been a week or so

More than a week and a half

You gave me the good stuff, not my fault I'm hooked now!

Heheh

So what did you want for your birthday?

Keep in mind it is ultra unlikely i can take that day off

You know that's the worst question you can ask me right


Because lol I have no idea

This is how I ended up with so much Powerpuff stuff

You know you can ask for services or tasks or favors too, right....?

Oh goodie!

I need to hear it though.....

Ok ok give us a minute

I've decided I would like to be served with whipped cream. That is to say, you, a la creme.

And in any other way that seems [in]appropriate

This is like those cooking shows where a special ingredient will be required. Up to you, chef Rebecca, to come up with a recipe!

I also like
Pencils with HB lead for sketching/random note taking

And now I find myself looking for carpenters pencils too. Nice chubby ones for marking up my wood

2024-11-11T21:04:53

Just saying

Too much innuendo lol

As you wish

You must be serious

:P

I prettified this thing

null

Very cool

What it is?

But I don't know what to do next lol

I have at least one idea, what I saw on YT

Cut it up and make little key fob danglys with some glam hardware

Panty dropper???

Be honest plz

Do you drop my panties?

Yes always

No this hand crafted piece of Americana

Almost

Like could we drive around, and every once in a while

I stop, give you the keys,

And you wave them and some random on the sidewalk

Are they gonna drop their panties or no

I'm sorry these are important questions

This question is still confusery

You are no ESL student.

How can I help?

Idk

Hey :P

I'm just acting something out

Okay

Just being goofy

How are things

They're fine

Took a nap, doing some OT now

Bueno

How's the night been?

Fair. Bueno

And you?

Asi asi. Fine.

Excellent

Yo

Ayy

I'm just crawling in bed

Single again now that boys are gone

How is your night

So when they're there, with whom do you sleep?

Night is okay thanks. Wish i knew more about upcoming stuff but oh well

RLH sleeps in same bed. Haven't touched in months.

Understood

Did we even go upstairs last wednesday?

Sure we did lol

Twice

Why dont i remember this?

Like, i dont recall one bit

My guess? Bc L called that afternoon and you deeply retreated

I dislike that, but it's possible

You were profoundly thrown by that call

Not remembering things sucks

I get that

We talked for a couple hours afterwards

I was kinda late leaving, but nobody at home said boo

If you need a reminder about the phone call I can tell you about the subject

No, i can vaguely recall that now that you mention it

I don't remember much of you being here, in the house

Wednesday, November 6. Another Wednesday off. Did fun things in the morning, but no fucking because I could not quite get there, but she demoed sword swallowing. Nice. Then we had breakfast, and did some thrift shopping. Then back to her place. She got a call from the hub and then was rather depressed. We laid in bed talking for a few hours. It was good :)

Literally my diary

Thats sweet :)

Now i want to know what the better entries say lol

Ofc you do greedy baby

You could always fill me with more on your own

More imagination, gutterminded daddy

Moi?

Sim

Dang I really wish I knew when we could spend a day together. A night together

Make up whatever you need to this weekend

Yesss

Seriously

2024-11-12T05:38:12

Good morning!

Hey babe!

How are you this morning?

Pretty good I think. How are ya?

Okay. Pain per usual but it is what it is

So when am i seeing your cuteness again?

As soon as I can :)

Error 404

Page not found eh?

Nope

Answer unacceptable

Is there any work to do under your desk? Maybe I'll just hang out there today

You can always check

Maybe I can just nap there?

Sure thing

I'm busy AF today so why not??

Do you/can you want to do anything the rest of this week?

Just helps me plan

Id love to but I don't know how I can or if I can

Totally fine but i miss you

https://open.spotify.com/track/4PvD06Pmbm2rHG2JjSlElF?si=ljGav279QiiQJ1EVaO2hwA

2024-11-12T10:55:36

How's it going?

Meh

What's wrong?

Lol major apathy

I'll see if another coffee will do the trick

Strange matter - how walkable from afhq?

The one downtown is 5-10 minutes walk

Same as hob nob?

Just fwded you an email

This place.... omg

What a shit show

I also have to trek to the cesspool if i want any since they only booked the huddle room

Not to mention getting about 6 solid weeks of work to be done in 3 days

I'm usually the only one who does it hut because they decided that NOW it's urgent, i also get to train how to do it

And it's all bcr1 that hasnt even been completely tested yet

I hope i enjoy my leaves

You wanna help with stuffs?

What you got going

Deciding what to do/where to go during my freedoms lol

Tomorrow, possibly thursday night, friday night, all weekend

Paris maybe?

That may have happened a few times before with a few locations...

Apparently tomorrow night too

This is very much high school rebecca

https://open.spotify.com/track/6sqNctd7MlJoKDOxPVCAvU?si=qdlRDgZsQcCKQDWmwZ5Jsw

I feel like youll like her...

https://open.spotify.com/track/7ne4VBA60CxGM75vw0EYad?si=NA3wEZ3pQ4uQkTzxXC8t8Q

Thanks for the music recs :)

Turns out the boys hit a deer on the way home, totalled their car

They're ok. Mom went to rescue them

Oh sweet baby zeuses!

Do you/they need anything?

I don't think so. They actually have another car in storage. They have to get a trailer hitch installed but should be good to go otherwise

Good good

I have a kind of serious question

My fistula arm isnt acting great but it's also not terrible. Idk if urgent care would even look at it? I iust want an ultrasound to check and see what's up, if anything abnormal is going on, etc. How do i know what to do? Ive never been to a hospital in lansing and i dont really want to try it out :/

Id probably try urgent care before er. On the chance that they will, might save hours of irritation.

What is going on with it?

My arm is cold and clammy but my immer elbow where the graft is is very warm. It hurts a lot and has for a few days. It's puffy

I've been really lightheaded and dizzy but unsure if that's related

It does still pulse

Yow, that does not seem like anything to mess with

It's been this way for a few days

I just want an easy solution

That never happens

Does sleeping on it wrong cause problems ever? Or is this a completely novel proy

It's not that i slept on it wrong

That's my denial and hopeful thinking

Subject change: would you be interested in taking a day to just go somewhere and do whatever? I know that's vague but i have 16 hours minimum that i need to spend before 2025 and you're a solid choice for good times ;)

Platonic or otherwise

Overnight would be ultra awesome but i know it's hard for you to swing anything away from home

She headed to the arkansasian homeland at all?

I still want to cook and homemake for you

Lord I hope she's planning to go. I'll be lucky if I get two weeks notice

You're so nice :)

Can i?

I'm not nice

I am kind

Can you what?

Make you food

I'd love that

Be kind to you

That too

null

Yay!

No joke, earlier I was wishing I could just lay on your bed and stare at the ceiling. If the cats and doggo want to hang out that's all good

Awww

I want that too

And if we make out we make out

Right

And if clothes end up on the floor, so be it

I would lovvvvvvvve if you casually started kissing me when we hang out

Do you have any desire to not take my top off during ... activities?

A desire not to? No I would not say that

I'm totally fine if you want to leave it on

It's not a premeditated thought that I have

Maybe I just get ahead of myself 🤣

Being completely naked still makes me really nervous

Ok then

But you like it

And i like that you like it

So i am starting to adapt

😆

Naked it is then lol

I'm kidding ofc

How do you prefer me?

I prefer you having fun foremost. I like to look upon you and your sexy self, but that doesn't always have to mean naked

And if I'm having fun regardless?

You know there's something i desperately want from/with you, right?

Which one?

You want to be tossed around a little?

Oh, yes

Yessssss

And have your hair pulled

I want you to be more hands on and kinda demanding

And yes. The hair

I'm working on being more assertive

For you

Omgggg yes please

And I'll reciprocate however you want

For you

You dont need to be scared of crossing any lines

Thanks. This is new for me, so it takes a bit of getting used to

But I do like it

I am absolutely THE ONE you can and should experiment on. With. For.

Well then

Yesssssssssssss

Sweet baby

Good sir

Heh I guess I have to put my fantasy of being a slut down for a bit

Why?

I like sluts

Kinda am one

Why would you stop?

Can I be a bossy slut?

Yes? What does that mean?

Lol what ever I want it to :P

Tellllll me!

Idk maybe I'll just make you sit on the floor whilst I jack off wearing only my pink fuzzy leggings lol

For sure

I'll throw on my lace mask for extra eye protection

Masks huh

Lace eye masks

Like one might find at a masquerade

Tell me more of your sluttiness

What do you imagine me in?

Tight fitting

Or.

Skirt/kilt commando

What if I said I want to jizz on your face?

Quite bold for you!

I'd do it

Yes would be bold for me!

null

Lol

Rawr lol

Lookit his tail 🤣

Lol

So

No reaction to my dress question

Ohhh! I completely missed that

Yes, yes

2024-11-12T21:36:34

How are you sweet babe

Very sleepy. In and out of wakefulness. You?

I'm full of some mix of piss, vinegar, and [redacted]

What happened?

Really good though now

You should doze

There is nothing to worry about nothing happened

My fake accent doesn't work here. I am fine babe. Sleepy baby

Sweet dreams princess

null

Are you headed to dream now?

Not yet! I'll be a couple hours ish

Disruption from childs

Food ordered late

Et cetera

🪂

Lucky for you i am somewhat wakeful now

Yay!

Tell me about your evening

Well

I had to spend some time with Mas Tiks (Rama). Which is normal. He is needy somewhat. He likes to walk over keyboards slowly. Notice minutae indiscriminant and move/remove it and so on

He's a really needy boy especially when he's tired

And I also have spent much time with Mas Bala. He's more chill, stays at ground level more often. And he's a chonk. And lately he says "yeah!" A lot which is funny

I also call him HazBala

Which is wrong on so many levels

Lol

What did you do for you?

I packed a bowl

And then discovered this fairy dust in the threads, and put that right in the pipe too

10/10 recommend

Fairy dust.....

Sorry it's kinda 1 part weird weed culture 1 part naivety

To be clear, this is resin from the leaves

But an exceptionally clean form and made a nice volume

I have no parallel universe to tell of such things

I wish i was with you in this journey tonight

Me too

Me too

It's honestly a random walk for me

Cats usually feature prominently

So I ordered hi fat & carb food for the fam and they are

Absorbing lol

Lol for sure

What do you suggest i do tomorrow if i venture out of the house?

There is a good chance I will call off tomorrow

Which is a thing I just decided

A little while ago

Excellent

!!

Elaborate p

Enhance

Elucidate

Extrapolate

Erect a more tangible model?

Where would you go tomorrow if you were me? It's unclear if or how much of the day L will be in office at this time

Our boy L Roy

Do you know The Jetsons?

Kind of

Lol

They weren't wholesome enough for me to watch growing up

Pppht

What might the window of opportunity look like

Let me see what i can find out

It's a pretty open day

Well then

Yeah

I will have to kill radio soon but

I will plan to leave here around 0800

I will check in ofc

Mmmk

Ok?

My hair might be filthy

Yes

That just seems liie such a short time away lol

My hair is filthy too

Should I cancel?

Nope, i like seeing you

Just wish there were more hours in the day

Same ☺️

Will you love me with filthy hair?

null

2024-11-13T05:51:30

I will love you with filthy hair under one condition

You have to also love me with filthy hair

2024-11-13T07:02:04

Deal!

Good morning!

Yes! Yes it is lol

Ohh?

I mean it will be

One can hope....

Headed to wake the bear now

Good luck!

He's getting ready to leave :)

Your plans, hopes, and dreams for the day?

Quality time with you

What does that entail?

There aren't wrong answers, jsyk

Talking kissing giggling hugging ...

After those 42 seconds?

Licking stripping sucking fucking

Oh i seeee

Em hm

Did you want to say something else?

And I can take you if you want to go somewhere

And maybe I just take you

"Just take me"....?

This is intriguing

No further explanation eh?

Lol I can't words

So

You wanna come

Over?

Can I can I can I plzzzzz?

I thought you'd have been here & gone by now

Lol I will be heading your way momentarily

I am here!

Venez ici

2024-11-13T17:22:17

Home again. Hooray lol

Lol

Thank you again :)

I had a good time with you today. Thanks for everything 💖❤️💖

How's your rolly stool working out?

It's fab! I love it

😊

I feel like I owe you for several thrift trips

Idk what you're talking about

I can only pay my debts by being a sex slave so I guess you'll be seeing a lot more of me

Aww damn

I still owe you so it's fine with me!

null

Lol

My calendar just reminded me there's something going on for four days starting tomorrow

What's that?

Something something Hunting

Oh how weird!

Good will?

Wabbit season?

Know what else this week was?

I mean, goodwill is always a good time.

Good will hunting sounds a little murderous though

Duck season?

Wow autocorrect, I don't know why you suggested something else just now

Weird lol

My phone thinks I'm an escort lol

What's a guy gotta do to be an escort?

Ummmm

You already do it

I. Am.

FREEEEEEE

YAY!

null

Wrll yes i AM dance-cleaning!

And I'm missing it!

null

That's a YOU choice

Hey lol

null

How many fingers do you still have?

Brb

Jk

Didn't even nick meself

Wow 😲

I want to turn some handles for that poor little file. Only one half of it is useful. The rest corroded the good stuff away. Such a little survivor

What a cutie

Aww shucks :)

Thank you

Well tonight's plans may suddenly be waylaid

Waa?

Pain out of nowhere

Why for?

No idea

Fell like i might puke

Super sucks

Definitely super sucks

Describe? Or nrn

Stabby back pain

And now all my muscles are cramping and locked

Hand for cramp example

null

Finger locked that way

You better drink some water girl

Holy fuck this hurts

I'm not joking, drink some water

How much have you had in 25 hr

Water or beverage?

Either but you know [gatekeep:] water

Did you do it yet?

Water just as itself? None

Beverage? Not much

Water or gatorade zero can be step 1. We need step 0 first. How do we do that?

Sorry babe

Drink water

Now

8 oz min

Now

8 oz again

I think if i do that I'll throw up though

So how do i do that and not?

Ready?

Ok no do if barfy

Glass down

Good job

Thank you

I did nothing. I am still on the floor

You'd better drink some water girl

You know what's happening isn't it?

Not really

I do know I'm dehydrated

Literally always

Ok well

Drink

Water

It's actually better than pain

I have thoughts at this

I will find some water and then try to explain

Good

Ok

And you are in what condition

Icky feeling bur could be worse

I hear you

And mood?

Ok. Very sleepy

null

Current situation

Lol it's an orange!!!

Rest well little ones

All of y'all

null

I
Love
You

2024-11-13T23:21:15

null

2024-11-14T06:24:10

Good morning!

Good morning!

How are you?

Still waking up

Awww poor baby

I've been working for an hour

Oh my goodness!

Right!?

And on an abbreviated sleep schedule

Just you and the fur babies:)

Yes!

I found something else youll be super cute in

You can wear it with your hair twisty and blue lake zip up

Ooh yay!

2024-11-14T09:58:54

You wanna see a greatttttttttt email

Oh no what is it?

Check your af email in a min

OMG that email

I know

Also.... likely writing off anything and everything that was in PIN/CustInq (any legacy systems)

How ya doin?

I am doing alright :)

Just alright

??

Could be better? I'm just lethargic today

Omg guess the total

152 policies

Jesus

152 policies with chronically pat due balances

Guess the total

It's about or less than i expected, actually

3/4 mil

Oh. No.

$1,761,053

Owwww

Yep

And to think we just non renewed a software license in my dept because it would save 200k per year

Qu'est-ce vous faites ce soir/cette apres-midi?

They didnt want us to keep running the old system because it was costing about a mil a year

Ummmm this is more than that....

Ffs

Alors, ce soir?

Je ne said quois mentenant

Oh la la

Sa veut dire "je ne sais pas maintenant"

Vous etes tres mignon, alors c'est bon

Vous avez manger votre dejeuner?

2024-11-14T14:13:52

Ca va?

Yeah, boring meeting ended :)

Hurray! Did you forage?

A little bit. More is needed

On y va!

Lol!

Thinking about soup

I have soup

Actually made some for us for last week too

You did?

I did

We didnt eat it

Well poop!

I can make more

2024-11-14T16:08:59

Hey babe

Heya

Whatcha doin?

Fixing to feed the cats. They're revolting!!!

In which sense of the word? Lol

Right!

How is your day?

It was pretty fantastic! Got sooooo much work done

AF work, so tomorrow should be nice

Figure out your weekend yet?

(That includes tomorrow)

Yay! I'm glad you had a good day

I haven't figured out anything yet

Remains to be seen if the offspring will be back

Fingers crossed

I think they will, at least for a day

Do you hope they do or not so much?

I hope they do, it makes it easier for me to get out without her thinking shes missing something

That would be nice

And if you can escape? Your ideal day/night?

If I can it'll be Saturday afternoon most likely

Not quite what i asked.....

Oh! Right. I will ponder. I'm assuming you're preferences and desires are unchanged?

2024-11-14T19:58:11

What would YOU like to do?

I might lean to get high and fuck

You're not bored of me trying are you

Trying...?

...to be a vigorous lover?

NEVER bored of that

As long as you dont get bored of me not being able to satisfy your needs

It's not a you problem and tyvm glad to know ❤️

It HAS to be a me problem

I really do feel bad about it

You don't have to feel bad about it. It's old guy synapses and brain drugs. I can keep working it though I figured it out a couple times.

And probably hormones yoo

Too

Lol

I feel selfish about you going down on me so much

Idk how else to put that

Well you have feel selfish I guess

Life a Riley innit

I lovvvvvvvve it and sometimes want way more but i still feel guilty

My gift to you with gratitude

Graritude for what?

From me to you? Endlessly

My gratitude to you for giving me such a big part of you

And trusting me

You think i gave you a big part of me

Why?

Please explain?

So much you've told me. Who else knows?

You demanded I come in you lol

It means something to me

And your friendship

And caring for me

It makes sense?

It makes more sense to me... i never said you were wrong

Can you explain why me wanting you to get off in me means more?

To you

No one ever said that to me

Straight up

I crave it from you

And honestly, the harder you get off, the better it feels for me

Once again, I'm too selfish

Haha! I finally caught you out. Scoundrel.

Whaddya say we work out a private compensation agreement?

I'm curious now

What are you offering?

First negotiator never has a chance

Sorry about your luck

You tell what you want

No fAir!

null

A peg leg?

Youre killing me, babe

Lol

I'm just playing with this oak Nitya brought me.

Nice

Anyway

What
Do
You
Wantttttttt

Oh my goodness

I'm just playing with my wood
Do. You. Mind.

Id rather be high and playing with your wood instead but whatever

Fanks

How did you know i say that?

Haha frig if I know

Get a bit high already?

I did

Mmhmmm

Whycome?

Boredom escaper

So tell me all thw things

I have lathed me out, in front of

The one which I purchased right wiff me own cash

And a benefactor who shall remain nameless

And now

??

Presenting

I would much rather talk sex and drugs than glaswegian

Lol mmr

Err?

I mean they are kinda the same innit

Last time you came?

Good sir?

null

She's a beaut

🤣

I'm ded

∆∆∆∆ this right here is why I love you

Don't judge me plz

I wont

Havent yet

Do with that what you will buy plz don't dox me

But

Anyhoo

I hope you are satiated and comfortable

You've said nothing to answer my query

Oh

Rly

Iirc I asked you first

I asked you something else

Sbyl

What?

Sorry bout yer luuk

Omgggg please??

Straight to bargaining then

So what do you want?

If you can have anything

I want to be the reason you have the best sexual experience ever

It's not much

But

Fuckkk

Yes please

Ok this is helpful

What's helpful?

This is literally everything i want

You are a person right and not BeccaTron

Indubitably

I want you to be ao much of what i want that i end up in tears because it's perfextly what i want and need

That is actually very touching

It's very true

I know what i feel how i want. Or something with those words

I know how it will be because i already feel it but no one has been able to breakthrough and meet the need

I'm waiting for my ultimate catharsis and someone else needs to be there to give me that revelation and support me through it and guide me in the thereafter

OMG babe! I so want to be this person

I think you are

Soo

You have to answer my question

Remind me?

This one

There are no wrong answers btw

I:ll give you my best experience, that's one

You get anything you want. I honestly dont think i would give you a single limit

I offer you the encouragement to push both our boundaries

I'll give you any stories you'd like

Tangibly and aside from me offering you anything in and on and of me and my body, pics or video or sketches or whatever

You already have my love

You have several firsts of mine

What elsw would you like as an offer?

You are very sweet!

And I have access to your linguistic brain

Encyclopedic

I want you to understand this...

I adore all these things

You have access to every twist and turn and happy memwory and dark shadowed corner of my mind now

Please don't use it against me

I will never do such things

I cannot

So what else are you offering?

I guess you've read the bio

Not really

55 ciswm 185# likes girls

RENT ME!

CALL 1800



Heyyy

Heyyyy

So you interested

I am

I'm needy AF though

Kinda flat chested

Very complicated

Too chatty

Got some issues of self

Sure sure

I have seen all of these

Is there something else?

A little bit seriously fucked up in every way. Even some that aren't so much speakable

Everything in your stamping up box is an avatar for a bf

Huh?

Like are you a cunning mass murderer

Might be

Dammit

Dammit

I will save your dog

And the cats

Sent millions of children to an acid bath on more than one occasion

Y'all mf need Jesus

His name has been called at those times

You are an amazing woman

In some respects, i agree

In others, absolutely not

But thank you

You're quite a formidable gentleman

Why

Uh

Fanks

Youve never had rough and consensual, correct? Or have you?

The former

Have you had questionable conciousness from a partner?

No lol

I've never been a real sub

I was actually wondering if you've ever been way more lucid than your partner who was really out of it

No

That stuff is way outside my sphere

I dont know what to think at that

Idk why

I think i expect you to want something a little darker, taboo, fucked up, etc

Imagining such things is way different than doing them

That's something i don't understand

It's a disconnect

You are a liberal arts major yeah

Several times over

Yes yes

And yes and yes

Sorry I'm being a shithead

Ok and when the mind is different than the body it's confused time bc why now?

What??

This might make sense more:

I dont understand because anything anyone has wanted as a fantasy, theyve done with or to me, if that makes sense

I get that

So then also to me, you dont even imagine it

No

Clarify please?

I think you are asking "do I think about violence on you" and the answer is no

That's kind of it

To me it does not register as violence

That's weird now that i think of it

Right?

Quite possibly

What's your opinion

You've been tricked

Hmmm. Maybe

I'm serious

Can you explain why?

I mean i know why but i also don't

Your protector was also your abuser

Becomes

You abuser is also your protector

It's no bueno

Must be unlearned

I don't recall my father ever being a protector in my mind. At all.

But what you say makes sense

This will sound arrogant, but I'm too smart to unlearn

That's fine

Hence people suggesting i go through electroconvulsion therapy in this century

Ffs

No

You know that story though

Yes, and

And?

I feel like no one understands your story

I was referring specifically to the ect part

Do I need to spell out

That is fucking outrageous

I did tell you that, right?

Yes you did

Nobody knew what else to do with me

Many have failed you

Yes

Can you maybe do me a favor next time we have some devils lettuce or if I'm otherwise inebriated?

Name it!

Ask me lots of things

Maybe hard things too

Ok

Thanks

One of these days I'll get to the r word

On your time babe

I dont know how to make my mouth say it. That's all. The words just dont fall out like i want them to

I got you

Any way you need

I'm kinda scared for the day you click so many pieces together

But that's neither here nor there

Don't worry

Just be you

Just like you are

I wish i could be tired at the right time

Aww

You understand me right

Aiye?

There there

Guess what

What?

I am nearly 56

Yes

I know this

Yeah I know you do

Why point this out now?

Bc I can't stick my tongue in your ear rn

Try harder

:P

Come closer

Make me come

Touché

I love to make you come

Me too

But it's still weird

And i can do it harder but I'm scared

Oh?
You are safe

You don't know why I'm scared though

True

Will you tell me

Yes

One reason is because to get to that point i want or need more specific areas pressed or sucked or focused on and i dont know how to ask for it

Another is that i dont know what my body will do. I feel like it could literally explode and there would be grossness everywhere and i would be so embarrassed i would want to die

I cannot wait to service you in this most important way

You will be so adorable

Why?

Because I love you and want to care for you

Thank you 🙂

But really - what if i cover everything in wee or something

Lol it'll wash

And if all sorts of air that's been trapped by you or me or the universe tries to escape at once, youll revive mw if i start to die after being beyond mortified?

You can count on it

So you really are okay with whatever happens if i dont hold back?

I know something i want

Really slow, tender, you guiding me through all of it, taking care of me lovingly the whole time, eye contact, deep and passionate, ultimate classic cheesy lovemaking that i havent ever had but need in my soul and want more than anything

Where you gently tuck hair behind my ears and pull my chin up to you for kisses.... so much more

I love you

2024-11-15T07:10:29

Aww babe I love you too

Good morning!

Well, what do you think?

Rien?

Quelle tristesse

I love that so much

How is your morning sweet babe

It's ok

Yours?

Not bad

2024-11-15T10:14:50

Well my day just took a turn

Are you working all day?

I'll probably work most of the day yeah

What's up for you? What happened?

Construction outside mt house for odin knows what reason

Internet cut

Could use my phone as a hit spot but I'm not feeling it

Swapping some pto and hours around so I'm off the rest of today

Ffs my head hurts

Oh poor baby!

Meh. It is what it is

Food fun, maybe shop, take drugs, clean

Yay!

Wish you could join any of it

Everything from last week is benign :)

Yay!

What's lunch?

Idk but I'm thinking about it

I have soup....

2024-11-15T13:31:22

You want anything while I'm out?

A nice cute polish girl?

I am both Polish and polished

Well how about that!

Did no one send you to finishing school in Paris?

Quelle dommage

Sadly I am too low class for such things

Nyet!

I'm only a facade

What's behind you?

You know the answer

A cute polished Polish girl!

Non

More like all sorts of twists and turns and hidden surprises

Maybe we can discover something new!

Eat yet?

Not yet!

The cat and I took a little snooze lol

What size & sorts of shoe are you?

Is this another trick question

I usually wear men's 9.5

What styles would you nottttt wear?

In shoes? I don't even know how to answer that

I usually buy for utility, not style

So none of those curly toed elf shoes

We'll see

Lol

null

You need it!

Glass ppw

Ha! He's cute

Pack of kn95?

I'll use em!

Yay!

null

Oh I bet that's about right!

So you have your measuring tape?

Always

null

Whatcha doin?

Krogering!

Whassup

Come get unnecessary stuff!

Lol

Fine

No cabinet or cool speakers for you then

:AP

:P

😛

2024-11-15T19:08:00

Did you have a good day finding stuff?

Still doing it l9l

Hehehe

Et now? On y va!

Ca va?

I love you so much

I love you too

Everything okay?

Oh yeah all good

On y va
Now has special significance for me ❤️

Oh yeah?

My diary for Wednesday


On Y Va!

Wednesday, November 13, 2024
9:43 PM

When you asked me today if I know "On y va!", I was flooded with love and warm and omg you darling!

And I also love the way you communicate how you move through spaces.

On y va!

You say it so perfectly. It is so suited to your voice. It's a melody to my ears!

Oh my gosh!

Je suis chez moi encore

Guess what i lost several hoyrs ago?

Pic for clue

null

Looks like you lost hairs
In Ireland?

No.... that's me right now

Did you lose eyebrows?

Je voudrais être là

I had to ask ChatGPT to help with that but I like the way it sounds in French

I'll speak french all day if you want

💖

What are you doing now?

I is drilling holes right here

Why?

null

I see

Yep

And with newly cleaned and sharpened tool, it's almost enjoyable lol

😊

null

Mmhmmm

How was krogering?

Pretty average all in all

What did you get?

Pickles

Green olives, but they were out of the big jar and I needed two of those!

K+ disappoints me regularly

I got veggie dogs

And frozen veggies of various nature

And three chips for her, and crackers for me

Boyses?

null

Hey babez

Hey you!!

No boyses

Ain't you pretty to my eyes!!

Got me a sleepsapuppy

Aww!

How do i get you and a bunch of drugs into me right now?

I wish I knew

:(

Ikr!

What soup did you make?

Did you have

When?

Oh you know

At soup time

Oh right

Mac y cheese

Oo yay!

I should make that

Mayhaps

Things are copacetic?

For sweet baby girls

??

Not really

Not really

But it's ok

Tell me why?

Pain, not getring enough done, more pain, kind of unknowns, cant sleep, kinda want food but nothing sounds good and i didnt eat much today

Hangry!

Me too

What should i do?

Favorite go-to snack
Go get it!

Lol it's frozen

But i plan on trying my new salad

Good!

Et vous?

Excellent choice

Cracker du snack

Avec peanuts

Et sel

Pas assez

Still awake?

Yes!

Yay! 🎉

Hi!

Hi

What are you doing?

Chomping a pickle salad

With feta

And those damn olives are reduced sodium ffs

But I will survive

And a fake hot dog

And jalapenos

Listening to Depeche Mode

How can I slurp you?

Come get me high & see what happens

Fuck

That's the best idea I've heard in some time

You are super fun to get high

Really?

Oh yeah!

Why?

How do you like it

Then i have a similar statement and a follow up

How do i like being high?

That's right

Or feel free to ask your questions!

I loved it

I dont remember too much but it kind of made my brain quiet for a while

It was fast too

Yay!

Smoking is fast

Eating it is slower

When did you realize having sex with me was go8jg to be fun?

In general, high, either, both

About 2 months ago

The Anniversary Suite

Actually before that

Ya foul mouthed so and so

But i could have just been all talk

Can you tell me what makes me fun ?

Sure could have been all talk

But oddly specific

(insert tongue in cheek)

😊

Lol

Do you remember anything specific i said?

Something something looks better on the floor

Referring to clothing

That's like the tamest thing ive ever said to you!

Fair

But it was also the first time I was pretty sure

If we did have sex, that it would be fun fun fun

I like that, thanks

When we were in the flesh (pun intended), what makes me fun?

All the squish
The curves
Your so sensitive neck! Omg

Your adorable ass

I love to nibble you

Everywhere

Please more!

So tasty

My neck neeeeeeeds morw

Your neck
Is
So

Rawr!

Your belly is so wonderful and pale and squishy and soft

Thank you

Im almost speechless at this

But

These arent actions

I want to be more fun, to do more fun things for you

Then stay with me?

I feel like I have a lot of relearning to do, in terms of intimacy

And some learning too!

And you are making this all possible

We're very much the same

But i dont know what relearning you have to do?

You know way more than i do

I know I'm not perfect
I can only promise you I will follow my heart

I have never felt more free to be who I am than I do with you

And it's inspiring, and like lifting a cloud or a veii

And it's not all at once but it's happening in bits and ways here and there and now and again

And somehow you are sucking me straight into you

I really, really want to get there with you

I distrust myself for trusting you so much, if that makes sense

Yes it does

Aww my love

So

So

What questions?

I asked a few

You have one to answer from last night still

Sorry what is it?

Now I'm adding to it (interest, you know)

Oh interesting lol

When did you get off?

What do you think about when you do?

Do you do the same thing to yourself every time?

I assume you mean last time for me?

Friday morning around 9 maybe?

Like not even 18 hours ago?

I usually think about fucking, and often you

But sometimes whatever girly is in porn ATM

Can you show me some?

Yes! We keep not doing that kol

Lol

You could show me now?

If you want to sully your device lol

Just my phone lol

Ok one sec

https://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=6726c089d53d0

You're sure that's the one? I havent clicked anything yet

You're sure you want me doing this alone?

I mean it's just one I might watch

There's no one here to kiss my neck though

Yeah, that sucks

And the way you react is so. Fucking. Hot.

I want more of you all over me

So delightful!

There are places on my neck you haven't quite tapped yet that you really should

Oh yay!

I can't wait to explore this

I can't wait either

With my
conveniently
Wet
Mouth

Oh gods yes

Will I have anything left

You ask

Why yes, that's one question i was wondering

But of course!

😊

I still have to suck ears

And nipples

And bellies

And things

For girls

Do you think you/wr can go ultra sensual slow? I described it as tender

Usually I'm just so excited and happy that you're with me

Yes!

Absolutely

Weed..

Just saying

And thee

Fuck me

It's literally all ive wanted for so so sooooo long

I want you to have everything you want

Ditto

I still feel like you have to want something you havent said yet

I actually think there are many

I'm figuring them out

Oh please please please tell me

I want to know and be the best part of all of them

You are

Guess what

What's hot?

When you say
TAKE ME

Oh good

Incredibly hot when you say things low into my ear when we're entangled

ohh yum!

I love to wrap around you and pretend nothing can get us

And you are all mine

I love wrapping my legs around you so i can get rid of all the space between us and i get more of you into me

Yessss

And i really do want you to go as hard and deep as possible when you explode into me

Yes
And
Yea

I really do want to paint your cervix

Among other things

I need that

What else do you want to do or do again that's just for me? How about just for you after that?

Oh I want to make you come again with my hands, and special guest tongue

And then I would love to fuck you

And come deep in you

Yessssssss

You are so tight

It is fucking amazing

It is amazing fucking

Im so glad

You're literally the perfect size and shape

You taste and smell perfect too

Yay!!!

Woo!

Spun some thoughts.on those visuals

Oh?

Haha yeah

Share please

All the ways we should fuck

What if I sit on the edge of the bed

With a decent hard on

Wyd

Id go down on you

Nice

When you feel like it, id want you to grab my hair at the roots, toss me down on the bed, and fuck me hardddd til you fill me

Yes yes yes

What if I wanted you to back up onto my lap

Yes

Navigate me

Yess

You can bounce on me

I'll try

Regardless

I love fucking you
And holding you
And tasting you

And nibbling you
And licking you

Im curious avout something else

What is that?

Is it too bizarre for you to dart your tongue in and out, down into me?

Not at all and I am dying to do this

You like your tight pussy licked

 ​❤️​ to “ You can bounce on me ” 

I do

Too much

Maybe you just do it too well

Too much lol

Yes

Not even

There's no way for you to know that

Not sure we're responding to the same prompt

I think probably outwardly, i show it the least of your partners

Why would you say that

Because i lay there like a dead log when i should be breaking your chin and worrying the neighbors with screaming

Concentrating

You think I'm concentrating?

During.... yes

I wish i was in my head a lot less

Be anywhere you like😋

2024-11-16T08:42:00

🌄

Good morning!

Hiee bebe

How are you?

Did you sleep?

Yes!

2024-11-16T10:55:36

How was it?

2024-11-16T14:46:44

OMG I'm sorry

I fell asleep again

No prob

I dont feel great today :/

Aww

Are you staying in today

2024-11-16T17:47:24

Just re woke up

What's neq with you?

Just got out of the shower, having finally washed my hair. What an ordeal lol!

How are you feeling?

A little better

You?

How was today? What did you do?

Did some research on lathe tools. Might mop later lol

Boys show up?

How are you overall besides disappoihted?

Disappointed, that I could not see you today :(

No boyos

I'm ok overall. Just stirred up something that is giving me sneezing fits lol

What does tomorrow look like for you?

Most likely stuck in :(

I am so so sorry about today

I ruin everything :(

No you didn't ruin anything

Why do you say that?

Fuck i hurt

Really wish you could be here ti help thar

I slept all day and couldn't have come over anyway

I wanna be there!

Waah!

Really? That makes me feel a lot better

I did the same almost

Felt like i let you down sincei didnt send an invite

You are sweet 😚

You're good

Thank you

Still sneezy?

It settled down thankfully! After rawing out my nose a bit

What was the culprit?

Mls laundry I sorted on the basement floor. It's pretty gross in the laundry area

Did you know

I am the only person in the house that recognizes a used dryer sheet on the floor?

No one else sees them apparently

Lol my little gripes

Cute

Yeah well I need to sweep and mop over there too

Do you need any?

Sweeping

Yes

And weeding

I do tongue sweeping too

And tongue mopping

I need both

I have rarely wanted drugs this badly

Ah

As a Druggist I am not well connected unfortunately

Lies

Why the "ah"?

?

Everybody likes Ah

I am so tired and weak and owwwed

My poor baby!

I need someone to feed me

And massage me

What an excellent idea

Pweez?

Yessss

Acqui?

Y a hora

I know ❤️

Mopping task complete

😊

Except for the one I owe you!

If I told you the wife and I were going to be somewhere in public at a certain time, wwyd?

And why does autocorrect want 'wyd'? This is a vernacular this I know what the words are, but this question construction is odd to me

I would accomodate your wants for whatever your desire is in that situation

The wyd ia for what you doin

Tyx2

What would you want me to do

Do you need a solid metal leaf? Kinda like a small tray

null

Yay!

Aldi take yeah?

Yes!

All veg

I love mushrooms in so many ways

But

Yes!

We've foraged a lot too in the wild

Pizza alla funghi con formaggio

There are fall edibles that have made me violently ill more than once--but not the first time I ate them

Sometimes this time of year the boys score a big one and make all kinds of stuff lol

Mushroom things?

But fresh oysters in the spring are sublime

Yes all mushrooms

"hen of the woods" for googling

No bueno for me now, but was once

We've found abundant oyster mushrooms around Vanderbilt

This is a setup for my favorite joke

Oh?

We have them in the morning sometime

Sometimes

It's the breakfast of champignons

LAUGH PLEASE

Honhonhonnnnnn!!!!!

I love you for that

You have no idea how long I've been waiting for that reaction

I'm ded

Non merci

Necrophilia is illegal. and gross.

Have you ever cleaned baseball caps

Baseball caps

Perhaps in a laundry context

Oh fml

?

Ofc, my Google profile image is me in a baseball hat

Fun 🎉

Probably about the last time that ever happened tbh

Hahahahaha

😆

I picked up a bunch of cool ones and want to revive them

I know how to sanitize but they should be washed, yknow?

I dont know how to not ruin the bills - arent they cardboard?

I expect so yes

Or idk?

I still have my Vonage hat somewhere

Ok holagoogle....

Lol!

Easy & effective plz

Efficiwnt too

On it

Yay! 🎉

Ok what I'm getting here is be gentle

Use mild cleaners

Spot clean as needed

Caution that dishwasher or launderer may damage

Soap and water

Ok thanks! So spot clean

Go slow baby

Back

Forth

Etc

Just remember that for yourself

no worries I am programmed in this way

Why?

It's an XY thing?

Slow and gentle is def nottttttt an XY thing

Ok well it is for me so :P

But why?

How can I know? It just is in my nature

You wouldnt rather just hurry up and come?

Nope

I like to enjoy my time with you

Touching you

Holding you

Tasting you

Kissing you

Me too

Mmmmm

I have a lot more gerunds

Sorry that's familial

But maybe you do it slow because it just takes me so long to settle down?

Lol

My fave thing?

I'm going to gerund it -

- i made gerund a gerund

Lolol!!!

This right here

Is why l like to tickle every bit of you

Lol okay

Sex me up

I cant

How you like that gerund

//// me

You are too pure

It's not possible

Your gerunds are the be-uns of the bestest

How

How do you grrrrundddd

I brain it

I bet you use pronouns

Hussy

Clearly I need to lick your ear more often

It's in Project 420-69

Ive only briefly twiddled with that one time

So you have twiddled then

Just with you

Lol

I really do wish I were with you now

Me too

For a ton of reasons

Just laying with you and talking with the occasional long kiss sounds perfect

Yessss

null

Fucking cute!!!

Rescued 'im yesterday

He just got out of the bath

Wonderful!

He has friends & fam here

That is good :)

Maybe you can be their daddy

I'm not good at taking care of tree ornaments

At all

But I could do better

None of them are tree ornamemta

Oh!

Just stained glass thingies?

No

Just lelephants in this case

Ok :)

Did I show you the hummingbird?

No

null

This survived transfer from me mum

Oh yea!

To my basement

And I found it in good, if slightly damaged condition

Idk if the damage was old or new

Where is the damage?

Actually four sites I've counted. Most visible in lower right

Well i just fell asleep on the floor real quick

Okay!

Are you ok?

I am!

Just tired

In your bedroom?

No

Need help?

Maybe

Ok tell me about this one?

What is it?

Do you need help

Nah

Just need to do it

Ok you

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1HbaW6tvyRG3AUHZMEAbgcM6M9_GfOsot/view?usp=drivesdk

Might make an avatar of this

2024-11-17T02:52:57

You're so damn attractive

Hehheh

Thank you

And you are so damn attractive
And so. Damn. Sexy

Thank you

Immensely

I really do mean it when i rave to you about how you feel to me

Thank you!

No, thank you

Sweet baby

null

Mood for you

Yesssssssss

That's how i wabt to feel with you right fucking now

Pretty chill ,,❤️❤️

Yes

I want to steal that from you and share it

It's like i can feel the vibes from that and i know i need them

Bots would link me lol

Have any devil's lettuce? Jow many guineas over how long?

Im only curious

It's also after 0300 and you're awake....

Right??

Yes, packing it pretty regularly tonight

Another stroll down music alley night

How do you stay functional?

I don't actually know at this point

But it definitely has something to do with sleeping till half 2

May i point something out about me?

Always

In the form of a question - do you notice when im sleeping? (More than yes/no as a response, please)

Sometimes, not always.

I've heard you fade out once or twice

I love it

And often I find out I am sleeping too lol

Weird but thank you

Drool and all

I meant when we are not together

I meant together

Oh

Lolol

Do I. Notice in text session if you are sleeping

Kind of, yeah

Or in any way

Not a yes or no, more like when do i sleep

Obv I notice better when up close

You sleep after you come

Or even just good times I guess

It's great

So sweet

That's true - and i can't control the sleep

The real answer is that i never sleep and it's exhausting and frustrating

Well

What to do

Do you like sleeping?

It's tricky

Sometimes yes because it's a break and a refresh

Sometimes no because there are nigjtmares and flashbacks and trying to change endings that i cannot

Yuck

I like the idea of sleep for normal people

null

Not a clue

Seriously

I also konk out with you so immediately because i feel incredibly safe and like you could help me battle whoever or whatever ahows up in my head

Ofc!

And I will do it

So how do i sleep?

null

Do you know something about your sleep issue?

Maybe

null

O hai!!!

I also have zero pants on

Ooohhhhjh hhhhhaaaaiiii

!!!!!

My favorite color!!!!

For reals though - zero pants

null

Yummy!

 ​❤️​ to a photo 

I was so hot earlier I almost disrobed lol

❤️ your chubby pussy

She's always been puffy

Anyway, what else were you saying about me sleeping? Or when i get off? Or something?

I need this information stat

So delicious

Stat

Lol

You get sleepy after you come

Amazeballs

We discussed that already lol

And cute af

I think it's almost immediate and instant

That's All there is to tell

What did you want to know?

If you dont feel my pussy clamp down, what other signs do i present? In the moment or leading up to it

You provide a lot of outward feedback long before those things

Body movements

Vocalizations

Instructions

All good and yummy

And sometimes I feel you get super wet

That's when I know you are in lala land

I've never talked during before

Lol

Plus that one time you told me

"that was a fucking orgasm!"

I think that was the first time I actually came in you, and then you came too!

Yes

It was awesome ❤️❤️❤️

Omg please give me the crying one

Let's do it!!!

I love to make you come

I can't wait

You can do it all over me

I want to

Still a bit scared to

I can't wait to!

Too!

I mean I'm gonna have one thing or another inside you

:P

You can do more than one

Glad to be of service

Indeed

I hope you feel safe with any inhibitions.

Whst do you .ean?

Like if you just need to say or do anything during sex or other times, it's ok no judgements here

null

Good sleep pretty baby!

You too

I will try and learn that

Thank you, love you

null

2024-11-17T11:09:12

null

null

😀

What are you doing?

Waking up

Lol

Wyd?

Lol

Triste

Word games and coffee!

2024-11-17T14:39:09

Headed anywhere?

Nope

Darn

Ikr

:(

What you up to

Cleaning lots

You?

Similar. Cleaning up some tools

Oh, fun!

Trying to keep an orderly shop here lol

What's that?

Lol

Turns out it's a relative feature

Interesting

And now?

And now
Uh

Just finished a bowl of soup

Wondering if 1800 is too early to go to bed lol

Nah

It's midnight in Paris

Perfect reason!

If i have a vintage tin that has a bit of rust, is there a way to get rid of it and not lose the paint/pics on it? It's decor only

If it's very light we could use steel wool or fine sandpapy

If scraping it doesn't appeal I could try electrolysis assuming it can tolerate being submerged for 24 hr

I dont know if it can or not bit appreciate the info thanks

2024-11-17T20:05:28

null

I had no idea you were still awake!

2024-11-17T23:41:38

null

2024-11-18T04:35:55

null

2024-11-18T06:49:56

null

Hi kittos!

Actually, they prefer kiddens, kibbens, kibbadens, kibibadens...

How are you?

Doing well!

Gotta get a shower and start working :(

Well I'm already doing that....

Not the shower part though

I know lol

Imma just be gross today

Heheh

True story

Permission to send possibly not great pic?

Ok!

null

Ouch

Feel like that cant be good

It kind of hurts a little but i also dont usually much below my knees, so it must reallllllly hurt for a normie. Kind of a bump there too

No idea why it would be like that. It's at a weird place

Did you drop something on there?

No, and its on the inside just above my arch

Spend a lot of time on your toes yesterday?

Or on your knees?

Feet yea

Never toes

Dont even have a left hallux

Ijdk if it's broken

2024-11-18T10:34:15

Haie

Hiee

How are you?

How's the new day-week?

Pretty good

So far!

That's good!

2024-11-18T12:04:24

How's the foot? Is the bruise changing at all?

2024-11-18T13:18:52

I guess it's fine? No changes to the bruise

I might have to examine it personally

My feet suck. So does today. You can just have them

Aww

And now my glucose is low

Hey now

It is!

Do you eat caesar dressing?

Nope
Anchovies

Little tiny fishies

Worcestershire sauce as well

That's why i asked

When I first started I think Oreos still had beef tallow and lucky charms had gelatin. You just never know what crazy ideas pass for food sometimes

Oreo are vegan

Now at least

Yep they are now

Do you have to not take a lot of meds?

Not a lot

I would guess gelcaps are tricky

Yeah I just have to deal with that

Supposedly there are plant based gels but who knows what comes from the pharmacy

I take one a day -- effexor

So I'm not pristine :(

I swear you said you took 3

Do you ever feel your heart race when you use cannabis?

My other prescriptions are tablets :)

 ​❤️​ to “ I take one a day -- effexor  ” 

Regarding racing, not really.

Ok I didn't know I could love my own message, but that happened when my laptop power cord touched the screen lol

Surrrrrrrre it did

I asked about heart racing because it is apparently a side effect of ventra and cannabis

*venla

Sorry was just talking about an insured ventra

Which i thought was funny because they deal with foodservice and ventre is stomach in french

My wit is so lost on people

Look up 'true meaning of wit in history' sometime

Lol!

Vous faites quoi ce soir?

Je fais disassemble treadmill

Oh! Ca va etre brouillant

C'est un piece de junk

Connaisez ce mot?

Oh la la - bruyant

Mais peut etre les deux

Oui, c'est lea deux

Les

?both?

Les deux

Merci

Travaillez vous tout ce semaine? La prochaine?

Ce semain oui
La prochaine... Peut-etre lundi et Mardi seulement

Savez vous ma schedule?

Et c'est son anniversaire bientot, monsieur...

Tu ne travailes pas, np?

La prochaine, oui. Et pas ce mercredi

Son anniversaire? Ou mon?

Votre

Oui. 56ieme

Je m'excuse... nous dommes tres formale, non?

Oui. Cinquante-siesieme ans jeune

Merci!

De rien... Formale

Vous pouvez me dire 'tu toyer moi"..... mais non :(

Encore et deja

Encore... Toyer?

Do you know any of the last bits? Lop

*lol

"you can tell me 'you ?? Me' but no

null

Alors, puis je vous tutoyer?

On se tutoie?

Ohh

Oui, j'espere!

Youuuuuuuuuu have to be the one to say it!

What do i want to eat this week?

So do I simply say

Tutoyer moi

And I don't understand why the verb in infinitive form

Idk either about the infinitive, my brain just does it

And now that it's established i am just fine :)

But my conjugation!!!

Oh, I think it's tutoie moi -- imperative 2nd person singular

null

Also similar with new year resolutions, if you need an analogy

That makes sense but aren't they talking about "talking" to one's self?

It's essentially you telling me "lose the formality" or "be friendly" but that would be weirder "soie amicalement avec moi" and friendly doesn't mean informal and it's way more convenient to tutoyer

Idiomatics, amirite?

Fair!

Sometimes it just comes down to "it do be that way"

Actually, in linguistic format "it be like that" is most correct as a term because it is most encompassing and inclusive of tense and tone and pronoun and case....

A linguist would typically write anything as "noun (be) verb / adj"

Like how it's rarely

"You know how you sometimes get a bruise and...."

We dont always say "the familiar sense with which one acquires a bruise...."

You vs one in English is mad

It's always about you , apparently;)

I know

Lol

Tes presents cette annee?

Alors....

Ouai?

I had some ideas the other day but I forgot them

:(

What to do

Breathe air into me?

Nt lungs arent loving today

*my

Yes let's prioritize breathing plz!

What's got you going?

It's not a psych thing it's a physio thing

So you're not coming to breathe me? Sad.

I've been breathing for 20 minutes straight can you not feel it

Daen long distance relationships

Not close enough

It's so hard

Permanent statement

Lol

Well doc did send a refill for me to Kroger so there's that

Ohhhh babe!

You gonna be ok?

Say what now?

Are you going to be okay?

I think so?
Should I be worried?

What's happening to me lol

You're the one sans refill

Oh I'm talking about the vitamin D+.

Boner pills

Viagra

I'm set for everything else

I don't automatically assume much of anything

That's a good thing really

And I've noticed

You've noticed taht i don't assume?

Yes, several times

Interesting

Can you tell me an example?

No, I can't. I don't keep track. But I can try to point it out next time if you want to know.

That would be great, thanks

And you really think it's a good thing?

Absolutely!

It helps avoid, you know, assUme meUass UmeASS and all other sorts of potential embarrassment

Me ass you?

That's what I heard

Lol

I do know that

But most people around here think I'm being condescending

It's not - I've travelled a lotttttttt and kmow that everyone's experiences and perceptions and knowledge and biases and language and home life and upbringing and cultural norms and mental capacities and reasons for anything are different, so i treat just about everyone at the same baseline

Well consider me a fan!

I feel like once upon a time I was a sticker for precision, but I've been pulled to the dark side and don't try much anymore

But I appreciate it when others do. It keeps me on my toes

Why are we talking anout precision?

Exactly

Precision in language

And btw, that was an example

That's a line from a kids book

Oh

"Precision of language!"

Dang it!! Lol

It's in The Giver

He doth giveth?

https://www.quora.com/In-The-Giver-whats-the-deal-with-the-emphasis-on-precision-of-language

Interesting take

That's what the author has said

PEOPLE ARE ALWAYS USING HYPERBOLE!!!

It's an intense book for a kid

I joke, but it makes sense

I couldn't help nothing the commenter "works at the Hatch agency"

🙄

Oh

The Tripod Trilogy

That's an old fave
There are interesting language and history lessons throughout

JRR Tolkien was primarily a linguist

Yes

Ok sis I'm fading out here

null

Love you!

Sweet dreams!

Love you too

2024-11-19T06:18:45

Good morning!

2024-11-19T07:37:12

Hey

Hi lover how are you

null

Thought that was cute

I am meh

That is cute, and so are you:)

Thanks 🙂

Anything in particular going on or just a blah day

A few things. Some i dont feel like talking about

I feel ouch today. Like tender, almost

How are you?

I feel pretty good, sorry to hear you're down

Thanks

I'm really sorry. I know i complain too much

null

Awww

Thanks!

2024-11-19T09:53:59

He says it's too cold for air con anymore

null

null

null

null

Lol!

You are wfh today yeah?

And whaaaat is up with that cake?

I am wfh today. Mandated in office thursday. Entire service center

Thiught the cake was pretty

Yeah it's pretty wild, looks unreal!

What do you suppose does bringing in the whole fam damily accomplish?

Look like I will be out next Wednesday

Quelle surprise?

We have a mandatory "town hall"

It usually accomplishes me being super sick a week or 2 later even though i am masked the whole time

We get corralled to the LL. I think the idea is that we're forced to pay attention/look at our SCVP

Next Wednesday, hmm? Questionable if i will be alone that day but i like adventures too

Tonight? Tomorrow?

Arkansas?

Still no words about going south

I'm off most of December as well lol

Im off in december starting COB the 20th, maybe before that

Wanna help me pick days to use my volunteer/school time and my floating holiday?

I need 2

Yeah? What do you have planned for those?

Nothing but fuck if i let AF keep 16 hours I'm allowed to be paid for and not work lol

Right!

Im saying i can likely spend it with you if you want but my days remaining are limited

Fwiw I am planning to be out 12/2, week of 12/9, and week of 12/23, and also 12/30

Maybe you tell me what days you do work?

12/3-12/6
12/16-12/20

Yes I'm working my birthday

Did you want yo make plans for any of those?

Why work on Sadie's birthday?

Oh no did I?

You already knew this

It couldn't be helped I'm sorry

But whyyyyyyyyyy

Something something important meeting

Not

:(

You can flog me later

Didnt think you were into masochism

I'm not into machismo

I'm into Sadieism

She isn't even 6!

...but close right?

You tell me

I mean 5 is almost 6

So is 1 in terms of miles relative to the next planet

Yes

See?

You're smart. I bet you can even do open enrollment without the job aide

Unlike me

I bet mine is already done since BU made it another passive year

But i bet i can do Medicare open enroll without any job aides

Well there you go!

And ecriver du francais sans le google

Now that feels like a neenerneener

Pas de tout

Pass the trout sure

I'm headed out to lunch with Patrick

Lmk if you want me to get anything for you

Awwwww

What are you doing this afternevening?

Tomorrow all day?

Nothing I'm sure

Working tomorrow

Unfortunately

Booo

All day?

Do you like lego building?

Lmk if you feel like going anywhere after work tonight. I'm prob headed somewhere

It's been a long time since I legod but I loved it as a kid

2024-11-19T14:28:03

How is your day ?

My lovable linguist

My epitome of etymology

My Paragon of pronunciation

My wizardess of words

Goddess of glottals

Mistress of morphology/morphemes/morphophonetics

Nice!

Mademoiselle des mots

 ​❤️​ to “ Mademoiselle des mots ” 

My beautiful fairy of bilabial fricatives

Witchtress of wordsmithing

How was lunch? Home for the rest of the night?

It was good. Yes I'm probably anchored now

What's going on in the land of accipters?

Fucking reports that are all SNAFU

Ahh yes

The SNAFU reports

Curious which one(s) they are. I may know people familiar with them.

2024-11-19T16:57:11

Wait you're fucking reports now?

The heck

Heyyyy

You excited to vamoose for a solid day?

Kinda?

Kinda had a mini emergency so didnt get anything done for the last 2ish hours

But i will

Oh
Everything ok?

Low glucose got me again. Bad today.

Oh ick

I trust you are over the worst now?

Do you need anything?

Very much past the worst thanks

Actually, i could use your help with some ideas if you feel like it

How can I help?

Looking for new ideas of food to try and make. Some non lettuce salads is one, idk what else

Need to make a grocery list that has more than just trash bags and cleaner

I've been eating like shit lately but I am happy to suggest some non-crap ideas

Yeah, kind of same

Eating to stay alove basically

Do you like micro greens like baby lettuce/beet greens etc? What about spinach? Or do you prefer to avoid leaves altogether

Microgreens are something im not supposed to eat, and i dont do great with leaves so not avoiding but not promoting them

Got it

There are also cabbage-based salads (an "Asian" is popular with RLH)

Does knowing more help? Re greensases

Pre bagged salad thingy

Yeah sure the more info the better

Micro usually cant be cleaned enough to be safe for immune comps like me

Leaves just chill in my stomach until they're regurgitated a few days later

The leaves thing is the same as ny grandma and aunt had, plus i have gastroparesis

Good to know. What about cabbage or broccoli slaw? NB I'm not a huge fan of either one, just fishing for ideas

Sometimes, but i need more than salads too

Ok well maybe we have one thing for your list!

Yes

https://www.kroger.com/p/dole-sesame-asian-chopped-salad-kit/0007143000035

Oh crap the lettuce

And i dont like ginger lol

Oh noes you won't like my tea

It is ok

Let's try some things else

Yeah, no heavy ginger for me thanks, sorry!

Think away from salads

Yes

So I don't know how to steer you to protein unless you want to try fakey things, but I feel like they are not good choices for you

I don't need protein ideas. Just food

Why do you think they're poor choices for me?

But if I said get some fresh or canned mushrooms, couscous, and green beans or asparagus, steam the veg but cook the mushrooms into the couscous. Dash of lemon juice on the veg to serve

How is that

You have any uncanny timing did you know that?

Perhaps

That is also a warm salad

Dude that's what I got if I can't pick protein or potatoes

Unless

We can go grains like barley? Oatmeal?

I don't remember do you care for beans/pulses?

Or split peas

Pulses?

And couscous is a grain

Or we can just eat ice cream lol

Kind of

Kind of

It's wheat

Which is....

I'm talking whole grains now

Which pasta is not

Usually

So is cinna toast crunch then lol

Thank god

Cinna toast dayum girl

Yum tho I suppose

Prob too sugary for me!

That should tell you something

Your cereal has more carbs

We've been through this lol

Yes yes

Barely barley

Do you?

Eat barely?

Or barely eating knowwhatimsayinnudgewink

I'm exhausted now lol

Why?

Typing that

Battling autocorrect

Cats prowling all around

I dismantled my treadmill

Hahahaha mf is in bits now

Yeah
Food
You

Barley?

Ah, but you never said barley lol

Not routinely but it's fine

Ahem

Mmhmmm

It's fine but takes forever

I know you like stuffed mushrooms. Right?

What am I going to feed you?

Applsauce, peanut butter crackers & celery, stuffed mushrooms, and popsicles.

Not a terrible diet I suppose. Needs some dairy I'd get yogurt. Hipster kind no fuckery.

And berries

I could live on that for a hot minute

Or jelly I guess

Preserves for me please! I love strawberry preserves

Yeah, no jelly please

Jam or preserves or marmalade

Also nope on pb crackers unless there's a side dip

And nope on Popsicles

What's a side dip in this instance (the one you referenced ^^)

Probably nutella or jam

Oh good one nutella

So can I ask about bread

What is your preference

What do you avoid

Sesame seeds on top is what i avoid

Smes bad ok

Prefer light or dark, squishy or firm?

Yep

No smegma

What kind of breads?

Omg ew vomit

Damn autocorrect

Bread , you , eat ? Care about?

Or no

Are we talking just sliced bread or also buns and rolls and things too?

Yeah babe. Yes, baked, yeasted wheat products such as bread slices or otherwise, rolls, buns, boobs,

Brb

Yeah buns and boobs, and things like that

Nothing hard to bite into like pretzel buns

Brioche is fine though

And i like crusty baguettes better than chewy ones

Those

Kinda

Seems contradictory

I know

null

Fml what didn't happen is cleaning that mirror

Ooh cute!

null

null

null

You remind me of Claudius in those pics

And your mind is in the gutter

Right

Yeah, cats are following me

Claudius had pigtails?

I hate self-portraits

I hate my self portraits

Im guessing you dont know claudio?

I mean c and I go way back dude

Actually no

Oh he is way back I get it

From one of a fave bands of mine from once upon a time

Nope - claudio

Wut

Je suis stupido

Used to be a favorite band of mine. Kind of still is

Coheed & Cambria

Claudio Sanchez

Oic

Haha

Fucking aye nice hair dude

Dude that is your hair

null

And that 10 stada stare

At your service

Do you believe in reincarnation

I have go play at scullery maid for about 20

Ttys!

Heyy

Scully here

You are so behind on q&a!

I do believe in reincarnation, somewhat, if we're being serious

What question can i answer?

That helps

Have you thoughts on your past life? On mine? On ours?

Life or lives

I haven't thought of that much, other than knowing we were somehow destined to reconnect in this life and will again but better in a future one

What are your thoughts?

I appreciate it

I don't grok it personally, despite hanging around Hare Krsna for decades

And my wife

I like the idea, sort of, but I don't really feel it

I think it's both simpler and more complicated than i can explain

Straightup reincarnation? Nah

Overlapping connected strings and spirit-y things? Yes

Interventions from beyond the realm? Yes

Heaven or hell? Not hell. Maybe pleasant afterlife. Nothing actually biblical

I dont think this is "it"

I don't see straight history or religion as truth and all of those ideas are kinda the same

Universal forces that dont have an explanation

Keep going please!

Please?

Sorry, very distracted

That's a general overview

I like it ty

What are you up to?

Musicing

I don't think I was any help today

I think you were. And you tried.

It was just a shitty day for me

I'm sorry babe
What can we do

I need to get off my ass and do things but I think too much

If you please,

I can offer a old dude 80s rec

It's fantasy land

Relax

?

But it's fun, if weird

Music, sorry

What about music though?

Oh it was a fleeting thought that fleeteth

Away

And so it went

Oh, no

Do you do anything holiday-related? Put up a tree, decorate, craft, gift, etc?

I stay out of the way and participate in gift exchange

Sometimes cook

In your ideal world, what's best about Christmas? I'm trying to craft something

A favorite story or carol or noun of Christmas?

Already found one very awesome something

How do you feel about woolen socks on your feet?

I love wool

Fave holiday recipe? Baked thing recipe?

My feet do too

Ok brace for impact

Ready?

Me mum made amazing cookies

Still does, but far away

Also makes legit scones. Old family recipe. 10/10

Apart from that I dislike this time of year

Ba
By
Shark

Too bad. I'm here now and i like making and gifting things

One a those eh

You cannot be ome iota surprised

I just don't like the excess of nonsense

And spending

Mmhmm

I actually like snuggles when actually snuggly

If you get me

Yes

But I'm mean AF today so none available

Sux

Pick your top hobbies and fandoms and things you like please

Things that could possibly LEGO

I already have one in mind, btw

No search engine cheating

Yes. Sux. I hate feeling this way

What is your favorite storybook or tale, such that one could find it in a picture book or page length document?

Could be a scene too

Oddly specific innit

Yes well

I like wood, and woodlands actually. I'm an unapologetic tree hugger.

I like to collect records, especially those that would have been mainstream in my childhood

I
Like
When they talk real loud
Try to tell you what they know

https://open.spotify.com/track/5UFyR8cVjiyIFjOd7PhkBm?si=Z35Fx67dSliF_B2_w4rlQg

Is there anything else?

I like cheese

There you are

Yes well

Blitzen is it?

Do I know you

That's just german for lightning

And donner?

Thunder

Bring it

It's where we get "detonate"

Plosive

Ppppppppp

Such report

Did you get the information you needed

Llllllllllickyou

Fine very good

Clearly someone didnt do all his vocab homework

Unga bunga?

Report

Report what now?

a sudden loud noise of or like an explosion or gunfire.

Yes!

Ppppppppppp

There will be much more of this

Jsyk

Ok I am over and out lol


I love you
Rebecca

Copy that

And ditto

And i love you too

Which would have made a lot more sense if you knew movie quotes

2024-11-20T06:57:20

Good morning!

Hi :)

What you up to?

Just waking up. You?

Preparing to drag my ass upstairs to start the work day

Very sad

Tis

What are today's plans?

1) survive new supervisor

Ohhh

"Superior" to you?

He's just being weird

Okay sure, but do you report to him, is he adjacent to you, or do you oversee him?

I report to him and I'm pretty sure this is the first time he's ever been a supervisor (day 5)

Internal or external hire?

It's David

Internal lol

Lol

I forgot that

Fucking weirdo new boss

Yeah
Just a touch too much clippy vibe

What are you going to do with your free day?

Ope, team meeting time lol here we go

I dont have a solid plan yet

Need a shower. Need motivation

Want to clean, want to go somewhere, want to homemake, unsure best course of action or best place to go

Gladly accepting recs

So no ideas? Sad

Sorry team meeting

So glad I'm working a Wednesday :/

Mmhmm

I bet

It's just wonderful

Yes

What does your day consist of?

Two team meetings and worky work

Gotcha

2024-11-20T13:13:45

Hey doll

O hai

How are you? 🙂

Meh

What's wrong?

Just not feeling it today

I know the feeling

Sorry babes

I have sort of company this weekend but if you feel like an excursion id be happy to be your companion

Thank you

Sorry i cant do more

😢

It's ok thank you

What else is going on?

It's raining

Crikey I need an attitude adjustment

How do i help this?

Just bear with me I'll get over it

You've been more than kind and understanding with me

Of course i would be with you, regardless of how my own melancholy was met by you

Thanks babe I appreciate you

I still think something else is wrong

But you can tell me or not

No judgement, no interference unless you want it

Hmm? Something else wrong? Idk I think I'm just grumpy because I started on the wrong foot this morning and I'm in one of those work phases where everything is annoying

Definitely not the first time

Okay

What started the funk this morning?

I don't know. I couldn't find my glasses for 15 minutes.

:(

Tell me about your day!

I feel really unwell

Have been doing house stuff mostly today

Just paid my friends at the FCAS a visit

Still need a shower lol

Headed home now

Really hoping i get left alone tonight

Also hoping i dont need any medical intervention coming up but we'll see

Sorry you're unwell what sort of medical intervention do you foresee needing?

If i need something it'll be IV antibiotics

Hopefully I'm okay though

I may have procured some things with you in mind

I say that instead of "for you" so that you don't feel obligated or icky accepting them or not

Thank you!

Do you think you have an infection?

I cant tell

Maybe

Ok I trust you will know if you need help yeah?

No messing around with sepsis

It's.... tricky with me

I think so

Hence my concern 8|

I know. Thank you

Did you realize FCAS = Fellow of the Casualty Actuarial Society?

I've spent so many years with them that's immediately where my head went lol

I dis not know auch a group existed

Yep CAS is the professional group that sets the standards for Actuarial training and certification in P&C insurance.

CAS = college of arts & sciences to me lol

You gosh darn liberal arts majors ...

Only some of my degrees are liberal arts

:P

Are you wfh tomorrow?

And would you like to know what i procured you?

Yeah, and I forgot I have to take RLH to hospital

And I do want to know!

Oh dear

Is she alright?

This is for lumbar facet joint anesthesia. T spine too maybe?

This happens on the regularish

Outpt thing

Like cortisone shots?

Like but not cortisone, yeah

I don't remember the names, I think there are two

Easily the 30th such time

Ok 20th

Ill take some

Shw can have saline

I'm honestly unsure if this is efficient now as it was 10 years ago

Or effective

I dont know why i even bother with any kind of pain killer most days

What i can take and what i have access to do not work

So you're busy tomorrow evening as well?

"busy"
No
But not untethered

We will be back home by 1600

I will still be at afhq

I imagine so, indeed

9.5?

What is?

My foot

Shoe

Yes

I missed the opportunity to promote my belt buckle size

Just sayin

Oh, did you?

It's a sight gag, I'll have to show you

Anyway, i thought these were designed for utility. Ish.

null

Them are beautiful!

Them are yours

With your carpet as a background

Oh lol

Thank you babe!

And nautica

You be fancy and shit now

Lol ye

*ye

Damn it

Youre welcome

Haha I hope the brand can take it

I'ma straight up drag em lol


Jk

That was very thoughtful

💖

They'll be sanitized

I trust nothing & no one lol

Good girl

null

Tread is good tho

Awesome!

Good to go

:)

Nope. Lysol spray ftw

They feel suedey

Good good lol yes I believe in microban

Ah yes

Too many years of hospitality trauma with that for me

But yes

Typically i would literally put them in the washing machine too

Up to you

The interweb says theyre vintage

For reals? Vintage even

Woo I just went from zero to two pairs of capable boots tyvm!

2?

I bought some boots online on a rec from you! But no worries, that set is tall and super duper insulated

Different tools for different jobs

And I love having the low cut style !

I'm looking for a stylist for me hair

It's been more than a year since i did anything, i also dont know if gendered stylist matters to you

Whatcha gettin styled?

Find me a new job yet?

I need to talk to the boss about that see sexetary

Sorry HR will take care of that yeah

Lol

I just want the dead ends dealt with really. I want to be able to do it up or down any which way! Lol

You can have my job sis

It would honestly be better if we both just retire now

Ish

Meh

Sounds like a lot of actual work

Which I'm okay doing, I'm really struggling with the hours i am expected to perform my job

And the micromanaging

Hey do you miss ajvar?

Huh?

Not so much

Lol

It's popular Bulgaria-way

Wasn't sure how prevalent in Poland

You know that's the same difference between nyc and kansas city or minneapolis?

You do have a point

Damn Europeans too cheap to take vacations lol

I hope you realize I jest

null

null

Nope

More down suits you better

Comme hier

Haha secret encoded in the pics!

Turns out there's a smell encoded as well

Nope. Just me being needy

Actually...

Hmm?

Look at the jackets

And I wasn't clear, which pic did you prefer?

Did I mention I hate self-portraits?

Oh and boys are arriving

Demain, après midi

But that could be good news....

I did not say otherwise

;)

Tell me all about your possible sepsis concerns now please

Do you feel any?

Describe plz

Measurements, give. I know you have them

Expect prompt response plz

I am cold and achy

Have you been spiking temps?

Kind of

And

Examples?

I will send an ambulance to your house

You will not

My temp is always complicated

Keep me informed plz

I just dont know what to do, unfortunately

Tell me what's going on

Which sector?

Most important first

ABC

You just mean healthwise then

You are definitely going to be licked for this

It's actually. ABCD now

You're killing me here

It's how they do med stuff now, for real

Airway
Breathing
Circulation
Deformity

Princess I know that

And HRU

Murr

I need to eat
I need to work
I need to clean
I need to rest
Idk what else

nanana

Just get some nourishment and rest

All day in the cesspool is hard on a girl

Nothing els matters now, right?

I still have mandatory OT

Ffs

Yeah

First time in 8 years i had my time card rejected was because i didnt commit to certain hours this week

You have to disconnect from that shit

Just rest

I. Cannot. Do. This. Anymore.

You can't do anything now either

I'm sorry it's a shit pool

I want to say something i havent ever wanted to be true

To me or ???

To you

Not safe to say it to anyone else

I am too sick and unwell in my head and in my body to be treated so normal, which is totally subpar if we're honest

So what

I dont know what I'm supposed to do

For now

Right now

Just breathe

Just breathe babe

I mean this literally

Right now

null

Are you with me or no

Yes

Are you able to just vacate your thoughts for a moment?

Honestly no

Ok

No worries

I'm sorry

I wish I could redirect your focus

From afar

Me too

Or really, from up close

But I'm not being lascivious

I understand

I thought you were feeding me?

I know the awful tornado of shitstorme

Not the same way as you, and I was luckier

Howso?

Meds and circumstances worked for me 60% and I was able to change 20% so 80% extra free for me.

Feels great if I take care of myself generally, occasionally leaves me wanting (like this morning)

I Don't think you got the same deal as me

Explain more please

In whatever terma you need

For all intents and purposes i am dumb as a rock rn because i nevwr know what you know and what you don't

I'm just waxing Gothic.

You know today is the first time I said HRU

And more importantly how is your

ABCD

and you never gave me temp readings

I know it is to me

Or anything

My thermometer is near the food

And i am not

And not once

Not even on e

Since 1900

Have you consulted said thermometer

True

Or not true

Not since before then even

Nor did i say i had

How claimeth you spike fever?

She who is the ONLY

person who has ever taken her temperature as a passenger in my car

You are sus dear one

Has "lookit all the places I stash therms"

Please tell me when i last told you id spiked an official fever

1/2

2/2

Alas -

Spiked Temp =/= fever

Kind of =/= yes

Weasel words

Tell

Immunosuppress drugs suppress fevers too

Good

Then why

And a normal fever vs a spiked temp for me are different

Bith are alarming

Supressing fevers is actually not good

I get that

I have had an elevated for me temp

Do you not understand I care about your well being?

Why tell me you might have to go hospitly

Hospital

Oh

Actually

You saying that so pointedly now...

...i did not

And then speak in tongues about what's happening rn

I was keeping you informed

I didnt want you to be alarmed

But i didnt want to lie to you

It's a little alarming when you say casually that you might need iv ab

Innit?

C'mon

And i dont think I'm in actual danger yet

Well now that I'm crying

I'm sorry

I might need a minute

I was earlier

It's not you

Why were you crying?

See ^^ and ^^^^^ etc

Hey

I might be starting to get it but not really

I will try and explain in a minute

I just want to know you are ok

I'm not septic

You know this how?

You set up pretty big expectations

Just saying

Because ive been septic enough times to know

Ok I asked about that

And you said "tricky"

Tell me

Meeeeee

Because i go from completely fine to delusional in just a few hours

You think I don't get that?

I do understand

More reasons for me to be concerned eh?

Keep going please

What else?

Your nose is how wet

Now

I slobbering in it

I dont think you know why I'm crying and i didnt like it so i stopped

Did you wish to tell me?

I am here to listen

Why do you think

No, really im asking

Hopefully not because I'm being a dick

But maybe

I already told you it wasnt you

Well I have zero context then 🤷

It was starting to set it how much no one has ever cared

Dang dude you are hard catch me up

I meant with hospitals specifically

Health care is not in good shape around here anymore

You are a far better judge than I, but even since 2018 I can see it

I dont know what you mean by "around here"

Fwiw, we are on 2 different wavelengths rn

98.9 btw

Sorry I will let you lead

Ty for the temp :)

Uncanny

No really, what is "around here"?

In the so called united States

I am being hyperbolic

But healthcare insurance is a fucking joke

Yes yes

I almost died in Portugal

Ive had social medicine firsthand

Right I know your experiences are indicative of how sucky we are

But

You are how now?

How...?

😐

You well being, to start

Oh. Better in general

Good ty

So why were you crying

I cannot guess I have zero idea

I told you

Because it was setting in just how little anyone ever cared. And that i was so worthless i may as well not live in a lot of those instances

Thank you

You told me something similar many days ago. Not today.

Or show me because I missed it

And yes, yes you are worth it

And you do matter

And you are important

And I care a whole lot
Don't pit me away from you

Please

FML I see it now but I misunderstood

I connected "hospitals"

Dang it

I'm sorry I'm overbearing.

I care about you

It's from a place of good intentions

I don't think you're overbearing

I think i honestly do not understand

Understand

Understand what

Genuine concern

Say more?

Is that why you were crying

Yes. And i had to shut it down because i do not have time for that rabbithole

Do you

But I will wrap myself around you

Will you pull me in too?

Yes

But do i what?

I am really sick of being dizzy rn

What can we do

I am trying to figure that out

Ok

Blood sugar is up to 99

Yay

2024-11-21T05:08:24

Good morning :)

null

2024-11-21T06:55:18

❤️ good morning! ❤️

How are you?

Missinf a good hair day and everything

null

Aww hii!!

null

Want some tasks for the day?

https://open.spotify.com/track/3xrwXWG4O9uhtRyAd3MCou?si=x6WRMSLKSm-w_sKLd5JCfw

Thank you!

I guess I'd better see what work I'm supposed to be doing

https://open.spotify.com/track/34Tmk8gwlRRegVVZDRxXxk?si=tG9FY2QvSaK2wTeovwDcaw

So you aren't doing tasks para me?

Drat.

https://open.spotify.com/track/741UUVE2kuITl0c6zuqqbO?si=plkkpTWJSpKYrzMnYmWo6Q

https://open.spotify.com/track/735rjks7kQgWCjTQlIHMuH?si=Xa2xb4bBQcunBKEfh3EWKA

Meetings for me til 1230

Good luck!

Tiny break!

No systems access for me

Waaaahhhh

Anyway

Gots taskses for you

O no more work?

Nooooo

I'm too sleepy

Personal taskases

2024-11-21T11:07:34

Christ jesus i am dying down here

Too much rahrah?

Straight monotone numeroc ppt slide speeching

This is just half

null

Do you want to go somewhere or have dinner? Fr tonight

Yes I do, I will see if I can make something work :)

I just read a story on Reddit that could almost have been written by you, from childhood experiences to a now 40 yo figuring things out.

That's very literally me

Constantly and not even 24 hours ago!

Just got some kinda sucky info

How is hospital?

We leave around 1400. Still at home

Does she go under general? Twilight? Just versed?

Twilight I think

She's usually on her feet within half hour of completion

Well, no. This person went to prison. So did here dad, twice

What's the news?

I do not work next week.

Heeeeeee does.

From home.

All 3 days.

Oh ffs

2024-11-21T14:17:11

Back at the phleb lands?

You would think so , but we haven't left yet. She is notoriously incapable of leaving the house on time for anything, and I'm done being the timekeeper.

Ummmm

Very odd. This is an advanced scheduled medical procedure. They WILL cancel

And she has been cancelled at least once before for being late

Oh I think we're ready to leave now lol

I see

Do you have, perhaps, a foot or foot and a half/slightly wider and 30"+ long board?

To top an opentop bookshelf to make another shelf atop lol

Well we made it lol

I do have a lot of wood scraps, I probably have something like that

OMG there were three Rebeccas here in the waiting room lol

There were 3 Rebeccas in my high school bio class too

We sat in a row together based on last name per the seating chart lol

Make a decision yet?

A decision?

About getting out?

Yes and yes

I also just ate too many cookies. Blerghh

Blerggh lol

I need an excuse

Tell her tomorrow that she asked you to go find a specific food item

Turns out she made up the food with after anaesthetic lols and you were on a wild goose chase

Or you heard of a market David was going to and you wanted to join his quest

Or you were overwhelmed by boys and wanted a quick break

Needed office things?

You can also just say no

A friend needed a ride since they were stranded in the afhq parking structure and you have a badge and could access to give them a jump

You just keep these in stock

Butter is on sale

I don't have friends, remember?

Give me a few minutes
About to head home now

Take your time

Maybe we just say no for today unless you want to clean with me

There definitely was a time the anaesthesia play would have worked, but I don't think it will be lol. But I like the creativity!

I could gobto staples with you!

Dont you need new shoeboots

I know!

I have to go get prescriptions now

Dang it

This was a lot easier when rite aid was here

Here's a fun fact: one time at u of m my fentanyl was $8/mcg for having a temp chest line placed

$8/ mcg/ml solution

I needed 250 mcg that time

Dayum

So 2.5mg i think

0.250 miss metric

Oh is it? I didnt deal much wuth micro

To place that temp tunnel onccccccce was $26,593.60

Not including the hosp stay before or after

Eaxh acetaminophen was a solid $3

Omg new fave

null

$1209.60 for concious sedation, throughout all of which i still had addl charges for each of fentanyl, versed, lorazepam, and idk what else

Only $56 each hcg test

$41 ungodly dollars for each glucose check

$2500 each day i stayed in my ultra luxury isolation room just to exist there

$44 for each "iv start supplies" kit

$795 to wave a wand over my super sick gallbladder. And it hurt anyway!

Why are oxycodone, omeprazole, tylenol, cymbalta, and gab all $3/tablet?

I def know which has the best value there

I've wondered that myself

Apap is super cheap too

I'm about to get some rn actually

This was in hosp

I can tell you outpt later

Apap?

Having billed hospital services, it's fucking arbitrary

Maybe those drugs find their way to me

I'll trade you tictacs!

Lol

Yes

But what is apap?

M&ms?

You know they get paid 5 cents on the dollar for most things by the blues

I'll spring for some mentos

Hydrocodone

Blues pulls the lofe outta me anyway. Even deal

Ohhh yeah

I woulda just said norco

I couldn't remember that name lol

Maybe you need a dollar tree trip tonight!

Oh gods no

Noooooo

Just come clean. I have kneesocks and a duster for you

Omg i lovvvvvvvve me the $$store!

Lol

Wanna head out to birch row?

Dojt make me shlep you to waltstore

Not the Wally world noooo

5 below

Homegoods

Mega mall is open til 8 today!

Down South they used to have the Bent Can store. You could get dented and perhaps slightly out of date canned and dry goods. Green beans 25 cents!

They're 50c at meijer this week even if they're perfect! All meijer brand canned veg

Nope

Nope

And i grew up with a lot of influence from depression era grandparents

Same

We could not go to some grocery stores because they were too expensive

My mom says she cried when ground beef went to whatever in the 70s (probably 50 cents a pound)

Yeah

My grandpa just cut the mold off when stuff went south

Yet he died with $1.6m liquid, 3 endowment scholarships - maybe 4? And whatever assets. A house in Farmington hills i guesRithes brother donated a help desk to a university

And yet once upon a time one punched the other across the face for a tomato to eat and another time my grandpa went the wonter without boots or anything sufficient for shoes because he left them on the porch overnight in 1930 and his neighbor stole them so the neighbor could work since he was an adult

Huh

Every time i have to get my port flushed i make bcbs pay um $260

For saltwater in a syringe that i could do myself

Nice!

Get a load of this

null

Ive noticed so many things on this!

Also got you a book

Maybe more than 1 lol

I swear they fell into the cart

Lol!

Alors, je suis par seule ce soir?

I'm sorry :(

I canna

😢

I know

I'll fait pleut ici :(

Il y a une poeme fameuse "il pleut dans mon coeur" ......

null

null

null

Je commence

Eez a beeg job

Ouai

Could i interest you in some clear glass oil & vin pour containers?

May I see?

I think I have like 6 record jackets you got at Record Lounge

null

Actually the bottom of a cat tree. 1/2" plywood, in 2 squares that are screwed together (yum)

Floor Tiles are 9" square

I also have 2 pieces like the square cut in thirds

I think they are 10x24

I also have 2 of these. I only need one.

null

Oh that would be very workable i think, thanks!

null

null

Oh those are dandy!

Just let me know which Woodies you want. Any or all. And I will clean up the dingy ones

Awww thanks!

I'll have to see what works

Np

How are you? Jow is the evening and whatever?

So far so good. It's my Amazon day, so sometimes that's fun!

And goobers are here

And there was much rejoicing

I have a sore throat most of the day tho and it mak a me nervous

What's the rejoining for? What did amasanta bring you?

Oh no!

But yes, i do need to temp check

A s xy throw blanket for me and the cats , for the one workable chair in the basement

A proper ( if cheap) gouge for wood turning

Some light machine oil

Dont threaten me with a good time!

2x2 gauze pads nonsterile

Hehe!!

99.2

Ok good thank you

Yep

A little concerned but i think ok

A big box of alligator clips

Do with what you will

No one likes teeth

And assorted multi tester leads

Shocking

Lol

You still have that spark

So watt's up?

Cirrently

Not much. Pretty grounded

Though i can alternate with being direct

Bwahahaha!!!

That really turns me on you know

Nothing if not a harnessed force of nature

I wanna seeeeee youuuuy

FR?

I mean I want to be there

With you

Somewhere

Umcanny

It's been too damn long

Very agreed

I wanna talk to you like fr

If you could take me anywhere at all, cost and logistics having no bearing, where and why?

Ooh this one s a fun question

I was thinking it a lot today

And your thought just now resurfaced it

Yay!

Yeah i miss you

So anywhere huh

Yes

I wonder if I should pick something I know and love, or something I don't know.

Did you know Uruguay is among the nicer places on the planet?

Or so I've gathered

Lcol

Friendly

Or at least easy to ng

Going

Telecommuting options

Diiiiid you know it's one of 4 countries in s america i visited?

What did you think?

I mean parts are impoverished

But seems civil

I think you're very correct

I also think i dont do well with that kind of heat and humidity

Ah

I had the impression its kinda moderate (like a Michigan lite), but of course idk

So you like cooler or drier?

What about hot and dry (like AZ)

Cold and wet (Seattle)

(Scotland,)

Seattle is pretty moderate

It's wetter here than there

null

What abute Novah Scotiah?

Been there too

Ultra expensive

Ultra friendly

Really

Huh

About a year ago

Cape breton

Oh yes!

Do you like walking or hiking at all?

Urban or wild

Urban or tamer for actual walking

I love mountains though

Urban has always been my default because i can be more independent

Well, international kind of offers both sonce public transit is a real thing elsewhere

Ok cool

Well I think I'm going to choose some places I do not know

I want to see the Czech Republic

Been there too lol

Gorgeous

I want to know the birthplace of some awesome beer history

And southern Germany

For the same reason

Been there lol

But my first beer ever was in Praha

Niiiice

That's bragging rights legit

I got to my hostel there as it turned to midnight on my 20th birthday. Got lost in slovakia earlier that day lol

Hehe

I also want to see vietnam

Not funny then but now, sure

Idk why

Food

That was it

And I need to understand equatorial living

Ive not been to asia

Almost did a short term atudy thing in vietnam

Just so I can confidently say that's not for me

But they do cool things there

I would want to see there and cambodge for the french architecture and colonial relics

India ofc

Same for tahiti

Goaaaaaaa

Get me a baby elephant

Aww

Goa is where i want to see moat in india

Most

Sorry, typing is a struggle after 16 hours i guess

Back in a bit

null

2024-11-21T20:39:44

O hai

Been bonding with stepson

Oh yeah?

Tell me!

We just gabbing

Man stuff lol

In fact I like hearing what he is saying for once. It sounds like real ambition

I am happy

https://preservecompany.com/collections/preserves-marmalades-jellies?utm_source=Klaviyo&utm_medium=campaign&utm_campaign=Nov+21+-+Mrs+Claus&utm_id=01JD50HEQHV00YXFBCBJEP36V4&_kx=Pxt8UDJt0GMXTOt0ZCh2n7Pm1j_0nJizkVJQfrsAeU83sEwLuwG61VpNwjfUtEP6.ae7Hu5

Please tell me more!

I just sanitized my phone and case and it was fun

Yum above ty

Ive been there

Have some jars in my pantry

Tell me about the man chats!

We talked about oak in the property

Making things with resin

Solar powered projects

The insane she cat of his. We are cat sitting

Cadillacs

Deer kills (the vehicle kind)

This guy,,, wait for it

This guy that married the kids' aunt

He's a kiwi who builds, refurbishes, and sails boats

All over the place, but they live in the charlevoix area

He just built the place, using boat building themes. Gobs of expensive lumber in th house and his work barn

He gifted huge pieces to my kids

It's re really cool

Like 40 foot trusses

And 30 foot laminated beams

Huge wins for these guys

I am glad

Wow that's awesome!

Who is their aunt?

Dad's sister?

Yes

I'm glad to see wind in their sails

Oh

And I had to explain why the green olives (yes those) in the fridge are weird

Why?

Well

I'm glad you asked

You see last week when I went to grocery

Kroger was out of my usual size of jar of olives

Right

So

Hmmm

I bought the half quart size right

A pint

And

Yes

2 cups

Get this lady anything she wants for

Roughly 500ml

Yours sweetheart

So

I pulled into my driveway right

Yes. Your sickly premature baby olives

And the next thing I know, me and this point of olives right

Pint

PintIn

Ok Eliza Doolittle

Oh and by the way

Up your module

Neenerneener

So me and olives right

Yes

Yeah

She's going in me and I'm like wfaf

Dammit

Olive freak

Pimentos wtf I love you but why

What

Nope

Not here

What is this abomination called low sodium OLIVES

I died that day

For you

So you don't have to

What will you do when you have your way all the time?

Hey babe i have to be done for now. Panicky. I will be okay. I work AM

And low spdium is actually more dangerous than full salt. Will explain later

How shall you refer to me?

Oh ok no worries

Nvm I'm just being silly here

Take care of yourself 💖

I know

It's not you

TTFN

❤️

2024-11-22T06:59:50

Eyy

Aeee

How are you?

Good! Slept a bit long

Nah

Tell me again about your night!

It was pretty tame after that. I got some food and went to bed more or less

Oh did I mention Chopin?

How's work? Any G memos or important announcements about stars?

Headwinds and challenges?

Donating to political action committees and charities?

How to talk about your employer in front of family

I really should log in I guess

How was your sleep dear one?

I slept well

Did NOT like the crazy i wad feeling

Chopin? Pourquoi?

I have like 1.5 things to do for work and my brain is checked out already lol

How is rlh?

Do you have any free time this weekend? Asking so i can maybe figure out some plans. Nbd if you're yes/no

I might have free time but not sure when. RLH will be driving the dudes back up north at some point

There's an estate sale kinda near you this weekend. I might go

It's just a few hours

Right

O rly

But i have no house remember

I know

1230 downer

That's the estate sale

That is very close!

https://www.estatesales.net/MI/Lansing/48912/4287621

Omfg

That egg table

Get there then

I don't want it, but it is something to see lol

Well i need basically everything they have!

Pop quiz: if you could get me any material good at all, what would it be?

You never answered the take me somewhere one either

Let's go with Vermont. I'm not sure specifically where, but it's not hard to find nice places there. You can get away from people easily, and the people are easy to be around by and large. Plus it's beautiful, hilly, sparsely populated, and liberal.

Okay :)

For material things

Does she like shiny?

Precious?

Fuzzy?

Blue?

Liquid?

Useful?

Pointy?

This be your choice

How about a nice cashmere blanket?

Why that?

Because you asked

And it sounds like something nice

I did say anything in the world too

Have I disappointed you

Not at all

I might amend the blanket specifics but it sounds very cosy

Perhaps I'll think of something else later :)

Perhaps

Big work day for you?

Not too bad

Only one meeting that matters, in 8 minutes

Good luck

Thx

2024-11-22T11:13:56

Arent you done yet?

Been on the phone with VSP and BCBS for an hour lol

I know I don't need to tell you this but medical insurance is fucking wacked

Indeed

Who doesnt want you to see?

So it turns out that when an annual eye exam is billed to BCBS as primary, the benefit is a fraction of what it would be if VSP was primary

VSP pays as a second payer, but at a reduced benefit

So when two insurances are involved on a 220 eye exam, I pay 107 instead of zero. Crazy

Can you switch primary & secondary? It also depends on if it's for sight or med optical care

Can't. Dr noted tracking cataracts and dry eye (RLH)

Oddly, even though I have cataracts as well, my claims have been billed to vision payer

And so 100% covered

God forbid you have a medical reason to see an opthalmologist

Wtaf

Buncha flippity flops

You tell em

Well now that's out of the way, I have lost all remaining motivation lol

Awww

Well then what am i supposed to do??

Entertain meeeee

Whatcha want?

Youuuuuuu

Yes please!!!

But i am a hot pile of mess today lol

Meee toooo

But I did brush my teeth

null

Current work sitch lol

Wow

Your uniform looks great

I have a thing for headbands too

Yay!

Leggins too

null

Over shorts lol

Very nice! I like it

Me too

What time can i expect my getaway companion?

null

Non

Trop triste

null

I think the goonies are getting ready to leave

I will have approx 4 hours clear when they leave (because Mom has to drive them back up north)

I do like that better thank you!

But i have to stupid worrrrkkkkkkkk

Where north?

Cadillac area ish

Which municipality

I'm trying to find that out actually

Need suggestions? Not even joking

My bad they're actually going to Claire. Their dad will take them the rest of the way to Grayling ish

But the bus do have property sort of between Cadillac and Harrison

Boys

Fml

RLH will probably be back by 1700

Clare has some cool spots if you ever want to take a day trip

Speaking of....

I've seen the beautiful rest area. That's it

Lol

I know a good bit of it. It's a close "major city" to where LTR is from and where i went to most school

And where my former bff was from

Well no, she was feom Leroy. He's from evart. They are alllllll the same

Anyway

In the next few weeks, would a day trip with you be possible?

Maybe yeah!

I still have at least 2 random days off, plus anything after the 20th this year, and most wednesdays

null

And I have times off as well. I don't usually announce them to RLH, and I havent

So you want to see how her brain works...

As they were leaving just now

I mentioned my aunt/uncle/cousin in Kalamazoo invited us to thanksgiving

She says I dunno, I don't know if I feel like travelling

As she steps out the door to travel to Clare

The driving times are identical

Yes. I was just typing that

Also..... she would just step in, sit, and go....

The truth, I believe, is she and my sons all think my aunt is a condescending bitch

Which she isn't, but they won't say it in front of me

Why do they think that,

My aunt is salt if the earth, never put anyone down in her life , or repented in a confessional for days if she did

Because they're fucking snowflakes

It's bizarre

I've been around this aunt my entire life, spent time with her, and husband etc, and of all people, she is the one I would never accuse of being condescending

I actually don't care about the decision. My cousin and her hub have two small and extremely loud children and everything revolves around them now

I'll see them some other time

But ffs be honest

Just say you'd rather have dinner here then make up some patently false story about travelling

This, coming from me, the bad liar lok

They all think they have sixth sense and they're just being nice not telling me what they think

I see

Sorry babes

No worries I got over it a long time ago

It's just stupid, the charade

On a bright side (maybe?) I'll be by your house tomorrow! Maybe I'll frandor it up too. Dont you need krogering?

Yes. Ohhhhh the charades

Cha rods

Anyhoo

Depending on how the travel today goes (lol) she wants to go mattress shopping this weekend. Idk when, and I'm not going to set the schedule

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Oh now my core hurts lol

Are you going to share the new mattress?

Glad you enjoyed that :)

I sure don't know

Don't care anymore

See here's the other thing

Bedroom is upstairs

She hates that too

Bc far from bathroom

And no way to make one up there

Maybe she should live elsewhere

Sorry

Bit salty

You're not wrong

She thinks I'm going to buy her a bigger house someday

Not gonna happen

Not with this income

And this households spending

Why does she want a bigger house?

How is she contributing?

Not necessarily financially either

I've stopped repeating that a long time ago because her feelings get hurt when I bring up money

Hey!

You're pretty damn cute

And exciting to me

There isn't much contribution to tell about

Oh hai a cute gal is pinging me rn right here!

O rly?

Pic up there says so yeah!

Lies

I saw the headband

I have many

The stretchy and the firm

Oooh

Nice adjectives

She wants more house for her things

You know, the ones that are piled up literally everywhere

As if that would solve th problem

Bc she "can't" do things

It's all a fantasy in her mind

Hey, i am same

I'd love a secluded place out of town with land too, but

I also know I will do fuck all to take care of it

And I will not go into that kinda nd of debt this close to retirement

This house is only worth maybe 130

And needs 30 worth of rehab

100 isn't gonna buy shit

You can sell whatever pics, vids, sounds, and clothes of mine you want

I get no less than half

I'd rather have what I want here and now. I've prioritized the future for a long time. This year I broke lol

Umm

I say let's make spending money selling pron

And have fun

I mean you and me

I JUST told you i would

See above

Yep, I'm just closing that loop with affirmations

But i also wanna see it first, silly biy

Boy

Like, see anyyyyyy

Of course!

I know we keep skipping that

But I can show you anytime

Do you wanna be with me or no?

Up to you, but I would love to be there

With you

Then it's settled

I want sex

Now, just fyi

A life of sex drugs and ?

Hair pulling

Oh yeah

Lol

Sex, drugs, and never enough bookshelves or thrift stores

What a great book title

I'm down

There's a reality TV show in here somewhere

Sex and the Thrifting

Pawn and Porn

My BFF is a whore and so am i

Whoawhoawhoa

Try again

Sapio sluts is nice

Pretty in Pawrn

Ok sorry I got a little excited lol

You used the word though

More careful please

No hard feelings :)

I do apologize

It's really okay

I know it was fun and in jest and a bit fevered lol

But... do you know what i didnt like or do you need explanation?

The w word is off limits, I just forgot. I cringed right after I sent that wondering if I remembered it wrong

And it's an epithet your mom uses inappropriately

Thanks

And nope, it's okay

You weren't spitting it at me so it didnt stab

She hasnt been the only one and it's not a recently acquired vocab word of hers

Totally fair. Thank you for being patient. And I will work to cement this understanding so I don't make slip ups.

Not to dwell, but I would like to say I have no desire to hurt you. None.

We can revisit that statement in the context of sex, but hiring for the sake of being mean and hurting is not me

Hiring... Lol. Hurting

I know. Thanks

And yeah.... me telling you even in a joke helps cement to you that it's not okay with me, if that makes sense

What do you mean revisit it in the context of sex?

Yes makes sense

Re sex, I know you desire some roughhousing.

I do. Firm, and tou know what you want kind of stuff

Wh is still not okay then

Can you repeat your q please?

I didnt have one

OIC
All good thank you

You sure?

Yeah I misunderstood at first, thought you were asking "what is still not ok then?"

Oh, okay

I'm clear now you were redacting a word

Yes

100% cool

In sum, never

Yes ofc

THEREFORE BE IT RESOLVED AND SO SAY WE ALL, FOR IT IS NAUGHTY AND MEAN AND HAS NO PLACE IN THIS RELATIONSHIP

Aye!

lol Google wants to translate "aye"

Twice now

Weirdos

Psht

Fave olives? Mads produced

*mass

You know the answer to that already

Well maybe not

But maybe

Green and not pimiento

No!

Green, sour, and pimentoed

I also like kalamata

A lot

I don't know so many other names though. I'm sure there are many in the mix in my fridge

We HAVVVVVVVE to take a trip to horrocks together!

Okay, which made by Lindsey are your faves?

Who?

Is that a brand

Aye

Ok I don't know it

Use the Google

I literally eat one kind 95% of the time, and most of the balance is plain black grocery store canned olives

I see a few Lindsay olives Im sure I'd love

In no particular order

Org kalamata

Cool

And then?

Blue cheese stuffed queen

That sounds nsfw

Hehehe

There's one more lemme find it

Medium green ripe pitted "smooth and buttery"

Honestly this here is a big part of why I love Manzanilla so much

Without the sour

Do you think I could sell olives I had in my ass all afternoon?

I'd wash'em

$10

Jumbo add $2

Speaking of

I had the biggest crush on a Lindsay

Still do kinda

But not so much rly

How many uninterrupted text messages have you received from a person? Biggest number?

Dozens

But you're close lol

Ty ty

A different lindsay that she of whom i am grandly aware?

Right, you know RLH is Lindsey

Yes

Hence the L

And that never bothered you? The hyphenate?

null

No it never bothered me. I never understood this patriarchal ritual

Wherein the woman's name changes

Patronymic is insanely insane

I'll have to tell you my great grandma's name story sometime

☑️

🇨🇿

Nope

Google said so

You dont even know what it was lol

Clue me up babe

You want



Olive

That one?

Huh?

We're on different tracks babes

Smooth and butt ery

Yeah I might have slipped on one

My newish phone screen protector is cracked plumb across. These things don't wear well.

So my connection to Chopin

Awww

But anyway i meant you dont know the last names

Of whom?

Most women in my life lol

But we were speaking of my grandma's mum

And patronymoc and patriarchies

Yes right!

I do not know the last names

Or maybe I saw them in an obit

But I sure don't remember now

No way you know them

So say we all

RLH has begun return trip from farewell Michigan, approx 10 minutes ago ETA 1900

You can join me chez meijer!

Oh no

Why? 🤷‍♀️

Friday before Thanksgiving

Empty

What could go wrong

Silver bells & msu game

You won't catch me naked there, I guarantee it

Il take you clothed

Can't risk it

Your loss

null

Lol thx

Revised ETA 1915

Im still at meijer....

You may turn 40 there

Fone eith me

Youll be 57

You might get stuck in
At Meijer

Do you know all the places to find lightbulbs?

Did you know I have twice as many phones as friends?

Lies

Baaaaaaabe

Yooooooo

Wassup?

Beeeebeeeee

The RLH has returned

Perhaps 35 minutes ago

And what is on your mind

You lol

@000oOo sweet baby

I am at a loss to say what question I should be answering now

Or even

The answer

Try harder

You probably are thinking of something like

If I have two red balls and 20 green balls, what is the chance I will draw on a green ball if I yank one ball out of a sac

I have an answer

Plz like and subscribe

How much have you had & of what?

3x Guinness, 1x little pipe , the one you've seen

That's it

Just high on life babe

Be high with meeeeeee

Yay!

I wanna

You are funny buzzy bunny

And sex was fun yeah?

Fucccckkkkkkkk

Yes

For you?

Damn it now I'm tingly at meijer

It was fabulous

Are you ok

At Meijer oh noes

It's a special kind of tingly

All your fault

In the changing room at Meijer

Can you imagine

I'm sure they're all over that

Do you daydream about meeeee

When you select your pickles

Which wood did you want

In the right mood, even Chopin will make me cry lol

I had no idea he was Polish until yesterday

I do daydream about you

Marie curie was Polish too

Hence the element named "Polonium" that's also associated with her discovery

That and radium

So about wanting each other....

Yes please go on

I want to hear more from you

Tell me all the new ways you want me

And the old ways too

Okay

Bottoms up

Tops down

Depraved and sensual and tender and rough and everything in between

Inside and outside

Yessssss

Details

Please

I have so much fun with you

Me too

Yay!

More

I love playiywith you

Blargle in large blargle!

??

Vogon poetry

Nvm

Yes

Your skin is so sweet

Lol i get it

And your neck so soft

Made reference to a babel fish today

Yess!

This is the way

Crickets

Fml

Fools

Yes

Are you out of the Meijer force field

2024-11-23T00:05:00

Hulloooo!

2024-11-23T08:12:20

Top o the mornin!

Hello!

How's today? How was the night?

null

Bin des elephants

Wow looky there!

I know!

Told ya twinsies

Í have more but theyre hiding lol

Quite a collection!

Lol thanks!

All but 2 thrifted, of course

Ofc!

What are you up to today?

I don't know yet

What should I do?

Shop lol

Haha you never told me how was Meijer?

I thought you got lost

Can i interest you in a tiny flasky bottle?

null

Meijer was fantastic. Hot home at 9ish

Nice! Do you reckon it's a case?

Vase

It is not

It's very tiny and meant for a condiment

It's you or recycling.....

For this space:

Mirror or painting?

null

null

That is painting

I'd say painting.

I'll take the glass artifact!

Yay!

null

2 glass open ended cylinders?

I'll pass on those ty

K thanks!

I might really go to that estate sale, did you want to jpin?

Maybe! If I can get my shit around

Kinda tuening out that way here too

What to do, what to do....

Is your cohabitant around? It's going to be hard to sneak stuff y

*in

The getting stuff in wouldnt be today's issue

I just want to leave and can't

Why not?

No excuse for where to go or why

Maybe I'll just leave?

I think i need a nap

2024-11-23T14:57:44

Hai

Hi babe

How's it going?

Pretty ok

I actually just had a short nap myself!

That's good!

Lol and my kids just walked in again... ??

Ummmm

How?

Sorry, friends here

They drove car #2 back here for some reason

Riiiiiight

Are they in trouble of some sort?

null

Idk lol

They just left again

You have babies

So frickin weird

null

null

Well ain't you a cute mommy!

Lol thanks

Auntiw

*auntie

Your plans the rest of today? Tomorrow?

Welp I'm stuck in today

Tomorrow I suppose I'm on standby for mattress store? Or idk.. the boys may be back tomorrow, in which case I will feel free to roam. I will gather more intel

2024-11-23T19:59:31

I'm watching lathing vids on YT

2024-11-23T21:03:38

What are you lathing next?

Well I've been practicing honing blades. And it has been a success so far. YT ftw

And idk what to make next

There is a lot of practice in this practice

It's interesting how many variables there are in nice turning

All sounds nice

How late are you staying up?

Late probably

0200 ish perhaps

Ok cool

Ill message after a bit

2024-11-24T01:59:26

null

2024-11-24T10:01:21

Heya

2024-11-24T11:47:58

null

2024-11-24T14:35:28

Hi

How are ya?

Murr

I was very sleepy

How are you?

Not bad. Did you sleep well?

I think so!

2024-11-24T18:02:51

How was your day? How are you, besides very quiet?

Decent. I've mostly been watching YT Croatian gentleman wood turner. He's a very good explainer.

Et tu aussi!

How is your day?

I miss you!

No sign of going to the mattress store lol

I miss you, too

It's been a bad 24 hours. That's all

Oh I'm sorry to know this

It's okay

Boo

You have many days off! What shall you do?

Tomorrow i have an appt at u of m

I have a lot to do. Not much i want to but that's alright

Cleaning mostly

I wish Thanksgiving wasnt a requisite. For me, it is

I am also essentially homebound for most of it

I am alone sat & sun though

Right. I'm over the holidays in general. Not so much stuck but always hubbub on Thursday

What might make me feel better right now ?

Keep in mind i am more limited than usual in what i can do or have access to

Is listening to music an option

Not yet

I'm at my mother's tonight, if i didn't say that yet

I fucking hurt

Sorry

Gotcha

Got amything else?

What kind of situation are you in?

What do you mean?

Are you with someone? Inside or outside? What is literally happening where you are?

In her living room. With her. L is home with his sister. She gies back tomorrow when he takes her. Tv is on. I cant tell if it's warm or cold. I think I'm thirsty? Also feeling full but unsatisfied.

It is dark. I dont feel well. Lots of thoughts about the week. My father has called twice in a day/day and a half. Having plenty of disagreements with L. And other issues at home kinda.

Just not sure what to do for any of it

Yuck

So you are very much stuck

Do you have a semi private sleepy place or something you can go to?

Or have you been there all day

I have access to tylenol

It's an entire house i can be in, mostly. It's just me and my phone. I am here thru when i go back tomorrow

Food,? As in have, had, want?

Have had. I think i want more but all i seem to want is cake lol

Caaaaake

Poor baby where is her cake?

"Something something too many calories"

Not for my baby

For HER

That's the logic for why she doesnt keep cake around

I mean cake is a lot lol

I don't keep it around much

But sometimes there is cake, and that's fun

What is your favorite?

Do you like frosting?

Usually vanilla lol

Did you launder the BLFAC jacket?

I like frosting

I usually launder things, why?

Do you like sneak off the frosting like it or just lean thick?

Usually I'll get the frostingest piece

If it's too sugary though it takes me a while bc it legit hurts my teeth

Why the blfac jacket?

And you meant vanilla flavor-wise

Not a Choco girl

I know

Oddly enough, my bday cake of choice is typically a queen Anne's torte

whoa wtf is that

QA tart

That's all I saw

Black forest cake is my choice

F l that's a lot of frosting

A discerning cake eater

I did not expect less

at Sparrow, I had a crush on this gal who was a fr cake baker

She got this expensive oven and did all kinds of things

That's what i was planning to do

Ohhhhh rly?

Thought you knew that

I have a certain interest in a reliable baking d vice

As well

Sry I didn't recall that about you but it totally makes sense

I can make fr bread

I make a lot of things decently well. Trying to remember if i had a specialty

Ppl love fresh baked

I used to bake fresh for every Friday in college that i had an oven

Also volunteer baked too much for actual causes

Yesss!

When was the last time you baked fr?

I dont know

Fair

I think it's been the best part of a year for me. I have all my flours sitting out in the ready if they haven't gone over yet

I used to fr bake for work every year

Do you miss baking?

I do

I miss a lot of things i like(d)

null

What opinion?

Sorry I misread!

Real cat?

What shall you call me in the future

Yes that's my cat in my room

Right now

Very cute!

What do you mean?

null

Camocat

Yes lol

I just got that fuzzy throw

It's cattastik

Mmhmm

So, future you?

More like future you. If I am not around.

I need more clarity

You have Astro guy

Medico guy

And then me

Omg

I have the perfect porn lol

You know you're not the only other one, right?

I can also use their names anytime you want, for the most part

Do tell the P!

Actually I didn't know that I'm not the only other one

Well

Exc or the unicorn

Wait pause - i meant that there are others who could have nicknames and i just don't

Lol I am like 5 deg warmer all of a sudden

But I've been doing little things

Ok can you please finish your previous message?

"I just don't ___". ?

I just dont (give them nicknames)

Had to put my hair back up lol !

Friggin got with it down

Oh so no nick for me uuh

Yes

Do you really want to know?

Yes

I cant know for sure, and i hope i never end up needing to use it

May I ask why you would ask, whether I actually wanted to know, if you in fact did not have answer

There are a few

IT guy
Coffee hallway guy
Once Upon A Time guy
WouldaCouldaShoulda guy
Massive hair guy

Will your appt at um provide opportunity to discuss any port concerns

For all you know the nickname could hurt your feelings

Port? No

Ok

Fistula? Hopefully

Ah, good!

What specialty are you seeing?

"Access"

🇨🇿

Yep

Ultrasound then idk what the other one is

Hmm. Ok I hope all goes nicely. Will you lmk what the second procedure is?

Not a procedure but will do

null

Literally all the info i have....

null

null

Ok thank you I appreciate it

I was not aware until an hour or 2 ago that it was 2 things tomorrow

may I ask how you wouldn't know?

Because all i did was make an appt for the ultrasound

Ok got it

Ty

Return visit access

Kinda seems like administrative

I dont think so

But also thought i would be there for like a half hour

Guess not

Then what, back homeses at some point?

Yes

There was musing of a thrift trip.

Back home to where spouse & SIL are

At some point

Cool, cool

What is next babe

?

Lol that's my question

No other context?

What is your next move rn

Possibly lay on the floor

Mum just went to bed

Why not lay in bed?

Much cleaner

Unsure of that

Better for breathing

Rly

Because i have a few things to do still

Like ,?

Also not better for breathing

Pills, tidy my stuff, repack, snack

Ok got it

In bed now

Guess I'll try and see how it goes

null

I love you!!!

I love you too

I just need life solutions

"just"

How would you feel if we could be together all the time ?

I think i would really enjoy that

Why?

And how would you feel?

I want to know

And I asked you first

I just told you

But in more detail

I would be happy and relaxed but also nervous for a while. And logistically there's a lot to it if it's a reality

But relaxed and happier. Maybe not so much pain

Lol sorry I have selective vision

I like being with you! I think I would love it! I think we communicate well.

Really?

I'm a pain in the ass to be around

null

I have a needy and largely ungrateful cat as well

Weird

That's not mine lol

Lol

What were you tuping before that?

Before what

Before i sent cat pic

Aftrr i said I'm a pain

Oh noooo a painn!

Afk 10 min fyi

Nvm

??

Here i am!

Serious question for you

Yes

Why am i all the negative things i am? Including and especially the bad kind of slutty

On whose definitions are we ruling these?

Iow

"who says you are those things?"

Not me

I might be though and you just dont know yet

And i definitely am a ton of negative stuff

Go ahead and name them then

Tell me who you really are

What do think I will say?

I'm for sure slutty and disloyal

I'm mentally not so stable

I have bad and sometimes irresponsible habits

Why is it every time you are isolated with spouse or mother you are 100% self deprecating

Is that true?

Yup

Oh

Idk what you did to them but you didn't convince me

Are you horrible icky evil person

Go ahead and tell me

Sometimes and it depends on the definition

I am selfish

Do your worst

Fuck me over as hard as you can

I am not nice or very friendly

Always in a bad mood

Mm

And?

Still a whore

Says ... Who? Oh yeah...

A friend coming enabler

A fucking enabler

Fts

Which?

Your mom

Oh

Is complicit

Enables

Rape

Fts

Calls you a whore!?????

Ha sorry struck a chord

Tells me i look slutty and that i need to wear more makeup

Fuck
That
Shit

I will slap her

Wish I could but I will not

Hey

I tell her about something and she says "well at least it isnt_______" (which i was also present for and do not need reminding of and she doesnt even know.if she heard my whole side of things)

Sorry

Ty

All good

Thanks

Jsyk you are safe in this

With me

I do not know what that means rn

I am not going to use vulnerability against you

And not For my benefit

I'm angry at those who failed you

Not you

Do you understand?

Kind of

Ok

Well this isn't a good way to go to bed

You understand i will likely never tell you everything?

Can you tell when i specifically hold back or omit now?

I understand you will tell me as much as you will tell me.

You understand you tell me more than maybe you realize?

Through words and actions. I know who you are, actually pretty well.

And I like you

Can you please tell me?

Tell you what

What you know/"know" about who i am

No, I can't exactly

It is quite complicated

Yes, it is

And not only am I rusty

I am slower than I used to be

B t I feel a great deal more than I used to

Or should I say, I permit this information

Bc I blocked it mostly, for a long time

From me or everyone?

Everyone generally. For a decade or two!

Long time

Do you think you can identify specific negatives from/about me or my life that i haven't told you?

Not now. I did figure out SA before though, if you will recall

Why does it matter?

I do not recall

You knowing the SA part

Yet it is so

Why does it matter?

Because i keep thinking of telling you more but idk is why it matters

Do you recall how you knew?

You talk, I kistent

Listen

Why does it matter?

You keep thinking of what, more ways to test me?

I'm just curious at that

More ways to gross me out?

More ways to convince me that people are generally assholes?

I already know

Jsyk, those first 2 rhetorical questions did not feel nice

I'm sorry

I want to know why

Why you don't just say it

Whatever it is

Oh that "why"

What do you think you are protecting me from?

Because i do not know what youll do as a reaction

Or is it something else?

I think you do actually

I'm not much deeper

??

What are you confused about

I would be telling you something i feel the absolute most vulnerable about

I do not know if you'll just listen and absorb it like you have

Or if you'd do more

"do. More" like what?

Actually no need to answer

Why?

Because you've seen me, in person even, react

This is me , that's not a personna, it is actually me

I have seen you react to stories from my past

Yes

I just want to support you

This would be more like be wordvomiting current thoughts all over you

Lol

Babe

We've been there

I'm still around

You sticking around actually isn't the concern

Ultimately

Your welfare is what matters

What did you mean by prior statement?

Examples please?

I mean that youve more than proven you're okay with my crazy and traumas and issues and all. My concern is that you wouldn't extend your reach

What does that mean exactly. "Extend your reach"?

I want things between us to stay the same

I want things between us to get even better.

Am I doing it right? Lol little jab

Lol yes

And yessssssss

Yay!!!

Well

What have we learned

You tell me

Frowny face says

"Life is hard get over it"


Glass half full says

I will keep finding ways to get closer to you

Because I love being with you

And I know things suck and are hard

But here we are

And I like figuring shit out

And I looooooove being with you

And yet.... you still dont know what i want to and cant being myself to say to you

And I looooooove talking to you

Why will you not SAY IT?

It is hard

Em hm

It's ok I guess if it's just a time ng thing

But plz

If I'm wrong, cut me loose

Wrong about what?

If I am wrong for you

No, you're not

Ok ty

I need a way to start the sentence

It's ok

No, it's not

I mean I want to recognize difficult topics. I cannot undifficult it away with a wave of the hand

Do as you can, as you are comfortable

What i want to say does not involve you

So that's a step

Ok that helps

I also don't know what to do about it

I got you

I'm figuring out how to say it now

One last try for you to guess. Frankly that would make it a lot easier for me

Nooo

No guessing games

Not now

I need you to promise you'll tell me if you knew

And you'll say more than "hugs"

I am always up front

You can say less

Just not hugs

I've never shared a lot of information that you know

Except with you

What do you mean?

You have asked me many questions that no one has ever asked. Personal questions

Oh

I have answered without hesitation, and completely truthful

I see

You've really stretched me in this way, but I feel safe sharing with you

So I will respond as you wish, and truthfully

Okay. Here goes

My relationship right now.

It's not terrible most days. And not like people typically expect. But it is abusive in some ways

Is there more you want you say now?

Yes. But i dont know how.

So questions are open. And now that you know, i will answer anything you ever want me to

Thank you

I have a reaction,but not questions

Okay

Whatever you want

So this is hardly shocking news

And I could say the exact same words, but they might point to different injuries/grievances

Please continue

I'd rather understand better what you mean by abusive

I dont want to discount what you're trying to tell me

You won't 🙂

How do i start? Literal question

Abuse takes what form? Physical? Or something else

It has taken all forms in the last several years. It is typically not physical

Typically?

Ways that it has or does are verbal, emotional, physical, financial, i dont have words for the others, and the question of SA or not makes me feel unbearably crazy

Ok good enough for now

Ty

I think i have one last thing to say on it from my perspective

Yes please

In my mind and memory and texts and everything else, yes, it was. His descriptor is different.

And it's led to so much of my demise

I see

Please talk

Demise sounds semi terminal. This is bad

Do you need a different word?

Maybe I just need to know if you have given up

Given up on what?

And does your response differ?

No it's ok, worry not

I was pretty checked out emotionally for about two years when we met. This allowed me to see my marriage in a new way. And not a great one, but one I could end for cause.

Sorry , *not* one I could end for cause

I dont really know what you mean by that last part

I am in a lot of bad situations. I do not see any of them getting better. I don't have a solution, really, because until this point my solution was always just suicide and i dont know that i see that as an option now

So let's think about other solutions

What do you need the most rn that you do not have?

An enormous pile of cash

The ability to hurt someone i care about

Figuring out how to move forward without anyone but myself

I dont know what else

Right. And what will we do after lunch

Lol

Yep

This has been in my head 24 hours a day for years

Also a reason i dont sleep

That and fear upon more fear

And flashbacks and some more of those

Let's not forget all the physical pain

But aren't you safe, where you are

Right now or in general?

Now

I think so

Ok

What about you?

What about me do you want to know?

1. Are you safe?

2. How much of what i said did you know before and how?

3. Tell me yours. Or pause, i know you work tomorrow

I am safe
I don't think you told me new information today

And I should pause

I didn't realize the time

Im sorry

Nana no worries

Fwiw, this was the first time i said anything to you about it

Somehow it doesn't seem so, but ok

That's why i was weird about it

I understand, it's fine

Are you upset?

No, not in the least

Okay

You'd tell me still?

I'd let you know!

Okay, good

Remind me to tell you about the carpet roll and my mother's reaction

Oh my

?

I mean this sounds like a good plot for crazy

No. Just sad and deflating

Ah, this is the thing we endure somehow

What do you mean?

Getting deflated by abusive ppl

Oh. Yes.

It just clicked that i havent ever known another way at all. There's not even anything built enough to deflate

This cant be good

But you are in fact

An exceedingly intelligent and witty person

Also highly schooled

And rather familiar with western medicine, albeit this was somewhat forced upon tou

All of this was

You have the power of many

And I haven't even gotten to the sex goddess part

I am not

We'll pick this up in daylight, i hope

For now, i love you and goodnight

Okay?

Ok babe! All good

Love you, good night!

Are you sure you're ok to quit tonight?

Yes I should be fading now very soon

All good

null

What I want

Me too

Sleep well

2024-11-25T07:24:17

null

Good morning!!!

Hey babe!

How're you?

Lil sleepy lol, but good!

When is your appt? I think you told me already but I don't remember

Now kinda

Got here a half hour ago

Supposed to start at 0900

Then the next at 1020 for some reason

Ok I hope all goes well!

Thanks!

2024-11-25T11:52:40

Hey babedude

Hiee!

Good to go?

2024-11-25T14:51:22

Meh....

Tell you in a few

Am good :)

Glad to know

null

Getting my fistula removed with surgery on 12/20

Headed home now

Busy?

Oh wow! I'm done for the day now

Yayyyy

I am just about home

Will be alone for 2.5 or so hours soon

Yay!

What about you?

Want to come over for dinner or anything?

I wish I could

I'd love to see you

Am home now

Yay!

Do you know if I'll see you this week?

I can escape Wednesday, maybe we can go somewhere

If you're free

Maybe Friday or the weekend too

Wednesday i shouldbe able to go somewhere

Weekend i am here alone

Woo!

Ideas where you might like to go wednesday?

Not yet , I'll think of something

Or if you have ideas I'm open

I have ideas

What you got?

Depends on what youd like to do most

Well I might like to go to Williamstown to check out the H4H

And find something to eat

That sounda amazing!

There are cutesy little shops there too

Yes

So

What are you doing? Have any thoughts?

Getting fistula out sounds like a good thing. Is it?

I think so

Thank you

Yay for you!

Yep!

Kinda trepidacious but it should be good

What about you?

Woo I'm excited for you!

I'm just skipping along you know

Nearly 56; whoa

Talk to me, what's going on?

Nothing really, just chillin with the cats down here

Rama wants to nap specifically in the room I am in, so he's near me all day lol

He wuvs you

He can be very dramatic too

Lately when I fuss at him for creeping up on the keyboard, he'll stand up, turn away from me, sit down, and hang his head in complete sorrow

So I let him sleep for an hour on the (closed) laptop lol

He is literally in the moddle of dRAMA

😚

Plus I got two throw blankets for the basement area and it is actually semi comfortable

And cats like ofc

I also got another copy of the air purifier I've been buying lately. I now have 4. HEPA and Whoopie do. Lots of capacity. It's really helping in this basement even though we had it waterproofed

Should clarify I have 2 air purifiers in the basement, one on back porch, one in bedroom.

I stubbed L third toe this am. It's all hematomatamomma now

And hurts

It's fine but Imma clean it up rn

Back in 10

Poor baby!

Haha thanks! It's actually fine. I have tough nails. Most of the injury is from forcing the nail down into my toe on the distal side

Ooh I'd also like to keep my eyes open for timber cuts. For free wood

For I lathe it lol

2024-11-25T21:44:29

Lol yes!

I will be free kist of friday afternoon

*most

Yay! 🎉

This is excellent news!

null

Nevertheless, do you like these smol candelita?

I you will give, good

There are also 7 smol glass units to hold such things, mostly goobered with white wax

Think about that for a sec

They're actually gross in the sense that they look like a difficult cleanup job, but these are like chubby shot glasses

Fucking ai wants "shit glasses" wtaf

"Here's your Shit Glasses mf PAY ME"

null

I've been trying to perfect a new snack

In a reused 12 oz peanut container

I'm on like 8g

Much nothing for sweet baby

Fine, fine

C'est trop mal

Heyyyy babes

8g..... of what??

Of fuck me silly
If you don't mind

Um sure??

I only mean I'm on snack generation 8

Kinda boring really

I am missing something

It's just me being silly

Viddie the photogs

Did you want or no?

Flame makers? I think I'll pass ty

Flame maker holders covered in candlesnots?

Yes please!

See I thought you wanted wax

Usually has wick

Even smol

Want containers

Ohhhhh

Sry

No sry

Ok I keep forgetting those

I have for you

Thanks 🙂

Fwiw I only use them as lubricant/waterproof coating

I found this stash she got oh circa 2008 I keep now

Lol

Well

?

So how are you feeling?

Actually a little positive

How are you?

Cannabinated?

Yes

And happy and well

And really really wants to again with you

Wants to...? Missing verb lolz

Hahaha
My anti specificity trap caught you
Lol

Now you are caught

In a web

Of my own design

Ohhhh pity me

You will need more than this

You are well and truly

Ohhhh noooo am caught

WhatEVER shall you do?

Idk but I've NEVER been candle shamed before

Not sure how I feel rn

Pretty heated lol

Ironically such a dark topic

My irony bone is way up

What happens if you get really high?

I just zone out for an hour maybe two, and then either sleep (80%) or something else.

Zone out

Well

This is like focusing on something, quite possibly innocuous or silly, and just like losing all reason for even knowing the thing exists

Which can smoothly change to a semi awake dream or just sleep

If you reakawaken instead

It's like you just had a quick daydream

I'm talking about double plus extra stoned

Can you tell me again all about me when i inhaled your breath? And after

Sure
Anything / aspect in particular

All of it please

As of right now, the only thing i have an actual recollection of is talking tree religions with you on the deck step and lamenting how much of a cliche i was

Yes yes you did!

And that was wonderful

And as I recall you got keen on kissing

And so did I

😊

What else?

Well

And I rather enjoyed hugging you and grabbing your ass with more than just hugs In mind

Did I tell you how I eat ice cream?

I know how lol

But please tell me

Whatever do you mean you know how

I have a general idea of how you probably lap up the sides and make sure the drips get attention and you lick with intensity

You are woefully misguided, little one

First things first

I eat it in a bowl

Preferably a large one

And I like it nearly submerged in richest milk

And I devour it with a teaspoon

But if I must lick from the cold cold cone

You can be sure I want every drip and drop even if I get covered in it

Mmmhmmmmmmmm

And i am back up in my room now

Yeah?

Does it feel nice to be home

I was home, just hadnt been upstairs

Precision princess point no 2

Does it feel nice to be in your bed?

All I've done so far is sit on the edge of it

But i actually do not like this bed at allllll

That said, i like my own space with its own noises and such

Right, I get that

For sure

What is wrong with bed

I like your spaces and noises too, fyi

Well for basics, i just dont think this bed is super comfortable. I am trying to be positive and make it better that way though.

I dont like its base either. Very impractical IMO. And just some other stuff about it

Fair

Do you think you would prefer firmer mattress or softer?

Kind of both. One that's cushier, like maybe one of the newer nectar types?

I'm not familiar. Don't know 🤷

Casper? Purple?

Saatva is supposed to be great. Kinda bought one once. Never slept on it

On a saatva now. It is ok but not great.

Thanks!

Had leesa before this. Wore out quickly

You might like the saatva. It's ok for me alone. Not ok for me and her

Why?

It caves in

Oh, no

Right, no bueno

No, it's not

I will suck you on mattress

2024-11-26T06:54:46

null

Good morning!

Enjoy work:)

:P

Why does work slug have arrow through head?

What!?

null

Lol i thought they were ears

Hahaha

2024-11-26T10:07:47

null

Well aren't you cozy

2024-11-26T15:24:19

What are you up to cutie?

Been sleeping for a few hours

Now going to clean

You?

Barely working

Sitting in last meeting

Who is scheduling meetings this week and why?

Lol right?

Actually this has been a standing meeting for a year. We usually cancel

Which you still should have

Haha yeah. Dave the new supervisor wants to do show and tell

Dows he understand that no one will like hom after this? Lol

Hey you!

Heeey youuuu

What's up?

How you been?

Well I'm deliberating on the fish tank for the umpteenth time

Except I've made a decision

For once

Good for you!

Yes

Woo!

What it is?

I'm going to scrap the original stand. I will set up the aquarium in a temp location where I will not need to worry about it and get some water moving

And shop for a thing to act as a stand

I actually think a modest lamp table will do the trick

Now I have to find the motivation to do things lol

How is your day???

It was decent!

Cleaned
Slept
Cleaning now

Gotta do a hard thing but it's ok

Oh no not the hard thing

Yep

Seriously though, hafta do it and don't want to even a little

You make any choices for tomorrow yet?

Yeah, I've pretty much decided I would like to go to hab a Guillaume. And catch beer and booze store on way back

A specific one in Okemos that I cannot recall the name of atm

Oh, and doing it under the pretense of holiday shopping

So RLH will settle down

She fine

What's going on with her?

If friday is better then i am totally fine skipping tmrw

Nothing at all, I just want to avoid a counteroffer of going to the mattress store. Which I don't think she will be in the mood for anyway, it's just best to go as wide around these things as possible

Don't poke the bear, they say

So unless something changes I am going for it, and would love to pick you up and go for ride!

It sounds lovely

Did you have times in mind? I may have to figure out workarounds is all

I am also very sneezy, if that matters

Pleased to meet you, also very sneezy.

Probably early afternoon tbh

12 or 13 ish

Okay cool thx

I will let you know when i can

null

Did you do the hard thing?

Awww

I have not yet

I made a tank!

So much as I can rn

Wonderful!

It will be for actual fishes?

null

I get to buy a bunch of stuff now :)

Real image?

Took it just now!

null

I was actually kind of surprised by that closeup, which I took with the phone literally on the plexiglass

Anyhoo, yeah I have my heart set on African cichlids

Do you know much about fiah varieties?

I actually had moments when I thought of fancy goldfish

I've had both

And they're wonderful creatures

Little go getters lol

And lazy fuckers, just like me

Lol surrrrrrre

null

My favorite kinda slug right there

Kittehhhh

Toes rubbed?

I guess?

No pills for mommy

Only attention for puppy

null

Oh noes!

Right?

I've never been the kinda person to steal somebody's dog

Well once I did

But I might have to steal your dog

Wait, what!?

null

null

Mine now

Nope

She is busy too

null

We shall see lol

I just did a shoot with Bala

And me lol

I have yet to look at the proofs on my camera

Awwww

Beeeebay!

What else is happening?

I am stuffing my face with snacks

Listening to music

None for me?? V sad

Download happens from camera SD card

What you want?

I should send camera to house

Take photo of you and your kitty too

Check this angle

null

There is similar on the other side

I've never tried to do supplemental lighting like this, so I hope it's cool

I know I forgot to fix x the floor cus on a whole bunch of shots tho booooo

You did good

Lol forgot to fix the focus

I hope I did good somewhere in there!

Rando Q here

Do you like extremely cold weather?

Ah. Tricky question.

Yes is what I'll say for now

Why?

You?

Yes, in small doses

Kind of a thrill

Challenge

I also appreciate a total isolation from the elements, at times

What do you mean?

Like being in a cozy place where I don't have to worry about wind burn lol

Oh, I see

Do you like sleeping room warm or cold

Cold

I do not like warm i am not in control of, if that makes sense

Yes, 100%

null

That's my favorite!!!

Presenting

Balaram Sapphire Thomas Ivan The Great

I see nothing

That would be the cat above

Ooooh

So who is bala and who is rama?

That one is Bala aka Balaram

null

And rama is ramayan?

Rama is this guy

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rama

A pretty cool frood, if you are receptive to the idea

Well

Ramachandra Birch Holaday

Yes! That one

There are many flattering pics of him

Of his likeness

I did not know his name

So rama has your last name

Indeed lol

He came here because he was verily rescued from the farm

Where his sibling/s was carried away by a hawk

And I with the love of the stripey cat

So he is a survivor

And he basically gets anything he wants

He's has a few scares, but he is doing really well now I'm happy to say

COVID is the best thing that ever happened to him lol

Because I'm around all the time

Lol true

Sorry for the delay

Oh? Everything is ok?

Yeah

Phone died, didnt realize how long i had been sitting so i needed some fluid and grabbed some crackers til i go downstairs

There?

All is well

Ty

What's onyour mind?

Best way to ground an outlet in this basement
And need to install GFCI device

null

I know what I will do; I have done same procedure elsewhere recently

Wear rubber boots?

Hey, it's a valid solution

Right! Where's me Wellies?

null

Lol

Wanna stay "with" me while i do a thing?

How's that?

Well, how much later will you be awake?

Idk an hour or two I guess

Why seem sad?

null

Lol I look like my mom's dad here

He was prof

Actually no

He was chemist

And made a mint at Ford

Like the color?

Like the money

What did he mint?

Actual money?

Ford not money

Is idiomatic; "he made a lot of money"

Cars

Lol

Well anyway

It's me

He was well educated ifct

Ofc

Implemented some kind of anodizing process

Was in WW2

My mom's dad roo

Shooting out the back of bombers

Mine kinda made pacific telecomm and whatever popular

A n y w a yyyyy

null

Is gummy bear?

I am keeping him warm in my tummy now

Haha

And maybe a kin of his. Maybe not

Lucky bastard

Better luck later this week?

Pray

No government involevement thx

Lol

Hahaha!

😊

We should be chatty

What else are you up to?

I can be very chatty if you really want

Careful what you wish for

Well the gummy bros were special so have at it

Heh!
Are they ... Food?

Ummm

They were made with food grade ingredients in a kitchen?

With gelatin or no?

Pectin was an ingredient

Cool, cool

Fun!

I hope so

I did not make the little guys

You made this one?

Oh lol

I have made gummy bears before, years ago, when i was super sugar free about everything

You actually know who made them lol

Is it so

Does she have Siamese cats?

Not that i am aware of

Right ok

Does she use Lucida Console in emails?

Jesus i hope not

She knows better or i would have already reprimanded her thisly

Whoa lol

Also, about 20:05

LC is not enterprise approved

I'm sorry LC?

Oh nvm

Lol

That does not stop ppl from wanking in their signatures

Ohhh i know

I politely reply to them

Do you cite
Chapter and verse
Do you tell
Them to suck a horse

Do you know the department formerly know as CAAS?

Internal audit

Yes. I know them

So the chief for the longest time had this fucking rainbow of core values in his sig

Nope. Not allowed.

He did not gaf

He a VP and you all can suck it

Gotta love it

What is your favorite typeface?

For sure

I have saved, somewhere in my archives

Your welcome,

(Some vp or higher at UH in a mass email)

Oh tough q

Situation dependent

But we've not solved our first quandry!

Big difference at 28:35

I'm sorry what is 28:35?

Happier lol

Ok 😊

You have no less than 3 things to figure out still

Curses!

I don't remember what they are

1. Something about gummy bears ;)

2. Who made the little grizzlies?

3. What was 20:05?

4. Your fave font

Y'all this is tough

Nah

I have zero information on 1 and 2

3 I don't comprehend

4 I asked you first

1. Why would i mention them?

2. You know the person who made them. She does not have siameses. Does not alter her approved signature.

3. I sent you a message with "20:05" - why was 20m05s notable?

4. I replied. Now you

Have you had your daily cannabinoids yet?

Yes

And I am so lost

Awwww babes!

I don't have a favorite font face I am very particular about the fonts I use though. Must beb correct in the use case.

That's what i said too :)

Lol

So you do not know why i mentioned gummy bears this evening

I have no idea what you're going at, no

Aww sads.

They are cannabinabears

Ooh

Ok how are they?

They're great

Splendid!

I felt the first twirls after approx 20 minutes and 5 seconds

And was happier at 28,20

Yay!

I have not stood up yet lol

Do it slowly lol

If you even bother to try lol

Lol well i am on the floor and cold, so....

Cuddle time!!!

Yeah well im here

Sigh

Are you wearing clothes?

Kinda

🥹

Better dial 97

Huh?

Aruba

Pronounced Aruuuuuuuuba

An hour and 9 minutes

So 69 then

How perfect

Omg lol

That's full swirl thus far

So did you imply I know the cook?

Swirl girl

Yes

I would love for you to be all over me rn

I would love that too

Focus!

Ope sorry!

It's okay 🙂

So who is our cook?

Captain Cook!

How long have I known this person?

She's worked at AF for more than 5 years, less than 8

Hmm

Tricky

You can ask for as many clues as you need

What dept

Service center

You were talking about some one a couple weeks ago. I wonder

Yep

I managed to stand

Something must be not great with me though because I'm not relaxed

Oh?

Yes

Are you... Not relaxed for a reason?

I dont know. Nothing particularly new

So this person

Mmhm

Cottage industry is it?

Yes

I am ow

2024-11-27T07:26:38

Haiiieeedd

null

null

null

null

null

null

null

null

2024-11-27T09:37:27

null

Hiee

Eya

Wells?

What am I looking at?

Foods

But i was also asking about your day and stuff

And i maybe have cool "news"

Ooh what news have you?

I'm good, so far!

The H4H is supposed to be 10 - 40% off the whole store Saturday

Sweet!

I do kind of know all the places ad all the sales for this blavk weekend lol

Well that makes sense

😊

We should do that Saturday!

Yay!

And what to do today then

Idk we'll figure it out

Idk

Lol

Sure sure

Did you have anything in particular in mind? An item, an adventure? I kind of have an idea maybe

Not off the top of my head, but I'm still working on coffee lol

Lol fair

Let me know when you're ready for survey questions :)

Lol ok

Ambiguous.... just say You're ready when you are lol

It is okay to just not go anywhere

If we go somewhere, i will meet you in frandor first

Just how it's gotta be today

Also.... i have something i could use your thoughts on. It's a long read

Cool, cool

Im heading to frandor mid to later afternoon if youd like to join

Ok lmk and I will scoot up there if I can!

2024-11-27T14:44:43

Im chilling around frandor now, just in case you show up and see a late 30s gal with ridiculous things

Hehe

What are you up to? 🙂

I was playing with the aquarium but I kicked up something and my allergies are wreaking havoc on me rn

Aw, I'm sorry

2024-11-27T17:17:28

:(

Sorry I've been on the struggle bus for a bit

I'm just now getting on top of this

What happened?

I've been sneezing for like 3 hours and getting a little short of breath

I stirred up something nasty in old hydro equipment and wasn't being careful, so autoimmune system to the scene to make sure there are no survivors

I'm coming around now after meds administered

More info please

Albuterol plus two of these

null

And eye drops administered just now

So no emergency services

No not that bad

Not close really but now my nose is sore again :(

I'm sorry

Tank yub

2024-11-27T20:10:24

Are you still out and about?

No

I came home just after 1700

Right on

What is your thanksgiving ritual?

Extend fam?

Have afternoon meal with my mother

Nothing ever super set in stone

Used to have more/the same tradition every year but that's been a long time

I do not have fam that extends, nor does he, and i will still never have my inlaws as part of my life

You?

Any more the lads come here and usually make dinner. And they are good cooks, and zero complaints honestly. We used to alternate between my parents in GR and my aunt's in Kzoo, but my rents moved to Tucson a few years ago and, well, you've already heard about their opinions of my aunt

Sorry I missed you today

I was really uncomfortable for a bit

Thanks

I had no idea

Are you still better?

I hope so

I am doing better yes ty

How was your outing?

Fine

Kind of a weird day

Still have to do the hard thing

I did not sleep last night. Finally got an hour or 2 just now

Porr baby!

Will you say what the hard thing is

Or bo

Or yo

Or oh

Or moe

Or toe

For?

Doe?

Maybe. Not feeling cute about it right now though

Ok alright

Sorry

It's okay

You have quite the corundum

??

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Corundum

Fucking hard innit

What's a good way to not be congested

Steam

This is why I'm a mouth breather

And my throat gets sore

All my life

Well I'm being a bit dramatic

Allergies

You know immune conundra

Can you get vaccine or no

What

Is

The

Capital of Assyria?

Ninevah

I think

Lol Nunya

Hilarious thread in r/tragedeigh today

https://www.reddit.com/r/tragedeigh/s/5HEFtZrmOf

Je m'appele Andeigh

I'm trying to decide if I want a clock in my subterranean areas. I kinda ditched timekeeping as a monotasker many years ago, but for some reason I keep looking for a clock down here

Analog or digial?

Afk 20

Maybe hold off on texts

null

Am back

O hai

What's up?

null

null

Is this your living room

Was in my basement not too long ago today

Oic

Umm

The cat

I do not yet recognize the orangeos on sight

Is this Percival

It is!

But that is his mid name

Perseus

Percy is plump

Yay!

How do you most often address him?

And how many names has he?

Heh, I think Rama has 40 or 50

At one point I made an org chart of pet names lol

Percibaby

Per -sah - bay - bee

Love it

😊

I have heard you call him so! Very cute!

Thanks!

You'd be so proud - i went mini krogering today

Maybe you saw RLH there

Tell me if mini K!

Cupcakes, yiny veg tray, appleslices, canberry

Was after 5 below

Yay!

What did rlh get?

8 full paper bags o goods

I carried all of mine in literally one arm

About 1:1:1:1
Canned beans and soups
Fresh veg
Frozen lasagna and Mac cheese
Et cetera

Oh I carried all hers in 6 trips to car! Lol

I'm not really complaining

I carried everything from 5 below, 3 posters, a tube of wrapping paper, and all my kroger goods in my reusable bags to panera where i got out a file folder to do some work l9l

Wtg girlfriend!

Always always always self sufficient

Gosh

My mouth sure is wet

You never told me who is the gummy hook up

Hahaha

Guess more

And why is your mouth so wet?

I tell you I will not recall this person. I have wrong mental image and idk many people in that particular cesspool

I had been stuffing face with uckfay hot crisps

Nopenopenopenope

But

She's a baker, service center, one of very few actual friends i have at AFG
...

See I think you'd like it

Sorry those clues don't help me

Idk people

And you told me name once but I do not remember it

You think id like what? Hot crisps?

Katie Rockafellow

Never heard of this person actually

She is good friend for you?

I dont actually have good friends

But she is one, yes

Has convinced me to go to hospital more than once

Was the dessert person for wedding too

She is our second Shiloh

But but but

Shiloh
Was kind of a challenge

What do you mean?

Idk I've only met Shiloh a couple times, but she always struck me as a strange one

Yeah

We kind of all are lol

She's been there longer than you, yknow

Yes I know

So your sweetie supplier Katie

Yes?

Is she selling?

Mayhaps

Whatcha want?

What would you recommend?

I have no idea

OG it is

She makes these?

She makes gummies as a hobby on occasion for friends who sometimes give her cash

Got it

Ashley Pyle, gal I worked with for many years, used to make toffee at this time of year.

The. Bomb.

Specially herbed toffee? Because i make homemade heath bars and have also made soft and chewy honey caramels

And plenty else. All normal though

She offered all manner of chocolates and nuts to dress it up. Peppermint was also an option. Probably more I don't remember!

Yes. Same. And more! Lol

My first AF Christmas i made 8 different mass batches of cookies and brought them in in very large shopping bags lol

And every year there's been a cookie decorating contest that ive been there, ive won :)

Did stained glass window sugar cookies last year

Yay!

Have you plans, ideas, musings, etc for friday & saturday?

Musings and daydreams

Yes

I'd love to burrow deep into you for a while

Wrll fuck that's sexy

Feel your skin on my skin

Id love that

Cover you in wet

Smell sin oil as you rub me up and down too

Ohh yesss

That

I need to feel you
In my arms
On my face
All around meeee

Is that ok

Absolutely

Yummy!

So I got a subscription to nice porn

I mean good

Ohhhhh?

Erika Lust is the name

Female produced

Please tell me more about porn

Everything

You are funny :). A

Where should I start?

How long does a session/video/act or whatever it's called last?

That's kind of like asking "how long is a story?"

But I'd say a decent average for well-done production is 20-30 minutes

So kinda bite sized lol

Maybe you fancy two bites

Or three

Or something quick?

Amateurs be more like 5-15

Very generalized

What are your favorite tropes? Any ideas why?

Maybe I will come back to tropes momentarily

But

This sub has provided legit romantic content, which is hard to come by

Yeah,

?

What lol

Romance.... what does it mean? Legot2

*legitimately

Lego romance

What are you on aboot lol

What is romance?

Lovey dovey fucking

It's actually quite good

I need this please

Irl

May I ask why you think so?

Why wouldnt i?

I just wanted your take

You deserve it

Thank you

That's part of my thought actually

Yay!

And because i know i have a void where I've craved it for a very long, long timw

Ohhhh sweet baby!

Ofc you deserve it

https://open.spotify.com/track/20qKKnW5t3grGDiLqk0fGh?si=OXlWpETTQtablEmY3ELCmA

Hearing you say that makes me feel kind of sparkly bubble tingly in my chest

Mmmm

I am glad to know this!

It's what i realllllllllly want you to show me

I want to hold you up and show everyone what an awesome person you are :)

And I want to show you what you mean to me

That seems strange to me

But thank you

So do you want to share and show me the lovey dovey? You dont have to by any means

I cannot share unless I'm there. This one is strict about access

I meant in a mutual act, just us

Oh I would love nothing more!

I'll keep asking :)

Yes, do

Next time

That's what i want, if i get a say, please

You always get a day babe :)

And a say

Yes, but i am not the only say

I love desire on your face

It's very sexy

I wasnt aware youd seen it yet

In all it's forms

Noticed, at least

It has forms? Like what?

I've seen it alright

It's very seductive

And beautiful

Thank you

I actually know how to turn it on more if i need

Feel free to pour it all over me

Ditto

Ok :)

I like when you talk to/with me

Oh yay!

I did not do this much before!

But I find myself wanting to

I want you to

Mmmm

I wish I could cuddle with you bow

How

Wow

Pow

Let's get it all out kol

Kow

Mow

Heeheeee

Lol

If i say i wanted harder or that I'm close, what would you do? In response

I would try!

More for you

But do you know what specific actions you would do?

Not without you were underneath me rn

Do you want the answer?

Which answer darlin

What to do if i say i want harder

Same for if I'm close

You can say or do anything that pleases you babe!

I just want to point out (advice ive heard) that harder does not also mean faster

And if I'm close then youre probably doing something perfect so dont change too much unless i ask

Excellent information!

And makes sense

I like it when harder is more like deeper and more thorough

Feeling every fucking mm

Yesssssss

And sometimes harder is actually harder

You have not felt me all the way

There's like a whole nother episode lol

Jeeeeeesus i want that

I want you to have it

It's

Lol..

Fucking amazing?

Yep used those words already

But there's not really a way for you to know that with me yet

I am certain you will like it

But that's my masculinity talking

I meant for YOU

Ohhhhhh no worries

Sweet lil bebe

Do you think it'll feel different for you?

This is the tight kitty dreams are made of

So yes?

Yes

Yesssss

And may I have more please

That's entirely up to you lol

Well I am playfully suggesting it should happen more often

And i am playfully telling you yessssssssss

Where!

O
M
G

I try to say whee.

And instead where

So I am a slut

Lol same

Haha!

I can't wait to stay up all night and get high and fuck you silly

Yeah?? When is this?

Need to schedule this stat

Friday night

Or saturday

Ooooo

Do itttttttt

:P

Do you mind if sometimes I just want to bask in your yumminess

You do you, babe

Yeah but this involves a captive you too lol

Oh for real?

Yes I mean this quite literally

I do not understand

What do you wish to do?

Be in bed with you.all.day.and.night.

I would love to do thar

Yay!

Lol 420

And you are....?

Uh
69?

I'm tits up for sure lol

I've got two cats staring me down

Wtf

Tits up??

null

Lol

Isn't tits up idiomatic

You said it!

Does it mean cold?

Face to ceiling?

You tell me

Come on
Ligualist

https://english.stackexchange.com/questions/227589/what-is-origin-of-the-phrase-tits-up

Ohh lol

Lol how are you doing

null

I am mostly ok

Will head upstairs in a sec

null

Yep gotta go up. And stairs now

Make it?

I did!
You?

Oops forgot lol

2 flights I did!

Congrats!

Break out the colorful pointy hats!

2024-11-28T10:05:50

null

2024-11-28T13:19:09

:)

2024-11-28T16:52:35

How's it going?

Not bad, except I just cut my finger for the second time this week with the same scissors lol

I guess it's time for new snips!

I'm ok these are new, and pretty sharp as it turns out lol

But it's fine

How are you doing?

2024-11-28T19:59:32

It was a pretty good day. Just got home

You?

And i have more questions please

Just finished eating. Pretty good plate!

How's my baby?

Pretty good

Whay was on your plate? What did today's activities include?

I just kept out of the way and played with fish tank

The guys made stuffing, green beans casserole from fresh ingredients, mushroom gravy, fr mashed potatoes, and brought a couple veggie loaf thingies. We also found some rolls in the freezer and cranberry sauce on the shelf

And Mac and cheese casserole

And there's a peach pie

Hey Zeus

Failed reference

Jesus

Good, happy Disney Zeus or not so great or agreeable leda and the swan zeus?

Happy Disney kind

Yes. Ironically both have legends atop veryyyy apexable .mountains

Apexable, you say

Pretty easily cl8mbed to the top, yes

Right on m8

Lolz

Herbally infused yet?

Just a nib

I need to repack :)

How do you know if you're high enough?

How would i know if i was?

I guess you just know?

Ummmm

Yep

Someone in the back of your brain informs someone in the front of your brain

But how would i know?

Sorry I don't know

That's okay

Do you have anything at the forefront of your mind you'd like to focus on for chatting?

No

Are you upset?

No not a bit

Do I seem it?

No, it's a little reflexive of me

Subtle language or wnergy changes are really easily identified in my brain

Oh wild!

I'm a little groggy tbh

Not used to eating this early

Or this much

I ate once today lol

Many, many hours ago

What did you and your mom have?

L was there too

Sides lol

"Stuffing"

Hasselbeck sweet potatoes

Hawaiian rolls

Canberry

Cheesy cruciferous veg

Corn pudding

Idk what else. Turkey was present

Cucumbers in sour cream

Alrighty then!

Did you say you had questions for me?

I do

None from you for me?

Did L's plans change?

Nope

Gotcha. For some reason I thought he was with his fam

Ah yes

Will be qhen he leaves tomorrow

Do you know what your plans are tomorrow and Saturday? Perhaps even sunday?

Might meet Patrick around 11 iff I can jump ship before anyone else is motivated to do anything.

But I think you said hab has a sale yeah?

Let me check if it's tomorrow or Saturday

Saturday

They're open 10 - 3

Lansing, wmstn, and st john

Cool ty!

https://www.habitatcr.org/restore/

Scroll to yellowish area

Oh snap that's a great deal!

I know!

Well idk tomorrow then

I can be patrick

Heh!

You have some things in common

Oh?

Fun taste in music, great sense of humor, And the ability to sense bs

Interesting common combo

I didnt know you thought i could sense bs

In your case I see it as a well-developed defense feature

Earlier tonight might be considered an example lol

Ha!

100% honest

What ideas have you?

For?

F/S/S

I will prob shop for some of it/them

More house tidying and cleaning

I would love to spend clossssssse time with you

Mee too with you

From your pov what are ideal times?

Tomorrow afternoon and beyond

Woo!

Wow I wish I could stay the night

Me too

A lot

Haha I'm sitting here daydreaming about it

I really want to try some of that slow lovey dovey romance sex

Well hooray!

You knew this

Sounds like fun to me!

I did know, yes. It's fun that you brought it up though!

Why?

I like to hear about how you would like sex

Ohhh fuck

You saying that was really arousing for some reason

I want sex every way there is

Oh how yummy!

And I didn't even say it in person

Please please please

Tell me allllllllll the things

Always

You were saying lovey dovey kind

So I was thinking about spooning with you

Naked ofc

Ohhh

Yes please

Bc I can have your neck

And shoulders

And breasts

Yws

You can have all of me

And tummy

I can have everything

It's wonderful

And it is a powerful turn on at times

I want you to have all of me because I'm giving in to you and how you make me feel

Yay!

And eventually all the love and dove takes over and we intertwine and after, i cry beautifully erupted tears

Aww!

And I will be there to dry them for you

So

Yeah?!

Any idea when L departs?

Before noon sometime

I will let you know as soon as he does

Well alright then!

You think you can?

There's a decent chance yep!

When would be the best time(s)?

I'm going to estimate leaving here no later than noon

Any reason?

Trying to appear normal while being too early to latch on to

Understandable

When would you need to be home?

1700-1800 prob

Okay, thanks

Agenda?

Tell me more sex youd want. Not just tomorrow

I'm sorry babe I'm fading out

You're good babe

I want you

Every way

You can have me

I can't wait!

Goodnight

Kisses

2024-11-29T08:21:35

null

Lol hieeee!

How are ya?

Missing you!

Soooooooonnnn

I hope??

Mee too!!!

Did you want to stay in the whole time or venture out or....?

Idk, time seems to go by so quickly!

There are a couple things I could be going out to get lol

2024-11-29T11:11:52

How's it going?

Helloooo!

Hey! Sorry, wayla8d later than expected

What's up?

Will update in a sex

Lol oops

Haha!

SOMEONE is taking forever

I am so sorry!

I know VOA has a sale today if you need a fr destination temporary

Lol

Have you any thoughts while i am uncertainly time delayed?

I'm finding food lol

Left the house without eating

Oh no babes!

Any way you can come stay lots of time tomorrow or tomorrow night? Pretendacitis maybe?

I don't think there's a way I could over night :(

Much as I want it!

Would it be better if we meet up tomorrow?

Uncanny

I literally just heard the "slight change of plans" that he is going to work OT today and go up this evening

Unamused here

Ffs!

I'm lol at him

Dude

I can't even go shopping

Work OT today?

Yep

He is

Is that even a thing on paid holidays?

Yes

Double time

Ok well I can probably earn back suspicion points if I head home. My alibi should work tomorrow

I am very very sorry

This is way beyond my control

Or desire

I understand babe! Not the first time we've been so foiled

Yeah

By either unfun party, lol

PS I'm under the flag rn

Hieeeee!

Lol

Heyyyyyyyy

Ok ttys

Okay

😟

Poor baby I'm sorry!

2024-11-29T14:18:54

How's it going?

The goon squad just left

I'm feeling like a nap lol

Same

2024-11-29T17:35:51

null

Aww kitters!

How was nap?

Short but effective! Did you?

Yes!

Woke up with a headache but overall much better

What are you up to now?

I'm trying out a new to me Linux distro

on a recommendation from ChatGPT

And talking-to actual cats

How are you doing?? 💕

Pretty well thanks!

Thinking of how tomorrow will/should go. Just trying to plan what i can

Et toi?

I am hoping for a good tomorrow as well!

Well yes lol

What does your tomorrow's agenda look like for now? Any times?

I will aim for same or slightly earlier. RLH is a wildcard at this point. She's in a wanna-go mode with a few things. What she actually wants to do before 1500 is another question

I don't think she was aware I left the house today.

Awww

Lol

And she's making plans for furniture. I had to moderate a bit.

Howso?

need to replace the couch. No question this is so, but her findings don't fit in the space.

Physically

With other things around

Which are not my problem to solve lol

Anyhoo

Riiiighr

How's your evening

Just now alone lol

Got it got it.

How was your gummy experience??

I don't think I heard the full report

Kinda boring tbh

It was also mid awake for 48ish hours so idk

I was in a lot of pain still but at least happy

Goodness me

That's a long time to be conscious

What pain is doing this?

Chronic. Widespread. Mostly back and head

Have we talked about OMM?

Osteopathic Manipulative Medicine

What is the origin of your pain?

Lots of things?

I know about one specific back injury. Can you say more?

Fibromyalgia and chronic pain syndrome diagnoses

Mental and emotional load that carries into my physical wellbeing

Surgeries and other fractures all over

Osteoporosis

Maybe other stuff i cant think of

Owie this is so much!

Um yes

Most of it since before i was out of my teen years

Jesus my head hurts rn

Ohh what helps it?

Idk yet

Can you tell me how your ideal tomorrow would go? Ideal and also attainable lol

As a single story with both attributes?

Or as two stories?

As two stories:

L departs by 1000. I get up at 0900, prep and leave at 1000. Party until 1700

L who lives here?

Lofl yes that one

He is gone

Well fuck me and call me silly

Ill do half

Yummy do I get to choose?

Ok the deal is I'm trying to read the room. Idk what kind disappear I can do tomorrow, and may not know until then

Only if you make the right choice

That's fair, thank yoh

See RLH is slightly energetic. Her kids were here, and she's on the up-side of those spinal injections.

Idk how much energy there really is though

It is lower every time it seems

Ok got it

Any q let me know

Knowing times and things helps me decide if i go somewhere or not, that's all

Your IM is very important to me

What q are there from you?

My IM?

Thank you for texting me

I'm out of my head lol nvm

I was badly imitating an email auto reply

Yeah sorry I'm on track now

Gotcha

Are you on track though? Feel like you may be up in clouds lol

null

Awwwww

I am on track

Yeah Bala is a looooooover

Takes adter his daddy, i see

Lol yes

All of us are actually softies

Except, ironically, Bala.

While much aligned, he is in fact the tough guy

But you have to make yourself his mortal enemy before his true self-preservation nature emerges

This is why I love cats

Lol

Lol indeed

I want some damn cuddles

I wanna give em!!!
All the cuddles are for you

How do you like your cuddles? Face to face or spooning?

I dont know that i know

Probably spooning

Or one sideways and one flat

You?

Spooning

Are you the big spoon or the little spoon?

Little spoon
Can I kiss your neck or no?

No???

Ohhhhh yessssss

Please

Oh

Hahah

I want to!!!

So much so

And
Your ear

And your face

Please come get me and show me all of this

And I like the cuddle fusion of girl __ boy |

I want you and all of that so much i could cry

So much tit grabbing potential here

I love it

That's probably my fave cuddle way

Yay!

I love it!

Legit

Or if its reverse, my leg hyperstretched and strung, bent up on you

Ooooo

That is so delicious

Did you or not ever getting fucked on your side?

Spooning, like

From behind

Ive never been fucked that way, except almost with you

Oh girl

I think we are the right proportions to do this par excellence

Me, wrapped around you

Quite literally

And also inside you

Whoaaaaaaaaa

Ohh I'm melting

I want you so, so much

I am all fidgety now bc I want to play with myself

You can....

Im actually not fidgety

Thinking about this makes me slow down and a little calmer

That sounds like a good thing!

Yes, it is

You know that's one reason i want and like you in charge, right?

Not sure I understand the connection

Knowing what you want and your expectations and being able to trust you lets me shut down my brain. Then i can imagine really good things and i dont worry about decisions at all. I dont have to think

When you come over (ever) do you pre-think of how you want to fuck? Positions and that kind of thing. Generic ideas, even

Honestly no

I take you as I find you

There are no wrong answers

If you think you can unmake me want to be near you it won't work

Lol

I have tried

I was just curious if there was any kind of gameplay in your mind en avance

Like "damn i hope we go sideways " or "neck to shoulder, follow down to the kitty cafe, think of ice cream, 3 or 4 times for her, then when she's a pile of mush I'll just watch her twitch and lol"

See previous answer lol

Seriously though

I will say something if I have such a deaire

Desire

I want to make sure I understand you and your body first

That's just my way

I cannot express how much i lovvvvvvvved when you hovered over me and said "can i fuck you?" So softly and seriously

Ohhh babe

It was an insane relaxable moment for me

Now I am melting

Does it make sense that i think of how i want things to play out? Not expect them to, but in my own universe

Or is that creepy?

It's fine! It's not creepy. As long as you don't project into some weird non universe.

How would we even know?

I was not clear in my last statement

But I'm not totally sure how to explain

I will try

My response was jocular

Lol

Well

It's a bit of a trigger moment for me, but not because you said that

Please explain

Whatever words you need

Blunt actually helps

If you ever feel you need to describe me as not on your side, I will be really hurt. That's it

As in, if i think you'll be #9 or something else?

What made this a trigger, in broad terms and specifically?

Broadly:

This

And I was projecting much more than you could know into this

And hit a nerve I kinda lost track of

Because I've been trying to shut it down

I ve been in these arguments where somehow I am person that isn't actually there

And wants to do all bad things and ruin lives

And while I agree I have made poor decisions

I don't have this malice

And yet I get told I do

And I simply can't deal with that

I think that's all, nbd lol

Okay, i understand better. Thank you

To be clear, when have i made you feel this way?

*please

You have not, ever

I just kinda spiraled on a thought

But I never have associated this thought to you

And this wAs something I wanted you to know

I am ready if you are

Lol babe I already said it

Eant

Lol wut

Okay, thank you

Sorry lol! I was trying to explain how we got here

And being stoned took me deeeeeeeeeper

Are you open to a lot of questions (when you've finished your thoughts)?

I am ready! I got my thing out there, if you know what I mean

Yes

Can i ask about rlh?

Sure

Do you know what she was like before you?

A bit yeah

Her ex's latest victim

And it's complicated bc ofc it always is

Shared faith

And child/ren

And probably all the trappings of being young and on your own

Her dad was a dick

Her mom is a lovely woman, but didn't stand up

Her mom was literally a migrant farm worker in MI and elaewhere

Her family lived on land leased by farmers

Anyhoo

RLH graduated HS and said fuck y'all I am outta here and found this guy

Charlevoix, FL ,Ca,

And somehow EL which is where my came in

Repeat the last one?

Where ________ came in?

Lol sorry the penultimate hop was either Petoskey or East Jordan, then to East Lansing, which is where I came on the scene

This was just the one same guy?

Yes, the ex all through that. He was constantly running from debt

Literally

Changing names

Using ssns

The whole bit

He's a freak

Wild

Where did she meet him?

Let me think on that for a moment, I'm sure I've heard it

It might actually have been a hare Krsna place

But idk

Okay thanks

She was still how much with him when you met?

Omg

He literally lived in her trailer, with her and two young boys, and their friend Michael

Just came down from Petoskey or whatever

Lololololll

So go ahead and ask me about my sensibility

Go ahead

Lol

Dude

I hit on you in an office where 75% of our spousedom works and then we fucked the first time the same week of our anniversaries, about 4 miles from where i live

I know yoyr sensibility, lol

Oh babe halp me!!

Gladly!

I may have found some pics of me in compromising positions just now

I have them featuring just me or me + part of someone else

Your choice to see or not

Wow nice!

Let's start with solo

null

null

My god you look so delicious

Haha, thanks

Is that the end of that set?

I was so hard for you yesterday. When I woke up early, and again later.

Those are the solo for now, sadly

Np thank you!

Still willing to share others?

Yes, if you're positive you want them

Maybe it will inspire me?

Unlikely lol

null

null

null

null

Such a pretty baby

Thank you

Do you have any good, bad, or indifferent interps?

Interpretations?

Yes

I know I'm not your first

Correct... i dont understand the question

Ok no worries

Simpler wording please?

I do hope you understand that I want you, and that includes your sexy body, and everything in it. The whole package.

I try to understand that

Does that mean you're sad im not more untarnished?

No !

You look sexy getting fucked

I want you to have the same style pics

And more

I'd like something more than just a pussy pic though

You can have it

We *have* to watch this porn together

Lovey dovey porn lol

I hope maybe in less than 12ish hours

Be still my heart! 💞💞💞

Still think it's possible?

Yes, but too early to know well

Sneak over at like 5am instead

Side note that i would always rather know sooner than later if you cannot do something

Makes sense ofc

And if you can only do something platonic, that's also totally fine

I know youd thought about h4h for example. And the place down the road is also all on sale

I really do have hobbies beyond shopping

All good babe

Thoughts about your hand atop and fingers inside me at the same time?

Sounds like a great way to say hello

I would love to try it out

Before I stuff fingers in you and lick your clit at the same time

That's.... intense. And fantastic

I'm moving in, hope you don't mind

And I'm pretty sure i like you sucking my clit on occasion

Yes

I have room underneath stuff. Totes fine

And your pussy

Needs tending to as well

As does your cock

It is hugely appreciative

Are you aware of something you didnt do that surpises me because i dont think i explicitly spelled it out? When i give you head

I could only guessed

You dont push or pull or do anything aggregious with my cranium

That was going to be My guess

Tell me why please

I ain't that guy

Give me as much as you want

You seem to enjoy it

And I love it

Literally every guy is that guy

Not even maliciously, just in the moment and feeling it all can make you do it, no?

I don't know

Lol nice 00:00 comment

From meeee

Lol

More questions?

Go for it!

It's a doozy

Give it to me

Who asked whom on your first rlh date? Walk.me through it alll, imcluding the date

And the next question is going to be predictable too lol

She tells this to anyone who listen

Shall I proceed?

Yes!

I was a phlebotomist at a plasma center

She lived literally across the street

In a trailer park

Yes, that one

So I noticed her one day in December, not too long after I started

And I was getting to know my coworkers

Randy and Mark, a couple

Sara and Ally, a couple

Suze, a weirdo

And so on

And all these cats knew each other in ways I never really knew, but they were cook

Cool

Lol

Someone day RLH is in there getting milk and diapers money

And she and I had made eyes the week before

And Randy was setting her up

And small talk ensued, and Randy learned she wanted to ask me out, so he facilitated the encounter by asking me to come over and do this request

Request, as in request your phlebotomist

And he was super coy about it, not tipping me off

And she asked me to coffee

And I raced to accept

And we went to coffee that evening

And there you are

Thank you

And so the next question i would ask?

You know me, lol. This should be predictable & easy

When

Did

We

Hook up?

When, where, how, every detail plz

I'm a curious sort lol

Well first

I didn't get in touch after our first date, which I think was a Friday

She came in again the next Monday or Tuesday and pointed out I didn't call

Mind you, this is 1989

Right

Why didnt you?

Oooooops

I actually said that all wrong

I guess this is kind of a telling moment, but I don't know the significance yet

Did you just not know it was "expected"?

What actually happened

*I* said "you didn't call me"

Ohhhh

Then?

Lol right

I overcame my insecurities and put her in the spot

She said she thought she was supposed to play hard to get. We were both being facetious

Soon there was a snowstorm

Idk I think it was just after nyd, and my car door was not working properly, so I walked to her place in the snowstorn

It was about 1 mile maybe,? Maybe not quite

And from that day , I have been

Here

Mmhmm

More details please

The dirty kind

I was super awkward

I mean really

I had a total shutdown one night. Like we were getting intimate and all of a sudden I was terrified

I remember that so well

It was really odd

I don't remember the first time we slept together

Sorry

No that's fine

It was nothing special

I'm sorry

And that seems weird

No worries

I was just 21

Like only just

Yes. And she was your 3rd

2nd, depending on what you are counting

Did you get physically intimate before you actually fucked? On a differeht day

Oh fuck. I knew that, sorry

I don't think so, but I don't remember super clearly

So you'd done other sexy things with people between hsgf and rlh? How did i not know this??

Not super duper?

Lol

So Laura, the hippie

Right

Summer 1989

Right

Yep

Brighton

We had a couple fun nights

Hey i was there, too!

Yes!

Well we were upstate

First time was camping in my old time fave place, with a few friends actually, and Laure

Laura

And I think I slept a whole night on her boobs

Which were truly massive

Not DDD

No

Think G

J

Something like that

Crazy big

Wowswww

Yeah lol

And that's literally all that happened there

But I absolutely loved it

And one day in Mt pleasant, in one of her couch surfing spots, we spent a long afternoon in a twin bed, and I basically masturbated both of of us with our clothes on lol

Guess who had wet panties lol

Both lol

Except she was not quite into it the same way

This time yeah, and it was fun

But never again

And I spooged all over myself

And wore it home lol

Think about that!

But I was so naive then

I had no idea what I was doing

I hated life, and nothing was satisfying

I can't believe we are allowed to be 21 and feel that way

I just wanted a girl to call my own

Yes

Not to be "thay person" but i was the same way when i was 10. Very unfair

Yeah

Sorry 🙇‍♀️

No, no need lol

I'm so over it

I miss Laura still, but I don't know what I would say to her

Hey, why didnt we fuck?

Right?

So she was a singer, I think I mentioned this

And she had a little band in Mt pleasant

And they had this song

A is for apple
B is for bud
C is for cocaine and
D is for drug
E is for erection
F is for fuck
G is for g spot, and you're out of luck!

No shit

But she wasnt really "nasty", just trying to be shocking

I get that

It was cute, but I wanted to know where it came fron

And I didn't get the chanc to find out

And you know, maybe get kaud

Laid lol

Lol

Anyway

I hope I answered your question

Yes thank you

I asked before but forgot

First time you received any oral?

Lhsgf
It did not happen often
Idk the first time exactly

Did you know I drove by a couple times today?

I saw you and L in the garage

Oh ffs

I looked like garbage but interesting

You now know what he looks like

What time was this?

It was pretty quick and I did not see much honestly. But confirmed his appearance. It was just before I said something about lunch, idk, 1200 ish?

That checks out

Confirmed his appearance, eh?

I recognized him from hub photo. It was a lucky positioning tbh

I sat at the end of the block for 10 minutes maybe

I didnt think you hubbed him

Sir, is this the start of stalking behavior? Lol

Hey I hub who I like lol

Yes

No

Maybe dont hub me

At this point, I was expecting to see a little blue Toyota drive away from me

But then you had updated information

I can't not hub you

Which sadly kept buffering with an err 404

My hub suuuuuuucks

You are literally the teams pic girl of the fucking millennium

More words

I see your avatar

Can't help it

It's your hub photo

For the love of sweet baby thir please tell me i look better irl

Thor

And hia bro loki

All the norse god babes

I love your countenance irl
And your pic is cute too 😍

NO

Bettwr. In. Real. Life.

I photograph terribly

And weighed a lot more then

And had zero confidence

In your opinion, can you think of a "dirtiest" (or most taboo) sexual anything you've done?

Well hold on a sec

I just saw some photographs of you that were hot af

Meh

But I understand

I just found my favorite leggings

Perfect night for them

Exciting! I hope I'll see them

On your way over yet?

Fml

I wish!

Step softly and carry a big sword

Lol

I'm working on it

null

Tights!

null

Ohhhhh

Well they arent leggings

Maybe thigh high tights

Too distracted by slutty panties

Are thise inside out?

null

The panties

Oh!

No they were just flipped

See?

null

Nope

Need to inspect

Irl

null

Real life or nada

null

YES

How I wish you were with me rn

Your soaking wet pussy all over my face

Weird, because i was hoping your face would be all.over me making my pussy wet

Wild!

I am so ready to fuck your pretty pussy

Sure, obviously i want to take all of you and more than ever before

But i want sex too

And love making

I have all of that as well

What do you think about slowly sliding rock hard you allllllll the way in, then pushing against me just a bit more to take my breath away and staying in that form until i come back down to reality?

I think I nearly came just reading that!

Because I was just imagining being rock hard, sliding in, as we are face to face

Watching your eyes

Watching your mouth

As I slide all the way in

And then pulling out almost all the way

Then move my hips just slightly so you have those few extra millimeters to go more

Yesssss

And going into you again

Feeling every ridge along my edges

I want to feel every moment

Me too

Yes each and every bit

Exactly

I love feeling how you change

When you are stimulates

And sometimes you open up

And sometimes you squeeze hard

It's intense

But that seems like it would be negative for you, opening up

And so good

Not really

It's like your asking me to come in deeper

Very much

Do other girls do this?

I've never experienced it like this

I hope you know i control very little of it

I understand, it's no problem

It's you

You do the work to get how i am

Make sense?

It does

It's one of the biggest commedations i can give

Aww! I just like to live on you

Love on you too

Thank you

I wish i could get you off

You have! And will again

I want to do it over and over and over for you

Aww!

I want to do the same for you

I have one question and one point of information

You realllllly already do

And another point of info lol

Ok! What you got?

Remember that sin oil you have?

Wait which one is sin oil?

The one you drizzled all over my back the first time

Ok yes!

Is it possible to use that beforehand or will i get injured if it gets inside me?

It is safe

It's hemp oil, non toxic

It's a silly realistic fantasy of mine to be massaged into sex sometime. Total relaxation and stuff

Sounds great

Excellent pairing

Hsve you?

Yes I suppose so, which is to say having good time massaging, and good time with sex

Not like in the pornos, but fun

No reference poijt for me lol

Massage porn is pretty good IMO.

Sensual

Usually slower

Usually starts with serious touching

Yes, that's what i want

It's fun!

I want your hands all over me. Full hands, fingertips, palms, arms, your whole body, your chest, your hips, all of it. Im not dainty so dont worry about too hard or too feep or too much preasure

I want it allllll

2024-11-30T07:33:46

null

2024-11-30T08:36:48

Yesss!

How are you?

Pretty good I think
Not exactly awake yet ool

Lol

Any word from rlh?

Sleeping

Mmhmm

Am i correct that we do not have set plan times for now?

Yes

Okay thanks!

Would you be upset if i ventured out?

No babe!

Maybe I can come and find you layery

Maybe you can clean off the bed for me too lol

null

And cat excavate

null

Heh! Looks like you need some caution tape!

Psht

There are 3 very neatly folded tshirt piles

I see that!

Very nice!

Lol thx

You in search of anything while I'm out?

Can't think of anything rn

Okays

2024-11-30T11:09:29

null

What you up to?

One guess

Shopping!

Yesssss!

Lol

Joining me?

Whee!!

Not sure yet--will advise soon!

Haha okay 👍

Can i interest you in some vintage sci fi magazines??

null

Camera bag?

Zoom lens things for real film cameras?

Wow lol cool but no ty

Aww sad

Garlic roasting dish?

Pray tell what is?

It's literally a dish you roast garlic in in the oven

null

Omg

null

Huh. Lol!

DECORATIVE glass bottle?

null

Yeeeah

Do you really want it? I would love to grab it for you!

No ooo

Well sad then

Did you need new kitchen chairs?

Maybe if I had a kitchen table lol

I have one you can have!

You need those for your things!

I have an extra lol

Haha

For real

What's going on there?

Not much, but I'm struggling to come up with a reason to leave that doesn't provoke the bear

Totally fine

Some other time :)

Sigh

I'm sorry

It's okay 🙂

You doing ok?

Just bummed

I know

Sorry babe

None of your friends need some help moving furniture real quick, followed by dinner and a drink?

If I did she'd wonder why she wasn't invited lol

Aha

Tomorrow at all?

Just so i know

Kinda doubtful.

No problem at all

You bringing me foods?

I have lots of mashed potatoes lol

I kind of hate mashed potatoes

But whatever hets you over here

Yeah I know

Dont you suddenly need aomething from ace or kroger?

The despot

Preuss

Skymint

Liquor in okemos

Liquor?

I hardly know her!

Lick me then

In Okemos?

Or EL

I dont care if you lick me on the moon

So no food either? Darn it all

null

null

null

Nice collection there!

You know what they are?

Besides signed Alton Brown posters?

You're correct!

And i have his signed cookbooks i think you knew that though

Yes! Very cool

I have a signed Anne Rice book

And Tom Hanks

Do you happen to have a corner shelf unit?

Ome you want me to have lol

I don't have a corner shelf. I actually have a pretty good spot for one, but I don't buy furniture for the house lol

But we were going to tosay, potentially

Lol

Was it so?

Yeah

I missed something

H4h

Oh, well stuff for me

I'd never hear the end of it if I came home with a shelf for the living room

It would be the wrong wiW the wrong color the wrong material the wrong brand

You came home.with a rolly stool once

For me, and it lives in my space

Yes

I got a fantastic book today

Yeah?

null

Hand for size

null

Dang it's a monster!

Very heavy

Example pages

null

Nice! I like making bagels

I made a batch of spiced fig bagels for my dad's birthday once

Kinda like Cinnamon raisin but "upscale" lol

Nice

What are you up to?

Watching YT DIY aquarium stuff!

Very cool

What are you doing Thursday?

Workin for a livin I reckon

O you mean my social calendar?

One sec

I'm clear that day

What you got?

Just trying to think of when i can see you

Maybe I have to call off lol

That'd be nice

Sadly i probably need to k ow beforehand

By when?

Monday-ish

This is ewport week for large accounts so i typically modufy my schedule to fit when needs to be done. I'd be off Thursday or Friday

Or maybe i could do 2 half days, idk

Cool cool I will look at work calendar soon and let you know

Okay cool thanks

If you could make a set weekend time work then maybe i could do that but not here

I need to do the hard thing and i am too inept

Did you tell me what the hard thing is or non?

I don't remember

Oh shit I have a gpt pic for this

One moment please

Lol I think you already saw it

Nvm sorry

Um okay

null

I am so tired

Ok you need a nap?

Just short one maybe

Then i do the hard thing

My tummy hurts :(

Sorry I had to change my dressing on my finger. Have a good nap sweetheart

2024-11-30T22:01:26

How's it going?

Not bad howdy do you ?

Did you nap?

null

2024-12-01T00:36:59

Apparently all i do is serially nap?? Lol

2024-12-01T07:38:08

Heyyya

null

null

null

2024-12-01T10:24:38

Lol looks cozy over there

It was!

How's it going for you?

I just got out of bed lol

What are you up to today?

Idk, probably nothing

Bummer

I have a few things for you, one "real" but silly one for Sadie's birthday lol. Do you know how i can get them to you?

I could swing by tomorrow morning if that helps

I have a Dr appt first thing tomorrow and I'm not working

Maybe? L will be here but i could leave it on yhe porch lol

Oh, that sounds risky

Agreed

I might see if i can wfh Tuesday but i think you work?

Yeah

Sorry babes

I feel like I'm failing you :(

No you're not failing me at all

:/ okay

No arkansas yet?

Not a mention

Weird

Have you been to metro retro or thrift witch (ever)?

I don't think so. Metro retro sounds familiar tho

They're both on Cesar Chavez

I'm debating whether i go or not

Where would i find a corner shelf around here? A freestanding unit

My first thought is the dicker & deal on Kalamazoo

I thought maybe there too

What are you going to put in your corner shelf?

Prob harry potter, it's going in the bedroom behind my settee

Ah nice

Accidentally procured you more shoeses lol

Lol accidentally

Wanna see them or not so much?

You can always say "thank you but i will politely decline"

:) lol I would like to see them!

null

null

Oh those are spiffy!

You think so?

I feel like I had a check version of these at some point

I think theyre awesome but theyre for your feet loo

Thanks for rescuing them!

:)

Thanks for letting me!

Lol you don't need my permission

Finding and gifting is very obviously my presenting love language

I am still a bit unsure of my receiving love language but i know they're mismatched, which is unusual

Aww

How do we find out more about your receiving?

Not sure yet. It's complicated. Obviously.

Yah

But can you tell me why?

That's a real question

Is there an easy way for me to take off like an inch and a half of 3/4 inch thick wood without a saw?

You could sand it but that will take a long time

Yeah no thanks

Lol

Are you familiar with The French Laundry?

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null

 ​😂​ to a photo 

French laundry in -- is it Holly? I've been there once

In California

World famous

Oh lol I don't know that one

2024-12-01T16:19:42

Doing ok there?

I guess. I'm just killing time until I can go to bed fr

Do you want to converse? Look up topics? Find recipes? Anything?

Idk what I want honestly. I am so depressed today

Wanna talk about it?

Kind of? But I don't know what to say

Just type whatever. No judgement and let me know how you want s response (just listening, fixing, agreeing, devil's advocate, etc)

Thank you. I really don't know how to start

Who is the outward party causing most of the distress? If it's equal, name them all

There's none. I just don't like being in my skin today, and I want the day to end so I can try again

Can you take a shower, step outside and go for a quick walk, take a nap, or eat something?

Drink some water?

I didn't expect the last one coming from you lol

What do you do when absolutely nothing is satisfying or seems worrhwhile

I'm sitting here literally surrounded by all the things I've built up for myself and done for myself, and nothing, but nothing, seems worth doing

Im so sorry, my phone died

Is there literally anything you can ID that will make you feel better? Anything

I'm making some soup, and going to watch YT until I pass out

I guess that's good, but i was hoping for more, kind of

Idk what to say

It's okay

I just meant i expected it to be more like "i want you on your knees with your mouth full and eyes looking up and begging for me"

Oh lol

Well I'd love to be with you

I promise I would not try to dump my depression on you

Depression is not dumpable

Are you still taking your meds as prescribed.

?

Yes, but I ran out of Advair yesterday

Are you okay?

Yeah I am fine

Okay

It can slide a few days

I will get it refilled tomorrow

Okay, good

If work allows, may i treat you Thursday and/or Thursday night when i am also free for a while?

I'd love that

Please let me know if it's possible :)

I hope so!

I hope so, too

And also what you'd like and like to do for it

Sounds like a special treat

Yes, it is

I could use some snuggling

For sure

What else?

Play time with you

What else?

Oh idk

Food?

Oh! Yeah maybe

I can make or i can order or we can go

Pause plz

2024-12-02T05:13:33

Good morning!!!

null

Less bad desk area lol

Oh my goodness wow!

Good morning!!!

Thanks!

Happy birtheve!

Thanks babe ❤️

Do you have any days next week and/or the following week that you'd like to do something together?

I need to request off 2 more so thought I'd ask you first

ooOoo

I mean I'd love to do something Monday

And Tuesday

Wednesday sounds good

And you know what? Thursday

And ofc Friday

Right, lol

Tuesday i have to be at work

Wednesday i am already off

Fridays L is off

Go for the best advantage, that's what I say

I have nothing important on my calendar

There's a show later this month she wants to go to with Toni and me but I think it's closer to Jesus day

We call it saturnalia

Right right

null

You"re busy that day

Kinda, yeah

And not so much my scene but i hipe you have fun if you go!

Are you able to escape overnight at all?

I doubt it

Unless she surprises me with a girl's night at Toni's or something, but I don't see that happening at this time of year

That's too bad

Day trip anywhere?

Possibly

Where would you go?

Suggestions if it's just me?

Dunno yet

I need to get in the shower to make myself presentable for my appt

Thanks for being there for me babe it means a lot

Are you okay?
What's the appt(

?

Yes, I'm fine

Just an annual

In person or virtual?

In person

Bom chance!

2024-12-02T09:06:36

How'd it go?

How are YOUUUUU?

Fine fine

Having breakfast

null

null

Sweet potatoes and Belgian sprouts!!!

I'm also break8ng fast

null

Lovely!

I just remembered I forgot to renew my driver's license and registration, so I think I will try to get that done today as well

You should

They have kiosks

There's one across the street

You lived right across from here iirc

I don't know?

Should I try the kiosk?

Yes

Corner of Grand River and centrAl park

What cityM

?

I've only lived 2 places out this way

Okemos

1638 Indian Way

In Arrowtree apartments

Corner of Dobie and GR iirc

I'm about 1 block from there

Go shopp9ng!

Lol I'm going to head back to Williamston and check out the H4H

Maybe not.... the google says they dont open til Tuesday at 9am

Lol I don't read for comprehension obv

You're so lucky I'm here!

Volunteers of america and greedwill are open today

Kellies in okemos opens at 11

Well? What were the verdicts?

Just finished renewing tags and id

Didn't realize the kiosk is in Meijer

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!?

Had to GTFO

Lol

My mission was clearly successful

Why you.....

I oughtA.....

I actually had to go in there twice bc I forgot to take something with my VIN

VIN NUMBER

for the ATM MACHINE

lol

This temp ID is printed on thermal paper

We'll see long that lasts in my hot pocket

Now I go to Lowe's

Not the despot?

Hey i have something awkward to say later

Uh oh, what is it

Not bad

Just awkward

If I'm giving you head, there's a chance that if-when you get off and are still in my mouth that I'll gag no matter what (how far, taste, etc will not matter)

I just wanted you to be prepared for that. It's not what i want or intend but it could happen

Interesting

I was going to ask you about that

Ofc I would warn you

Thank you

That might not help either

Fair

Just so you know

Do you like swallowing?

It's ok if no

Like is a weird phrasing to me

I would rather swallow is a better way to put it

You're different though

So for you? Yes i like swallowing

Rather than
A spit it out
b take it somewhere else

Havent done either

Well that makes two of us

No one has spot you out or asked for it somewhere else?

Nope

Weird

I only know swallow

Same

I'm withholding some information though

Why?

And please tell me?

Waiting for the right moment

Which is now:

I rather fancy the idea of coming on your face , if you're game

Yes

And again, it's ok if not

I won't cry

I just dont know how to do that

Lol me neither

As in, how do i position muself,

Ain't it funny?

Do i close my eyes?

You have to have seen this somewhere

Yes, for sure

In pornos

You don't have to close your eyes, but I think reflexes will close them for you

Having said that you do have a handicap, so I would try to be considerate, if you can call coming on a girl's face considerate

You can wear glasses too

Do you just pull out/away rdally fast?

Well like I said I never tried this

As tight as you are it might be difficult for me lol

Wellllll i do like that you think im still tight

And you know i want you to fill me as deep as possible

Damn

I'm in Lowe's so you mind lol

Wood likes wood friends

But I'm sure there are useful things there

Harnesses and swings and clamps and whathaveyou

Lol

null

Yes!

This thursday....

Is what being the 5th

Are you coming here? Are we exploring the greater lansing metro area? Are we going about our days as normal work plebians?

Do you work on the 16th? It's a Monday.

Was thinking perhaps an out of town daytrip if youd like

You can ofc come here wednesday the 18th all day if youd like

And wednesday the 11th

null

Ooh! Where you at?

Capitol Discount 2/2

So I'm not sure about Thursday yet

I am off the 16th

Wait no

I am off all next week 9-13

I could possibly rearrange a day to make 16th possible

How is your day going?

Day is okay thanks

Yours?

And no worries about altering your schedule

If you want to, be my guest pleasw, but dont wreck anything of yours

How is your day?

All good, all good. I can believe I've been out this long today lol

*can't

Good

I have literally one planned event and that's the show on the 20th

I think there's another next month but I don't remember what

Um.... you have a birthday

Non-event

Liessssssss

What am i!?

My fave person

What does that have to do with my BD?

And smackmas or whatever is definitely a non-event

Awww

Because i can be your event

Oh it's an event for sure! It's just not on my calendar yet

Do you know who Katie Ames is

Yes

Why?

Put me on your calendar like you want me on your face lol

All day, every day!

Oh yeah

KA sends me happy bday every year. It's weird. I know she does for a lot of people, but it's still weird

Every single person, actually

How's thay calendar coming along? When will you meet your demise by suffocation? L9l

I will learn to breathe in this environment

I will crush you

I have a pretty thick skull

I have thicc parts as well lol

They're best in class!

And I sure do miss 'em

null

Sorry just had to see if this really was a redish

A redish radish

Lol

https://www.reddit.com/r/tragedeigh/s/rELLsF6UQf

I am conducting an experiment. As a linguist, does this make you chuckle, or frown?

Well the post has been removed, but from what i know it makes me eyeroll

It is 1554

At 1552 the UAW sent BU employees a reminder that today is the last day for open enrollment

Great job union!

https://www.reddit.com/r/tragedeigh/s/pjv0kR2Igc

Just to humor me, does this link work? I have the same problem sharing Reddit links with David.

(the post is not deleted)

null

Well fml

Ok it has been deleted

For you lol

We need a president that will end the lives of parents that create these tragedeighs

No deportation

No tariffs

No humiliation

Just death

No cake either

So what do you think

Do I look like an Andeigh?

Ahnndeigh?

Idk if I fancy having a g in my name though

So brash

Do you know what "ghoti" means, in english linguistics?

Ghoti jail, do not collect 200 doll hairs?

null

Surgeon?

Fish:

F = gh (like in lauGH)

I = o (like in wOmen)

Sh = ti (like in cauTIon)

It helps illustrate how unnatural english phonetics and orthography are together

Just memorization

There's some of that in most languages but english is a lottttttt

Oh you mean PHTI

As a matter of fact I was playing with the aquarium

But I do not have phti yet

Why do you argue for phti instead?

They swim around and they're cute

Mmhmmm

Well, aslong as we know my letters have linguistic merit ;)

PH as in phone, or Persephone if you have one

TI as in aktion

If you donna hae a persephone you canna use yer cellaphone

I thought xer-jean might be an exotic hybrid of the Greek Chi (how do you say in phonetician?)

So, roughly, literally, "Zer"

With the French Jean:

You know that chi is ki

Like in kite

Zer is just allemande for there, l9l

Ugh

A weird sense of grief just kicked the life outta me

As soon as i finish this silly work mega task im headed to cuddle myself and wallow

Wait what's happening?

We had a first aid incident with doggo at the same time

Wherefore grief?

I just learned Olivia Newton John was born literally one day before my mother, and practically on the opposite side of the planet

COINCIDENCE?

Hey

I am just now done with work

Oh my!

OT for you?

Idk

You did a good job!

Are you ok?

Not really

I'll be ok

Tell me?

No judgement
Feel free to tell me how, or if, you'd like me to respond

Right this second i would like to physically feel better

Then thoughts or emotions

Sure thing

Obv I cannot get you things quickly

You can?

I think so?

I do not know how to feel better

I'm with you

As in I understand

Lmk know how I can help

I just dont know what to do for the acute feelings

Okay

Did something happen?

To trigger this

If I was actually a life sized teddy bear in your room, wwyd

Lay you on me

And i am dealing with 2 or 3 separate things

Grief and negativity are mostly on the backburner for now

I like laying upon you

If you find this comfy

I get so much contact with you

And you become calmer

And more relaxed

And we breathe and move together yet separate

This is a moment I have experienced and I cherish a great deal

https://open.spotify.com/track/5ci2SqjrnZB7aCIivA97ek?si=Ao-fGXhIQ2GwgO4Q2EwN-A

Literally was listening to this just now. Kinda cliche now, but really beautiful

I could really use your cuddles and contact right now

I wish you could have them right now!

How would you know if i relax more if i didnt tell you?

I can feel your body

Letting go

Sinking into the sheets

And your breathing becomes calm

And rhythmic

And gentle paced

And feels peaceful

Under me

I love this

How is it normally? Or if I'm anxious-y?

Only twice I think have we done this?

By request

And you were less than calm in some way

So we did that

Done what? The laying?

Yes

You specifically asked me to

I know one

When was the other?

I think i also warned you beforw that i might need it

Yes

It's obv no problem

I am happy to provide this service

I always feel embarrassed

Nah nah nah

None of that

It was beautiful

I've not done it before

But I really enjoyed it

Reasons up there ^^^

I like touch a lot of the time qhen I'm in this state

100%

Usually soft but not too wussy

I cannot help myself rn and it's awful

Brb 5 keep talking please

Ok or don't lol

null

2024-12-02T20:43:27

Oh myyyy

Haha

Look it's phti!

How are you babes?

Tell me everything plz

I am mildly better after an impromptu nap

Good!

What are you doing?

Besides sort of hovering around you like a helicopter, trying to get a read lol

Drawing rough plans for fish tank filtration

Poking around on Bezorrow Buy Me! Place

Trying to be crafty with photography but honestly being a dork

Feeling jealous of cat who has ignored all of this and feels good about it at my expense

Discovering how much I can style my hair.

When it's this dirty, it's kinda magical in a weird way, because it will stick any which way

Yes

And now for a word from our sponsor

You really HAVE seen my hair at 12ish days

null

That guy

I know him

Yeah he left some details out, but he's cool

Totally fine by me too

Smart reLly

I mean, i would

Lick my own balls, fuck yes

But then what would i do to impress you?? Lol

Smart kitty you are

Know

You will

Hmm?!

What'd i miss?

Nuthin, honey

Are you actually too young

To know the first (produced) Star Wars trilogy?

Say it isn't so

You are yoda speaking

Thought i you were

Your question, is answered!

Hmm??

What's in your mind?

Am I too disconnected for your taste?

No?

What do you mean? Not on the facespace?

I think I'm actually asking: is my goofiness annoying, and am I ignoring anything I should be paying attention to?

I dont think so. I wish i knew how you could help and i would tell you

Did you answer only the second question?

No, it was dual branched

Ah

Thanks for letting me know

Im just at a loss for what to do to ... better

To make life better maybe?

Wait wait which face space

Unsure of words

As are we bitht

Birthed

Facespace is my placeholder for social media

Hahahaha I love it!

Calm down fellas

I just want to know

Do you feel well

Are you secure

Do you need food, water, or anything

What's happening

I do not feel well but feel better than earlier

Secure... i think so? I am not intentionally harming myself and no one is inflicting anything physical upon me. I am upstairs and he is in the basement

I'm sure i need something but do not know what. I couldnt eat dinner that i was surprised with tonight. That caused an upset among other things

I need food to sound good, house to be cleaner, to more routinely take all my meds, to do the hard thing i havent done yet, and to just be able to sleep and maybe do my job occasionally with less side eye than I'm gettjng

null

null

null

I see you have a true idol at your side

I understand "I don't know"

With that said,

Be selfish and tell me what

You wish

Without judgement

If it pleases you

Can you give me an example?

What is on your mind

I'm thinking about how awful I feel as a person today

This was me 24 hours ago

Why do you feel awful as a person?

That was then

I do not feel that way now

And this isn't about me anyway

I feel helpless and hopeless

That's at least a summary

Ok

Do you want to say more about it?

I am stuck at everything and there's not a way to resolve any of it

Mmm

Everything is a lot

I say lies

But name one

How do i pick one to name?

Your choice. We agree this list choose from is not in fact infinite, right?

But they have hurt you if at the same

So call them out

It kind of is though, since it's all interconnected

No

No it isnt

I ca

Lol I keep hitting the microphone

Sorry

I can think of a counterexample so easily. Now how are you stuck

We'll start with significance first: i am just so unwell most of the time

Are you stuck unwell?

Yes

Nothing helps it?

Not really

Ever?

Nothing realistic

Is there anything that might improve if you had help?

Yes

Just about everything

I am fading fast, btw

In case i just stop responding

Can you tell me about the help that you desire?

Sure

It depends on what area i need help in

I really feel like if i could get the house clean then i would sleep better a lot of the time and i would feel better so i could work better

Get a better attotide to do the hard thing, stop a lot of arguing that happens herw

Will you tell me about this hard thing

I submit this thing you call the hard thing

Is occupying rather a lot of space in your mind

And is always a harbinger of ill-will towards your feelings of well being

Let us dispatch of this unnamed beast

Sorry, dispose of.

What eats at you so?

2024-12-03T06:30:34

Hey dollface

null

null

null

null

null

Thanks babe!

How are you?

Pretty good

How are you sweetie

I'm alright thanks

Have some bummer news though, maybe

What?

I have to work thursday :(

I have some hours free and alone Thursday night though. And possibly later afternoon

Ok

Im sorry :(

I'm not above calling out for part of the day, just sayin...

Work used your government name for your birthday wishes!

So official

Yes, Andrew. It is!

Andrew is ready for a nap lol

Took all my energy just to get out of bed

No one cares if you work from bed

Hmm, I like this way of thjnkingy

null

You're missing such total birthday cuteness

Can i show you after work??

Aww! Hi cutie!

Next thursday you are....?

Off allllll next week

Yes, right

Gonna have a lot of time on my hands lol

So if I'm off weds and thurs, maybe those hands could be occupied

??

https://open.spotify.com/track/5JiU3gLHz9AvUnrhXgOmos?si=r0krwMVLSQGn7CSxwXAvmQ

https://open.spotify.com/track/5G2f63n7IPVPPjfNIGih7Q?si=T5UtbwaXSb6vV2_JntAC-g

Ai Yi yi I got a message that my dad cracked his head on a concrete floorl

What a day

Oh no!

What do you need?

What are you doing for/about it?

Are you okayM

?

And when am i treating you to food? I am available almost all daytime Saturday if you can escape

Any word?

Sorry if I'm bothering. Only concerned

Sorry I have been on the phone for almost 3 hours

Done for the moment

This day is killing me. Just found out my dad has been admitted to hospital with CHI for observation and MRI

RLH is being a freak

Boys are coming tomorrow

I need a nap

I am 10000% serious: how xan i help?

Chi - chronic? Concussive? I figure the HI is head injury

I can find you a flight if you need

Send you food? Send your mom food?

Be your escape tomorrow?

Idk yet

I can move whatever i need to

Thank you though I appreciate it!

Drinks tonight, even

I can send flowers from you

Wrap any holiday presents

Bake or cook

Procure any gifts

You are too nice :)

Haha, thanks

But I'm also very serious

I know you are. Thank you so!

I am positive you would do the same

I would

What is rlh doing?

Why boys tomorrow?

I'll be working but just come over

Idk
I thought they were coming this weekend but whatever I guess

I need to tell rl about my dad, she doesn't know yet

Brb hopefully

Oh jeesus

Everything is fine

Liar

More details please

Oh we had an absolutely mind bending discussion about who bought what kind of Kleenex earlier.

I just don't know sometimes

It didn't escalate... Much

Does she know it's your birthday?

Lol yes

What does "escalate " mean?

In this case only that we spent 5 minutes unpacking what should have been a 5 second request about the grocery list

Words are hard though

Gotcha

What else?

That's all for now

Have you had food or fluid today?

O have!

Holy chickens i am exhausted all of a sudden

Holy chickens

I say, is everything alright?

Maybe?

No real fever

Back owww but have new patch on

Unsure when last fluid, headed for ice now

This elevator smells terrrrrrrrible

Eww!

How's it going now?

What was the play by play of the day?

Things are settling down

My dad is ok, might be sent home today. There was an unrelated and harmless calcification seen on the imaging, so no scares there.

I did not get KA birthday wishes until noon. I was very worried about this lol. But she did come through.

Lol

Just talked to my sister and things are settling down over there in Tucson

Excellent

Thanks

And for the real purpose of thwle day?

*the whole

Is there one lol

It's postponed until, you know, the boys get here

Which is when?

And nope, unacceptable. For real.

I just paid the last deductible of the year. Woo hoo

What else

Umm, I'm ready to stop working now

So do

What a day lol

It's fine really

Gifts yet?

As in have I received any? No

Wait--yes

It was so fucking awkward I forgot

Oh oy

Actually a neat plant propagation thingy. That presentation was immediately followed by the Kleenex debacle so I kinda lost track of it

What was the problem with the facial tissue?

I've analyzed it and concluded it was a) a request for a grocery item but b) wrapped in the assertion that I have not attended to the special nature of the request. But that was c) incorrect (I have attended to it). And I d) tried to set the record straight, but that only made it seem like e) she wants being heard.

Are you following?

Sorry typos e) she was not being heard

Once I realized the futility of explaining, I just said ok I got it

Now I know "mansplaining" is frowned upon, but I don't think that's what I was doing. She really wanted to be correct saying that I bought the wrong kind. That didn't happen, but she did not know that, and will not hear that. Idgaf really, I get what she wants

Things I didn't say:
Is there a reason you didn't just get what you want when you were the last person doing grocery shopping last week???

It's weird. She tells me to put things on my list (she does not keep lists). And then somehow I own the buying of tissues because they're on my list.

It's just weird

Does she enjoy the arguing?

Genuinely wondering if that's a thing for her

She will not be told she is wrong

It's not the arguing

So she needs validation

I'll come back to that

Oh yikes ok

She is also a braggart

"I am really good at looking things up on the Internet"

Literally a quote

Also

"Using the timer on my phone is too difficult"

Does she know that

A. There are timers on the interweb

B. There are phone instructions on some websites

C. Your literal education and profession rest in world wide internet usage and security

So I agree she seeks validation

I think part of the problem is I often don't recognize that quickly enough and try to explain

And in doing so I manage to put myself on the opposite team somehow, and now I'm the enemy, who must be told in no uncertain terms they are wrong

And it is difficult to reverse that conversation

If youre not for her, you're against her

Ironically, it's binary

Yeah, that's a good synopsis

And I've witnessed this in how she treats others

Oh?

It's nuanced, but she does tend to get hung up on things she doesn't agree with

I think we all do that to some extent

I'm just running out of patience for this. I've looked away for a lot of years

Yeah

I went so far as to "prove" i know things with endless expensive papers to display

Another cliche -- my way or the highway.

Yes

What would you ultimately want that i would have capacity to procure or provide for you for this such an auspicious occasion as your 56th rotation del sol?

You know what sucks? Sometimes I get ideas that would be a good response to that question. But I fail to remember them.

Text them yo me randomly then

You know what else sucks?

Hmm?

That you probably cant come over this week to do enjoyable things

Sigh. For sure

And i hardcore want it all

Can you get out at all this week or weekend?

Possibly

When, do you know at all?

Nvm, I'll figure out what i can

I need information I don't have yet, sorry. From my side, that is.

I knowwwwwww

I'm just a little bit dying to see you

Alllllll of you, lop

*lol

All of meeee! Flop

Yep

Alllll of you

Maybe youd like the same offered to you?

"maybe" ❤️

There's so much i still want

Omg yes please

What would you do this evening if you had me?

I know how I'd start!

Let's dim the lights get you in some lacy layers, have a lil smoke, and make out in your room

Are we standing?

Purely platonic making out ofc

All on the up and up

I think standing quickly becomes squirming about on the bed

Oh you want me squirming?

Let me thi

Yes

Just so you can quell me?

Your clothes kinda fall off

Sorry about that

Maybe you should help them

I mean I'm just holding you down nbd

Yesssssss

If you want to squirm and strip that's your business

YOU strip me

Hehehe

Idc if you have to use your teeth or wven straight up rip off my vestments

Sorry babe, keep leading plz

Lol

I do need to find the right moment to lick your nose. I'm sure you've earned that

Ive earned licking evvvvvverywhere

Indeed

Have you?

No but i will lol

Of that I have no doubt

What if i want something new, what will you do? What's the new act?

Then we'll charge extra!

Ummm

Heh

Well you know that idea list I have?

You have such a thing?

No not that one

I am confused now

I want ideas

Good good

I definitely want to have at you with me standing at the edge of the bed and you every which way we can make that work

Every
Which way

Mmmmm yes please

I for sure want this sideways idea we almost did

yessss of course!

Fabulous idea

You still planning on pressing my thighs open and apart so you really get in as much as you can?

That will definitely happen

More than once and under different circumstances

More details please!

As you know, I do want to discover just how far in I can come in you

At least I think you know that

I kind of know that

Well now you know! Lol

Additionally

I am going to fuck you with my tongue

Which will require a certain amount of stretching

For both of us

I want to feel how much you want to push your load so, so deep. Be firm. Get grabby

Carnal desire

That's what i want

Now, whyfor this stretching?

You've tongue fucked me before without needing it

Sorry spouse interruption

Must go deeper

Same here lol

You'd actually pur your tongue deeper?

This is very intriguing. Has not been done

There's also a particular spot i want to see if youd work at. It'll be a different kind of O if i get there. I can anticipate what It'll be like and... it's be great ;)

Would you play with toys with me?

Ofc!

And I was thinking about how sexy you look with a pink plug in your sexy ass

But sir - i still need more descriptives, please

Maybe first, help me understand how the butt plug works as a toy

I get the mechanics 🙂

How exactly does it become part of the exchange between us?

Is it pre inserted and there for display?

Do I put it in?

Does it get moved around at all?

I may have to duck out for a little bit fyi

Either of us can put it in, pre inserted or during play

It's to be cute or can make me tighter

Same for ducking out

And no, no moving around except for in or done with

Hey

null

Food was prepared for me, so I partook

Watcha doing?

2024-12-04T06:46:49

null

Well hi!

How are ya this morning?

Ugh

Not great but i guess ok

Been awake since 0130

How was last night? How are you?

What are your plans for all of today and then tomorrow?

Work, basically

Meh

I'm ok. Went to bed kinda early

How come?

Because I ate dinner early and that made me sleepy

I was tired anyways

What else went on when you "ducked out"?

I literally ate food, brushed my teeth, and went to bed

That's all

Aww I'm sorry

What was for food?

Blackeye peas, nicely spiced with herbs, and mixed veggies

Quite satisfying actually

What did you do last night

Not much. Kinda picked up a little and then essentially laid down for bed. Then awake for a while now

What's on your work agenda today?

Gotta catch up on some things I've been ignoring for a while

Mmhmm

I assume you're not free at any point of the duration of december 4, 2024?

How's your dad?

Dad has COVID as it turns out

Oh wow, yikes

I have to run errands after work so not free but not totally confined either

Is he classically symptomatic?

Yes this is second time COVID for him. My parents both had long COVID a couple years ago

Have you had it at all?

Yes, a year ago

Do you vax?

Yep, got a booster monday

How are you feeling from that?

My arms are kinda sore lol. I got flu shot same day

But otherwise I'm fine

I say do it that way

Did you use bith arms?

I usually don't have problems with vaccines. Shingles vax hurt like a bitch.

I don't think that one is arm, is it?

It is. It's 2 or 3 in a series as well. That was several years ago

We did flu in one arm, COVID in the other on Monday

Here's a fun fact: we dont know if i will respond to a shingles vac. I also have no antibodies for hep b even though I've completed the series at least 3, possibly 4 times

Wow

And we dont know if i have an appendix

What?

Sometimes they take it out during transplant as a precaution

Can we look at your table of contents?

Ive had 3 surgeries in that area and so there's a lot of scarred tissue

Cant tell on an ultrasound

Dont know if they took it out when they transplanted

Schrodingers vestigials

Lol!

Tonsils can grow back

Weird! I still have mine

Me too

My family doc was not a fan of tonsillectomy

I cant pass an optical biometrics test

Interesting

Are you a robot?

Yep

Intraocular lens implants, scratched and bloody retinas that don't properly transmit, and no focal power. Plus the one eye just doesnt look completely straight ahead

Yesterday i told kendell for the 3rd time that i will be attending our team party but CANNOT BOWL

Wait and see if she listened

Omg

When is that

Tuesday

Idk why we're even working

There's a service center lunch

Then alllll of billing leaves the premises at like 3pm

Lolol

Seriously

Got a meeting in a few, then some stuff to bounce off my fave sounding sagg lol

That's me

Sagggggg

Indeed

Am back

I am the gemini-est gem youll ever meet lol

Truth

You think so?

Yep!

That could be great or.... not lol

I'm going with the positive interpretation

Awww

❤️

You know ill ask why

I mean you were born in my favorite month of all time so you have to be good

Kicked my way out a month early to make that happen

Lol thank you!

And spring 1986 was a particularly nice one as I recall. One fine evening, riding my gf's bike home at midnight, the air thick with lilac scent

It doesn't get much better

I've been chasing that vibe ever since then

May 1986.... you just turned 18.

And just started other fun things, if i recall

What a time lol

I wasn't 18 until December

Oh you mean my first Christmas?

Lol

Yes lol

I learned something pertinent to 1968 the other day

Summer of love?

That MIL of mine was born in April of 1968

Aww

2 people i have very strong feelings of fucking/fucking over lol

Um, those are polar opposites

So i split a prepositional phrase

I do what i want lol

If anyone is qualified to take their language in their own words it's you

Lol thanks

She says "i seen" a lottttt

Oh! Did i show you the letter i found from her?

Instant disqualification

No, I ain't seen it

You wanna?

Only i know ive seen it. Well and my mother

I'm assuming it's total cringe. Yes! Want to see!

null

null

null

null

It's psychotic ranting and jesus godly untrue, if that isnt clear

But no, i have not read it all

WOW! Is his mom 15?

And you're a witch?

She's 6 months older than you lol

Does she say that!?

I seen that in their

Uh yeah, she does say that in there

Cool, cool

This was ostensibly over a cat

I think there might be more to it

When L turned 16 he drove to a bookstore in Cadillac for his first solo drive

Bought harry potter

She ripped it up and threw it away

Bahahahaha!!!

She did the same with a collegiate library book of his when he wrote a report of the Catholic schism

I'm trying really hard not to lol bc RLH is sleeping in the next room

His sister isnt allowed to watch anything with magic, not even Beauty and the Beast

Friends, this is amurica

Wow

WOW

Literally prayed around me while she and my FIL held hands and put holy oil drops on my forehead the first time i was at their house

Where i slept on the living room floor

um wut

At 23 years old

When he and i wach had our own apartments

Oh shit babe

Serious wackadoodle there

But I'm also literally the only one his sister has ever liked and she chooses me over anyone else consistently

Because i recognize that she is, after all, a human

Omfg MIL must be wrecked about that

You

You

Cat loving witch you

You saw the text she sent me out of nowhere one day

Shes "taking chemo and in hospice " roughly every 6 - 8 months, has a randomized miracle (most recently her wrist tumors were gone when they tried to do surgery to repair what the attempted burglar did to her arm in their doorway.... dont even let me start there)

She shaves her head

So so so so many lies

I know too much

Taking
Chemo

That's that

Yes

Like in pills

Sure

As one does

Does she buy them on Infowars dot com?

Shaves here head

"Uh, stacey? Your eyebrows would also be gone"

Bahahahaha

Prayed at the obama/idk who else election in 2012 that both candidates "would meet a different fate" and someone with jesus in their heart would take over the presidency instead

Well I hope she's happy now

Lolol

She can get a trump Bible for $60

Lovvvvvvves that guy

Christ on a pogo stick

They do not have a single book in their house except for his dad's bible and hers.... let me see if i can find a copy

Wow

It's about how to be an obedient wife

Yes, in that term

She also gave me a trinket box once that had the prayer of Jabez on it

It's basically for sinners asking god for guidance and protection away from their super immoral lives

Pure alt right idiocy.

In the flesh

Complete with an illiterate trad wife

Amazing

So L really bucked the family system hitching up with you

2024-12-04T11:38:47

I have literally not had a call stop in the time since i had to log on. My time between calls is less than 10 seconds. Fml.

Anyway, yes

I own pants

She does not

First time i met his mom "L says you're diabetic, can you still have kids?"

😬

Then not too long later "even if you had to adopt, I'm sure we would still love them"

What is it with brain rot and babies I fucking sweat

Asking the wrong person

Anyway

Tomorrow night, want to come over? Maybe have dinner?

Or do something friday or saturday daytime?

Posssssibly late today?

Late workday i mean

I don't know how I can but I'll say yes I want to

Is it L's date night with the B?

Lol not this week

I just figured you might stop by and abduct me for a hot minute. I'll trade for birthday presents and IOUs!!!

Tomorrow he goes to get his sister in Mt Pl right after work

Well I do have to go to Kroger

And fresh thyme

Whaddya you know they aren't close together

I can't believe it took Kroger 48 hours to fill a prescription

Lol

Anything good?

Just adding air?

Advair to be exact!

You know , nbd

just BREATHING

Whatevs

I have a nebulizer and a fuckton of albuterol if you need it. Plus 3 or 4 different inhalatiob devices with the 'roid

Literally have my own nebulizer

I own that bitch lol

Pleasssssse come over tomorrow? We can make out if nothing else!

Pressssssssnts!

That sounds nice!

For real?

I am suddenly free tonight instead of tomorrow.

Lol

If you want to ride along on my errands I will swing by

Can i just take advantage of you?

Oh my, I just don't know whatever you mean

Guess that's a no. Very sad.

How will I know if you're taking advantage of me?

Depends on if you want it or not

What would you be okay with this evening, assuming I'm u claimed til 8 or so?

*unclaimed

Another meeting now... hurray

And done again

Might forage

Im flippin freezing

null

That looks good!

Thanks!

I addec cannenberges too

Lots of brummel lol

Whoa. Too posh for me lol

Well, what say you?

Good golly, is this Miss Molly?

I triggered RLH

Anyhoo, I can't stay out late. Way too big of a sus hit

NB the boys arrive Friday. RLH had disconnect in brain somewhere

So what happened?

She printed the tickets for our shows and started to put them on my desk. I said please don't put them here, they will get lost

She says

Where am I supposed to put them?

And I wasn't really happy with that so I told her I don't know, you printed them

She got really frustrated and insisted she needs me to keep track of them, so I took them and put them somewhere else

I didn't think to mention at the time

So you remember what happened with your fucking driver's license renewal???

And why can she not take responsibility for the simplest things?

Im sorry babe

My day turned sucky too

Twins

So true

I am now required to be in office no less than 50% of my working days

Fucking ay wtf

I'm literally crying i am so upset

Like how tf do i do this

I'm so sorry

Maybe i just up and quit

I'm unhinged enough

My advice is don't rage quit

But that does suck and not in a good way

Is L at the house or are you expecting him in the next hour or so?

Neither

I dont expect him til after 8ish

Im still officially working but idgaf

For sure

Ok then I'm going to get these two errands done and I can stop by for a little bit if you want me to

Yes please :)

Ok I will let you know when I'm at Kroger

Okay

❤️

I might stay in my pajamas

My hair is crispy

And you know what this house looks like

What should i expect?

A kiss , a hug, clean hair!

Well you can have 2/3

I bring all three! And I am three minutes away. Ok?

Yes. See you soon

2024-12-04T18:41:11

Wait did I miss the pjs?

null

Idk

null

What am I looking at exactly?

I took my pants off

That's a couch

Heard you might need one

It's multipositional

Premature ejection, just my luck

null

Hey i know him!!!

Yep!

Okay, here me out

I have something serious, awkward, and uncomfortable that i don't know what to do about. You're probably the best and worst person i can think of to talk with. I am just finally breaking enough to maybe talk it over if you're okay with it

Say it any way you feel ok doing. I will listen and not judge

If I'm in a predicament where someone's trying to be physically intimate with me and i don't want it but cant really say no, what the hell do i do?

How do you know their intention?

A lot of ways

Said, tried, not sure what ither ways but yes to those too

Ok do you have physical presence with them ever?

Like in the same room

But I should have said

No

Is the place to start

Embellish that or not, but be clear no is your answer

I dont think that can be an answer anymore

Why

Ah fuck

I really have to spell this out, dont i?

I'm not assuming anything
You haven't told me if person is ever in the same room with you

Yes

Am I supposed to name someone? Because I'm not

Fwiw, i think you know more than youre giving yourself credit for

This is excruciating

null

What are y9u waiting on me for? Sorry

What are you avoiding?

Btw my jacket smells like you... I love this

I am trying you avoid telling you explicitly what's going on

I didnt smell like anything

At least nothing good today

Ok

So if I have this right, someone is making unwanted physical advances and "cannot be told no any longer"

Do I have this right

Yes

Is it your expectation that I should understand who this is?

Kind of

I think it will be better than 20/20 hindsight

Ok then

And is that how you wanted to position this issue you're having with me?

Sorry

*issue you are having , as you've told it to me

I'm trying to make it sound less bad than the situation is

Welp that mission failed my dear

Because now I have to wait for the next episode

To find out more

But you've placed the cliff hanger really well

Should i just tell you in real words?

+4 for plot development

I'm being sarcastic sorry

It's okay

That's not great of me

Yes please do tell me, plainly

It's not that bad I promise

What isn't?

Just saying what you want to say

It's ltr.

I can't be with him that way after he did what he wanted to without any consent from me several years ago. I kind of agree that i deserved it then but also not really. His pov is different than mine for that instance. I say spousal assault, he says angry sex. I can still describe every second of it in detail and would rather die than relive that

He is more persistent lately, being touchy and lovey and maiing physical and verbal advances all. The. Time. And i cannot. I just cant. There's not a way for me to check out like i normally could. I cant get into it. I cant not say no. And i cant say no without a huge argument now and huge amounts of me feeling bad about myself for a lot of reasons.

This is just another reason i cant and dont sleep. Really.

But wtf am i supposed to do??

There isn't a way out and isnt a way i can stay like things are and not a way i would want to be physical with him again and he isnt going to stop feeling how he is. And i am completely alone.

I had some people for a while and no longer do

Im sorry. This was way too much

I'd like to know

Do you think he has clearly heard your wish?

What is my wish in this scenario?

No, ltr, I do not want

Yes. Very much yes.

Has repeated it

Says i say it all the time

Acknowledged that 3 years ago i see assault but he says it was angry sex

Knows that's the last time we did anything physical regardless

Whether it's for that reason or any other, he should back down after being told no

And you don't need to explainwhy

To be clear, i will only see that instance as him punishing me. I think he sees it that way too, even if he would maybe use different words

You're adults. We don't punish people, starting now

Anyway, no means no

Or you leave

For your safety

That is very literally my option

I just cant decide how bad it would be and if i can handle it

I'm with you there sister

I have to ask, divorce?

I can't say what's right

It's been brought up

I have literally nothing and no one if that happens though

And i am like you in this sense - only ever dated him. I dont know anything else. Every adult memory i have has him, just about

Yes I understand

Def no quick and easy for this

I don't know how you two get along. Would he be physically forceful or violent to you?

Short answer is yes

Yeah, leave

Unless that's what you want

My answer there sucks

Its essesntially

Ive been here before and lived with enough through all of this already, more is probably fine

Ok

That is not what i want my answer to be

Good

That's my opinion anyway

But i dont know what to do or how to fix it

Girl you realize no one else can do it for you. If you have to do it, you just do it.

I'm sorry

I know

Im sorry i told you

Well, sorry you have the knowledge is what i mean

Fucking braindead people out there sis, I'm sorry you got tangled up with them.

I never stood a chance. Who are we kidding

100%

I have a letter from my mother that gives details for the ultimatums i face if i get divorced

Lord

Letters from L with the same

Nothing official, but it would happen

Or is this actual help, idk

Is what help?

This guy information from mother and L

Guy???

It just says i lose everything and everyone

I'm asking if the things they wrote are just annoying or are they helpful if, say, you were consulting with a divorce attorney

Are they legal documents?

Or threats

This is a reason that giving myself a permanent life exit always needs to be a possibility for me, even if it's suuuuuuper low

No, not anything real or official

But it lets me know their intentions and real feelings

Fair

I know this is all annoying

What is annoying?

Oops brb

Sorry, back

Yeah, all the annoying things are annoying. That was the brilliant insight you've been waiting for

They just got home so i might suddenly be asleep. Idk.

Annoying isn't all of it, at all

It's 24hours a day

Work
Pets
Life
Home
Friends

Everything

Surely the pets aren't annoying?

2024-12-04T23:55:42

Sorry, legitimately fell asleep for a while

Not annoying like the rest, just not mine in any threats made in those letters

Meaning they get taken away from me if we separate at all

Mmhmm

I wish I could cuddle you

Me too

I hate that you're in this spot

With nice soft kisses too

Yes

Ofc

When i told my mother once or a few times about things that had happened (that were bad but not intimate), her responses have been

Well maybe, but that's only abuse by TODAY'S standard. It was normal (insert prev generations and examples)

You know, at least it's not as bad as (insert whatever my father did to her that i was also there for and victim too)

How can you avoid that going forward? What can you so differently? Maybe you should (insert tradwife activity) while he cools down

Sigh

And the end of those conversations is always "im sorry you're having a bad day" or "im sorry youre in such a bad mood" followed by "be niiiiiiiiice"

I hate to say it, but she is not helpful

I want to prioritize your personal safely and well being

Mazlow requires this

You deserve it

Don't ever think you don't

Thank you

I very ironically know exactly what i would say to and do for a friends in this situation but cant do it for myself

I get that

I logically understand i deserve it but also feel like there isnt a point and I'm already a lost cause

Not to me you're not

Thank you

I mean that

And not just as a FWB

But as a friend

I have to drop off babe

Be good you yourself

Same

I do try

I love you

I love you too

And thank you

And im sorry

You're welcome

No need to be sorry

Be good

To you

You too

null

 ​❤️​ to a GIF 

Gnight love

Sweet dreams

 ​❤️​ to “ Sweet dreams ” 

2024-12-05T07:13:22

Hey

Hi babe!

How's it going?

https://www.ohmiorganics.com/?fbclid=IwZXh0bgNhZW0CMTEAAR163eGVovleAe4w5kwb9AqCRwlg0RP_HDeFyuThTIyCt3XGiryoj-oUMOU_aem_CxrwWapNMpKJGAqWbhzD5A

Oh cool!

Looks like a nice mini trip :)

There was a coffee place around there too. Idk if it still is, but that could be fun. They had delicious affogatos

There also *might* be some thrift stores up and around there l9l

O rly lol

So what if I'm more job-miserable and quasi offended today?

What's quasi offended mean?

It means that there are 6 members on my "team ". 4 of them were specifically recognized with those emmy things. One girl sucks and we all know it, then there's me

And idk what to do with that besides take it personally and feel like i suck in a really bad way

How special

Who nominated the Emmy

Christopher

For all 4

I feel slapped in the face and hurt and mad and sad at the same time and i feel really stupid for it

That is understandable
How crappy

Any chance he's just propping up their egos?

I dont think so. But also... why essentially single out 2 people in a very small team and not even just say something lame and generic?

Agreed

So i just feel shitty about it all

He is a man ,and sometimes we do stupid things

But you know him better than I

Yes. And i dont think it was oversight but i dont think it was malicious

Ok. Still, I definitely would feel called out by omission.

Yes. That's what I'm saying

Yep

I'm sorry

They were submitted at the same time

And 6 people is not too much more effort than 4

We gotta find you a new job

Esp when only a few words of each are changed

Among other things

Yes

I am stuck in this hellsscape for ever and ever

Nope

I do not enjoy being trapped

Yes. That sucks

I did not see anything open for which i would qualify on the job postings for AF

And thought it was interesting that our posts for lansing are listed as "onsite" vs "hybrid"

Yeah I saw that too

Lovely

I'm guessing that's a cya

We just hired a guy who lives in Atlanta. He's not "hybrid"

And we couldn't afford to bring him to Lansing for meetups

Tell langlois to hire me

I can be your diversity

We do lack female energy on my team

Well kinda

I bake and clean and remember birthdays!

And think "what if" constantly

And find the missing armor links

Good, good

And i just got a new cop6 of Walden that could easily land on his desk...

He'd probably love that

Does he like Japanese culture and whatnot?

Seems like he might

He loves all things cultural

Not exaggerating

And our good friend Elmo regularly goes there

I have a cool poster that tries to teach the basics of kanji and preschool language

And a few sets of dishware (i cant think of the real word for tea sets and sake bottles and whatever)

Elmo could tell you!

I can say a few things in japanese

And am crazy good at origami and papercrafting

You are crazy good at a lot of things, and smart and good humored as well

I think maybe you just don't like snipey, pushy, rude dickheads

I dont do well with inflexibility or micromanaging or any of the new nonsense

For sure

My brain is neurospicy and no one over here understands that i dont fit molds

Correct. Because they all stopped emotional development when they were fucking 15

Yes

It's incredible

We love neurospicy

We stock a lot of those

We focus on things getting dine

Like, i have to literally lay down on the floor with a hard foam roller so i dont need narcotics all day long and i cannot do that where i am

Yes!

I get shit done

Not what color is your shirt today

Thoroughly

Okay but what ARE you wearing??

Who me?

Exactly what you saw me in yesterday atm lol

Until I wash up later

Northface with a vasopressor stashed away?

Yep!

Hey, some guys carry contraceptives

I carry blue pills

One never knows

I carry a lot

Id rather you ingest your pharmaceuticals though, not just carry them in a pocket

Lol I dare not take these daily. I'll drive myself crazy unless you are close by at all times!

3ish miles

Next time you have me for a long enough while maybe i just throw the whole bottlw in some wayer for ya

Nonstop fun

I mean I try to be upstanding, but that might be over the top

Well silly me, i thought you wanted to feel places so deep no one else has ever been there

But what do i know

Oh I can't wait to paint your cervix

And watch your face as I do it

I'm a very hungry canvas, lol

Practically twitching already

And be so deep in you that you can't push me out

I'll make sure you have to stay pushed in while i pulse and squeeze and contract all over you

OMG I am squirming over here

Just imagine the inhale i need to take as you go in, millimeter by wet soft millimeter into me, until youre realllllllly deep. And i stop breathing in, i rest and hold the air, and you go juuuuuust a little more to touch the tip of your brush up in me as far as anyone can go

I want air to breathe but there isnt any more

And then we connect and you keep going through the motions as i float to someplace magical where it's just you and me on the clouds and sharing each other

I know you can imagine how my mouth opens in the absurdity of what I'm feeling and for you to be the first to hit those spots and really be with me in that moment

Imagine a bit more and i bet you'll see the light flicker in my eyes when they widen and the gasps i try and take it when I'm full of you

I live for this moment

Every sense, every touch, taste, smell, sight, and sound

I want to see ecstasy on your face, followed by peace

I know it's there

And I want to hold you as you move through the entire experience

Yessssss

I think at some point your arms will make their way under mine to hold me with your hands clasping my scapulas. In ky mind, you can still thrust in this position

Yes, oh yes. We can keep going

I want to be with you now so, so much

Sorry! Talking to my dad

Ok now you :)

I'm working 🙄

How's your dadM

?

Much better. I didn't realize they kept him in the hospital the first night, but he is home now and says he actually feels pretty good but for the tail end of the cold/COVID that he caught. And I was wrong--this is his third round with COVID.

Some things just aren't fair. My parents are both very intelligent, cautious, healthy, etc. And they both got the bad end of the COVID stick for some reason.

Thank you

I am much relieved

That's good!

But yes... fair.... ca ne ment pas

You are busy tomorrow? Alternative is platonic adventures

Kinda busy but might cut out early. I have to take doggo to the vet at 1400 I think

Tomorrow?

And you never told me what the doggo emergency was earlier this week

Right, tomorrow

He had cyst at the base of his tail that we didn't notice until it popped the other evening. It was a big bloody mess

Uh-oh 🤭

Not sure why that face is there

Yeah 🫤

https://www.etsy.com/listing/1825579773/ive-had-one-coffee-yes-20oz-stainless?ref=share_v4_lx

Lol nice!

Omg i just git hit with the worssssstttttt tire wave

Tire?

Tired

Swimming tires?

Sleepy

Yes well

Hit the wake wall

Yeah

Maybe i should move from the same spot from 5 hours ago

Perhaps

Don't do what my dad did

I do what i want lol

Hey now!

I will lick some sense into you

Mmmmmm

Lick the sense out of me sounds better

Hehe

2024-12-05T13:10:39

How are you faring with that wake wall

Got some foods & caffeine

Less shaky & sleepy now

Cool!

I forgot to eat lol

Making oatmeal now

null

Cheesy noodles and massacred mushrooms

null

Bete.... dumb or beast??

Yes

Actually she's really smart, just nutso

2024-12-05T16:04:07

How's it going?

Not bad. You?

Pretty good

Yay!

Just got myself some iced coffee and half a cookie

Feeling semi motivated for after work cleaning

Woo!
Iced coffee even!

I am going on a book crawl downtown on saturday. Would be lovely if you joined but you do you

Well i made it but yes iced coffee

I kind of avoided coffee for lots of months. Not really intentionally but subconscious does its own thing

For sure

There were several winters where I had very little coffee, mostly tea. Now I have rarely have tea

Plus ça change...

Well coffee was astrophys's lifeblood

Lol I don't doubt it

So i couldn't drink it for a while

He drank his black

Ew

Heh

If I can't have actual dairy, I have black as well

But I prefer with cream

Im sorry you dont like happy caffeine and prefer more bitterness in your l8fe

And now I put milk in tea too (when I have tea). I used to be a purist with tea.

It is happy caffeine!

I like my beer bitter too

Nah fam

Guess I like everything that way lol

Wow my mind got dirty real quick there

Lolol

Yours didnt??

Maybe a titch

Weird

Grey's Anatomy book (you saw it here) - yes or no for you?

Aren't you free yet?

And Saturday could easily be h4h or holiday shopping for you to attend to

I am free!

At the moment

😊

I will relieve you of Gray's. Ty!

Yay!

I am significantly increasing your library btw

Lol

How do you feel about vintage science books?

No wrong answers

I am intrigued by the vintage science

If i locate them, i will show you them

They're cool, imho

Cool! Ty

I be good librarianologist

Bibliophile, among other philes

You think i phile other things?

Bonus: i have a tote bag with the bibliophile definition in acrylic lol

Wanna hit up a used book sale?

Nice!

I could enjoy this activity

But I need to be very cautious

Where is it?

Okemos

I actually figured you would say no

My only concern is this is exactly the sort of thing David would go to

You can absolutely pass then

Well he's sick today. Maybe I will find out about his social calendar tomorrow

Poor man

ager

Lol

I remember-learned something today

https://www.kroger.com/p/dorot-gardens-frozen-crushed-ginger-cubes/0079437610014

Also just read about those and it seems like a cool product line

Oh interesting!

You don't like ginger right?

But having nice herbs on tap is a real treat

One of the few things I grew really well in hydro was parsley

And cilantro to a lesser degree

Tried to start oregano but it didn't oregana-go

When i have leftover fresh herbs i put them in a designated ice cube tray in olive oil for future use

And now i am freeeeeeee

What color folder?

Just pick

Purple!

So what now,

?

I'm puttering with the aquarium

2024-12-05T20:10:42

What's news

2024-12-05T22:45:32

Not too much. Just getting up from a nap

Yous?

I'm going to sleep now :)

Gnight!

Have fun!

null

2024-12-06T06:45:08

Guten morgen!

Hieeeee!!!

How wAs your night?

Pretty good! Tons of pain rn but that's just hiw it is sometimes

How about you?

Pretty good here

Maybe you need a massage?

I for sure do

But for now i have some hopefully helpful narcotics

Cool cool

What's happening over there?

Cats are eating
Dog is sleeping
RL is sleeping

It's pretty quiet

I am sneezing for some reason

Not so quiet lol

Awww poor babe

Just RL today?

Ironically, RL could also be me

Oh! The kitchen island has been uncovered :)

Nice job!

Thanks!

And a good amount of counter

Do me next!

I will gladly do you!

Yay!

Maybe you do me first

Show me how to have a good time

Maybe I could eat at the island

Depends on how you feel about heavy lifting to earn your snickity snack

Hmm

Somewhere circa 165#

I rly?

I'm officially 180

Congrats!

I am officially 164pointidk

Maybe I'm officially fat bastard now lol

Not even a little bit!

Fat fuck?

Based on height to weight ratio, i am the fatter fuck....

You are pleasingly plump

I would rather be perfectly petite

I'll just have to exercise you more

I'll be waiting

I have a confession

Yes, monsieur?

I was looking at your pictures last night

Mmhmmmmm

I hope you were still enjoying them

Indeed

I'm glad

So much in fact, I came harder than I can remember for some time

I lovvvvvvvvvve that

It's true

Thank you for the confession!

You're welcome

So, why? What made it good?

Just thinking about being with you fr made it so good

Oh, good

My cervix is very lonely

Aww

I'll have to say hello soon

You better

And my g spot is getting cold. Better give her some love

I'll warm her for ya

Think youll find her?

I know where to look now

You seem confident in that

How do you know? Fr

Maybe your conscious mind doesn't remember this, but I've locked in at least two, maybe three hot spots

Not even counting your clit

Im aware, i literally dont know how you know

It's a cool thing that happens when we pay attention to each other

But what do i do?

This is so bizarre

Do i pay enough attention to what you like?

You sure do!

That's good

But anyway, my brain needs to know what corporal reactions i give off involuntarily

Collectively, sounds, words, movements, breathing

A little bit of all of those

Okay, thanks

Jsyk, i dont do any of that by thinking it. I dont control it, you jist take over the carnal parts of me and let them be expressive all on their own

How yummy!

Wanna know whatbreally embarrasses me in those times?

Yes

If I'm against your face or fingers, when i basically fuck them with animalistic humping

I cant help it though

Welcome to what it feels like to be a guy

Omggggg

Lol

It's impulsive

And it loves positive feedback

That act is physical positive feedback

Yep

But if you're okay with it, i might let loose and go at it harder sometime

You should!

I love it

Okay :)

Everything embarrasses me

I don't see embarrassment

I see pleasure I helped you obtain

That's true

And that pleases me

Have you seen me shake?

Indeed

A few times now

😊

Unless i tell you otherwise, i like/need your pressure and contact "after". So you on top of me, cuddling me, whatever. It's a lot of new stimulation and intensity and human touch and pressure helps me be calmer

I love that, and I'm glad you told me. I love holding you. It's such a satisfying feeling for me

I dont usually say anything feedback-wise for what i like and want. It makes me feel selfish and greedy. This is kind of nice though

😊

You can be selfish and greedy with me. I like it

Thank you 🙂

You're welcome lover

Okay i just used my inhaler and basically got dizzy from how much my lungs let air in

Hurray oxygenation!

Metal tray?

null

Good old O2!

Nice looking tray

Want it?

Is it sturdy? It looks like maybe it is

It is 👍

Is it nominally for cooking do you think, or some other purpoy

Purpose

I dont really know

Fair. I'll take it!

Yay!

Are you pro msu, indifferent, etc?

Disinterested is more like it

Gotcha thx

null

Vous le voulez?

Non merci

Da

null

?

? Indeed

What are these?

Designed to hold tealights or votives

Lol looks like an obstacle course for cats lol

2024-12-06T12:11:05

Nah, they're small-ish

It's a no, then?

No thanks!

2024-12-06T15:16:20

How is the day?

Hey babes!

It's been good

Just got back from an estate sale

It's tomorrow too if you wanna go

Ya busy?

Now, i mean

I'm at Kroger sorta

Sorta?

Okau shro

Just pulled in the parking lot

Hope it's tons of fun!

Whatcha getting?

Why, facial tissue of course

Hmmm how long would it take me to walk there....

Bahahahahahaha

Only the best

Well i happen to be alone for just a few hours

Yeah? L running SIL back home?

Oh no

She goes back Monday

They're going to Moana 2

OIC lol

Totally fine if you dont want to be the first and only one to make out on my couch though

Nbd

And im sure my back can rub itself

Omw

Wait, for real?

Mayyyyybe

Well fuck I'll leave the door unlocked then

2024-12-06T18:30:30

Heya

Why hello sweets

How ya doin?

Not t bad

My shirt smells like you lol

I love that

Awww

Got something to show you

Ugh oh am I in trouble

null

null

null

null

null

null

null

null

null

null

Those are from 10 years ago

null

null

null

null

null

null

null

null

null

null

Those are 14 years ago

So yes.... i used to be much smaller

WOW

Such a cutie then too! As if I thought it might be different lol

I definitely would have considered abducting you

And those are after I'd gained 40 or 50 pounds

null

null

Those are just 2 cool pics i took that i found

null

null

null

null

null

null

null

null

Wait I don't have 40 or 50 pounds what's that

null

Weirdo

Yes

Wait, yes was to what?

Hahahhaa

Wait, this is on my list

FR though, i have no idea what we're conversing about now

How are you my dear

Confused still

But okay thanks. Mostly.

How are you?

Just fine

I forgot part of the reason for adult step children here now is delayed birthday

Lol

But they will cook, which is awesome

Lol

And they got me a cool lathe tool so that's nice

Anyway, what did you say yes to just a bit ago?

Lathe tool is fun

So are lego ;)

And my buddy is at my side

null

Lol I'm fuzzier than he is

null

He wuvvvs you

I said yes

Because

Right

...

You're not going to tell me?? 🥺

Babe

There's a long birthday goofy thing going on

Sorry I had no time to go inform you earlier

Super fun!

I hope you enjoy it

This will go on for some more time maybe 30 ish

No worries

Seriously, enjoy

Ttys ❤️

Hey

Hey, what's up?

I'm a bit bewildered by all the ADD

ADHD

love it all but omg

Are you talking about me or about the people in your domicile?

The latter

They have one decibel and that's loud

Oh, no

And often, they talk amongst themselves and simultaneously

They did bring me cool things

And I appreciate that

What!!!

Holy moly tho

One sec though -

I age like 2 weeks when they come around

You know I'm more neurodivergent than sooooo many other people you'll ever come across, right?

I do not doubt it

Imagine three of you -- well, 2

Right

Having a conversation between your ND selves

I actually know how to facilitate that lol

But really, you have to imagine three of you talking simultaneously

Yeahhhhh no thanks

Hahaha

This is a thing here

I really want to be part of it now!

Usually it kills me lol

But they did me a solid and I appreciate it

Honestly the most I've felt in a long time

But
Don't

You
Fret

Tellllllll me

It's like a bad video game honestly

What part do you want to know?

And I can still smell

From your house

It's nice

1. What was "yes" earlier?

2. What was the solid they did for you?

3. Giftsases?

4. I hope you're sincere. I can be a little scent obsessive

I am sincere

I like being reminded of being with you ☺️

Oh yes

The yes

Right

Somehow you retain this 💕

You are not going to like my answer

I have zero recollection what i had even asked

Ok!

How is your vibe

Was it about height and weight ratios?

I am very weird suddenly

Perhaps needed fluids

I wish i could spend sooo much time with you rn

How are you?

I am feeling spiffy babe, no sarc

Haha you were asking why 😐 said weirdo

Idk where face man came from

I would really love to wallow in the sheets with you rn

Idk why you want to be so good to me

But I love it

And I love turning you on

You do an unbelievable job

I mean this nicely - you did the least good job today of any of the days and it was still fantastic

Ok
Yeah sorry

No sorry

Really

Really, no sorry

I hate that I ... Cant

Bc I want soooo much

I have fun!

I hate feeling like i cant put together a puzzle

That's me too

I hope you wont just give up with me

Really though, if there's literally anything you want or that i can do to help, I'm more than happy to

I dont want you resenting me for being the one who has more happy endings

Whoa whoa whoa

There are no hard or difficult feelings from me to you babe

I enjoy every moment and have no regrets

And I want so much for you to be happy

Does it really not cause you physical discomfort? Whej you don't... release

Maybe It's not like you imagine ?

I can try to explain

I am Soo Soo turned on by you

I love your touch

And how you feel close to me

And you do such nice things for me

And I feel all of that and it makes me crazy for you

It's like there's a chemical shutoff at the end of the line

That idk wtf this even came from

But I am positive

Because I think I know this part of my body and mind

The feels I feel for you are huge

And idk drugs killed the last mile so to speak

I don't like it

It makes me very self conscious

I am so sorry

And feeling like impotent

But hey

As it turns out

I can do things by myself, uh, with porn

So off you'll let me

If

Maybe I can find that vibe with you too

And I am totally serious that thinking about you

Fucking me fucking you

Sent me

And I wanna,!!!

I want soososoooosooosossooo many things with you

I'm kind of fading though

Drugs and stuff yknow

I really want to continue from this spot though please

Sweetest dreams, my favorite babe

null

null

Love you babe sleep well!

I love you too

You sleep well

 ​❤️​ to “ You sleep well ” 

2024-12-07T10:48:37

Good morning!

Hello!!

How goes it?

So far so good!

You?

What are you up to today?

Same. Not what I am going to do

Well there are a zillion things to do around town today if you need ideas

I'm omw downtown, you're always welcome to join me shopping, lunch cafe, whatever

 ​👍​ to “ I'm omw downtown, you're always welcome to join me shopping, lunch cafe, whatever ” 

2024-12-07T13:21:49

Hi, my phone is being weird. Wondering if you can see this text and whst time?

Yep, got it at 1321

Cool thx!

2024-12-07T17:23:28

Heyyyy

Hi babe! How was your expedition?

It was good!

How was your day? What trespassed?

Yay!

I am having a good day as well

I've been tidying up my hobby space, vacuumed too

Started my aquarium filter project

Which I kinda messed up on step one lol. I can fix it but it'll have to wait until tomorrow

2024-12-07T21:08:20

Sorry! Naptime called

Whay else went on today?

Yay! I hope you had a good nap!

I went to hardware store and Michaels in Frandor

And came home and continued filter project

Now am rinsing sand and other materials I will be using in the tank or filter

Cool, cool

Boys still there?

No they left mid afternoon

I also flipped my desk

Literally

But I took everything off first

And I put not much back

That's the good news

Ok...

null

Easy peasy

Tell meeeeee

Start with 3 piles: keep, goes out of the basement, discard

This makes perfect sense

Ty

You'll also need a scratch pad to check ink

Check ink

Cheque Inc.?

Wtf just happened

If it's questionable and cheap, you throw it away because you can easily and quickly replace it

Check ink in markers, pens, etc. If it's a flow you dislike or dried up then it's trash

Right on

I think I have most marking devices well constrained on the bench top

Comment va tu?

Comme ci comme ca

Et tu?

Ça va bien

Donc

Comment

Vaaaaa

Tuuui

Euh.... je ne le comprends??

Oh my!

What??

Well I wanted fannintutti

But here we are

I trust most things are smooth and nice for you?

Quite the double entendrist this evening, aren't we!

But maybe that's what all women want...

(See what i did there?)

OMG I didn't really mean it

The doublevay

Rntendreway

But i sure do wish you smooth and silky nights replete with tactile deliciousness

Strange choice of preposition

I preposition as I please

I mean pronoun, sorry

Imma lick you

Still?

Double

This is pleasing and a little confusing

I hope you can sooooooon

I aims to p&c

You aims too

Why do you like c?

Hold up gotta flip the record

Back

Can you rephrase question

The first question is how much meaning those pronouns had?

Pronouns, you say

Yes

You said "i sure do wish you smooth...."

Oh that's a lovely quote

And 100% true

As you may wish for such also

Damn

I think I'm realizing how much i overthink

Mmm

Ton prob

I have to mop this room lol

So you dont yet realize why i was alarmed at the knee jerk mini panic that that wish set off for me

Lol

I dunno

null

Choose 1 or 2

Because in my little abadoned-self brain, You only wanted those for me, not between us

Your mops are weird

I want best mop between us always

Now choose

Why weird?

Purpose of mop?

I thought they were halved

null

This is well ventilated and warm

Thanks

I meant i thought the absorbent part was in half

Anyway, i like op 1

100% factory spec

You like rope mop?

I think rope mop for firay pass, yes

First

Ope well I chose the wonder puff

The floor isn't that bad. I vacuumed it earlier today

Then good choice

Good times

Mopping complete!

So much better

Excellent

Woo!

😊

How are ya babe?

Okay, i think. You?

Doing well ty

What are you doing?

Trying to clean

Should probably take some meds and get a snack

And you?

Just cleaned up a record lounge find

Trying to fix my electroscope

What is?

Emmhmm

Which?

Yes

https://youtu.be/IYV4_O_9hN0?si=zuVrdYYwCL-lyP5q

Sorry this took so long

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Voobaha

100% sure this means nothing to you

Unless you are familiar with "fish heads"

Thanks for aharing anyway!

So the second reference plays a significant role in my adolescence

There was the dude "Andrew" in my French class in 7th grade

And for class trip we went to Québec City

Is thar kid you?

Via rail from Windsor

No, he went by Andrew

He was rich kid

I was poor baby

Keep in mind this was 1980

So he and I both had Walkman

Amazeballs tech

But he had the latest

And greatest

And he had this album on yape

I have no idea how

He always had wacked out shit

And this album was like the soundtrack for 7th graders en tour a Québec

And au train

Tres chouette et cool

Also

At the hotel Clarendon
Near chateau Frontenac

Band in the basement

Grand Cochon

Lolol

Mdr

Hmm?

Oll

It's French txt slang

Lol

Dying of laughter

Oh la la

Help meee

Merd?

Mort de rire

Dying of laughter

Oll

Oh la la

Comprends?

Lol

Well

Alors

https://youtu.be/cn73Wtem0No?si=lIa67MPp0PWUSwip

This is the track that got recognition

Not normal radio mind you

Have you heard of "lost in space"?

Yes

Perhaps you've heard "danger Will Robinson"

Right

One half of this band is the guy
Who was the kid
Will Robinson

Oh cool

Lol

It's absurd

Sooooooo

I really wish I could smother you about now

Oh weird, same

How would you smother me? Be descriptive

Clothes off

Blankets in

On

Do you prefer to be face up or down?

Kinda depends on the rest of the scenario. Probably up

I just want to lay with you

Close

That sounds really nice

I really want to hold you all night long

I hope that happens

https://open.spotify.com/track/4ie6eNxW4v22HshVoKN2yS?si=9UCudSoXTVSz712fHzsZYQ

Lol me and my mates sang this

At BLFAC

senior year

There is video somewhere

I think? It was 1986 so sweet

No there's a Polaroid

Maybe I have it idk

Awwww

Edgy

Lol

Ololol

And a few more for the lady

Ol
Ol
Ol

Well lol

Hahaha

Here we are

Yes

Tell me something

And here we are not

Always

I read all of Dewey 520

Twice

By age 10

That's amazing!

Did you know why? Like, did you want to do anything with the info

That check out stamp?

That was me

I just loved astronomy

My parents bought all kinds of field guides

Birds

Flowers

Insects

Stars

Love em all really

But the stars really grabbed me

I love field guides

Yes

They are so good

I always pick them up when i see them

I should have anticipated that lol!

Si

So

Yes?

You seemed very happy

When you claimed that you had me figured out

When was this?

Friday

Roughly 36 hours ago

Really?

I do not remember this

But please continue

Yes you seemed well pleased

And rightly so

What was it?

We were talking about figuring out people

And you claimed

How quickly you figured me out

Sorta

I need so much more information

You were actually present

With me

I believe you

No worries

I just loved the way you said it

And you were spot on

You made a face even

Cute af

What did i figure out, then

I member things good

You informed me

That you accurately assessed my status

And you were correct!

Status ... ???

Dammit I should have got sherbet

My status

I believe the phrase you used was

I bet he eats out

How did you know?

Ohhhhh that one!

Am I that slutty?

I kind of just "knew"

You also weren't boastful or conceited or big headed about anything

You seemed genuinely nice and caring

And i could picture you in bed. It's just something i can do

Ty that makes me feel squishy

Lol

What were your sexual impressions of me?

Mmm

You took me to your office

And closed the door

And told me to sit on your desk facing you

And idk what happened next

Not quite

I think you took advantage of me

When you pulled my hair, I forgot who I was

But you were so impatient

"no more talking" you said

Yet here we are

Yes

You stuffed my face right into your belly

I didn't know... Am I supposed to go north.. or South?

But you were hungry

Even after I did eat you anyway

2024-12-08T09:03:54

GMorning

2024-12-08T12:57:52

Oh my goodness I slept til 1300!!

Yep

Wow

Wasn't expecting that

Lol

Imma get one of those rolling carts with plastic bins to replace my pile of sundries

null

Love the Ō

Great choice!

2024-12-08T17:10:56

Hi

O hai

How've you been?

Pretty good
Making headway on filter

How is it going?

Meh. I think ok

What are you doing with your week off?

Well I'd love to have you for lunch

And I will be working on the aquarium

And I have more organizing to do

And really want to visit Okemos h4h

Williamston...?

I'm all yours wednesday & Thursday

If you'd like to come over tomorrow after work, you're welcome to (just for a few hours)

Yay!

Maybe we can go to hab together

Rehab lol

My angelic twin

Angelic??

I would love to do that and much more with you

Yay!

null

I do not

Yeah Imma put me rocks into them

This is way over my head

null

Okayokayokay

That makes way more sense

Please look again at your first description

My what now

What kind of bags

As you can see, I've washed a tub of me balls

Orgasm bags I believe

Not so much

Too scratchy

We call that 'exfoliant'

Bye bye folia

WESCR@CHU

I think i need to lay down

OK

well I hope you have a nice nap

Wont be a nap, i am just overstimulated

Understood
Np

Why do you say understandable?

I can easily imagine myself in a place where I would feel overstimulated

Oh. Yes.

Today was just worse. And i am dreading tomorrow for no real reason

It's a thing, the Sunday scaries

I have to go to the office, that's one thing

Probably be on phones

It honestly makes me want to call in and/or quit

Tuesday is our "team" "party" and i am not prepared at all and sont want to go to that either

I feel like work is just descending me into madness faster and faster

Tis the season, but yes I agree

It isn't work so much as the infringing i feel now

The CBRs typically got around 200 - 250 calls a day between them

There are now 500+ every day

I told them valid reasons there would be more and they just kept saying "yeah, we cant figure out why it's so busy with calls now"

:/

I am in kitchen duty mode for a little bit

2024-12-08T22:37:25

Kiss your neck now

I sleep now

2024-12-09T00:45:21

https://photos.app.goo.gl/xjiDiq5PVrpGdmiE6

Finally, self portraits I don't hate!

Ill check them out in the morning, thanks! Sweet dreams

2024-12-09T07:18:33

Hey lovedoodle!

null

That's olliecat last year. Literally up in the tree, like a foot from the top

null

Current status

2024-12-09T09:57:29

Nice reindeer :)

Oh it's a whole look

null

Are you busy around 5?

Most likely not

Wanna get dinner? Go somewhere? Sneak into the office and find me?

Yeah!

For real?

I want to something! I'll see what's possible a little closer to time

Cool cool

Well I'm downtown chez AFG if that means anything. I can/will meet wherever

Might even trick you into going to WM or 5B to find some subpar gifts

Woo!

2024-12-09T13:14:31

Literal nonstop calls. 11 in queue with 0 available rn

Ive been told to stay on phones and get to my work "eventually"

Fuuuuuccccckkkkkkk this noise

How are you?

I am doing well

Sorry work is such a pit

You have no idea

Anyway, was there a decision on this evening? You can pass altogether

If I can escape for a minute I will :)

Right

Do you know when you might know?

Just trying to plan

Should be fine, but I won't be able to stay out long.

Any ideas for what we're doing?

Remember when you said you didn't think fake meat was a good idea for me? Howcome?

At that moment I think I was thinking about the unknown spice factor... Maybe?

Mmhmmm

Or maybe the high sodium content

Na na na

Did you know i require more sodium than average?

Na!

Chronic hypotension

Super fun

What's your verdict?

Na

You can have some of my hypertension

Where do you want me to meet you and when?

What did you want to do?

Idk. Quick bite? Quick store trip?

Yeah that's cool

Still fine if you dont want to do anything either

Im still livin it up downtown (but jot so much)

Quitting time....ish. yayyyy

So am i headed chez moi, chez vous (lol), or somewhere else?

Au ma voiture?

Overall

Just need to know my next move

I am in front of the building

For real?

Your next move is to enter my vehicle

Yeah

Ooooh tricky

Let me mark down my escape!

I can pull in the circle drive any moment

Je viens

Thank you again!!! I hope your car still has all its parts. Sorry my neighborhood driveways suck

Lol

Well does it?

Idk, but I did get home so there's that

Well yes, that's always a plus

Please go take my shower for me

That's a new one lol

Might have accidenrally rubbed my leg a little raw today on one side

null

Im like a damn cricket

Dang dude

Yeah.... the phones arent for me i guess

I think i really will take a shower now

Feel welcome to leave me a very detailed itinerary of your choicest ideas for the upcoming days that you have me all to yourself

Perhaps more of a menu

There's get high and fuck

Optional porn viewing

There rehab

For people like us

There's get lunch and take a nap lol

I asked what youuuuuuu want off this menu

Or any secret menu there may be

I'll take all of the above

Good with me!

And I should look in earnest for a gift for rlh

I am still way too overstimulated from today and would just love to fuck out brains out rn

Do you need ideas?

I'm always pro mega mall lol

I do need ideas

And i have massive online search skills

Make or purchase?

Purchase

Practical, sentimental, fun?

I'd say practical or sentimental

Sorry, no

Practical or fun

I short circuited

What activities does she like?

She's mostly un-activity

Painting, reading, watching movies, textiles, stained glass, latch hook rugs, calligraphy, etc? Or something she's expressed interest in? A recent series she's fallen in love with, word puzzles....

Silly me just remembered I'm supposed to be making something for her and Toni

Basically a simple wood frame , but with nails all around the top face, for yarn work and maybe string art?

So I have the tacks (nails) now

But I need to pick out wood

Rehabitat?

Def worth a look!

Back in a bit

2024-12-09T22:07:45

Sorry about that

Np

2024-12-10T05:53:08

null

Hey you!

Hello

What's up?

Just you babe!

Awww

Why are you awake?

Lol that's a reasonable question

I just woke up early

What are you doing today?

Some cleaning (upstairs probably) and trying out some new gadgets on the lathe

Good luck on the line today!

Line, lunch, team event

https://open.spotify.com/track/4uLnk7e2JHxDP9eG7vXyPq?si=Or8tBcEWSciLlLZclChMiA

Lol

Apparently i was mistaken yesterday... there were 9 of us answering phones. All day. The whole company.

Wtaf

Yep

I am super shaky this morning

I dont love that

Just imagine me laying on you

Ohhh i wish

I just want to make it stop

2024-12-10T10:05:57

Omg kill me now

But hey, kmow what today is??

What is it?

2024-12-10T11:31:57

Dewey decimal day

Yay!!!

null

Soooooooooo

Yoooooo

Whatcha doin?

Lathin and makin coffee hbu

Ripping my hair out and multilotsatasking

Hoping you're daydreaming about... stuff

You mean like stripping plucky, cute goth girls and having my way with them?

2024-12-10T15:51:12

Ummmmm

I escaped! Sort of

Want some maybe good news?

Hope youre gaining tons of weight to lay on me

Oh I'm a pig for sure

Nah mate

But I'm still super shaky and it fucking annoying

Wow

What do you reckon is going on?

Adrenaline

Dang girl I am sorry

Its totally fine, imliterally jist excited and happyish now

Annnnnyway

Yes!

Did you want the maybegood news?

It's either good or neutral

Yes please

L has his date night with your fave tomorrow night

Aye?

Mr B whassup wassup

You understand these implications?

https://youtu.be/llGJheQnkDQ?si=85COtIvT7kWmfy9J

In a bowling alley, so i can check that later

Anyway, proper implications?

We change the locks and tell L he's on his own now

Wellllll

It means i have 12 hours

You rock

You. Can. Have . Them.

Yay!

Ok I need to think about my escape plan. I think she has an appointment tomorrow but I'm not sure when

Sounds like you should find that out

Like now

Thursday too?

It's not entirely material when the Appt is but it will help to know

Don't worry babe

But i have to know when to be ready

Would you prefer 10, 12, or 14 heures?

24

Me too

Meeee tooo

But at which time would be convenient for me to arrive?

My wife is at Frandor. Quite possibly Kroger

Wanna bet she doesn't buy anything she just asked me to put on my list?

null

I am finally home :)

I am so sorry for neglecting you, babe

I swear it was unavoidable

No worries babe!

Well then, what'll it be?

It'll be what now?

What do you want to do tomorrow?

Heyyy

So

Before noon is best eta

Hours free

After 9am for me is good

Perfect

But what do you want

Let's see

I'll have the you

And a little extra you

Hmm

Do you desire a materially productive way

*day

Or a self help kind of day

I want to know very expressly what you want tomorrow

I'm revolting

Nope

I'm acting up

No, you're not

Step 1 - you get here

Step 2 - ??

Yep

Yes exactly!

You are very smart, but you knew this already

Did you just want a list of what my very greedy self wants if you let me?

Oh yes please

You're serious?

Inebriate

Spend time in bed

Make out

You go down on me

You find more fun places on or in me with your fingers. Press in and up with one hand and down on me with the other

You take my porn virginity

You get ultra hard

We have sex

I get filled

You calm me down when i shake

I get a back rub somewhere in there

What else?

My kinda hump day!!!

Deal

See you around 10?

Sure

What're you doing between now and then?

Listening to music, fixing my filter lol which I just broke, and perhaps finishing a file handle I turned an hour ago

And yiut

Yooooo

Cleaning

Will take a shower. For you.

Just started a massive headache so idk what to do about that

Any idea yet what mood tomorrow might be?

So in love and missing you!

Awwwsss

So no idea between more sexual or sensual

This I cannot predict

But i assure you I will come with a spirit of adventure

Heh

Hahaha

I'll tell you that i actually feel a little strange rn. Nervous, i think

I feel needy. I want to be loved and feel it. Crazy amounts of kisses all over me. You know the places

Can you tell me why you're nervous?

I can't wait to bestow many kisses upon you and all over you

I dont know why

Ok

You can always tell me if it helps to talk

I am looking forward to kissing your delicious neck

Thank you

Yes please

Yes

And perhaps licking it as well

That sounds good

Do you want to watch porn?

Yes

Sure? I feel weird asking, but that might just be me still trying to shed old ways of thinking

I already said so, if you dont believe me. It's in my list

Just know i dont know what my reaction might be

And i dont know what to do

No worries

No expectations either

And it can always be shit canned if we don't like it

I want to give you a very broad overview of porn, based on my sentiments

To make this less mysterious and hopefully more approachable

Okay, yes please

Ok good

I put porns (?) in three or perhaps four categories, which are kinda mutually exclusive, but not entirely so

Ok

Categories are

Sensual
Explicit
Derogatory

Another flavor is production value, which is really across all lines but can influence the experience

I definitely lean toward sensual and explicit, and usually shun derogatory

What are some explicit types?

There's no judgement

Usually very close-up anything. Can be solo f or multiple people

What about content? I know it's not "for the plot" but what do you like and not like?

It really depends on the day

Mf or FF massage

Girls showing off

Ffm or sometimes mmf action

Trope is the word i wanted

Sometimes I go tropeless

In public even

Lol

I don't always want a "plot"

But sometimes, sure

Dommy mommy landlord

Fix it guy at your service

Hey let's just fuck on the beach

All manner of step- sis/mom/dad etc

How are you going to decide what we watch tomorrow?

I will suggest something and if you don't like it we move on

I want you so so so much rn

Aww

I can't wait to see you!

I can't wait either

How are you feeling now?

I dont really know

Mostly okay

I can kind of identify why I'm nervous, i think

Anything you want to say about it?

It's like I'm trying to tell myself I'm allowed to ask for what i want and I'm allowed to want to feel good

Yes, yes you are

I'll be honest that I'm still not convinced all the way

I know

But guess what

I like when you talk to me or ask me things

What?

❤️

Tomorrow is safe day

Non judgemental

Do as suits you

I kind of thought they all werw with you

Ofc

Yes they are

Did you mean something different?

Either answer is fine

Nope, that's exactly what I meant

It was just a reminder

Thank you

Do you understand though that there are a decent amount of things that i probably wont say because of how judged i already feel? Not from you, even, just from myself

You bet I do

It's ok

This is where we are

I have mixed feelings on some of those acts anyway

Well

What's done is done.

Let whatever part of it go that you want to

Remember whatever part you want to remember

From here, and move on

It's not that, actually

It's more like I'm curious but anyone id want to try with probably wouldn't do the things anyway? Unvisciois viscious logic

Lol

You're always welcome to tell me about these things, if it helps

I feel like I inadvertently created a no-fly zone of topics by telling you about my sexuality "boundaries"

I think it would be exceptionally hot to be controlled (?) By you in some ways

Yeah?

Yes

Like very literally controlled, up close and personal?

I think i already told you i want to be pinned down or pressed against a wall

Very literally, but some things are just a flat no

You clasp8ng your hand over my mouth

Maybe we need more explicit bedroom talk

Grab me and flip me or maneuver my limbs or whatever

Lol I like hearing you chirp

But I get it

I want to feel more passion from you

I like that you like me making noise

:)

I'm game!

Might be a little awkward at first

But I trust

I'm not used to dirty talk believe it or not

Why awkward?

What do you trust?

I have no idea how to dirty talk

I trust you will understand this is me with passion expressed differently than I am used to, but it's genuine

So I might be awkward-er lol

I am awkward as fucckkkk

You know this

I don't think so actually

Lol

We're both so awkward

Let's fuck like bunnies

I can't wait

Maybe like bunnies

But maybe I'll want slower

I have no idea rn

I usually do

Slow and deep

I do like feeling every millimeter of your vagina

I dont think youve gone as slow as i ultimately want yet. Is that okay?

That's ok!

I'm surprised I'm a good way

How?

I just didn't sense you wished for slower

Totally cool though

Well maybe I did sense it a little?

When I first penetrate you

Like, first ever or first of the day?

First of the day

Perhaps I could take a little more time?

I want slower than slow. Like, very literally mm by mm

Oh yummy!!!

I didnt think you'd want that

Not to worry babe

It's not always top of mind in the moment

But

There's a lot to enjoy

When we both get to react to
Every
Fucking
Mm

Yesssss

I really wabt to feel you all the way in, then just a little more after i adjust to your entrance

Oh wow babe

Fuck

The way i imagine it, your hands will be up above my shoulders, by my ears, you slide all the way in, hold while i breathe you in, we have eye contact, then close them so we can kiss. You raise yourself back up and tilt your shoulders up and back to gain that extra push through your hips. Then you watch my face as you go deeper than anyone else, ever

My legs are weak now and i have no doubt theyll shake when you do this

Mmmmmm

I want to feel you twitching outside and inside

I want you to hit the spots you know how to fins

And i want to help you find new ones

Yes yes yes

Ok I am at once fading and super geeked about tomorrow!

I've going to get some sleep

Good luck

null

Thank you lol

You sleep well - i love you too

null

 ​❤️​ to “ You sleep well - i love you too ” 

2024-12-11T09:24:54

Hiya

Hey sweetie

How's it going?

Good good

I'm going to get in the shower soon and then on my way to you!!

Toni just got here

The girls are going to lunch

Oh i see

I just git out of the shower lol

Dang I missed it

Lol

Am i supposed to be telling you you can come over?

Can I come in and play?

Are you already here?

On my way now

Sure thing

2024-12-11T17:09:42

I made it!

Thx again for food and fun ... It was fabulous

Same to you!

Like.... yikes and wow and nonsense

Cant wait to hear the highlights of the day

Well I know the highlight of my day, without question, was playtime with my mistress

Oh silly boy.... i want to know what the highlights if that were, of course

What do you have on repeat in that imagination?

Fucking you from behind is one

Im so glad you liked that

I have a yoga mat ee can bring out if you need more traction

Heyy! That sounds fun

Anything else?

I immensely enjoyed finding different ways to wiggle deep into you :)

I thought weve only ever just found 2. Color me intrigued

Moreso moving your hip position, and some for me as well. Or maybe I just felt it even more today.

Today was amazing and fantastic and so much more

Yay! I agree!

This will sound dumb

You didnt seem to stick with a rhythm that i could tell. Were you just doing things because they felt good? I mean, without an endgoal as soon as you penetrated?

Yeah, you're basically right. I wanted to go slow and feel all the feels

And when you signaled something ofc that was fun too!

And I have never but never dropped so much sweat on someone ever 🥹

Im sorry i broke you!!!

I'll work next time and you can be the pillow princess

I have never, ever had slow like that. I dont even have words for how wonderful it was

I'm not complaining, you know

It sounds great to me

When do you think you hit deepest, which part did you feel best at/in/from?

Deepest I'm not sure precisely but I think it was about mid way sesh 1

"Best" was kinda early on-- I truly thought I was on a glide path to orgasm, but the special twinge kinda faded. That is 100% the snri(?)

But even without that, it was still fabulous

Don't doubt it

I'll try

Because I can still feel a lot

A lot

Every way you squeeze

Where you're soft, where you're firm

It's cool af

You're the first one who's ever said that. As in, i didnt know it was a thing

Is that in every girl?

I'm guessing yes? But it's a matter of degree too. And you feel particularly exciting :)

Fuuucccckkkkkkk

Ikr?

There should be a gerund for that

I wish i could adequately explain just how massive a good (idk a word...influence? guide? partner?) you've been

Oh I'm so glad

I felt like I could help

How could you feel that though?

Because I felt like you wanted something I had to give

Yes. I still want more if that's okay

Hell yeah sister

2024-12-12T08:29:19

null

2024-12-12T10:01:17

Hey babes

Heya!

How's it going?

Good good

And you?

Doing okay

Is anything wrong?

Nope. Just woke up.

Ok :)

You must have actually slept!

Kinda

Plans?

I was kinda thinking about coming over and picking up where we left off lol

It's a possibility

Tell me what works for you

I'm open for anything really

Do you want to go somewhere? We could go to h4h

Im also open for most things. Just have to get out of bed first lol

Haha okay

If you get to pjck today's activities?

Let's go shopping :)

I'm ok taking a break from the bedroom... Even though I'd really like to pound you I'm noticeably sore. Nbd, but will feel better tomorrow and maybe we have a window of opportunity

Are you sure? I still crave that load you promised. But I'm also ok with a break

Tbh no I'm not sure, but I think I will have a better chance at giving you that load after a short break

Ok. It's okay to change your mind later too

Ok good :)

null

I guess I'll break this up

Aww!

I just need a time please

Sure no prob

A time.... like, when you want to be here. Plz.

Is 1230 too soon?

Not even close to too soon

11 is prob the earliest

Ok well I can be there 1130 if that suits you

I am good anytime after 11. You tell me after that

I'll see you at 1145 lol

Lovely !

null

null

Everybody knows your room is the best room!

Awww

No, they just love making biscuits on squishy aoft mommy

Me too!

Lol i know

Do you have a fave flower aesthetically?

And i might be a few late being ready

Ok I'm here

Coming in or am i coming out?

I'll come in

2024-12-12T17:39:12

Thank youuuuuuu for today

I really wish i could give this to you

null

Iz wallet

Iz catses!

Yez

You want?

I wish I could think of something to do with it

You hang on to it for me

Okay!

That text message was the pharmacy. They already refilled my Viagra prescription

I guess I should take it more often lol

Mmmmm

Did you yesterday?

Yep

Not today tho

Thank you for coming with me today

Of course!

It was you favoring me.... again

Yes

Favoring?

Doing something nice for

Yes

I like Thrifting with you

Really? 🤭

Idk why it's different. When I am shopping with spouse I lose my mind

Do you want to know why?

I actually do want to know

I think it's a few things

Sharing memories each of us is new to and different nostalgias

I am creative and clever with repurposing and knowing things and ideas

I like spending yime with you no matter what

I never expect anything

I buy my own stuff

I dont really care about values or money or material stuff. I know the things but dont really care

Plus I'm kinda fun

And cute lol

All the above

Awsss

You agree ?

I do agree, yes

There's something else. I can't put my finger on it now, but I will figure it out eventually

I think there's a factor of you and i licing in a happy fantasy ecistence together

I.e. the live laugh love room

That definitely is part of the fun!

😊

2024-12-12T19:39:23

Thought of something(s) else

Yeah?

Yeah

Tell me more that you want first. We can go one for one

Arrgh! Lol

Hmm

If we can used to the idea of jerking off in front -- which would be a whole thing in itself so I will rest with that answer.

In front of each other I mean

Not in the front yard

Yes, with a caveat

Sorry for the delay

One of mine....

I want harddddd fucking at some point. Like, really give it to me kind of style. I didnt say violent but.... i think you get it?

Yes I do!

You might have to get me coked on on caffeine and or weed but hells yeah

I just tried to type another reply... On my laptop

Anyhoo

I think I felt much more able to harder when I was standing on the floor

Okay, cool

Yesterday?

Yes!

Not to praise myself, but was it just that my ass was RIGHT THERE for you?

Hahaha

As I'm sitting here thinking

"Plus that ass of yours is so fine. I damn near got on my knees for you "

I mean, you can ;)

O I will, no worries

Pardon the awkward but, um, for what? I have ideas but you tell me first lol

To lick you prolly

I think that's the best plan I've heard in at least a day

Twins :)

Yeah I would love to eat you from behind

Oh for real? I was thinking my

Maybe that too

Maybe what??

I didnt finish the sentence....

I might lick your asshole

It's really easy to do from that angle

Is that something you want to do? Have you done it before? Does it weird you out at all?

I've only done it a few times , and I would say it was 66.7 parts accident and 33.3 parts curiosity. And the curiosity persists.

Have to attend spouse

20 min maybe?

You do you babe

Hello

Hiya

Made a quick stir fry and combo

But I'm baaaaack

Combo?

Oops! S/b convo

Light conversation

Mmhmm

So back to our convo

The spicy sort

Oh yes I remember

Tell me more. Tell me all about your thoughts in this area (pun intended)

Ah yes

I fancied flicking my tongue on her asshole once or twice

For sure it's a sensitive area

Got giggles, but not really a let's go butt s x now vibe

No pun intended lol

Pas entendre

Did you just censor that!?

Sometimes that happens and idk if it's the autocorrect or somehow me missing the letter. But e and space are pretty far apart

So idk

But the word is "sax". You know, as in butt-saxophone

null

You're welcome

Okay good. Thought so.

TIL s x is a great placeholder

7 indeed

Lol

Sux

Ma bebe gonna be "Syx"

Focus!

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Lord

Ok what is the question

Do you know the term we're kind of describing?

Sox?

Yes

What are YOU wearing?

In that area? Nothing

Liar

null

I stand corrected

Brave of you babe!

I realized that as i sent it

Actually kinda was

 ​❤️​ to “ Actually kinda was ” 

Say what you will

Dude you got feet pics fo' free

Yes! And I am grateful!

Ew. You feel welcome to delete them

No worries babe

I feel like there's a very niche market i could charge a lottt to

Only fans babe

Maybe more of a Fansly fetish here tho

OF does not like extremes

I happen to know theres an only feet dot com

No doubt in my mind

I'm not a foot guy tbh

But respect

This is a trauma few have even thought about

Oh thank hades

Let alone experienced

Wait, what's trauma?

Fr

What one?

Losing a digit

You're "deformed" now right?

Mind you I'm indifferent

Kind of was before too?

But yeah. It took a toll fir a while

It's been taking a toll on you until 2024 as far as I can tell

At some level anyway

But you broke out today, just a few minutes ago

Do you think you can put that demon to bed? At least for a while

Brb

I havw deliverately shown you my feet before.

You are 1 of 4 people who arent medical staff and who arent me

Yep

You didn't know that before

Sorry-yes you deliberately showed me

I dont know what to think now

No worries babe

We got detoured

Because "six" is hard

Anyway, yes

Back to quasstions

Right

So ass licking

Thumbs up?

Lol

Or just licks

You tell me more first

I promise i will answer

It doesnt weird you out?

I hasn't yet?

Im asking youuuuu

And as a data-minded person I will tell you that the absence of information cannot be described quantitatively

"yes" and "no" are merely ways to describe the set (0, 1)

Yes, my binary babe

Right on

The concept, then, of intentional ass licking is _________ to you (use an adjective)

I believe the words I used are "a curiosity"

Yes. I remember. I want a different one.

What makes you curious about it?

Why are you curious maybe?

Something something amino acids

Lol idk

Why do I want to wear girls underwear?

Because theyre sexy and usually feel nice

Do you want to see how I'd react or something else?

Well sure

Ok okay

Plus I think you've dropped hints that you might want butt play

But I could be wrong

But there is that picture

Can you tell me why you think all of that? And what do you think i would say if you asked? Or just did it?

Sorry it's no all around

But I would very much want to know your were ok with whatever I might do

Or maybe I have a weird butt psychosis

Why is it no?

Im typing out a reply rn btw

I feel silly

Did not mean to get hung up on this topic

I want it. All of it. I didnt think you'd be okay with it so i didnt say anything because i didnt want to seem realllly weird. Ive had it before and i fucking love it. The area between that and pussyland? Never had that done but it's ultra appealing. Id like to try some doubling with you and with a toy or a plug or anything else you think is okay. I do want to try some butt6ing (lol). I want licks and fingers and your dick and idk what else

And yes, I'm okay with whatever you do

I might side eye something but usually i legit sont understand why YOU would like it or how it would work logistically

Ok wow! Ty

1000%

If I'm not confident that it'll be neutral if not enjoyable for you then I'll steer you elsewhere

I would like to know thoughts and reaction and questions now please

So I appreciate all of this

Because I really just want to be curious

And explore

And you basically adopted me as my mentor

And tbh I do not know if I will really like it love it

But I don't want to reject it without really knowing

And all of that is perfectly fine. Good.

And I can assure you I will be overly cautious!

Because I know how I am about it now

Not sure how to react or if I really like it on me

I can and will try or you can say no. Fingers, licks, a thumb (for real).... i like almost everything on me. It's very strange

From watching porn

I understand there are a few camps in this regard

Or maybe just two

Boys and girls who legit enjoy it

And boys who like dishing it out where it's super unclear about the girl

I think there's a 3rd, at least irl

Ok sure

Do you know?

No I don't

It's the connnnnnnnnstant baby whines of iwannaiwannaiwanna vs nonononononono and the girl part is not unclear

All because I might accidentally lick you lol

Ok fair on your call

Yea

I think im about to tell you something kinda funny about you that i dont know if you know

See this is riding the line of abuse

Well fuck

Nvm

But maybe still the funny thing

So it's harder for me to talk about at low level detail

Ok I'm not a snowflake I can take the joke

It's a true life thing about you. And me.

Ohh
Wait now you have my attention

Which i think also means you dont know

Which is making me actually lol

Oh noes

I don't know

Lol

It's not a big thing at all

But ummmm

Youve had your finger in my ass before and i dont think you knew you did it

Oh fuck I lold

Hahahahahahahahaha

Well?

Dammit I want to know when this was

You were on the floor i think if that helps

Yesterday?

No. A few weeks ago

I'll be

And you waited to tell me

I am cracking up

You licked your fingers off after you got done with them climaxing me

Fuck me

Well yes

I'm not going to say

That is so fucking hot

So it is or is not hot?

It is

I wish I could actually remember that moment

Because no, I did not know

I figured

Heheh

OMG I'm dying

How often do you make a production of licking off your fingers?

Like tiny damn riblets

Hand spread in front of your face

Literal finger licking good

So?

It tastes good

That was the first time i saw you do it

No way

Not that recently really?

Keep in mind it's been less than 3 months since dewitt

It's not like I hide it

Im always a little spacey

Hell I would stick my fingers in you again just to get another lick

....."after"

I always think i taste bad

And am smelly

And dirty

I will literally eat you

You don't taste bad in any way

Seriously you seldom have any real flavor at all

A bit lemony at times, which is delicious

I will die on this hill

You do an outstanding job with the hygiene

Jsyk

I should have said that a long time ago

Are you being serious? Like, not sarcastic?

null

I'm being serious 100%

It is an immense pleasure to love your pussy with my mouth

Excellent tank

I dont know how to believe you and i hate that

I know how

If you're up for it

You tell me and then i will tell you something that makes me more embarrassed than almost anything else

I will absolutely soak my face and fill my mouth with your pussy goodness and

Kiss your mouth and neck and give you lots of ways to try it out

Also random

Was 69 new to you? With me?

Um why 69 you may ask

PO girl she typin

I'm licking my phone

You've done that before though, right? You go down and then kiss me

69 was new-ish

Never succeeded before you. Usually ended (started) with me flipping out because i couldnt breathe and so it wasn't a reciprocal mutual thing

Lol phones are dirrrrrrty

So actually yes

Unclothed and 69 was new

Why do you ask?

Just trying to keep things straight

In my head

What else do you want clarification on?

I think I'm good!

What else

I'm shameless now

Fuck I need to quiet down

I think me too

Well no, but i WANT you to ask me all sorts of things and i will tell you and maybe you can shame-judge them with me

I still am curious about any fuckeduppery you want to explore

null

Fuckeduppery you say

Yes

Ok

Heh

Get this right

Vegetable

Insertion

You want that in whom?

That would be you

Yes

Oh wait

YES

pending vegetable choice

Insert absurd vegetable insertion expectations here

You know how "big" i am

Apparently lol

What veg ideas were you toying with?

Oops wait I jumped the track to anal insertion

Back me up

I'm dead lol

Oh. Um

Aubergine

Non

Yes

Just more cautiously

Are you sure?

Pas d'aubergine

I said aubgergine

But you said yes

So aubergine it is

Ba

By

🍆

Anyhoo

I'm expecting a delictable and healthy snack

For our mid day sex break

I am a teensy bit confused now

Also, brb. Need drugs.

Oh noes

Ok

Back

Hieeeee

What now?

Well

We've plumbed that bob

I know you want to know more

I do

Unless it's time for a nap or proper sleep

Lolz

No

You need to answer questions

Organic required or no?

Root veg only or all hands on

Organic is just marketing

Most veg are prob ok

NOT A PEPPER

Oh god

No

Oh god no

So is aubergine off the menu then

Same family you know

No capzaisin or capsicum. It's fine

I think it might be too soft?

No breaking veg

Oh like what?

BREAKING VEG

Idk if that's an action series or a 6 o'clock news segment

My thought is that an aubergine could easily crack off and break in me if it gets thrusted at a weird angle

And no thank you

Ofc

Peppermint stick?

I don't actually recommend this

Or the "veggie" jerky

A nice parsnip?

Or carrot

Supposed to be good for me

Vitamin P

Remind me again where the veg is going

And it's purpose(s)

Answer is still yes

Um

I'm off the deep end really

Would you prefer a snow cone?

Nope

Not frostbiting anything down there

Maybe a honey bun

Can you feel when i gag on you?

I have only noticed a couple times honestly. Ever

Oh interesting

I did it yesterday and today the most ive done with you

Hmm

Are you trying to downplay it?

Now or during?

During, but both really

Lol I drove you through my childhood neighborhood

Why?

Neither do i

Oh. Kind of maybe? I know you might like it more so i downplay it because it's weird for me and i want you to not feel bad

Idk if that makes sense

I loved that part

I really wish we could mess around there

Hahaha

Really

Mess around

Yeah

Maybe ol' Burcham park still has some secluded spots

Maybe

That would be so fucking wild

I want to

I might have 2 sad -ish things to say now but dont want to bring you down

I do sorta think about quasi-public space fucking

Have def done that

Would also with you

Heheh

I love naughtt

Naughty

Big difference

Seriously - a few too many times at the groesbeck place with a meadowy field thing and wooden walking place and streams and wooden benches and stuff

I have no idea where it is or what it looks like in the light or how to get there

Not a flippin clue

Oh rly

Alrighty then

100000%

Fuck me

Also i will never do this again in such a vacant and public space, but the school parking lot down the way from me

And in an msu classroom

And yes, frandor roads and yes, THAT thing, and yes, actively driving

And yes, the back seat while his girlfriend was driving because she suggested it too

null

Wait so you were fucking in a car while the dudes GF drove you around?

Lol

Yes

949 & 954

Idk the reference

.jpg

Oh, me

Yes

But yes, did that all over lansing

Damn

Hottie

Lol

I want you

I want you too

But all I have is a dick that's usually limp and I can't come anyway

Dont say that!

I mean it's true in a way

But

I like to slurp on you so there's that

So these two the

Then

null

Hmm?

Yes

Did you realize my eyes are closed in both?

Especially 954

I didnt realize that

Kinda makes sense to me

null

I forgot something at your house

I dont really like my own eyes in pics - they never look straight on

You could be thinking of anything

You look sensual

What?

Ty I appreciate the feedback

It is difficult for me to take self-portraits I am comfortable with

Yea

I know 1 thing

I forgot

But ditto

What do you know

You forgot what you forgot?

Lol no I remember it

Okay

??

I forgot to share my silky undergarment with your hands

My upper underlayer

Awwww

And i wore nothing for you

Silk is really sensual

As are yoyt

You

Ty

So this question of pretty or ...?

Emmhmm?

I dont know

You are indeed pretty

So worthy

So delightful and a delight as well

I've never ever felt freer to say what's on my mind

Or respond to a question without censoring myself

Im very, very glad

And thank you

I am trying to kind of unquestion a lot of questions. You help way more than you know

That makes me happy

All of I have to give is yours

Same back to you

I wont accept it all, jsyk

Don't cross me girl lol

I am kidding

I just want you to benefit any and every way

That is possible

And if I am around and it helps

Please pull me in

I would like to more times than you know or realize

Whew

You are so precious to me

Not for purely selfish reasons

Well they are actually

I dont actually understand

All selfish

Your well-being means a lot to me

Well in every sense

And I am so happy when you tell me you did a good thing for the first time

Like?

I haven't though

Like you felt a certain way or something

Oh waitasec

I'm about fucking drunk and half crying

But realizing it.

So I'm a bit emotional

It's ok actually

What's wrong?

I just love you

Nothing is wrong

I just want you to know you can lean on me

Okay, I'm sorry

No no

No sorrt

Sorry

Okay

I want to lean on you

Ok you can!

If i want to tell you something kind of awful that you're helping fix?

I just realized another thing about it too

I wont say it until you're okay with it

I appreciate you being soft with me

I want to be your rock [hard] reference

I have more portraits

It's a learnes practice of decenxy that i wish more people knew

Or is this too much

No, not too much

Lol it will take a minute

Sure

You want me to wait to tell you, right?

The repairs you're doing on me

You don't have to wait babe

That is sooooo much More important

Then i want to tell you something negative

Ok

Ive been raped on my bed before.

Youre helping dull those memories

And i can sort of use that word

I am sorry babe

And glad to help

I'm really sorry that happened

I know.

Hmm

It is also important to note that some "questionable consensual" has happened on it too

It's another reason i struggle with sleep

Does L know

Directly or indirectly

I dont know how to answer that

Does he know?

Yes or no

Not all

"all"?

Is he a party to it

Yes

And it's more of a "them" as in plural experiences

So ncs against you multiple times?

Or help me understand this please

One was violent and awful and i dont remember breathing during it. I will tell you the story if you want

The rest have been when I'm either asleep or "asleep"

From him anyway

And one experience with someone else when i changed my mind

I can't believe you are still there

Fuck that shit

Sorry

I know

I'm an armchair psychologist anyway

You are worth more than that babe

Way more

I kind of know that

I don't understand why then

I dont have another option. I dont have any unshared memories as an adult.

Trauma bonded and obligated at this point

I am sorry

I feel like I'm throwing judgement at you

When what I really want is to release you from that hell

It doesn't have to be that way babe

I know you say that. So do the 2 others who know who still talk to me. I have very mixed feelings

And i know what i would say to someone who is me in my situation

Im just stupid and idk

Lies

This is a painful subject

The most we have from my POV

I legit don't know how to respond on a text msg

If i go into it any more right now you and i will both cry

Already there babe

So we can change the subject

I didn't want to avoid it, but I don't think this is a good way

To address it

I agree

Ok ❤️

Fuck

Im sorry

I'm ok with feels

It's ok

Are you really crying?

Why?

Yes

I'm sorry

I need a new subject please. Now.

Too many thoughts

And i dont want to cry all weekend

I am not coherent yet so sorry

Are you okay?

But ok

Yes yes

Tell me what you want then

What do you wabt to say, i mean

Well I think this segment confirms my distaste for abuse

I care about you dammit

But here we are

It's ok

Fuck i hate what my thoughts are right now

I don't want you to sugar coat things

Just get out

Get it out

Jesus

Sorry! Typo!!!

You'll yell at me for it. Thoughts, not memories

Yell?

Scold

Have I ever

But i know this

Be honest plz

I am justifying behaviors

Well i deserved it

Ive been through worse

It's not as bad as

At least he's trying to be better

I can fix this if

I fucking hate that because i know it's garbage thinking

But i cant help it

Right, you've told me

Can we park this for now

Yes please

I hate to seem dismissive

You are fine

I feel like I'm wallowing

How do i help you?

Again, the feelings of dismissal

I want to acknowledge this happened to you

And I do care

But I cannot address it now

Feelings are mine, just to be clear

I'm sorry

Nanana

I want to pull you away from things unpleasant

But also want to respect what you've endured

Babe

Yeah?

You deserve so much better

Yes you

It isnt in the cards

Pheu

Tommyrot

Balderdash I say

I have seen a good bit of you

Are you telling me there is some kinda lien I haven't heard about yet

Actually

Actually don't answer that

Not tonight anyway

I didnt know what you meant anyway

Ok lol

And either new subject or idk please

Did you know

I'm kinda jealous of your boobs

I want them

Why?

Cute and compact

Versatile

Sexy af

What size are they?

b?

Between b and c

Perfect

Like seriously I could lie all day, just holding them for you

Ok

Lol you're like WTF

Oh

Theyre just very subpar to me

Pssht

Na

Sodium

Subpar my ass

Why did you say "oh"?

I accidentally stuck a grilled cheese sandwich up my butt

I was aiming for the tomato

Oh wait I actually remembered

Did you believe me?

I understand
You're questioning life choices

Probably

Did i believe you when?

Sorry I couldn't hear you

There's a cheese sandwich in my ass

Oh

Oh!

Sorry I feel like I'm coping at your expense

Are you ok

I trying and i think so

Big hugs

I am very cold and tensed and want you to tuck me in while i eat more crisps

Oh

I would love to

null

And I will happily donate the excess heat I have

Hi BBY!!!

 ​❤️​ to a photo 

Aww I hope your crisps are perfect

They're decent

Oopsie I am slipping off to sleep

I love you dearly

I love you too

Sweet dreams lover

You, too

I'm holding you
I'm my head

Lol

I'm my heart

null

Aargh

Words

They be hard

Yep

Be kind to yourself

And sleep well

Gnight

null

2024-12-13T08:25:47

Good morning! How are you?

2024-12-13T09:58:59

Good morning babe!

null

She's hugging & licking

Aww

null

Oops.... lol

Oh hi!

😊

So pretty!

Thanks!

Such a nice way to wake up :)

I can't see if you sent a text or not recently. Puppy paws played with the keyboard:/

Lololol

I was making coffee and dreaming about your boobies

OMG when is sundress season?

Anytime lol

How's your mental and emotional state today?

Good actually

I'm ok

Honestly?

Hey!

Yes honestly
Yo!

Sanna see something cool that maybe you might want?

Yes!

One sec

Also.... have i shown you parts of my stamp collection?

You showed me a little bit yeah

The binders right?

Yes

When we gonna sort them better?

Oh ! We gotta do stamp day huh

Month. Ish. Lol

Also...

null

Lol!

I have 2 more

Different sizes

Omg

I've gone my whole life not seeing these things

Too funny

Aww shit

One of Reddit's favorite kitties passed away :(

Noooooes!

I tell you what, anytime you want to cry, just look at the rainbow bridge comments under one of these posts.

At least we know there are people with empathy out there

I will never do that

But thank you

Yeah it can be tough

Leads me into spirals and i wont escape them

Yeah

Well dang

Hmm?

I'm just trying to reset here

So my orgasm bags came yesterday lol

Uh, pun intended?

Lop

Lol

Fleetwood Mac

??

...And cheese

RLH says Stevie nicks is a witch

I have a FM tee I'm getting rid of if you want it lol

Wyd?

Any of these for you?

null

No, thank you though

So whattttt afe you doing?

Maybe I would have the tee thiughy

Though

I just kinda dozed off lol

Maybe I'll place it with your perpetual stuff bag lol

Hehe thank you

Gonna need a bigger one

Uh oh

Idk what i should do right now

If i go somewhere, wherw ahould that be?

Someplace with cool things?

Yes, definitely

I just cant decide where

Would you also like to go? No is an absolutely fine answer

I'm just getting aggravated so i think i should be able to go

Why aggravated?

Because i was supposed to have 2 days of whatever i wanted to do with L. He went to the dentist appt (i made) and was back by 10 and is still sleeping and i am angry at it all

Oh and also thai joke

*this

null

I'm confused

I asked what the plan was

He said he is tired and need pain meds

I expressed sympathy and asked if i could get him anything

He said a lobster roll and bj

There was "we'll see" logic from him about if we go anywhere today based on how he gets serviced or whatever shit

I am ao many feels rn

Got it

So does he think he's doing you a favor here

Yes

I fail to see what's in this deal for you, unless you really desired to go out with him

I may be biased but I'd go about my business and skip the gatekeeping

Basically

In his mind, it's that if i want to go somewhere i should earn it?

That's what I'm picking up

I... ugh

Im just very upset

Yes

I am sorry babe

I have a ridiculous sounding thing

Vuvuzela?

That'll get him

I can share absurd spouse behavior as well. Probably doesn't help but to fuel the fire though

2024-12-13T16:30:51

Hey

Hi babe what's up

Im sorry i was acting like a whiny crybaby earlier

De nada

Is everything ok now?

I think so

I was not doing so well earlier

What has changed your outlook?

Im better, not all well

I just needed a little time to cool off i guess

Still upset but got to shop a little

I missed you today

I missed you, too

I really wish i could have seen you at all

Same :)

What did you do?

Schlepped around a lot. Put my organza bags into service in the filter. Reshaped a new tool for the lathe

Were you inescapable?

Perhaps not but she had an ordeal with her eyes and I couldn't get myself together

Plus I didn't know what was going on with you after a time

I was being a bitch today. Just an angry, upset person

Hmm. I understand

Jsyk you didn't come off that way to me at all

I got angry, disappointed, abandoned

I mean those were the notes I heard from you, and they were not pointed at me at all

I was upset with you for a hot minute without good enough reasoning so i left the conversation because i never want to feel that way toward you

And then as i was dressed and ready to start leaving he decided to wake up. Then was a downer for all of the 3 hours he decided was long enough to be out

Will you tell me what I did to upset you?

If you'd like

I dont know that you could have known though

Ofc I don't want to upset you, but idk what I did. I'm only asking to learn

I was going to tell you something that is a ridiculous thought to have. The response was "vuvuzela" and i was upset and in a pissy mood and trying to say something but it wasnt the right setting anymore so it was more i had to keep internalized today and i had already had a lot to deal with and sidnt want to say anything after that

Ok. I'm sorry. Thank you for telling me

I appreciate that, thanks

I know you were trying to be fun and silly but it was something serious and my instant setback did not feel pleasant. That's all

Totally understand

null

Thanks

Totes

So what's happening

With what?

In general

You chillin

Kinda

I hurt

Whereabouts?

All over. Mostly my eyes are killing me. It hurts but it's not painful? That sounds weird

How is your hydration?

And I'm sorry you are hurting

Im trying to better hydrate

And youre correct if youre thinking its photophobia

I didn't go there but that makes sense!

Are you able to check your hematocrit?

I haven't ever measured that on my own so I'll say no?

Ok

Daddy mommy says drink clear liquids you

If your house is like mine, the furnace has dried the air pretty thoroughly

null

Omg that explains so much

I am itchy af

As a result

I also didnt know michigan ever got this low

Yes! Itchy and biting-y

Indoor is much lower humidity bc the furnace burns off what little moisture there was

My lips are dry and my nose keeps bleeding

Aww!

You need lovin!

Do your æsthetitions do face pampering?

Which aestheticians?

The ones you see in Eastwood. I can't remember the initialism

Ohh

EWC

That is strictly waxing

Ohh

Well crap

I will make an appt for you to have a

Facial


At the duly competent salon of choice

Would you enjoy that?

My treat

I think that's incredibly generous of you and i dont know

You know what's fun though?

I can think of things

Lol. Sure, happy to get back to that track

But part of your holiday gift arrived

Oh should I be worried

null

Somma youuuuu!!

Yay!

Lol i alreaxy gave you all of me

But I can has moar!!!

I already told you that too!

Where!

*Whee!

Anyhoo

Do you want to pick a salon, or do you want me to pick a salon, or would you prefer something else?

I literally do not know how to accept this kind of thing

It's a secret Santa gift

What would you like?

Something for you

Whatever you want

Nope

I will share some thoughts then

As always, you may think some of it to be unpleasant. May i proceed?

Absolutely

My skin is so dry!

I didnt grow up knowing anything about any kind of personal aesthetics or anything. Getting nails or hair or anything done was not a known to me. Literally at all. Waxed eyebrows, yes, and a handful of other things "that all women hate" and lots of no caring about yourself even though appearance is beyond important.

So that's that part without too much detail

The one time someone gifted me a salon session wasn't really for me, if that makes any sense. I can give you details but it's awkward

Anyway, mine is beyond dry too!!! Where is my lotion loving back rub god?

Aargh!

I have nice lotions actually

But they're messy so I avoid them

Oh, that was also to say ive never had anything but my hair, nails, and waxing done. And some tanning. Occasional massage.

I kind of hate nails being done because i pick it off right away.

Hair is just a weirdly personal thing to me

I already have a wax membership

What do you mean messy? I want them now

I will give one if you like it!

Nope. Not what i mean

I just mean it drives me crazy when my fingers have lotion on them.

Even the good ones leave tracks *everywhere*

Tracks?

Smudges

Youd better rub it into me really well then

Lol my phone is now covered in lotion goo

And soon

You shall be as well

Prepare yourself

So what's something else you'd like for yourself ?

What did you decide the first thing is?

Ahem

Work with me

Me covered in lotion goo

I clearly struck out in the only line of thought I had

Oh

Goo girl

Yes. Tip top. A thousand percent.

This conversation is getting interesting

You did not strike out

My phone totally has spooge all over it

You're welcome

Doea it smell vaguely like bleachy cream?

Not at all

Scent free

Tip top dermatologist rec

Work with me

Lol how do you do that

What do you need to know

About what?

Do you need a comedic breakapart?

Why did you say "work with me"

Lol I am melting

Why would i ask if the spooge smelled vaguely like bleachy cream? Hmm?

I do not know this reference

I am a smol person

Does cum from you not have that scent?

Ohhh

Dayum

Batin

Brb

Lol

What'd i miss?

Just commercials

How are ya

Na na na

Wherrrrrrre did you go??

I was using the office space 'baitin' theme to suggest in a jocular manner that I was going to masturbate, sample my cum, and report back on the taste/smell

Not office space

Idiocracy

I knew that part - I was kinda hoping you did.

I have a Peter Gibbons figure in my afg office lol

heh

No worries

I'll still snowblow if you want to

Woo!

Wait what is that?

I think you told me? But I don't remember

After the leadup, we fuck and you cum in me. Watch it drip out or whatever you want, then you lick it up and kiss me while we pass it back and forth

All negotiable steps

Ahh yes

And ahh yes

This will be a new for me

A little bit of a daydream

So thank you

I've done it once

Just one timw

Which brings me to another idea

Please continue

It's a different position for you to dine in

Well, for me kind of

You sit up somehow, or kneel on the bed

Fz

Ok back sorry

Np

Where did i leave off?

And then...

So you figure out how to sit/kneel comfortably but also so you can move and use your core

You grab around my thighs and pull me til im just above ass to chest on you right below your chin, then you tilt your neck so you have great access to the all you can eat buffet. I can anchor to you with my knees over your shoulders

Does the imagery make sense?

Ohh yes

I get it

I will eat you all day girl

Fucccckkkkkkk

I just felt the gush at that

That is an amazingly explicit pose for you

I would adore it

I am warming to the idea of you getting really, really up close and personal

Wow
It gets closer and more personal?

I auppose i have no real way of knowing

Let's do the fuck out of it then

Yes!

As you know
I adore your pussy

I will take good care of things

Now

Plz ;)

L sleeping lol?

Not for long

Well yes

You are creative!

You're aware i used to sneak outta this house and hop in a car stalling down the street to fuck someone in public at obscene hours?

You've told me

Then i think yea, i am creative

Maybe I can be that guy some day

Night

It's difficult to sneak outta here

Or maybe we just need to get our own place

Not opposed

❤️

So much catching up to do

Why do you say so now? What are your thoughts?

Damn it sucks that I am stuck here

Atm

Because caressing you and cajoling you into dropping your panties for me sounds really good rn

Ohhhh my dude

null

Been like this for hours

Lol

Who are you showing off for?

null

Catsez

Emmhmm

Pretty!

Aww thanks!

Is that your usual Friday night attire?

Kinda?

Acrually for most days

How delightful

No boys tonightt?

I guess it's tomorrow

We're supposed to rent a U-Haul van so they can empty their storage unit

How fun for you!

I am merely the finance guy

You seem to be feeling better

Yes

I'm glad!

Me too!

Somehow I keep smelling you

I don't know how

Magic

I'll say

Aww

Its good?

It makes me gooey inside

I love it

😊

Any frevenings coming up?

Not really and it's annoying me

Maybe tomorrow but idk

Im sorry

Working wednesday?

I suppose I could extend shopping

Yes I do work Wed nes day

:(

Ewwwwwww

can we just go live somewhere

With a bed and things to eat

And places for catses

And doggo

See I want to save you from abusive relationships

My spousal thing isn't all that bad by comparison

Just poignantly without promise

Give me just a few ok babe?

Np

👍

You need a ride

A thumb

You need a thumb

Daddy needs to know where

Told you lotsa times

You did not

Where does the thumb go sweetie

Where would you like to try first?

Oh you

Prolly in your tight pink pussy

I have plans for you

Ohh?

Yes

And what are you doing with your quasi naked self?

And how does one enjoy being a tease like that without some satisfaction

Getting under covers rn

Tell me some more of these plans

I don't know
I might surprise you

I guarantee you will

But i still wanna know

Emm

Well

You might have to wait

Besides, I asked you a question

Two actually

Everywhere you might put it

Getting into bed/under covers

Teasing is fun, but im not a tease. Being a tease only applies if you don't give it up

Yer lucky

I found the source of the smell

null

Sleep well pretty baby

I love you lots!

I love you too!

You're sleepsing now?

What's the smelly source?

Please?

Haha!

I made a quick bite to eat

What do you wear to bed

All sorts of choices

Right now i am same as downstairs earlier. Ill rake off the hoodie before sleep

Typical is shorts and a tshirt

You?

The same actually

I tend to get very hot at night

And sweat a lot

So I need a layer to keep me sorta dry if that makes sense at all

Yes!!!!!

All of that

What was the source of the smell?

My dryer

Wait, what smell? I thought you meant the me you still smelled

Two things can be true at the same time

Oh i see

I think

It's fascinating

The BLFAC jacket finally completed the laundry cycle

Yay!

And even now -- after multiple dryer sessions

I smell perfume from your laundry I suppose

Probably

There is nothing remotely like that in the house otherwise, I can guarantee that

But it's very nice

I'm just surprised at how persistent it is

Do you just smell my detergent concoction?

Maybe lol

Fair warning i am fading fast now that i am warming

Ok :)

Kisses and hugs

And kiss your face

null

And kiss your lips

And kiss your neck

And love you

I love you

2024-12-14T10:45:20

Hey babes

Good luck today!

I might be busy til afternoon. Sorry :(

Ty! ❤️

2024-12-14T15:12:01

Cant chat yet but...

null

Uranium glass if you can take a field trip this week. Or i prob can get it for you if you want

Ooh where is that?

Williamston

2024-12-14T17:53:56

Baaaaaaaabe!

Hey you!

How are you?

null

Lolz

Capacity for anything tomorrow?

It is possible!

Ohh?

Yeah idk what's going on around here but it sure doesn't seem important lol

Lol

Well i will hopefully be going some places and would love companionship

Oh goody!

Yeah!

What was happening today?

Zip zero nada

No boyses,

?

Nope

Plans must have changed I guess

I am uninformed, which is typical lol

Right right

Any idea when you might know about tomorrow? I'm guessing tomorrow lol

I am pretty sure I can do whatever providing I get out of bed early enough lol

Yes! Good choice

I have places if you want to know what they are

Destinations

And their hours lol

Ofc you do!

Do i really overthink that much? I think i prepare a normal amount but now idk

So I'm on instacart....

null

No joke

That cannoli factory chips & dip is looking really good

Lol right!? Ohhhh instacart

Plus whipped cream

Yessss

Are you having a good day?

It has been! Yours? What did you do besides stay uninformed?

Lol

It's been good

I've been dinking around with the aquarium mostly

Im shocked!

I know!

And I picked up my prescription

I now have an abundance of Viagra lol

But now there's no time :(

Right?

Bloody hell

So what else?

I am itchy as fuck

I got some diphenhydramine cream and it does help in patches

But Imma go take a dose of something because fuck this

Sarna lotion is supposed to help a ton

And yeah. Fuck it all lol

Crikey

I hear saliva helps

Okay!

Starting with my inner thighs please

Not even joking

I said okay!

Lol

Would you like to know my "plans" for tomorrow, most likely?

Back ina few

Drunkish son in law on phone

Oh, okay

Good luck

Lol
Money sent
All is well

I can haz monies??

Omg no dont answer that

Watchu need bebe

Organza bagsssss

Lol

Lololol

I gotchu

O snap

I wonder if there are organza halter tops

I wondered something different but kindasorta similar

Mm

Oh fuck

Organza lingerie

Sounds scratchy

Better take it off

null

This can't be real

Do it!

null

69 dollars?

Um
Lol
And no

Hahaha

They're fucking awesome

Ok new fashion need uncovered

But who wears them first.?

Meeeeee!

I mean I guess you could

That would be hot

You've yet to show me what you think I'd look best in

Well I just came across this

null

And I about fell in love with it

Way outta my price range lol

What do you like about it?

Semi-transparent

That's basically it actually

I also like this kinda bra & panty set with a flowy gown or babydoll

I have a task for you sometime

Go through my stuff. Find what you want me to wear for you

You can take photos of me in it. Just for you.

Woo!

Do you like it?

I'm thrilled!

I probably have to ask you for try-ons so I can take pictures for science

Well okay

If it's for science

Absolutely

What was the drunken call, if i may ask? Np to say no

Synopsis: living in what amounts to a large camper in northern Michigan is cold. Need help insulating

Oh, and off-grid

These guys got mettle, I have to give them that

Wait, these are who again?

My two step-sons

Gotcha. Because....

null

Oops lol!

I was confused. Thought you had meant your brother in law

Wow that's hilarious brain fart

I do not have progeny

As far as I know

Right. Esp not a married one lol

Right!

Do you think theres actual potential you could have one?

There is a non-zero chance

That ons

I think she tried to scare me but she claimed at one point she missed her period

I
Was in Glasgow at the time

But we
Had hooked up perhaps 3 weeks earlier

And I was trying to keep in contact

Ever hear of a venn diagram?

It was 2005, not so easy

Yes I know Venn well

Then you know 2 things can be true at one time

More than 2

Lol!

Touché

I haven't had a period since i met you

Think I'm enciente?

Are you serious?

What's the question?

Are you pregnant?

Absolutely not

Is it odd that you haven't had periods?

Not in the least

I swear i told you that was a thing for me

You may have indeed

Yeah i dont have them

It's a long-standing trend i have

Is the IUD a factor

Yes, but just one factor. I'll tell you whatever you're curious about but dont want you to feel weird with tmi

All good

You sure?

Ahh

It has literally taken me this long to understand the conversation of the last 15 minutes

I am a bit slow lol

Okay. Can i help clarify something?

I'm straight!
Mostly


So I 99.9% believe that girl was tryna pull me back

Poor thing

But it wasn't to be

Was she single?

Single mom

Shithead ex

You for sure have a type

Lol

Yep

I know it

Does it bother you?

Which part

All. Any.

Sort of?

Please tell me

I had that infidelity decision thrown back at me for a long time. It was at least 10 years before I pushed back

And somehow here I am again

I don't connect the decisions to do what I'm doing

I do question what I really decided for in 2005, which was to stay married

Im sorry. I didnt really mean to incite any of this

Honestly it's fine

I need to examine this anyway

But does not have to be this moment

Okay

We can change subject if you wish

Ok either way

I dont really know what to say right now that won't be sad or hurtful to me so you choose please

Whoa babe don't take this hard

How bout them Yankees

Where were we

Is there a mini me?

Highly unlikely

And I am happy with that outcome

Under the circumstances

Things would be different if she had my baby

No doubts

I did not want babies

But if I did I wanted a girl

That's what I have in that issue lol

What is that issue?

Babies

Don't really care for them

Why would having a girl be an issue?

I preferred a girl, should I have a baby

Right

Because?

Yes

I would teach her to be the most awesome girl ever

In what ways?

Respect
Yourself
And be kind to others

And be smart

And know how and when to ask for help

Is it surprising that that makes me wince? And have feels

No it's not

And believe it or not

I would have said the same thing before I met you

Girls. Need. Power

My initial response is to ask "because of whomelse?"

Maybe every girl I've met

That's an exaggeration

Most of my girlfriends

Had bad daddy issues

Including my wife

I dont entirely know that, you know

And some had a deep hatred

I don't put my wife in that category though

Ah sorry, yes this may well be new information

What happened with high school gf's dad?

He was emotionally abusive, maybe physically too

GF did not enjoy visiting him (he also lived in East Lansing)

She and her mother had this intense "the enemy of my enemy is my friend" vibe

NB GF lived in Mom's house when I met her

NB GF?

Nota bene girlfriend

null

I am missing one thing

Sorry - mandated break

You're missing snacks from the kitty cat cafe lol

Yep

Nailed it

About tomorrow....

Yesss

When could you leave and when would curfew be?

Perhaps 1000-1600

Nice block there

Ty

You're not sure bad either

I guess

Pssht

I have one shopping objective, which can be found easily at Despot or Lowse

Which is?

Wood with which to make frames, and frame clamps

Right right

Juat working on location lol

Nbd

You do you

I will meat you somewhere

Lol i have no dougt

Ope sorry ma'am

Are you sleeping little one

Not a chance

Oh!
Whassup?

Was thinking about and looking at options

Roger that
Making a snack

What it is?

Yumm

So
You probably don't [care] to remember

The olives with pimentos I bought *sans salt*

Sans Na

Ya lol

Pas sans NaCl

Ouai?

Well I salvaged them by immersing them in a random amount of jalapenos sliced in juice and feta cheese

Fml is this good

It's been like 3 weeks in the fridge

That's awesome!

Y/N - youd be interested in making your own flavored vinegars?

oh sure

Unconvincing

There are maybe 5 or 6 vinegars around here hiding in the shadows with some random herbs thrown in. And several pure stock on the shelf

That does not influence my decision well enough

Sorry ma'am

What do you need

Was debating if youd want a handy & easily accessible collection of flavored vinegar info and ideas to perhaps place on a shelf

Info in what format?

I mean, if you want to spill the secrets

Lol

The answer os always a book. This one is full of recipes and idk what else

Haha I was overthinking it

Yes ofc

I'd like it

Oh yay!

May have procured it preemptively

Thank you babe!

That was very sweet of you

Pshht

But yw

So my salad

Lol midnight texts

Consists of that lovely ingredient, plus dill pickles (two kinds), fake hot dogs (2), and tahini

And seeds

null

And I inadvertently found the perfect beer to pair

Guinness?

Sorry for the delay. Phone murderer

What means phone murder

null

I adore the farmhouse style

Jolly Pumpkin is sometimes over the top for me (tx Gaudy), but sometimes I kinda crave it

https://www.cratejoy.com/products/vinyl-post

Thought that was cool

Yay! We used to get those things here and there

https://www.cratejoy.com/products/3-juke-box-45rpm-records-7-vintage-originals

Woohoo!

Not to be that guy

Definitely more of a nostalgia draw. These poor 45 bbs have been grooved a lot

God bless rhem

These are cool sub boxes

Lol

Absolutely

100% d corative

Idk why I miss the e sometimes

Très chic

B b can you h ar m ?

Ouai

Lol

Eeee

Comment ça va?

Je vais bien merci. Tres reveille. Et toi?

C'est Bien aussi

Haha

La même chose

Tu veut faire quoi a demain (ajdh) que c'est aussi une possibilite vrai?

So la reponse est non, ca c'est ok

Quand?

Au matin, ou en apres midi

Textes-moi

Lol

Donc

Oll

Les deux

Dites-moi

Je suis l'orangutan

Maintenant

What would you waht to do tomorrow as a real possibility, if i can

In the morning or afternoon

I could meet you anywhere at 1100

And I can carriage you hither and yon

And if we're feeling frisky then we should go somewhere

Did you have somewhere in mind?

Not atm

Not ATM machine either

But I've definitely decided we should fuck in my cat

Nooooooooo

Not the cat!!!!

Fuck I e ruined it

I'm a failure

It's just something I'm not into

Lol

null

Hafta click it

No car fucking?

Dude that "dip" is the bomb

No feline fucking

Have you made it or you just like the recipe so far?

Both actually

Frank's Press Box and Kewpee have similar and I love 'em.

I have also made similar in kind

Excellent!

Make tiny toasts and spread some of that witha slightly oily tapenade atop it

Bang on sis

http://www.williamstonantiquesmarket.com/

That's where i was for part of today. They have the uranium glass (and tons more)

Sweeeet

Thank you!

https://www.estatesales.net/MI/East-Lansing/48823/4314924

https://lrshlansing.com/id24.htm

https://the-mega-mall.com/

Omfg

Hmm?

Lookit what I found

null

Where??

Something I ordered way back, unopened

Until now

I Mean like a year+ ago

How serendipitous!

null

So sexy

Ty

They feel so slinky

Yesssssss

null

Sorry I lost track of details there

null

How do you feel?

Sleepy

In bed now

Sleep then, sweet babe

I will

You too

5th amendment

null

Ill wait

Lol

2024-12-15T06:14:18

Heya

Yo

What's up?

I had to pee

Sorry TMI

I've literally seen you pee

With the same boy part that's been halfway up my torso

We're good lol

Have been accosted

null

null

They continue to encroach

The troops need food!

Sirvival training lol

Lol!

Imma peace out for a couple hours babe

You do you babe

null

Hey do you wear baseball caps?

Can't say that I do

Me either

Lol

Heh!

2024-12-15T10:16:40

Yoooooo

Hieee

How are ya?

Okay
I got up finally about 20 minutes ago

Good work

The cats were revolting

Dude sane

*same

They volted a lot

Revolvolted

Yeah

And there were poop balls hither and yon

Idk what's up with that

Oh noooooo

Bala has issues sometimes

I'm sorry 🙇‍♀️

So it's been a kinda poopy start lol

Dommage (for reals)

Im questionable too lop

Oh? What's up?

Just feeling kinda weird, less motivation than last night to go out places

That said, are you allowed to roam anywhere ? Do you want to?

I should actually go to oneadem big home storez

Gotta get wood lol

Lol ofc

When ya goin?

Prolly noonish

Do you want to ride?

With or on me?

And my wood

nbd if not

Lol

Always want to, it's a question of feasibilty & timing

Sure sure

I'm not convinced I should go today

But it would be nice to see you

Let's call the whole thing off?

Yes. Always want to see you. Wish we could tomorrow night. Or Wednesday

Where would you get a cheap comforter/quilty blanket around here? I dont care if it's preowned, i have laundry facilities lol

I want like $15 or less

Hmm

Idk dude

There's one in your living room

Lol okay

Was going to see if you wanted to meet up at homegoods or marshalls in frandor

You tried to give it to me :)

Yws, there are actually 2

I need at least 1 morw

Are the quilts and the meetup ensemble?

Platonically yes

Oh ok

Sorry, love

Lol no worries

But also.... it's kinda good that it's a no from me today (it's just physical weirdness and those damn sussy logistics). I dont actually say no in most contexts

Ok np

I went to HomeGoods once. It was kinda funny

Well now i feel terrible

Anyway

Why funny?

I was wandering around looking for mirrors
And I felt like I was drawing stink eye from every woman in the store

Hahahahaha

Maybe i will venture to the wall of marts

Lol

Hate it but it's an experience

OMG it will be that

Wanna go?

I'm gonna pass on wm

Sorry

Wanna go anywhere?

Realistic

Right right

I can't decide now

Need some time to clear the fog and get oriented

Orientated, if you're nasty

Okay

Let me know if i can help!

Tx 🙂

And it's sucky but totes fine to be our own selves today :)

Thanks babe

I don't want that

But I hear ya

Can't you just throw some video games and snacks in the basement? L will never know I'm there

Could be a hazard

Sleep + food = aspirating

Good lord

+ video game controller= ??

Stays in basement. I do not basement.

Right right

Very sorry if i zone out

Am i correct that i cannot gift you an afghan?

It would be implausible for me to suddenly own one

Indeed

If i gave you something in a small frame for a desk or creative area? Y/N? Frame choice? (Style, color, mat/no mat, etc)

Sure!

Yay!

What kind of frame ?

Hmm

I feel like it should be a simple sort

Okay cool

The imagery is largely a deep sky blue

What color frame?

Whaddya think should it be contrasting like silvery? Or is wood a good choice? Or basic black

I thought basic black based on your aesthetic

Well, tie dye but didnt find that yet

Lol! Black go with black

How thick do you like the edges of frames?

Matted or not?

Still asleep btw

It kinda depends. Idk without seeing it

Mmmk

2024-12-15T15:36:40

null

Lol

How's it going?

Not bad

You?

Okay. Just got up from a nap

I'm kinda headed that way myself

You're about to nap?

Yah

I hope it goes well for you

Ty babe

2024-12-15T17:12:50

Hello

null

:)

How are you?

Good , good

That's good

What's on docket this week?

Work ofc
I'm doing a little cleanup on the cigarette box
And need to get going on the weaving frames!

Hbu

Working i n office tomorrow & Tuesday, wfh Thursday then that's it for scheduled work for the year but i might do OT

Surgery Friday

I have to figure out where to go & pathway plans for a few times this week

I've made a lot of upstairs progress through today. It looks worse, which is actually good because it means stuff is all taken care of i just need to set it back where it belongs

You working every day?

Does RLH like LOTR/Tolkien the author?

Nice work babe!

I do work all week. Then out till January

RLH does like JRRT

I found her a gift

Your choice if you want the link

I am ordering from them so i can easily add it on if you'd like

What should i eat?

I'm thinking barley, steamed carrots with dilled butter, sliced fresh tomato with olive oil, salt, oregano

Yes what's the link please?

That sounds lovely! When are you bringing it by?

https://www.fun.com/lord-of-the-rings-middle-earth-lightweight-scarf.html

Oh that's cool! I'll take it!

Oh cool!

I just set a high bar for myself to make dinner lol

Dude
I'm still wearing those white stockings

They're like invisible or something

Wtf

Well that's fantastic

They make a really nice thermal layer

Lol

Under my sweatpants

Thank you!

For what?

Holy fuck am i suddenly exhausted

For the gift

Oh ofc

Cooking for spouse, back in 20 er so

Or sooner, like now

For science: I have noticed several times now that my air purifier in my hobby room picks up on contamination when I fry stuff.

I doubt this is a coincidence

I understand humans are poor estimators of probability

OMG my cat just left me for another cat

2024-12-15T22:01:07

Hiiiiiiii

Oh hey smoochmistress5000

null

I please do come back I want you to tell me a bedtime story

2024-12-16T05:41:16

Good morning!

Hi babe!

2024-12-16T07:17:54

Hows it going?

Alright
I was up half the night with itching :(

Awww

Just an fyi i cant phone chat much today

Okay

Wait til i send you the email...

Oh my

I feel like i just want to die here

I'm so sorry babe

Im still crying

I cant even see. Or breathe. And i wanna throw up

null

Oh my poor baby!

How awful

2024-12-16T10:16:15

I am so so tired & depleted

Yeah what a shitty way to start the day/week

I guess other "teammates" were told about the position changes on Thursday. How delightful for me.

Esp when i have 2 days left in 2024 after today

So what was the email?

2024-12-16T12:39:28

Give me a few secs and I'll send it

Well, "them" now since there's more than 1

And i did not kmow about today's meeting until 5 mins before. Or what it was about

I just reviewed the emails. This is so wacked

I'm really sorry

I dont even know. I have backup to refute whatever but these decisions were made already and there is no discussion room available. I dont even have a clue what to do in the meantime

I think i need to eat. I need ideas please

Sorry I'm in a team meeting

I recommend soup

Going to find some myself in a few

Warm=soothing

So steer clear of borscht

It can be warm too

I just have no appetite

Also no makeup wipes

How's it going there?

Comme çi comme ça

Would you like me to be your Uber today?

Wondered if you fancied anything realistic

I don't have good cover to stay out for too long, but I'll do what I can :)

It's okay. I can always just go home. Or find snacks?

What do you think? You can always decline and stay home in a nice cozy cat basement

My face is still all fubar-puffity anyway

I just want to give you a chance to vent or talk or whatever if that's helpful

I dont really have that in me right now

Ok babe

Would you like a ride, or no

No thank you

I'll just go home like semi planned

Roger that

Yep

Shitty work situation straight to a shitty home one. I love it.

:(

Yep

Home now

I told you my life was meant to be miserable

Hugs first

null

Thx

I hate how i feel. Esp Physically.

I'm sorry this is all so shitty for you

Im not going to remember today

And my legs and feet are worse

I didnt leave my desk chair at all today

Wow dude that is horrible

And intrusive thoughts can suck it

Let us not forget that i am now expected to be phone available on the commissions line for 10 hours every day

And what do i do with the fact that most of that of recent examples is from blackout? Honestly, there wasnt anything i could have done and we were all advised to just attend to calls and that managers would be taking care of inboxes

I am still mad and beyond flabbergasted

And you kind of know my default to how i deal withe negative outward influence toward me

The whole thing is rat fuckery

Your employer is insane

I also made mention of how "all but 2 people being acknowledged with an emmy is really hurtful" and the response was "it was more than 2". So i blinked and thought and said "right, it was 3, because M, C, A, and T got them from you while N, R, and i did not

And he diagonally nodded

And i about vomited with disgust at how pointed and punitive this is

Exactly

And why is the punishment not even related to the "offenses"

Here, do something else instead

This feels like CYA all the way up the fucking chain

I said that

I asked how it can be a first notice of a coaching plan when i wont be in the same role or performing the same functions

Ty

Wtf dude

The response was (not quite verbatim) " because it was this or a lot worse"

Fml

Nowhere at all am.i allowed to explain or respond or refute

Not as such, but you can attach your statement fwiw

Though i did specifically ask for my signed copies of my LOA and job duties. And i will type things out in bulletpoints when i can think without more selfinjury

I have both those things anyway

Hard copy and electronic

Good

Very good, and if you can write down any details you're still sure of

He apologized a thousand or so times

Yeah I already sensed this was not Kirb's call

And lest we forget how smiley and happy and thankful they all were to me on Tuesday at our work event

Jfc

When i was one of 4 SBRs to be at work in any capacity that day

And i planned it

But cant bowl

Couldn't eat what they had for food

Or drinks

And almost all the new docs for training that i have seen have yellow highlighter

Oh, idk if you know what that means related to me

I think you told me you can't see [certain] highlight colors

Correct. Yellow.

I meant to ask you something about that

But this is getting into ADA territory

If you have a documented disability

I didn't know it was an issue that needed to be documented

There are so many of those

At least in the sense that HR has this knowledge and that you are given a reasonable alternative way to access the information

Ianal obviously but this is the legal case I can imagine

Yeah. It hasnt been asked or denied, just more inconvenience

#peoplefirst!

Not in a laughing mood yet

At least it hasnt emergied yet

Lol haha you

But I will bet you lunch money

I dont even have the energy to hop back on my soapbox for how needing actual documentation is ultra classist and ableist

Somebody has to explain why we wrote off 2 mil

Oh yes it has been taken care of

As if

No one would even know that amount - or the recoupped numbers from lg accts - of it wasnt for me. This is sick.

And I'm creating a terrible conspiracy theory

That is probably scorecard noteworthy

I'll be looking at them with interest

Which i ironically asked for today as well (for one of my positions performance) and guidelines and checklists that were used to evaluate the metrics for my work as sbr

How does anyone go from all As to this?

Hmm?

I'm just saying this whole thing reeks of CYA

Absolutely

phooey

Rat fuckers

I have no choice in any of this. Not a bit. This or leave. Stay with insurance or leave and die in a week

I know

I can almost guarantee i wont take them tonight. I'll be okay just not motivated enough to take them

I didnt even know i was doing this today

null

null

Oh sorry, should have led with a trigger warning

I'm so sorry
Spouse interjection

What am I looking at and what do you mean "not taking them tonight"?

Leg and foot

I cricketed too hard

And i mean i might just sleep. Missing one handful of pills wont hurt me. They arent rejection related anyway

Why are you missing a dose of something?

I dont know. Not officially or expertly

I just do sometimes

I have thoughts why but none of them are great reasons

You're making this sound like something important

Is it?

Is what important?

The meds

Just take of yourself please :)

They're just basic things

I cant describe this well, but i dont think i have capacity to do that right now

Fine

But take care of yourself ok

You seem mad

I'm not mad, I'm worried

You don't have to tell me what's in your head , but you don't get to make vague suggestions like this without me saying something

Very worried

Oh i see

I'm sorry babe

I'm outta line

I think it's a combination of self apathy and needing control. I have poured so much into this stupid job and im mad but trying to convince myself i dont care.

It's also kind of hurting myself without actually engaging in that.

You arent outta line at all

I'm glad someone cares

No one else checked all day but it wasnt something i advertised either. Still, someone should have checked based on a lot of things

I just dont want to exist in this reality

What I'm doing to myself is illogical and probably dumb. It's akin to Anna Karenina-ing

So let's find else for you

I will help you

I know it sucks

Whatever you decide is the right move, I will help you any way I can

I don't know how to do antthing anymore

Laying down for a bit. Dont worry

Kiss kiss love you

2024-12-16T22:00:47

Love tou too

O hai bebe

Are you well

I have to do things in kitchen, will be back!

Hi pretty baby

Hi

Kisses!

How are you doing

Not great but ok i guess

Yeah

My body is just done-feeling and my brain and the rest of my is too as of today

I dont entirely know how to show up tomorrow

And i am in weird pains and stuff. Basically fell over when i stood up not long ago. But i did take my pills

Dang
Are you ok

Maybe. I have no way of knowing that

Only one more day of work

Then not work for a while :)

Tomorrow, then Thursday

Oh shit I'm sorry

That sucks

Yeah. I am somehow supposed to be on the Commissions phone line on Thursday

My elbows and wrists hurt sooooooo much right now

Incroyable

Quoi.

Ohh beebee I just want to hug you

Me too

I wish I could fix everything

I really do

I would do it for you

Without hesitation

I know you would

That might make it worse

Now now

But not really

I am so depressed

100% understandable and allowed

But it's not because i have expectations

You do you
I will support as I can

Ideally i would not work in office tomorrow

Or i would have a late start/early departure

None of that is probably acceptable

I hate that this is affecting me so much

Not doubts

None

So i just do what, fall asleep now?

Do you need food or liquid?

Anything at all

I had some toast. And part of a gatorade zero

Forcing myself to eat is hard when I'm emotionally disregulated

Ok you've had something though

Yes

If it were me, straight to bed

I have been in bed

Are you ready to sleep

Or no

I know you kinda just woke up

I want to sleep

But i also want to just accept defeat and keep sleeping until my body decides it's time

Just sleep babe

And recharge

Don't you dare leave me

Okay i wont

But also, i meant i dont want to have to wake up at a set time. I just want to recharge and recover and reset and that's not in the cards

I know
I share your frustration

I am going to lay the phone down now

Okay

Gnight babe

Beaux reves, mon amor

A toi aussi

❤️

2024-12-17T06:26:04

Hey kitten

Hiya

Good luck today

Thanks

Unsure what today holds honestly

And CK is out til next Monday

I'm guessing the shit storm has passed for now

Be good

Why do you guess that?

And i will?

2024-12-17T08:46:28

Do you think i wont be good? Legit question

No I don't think that

I just want you to get through the day as peacefully as possible :)

2024-12-17T10:23:15

:)

I am essentially unwatched today. Maybe. Not that I'm tempting that

CK asked how i was doing this morning

Aww

My response was "thank you for checking in" and then pivot to working

I think it was more of an indication of how upset i expressed i was yesterday

Igchh.

My arms are still awful feeling and this tremoring HAS to stop

HAS

Why did I do that lol

2024-12-17T12:32:39

Make evening plans yet?

This is really about avoiding suspicion

RLH must be feeling more like herself. Last evening she was asking for endless reassurances that I'm not eating out. It was awkward. This used to be a constant topic for her, but I haven't heard it now in a year or more

No prob

But..... weird. Yeah?

For her, no

Am i misinterpreting something?

I don't think so? But lmk if I can clarify

Dining at an out of the residence establishment or.... a different, more euphemistic term?

Lol the latter

I dont understand why shes asking?

She used to do this constantly

Promise me you love only me forever

End quote

That's a very different sentiment

She wants assurance that she is safe in her relationship

Only she comes about it by asking for me to promise she is and will always be the only one

Okay, i kinda follow that

But that leaves our a key activity you mentioned

*out

My bad, vague language

Am I looking for other women?

Did she say that?

Not verbatim, but very clearly, yea

And it wasn't so much as she had a reason to think so, but she knows she has been inattentive to our relationship for a long time, and this is exactly what I would expect her to ask if she ever came back to her senses.

And please do feel free to ask anything you want to know about this. I'm sure I'm leaving gaps

I will

Fuck my arm hurts

And a baby of a fever

Right arm?

Less than great

Yes

Temp?

Yep

Do you have a mattress topper?

Like one of those foam things?

I guess I can just say no. We've used some things like that in the past, but not anymore. They don't seem that effective, especially for my special needs spouse

She doesn't sleep there....

Yep

Rarely anyway

Does she want sex again, do you think?

I don't know. She peeped about it briefly last night again (before asking for reassurance) but the thing is she *says* a lot of things that she would like/want, but she seldom acts. Plus she is so out of shape and smokes.. she can barely go from room to room without wheezing

Hey i get winded too

Not that you need my permission, but you can do as you'd like until it negatively affects me

I am not ready to be close to her

I'll see how long this energy burst lasts. I really don't expect it will be long

I see. We should talk about this

Sure no prob

From kind of the same POV

Yeah

Im sorry

I have a possibly out-there question to ask then

Don't be sorry it's fine

Lying is unbecoming of you

(I say this with sassitude and blinky eyelashes)

Lol

I blinky back at you

So anyway, i have a question

Flutter flutter

Lol

What are your requirements for engaging in raucous recreation with someone?

Do you have to like them?

Find them attractive?

In what way(s)?

Or any hole to fill a need?

I have such a low body count it's kinda difficult to give you a scientific answer

There are things that are consistent for me though

I find them attractive
They seem interested in me
We have mutual respect
We've bonded over some shared interest

Our shared interest?

Language
Work woes
Lame spouses

Travel

Mellophones 🤣

NB I also developed a great respect for your perseverance

NB?

Nota bene

Ah

Grazie

Si

Thank you for not saying resilience

Oh really?

Yes

I hate that term

Why so

Ok fair enough

Not 100% sure why

Overused is prob one

I'm sure I used it more than once before

Not with me

I always call it out

You are busy all day tomorrow?

Nominally, but most of the team is out

Okay

So i will likely not see you, correct?

Well

I was going to ask if I could swing by around this time to drop some things off

Things for you :)

This time tomorrow?

Correct

It's perhaps possible depending on when you'd arrive & depart & if youre staying or if we go anywhere

Sorry it's always complicatec

Bonus - as of this afternoon there is one less SBR

Oh? Did somebody depart?

Yes

None of us knew or know what happened

Anyone I know?

Announced to us via email at 1557 today

Not lucky enough to be CH I suppose

Robert Prince

Hmm, don't know him

Doesnt matter now

He was 1/3 who did not get an emmy from our manager

He's been out or off for a while though

Thinking he just up and quit but who knows

He has an MBA so there's that factor

Mailroom Baller Academy

No

It's crazy anymore degrees just don't carry the weight they used to

Not slighting your efforts at all

*accomplishments

I actualy think theyre easy

That's because you're smart

In some areas

And cute

Aww thanks

Wicked combo

Kinda hurt a lot rn

Hahaha

Only 35 minutes

Smart, cute, kinda fun....

Eh. Maybe

*very fun IMO

Sheets or not!

yes

Where am i more fun?

Near me

This means rien

Idk about you but I had a blast at H4H with you

Lol verrrrry same

Did you know i got at least 1 holiday trinket there for you?

Sneak!

Psht

Tricksy

Now I'll throw in more

Lol

Make me that lego build yet?

Not yet!

Plans after we celebrate when baby jesus rotates the sun?

My older step dude's birthday is the 28th

That's about it

Is that a weekend?

Idk what logistics are like yet
But I'm not worried

It's Saturday

Damn

Na

Youre salty too. Thanks

Lol

They're so busy up north idk if they will spend Jesus day and b'day down here, but I don't know really

I am trying to find extended time for you/us. Chez moi or elsewhere

Yay!

But i need info from you before i can do anything

I'm guessing you need to know when I can free myself

I might have to start taking more Wednesdays off

Lol

Both are correct

Makes sensw

Right now I see the options as the above, or I go full nuclear, announce I am no longer monogamous, and go about my life

I don't think the timing for option 2 is right

Same

I need to be able to file the same day, if i ever get to that

So anyway, i work from home Thursday and that's it for the year of me working

However..... L thinks he'll be allowed to wfh next week and the week after

I might be able to get next weekend alone (the one with the 28th) from like Thursday onward

But i can probably do other days if i know when

Nice!

Well.... mostly

Some chance is better than no chance!

Did you not notice where i might be at home and not alone for all the days?

Except the 26-29?

Correct

Or am I confused

Which is still a maybe

Yep

As in, it's a maybe for me too

Understood

I wish i knew which places had day rooms around here

Hmm. I don't know

I got it

Hmm?

Couple ways to check. Heading home.... ttys

K!

Murrrrr

You probably cant come over earlier tomorrow

Okay

Are wfh Thursday?

And would that work?

I can be quick as it may be necessary

You know me, old pump and dump

Well you know me, anyone who'll take me

Tomorrow might work, depends what your intentions are

Same for Thursday

I really just want to make sure you get this package before schedules get really weird

That's incredibly too sweet of you

null

I try

L has his team Christmas from 2 - 4 at Leo's lodge on Jolly tomorrow.

Hence the time questioning

But i can go where i like

Well poop the morrow may not be fitting

I'm sorry

I will be in touch anyway we will figure it out

:(

Well i feel absolutely crazy

Dare i ask how it's going there?

All is well babes

Are you ok?

Idk. Maybe and kind of and yes and no. A lot going on in my head

Anything urgent?

Urgent how?

Should I worry-- might have to cut out abruptly

I dont think you have to worry

Ok ty babe

I'm going to go quiet for a bit as a precaution

TTYL for sure tho

Ok

 ​❤️​ to “ Ok ” 

Hi beebee

Heya

Sorry for the cloak and dagger crap

I wasn't totally confident I would not find myself draped upon

It didn't happen

Can you explain more? I dont entirely know what you mean

I wanted to protect against the case where RLH draped herself over me, physically or otherwise

Just didn't want to be surprised

Gotcha

That's also why we have smaller words though

Sorry if it isn't clear she's moving from porch to living room

Oh okay

Moving herself?

Just saying this is one of the few times she moves about

Oh, okay

And now

She is in her chair (in the room above me)

What's your plan if she tries to physically engage you?

null

I wasn't actually pointing at him

Psht

I had two fingers trying to draw his eyes

Aw, that's cute

If she does

I can push it off

She will be upset

And I will be well positioned to tell her my grievances

Or not

But she's already seen my reject her behavior in ways I never used to do

And leave her unfulfilled

Because I will not engage

Can i have examples? Or is it what i already know about her paranoia and things

Yeah basically that

Especially since those responses from me really are new this year, and really since June

I can pinpoint the day

Short story is I'm tired of eating shit and I don't have to k thx bye

No argument

No yelling

No theater

Just disengage

And I've practiced this so much now

Sorry I do go on some times

Not at all

I love hearing from you

Lol thx

The point is

I can say no

And she will flip out

But I can manage it

In different ways

How else?

And nobody gets hurt, except it will be emotionally brutal for her

And me but I've already lived this in my head

This is good. Im proud of you for the boundaries

I feel like tough guy
But it will not be fun

Wanna see a kewl cat video I just made

I know

Youre in an enviable position IMO though so that's nice

Okay sure!

https://photos.app.goo.gl/gbn5gSeiRZiL9jNr7

Starring Mas Balà

Yes I am in a good position

If you can call it that

Tres mignon

Is it?

Lol

It, he, you, yes

Ty

What shall you do with your day tomorrow my dear?

I dont know

That's another reason i feel crazy

My poor baby!

A good problem to have
Why stress?

I want to do more than i have capacity to

And it hit me not very long ago that tomorrow is it for me for most freedom

I have stuff here i can always do, and stuff out in the world. I cant decide a priority. Work is still really heavy. Not sure I'll see anyone for several weeks. It's trapping and i dont like the feeling

Poor baby

Some of those things are not in your span of control, just sayin

Nothing is

And i dont do well in not having any say or control

Hmm

Can you help me understand what you might enjoy at the spa

Idk what your comfort level with their options

I'm still baffled at you wanting to do any of this

Because i hope you know i dont expect it. Or anything, at all, ever. Like, i feel bad if you take me home from work and i dont have something reciprocal to offer

Too bad :)

I want to spoil you

So would you enjoy a massage?

Facial pampering?

I would enjoy anything that isnt nails

Side note that i didn't realize me not knowing how to accept good intentions without remittance was an issue until now. I do not like these feels or memories :/

It's ok babe

It's weird because so many of these realizations are new to me

I'm so excited!

Will you do it ? My treat?

What are you excited for?

To give you this gift!

But i dont understand

Nevermind that. I will make financial arrangements and you can schedule it when it is convenient for you

Does that work?

I think so?

Only one person has done anything similar for me and it was nowhere near this. I'll te you when i can

You don't have to tell me now don't sweat it

Sporadic spouse interruptions

Je comprends

Do I re remember this conjugation correctly?

Nvm I looked it up :)

Lol

Hey now

Ok beebee
I have to close for the night
Sleep well lover
I will chatter at you in the morning

null

Love you!

2024-12-18T06:58:28

Good morning mon etoile!

Je suis us etiole?

null

Je pense qu'oui

How are you sweet baby?

Ok. You?

So far so good

That's good

What are you up to today?

I am going to venture out around 10

Doing some cleaning, wrapping, laundry

Possible naps

How about you?

That sounds much more fun than working

Agreed

Skip work? You have a mobile work device

Tis true

null

Oh my goodness

Right?

How's it going there? How was last night?

It's fine. Very quiet today. Last night was fine

Everything is fiiiine lol

Lies!!!

Lol

Heh

I'm bored as a stone

Anything i can help with?

Wait a sec, bucko - you have unbuilt lego!

Did you just call me bucko

Yep!

https://www.simplyrecipes.com/pyrex-vs-pyrex-expert-8757800

Yeah that's the ticket!

2024-12-18T13:10:17

Omg

I am so so tired

Just woke up again

Lol I thought you were going out!

Idk

I want to but L doesnt know anything about anything today.... like they left afhq at 11 for Leo's lodge and i havent heard since

I just feel kinda weird

But i do want to go out

And i want to clean

Mostly i want to be awake i think

Gads
Poor baby needs a bean extract

Had an emergy drink

Emergient drink!

Eugch

He is on his way back here

Dang it!

No kidding

I have to go to Meijer around 1600

For real?

Bc for some reason she cannot get her own prescriptions at the drive through pharmacy

???

Legit that is the only reason

She uses meijer?

Nvm as of one minute ago, I am also picking up the weed order 🤪

Dang it!

Ikr?

So is the renewal team trashed or what

Does your basement have a door that locks from the outside?

Sober. And no. Only entrance or exit is top of the stairs

Or egress windows

I mean an interior door
With a lock

2024-12-18T15:46:09

I take it this isn't a good time for a drop off

No. Sorry. Tomorrow?

Np babe :)

At the dispensary

Dude walked out that looked like Beasley 😆

It wasn't though lol

2024-12-18T19:12:15

Heyyyyy

Duuuude

How are you??

Good and less than good. How about you?

Are you safe and sound

I am fine

I am, i think :)

What's been happening there?

De nada

Very quiet it is

Wife just came in from porch moments ago

That's late

Hehehe

Fresh weed drop

How does she get?

Got to hang at the dispo for like 20-25 minutes

Oh?

Lol yeah

She ordered 10 things, all buds, no exaggeration

No one-offs

It was like 5g of that

1/4 of this

Etc

10 items

Poor kid behind the counter was flustered

I have no idea what that means

Is that a lot?

It's kinda like going to McDonald's and ordering 1 of everything on the menu

Ohhhh wow

😅

Well she actually ordered online, well ahead of time

The girl was first making side eye at the backroom for not having that online order filled

Such is life at the bud bar I guess

Oh, they call it a deli

I think that's cool, and seductive at the same time

Ofc!

Hieeeeee

How are

You

Lol

Good spirits honestly

Yay!

Physically.... idk. Weird

Happy baby!

😊

Yeah?

Yeah

I feel like maybe my port is weird now but have no way of knowing bc i dont usually touch it

And my arm is being itself

But i am humming

Are you nervous about tomorrow, or Friday

Why do you say tomorrow?

Work

=sucks

Nah. It is what it is

But I'm not trying to be a bad influence

Commissions really is easier

Interesting

Well I was just wondering why you were humming

I talk to myself a lot

Usually as a substitute for music

Humming is not a good thing with me usually

Or when I'm coding--thats a different process

I am physically in diacomfort that's why

Aah

Indeed

I know

I can cover you in oatmeal

That's good for you

Wont help this but thanks!

Working tomorrow?

Maybe I put you on a sandwich

Yes I'm working tomorrow

Im writing documentation
I enjoy this irl, no sarcasm

Technical writing was a field I considered

I have a text somewhere

Can I has your liver?

Yes

If i can tech write!

I haz awards

Legit

Mmm I knew there was something sexy about you

How have you kept this a secret

I have a handful of writing awards

Won cash for them and everything

Ecen poetry ones

Technical poetry?

Sorceress

Or evil genius

I'm still trying to tell

Yes

Or... oui, ja

No joke

No mas ouija

So are you a spy or no

What do you think?

Not telling

Do you just get off the seance with Stevie Nicks?

Answer truthfully

Plz

No

She's still alive, friend

So you're still on it????

Wtf you two

Yeah but shes a witch she can do wtf she pleases

Did you ask because she's also a 5ftsomething gemini?

No shit?

I did not

She's 5ft 1in

And may 26

1948

Noooo

Fml

??

My parents born in the same year

My dad in the same month

How bless-ed

They live in the same state

I'm a witch!

Hahaha

No no

Me no coven

Ok and you? You are tightsies with SN

DAMN MAY BABIES

How high did you get, sir?

❤️❤️❤️

Yes you love us

And all our flowers

The 2 best ones

Lilacs and LoyV

LotV

Lots of the v...erge?

Right right

Vetch?

Lilies of the valley

Vag


Ohh

Yep

Emmhmm

Love em all

Mom was a big wildflower gal

Loves to paint them even now

Still paints em

Aww 🥰

Yes

Me mum

Old Stevie

I've always loved her voice. I was probably 7 or so when I could dial her in on the radio

And my aunt had "rumours"

Which I loved, and still do, and still have to copy she bought me

She and a share a phonetically same middle name

For a bd present or something

Wait what middle names?

You know

She and a
You said that
Idk what this means

Sorry I'm stuuuupid

I have the same-sounding middle name. They are orthographically different

Oh! Cool

Lynn
And

Wait
You are Lynne, right?

What do you think?

The latter

Yes

Ty I just wanted to be correct

So who are you spying for

The Nicks'ses?

Okay, what have you and i done once each, at separate times, completely "normal" to most people?

Did they hook you up with ccrv video?

Oh noes

Here's a clue: me NOT doing it is intentional. I dont know about you

I am certain

About one thing

Hmm?

I don't know

Oh sad

I'll pleut! :(

Il fait pleut

Zeut

Dammit!

Zut

Quoi? Tu n'aimes pas de pleut?

Oh la la

Emmène-moi à ton sandwich au fromage

I'm sorry it has to be this way darling

Lol

I feel icckkkky

Ok I will disrobe if you don't mind

Sure

It's too cold for that here

I need to find a food
Ok ttys

She will be coming to the bedroom soon so I should sign off

I love you

I miss you

Sleep well, and have a good day tomorrow

You, too

I miss you too

I do

I want to hold you

I love you, sleep well

Don't worry about me

Ty
Sweet baby

I love you

Ily2

2024-12-19T06:54:43

null

null

Yes

How's everything?

Fine fine

Really?

I think so

I'm itchy

Still think it's dry skin?

How was last night?

I think so. That plus dehydration. It responds somewhat to moisturizing lotion

Okay, good.

And...

It was fine
She's being a bit clingy. But she got out of bed around 0430, perhaps frustrated that I was not clinging back.

Are you okay?

Yes I'm ok

Okay

Ty

Today is your last day working for a while!

Yes, it is

Well that's one giant scoop of wtf you don't have to worry about for a minute

Kind of

Do you know if you're stopping by?

If I can

Btw that BLFAC pullover is perfect fo hanging out in my cool basement.

Yay!

null

Well babes

Emm?

I feel soooo sick

Oh no!

Right?

do you need to eat

I dont think so but I'll try eventually

Ok I'm stealing your dog if you dont

Psssshhhhtt

null

Hmm
She's gonna have to run faster than that

She is busy cjasing all sorts of rabbits & foxes!

Aww

How much do like those insulators?

Which ones?

The ones from the lines that are glass and sometimes in the ground

Oh yeah it's a cool deco item!

What if i source more?

You can say no

*sourced

Also, ability to go anywhere this evening?

Maybe... Not sure. I do need to get see that uranium g last

Glass through
So you remember the name of the shop?

Yes

Williamston Antiques

Before you get to wmstn proper

Theyre toward the back of the store and I'm sure someone can guide you

Checking on another uranium lead i have though

What styles does she like? Pricepoint?

Idk honestly

null

Yes!

I lovvvvvve there

Cool thx!

Go in, to the right-most aisle, back, turn left. Somewhere in there i think

null

Maybe that will help

Thank you!
This is literally across the street from my doc office

I know :)

Lol

I might go to megamall yonigjt if you want me to keep looking

And thrifty treasures is super close to you - might have some but might not. You can call him or swing by

https://www.estatesales.net/MI/East-Lansing/48823/4314924?srsltid=AfmBOooKGBUVPs8AEplvIO-4N0CZXEFhV4TNzrBcE7JnTZ1nS5eGaHTm

I know you know where that is

I wanna gooooooooo

Kinda just past the post office & library

6 min drive from 519 n francis

Better get me pretty, weird, and wonderful things lol

713 applegate ln

Yep I know right where Applegate is!

Many a wealthy classmate lived in that street

Might have done some mdop there that got in probation once lol

Lollll

I know where another uranium glass booth is and i may head to that place tonight

Any interest?

And 3014 Hamlet tomorrow, saturday, Sunday

I'm interested in any and all sources of the green glowy glass!

:D

Would you like to join me this evening? I can sign off at 1715

And be ready to depart then

We can make out before as long as i am still phone available

I'll be there if I can swing it

Okay

Just let me know if you cannot, please

Time to ahow up at UMHS is 1030

Realistically I will not be able to spend more than a few minutes

That's okay :)

It's okay if you cant come by at all too

I don't want to cramp your style if you're looking to get out of the house, just go :)

Baaaaaaaabe

You are making me sad

I know I'm sorry I feel stuck

No it's not that

You make the decision and I'll go with it

I feel bad because you think i want to skip out on you

I do have an alternate solution but you wouldnt see me

No I don't think that

I'm just trying to be realistic

About my availability

It really is okay whatever you decide

Knowing helps me plan

Planning gives me less anxiety

Exactly

So plan on me not having more than the ability to do a drive by, basically

And if it makes no sense for me to do that, it's fine

Okay

New subject - would you be able to go by aurelius & cavanaugh around 6 or later today?

This one does not concern me

Highly doubtful

Any time this weekend?

Possible this weekend, yea

I found a cool uranium piece. All you would need to do is pick it up from a porch

Whoa!

From a porch??

You're goo

Good

Lol

I have skills

And goo

Not yet

Anyway

Snort

FYI
Tomorrow I will be mostly unavailable after work until late, like 0200 or something
Np if you want to message me, but I might not be able to get back to you quickly

I will be very asleep then

Whats going on with you tomorrow?

null

11" across

Dang that's cool

I just have to tell the person if i want it and if they should set it out bingbangboom a little paypal later and you have a disb thing

I'm the driver for tomorrow's concert in Flint, and we have to pick up one of her friends in Dimondale too

null

Ah. Yes.

Well I'm having surgery to reroute and gradt some vasculature

*graft

I mean doesn't everyone? Come on lol

2 - 2.5 hours if things go well

But it's also the side my port is on, so who knows

Better be some type & cross available in the blood bank

A+

Wouldnt be the first. Or second. Or.....

Same :)

I was in the room when my sister was infused with my blood once. That was a strange feeling

You've had transfusions??

No not me

Pure as snow I am

Ah

Offensive

I didn't say what kind of snow

Mmhmm

I was a full 40% portuguese at one point

Hmm

I thought family was primarily Polish?

I'm probably mixed up

Had 40% of my blood volume transfused in lisbon

Oh I see lol

With a healthy dose of wine I bet

Probably moreso fish and egg tarts

Paella!

It is one of the worse stories youll hear from me at some point

null

Very nice! Shoulda bought all of the last week

I only saw 1. Were there more?

All the CDs

Back to dying for me

No, no death

Did you eat yet

Yes

I am laying on the floor to help now

Rawr

null

Did we decide what's happening?

Don't count on me being able to go anywhere this evening

Sorry :(

That isnt an issue. Actually kind of a relief

No sorry

Okay?

But hey - i feel so much better after some orthostatic adjusting and a smack of cold air to my lungs

Good deal!

Arriving at u of m by 1030 tomorrow morning, surgery early afternoon, should take 2 - 3 hours under anaesthesia, then recovery, then back here i think

In case i didnt say all that

Ok thanks! Good to know

Heyo

O hai

I have a choice for you to make

Would you rather have a description in words or a pic that is not the whole pic?

Hmm

I'm usually a "show me the evidence" kinda person, but I think words beats incomplete pic

Night sky constellations and smaller or wilderness twilight and larger?

There are only 2 choices

First option

Thanks

Tissue or non?

Non

I figured

Just so you know, i am typically a wonderful gift wraptress

But what I'm doing for yours is genius if non pretty

I wrapped semi pro for a fall & winter at Borders after all

I knew I recognized you from America's hottest wrappers

Did not realize I was depriving you with my answers to questions that had zero context, but hey

I would have not hyperpackaged your random items anyway

How you planning THAT explanation??

Heehee!

For reals

Remember that dude that came on America's Hottest Wrappers with like a bag of flour tortillas and everybody was staring at him until finally that one chick said "wtf are you doing here?"

Stone cold silence

I've never seen someone look so smacked down

Felt bad for that guy

He made a mean Cæsar wrap Iirc, not that I would eat it

Are you already high.?

Why do you oss assifer?

Thought si

Secret code ftw

Girl I have been in my head all day doing technical writing. I love it but it puts my brain in a weird place sometimes

Coulda been in me.

Such a shame

Dammit I know it

Dude why did you leave me on read

Didn't

I think i nap now

Ok bebe

2024-12-19T19:25:35

Haeeeee

Well hello

How are things there?

Smooth as a baby poo after eating punkin

Punkin

Me & El Gato just had a little fade out as well

Feeling nice

Mine was not the least bit successful

Oh poo

I'm sorry

Wherefore

Dude my heart is just going to stop

Whyyy

Overstimulated, stress, sleep deprived, weird blood flow

And ofc work

I still have to work 6 hours this week

It'll get done just.... yeesh

How is that possible?

Mandatory OT

Again. Still.

And help me understand mandatory ot in the same period as pto

Makes zero sense

Pheu

Well poopy poop poo I'm sorry so much

Yep

Also in the same week they veil that they would've ratger just fired me

Going to try and fetal myself up so maybe i sleep a tiny amount

That's Horrible I'm sorry

One thing at a time babes
Think positive thoughts

Heck
Focus on humming if it helps

You know i dont hum conciously, right?

I am now

Oh you didnt know before?

You probably told me but I forgot

I also twirl or play with my hair incessantly if it's down

So i always wear it up

Oh I have witnessed the twirl in person

I can relate

I don't do it so much anymore

You've seen me do it?

Yes I've been in the same room when you started

And iirc there are details of that evening you don't remember

Oh. Interesting

And I know why

There are details of most times with you i do not recall

I know of a couple anyway. Sometimes you actually mention you might not remember something

Which is sad to me in a way

Yes. I know that's weird but i can feel the switch

:(

But I hope it's something you can heal through

I hope so, too

I understand blacking out trauma though, so I read you

Can you explain more?

And it isn't always trauma

Fair enough

It's a heightened emotional state

I've oublietted several epochs and events in my time with RLH

Really?

She was angry with me when she first realized it, after my ONS

Wait, she knows?

I legit could not keep up with the emotional pressure and I started blanking out

Above t the ONS?

About?

Yes

Does she know?

Oh yeah
I still have things tossed at me from time to time about that

Interesting

I'm sorry

Thx

And the whole discovery thing was ick, and I started blacking out memories

I would like to hear this sometime

I will share mine as well

One sec, brb

2024-12-20T06:45:30

Hi

Hiee

How's it going?

Waking up is hard to do lol

Ready for your big day?

Not really

Struggling cery hard at waking up. Antibac shower now

Et toi?

Im about to leave so idk when i can chat next

I hope you have lots of fun today, or that it's at least tolerable

Thx!
Bon chance!

😊

I feel so awful right now

Cant wait for the good drugs

Yeah!

2024-12-20T21:12:39

Hope it was a fab concert

Hiee

How are you?

Okay

You?

null

null

null

null

I'm fine!

Peep the ID on the ankle

They got you covered

I begged off

I'm home alone

null

Not my fave IV

Yuck!

Everything went ok?

And my lip is swollen

Yep

Do you know normal dialysis flow?

Not really

600 - 1000 ml per (??)

Minute maybe

Know what mine was?

Yeah

No guesses?

4000

4 liters

That's a damn gallon

Dang girl

I do that in my aquarium all day come in over

It wasnt a good thing lol

I'm sorry

But holy fuck it hurts

Your arm?

Yes. What else? For real

I'm sorry babe :(

Imma go back to sleep

100%

null

2024-12-21T00:38:38

Wish you were here

I miss you, too

Aww

How are you?

Feeling better thx

Tell me about your day?

Yay my sweetie!

It's been nothing special really

Dialed into a dept meeting, which was actually fun. Did a couple lame things at work

Boys came by
Boys left

I told wife I don't wanna go to show

I've been getting drunk, cleaning, and doing laundry

And playing music

And eating chocolate and nasty potato chips snacks all night

Fucking America babe

And

Can i know more details?

Wait for it

Playing with my

A.....

Next letter?

U

My auld lang syne, you are correct

Thought so

My auspicious things

Augmented phallis?

Umm, I wasn't going to tell you

Oh

I had my implant removed

I didnt say artificially augmented

And I'm full of shit actually

You are wondering about augmented phallus?

Da

What did they give you?

Or deny lol

During or after

Yes, but especially after

It's laughable

Dorks

null

Aaaaaaaaaand

Wait for it

Ready?

null

Gee

I could take all 7 and not need that

Ffs

What is naloxone

Narcan

Ah

Is that normal?

Keep in mind i get oxy, norco, and more in larger quantities on a normal basis

I have NEVER gotten a narcan rx

I see
How weird

Gotta be a cya surgical thinf

Yeah I know you take much more than oxy

Agree cya

In murixa

Lol

Sorry. Typinc is hard

So vegetables right?

Veg 100%

Btw

null

So swollen

Iz ow

That's 1 later of Ace bandage

And i have an enlarged brachial artery from the extra volume the fistula was pumping. As a side effect. No, brach artery was not the fistula highway, just adjacent and jealous i guess

That is wild

Is it problematic?

Causes pain they said

Lol

Oh

Well

Lovely

But seriously - 4L a minute through an art-ven graft

Told them for years it didnt feel great

Hopefully once i even out i will be less dizzy too

It affected bloodflow in my whole body

Who knew

Ya wow that sounds hugely disruptive!

Your poor little body has been trying to compensate for this perverse plumbing

Yep

I think ive had 4 separate transfusions. 3 of them since the fistula has been around. Love me some 7ish hb

Oh shit - i think i put something together

Eh?

During playtime ny heart obv beats a lot more. More fistula flow. I get really cold

Makes sense to me now

Totally!

You have a short circuit
Literally

Had

And i solved this like 10 hours after waking up from anaesthesia. With oxy on board. And benadryl.

My smart baby

Rough as nails you are

Tough I mean

Imma chew m6 arm off now though

My poor baby!!!

Everything still sounds muffled and fuzzy. And takes longer to process. I hate that

Do you know what they gave you?

Not that those drugs are much familiar to me

When I had my wisdom teeth lulled

Pulled

A few years ago
I was amazed with the drugs

Surgery similarly, but much deeper for me

Are you at your mom's house?

null

Versed righr before

Propofol to sleep

Tylenol injection at the site

Dexamethasone

Fentanyl

Lidocaine at wrist and at site

Norepinepherine

Zofran

Ancef (obviously)

Lactated ringers (blood levels werent great)

Im in my bedroom

Oh!

You've had a long day

Kinda but i am awake now

My lip hurts lol

But for real

Do you ever give rlh jewelry?

I have a point to this

I frequently give her jewelry in a specific genre. Old turquoise and sterling silver. American SW is a treasure trove

She has several kg of the stuff by now

Right. Cool for the artistry

Wish i knew where the one im selling is. Id totally vend it to you

Lol pawn star?

I do what i want lol

Yumm

Any books for her? I can for sure loot my tbgro piles

Nah she's all electronic, unless there's a duck off cool picture book

A what kind of pic?

An Ireland coffee table book would get her attention

But honestly

Don't

I have some

She needs not be reminded

You can totes shop here

You are totes delish thank you!

😊

I will gladly pay in whatever form of currency you prefer

Or credit

Barter?

I have only myself
And
My services

And simple tools and ancient methods

Im good with that

I am a simple man

At your service

I wish I was anyway

I want my ears kissed

Perhaps the lobes suckled upon

Please

I love doing this for you!

Do you know my favorite part of aex? Real question

Lol!

I do not know the answer

And I totally agree this is a real thing

You have no guesses?

I might

Something something safely?

Safety?

Interesting thought

But no

Ok

Hint - It's a physical part of the whole interactiom

I know you love me to kiss your neck

And je t'adore

Neck, clavicle, ears, etc. Yes.

Getting turned on is my favorite

And you do it SO WELL

Aww! Ty!

I love to do it so much for you

I just love you

And having you play all over me is fantastic

I always want more but wont actually say so

Ohhh I'm swooning 🥰

You're so sweet to me

Nah

But i do try

The box of things i gave for you is vasically things that are cool or quirky or useful and are almost all pre-owned but i hope you know it helps show a little of how much i think of you. How often. And i pay attention to little details about you

I appreciate that so much! You have shown me several times now your impressive memory for details

Thank you 🙂

It's only for things that matter to me though

Like.... non maths lol

Lol

See you are sweet!

I am having trouble typing now :(

Mee too babes

Call it for tonight?

Parting is such sweet sorrow

null

Blablahblahsonnet the morrow

Poor baby sausagehands

Mmfmmfmmf i can't hear you buried in you

Sleep well angel face

Sir those are fingers on my shin

I was going to ask if they are unusually oxygenated today

And swolled

Yes

The deuuuuugs

And very warm

Bundle up

Drink water

Sleep well

I will drink my gzero. Could go for some salty noodles

Pay no mind when I escort Sadie from the room with treats in hand

Actually, my sodim and ph were both kinda low

She is not here with me

Get yer noodle on girl

I suspect R will be home by 0300 or so lol

Am very sorry i cant do anythjng

Ofc
It's ok

Ph was 7.31

PCO2 was 52

PO2 was 43

Sodium was 133

Glucose was 79

Anion gap was 3

Those were abnormal for UMHS labs today

From vbg

Hurray no abg though

That's good

Still have scars from those

I was kinda good at them

But that's really saying I sucked less

You werw allowed to do them?

Oh yah

Clarification

Mine were all done in PICU and you have to be a physician back then to do them

Only by art stick

Never on a line/Cath

And I think we only drew wrist

Anyway, yeah
CF kids too :(

You can kinda see the stitch marks

null

Left wrist

Mine was stitched in. Did you do that kind?

Noo

Oh

Maybe we're talking different things?

I think i had a glass tube?

We had a special 5ml syringe

Art stick in the wrist

It was 20ish years ago

Have an ice bath ready

Mine was in for days and on a monitor

I think at least

The syringe was "blunt"

Was always for dka

You had a line?

Maybe?

Art line, sounds like

CCUs not uncommon

Poor baby!

Here's what i remember...

Arterial
Did blood gas draws a lot
Measured pressure and stuff too
Glass tube?
Placed by physician only
In PICU
For DKA

Makes sense to me.

Art line for sure in PICU

NO POKES!

Ans awake for placement. Always.

AAAAAAAA

why????

I was between 15 and 17 for all of them

Because i deserved it?

No!

Not true

You have like dozens of people to say that to

Np

I didnt take my insulin and DKA was the consequence, hence i earned the PICU stay

And therefore artline or IO or IJ or NG tube or canopy thing or sitter or whatevwr

I understand the critical aspect
But intentional cruelty?

They had me make my own bed and put my gait belt on

Once the gait belt holder git ditracted and i fell. I told them i felt like i snapped something

3 or 4 days later when my arm was too swollen to bend, they did an xray. Broken bone.

They?

Medical staff at the hospital

6 Mott

Dont know who gave the directive

And you trust this lot?

I also weighed less than 100 pungs, had an NG tube, and didnt have a single thing pass my lips for 6+ months. Nit even water

My poor babygirl how old were you?

When i was starting to eat again i got refeeding syndrome. Blood sugars also went crazy. Took 10 juice boxes one night to get me to maintain a glucose of 35

Still in the hospital

 ​😮​ to “ When i was starting to eat again i got refeeding syndrome. Blood sugars also went crazy. Took 10 juice boxes one night to get me to maintain a glucose of 35 ” 

I was between 16 and 18

Ive been this height or a little more since i turned 10, if you need perspective on that weight

And i think i told you my mother consented to me undergoing ECT at the tail end of me being 17

You did indeed

I turned 18 soon enough - on the 6th floor of peds med at UM Mott in Ann Arbor- and was ambulance transferrwd to Rush in Chicago ao maybe i would live post intense ED treatment

I'm glad you're here babes

Thanks

I mean it

I appreciate that

You know i think I'm indestructible right

Probably a less than good thing

Kind of?

I understand where you're coming from

Where? I should probably confirm or correct

The indestructible bit

Right

What do you think my thoughts are there? Explain it to me as if you are me

"I'm going to do this thing bc I want to "

That's one qay i think, yes

I think for the indestructible part though, I've tried to take myself out a number of times, outside forces keep trying.... i try and give up and the universe throws me back in for another round. I iust wish i knew why. And any martyrdom reasons

There is no reason anyone should have half my traumas and survive but i do. I wish i knew why. Like a "why me?" Constant stream of thought but a hindsight why here and now. What effect could i possibly have on the world that needs me around so badly

Side note - do you know where my thermometer is up here?

2024-12-21T09:42:38

null

Happy winter!

Oh is it now? Merry solstice to you!

And a happy festivus to the rest of us

:)

null

Wow that frame

Noooo the pic!

null

I took the pic

And painted the thing, unfinished so far

Need a desk?

$113

null

How's the arm?

Actually pretty good

I am in and out of sleepies :(

What are you doing all day?

Going uranium mining

Aww wish i could go!

I'd love to mine you I mean mine with you

Make you mine, even

Yesss

Feel free to buy me the whole store

Just for you!

I always deserve presents :)

You do!

Yay! 🎉

😊

How long are you grounded?

I don't know

Why, whatcha got?

An undying lust

2024-12-21T16:14:05

Hiya

null

How's the day been?

So quiet you are

I was out gathering for a few hours, just got home maybe 30 minutes ago

Nice

What did you source?

A lot of radioactive glass!

Cool! From where? Can i see?

It's still wrapped up but I will un wrap later so you can see

From ye olde Williamston shoppe -- thank you for the ref!

Oh yay!

Do you need more?

The lady behind the counter was the vendor for two of the pieces, she gave me a little discount

😊

I don't need more now, but I do want to keep tabs on sources

There's a booth at Megamall between aisles K & L

I got 250 worth today lol

Holy cats!

It is a tad pricey in there

But I want to go back and look at some of the wool tartan things I saw

Shoulda gone to aurelius and cavanaugh or wherever i told you

Oh you did say that yes

I know a cool site or 2 for scot tartans

https://www.usakilts.com/kilts-and-packages.html

https://scottishshop.com/

Oh yeah my kids buddy has a bunch of these iirc

Nice!

Macleods i go to when im in stratford

So at least once a year

Ooh! Yay!

There's an amaaaazing antique mall i want to go to spend way more time in in woodstock ON

And some cool ones around stratford

And i semi collect art from a place there in stratford called Indigena

Started collecting native soapstone carvings when i was 12 in alaska/yukon/BC

You see a lot in antique shops too

And i have a lot of vintage or antique books i think are fantastic but may part with

I was a bit overstimulated in that store I have to admit

That's why when i go somewhere i take forever

I also dont see well and get curious about hideyholes so people get irritated when theyre with me and want to hurry along

That's one reason i appreciate you so much

:)

Do you have capacity for any time together this week?

It is okay to say no

Probably yes

Not sure when exactly, but yes

Excellent

Yay!!!

How doing?

Good good
Completed aquarium water change, about to assess chemistry

What are you up to?

Just got off the phone

Am in croffice hoping to get some stuff done

Do you happen to know the cheapest local place for ultra basic poster frames?

Like, nbd to replace again kinds that go in a basement

Poster frames eh? Like how big?

22.375 by 34

That's poster sized for most, believe it or not

Gotcha 👍

Meijer?

They used to have cheap frames anyway

I know meijer, target, wm, michaels, noann, hoblob all have them

I was hoping for secret insight

Ah, sorry love

No worries 🙂

Omgggggg

null

Up to mid forearm

Oweeeee!

It's the itching

Pain i can deal with better

Oh god no

Itching aaaaaa

Just kill me uggghhh

Really though, how do i help thia?

Welp
Here are three things I did that improved the situation for me

1
Shower and use natural soap. No liquid soap.

2
Adult dose

Cannot do #1

Already had 100mg diphenhydramine

null

Ah good on #2

Bummer on #1

But it's ok

One more

Have to get a pic one sec

I cant unbandage it yet

That was accidental unrolling and just bruising

null

Or other good moisturizer

My derm was right

About my condition

Yours is a tad different bc surgery and all

Yea. And i cant unwrap it

Poor baaaaaabeeeeee

I'm sorry about it
Itching sux

It itches so badly it hurts. Like biting

I wish I could distract you

It's difficult to ignore but may be possible

I'm very irritable. And hungry. And want to scream. And go get things done

Sorry babe

But please feel welcome to distract

I mean it

You help

Is anyone helping you at all

Just a dude diligence question

Should I order food for you?
I will donit

I will do it

I appreciate that

Yes, most of the time have help

Food would cause too many questions but thanks

Though i was already challenged at what I'm eating. Or was

It's fine

Have had worse parts so far

I am just bitchraging at this point

Whereforart these distractions?

null

Zut alors

What is happening?

It was a long shot, but the baskets are too small for the ultrasonic water bath

No worries tho

Ah okay

I sources the baskets from you

Yes

There are four
I will put them in service soon enough

Okay

Aye

Typical scene here

RLH is posylatizing to the boys

I can't spell

I cant tell what that means

Sense 2
https://www.google.com/search?q=proselytize&oq=prosyla&gs_lcrp=EgZjaHJvbWUqEQgBEAAYChhGGPkBGLEDGIAEMgYIABBFGDkyEQgBEAAYChhGGPkBGLEDGIAEMgwIAhAAGAoYsQMYgAQyDAgDEAAYChixAxiABDIJCAQQABgKGIAEMgwIBRAAGAoYsQMYgAQyCQgGEAAYChiABDIMCAcQABgKGLEDGIAEMgkICBAAGAoYgAQyCQgJEAAYChiABDIJCAoQABgKGIAEMgkICxAAGAoYgAQyCQgMEAAYChiABDIJCA0QABgKGIAEMgkIDhAAGAoYgATSAQg2MjM5ajBqN6gCFLACAQ&client=ms-android-google&sourceid=chrome-mobile&ie=UTF-8#ebo=0

Shoulda known

Took another trip down memory lane today

Prose comes from praise

Ahh, too funny
This is like perverse praise

Lamenting?

It's a typical mode of conversation for them
Perhaps lamenting
Perhaps praising
Always dropping f bombs and the incredible superlatives
It really adds to the authenticity... Um, no actually

One sec pl

Step son much story much fucking God damn this and fucking God damn that too. Fucking God damn it.

Baaaaabes help meeeee

Step son is drunking my ear off

null

2024-12-22T00:34:35

Good night sweet babe if you are sleeping ❤️❤️❤️

2024-12-22T02:59:30

null

2024-12-22T05:54:24

Sorry babes

It was a terrible night herw

2024-12-22T08:09:24

Oh no !

2024-12-22T13:36:05

Hey

Hi babe!

Hi

How are you what's up?

Just waking up. Last njght was bad

What happened baby?

Pain

So much that i was actually screaming til the xanax knocked me out

Oh babe I'm so sorry!

Thanks

How is it now?

It's ok. I am very sleepy

How are you?

I'm fine
The wife had a meltdown upstairs. Something about "I'm the only one who cares about Christmas".

Sometimes it's good that the step dudes are here

I'm sure I'll hear about it soon enough

Im sorry babe

I am very non lucid still

This is why I hate this time of year tbh

You just rest

I have a ton to do

Byt yes

2024-12-22T17:39:51

Heyyyy

Hey babylicious!

How are you?

I'm good

Just on my way home from Kroger

How are feeling?

I'm okay

Spent the day drugged & sleeping

What did you do?

Tried to stay out of the way

Doing well so far

Literally watched sand dunes in my aquarium for a while

Thought about making a turntable shelf. Might do yet tonight

2024-12-22T19:17:00

null

null

null

null

null

null

Your poor arm!
I'm taking doggo so she won't be traumatized

null

2024-12-22T20:45:47

Hi

Oh hello !!

null

How are you?

Doing fine!

I just finished cleaning, and have started playing a few old lps from step-son's dearly departed uncle

Cool cool

Yeah

How are you doing sweetheart

I hate this

I know

I'm sorry

It'll get better

Did i show you my arm?

Yes

So owie

All over your pretty arm!!

And itcccchhhhy

Aaaaa!

How is the incision?

Idk. Atill covered. More than one

Ah

Ok

I cannot wake up

Meds ftw for you rn

Babe :)

I wish I could take care of you

I dislike not being able to do anything

My poor baby

I have presents for you!
When you feel better

Awwwww

Too sweet

OMG this music

??

Serious 60s surfer drug addict shite atm

It's so corny

What's up buttercup

null

Anyhoo

OMG the lollipop song now

No joke

I think i am falling back asleep (

Ok babes

I love you

Sleep well

Ily too

null

2024-12-23T00:57:04

Hope you are feeling better!

2024-12-23T04:06:45

null

I love you too, pudding cup!

2024-12-23T06:20:03

Hey babes!

O hai!

How are you?

Sleepy :)

Awww

Enjoy going back to freamlanf

*dreamland

How are you sweetie?

So much better. Still a way to go but better

Did i show you pucs last night?

Yes you did
Owwww!

null

null

null

null

Yeah, those?

Thems the ones!

Yep

That's all I've seen so far

I'm glad to hear that you're feeling better ❤️

So far anyway

I had a lottttttt of drugs in my system too

Whatcha doin today?

I'm not sure tbh
Maybe visit despotica
I still need wood lol

Lol

And nails?

Feel welcome to bring me frames :)

Maybe nails
I got some but I'm questioning whether they are the right ones

Boys will return today and then I believe she will go grocery shopping in prep for the holy pizza day that is Wednesday

Are they majing the string art themselves?

I guess so? Not sure

Want an idea?

Sure 🙂

Get rlh or with of them a practice kit

That will also help you decide on nails

Good thinking!

Aww thanks

Do you know which i mean?

You can get them in any craft/kid craft section. Walmart, target, michaels, Joann, maybe even 5below

null

Kitteh Iz broken

Iz zleepy

Hey guess what!?

What?!

I have time later this week for you

Unsure about before the 25th

Goody!

😊

null

Any of those for you?

2024-12-23T08:58:47

Hey you

2024-12-23T12:03:42

Sorry babe I drifted off again

2024-12-23T13:35:38

Happy apres midi

Hay babeses!

How's it been going?

Good, good

What did you do?

I've done almost nothing lol

Same

Well not really but i have a significant obstacle to getting more done

Like, an arm?

No

Next guess?

Umm

A boat

More like a spouse who took the day off "to take care of me"

Who has slept this whole time

That was going to be my next guess lol

Do you need to go somewhere?

A few places

I xant go anywhere though, or i would have gone by now

Le sigh

2024-12-23T19:17:06

Le hiee!

Hey

Almost home... chat soon

Okay!

2024-12-23T22:21:11

🟡

Hi

I am terribly sorry for the neglecting

null

But who is who?

Imma lick you for that

We're equally matched

Okay

What's wrong?

Nothing

Hay

All is well

Did you say "hay" because it means "there is" in portuguese?

No ha ha I am not so clever

It's more of an infection

Plus

Hay sweet baby

Bc sweet

You're good at things right

Do you remember where I put my science experiment?

Umm

Refrigerator?

Good guess
Try again?

Hint:

Mise en place

Ramekins

Aye

What doing?

Mmhmm

null

Hi

Omg!

Quelle est?

Ma douce

Le rowr rowr

Been.... a day. What did you end up doing?

2024-12-24T05:28:43

Hey baaaaaabe

2024-12-24T08:35:13

Good morning!

How are you?

How was yesterday? Plans today?

All is well I reckon. I'll probably lay low today.

Where'd you go yesterday?

Nowhere til like 6pm. Then over to Waverly. Then home.

Was spousally overshadowed

Really wish i could see you today

Same!

Dont you have to sneak off somewhere pretty soon? Hinthinthint

I'm sure I do

Well then it should be settled

I still need to bring you things

Ditto

I think ive asked, but any lamps for you?

Books for rlh from my stash? For real

Thanks but no

Okay :(

Snowbabies?

They're figurine things from the 90s

Comme ca

null

Do you need any more ideas?

Kitteh like snow babies

I think I'm set thank you!

Fine.... dont take my junk!

Lol
How about the in-laws?

I'll trade those!

I could be the one's older stepmum

Lolll

I mean younger

From what I've seen they're all 13 yo

I meant I'll take yours

Zero hope for mine

Hehe

So what do y'all do for today, tomorrow? Any particular annual thing?

My mom's house in the morning and into afternoon. Quick bite to eat, open stockings, open presents from each other, jave lunch, chill, home.

When i was little we always opened one package on Christmas eve and it was always new holiday pajamas

You?

Eve is usually RLH waiting until the last minute to make ready for the next day and getting flustered
C-day open gifts, Narayan will spend hours making a cheese tray, then kitchen becomes Superfund site as Christmas pizzas are made

Fallout radio will be on all day

I'm so over it

I soooooo want to escape with you, even for a little, today

How about a week?

Lol

Ofc!

I'm complaining but nothing is really expected of me. It's just a horrible sensory overload for me b

If I haven't mentioned this, they all talk at the same time, constantly

Each one trying to be heard

And over whatever background noise there is

I understand

Mine are the same way

I have to close my eyes sometimes

Awwwe

This too shall pass

Then Nitya's birthday is Saturday

I can't find the crowbar I got him

Do you know what I did with it?

Not a clue

Trunk?

I think i might actually go somewhere. I'm too indecisive. Aaaargh

So are you actually free today?

Well i am awake and he is not.... says he's waking up by 1pm but who knows

Whatcha got?

I was just confused. I thought you were under lock & key

Kinda

But...... the sleep

Lol

So no rescues today?

Damn it all

Dammit!
Yeah I'm kinda stuck here

2024-12-24T12:20:28

null

Kitteh Iz wrapper?

Yep

Japanese playing cards??

Still confined to home?

null

Heyyyyyyy

Hiee...

Contusion U

Much bruise

Yes

How does it feel?

Swollen

I have been super productive today!

Yay you!

Good job

Thanks

Do you get "rebound energy" after illness/medical issues?

Possibly? This is a new concept

I made it up
But for many times after I'm down with a cold or whatever, I get crazy impulses to clean it organize afterward

Yes!

Real quick - light or dark for me?

null

null

Dark

For pale babe

Lol thanks

How to remove printed-on acrylic paint (the location name) from a fabric bag? (So it doesn't have words on it)

Can you sand down rough cork? Not important stuff, just some rough bits from a little water damage

I feel weird and do not like it

I'd try a gel citrus stripper on the paint

No reason you couldn't sand cork I suppose

Too bad you don't have your presents :(

You toooooooo

Any ideas on any freetime the next week or so?

And what kind of gel might i have here? Or other product

Pretty sure I can get away with either Thursday or Friday, then Monday or Tuesday

I think gel stripper is pretty common. You'd know if you've used it. All paint stripper is nasty

As in harmful

Right. Maybe I'll try nail polish remover

Spot test it ofc

Worth a shot!

Wanna see something cool??

Yah!

null

Cats and dogs thrifted ornaments this yeat

Hehe cute!

null

Niiiice

There has to be collector's value in that

The story I heard was California would not let them open stores with that name, so they changed it

Right. Derogatory in people's minds for obv reasons

Idk if the story is true.

Wish you wore caps for this reason lol

But yeah

I'm wearing one in my Google profile

That was my "camping mode" hat

Can you go get my stuff off the porch & being it upstairs? Plz

On it

Thank you

Might take a couple days

Okay

Start hoofing it

Maybe stop at skymint along the way

Sure sure

There's a surgery center along the way. Anything I can grab for you there?

All of it

Maybe see if my spouse is still alive

Hmm

What test do you recommend?

Not sure

I can probably do it

Might need food soon anyway

It's just 2 whole floors away

And i iz injured

My poor baby!

At least it's down stairs

Yeah

Then again he said he would wrap it all

Whatever at least i got shit done

Good job babe!

Frame color?

Maybe mat too

null

How pretty!

Idk frames... Somehow I have no ability or where to start

Wood or something else?

I have all sorts

Kinda got a thing for frames

How about a blonde wood?

Is contrast good?

I dont have a finished one, so not for this

Cool

What do you like?

Idk. Shiny ir iridescent might be good

I have to forage

Bon chance!

Pardon

Bonne chance!

Haha just cleaned up this old girl
I've been processing a lot of vinyl lately

https://open.spotify.com/album/3olTjegBD2x0kKzOCp9Vof?si=ndAjPGPoQHKgXPxGw5q8kA

Catchy!

Lol

You kinda have to hear "sex"

It was really out there at that time

And I just realized how many references I missed as a 7th grader

According to the info, you hadnt yet realized "sex"

Lol

True

The album name got me

I was little boy

Fancy me

Do you remember the first time you realized what happens when you have a happy pants dance?

Sadly no

You feel welcoke to tell me all about you and yourself anyway ;)

Lol
I like "the Metro" much better. That's the song I bought the album for

I'll work on that while you tell me why you like it

It was a good MTV video for one

And the little songbird is cute

Canadonian I believe

And the vignette is engaging

OMG they are so edgy lol

"torture" is waaaaaay over the top

There was a time, however brief, when I embraced this feeling

Say more

Right

Just looking up my age

Bc I can't in my head

Spreadsheet ftw

So basically age 14

This is a hot item on my radio

Yes

I have a summer income mowing lawns

Im certain I bought this with such funds

And listened to every. Single. Moment.
Bc when you spend 30% of your weekly income on a goddamn record

That's what you do!
Lol

And it definitely got promoted to tape so I could use Walkman

Which was a fucking deal

And fu I got mine

Mowing lawns baby!
Lol

Wooooooo

Haha I'm getting animated for no reason

I should put on a video game

And get furred up!

You wit me

You miss me?

I miss you terribly

I wanna hold you

And hug you

And kiss and kiss you

OMG dude

I can't find the crowbar

3 letter agencies, fuck off

Also

I am le sorry

Can't find my UV flashlight

Weird

The drones took them I swear it

They hav something to do with our escape

Right

Wow lol unique encounter

null

Ummmmm

Concern lik

Emm?

null

Nvm

How's it going?

Nope..... tell me about your encounter

And the pic please

I'm super buzzed and had what I felt was the most genuine interaction with my sson

Please tell me!

Wish I could find his crowbar lol

Well he offered me a beer an hour ago, upstairs

And I forgot it and he brought it to me

Oh, and he brought the orange he thought would be nice to add

And we shot the shit about his dead uncle, whose records I have been cleaning and playing

And I packed a bowl and offered it to him

Honestly the last bit is the one closest to the heart

I've had a hard time relating to this guy for
Oh
30 years

Tight

What made the connection tonight?

Who knows

I'm feeling charitable

But honestly

He's not being a wanker

I know he's good at heart
Just misguided sometimes

Haha such a tender moment

I'm really glad you've had that

Me too
Honestly this is once in lifetime sorta moment

But I might be exaggerating

I will have a very awkward question for you soon

Okay

Just know it's not a surprise that i feel when things are "off"

And i feel like that now

Wait what do you mean

No off only on

Hello

I feel like you have something to tell or ask me that you think i will not like

No no, that is not the case!

This is personal questions

I need you to open your brain on me

And other gooey things

Okay

Fair warning that i may be spouse summoned at any point

But i promise i will respond genuinely

null

Yes

Great work!

In your mind's conversations,verbal or otherwise, how do you refer to me?

I will answer first
Usually girlfriend
Also Lover bestie sweetest sweet baby

You are never Andy or Andrew

I dont usually attach a name to you but "babe" is there. Or "chou"

I think of you as a partner but on a different plane. On that plane you are the only one

You're also literally the only one in *that* sense. And have been since before September

What else?

Thank you! I like this description a lot

Especially the "partner" part

And same in that respect

Did i ask or tell this the other day?

null

Right

Yes babe

Oh

I also stole a bag of chocolate chips

And had to fess up

My ass was saved

Bc fml

Lol

null

Chonky steel

Good for pounding
Allllll daaaay

Hopefully someday soon?

I need to lay down. Will ttys ok?

Yes

Ofc

Sweets babe

null

2024-12-24T22:21:25

Lol I am so impotent

Heyyyyyyyyy

Oh mymymy

What?

I took a long shower

For what?

Washed my hair

And you know

Classy

Things

And I feel like

Like

..........

I sure wish my sweet baby was here

But I shall have to wait

I have to get back downstairs in a sec, buuuuuuuuut

I should be alone most Friday thru at least the weekend

Sure sure

Oh hmm!

Well

Unless I hear differently

Boyo BD is Saturday

I have potential for most of next week.....

Oh how lovely

But gtg for now

Sorry love!

Ok BB!

null

Minnnnnnnne

I need a skirt and a reason to shake it

 ​❤️​ to “ Minnnnnnnne ” 

Ill give you yours if you give me mine

100%

Okay but srsly gotta go for now

Oh sure bb

null

Yes?

Leggings are so much more fun than long undies

Merry celebratory thing!

null

2024-12-25T01:40:07

null

null

2024-12-25T03:34:53

Damn babe!

Happy arbitrary celebration of a guy who gets depicted a whole lit like a Borgia to you too!

2024-12-25T07:40:44

null

Season's greetings babe!

Mele kalikimake!

Can i see your keys?

My keys?

Yes

I would like to see your keychain plz

null

Thanks!

2024-12-25T10:56:07

Please call ypon whatever deities you have on call to give me strength and shielding for the day

null

Good luck today babe!

2024-12-25T21:11:29

Hello!

Hello?

Hello

How are you?

Meh
Overstimulated
I'm going to bed

How is your day

Finally home and done

Can i help you at all?

Im really sorry

It's ok, I just can't with them any more today
I think I'm going to be stuck here tomorrow, but free Saturday maybe

Okay

You know tomorrow is thursday?

I honestly could not have my phone today or i would have

I understand, no problem

😞

I'm probably forgetting why Thursday

You went straight to Saturday, that's all

You can be mad, you know

Not mad, just tired

Such a rigmarole

Yes

But you can feel any amount of anything

Without needing permission or reason

It's what you get in exchange for being alive

I suppose so
How was your day?

Mixed at best. More tolerable than most i guess

Would you like to tell me more about yours?

Actually mine was kinda bad but still not my worst. Id rather hear about yours

Lol

I guess they were up all night

We didn't really start gathering until 1500 and not really doing anything until 1600

Just you 4?

Yep

Okay

What did you do the first part of the day?

Nothing really. I think I scrolled Reddit for hours

Food?

Well the hour long cheese tray did happen between 1500 and 1600. I had some of that

They've been making pizzas since 1900 or so

I just can't this time

Oh im sorry, is your day still going?

Where are you rn?

I'm in bed upstairs

Downstairs is chaos

My day is over as far as I'm concerned

Any gifts or was that yesterday or not at all?

All today

Except for birthday gifts, I guess we're doing that tomorrow (as opposed to Saturday)

What's up Friday?

As far as I know, nothing

Oh, okay

How is your arm?

It was really bothersome all day

If I'm going t9 be honest, it bothered me most of today then i had spotty vision when the pain and weird symptoms got there. I'm not doing great otherwise and am way too internally overstimulated, hyperactive, and exhausted and senses are hurting me

Sounds like time to relax

I agree. I am teying but the symptoms are combattive against one another

Does that happen to you?

Sort of, sometimes

I've definitely had to practice distracting my mind to avoid unproductive rabbit hole thoughts at times

So how do you do that?

Mindless scrolling sometimes works lol

Or trying to play out a nice fantasy

Maybe you should just tell me more of your fantasies

Maybe we should rehearse them :)

I don't know how to do that

Alas
Me neither

Do you have different body moods when you're in different headspaces or emoting one way or another?

I don't think so?

Unless I am physically ill or uncomfortable... Which aren't all that often

So if you're angry or upset, you would want sex to be __________

(Adj please)

Like I can't put those in the same space actually

So your answer is not along the lines of wanting to fuck the nonsense or upset feeling out of your system?

Correct
I can't honestly imagine being upset and having sex

Okay thanks

Besides, I don't get upset much. I just get depressed now 😆

What does depression look like or act like in your life in its various stages?

Like, how would you or someone else know if you're in an episode

Good questions, I'm not sure I can answer completely

I know personally I feel unmotivated, and want to do nothing but sleep

Do you still go to work? Cook?

Drink more?

Stay out more?

Work yes. Cook no. Especially if anything is slightly annoying in the kitchen, which is a given. I never go out anyway.

I used to take a very long route home from work. Like an hour or more.

I did that a lot 2017-2018

The neck years

??

RLH's neck and spine fiasco would have been then

You're not wrong. I was also pretty frustrated with work

Because?

I felt impotent and wasn't doing what I enjoyed

Also was much closer to the politics in management, which is rather demoralizing

Ah. I feel much of that plight

Yeah I'm sure you do!

I want your warmth here with me. Ok?

You still want me?

Whaddya mean "still" huh?

Again, then?

Again and again and again

:)

Did you know i was reallllly questioning this for the last week+? Maybe 10 days? More?

Nooooo

I'm sorry

It was actually probably longer than that

You didnt know. Weird.

I miss you, you know
Or maybe you didn't
But I sure do

I did not know that. Thank you. I miss you incredibly

I think about you all the time

I daydream about you. You and me. Maybe that counts as thinking.

Happy no longer Christmas

:)

Daydreams count as thinking

I had a very small number of holiday greetings today in any format. This makes me insanely sad

Aw, I'm sorry

It's a bad breathsweeping feeling

Owwww!

It's actually worse but i will be okay from that. I think

In other news I'm paranoid about my arm now

Why so?

It got leaned on today kinda hard. I have no concept of how it should feel or look to me or anyone else and it's all over the place

Oof. Ow

Yes. I actually screamed. And i dont have a real way to check it out just to have peace of mind

How's the circulation? Has it improved at all to your hand?

A tonnnnnnn

The whole adjustment is really bizarre

Wow!

I can't wait to lick your fingers :)

I hope you keep wanting me

I do
And I'm going to drift off now thinking about you and how I want you

Be well babe, and sleep well!

I
Love
You

2024-12-26T06:56:57

null

null

:)

Happy boxing day

Ahh yes!

Only 364 shopping days until Christmas!

Then I'd better start today

May i ask if you received anything?

How did the glass go over?

The glass was a big hit
I still need to take pictures

Im happy i could assist :)

I am forever in your debt!

Nah mate

I got a couple nice tools for the lathe

Congrats!

Anything you'd like to share?

We opened gifts for a very, very long time

We ate once too

Nothing much to share besides that

Yeah

Do you have any dream of what Christmas should be like?

Quiet and cozy. Jist staying home. Blankets and hot drinks and gourmet snacks with sometjing festive for a bigger meal l8ke brunch or afternoon dinner. In my imagination the lights and dim but reading level. Maybe movies. Comfortable

Yours?

That's nice

I'd like to be somewhere else with someone special and free of distractions and expectations. The ritual is killing me

Yes

That's the basis of mine too

11 - 8

That's how long we did our ritual yesterday

Holy guacamole

I was at the end of my rope after three hours

Welp

I feel much better today. I hope we are doing birthday today and not Saturday so I get the house back in order

The 3 of us. In 5he same room and interacting all day. Almost every monute except about an hour was gift opening

Dang

Yes

2024-12-26T09:47:39

Hey

Hi babe!

How ya doin?

Eanna see part of your gift ?

Ok, sure!

Ichthyoid or pachyderm?

Lol! What a choice

Ichth... That one

You jnow them both, yeah?

Yeah

Here fishy fishy

Is wood

null

Aww!

Is special

He's cute!

Is perfect

For you

Thank you!

Used to have fish like this

Je le sais

Before cameras were invented unfortunately

Nah mate

Before you discoveted them

I actually had my dad's old 35mm at the time

Film and processing were too expensive

But we'd drop 30 on a goldfish lol

Then i need to show you another piece of present

Oh?

null

null

With poster(s)!

Is book

Books good

Wow! Thank you so much!

Those tfh books are nice thank you!

You're welcome

Im really excited you like random crap i find in the wild lol

You get a whole bunch from me for this season of holiday

Oh my!

It's geniusly packaged. Just you wait!

Woo!

Busy?

Actually laughing down for a little bit I feel kinda naf

Naf?

Regardless, i hope you feel better soon

2024-12-26T13:02:16

null

2024-12-26T14:20:12

I'm back from my nap!

 ​❤️​ to a GIF 

Much better now

2024-12-26T15:55:01

I had my own just now

Guess who had a not great blood pressure?

Hmm
What are you running?

Idk anymore

Was 70/57 seated and resting

Oh damn girl

That's how my dad cracked his head

Ive been worse lol

Used to be kinda standard honestly

Dialysis and hypotension. I was suuuuuuuper fun to treat

Also a big reason i hate broth based things. Used to have to drink it all the time

Aww
I love broth

It was kind of a force fed thing and never decent broth, hence the dislike

:(

How are you feeling now?

I'm okay

And you? How has the day been?

Alright
Uneventful
I guess the offsprings are staying? No one is making motions to do anything

I'm just laying low (literally in the basement)

Oh, I'm sorry

Could be worse
Could be better

Maybe they'll clean the -$-$-_--_ kitchen lol

null

Extra lovers!?!?!?!

Lol

Yep I keep em in the basement

Creeeeeeper

I have an awkward question about forthcoming days

Not a bad one, just awkward

You know me babe

Bring it on!

How should i decide what to do each day? I plan around other people (you, in this case) and based on what i would want to do, it's easier if i know what your realistic plantenions are

For example, if I'm going to be alone tomorrow afternoon, my choices are to stay and clean, go out on my own, or be here with you. It's insanely hard for me to balance what i should do and want to do with deciding where and when to go anywhere because since i dont drive, when i go out I'm out and when i do that it's for hours but there are also opening and closing times and some places open some days and not others and i can't figure out if i should stay here alone next week or tell L he can bring his sister back and they can stay

The best way i can put it - but i dont want too much pressure - is that i plan everything around you, so how do i decide when i should do other things when I'm waiting on a maybe, and all the available time spots i might have overlap?

Totally understand

I'd feel terrible if I wrecked your plans based on a maybe from me

Truth is I don't / can't plan far ahead for the most part, for reasons, but that's the reality. I think you understand this; I'm happy to say more if you want

So if you've got something you want to plan that's idk tomorrow and I can't give you assurance I am free, just assume I'm not

I never have actual plans

I honestly don't love that but I appreciate you giving me the latitude. I know I'm piss all for availability

And I want to be fair to you

Plans, aspirations, desires...

Don't let me get in the way

I appreciate that, thanks

Everything is always a maybe, so i prioritize what i want most and what's realistic

I want to be with you, but the suspicion tax is easy for me to invoke

I know

Someday, I will not care about that.

Okay

That's up to you

We both need to be ready for that in some way. Not gonna be real soon

Okay

You're so sweet babe

Like I said, I don't like this. This is not my favorite topic. But it's SOoo much easier to have it when we're just being honest and caring

Refreshing

I agree

This honestly simple conversation is the sort of thing that would bizarrely become emotional warfare over here.

Anyhoo

That said

I'm going to figure out what kind of schedule there is with the dither fish(*) and work out if I have freedom tomorrow

Fwiw

Oh (*) like non-playing characters, good for distracting the quarry.

In the case, the boyses are good distractions

Brb

Okay

Sorry, couldnt read that right away

I should be here par seule saturday and Sunday too. Idk other days yet because it's a decision i have to make partly based on you

Most of the reason i bring this up is because the logistics causes me so much stress because i cannot say no or that i cant make it work with you on an occasion. I figure it out, always have for whatever the thing is

For sure! I know logistics is stressful for you, ofc. I don't want to add to it at all. That's my first priority

So Saturday eh?

Yep!

Hmm!

Even more important for me to understand wtf over here lol

See, I haven't known, and haven't cared, for many years

Many

Like you were probably -100 years old

Lol ok

Gad I miss your touch babe!

How is your arm???

Very, very much the same. I'm getting sadder and feeling greedier about yours lol

It's uncomfortable again

Better and grosser color bruising though so that's good

Sorry! Interruption

Dang holidays supposed to be a happy time muthaf...

Not you lol

This is me shouting At clouds

Do you use FB marketplace?

I have, yes

Whatcha need?

I just want to assess pricing and availability of a 75 or perhaps 125 gallon fish tank lol

I'm at a (self induced) decision point sorta, with my aquarium plans

Do you just want me to search for that? Any other parametets?

How close?

No, I think this should be sufficient for now.
You're not under any obligation to do this. I could ask my kids. Or my wife lol. But I know you kinda like discovery. But seriously, ni expectations

I've been looking on the likes of eBay and Craig's list too already-- not much to see that's actually near enough to try

Which size do you prefer?

No real pref honestly. And , you know, there might be an 80, or 105 or something

That's the range I'm most interested in

Would consider slightly larger, but not smaller

#aquariumsizematters

#NotTheSizeOfTheShipButTheMotionFromTheOcean

null

null

And as long as we're on decor,

You rang??

null

This entire "post" looking thing in the middle needs to be disguised

Lots of ways to do that!

I do not want any fasteners or tape on it

It's old AF particle board

Okay, so that excludes command strips?

Possibly - let me check some things and get back to you in perhaps 10 minutes

This basement is like a cave in many ways lol

Take your time - i have to teadwufe for a bit lol

I do trad dad birthday now lol

What is that?

2024-12-26T22:19:16

Just finished birthday gifts

2024-12-27T00:02:29

Happy sleep time, if it is for you!

Heya!

Yesm?

Gonna put some laundry in the dryer and put my arse in bed in a moment

2024-12-27T07:50:00

Morning, traddad!

Traddy daddy?

2024-12-27T08:52:05

Lol! Good morning sweet babe!

How are you?

Fine, fine

Et tu?

Meh

Tell me about last night!

Well, the birthday interlude was a bit odd. I don't understand RLH's behavior

She seemed very frustrated with her children for over half an hour, making side comments about taking care of the dishes and whatnot

I was like the court clown, making jokes and distractions for both sides

She got really frustrated when Nara got hyper focused on something and wasn't paying attention to the next item being unboxed

I mean that is his signature. He's always like that. Not sure what prompted her reaction.

But she kinda snapped at him and it was a momentary buzz kill. Queue the clown lol

The boys disappeared to the back porch for 5 minutes, then we resumed, more calmly

Really weird vibe

Interesting. I have commentary but please continue

Whose birthday?

Nitya

We finished with the gifts. She lit candles on the carrot cake, and we had cake. It was quite good (she made it from scratch, and the cream cheese icing) so I think she appreciated the rave reviews

So presents.... I'm really confused who opened what and for which celebration on which day

Sorry that's a weird focus thing but it'll help me follow the story better if you have a mini agenda or something you can lay out in stupid-people language & format for me

All of that was last night, for Nitya's birthday.

He's the older step son you may recognize as Trevellian

Does that help?

So there was no chrostmas?

Oh yeah, that was Wednesday

Jusssssst nityas biryhday and just him opening things was yesterday

You got it

Okay okay thanks

Yesterday was do nothing day?

Oh wait

Tuesday?

Right.

Okay

And today?

I suspect the boys will be leaving mid afternoon

And rlh? You?

No plans afaik

I may do some cleaning in the living room. It looks like a frat house rn, complete with passed out boys

Never been to one lol

But really, never did

If i go somewhere today, where should it be?

Are there your kinda shops in Old Town?

PS I never went to a frat party either. I avoided those idiots

Same

Plus i was always working and legit too scared to go

At Ferris, at least when i went, each house had a specific rep for which way the girls would be.... well you know

As in, pikes spike for pi kappa alpha

Cute rhyme, right? But ew no

Wow yipe lol

Yeah. Could not make that up

What's going on at your house? L working? Cats working?

Looked at old town stuff, not entirely what I'm thinking of for today but some other day for sure!

I am alone til sunday afternoon at this point. Catses disappeared. Damn nocturnes

Crepuscular so and sos

Maybe I'll try okemos? Kellie's and or meridian?

Felicious things

Oh

I was wrong about the "post" in my basement. Only the face is particle board. The sides are wood, so any fasteners or adhesives are totally fine

Awesome!

How would you like it decorated? I have alternate ideas too

Dude did some weird things when he built this house

Lol

Idk exactly what I want. Something with a natural kind of feel to it perhaps, or a tasteful pattern of some sort

Oh! Japanese - style wall hanging perhaps?

I def attract those!

I actually have probably not what you're looking for but something very cool if youd like it

Lemme find the wall hanging you gave me...

I havent given you one?

null

Do you want me to invite you anywhere today?

Youre missing the best of hair days and puffy non makeup face pver here btw

Aww!

null

Haha there's my bed head girl

Yeah but i got out of bed hours ago lol

Still counts

As long as you're willing to recreate it

Oh ofc

My little pillow princess

You're adorable

null

You do well, UHguy

O ya sure

Danks

Hey - you wore it

I like free clothes lol

I have a kitchen bag you can have lol

Hey wait.... i already free clothed you at least once

null

Yes you've provided me much!

Oh! Those babies!

They're actually perfect size

Do you want frames?

Nah

I need to figure out what to do with the wiring

That's a you problem lol

Anywayyyy

Did you want me to invite you today or avoid it?

Demand free rides and feedings and kisses and back massages?

Accompany you chez kroger?

Well

I think I will need to stick around until 3 or so
Today's probably not a good day
I'm tryna figure out how to get a block of time tomorrow

Okay

I always want to give you the courtesy of asking to come along with but dont want to be too needy or whiny about tempting hang out time

I know :) you're very sweet

Thank you

Back atchya

Which earrings for today?

That's the choice

Emmhmm

Words. Sir

Right!

The ones on the right!

null

Pick a number between 1 and 5000?

969

Isn

Ok let's start counting earrings from the left...

Hahaha

I just got rid of a bunch!

Oh yep. Absolutely

Pfft

Then in thay case i will not be telling you where we can go and find 2/$1 records rn. Locally.

Hey now lol

Wanna go there?

Do you need any dress socks? Bamboo!

Nooo socks

Phoey

I have been getting rid of excess socks

Never thought I would see the day lol

Same!

Im sock-particular

If i legit need quick-ish help in the next few days, may i please ask you?

Sure 🙂

Thanks

If you could maybe have a fake emergency on hand in the event have a real one, that would be wonderful

Actual emergency for me meaning if i need immediate help that isnt 911 worthy but i cant help myself and anyone else is too far

I'm really sorry to even ask

Yeah if you need help get a hold of me plz

Thanks :)

There is always a key under an animal on the porch but this weekend i am leaving it unlocked

Ok good to know

So I just zonked out long enough to drool all over my arm and slip straight into a dream I was working in the lab, doling out chemistry specimens. So weird

And i was ZERO part of this drooling episode!??!!

Tres triste

But alors, tres bizarre also

Lol if you can convince me to fall asleep on you I'm sure I can accommodate

You have, i think

What size dress pants do you wear?

No questions, just answers

Also, need plz

null

Dress pants 34W 32L

But but but

Thx ;)

2024-12-27T16:18:06

Heyyyyya

null

Also, dinner plans?

Hey babe

What's wrong?

Nothing more than usual lol
I spent an hour cleaning the living room, got really hot and a little pissed off, decided to take a shower
Wasn't ignoring you

And now coming to terms with the fact that I feel stuck here. Not because anything is happening or will happen if I stay, but what will happen if I leave

Bedding from the couch will be about four loads of wash so I guess I'll get that going lol

Anyway

Wish I could go out with you for a bit. This is what I get for not having any friends

Hey..... same

I am in okemos for maybe another hour if you need an e cise to go somewhere

But is this y/n?

null

Maybe up to my nipples high lol

Is framed, can be unframed

Hmmm , intriguing fact lol

Let's see

What can I need in Okemos rn

The painting thing you just saw onlinr

That's going to thee trash if you dont get it?

Do you know how wide it is?

Wait you already own it?

2ish feet

I do not own it

It is in Okemos at the location i also am

And some lovely kokesha dolls

null

Ok thx that's too wide , I'll pass ty!

Omg

Work
With
Me

 ​❤️​ to a photo 

I have zero place for it :(

I'm not sure you understand my house lol

Mayyyyyybe

You just need to go to okemis to look at it

Wink

And

Nod

"nipples heigh by new year's day, they say"

I found turquoise (colored) stuff....

You're aware I'm giving you an entirely plausible lie to get out

To buy gifts? Not exactly my style when I'm trying desperately to shut down this season

Sorry I just in a pissy mood here

I know

Im saying you can come look, take pics, take home food, see me

I stirr d up my allergies fucking around with the vacuum cleaner and it's prolonging the fuckery in my head

I would do all that but the slightest evidence of doing any of those things will not end well for me

Of doing those?

Like bringing home food. It's just not something that happens here

Ohhhhh

Sorry I'm not trying to create problems

I'm sorry 🙇‍♀️

You're fine babe

And a very fine babe as well

Aww thx

On my way home now, then would you like to chat or keep to yourself?

Chat lines are open!

Am home!

Did not realize i was this weak

Oops

You ok?

Will let you know in a sec

I think prob yes

Hi

Hello :)

Status?

null

Second clean of the day

Owie!

How does it feel?

That's actually a zillion times better than all day

It feels weak

Ok, got it. Glad it's improving! Your strength will return, I expect, and even better?
Is PT a thing for recovering fistula - havers?

You've probably lost muscle mass on this arm?

Not really any loss, no

And just weak from surgery and bloodflow rerouting.

My bp is all over the place too

And nerves still have to reconnect. I still have a lot of numbness (just from last week)

Yes, yes
You've been given so many opportunities to exercise your healing ability, babe. You're really good at it!

Lolllll

So food, right?

Yes
I recommend it

Proteins for good recovery!

Mayhe you could share a gram or 2 lol

Ohhhh

You like your protein shakes warm and fresh

I mean ofc

Lol

But i do need foods decision help

Right o

I'm thinking about lentil soup, myself

Perhaps with spinach, steamed, and rice

Possibly fresh made basmati if I have it

Because there is plenty of quick rice

I've barely eaten in two days lol

It's so weird

Please say more

Disinterested mostly

Sorta willfully self-induced tho if I'm honest

Bc the kitchen was unbearable

Oh i get that

Very sorry

Do you doordash or anything?

Nah, I just went to bed and got over it

I cleaned up 75% of the kitchen prob last night though, and 80% of the living room today, so I'm good now

That's great!

Idk If I even make sense lol

Yeah well the living room really pulled my panties up my ass and I owe you an apology for how I acted.

I'm sorry I was so bi***

Did I show you my cat photo op spot?

It's really okay

Also.... we censor now?!

And no

Just in case lol
And being literal, not euphemistic

One sec

null

Fancy that cat

He's a space cadet, but he is like a big bro too, which is cool to see. He will stand up to anything, and he is a wicked fighter when he needs to be.

We don't encourage this btw

Did you decide on food?

Oh

I have been making my way through most of a 10 oz bag of nice chocolate chips

Still have a bit left since a week ago ish?

I will likely get summoned to kitchen soon so Cu in 30 ok ❤️

You good?

Whew!

Yes

Tasks were much more demanding than expected in the kitchen. Many more cleans

Also have some cool photos I will figure out how to share en masse

Hurray!

https://photos.app.goo.gl/HJDSaADrYtMnvHWN8

Does it work?

Yes!

Thanks :)

Yay!

How are you? What was food?

Not made yet lol

Only clean

She's having a snack

Have you eaten more than choccy chips today?

I have ingredients lined up, no worries

I had a bit of cereal and milk at noonish

And a couple handfuls of peanuts

I keep those around

Yes for my protein snack ok

Lol

Okay okay

Not stressing, but any ideas at all about tomorrow?

My plan is to vaguely describe homey store needs and spend a long time out

Must have wood

There was never a truer nor more noble cause

I think about it always

Maybe have you for brunch

So decadent...

Oh i see

Did you have any times in mind?

Mmmm

I set a goal of leaving here 1100.

I will need 45 only to complete wood phase 1

Yikes

Your attendance is welcome

Not required

Then in phase 2

Where?

Wood phase 2

I shall accompany you to a location within your house and we shall discuss wood

If you find wood acceptable anything is possible

So my story ends here

Any questions?

Did you see the green glass???

I did see it

Where in woodphase 1?

Thank you 1000x for that rec

😁

Oh, Louis, Domine, whatevs

Ummmm

I can you know, pick you up, and get wood at same time

Ah yes

Mais ou?

chez toi

Wp1 & 2 are same?

No no

Wp1 requires Louis Domine, you are optional on this quest

It's very ,uh, mundane

I am so lost

I will go to Lowe's Or home Depot to get wood
You may accompany me if you wish!

I will pick you up

But you can decline that part, np

Then I will bring wood to your house

For a inspection by you

My wood , the personal wood

What do you need the wood for?

Frames for string art projects

Severely behind schedule

Ah. Yes, yes.

Time for you getting here?

Twelve
Ish

Okay thanks

My pleasure

null

Mmhmmmm

Any idea how long you can be away from home?

Mmm mmmaybe 240-300 minutes

Of which your prime time is 180-240

I go cook now, perhaps 30 minutes xoxox

Okay

Sorry, phone died, then personal mini issue

All good now :)

Yay!

I have things on the stove that are fine for a few

Yay!

I was thinking of venturing out in the morning

What do you think?

You have a quest of your own?

Don't let me stop you if so

I will probably be late anyway

...

Or did you want to go to wood place with me?

Secret other option!

Would you like to join me somewhere or meet me and come back here? All possible

I'd like to meet you that would be fun!

Okay :)

Do you want to look at stuff with me or have me be almost ready or actually ready or....?

null

How about I plan to meet you at 1230 ready to return. If I can find you earlier I will let you know.

Does that work?

Yum!

Yeah that works great

Where will you be?

Most likely whatever home Depot or Lowe's is closest to where you will be

If you know you will be going towards Okemos or opposite direction will be helpful!

Okemos it is :)

Awesomeness

😊

💞

It is not the end of the world to delay, reschedule, or cancel. Or revamp what we do

All you have to do is say something

Ok

How are you?

With everything that's going on now

For you

And tonight and whatever

I'm fine

Earned brownie points if nothing else lok

Fine.... what do you really want to say

No seriously

Okay

How did the brownie points accrue?

I did a ton of work that she directly benefits from, and she's acknowledged that much

There's even more than she's realized, but all to the good you know

I appreciate you for that

And i habent even set foot in your neighborhood

Lol

You appreciate me for that... Why?

Because it shows who you are and how you think and care

And why not?

I'll take that. Ty 🥹

What particulars would you like ready for tomorrow?

The universe is your oyster

That's a lot of slippery

I also know that the appreciation you deserve and that you get are inequal and so can use a supplemental boost

Thank you babe :)

Slippery. Perhaps.

Gooey

I want to kmow very explicitly and expressly what and how you want what it is you want

OMG lol!!

In or out?

Yes

Gooey is just how I feel inside
Maybe gushing

Actually it's both

Okay, please continue

When I sidle up next to you

What do you want to happen?

A
You briefly notice and continue what you're doing?

B
Tilt your head back so I can kiss your neck

Your choice

C
Grab my hands and pull them under your blouse

D
I wasn't done lol

E
Drop panties and see what happens

Ok that's it

Is this in okemos or chez moi?

I trust you to make the choice

Home Depot, aisle 69?

Cu there sister

I'll legit do that if you want

But i think the aisles are alphanumeroc

Not the smartest location on my part either lol

But my recommendations are

Loose fitting blouse under hoodie, bra optional
Skirt
Stockings if desired

Yeah

I would kill to see your reactions

What you must think of me

My honest reaction was

How do i pair a skirt with a hoodie and stockings where i might be out shopping tomorrow and still function lol

Kick ass babe

Ok the skirt is much

I kinda knew that

Just go for

Omg that's literally what i wear out anytime

Even work

See I know you right

Black

Innit

Haha I don't know what to tell you to wear babe 🙃

Then I'll take charge of that

What else do you want?

Just a real you that I can touch for a little while

And see and hear and taste

And smell
Bc you always smell good :)

Ope I'm fading fast lol
Good night sweet baby sleep well! I can't wait to see you!

Same, babe

Think of new sexy things we might try

I am :)

I better lose me some porn virginity too

Aight!

Make it count

Every.last drip and drop

2024-12-28T07:55:34

null

Aww lol

How are you?

Still waking up :)

But fine so far

That's good

How was your night babe?

Ir was ok thanks

And yours?

Good. She's back to sleeping in her chair thank the deities

Ohhh tell me about those non chair nights!!!

The main points are there was zero touching, and the mattress doesn't support us both so it's hard on both backs

I kinda manage by literally sleeping on the edge

It's not great at all

I'm sorry

I have to let my phone charge, so I'll ttys

Heya

Info req please

Yes!

What updates might there be from your side?

Nothing really. I'm going to get a shower and head out aoon

Okay, good luck

Ty?

How's it going?

I'm about to head into the despot

What's up?

Nothing

Just wondered

And what's the plan here forth?

I pick you up

Or meet you

Which do you prefer?

And if you see a pretty corner shelvy unit you feel free to let me know lol

Are you in Okemos?

,qq1

Yes....
??

Alright I'm done here

Where are you?

Sorry a little pocket typing up there lol

Lolz

I'm like a half mile from you

Kellies

In the basement lol

She sells records!!!

2024-12-28T17:10:43

null

Okay well i thougjt it was Brrrrrr lol

Lol

Are you cold?

Maybe

How are you?

Sleepy lol

Why?

Food

How was it?

It was good!

We didn't recap today

Alright, what say you about it?

You first

I had an excellent time
Except for being hungry lol

But that's fixed!
Ty by the way!!!

😊

Say more specifics please

Good, bad, indifferent, observations, would rathers etc

Well

I should have eaten before leaving the house. That's for sure

Your nipples were super cute in that shirt

Wish I could have stayed longer!

Yes, always

More words please

Fuck i need to eat, sleep, take meds, take more meds...

It felt really good grabbing you in the kitchen

I thought you looked really cute and kinda wanted to fuck you right there

I was def into it too

Guess i shoulda cleaned the couch off lol

Hehe

You can fuck me anywhere you want

Seriously

I believe you
I have a hangup that i'd love to get past
My RL brain over thinks the situation - OMG the kitchen? Where will she sit? Is there actually room? -
Instead of just doing it

This is all me btw

And it's always been there, like always

I understand that

Could i have gone for it?

Right

"is this ok?"

I can be bold!

Just you wait, mister

Hey i finally ate :)

More than saliva mints lol

Yay!

More words plz

Like "you're delicious" or like "so about Oriental themes"

Well, i just now stopped shaking

Do you want to finish up about anything more that was positive.

Sure
I had a really good time with you today

Me too

What was different?

I also have literal knowledge questions in this multi topical discussion

I'm not sure anything was different?
You were more intense than I usually find you, during sex that is. Not a bad thing

Is there a way for you to describe that more?

Your body was more intense, muscles working

Oh really?

Yep

Jsyk, everything you say in hindsight and observation and recapping really REALLY help me

Which muscles?

Abdominal, vaginal

You were merely tense in your limbs

Oh

That's good

But yeah, you spent quite a while doing intense "contractions" on me

Amazing

How are you feeling

In which sense? I have a lot of feelings

Executive summary?

These are not in an order and aren't "bad" and definitely not from you

Embarrassed or ashamed

Weird

Broken and also an impenetrable fortress

Hopeful or maybe more like wistful

Confused like usual

Continuously betrayed

That's how i feel about myself, because I've been in my head this whole day

I also feel like aome kind of evening out for me might be a real possibility

Very sad at a lot of points

Incredibly thankful for you

Still just out of reach of good enough, like always

Xoxox for you double

I am finally laying down and the twitching spasms are getting worse, in case i am suddenly quiet

I feel really awful that you saw me like i was today

Physically it was the most intensely i have ever positively felt . And a lot of parts were weird to me

Glad to hear there was a positive! I love you just like you are babe, no question.

Get some rest babe!

It was realllllllly positive. The intro & retrospectionsit all induced were different that i ever thought

Yay!!!

2024-12-29T02:39:39

Hey babe

2024-12-29T07:05:52

null

O hai!

Oh you too

How are you doing?

Im actually pretty good, thanks. Still very itchy but better than last night when i was praying to the gods of the benadryl. And i have a massive neuropathy flare that's making ne want to hatchet off a toe but I'm dealing ok with that

How are you?

null

Lol I always liked Denmark for some reason!

Yeah! I really want to go

But how are you?

Pretty good

My throat is really sore but I had something stuck at my ear canal last night. Thought I flushed it out but now I'm not sure I got it all.

Oh no!

I have an ear irrigation kit if you need it. Has not been used

Ty! I'm going to try warm coffee first :)

Oh actually thay gives me a second idea for your ear

You take a glass cup that fits around your ear, pour boiling waiter into the glas and count to 5, pour out the water, place the empty hit glass to your ear for warmth and a little vaccumy action

Oh interesting!

I actually can't tell if this is in my sinuses? Everything is all connected back there

The last of Eustacia

*land

Indeed lol

Open anything yet?

No darn it. I left box in my car bc I wasn't sure where RLH was , then forgot to get at a good time.

Bah!

Indeed

null

Kitters!

Yep!

Those caffenaited beans kick in yet?

A bit yeah

😊

Plans today?

Very unsure

Wish I could escape today but I don't think I will be able to

Yeah me too

I get it though

Cant you tell her a super gross and inept - MULTI DISABLED - girl from work needs help lifting around shelves, organizing books, and carrying laundry up and down stairs?

Right! Sometimes, she even wears undergarments

Other times she needs help reaching the hangers

Like for this

null

I've been trying to figure this one out. What am I looking at?

It's lingerie. Side view lol

Yummm

Omg there's a whole other smaller box santa dropped off here for you

Damn forgetful reindeer

Hard to get good reindeer these days

Too much laugjing and calling names, not enough playing any reindeer games

Right!

Where would you go locally for a corner shelf unit? Used or new. Preferably pretty lol

And holy fuck i am so tired

You broke me

In a good way i think but still

Remind me to tell you more on that

null

Oh you know, the usual suspects... Dicker& Deal, and the place next next door

I didnt know if there might be diacount stores (a la.Big Lots) of which i am aware

Or mdf board stores

I mean furniture lol

Hmm

There is the plane

Oops

There is the place next to HD on Waverly

https://maps.app.goo.gl/W1pL4mQHswvWGPwEA

Oh yes, I've been there! I forget because, well, Waverly

They have amazing book prices

I mean, maybe lol

Lol

Can you start exploring my box please?

Errr

IKEA probably has "Träng" of some such

How awkward!

Your box, you say

I lovvvvvvve ikea

Well, i do want to talk more aboit my puffy pink box but for now, the bezosmart one

I'll have to wait a bit... RLH still sleeping at the front door

So the pufft punk one then

Blah

Chonkythumbs

I think about her a lot

You kind of.... LOOKED at her yesterday

Right? I can always be mistaken

I did, for several minutes
Need to know what's going on down there
She's so interesting!

Can you say more please?

This was very entirely new

She's very fleshy, which is kinda new to me. I find her very sexy!

Also, I like to understand how she's put together. It helps me know where to go with my fingers or tongue, where the fun bits to suck on are, etc.

I really, really appreciate you venturing in like that. It would be nice to have more... perhaps with hands-in lab practicals. For science and education, ofc

I'd love to! This is how I discovered you have a large clit. I've never seen one this size irl. Really sexy!

I meed you to tell me things like that! And tell me what you're touching and why i like it, etc

What makes me puffy?

Like why

Mechanism of anatomical puff

Fleshy and protruding outer labia are the most obvious. But also you have prominent inner labia that are always at least partially visible - an 'outie'.

Thanks

But whyyyyy?

I'm not chunky enough to store extra fat there am i?

I think there's no correlation. Lots of big girls have an innie, very flat lips, tiny clit

So you just got put together this way

And I love it! I can really get my face wet :P

Oh, yeah, that

Wtf happened with all of that!?

All of what?

There was soooooooo much wet

I think you squirted

A couple times

I remember one moment very clearly when it was suddenly even warmer and wetter. This is when I was still in you

I know i did

But it flooded out from inside too

I remember that

It was a bizarre feeling

I do kmow what helped it be so good yesterday

What was that?

All the kissing. I loved starting in the kitchen. I apparently need to be treated like an 11 year old at a boy girl party, lots of kisses and making out nonstop before the cake

Yay! That was fun!
I shoulda groped more

Gone down on you in the kitchen

I thought you were going to try the stairs into the bedroom

And i needed the kisses and the necksies and the wantedness

That's what helped most

Noted well :)

I liked your hands being firm on me

I would love a little more, too

Maybe some gair pulling (you put your fingers in and grip up from the root/scalp), pull me closer, push me against things

Talk to me nicely and tell me good things while you do it

That would be so, so hot

:)

More words please

Sorry I napped out again, and started dreaming again.

This time it was about failing a French exam. Then I was trying to gather my things and they were all over the place and I had to go up and down stairs to find everything and it was all so embarrassing because the prof kinda made it known to the entire class that I totally failed the exam. I could answer the first question

*couldn't

Call me out more!!! Jesus

Lol

You did not

For some reason I had a box of papers in the classroom. It got moved after I left the room. Prof was putting more handouts on it and said we had to read all this by next class (tomorrow morning).

I was like FML there is no way in hell I can that

I don't usually dream of failure and embarrassment

But this dream also featured a regular theme - labyrinth hallways, stairs, doors, rooms, high places

The lab dream the other day was the same way

And stairs and french and untidyness.....

It's like the koat literal dream translation interpretation ever, my love

Say more?

I think i am your labyrinth - hard to figure out and always more twists and secret hallways and new things, both good and jot so good

My house is symbolic because it's never tidy. Frankly, our dynamic is also "messy" but it's because it is what it is - not anything you can quickly write out and define (like the papers to read and the exam being a mystery)

French that someone speaks better than you... mmhmm

High places are risky

And i dont think i need to say why "failure" or embarassment are themes but i can if you need more straightforward words

It kinda makes sense

I have many dreams about hospital environments. Not about people in them, but about the unusually large and complicated spaces they are. And seemingly difficult to navigate.

This was nominally an old college classroom building, but pretty much the same feeling and cast in a similar way

May i observe my love of college degrees

Hehe right?

OMG I didn't actually talk to you about the pickle did I!

That was in a separate scene

Like the ones we had from JJ yesterday?

Right

The same

Well?

I think actually you were in the French dream at first. I brought up the JJ pickles from the day before and said something like

I thought they were really substandard. It's like they used the minimum amount of instant pickle they possibly could and made the most boring pickles on earth

Haha it's so weird how these things happen

Interesting

I'm gonna chuck mine in some brine with feta, olives, and jalapenos fr

It'll be much better in a few days!

Or maybe I just equate you and pickles...

No it's not that

I do love them

If you didn't see my face or hear me, could you find where i like activity the most?

Is this a hypothetical?

Or did I do it at some point? My memory might be filling in details that were not actually there

But you do react sometimes in ways I can feel. Not always

It is a curiosity i have. Can you tell with any part of you

Can you tell me how?

Like arching your back or pelvis to meet me, sometimes muscles contracting in your abdomen or vagina

And those nipples
My god they are soooo cute when they get hard

They're always hard lol

They have an "extra hard" setting

So there's not a secret button you find anteriorally with your fingers?

Mostly genuine question, jist exagerrated

I wouldn't say anteriorly

There is a g spot inside, which seems to love coordinate pressure from the outside though

Yes but i dont know how YOU know where it is

Your body speaks to me in the language of love 💝

null

I have an awkward anatomical question

Ok :)

You know how qhen you make me climax, my muscles kind of clamp down?

Kijda hard

I sure do!

It's intense!

I always feel like if i really realllly let myself go into it that my body - at least the kitty canal - will turn inside out and leave my body

Please respond how i get over that idea, truth of it, etc

Is that how other girls get off? The clamping?

It's new to me tbh. Ofc you won't turn inside out, but I wonder if women have similar feelings/thoughts in natural childbirth?

That said it feels to me like just your vaginal muscles, not your uterus, but I'm not 100% sure.

I'd be interested to go through the exercise with you... Let yourself fall into it and see where things go. Maybe just the resistance training is good for you? Idk

Yes! Please

If you're okay guiding me through and staying no matter what happens - like, literally anything could - then i want that

It's def not my uterus. Ive never been pregnant or had any kids. They had to force that cervixal door open to a few mm just to slam in my IUDs and i had anaesthesia to allow those to happen

Ofc I will be with you all the way! Unless you squeeze me out :) then I will be next to you lol

I love the squeeze
You feel so glorious

I love and hate it

Because i will squeeze you out if i go into it

Has happened

I make a conscious choice to not let you go out

If I'm hard enough I might be able to stay in. It kinda worked yesterday

Yes!

How did your instincts not have you go straight down my throat?

You mean cum?

Not really (i didnt think you did? Idk)

Your dick

You have an unusual amount of restraint

Ohh

Partly because I'd like to think I have some manners... I don't want anybody to get hurt

And partly because I can feel so much, even just barely in you

Do you still say "can i fuck you" because it's something you remember me liking?

Yes, and no
It's also an opportunity for you to say what else you might want
And it's also a way for me to get out of my head a little and tell you what I'm thinking

Thank you for that

It did not occur to me that it was more than a binary answer

Like... i didnt know about maybe asking for something else

Why do you need to get out of your head?

For me it's about sharing I guess. Fun fact I didn't even say words like pussy during sex until 10 years ago

But I want you to know how much I love making love to you

Fun fact - i cant say most of those words. Still

Fun fact: youve seen sad from me now. Genuine sadness. I didn't know i had that feeling until then

You are absolutely safe with those feelings around me babe. I hope you will freely share them

Thank you

Dont melt, sweetness

There were 2 "trigger potential" moments yesterday and i dont know if you know what they were or if i should tell you

I'm okay either way

I don't know what they were
Well maybe one? You warned me I might get sad

Yeah. Do you remwmber what that one was for?

You were telling me about the apprehension, not knowing if you were bleeding or what, even though I had not hurt you, because hurt was all you had known

And here's the thing

I already know this without you telling me in so many words , because you already told me in different ways. I've been "sad" about this for a few months, but it's part of knowing you and loving you.

And I want to help you move part the hurt if there's any way that I can. I can't undo what was done, but I can be a friend and safe partner and support you

That you want me makes me happy ofc. That you want me in spite of the past is something I can only understand if I believe you want to break out of that endlessly repeating cycle of yuck

And I am all in for that babe, for you

Yes. And thank you endlessly. I hope you feel at least some of the thanks i try and give you

And yes. Because it has happened before, i really thought all of the wetness was just blood and i was really afraid and embarrassed from it. I cannot tell you how much i appreciate that all-in mentality but because i dont know the damage that was caused or repaired once upon a time, i feel like I'm just another wrong choice away from dying in a compromising situation

If i was exanguinating at all, i didnt want you to feel like you might have had done something "wrong"

I Certainly hope I am never the cause of that! This is a good time to repeat, you can say no any time you need to. I'm here to love you not to harm you!

What other questions are lingering for you? Im glad you finally stopped shaking! That took a while

Hey! Here's something we should try

We need to try hydrating you and getting some potassium in you after sex

To see if it helps the shakes

I saw avocado and banana recommended

You wouldn't have been the cause of any harm, and i was having a great time i just thought of how gross and embarrassing it would be and i didnt want you to feel bad and it was also a thought of traumatic instamces constantly haunting me and resurfacing no matter what

I hadn't really eaten or slept since more than 24 hours prior either

Well

And there was some trauma response in the shaking

And good hormones and brain chems too

For sure

Speaking in very general terms
You have a lot of symptoms of dehydration ;)

I'm no good example either

I do not drink water

But which symptoms do you know that i have?

And if you can help me be less dehydrated i am 100% for it

I am also tremoring a lot right now and hate it. Just an fyi

And spouse + SIL just got here. Sorry if i get quiet

Okdokee

Have a banana! I won't it against you

I couldn't even say the word lol

Hydration, not potassiuK

Agreed, but partly neurotransmitter related as well

Have a banana And a glass of juice

:P

That's too much sugar at once for me

Lol

This is Andy Mom again apparently lol

But it really is

Then no juice, water

You set that right up for me babe

Mama cat by any chance?

They lick their babes

Psshhht

I hate water

As I will when I return

I'll even give you my water

Ffs

No I won't pee on you

Lol

2024-12-29T17:52:12

Eyyy

https://www.tasteofhome.com/article/dolly-parton-stampede-soup/?link_source=ta_first_comment&taid=676bfd2748a6b50001da87ef&utm_campaign=trueanthem&utm_medium=organicsocial&utm_source=facebook&fbclid=IwY2xjawHesaBleHRuA2FlbQIxMQABHQ8JlOur5-XZCJPCYNl0gJcMcFbieFFsDDy_Qxlbv_lQEF7A6jGKHhlfug_aem_2cOwIOOPkWHqYMDHyVf_Ag

Change the broth type, looks tasty

Mas Bébé!

Mas de..... que?

Haha!

Etymology of "Mas Bace"
mas-bayce'
+mas, from "Mommy's", "Mama's"
+bace', from "Baby['s Face]"

It's a family lexicon thing. There are a few I do consider to be worthy of preservation

Aww

So "mas" has double meaning

For me anyway.

I've extended it to the cats, e.g., "Mas Teeks" (Rama)

I made a whole org chart of pet names once

Sadly the best parts of it got purged somehow

Well I'm quite chatty lol

I love it!

Been gardening?

A bit, yeah. A bit

And doing laundry
Not sure why I needed to point that out

But I like life at the moment

Oh did I tell you about the multitasking issue?

Not an issue really, more like an observation and theory

Not really

Ive done 9 loads today myself lol

WOW

That is higher than my record I think

And I've done some laundry sis

Anyway take a break!

Your arms need it

The one flat out stopped working

Shaky, weak, numb, owwws

Multitask theory?

What do you remember about smoking weed?

Tell me everything about the actual experience, please. Sexual stuff appreciated but by no means required

I remember you having the backpack

We went out on the deck, you did something with the weed device, you inhaled, we kissed, i breathed in what smoke you had really quickly after you took it, i eventually breathed out. A tiny burn in the top of my throat/back of my mouth, then waiting. I was excited about it

Yes, and then what happened?

Ysyk, I'm not looking for a sextape :) I just want to know where your head was throughout as much of the experience as you can remember

You might need to help me with this one

I dont remember a ton

Happy swirly calm talkative malleable agreeable eager

Those are what i remember

Anything else?

I dont know how much it counts as a memory but i feel like i had a sense of less distraction and less in my head than usual

Can you help prompt more? For real

Yes
One moment svp :)

All good. I didn't want to lead you

Initially, I just thought we would both have fun.

I think you agree, we did.

But more recently, I've pondered why I like weed

And the theme that is interesting is the one that helps me focus.

It's almost counterintuitive

But then I thought of all the things going on in one's mind...

My ears are happy
My thumb hurts
Surroundings are acceptable
Eyesore over there
Allergies

Whatever

Yes!

This girl ❤️
This guy ❤️

And it's bloody chaotic right

The noise in my head during sex is soooooo much more for me

Tell me more 💖

Plzzzzzz

Is he okay
Am i okay
I want this
No, he won't want to do that
Am i wet enough
Wtf where did all that wet come from
Dont panic
Self: You should be doing more
Go down on him
What am i doing wrong
I love him in control
Fuck, i just love him
I wonder what different positions might feel like
Did he notice that
What if......
Dont panic andkeep breathing
Enjoy it, you're safe
I hope im not being too weird
Should i have groomed better
How far can i push this
Fuck that's literal sweat in my actual eye like a damn visine drop
I want to have intense, no holds barred sex and that'll never happen
Stay calm, be active, dont be gross, ask about _____ later....

Exactly

This right here

Well recounted btw

You have input overload

Your poor head, baby!

That's in less than a minute, probably way less. And that's just during sex, sex filled thoughts. Plus actively blocking out what other times were like, iykyk

Yeah
This is the vibe I get from you

Well straight to my point then:

I think you would benefit from weed
Mentally/emotionally, the idea is you can "prioritize" some of those threads.

Some of those inputs

I absolutely agree

You can kinda ignore

If you let it

You kinda have to accept it

But I think you are no stranger

Said another way, you can really amplify other threads

There's an experience i want. Need. Please. We've been very close

I am no stranger to what?

I think you are no stranger to altered states of mind.

Tell me more please!

I kind of am, actually. A stranger to altered mind states. Can i ask why you say that?

Typing now

Super extremely slow and intentional lovemaking. Like an experienced caring older partner taking his younger girl's virginity and treasuring it. Intensely emotional and connected and cinemaesque. Does that imagery make sense?

Oh babe that's deeply delicious

null

null

Awwww hurray!

I think they're all different patterns?

There are 5 different ones!!! 💖💖💖

My feet love you so much rn

null

Sweet baby!

And I looked at everything and TYSM!

Many awesome!

I will find shelf for books

😊

You're such a sweetheart

null

This is where I puddle lok

null

Hehehehe

I have "the good stuff" here lol

Socks aside, any faves?

You so sweet!

I love the science books
Spot on!

Fishy is hanging with the dragons

I gotta figure out how to smuggle the Fleetwood Mac shirt

Did you price this stuff?

SN is a witch, with conviction

null

Haha lol!!!

What do you mean by price it?

Btw
Mas Teeks is a good kitty

Well obvs!

null

He stops short of the keyboard

null

null

null

null

null

null

Good bois here too

null

null

null

Cat war!!!!!

null

Wtf lol

Mine are contentious objectors

Lololololll

Anyway

"Price" stuff?

Whoa
Scrolling

 ​😂​ to a photo 

I❤️ your cats

So good

They all heart ❤️ you too

Price
Is
Right

Tell me

You don't know this

Anyway

Just wondered about the valuation of the Fleetwood Mac t

But idk sasquatch

Oh i knowwwssss the price is right

Spent years of daytime school hours in a hospital what else you think there was to do??

And she's a witch lol

Disclosure

I dont know how much i spent on things or how much any of it goes for

Nor did i care

They made me think of you and i thought they might make you happy, so that was that

This is a reference to Throwing Muses / Kristin Hersh

Is she THAT bandmate?

No no
I
Well maybe?
Idk

She was a really depressed girl

Who singer songwritered a fair number of good songs

And her sisters

Sister

Also played in Talking Heads. As well as the sis band

Kristin created several memorable themes.
However, they are really dark

But live with me, bc I can remember them

Kind of a truism

Dang

Lol

I kinda went off there

I'm fully intrigued now

You don't have to lol

Back to talking presentses

Right! So fun!

Tysm

Ofc!

But you have to tell me whyyyyy i gave you each one now

And which i think is perhaps the bestest

Do you have a list?
Or am I misunderstanding

I do not have a list

You have to rummage lol

But i kmow which one i was proudest of, kinda

Besides the qoodfish

*woodfish

null

I tried to stand up a bunch on the table but they're all drunk and just fall down

You have a very keen eye
I never thought about how literal that could be

You are so sweet
I love you sweetheart

Aww thank you!

The little wooden box contents

Box can be crafted or whatever you want

Toss it if you hate it

Wait

It's possible the box is still here - havent checked yet

Size is box?

Maybe cubic 4"?

Unfinished wood

null

Nope nope

But iz cute

Oh wait

Let me check upstairs

null

Nope

Ok

Wooden

Vooden

Ok

I don't think it's here

Bah!

Well Ewe

Anyone in your fam ever part of Junior League? Not sportsball related lol

No, not even close

Dad played softball with his MSU teacher buds. Liz and I, nada. Except marching band

Dad did Ducks Unlimited

Lol

NOT sportsball

I don't hold it against him at all

Igh! Smol box is stowaway here

Junior league is not sportsvall related

Sorry for your luck babe

Are the financially aware kids

No YOURE smad about it lol

Huh?

Come at me bro

I am

ABC

Right

Say it with me

Airway

...

Sorry, found more laundry

null

Iz kidden, not laundry

Isn't is so!!??

Catses
Not laundry

Yahhhh

I said so!

The parts in my arm where they would have tied off the fistula ends are kind of hard swollen feeling, like they have half an egg under my skin for each

Do you know why that would be?

I was asking about that yesterday

At one end

It is now both ends

Youuuuuui were once a medical professional

Not me

Were you given post-op instructions?

Can I see it?

null

null

Ah. So lower incision?

They match now

So yes

Does not appear to be a hematoma
Agree?

Yes

Agree

null

null

null

And i have a pic of the inside of my arm!

But that's the Notes part

Hmmmm

Now i think maybe hematoma forming

Starter pic for referencw tomorroq

null

Good, need records

Thank you Dr Barrett

I hope all is ok!!

Yep!

I hope so too

But hematomas are a litetal everyday occurrence

Did you wanna see inside my arm?

Yes, please!

null

And for that and more, i was allotted seven 5mg oxytocin

Codone lol

null

My poor baby!

Yeah... I'm worried but also not?

Worried i will somehow be in trouble because i broke the rules or something

But it wasn't so

Let's keep eyes

The latter part oft worry is engrained ptsd from a lot of teenage years and learned behavior and thought patterns

Not joking

New question

Yes baby

How is your mood?

Fine

Is there a way to acutely lower a bp without an rx?

How is your mood,?

Extremely happy. My feet are forever in your debt

Lower bp

I mean apart from lay still and meditate, idk

If you want I will massage your naked body at such time

Do you practice relaxation ?

No

I kind of forgot to keep doing it a few years ago and never restarted

But i keep hearing about this massaging that's so elusive!

Ikr?

I apologize for the delay

Pshhhhht

I demand it!

Well well well!

You shall have it

Wow I can't wait to get my hands on your perfectly round ass

For therapy

That's so creepy now

Dammit

Lolllll

Well I'm still a laundry slut
I've stopped counting the loads

I'm sure you could enjoy from a certain perspective

Ohhhhh yes. Still working out the loads here too

I said what i said

You yam what you is

I will be shutting down soon

Saaaaame

Plans tomorrow?

null

Not per se

Yes!

But I will be in the touch

I love your touch in me

I love to touch you babe
And feel your touch
Very much touch! Lol

🥰

null

 ​❤️​ to a GIF 

2024-12-30T09:28:40

Ba-aaaaaaabe!

Heyyy!

How you doin?

Not bad :)

Good!

Whatcha doin all day?

I dunno! I'm not working!

Hey same!

But i know im headed downtown in just a few

Well, reotown

I always welcome your company :)

Cool, cool

Je suis iciiiiiiii

Vous voulez quelques chosed?

*choses

Ou peut etre du cafe chez hibou bleu?

Not at the moment ty!

Dommage

What are you doing today?

Oldies text book acience learnin?

Yep!

Lmk how it goes!

How exciting!

null

null

What's that familial indianian lake of yours?

2024-12-30T14:16:42

Baaaaaaaaaaabe

Hiii
Sorry!
I needed a nap

Lake Maxinkuckee!

A verrrrry long one!

Yeah longer than I intended!

You feeling better?

Yes!

2024-12-30T17:56:19

Hey

Hello!

How is your expedition going?

I need support please. That's all i want to say rn

Uh oh
What kinda support?

Whatever you've got

Telepathic i guess

All yours

Thx

Will talk more later

Pause for now plz

Talk to me please? Should be fine - remember the fz rule though

I also need to idk what will help accomplish that. Seeking advice

Accomplish what?

Getting out of my head

Oh you're welcome to mine lol

Okay I'll take it

What's going on eh?

I dont know how to sum it up

Nothing good

I'm sorry
The usual at home?

Yes but preceding the cutrent state was worse than typical i am autopiloted and just.... no words

Oof sorry about that

I will tey and tell you eventually

I havent said anything for a few hours

And i dont yell. Ever.

I am noticing a lot of reactions have in this sort of instance. I dont like what i observe

What do you observe?

I cant speak. And especially louder than murmuring. I didnt realize how long it had been since i swallowed anything and when i had some food at home eventually it's only been applesauce and yogurt. I dont really see anything, just view it (if that makes any sense). I dont know what will help so ive been cleaning pretty nonstop. Probably more

Are you upset about something? Are you in pain?

Upset isnt accurate, i am unwell about it. And yes in pain. And idk.

He was furious at me and it's really... i dont know. I'm very thrown

Oh dear

Right. And did it all in front of his sister

And i just dont know what to do. I am very very tired right now

I understand

I'm sorry babe

Do you know why he was so angry? Just making sure you have accurate info

And now i feel the pain really settling in. This is so not good.

I know nothing about what happened today

Okay, kind of what i thought but sometimes you have spidey senses

His sister is here yesterday thru wednesday. This was negotiated last week with the condition that my life not be infringed upon by her being here again (you know this saga but this "weekend" is still too much, again, like it always is). So i begrudingly agree with a condition that if i want to go somewhere to shop.or have ciffee or whatever, he'll take me or pick me up or both and doesn't get to harp on what I'm doing or where i go or what i get. Furniture or super large purchases was an exception

So he took me. I reluctantly agreed to try and stick to not tons of stuff or tons of cost. Spent the day doung what i love, obv.

He came to pick me up later and i was kind of waddling out since there arent carts and i could use 1 arm but i had some bigger weekender-style duffle ish bags over me but also you have to press the door lock things and push the door to get out....

Anyway he screamed that he's had it and he's done and what dont i understand. Chastised more in the car ride home and talked to like I'm literally a toddler. Already felt uneasy with all that and he would not let me speak (and i havent since that moment, with one exception) and more berating and all sorts of that

We get home and he's slamming the car doors and being harsh with his sister and sadie (both along for the ride to come get me) and i was rubbing my arm and waiting for them to go in from garage to house

He gets his sister pretty close to inside the house and then opens all the car doors, grabs my stuff, and tugs it all out in sweeps so it's all on the garage floor

And idk yet what's broken and what isnt

And more yelling and downgrading and i tried to turn the noise off as quickly as it started

What did you do?

Eventually i just went in the house

So he threw your stuff out of the car on the floor

Violently, yes. And the screaming and yelling (not exaggerating bc i would otherwise call it scolding) and so many jabs

There's a feeling i have now - physocally - and i am trying to forget it but i can't

Well that sucks
I'm sorry babe

Thank you

He's kinda off his chain innit

null

null

null

null

null

null

null

You can read the time stamps

And then he acts like he didn't know what was coming?

What else is up his bum?

I am the reason the house is a dump

I think stuff will make me happy

Nothing will ever make me happy

I do this all the time every time

I am exactly like my mother

So much else

Meh

If you're so miserable, why is he complaining about it? He's projecting.

Do you think that could be the case?

I don't know

I know he hates that i have my stuff all over the place but he's not helping me move it anywhere either

Nor did he purchase a single gift for anyone the last 14ish years basically

I got 3.6 from hi m this year

And that dowsnt bother me because of lack of material goods, i could not care less about if i get anything or not

But it's my amazon acct so i know the thought that went into it and when it was and all that

Fx

Fz

Ok

Hi

Are you ok?

Nothing new

Literally nothing happened, not even words, he was just "around" for a sec

But aside from that, yes and also not really

Huh

Insane spouse syndrome

But i know he feels this way and i still do what i want

I probably should have just stayed here and cleaned but i only get so many days off ykniw

Pssht

What's Mr complainey's actual grievance? He was all over the map.

I thrift too much and he hates stuff

That's just the excuse. What does he really want

I have no idea snd i have an idea that isnt in this reality

He wants to travel (i am not the problem there either). He equates me buting stuff to not habing money to travel when money isnt the issue it's work and his fam and other stuff

More than that, i think he's mad we dont travel because travelling was the life i wanted. This goes s thousand paths before the final outcome us he's mad that we dont have a kid or several

Right

Did he understand your position on children when you married?

This has been said to me much more than once

He knew on our first date

Everyone who has evwr kmown me has known that

And mommie wants it

Ahe asked me the first time i met her if i could still have kids but i give less than a negative amount of fucks what she wants, it's legitimately hom

*him

Yes. You've told me the same.

As if that were a reason to harbor hatred, she still expressed her wish for a grandchild

In the letter

Is he as crazy as her ?

Oh lovely

Perhaps i should read it

I'm honestly wondering

Oh fuck I forgot you didn't read it

Well you should, really.

He says really intentionally hurtful things that fuck with my head

And does plenty too

I don't understand the hatred

I dont get it either

And the blimding rage

That too

That's why I say this is projection

But he doesnt like his mother

At all

He frequently mentions that theor house growing up was basically hoarded

I get that (mine too), nut theirs was & is the not clean and not tidy kind

His mother does not do a thing

Nothing

I have seen them save up an entire month of dishes and of laundry until he was up for a day and be had to do it

Last time his sister was here, this was on the counter (finding the pic, one sec)

null

That is his sister's hair that was too twirled and knotted and icky that strands had to be cut out for her to shower

She also engages in trichotillomaniq even though she isnt mentally more than maybe 18 - 24 months old

Unreal

I did just look up TTM
Very sad

2024-12-31T00:11:54

Hi

Heyyy

How are you?

I'm fine sweets
How are you

I am sad. Tired. A little paranoid maybe. Very oww. Overall maybe okay. Sad.

Would you like to hear the worst irony?

Yes

The damage from him throwing the stuff (grab bag while it's on the seat, fling it to land on the floor, no idea what was in them as he was doing this completely carefree), the broken glass was only on the item I'd intended for you

Aww

But c'mon
This is like flipping the table

You mean the action?

The action and the mentality

Yes

He's also thrown a standing rolled area rug over and down stairs

What's your next move, or plan of action

I have a few things

He's also walk3d past me a handful of times since I've been in the living room since we all got home. No one has said a word to me

I think he went upstairs? Whicj is more slapping me in the face because that's where i sleep and his sister is in the basement (his usual area) and he knows i wont go there to sleep in my clean room with him

These are not the worst things he's done. The carpet and the random you-designated thing

I dont really have options. But maybe i can make it a little more tolerable

Now the "deep emotional stab" memories are playing and they suck

What's up with sleeping in your space? He doesn't usually do that, does he?

I mean, this doesn't seem like the kind of scenario where sleeping in the same bed might be ok #even if# you usually slept in the same bed

So is this pure male aggression?

Yes and ive experienced worse and i think i know what he's thinking about why he deserves it

There was more than once when he was pissed that i had to go to the ER. One of those times i was so unwell that i dont know what happened between the main stairs landing and the front door other than i passed out and scraped all the skin off my knee. Literally scalped my patella

He was maddddd mad so i got in the car eventually and he drove me to u of m without a word. Dropped at at the ER doors. My mom brought me home a few days later when i was discharged. I dont remember if he called while i was in there

I'm sorry

null

He just sent that?

Yeah

Time stamps

Please help me understand this, because you shouldn't be there

Come to bed?????

I have a lot of words

Does he think he's funny?

Or is he actually in this vibe

I am curious them. And i cant bring myself to tell you other parts of the labyrinth

Babe

He's trying to remind me I'm stupid and wrong

Adults do not behave this way

He just threw the Nintendo across the room and pronounced himself kind of the bed

I do not experientially know this so it's hard to understand

I used to sleep on the living room couch for a lot of years because i hated my bedroom or the bed was too piled up or whatever. I heard my father invite my mother to bed "just offering" one night. She said no or no thanks and he reminded her that she was just a botch anyway. She.said "what?" And he sneered the qord back at her through what he probably thought was his winningest smile.

Ironically about this same time of night

Sorry

I am sorry beyond words

This guy is a bully

You deserve
So
Much
Better

null

Fafo bitch

Olive Branch

Spit

What a fucking bully

I wont fight back. He knows that. It also drives him crazy that i dont.

Ofc

He wants a fight!

That's what bullies do!!!!!!!

Tell me I'm wrong

I dont know

That is the hardest thing I've ever had to hear from you

Im sorry

I dont know what to do

67 is cold right?

I feel really paranoid

I feel literally crazy

Babe I'm so sorry

What? Why?

Because I'm basically watching the worst episode where my favorite protagonist gets completely gaslighted and I can't do anything to stop it

I'm sorry

I was going to say something else but now i feel bad

Tell me I'm being melodramatic

Please

Tell me I'm making this up

Earlier today and all week it was how much he loves me and his hands and trying to kiss me and it's been weeka of crude frat boy suggestions or ideas or whatever that he says

I am dumbfounded

His hands are so much unlike you

Im so sorry

Tell me why I shouldn't get you a place to stay for a week to get his fucking attention

He

Is

A

Bully

Because i think he would get rid of all of my things by then. Maybe hurt or neglect the animals. Tell my mother and she would use her own persuasion against me. Because work. Because even though my name is also on this house and property he would change the locks pretty quick

This is pretty bad right

It isnt yet but it also is

He's manipulating you

I know that but i dont get that

To make you submit to his fucking ego

That's what my therapist said pretty early on

Based on something else

His mommy hates me ducking who

Fine

We've all been there

He needs to get over it and stop abusing people

Luke his wife

My mother knows some things in the "neg/con" category

Do you know what she said besides what can or should do on my end to help improve everything?

I know my guess

Ive told her more than one thing and more than one time

About some of the physical things "well at least it wasnt (insert shit my father did to her and maybe my brother and me like throwing her into the kitchen cabinets, as if i wasnt there in the first place)"

Has also said "wow it sounds like he was really upset"

I don't have kind word for her

For non physical

"Well it's only comsidered abusive by today's standards. When your grandparents got married or even when your father and i (trails off into murmur)"

Right

So

I think we both know how absurd that is

Agreed

?

I KNOW but i dont understand

Logic vs comprehension

Ok

This should all make me feel emotional. Any emotion. It does nothing

It makes you retreat, and rightly so

I feel ronotic or like a zombie, on autopilot, not real

You've been burned out on these pathways for years babe

"I gave up kids for you" "i wasted all of my 20s and 30s on you when i should have been having fun and meeting people and going out to sow my wild oats"

Not today. Other times. Verbatim.

Again, not a surprise

Get over it

From MIL once "you know, even if the baby was /hushed/ *black* we would still love it"

No words

Literally not something anyone adopting would even entertain as a potential spark of a grandparent's thought

Delusional

Move on

"We just want to see (SIL) walk down the aisle, and our only chance is at L's wedding"

Hun

I'm sorry

I also know he alienated any friends i had and i essentially never got to see or really talk to my cousin again after one visit she made here a couple of years before she died because of their rift. Which he obv made a point

So

I have my own phone plan & carrier

He has my mothet on his plan

I want to tell you a story. I have no idea how graphic it is because i dont go back into it to see what i remember. It is not a good story. I dont think you'll be okay

I may have to ditch the phone fyi

So i dont know when i can or will

Ok

*if

How many more reasons do you need?

You've told me 100 if you've told me 10

I am the catalyst for so many issues though

Nope

Lie

You lie

Yes. Literal yes, but you don't know that story

Whatever

That story!

???

The first catalyst to my ultimate downfall

The one that makes all of this make sense??

Kind of

I doubt

Oh maybe you do know? I feel like i told you on a sunny day while we were on a dirt road quth too many people at pull offs

How long do you have to pay this debt?

I have no idea

Hmm

I am a whore and cant forget how awful i am

Emm hmm

And this is fine?

He told my mother

He told a few people at work

I dont get out of this alive

O rly

I have no memories, no house, no pets, no family, no job unless i keep this up

And he's some kind of arbiter of sense all of a sudden because why???

See above

Friends are already out of the equation

I'm calling BS

Please expound

What is this threat
Be specific pley

Please

And on what grounds does he toss it?

I have no idea. I feel like that day could be any and every day

Because you told me you have the deed and the title

Dual

He's a fucking bully

I also have him committing me constantly over my head

What does that even mean?

Him Calling 911 and having them pit me on a psych hold

No words

Have you ever tried to engage a partner in sexual activities when they were very obviously asleep?

I need your.logic please

Because i know your answer

What can I possibly say

I know what you mean and I kinda know why you're asking

But why

I dont really know

Part of me wants confirmation that it's fucked up. Part wants to justify it. Part wants it to just be "a guy thing" of which i am unaware

No it's not a fucking guy thing

It's a bully thing

Why do you say that?

I ask because i might need to explain more

Are you kidding???

No i am not

Are you about to tell me the time

When he came to you

Maybe you juat love them so much and they look irresistible and you want to connect with them and you're in the middle of your own dream anyway

When you weren't on the best terms and he wanted sex anyway

I dont think so

I am talking about other times

I don't why I'm entertaining this

What is your point

Im sorry

I'll say this calmly

You don't need to justify his behavior

Now

What was that story

You were just telling me

Gtg

She's coming up

I'm sorry!!!

2024-12-31T07:55:28

Hiya

Happy nye

Oh yeah! Nye

Nye hugs for you

Thanks

Sorry I had to cut out
Idk why she thinks sleeping in the bed is a good idea

This plot is crazy

Did she explain at l why she restarted that?

No

When the boys are here, it's her only option. But she's done it voluntarily as well

I'm guessing she thinks she's doing me a favor

Does it sound familiar?

Yes

If there's anything I can do , you'll let me know, right?

Yes

I have no idea what you could do, but thank you

I will be here for at least a couple of hours tomorrow while he returns his sister. I'd love if you have capacity for anything but kkow it's unlikely

Any idea what time?

I understand if not

Afternoon to evening

No precise time yet sorry

There never is

Ofc, got it

You could start talking about a potential NY 2025 sale or something lol

Did you perchance go through the green bag I dropped off?

Not yet, i am so sorry :(

It's ok

I'm not positive there are no stray receipts in that bag
I'm sorry I don't want you to worry but think you should know

Thanks for that

It's tucked away in the croffice and blends in well with what would look placed in there anyway

And i always elect to not view receipts

Ok good deal. I wasn't worried about what you you see

Thanks 🙂

I like how we wrapped similarly

Right?

I need to be more careful though

What happened?

I just didn't check for incriminating artifacts, that's all

Oh no problem

What would you tell someone who's thinking about getting me a brand new book from amazon? Published like 2020ish

What would I tell them about what?

Okay i see

I would say to please never ever pay full msrp for a book, especially on amazon, more esp if it's not a new release

Ah right, good advice!

If you are so inclined, i am going to lunch with the one friend i have today, afternoon. She is leaving me in the wild, per my request. If you wanted to/could get out

Cool!
Do you know where you're going?

Not quite

West side

New(ish) miniature development

2024-12-31T12:42:56

Heua

Hey

You okay?

Yeah

You?

What's going on? I sense "off" from you

Nothing really. Scrolling Reddit and thinking I need to get my hiney in the shower

Nah

What went on since last text?

I snoozed for a minute. Made a cup of coffee. Became furniture for cat

Haven't moved much

Rlh? Boys?

My arm is not doing it for me today

Boys been gone since Friday. Will be back this Friday supposedly.

RLH still sleeping upstairs

Any idea about the afternoon?

I was thinking to head out right after shower

I need a couple things anyway

Are you lunching?

I am. At the OG

I plan on being out for a while, if that influences you at all

VOA is half.off :)

Whatcha thinking?

Idk how you can even joke about thrift shopping rn 🙃

It's not joking

I'm at Fresh Thyme, will be here maybe 10 minutes

I'm still lunching

Are you trying to poke the bear?

I'm not trying anything

Bc that's how you poke a bear

I'll try and say this nicely.... idgaf

He's going to the movies with his damn sister if he wakes up anyway

Oh, it didnt occur to me that you dont know the mini resolution there was this morning

Maybe he found the Olive Branch in his ass and will offer it up again

No, I don't know anything

I'm headed to Kroger Westside now :)

Okau awesome!

Actually could you get me something plz?

Super heavy duty antibiotic goo and bandages?

Yes

Yay!

Heads up i hage a friend with me at the VOA

You are a guy i work with though, and we both like shopping for preownee goods

Im wearing fuschia and hightopped hair today :)

Suis par seule maintenant

Found you a new work bag

null

VOA on s cedar?

Mine is on the west side but i can make my way to cedar if you'd rather

Nono

Im on saginaw

Don't move

Near all the steak places

Attached to gordons

I can't stay but I can drop off things for you

Noooooooo!!!!!

Sorry

I'm here

I'll come out you silly boy

Thank you immensely,good sir babes

Ofc!

Nah mate,above and beyond like the sweet baby angel you are

Thx :)

Here's a basement corner idea

null

How peculiar!

Ive seen them in corner desk sectionals

I would be happy to claim this one or search for another

I have no place for this ty

Oh i posited it for the aquariacorner as a solution for by the beam. I think i misunderstand the layout

To the drafting board you go

Lol

2024-12-31T17:46:32

How goes it?

2024-12-31T19:10:33

null

Awwws

Buenos noches!

Y a te!

I just wandered back in

Oh hello lol

I am a paminlomic

Dalinbromic

null

Swipe L 4 times to expose the lucky boy!

null

You??

4 swipes $5 U in?

Aww cmon

null

Soooooorrry sorry sorry

null

Thoughts?

Recent vitals?

When did you last clean the open wounds?

How does the wound regions feel?

Any pain?

Lol ai wanted
Any penguin?

null

Yep

Yw

Damn, penguin must've escaped

Bwahahaha

Surprise y'all

Why do I feel so dirty

You are still owing me:

Recent vitals

Wound reports; general

You pay now

My lowest moment was that guy at DTW

I had no cash

And he pushed my wife to luggage and trolly

And I had nothing to give him

I over-tip as a rule. I literally couldn't

What say you???

Seated

null

2 mins standing

null

As I do not have your history

How do these compare to your expectations?

Did I send you the linguist question yet?

https://youtu.be/ZUANv2E7tuI?si=8TNU7FFwbYAWXHUu

Here it is

Ty for the vitals!

What is your temperature?

Still ISO thermostick

null

Plz give me a detailed summary of "ISO THERMOSTICK"

In search of

Found

98.3

Matriarchal conversation ongoing

Plz explain

My mothercalled
Im on the phone with her

Ohhh
Je comprends

Ouai

Questceque tu as fais aujourdhui?

YouTube

Aussie cichlid Content Makers (sm)

Lovely bunch

Well grounded lovely kids

One is cute AF in spite of myself

Tu as penserais belle penses de moi

In spite of,

Porque?

Ooooo

This girl on YT

But you

Irl

No competition

You hands down

Aaaaaand

Pssshhhhttt

Did you see that girl?

Non

null

What a quizzical photo

This was not featured or anything
This girl had been parading about for a few scenes and then delivered this scowl to daddy

Momentito, mi amor

Props to daddy

Si

Sheis me

You are daddy

Happened today lol

Is it so?

You know the face i make

There is a way

In which I feel terrible

Not because I had to move in the moment

But because I have not yet had the chance to make it up to you

Bc I have so much love for you

I do not understand

Holy fuck. Hitting the neeeeeeeeed sleep wall so hard. Eww.

Poor baby!!

I am cooking
Intermittent ol

What's cooking?

Breaded mozz sticks

Steamed broc

Fancy cheesy mac

Grilled ish veg burgers and chix

Cleaned U glasses for midnight pour

...

Honestly

I don't usually make a big deal about balls dropping

But brownie pts

And I was famished

H
N
Y

I
❤️

Youuuuuu

null

Waaaaa!

2025-01-01T06:45:44

Happy new year!!!!!

Thank you for not saying "new yearS"

2025-01-01T10:28:59

Good morning!!@

Howdy!

Did you ever watch him?

Him?

Howdy doody (sp?)

No, never did

I have an old GD book signed by the cast

How was your night & how is today?

Night was good... Alone, which is good under the circumstances

I sure slept later than I thought I would though

What circumstances?

Yesterday, they went fo the 1720 Mufasa movie

Too tired and sleeping and slow going to get to an earlier one

Circumstances though? I'm sorry i.got you in trouble

I am architect now

null

null

Wow!

??

Your arm is really clearing up!

Thanks to YOUUIUUU

I'm almost positive imfection was starting yesterday

How does it feel?

Better

Yay!

Yesterday it felt internally hot but not to the touch, weird to describe

Itchy-bitey

Like wiggly spaghetti was in my inside forearm

Temp was up to 99.6 (i normally run in the 96 - 97 range)

BP sismt want to stay normal

Itchy bitey spaghetti!

Right?!

Not good

But what circumstances say you??

Being home with rlh

Well, yes. That's one reason i didnt get home til 19h something

Is something unusual? Atypical?

Nope, just luck of the draw

I meant with her

Like, is she extraspicious or more negative than usual?

No, she's fine. Nothing more was said and I made food last night. I'm good

Your texts are short. Just checking on my fave person and their wellbeing bv i dont trust your self preservation to ckme rigjt out and pour problems out to me. Or anyone

Haha I'm ok!

Cet apres-midi?

I'm sleepy

Awwwz

Well if you somnadrive later cet afternoon youre welcome to come over here

Ty ty:)

It's giving....... much improved in the tidyness department!

Good job!

Thanks!

Getting rid of lots too

It's thay fresh start mentality

Need nap

 ​❤️​ to “ Need nap ” 

2025-01-01T16:24:52

Baaaaaabe!!!

2025-01-01T17:25:28

Yoooooooo!

Whatcha doin?

Emm hmm I'm making a scale for the aquarium so I know the volume of water based on the level

I kind of obsessed with such things

Noooooooo really!??!

Gotsme an apron

null

Well that's cute? A little outta season, but it'll come around

From my mother

Reminds me of slutty but that's fine lol

I wasn't going to say it 😋

Love the source

?

It's from my mother

Well, right lol

I have a math ish problem

You game?

You bet

Measuring now

Meanwhile, tell me about the day and the break and whatever plz ;)

I've been SOoo lazy today

Not exactly looking forward to working tomorrow. My office is cluttered beyond words. I've been neglecting it for two weeks lol

Hey saaaaaaame

I guess I'll just take it one step at a time

Cats will have to find places to nap upstairs again

Yep yep

My plan is to "foom box" my desk til i can actually organize it and hyperfocus on running reports

Good luck to us all!

Right!?

How do you like your mashed potatoes?

A little salt, touch of oregano or fresh parsley

Do you use gravy ever? Butter?

Butter if it isn't already cooked in. I rarely make gravy, but I'd have some if it was there probably

What are you doing with mashed potatoes anyway lol

How do you make gravy? Veg stock, mushrooms, flour?

Honestly just curiosity. You're vegatarian so idk how that works

I'm a good gravy cook at all. But I would definitely try mushrooms, veg stock or water from steaming veggies. I usually try adding a small amount of corn starch to thicken it because I don't know what I'm doing lol.

Interestingly, Morningstar farms sausage patties make excellent gravy

I'm *not* a gravy cook lol oops

Lol

Milk for a creamy version

They make.mushroom gravy packets and some probably work for vegges like you

No doubt

I also ask in case i cook for you, and because I'm trying tl vegify a lot of what i consume

Good idea:)

Some guy i like said it was cool or whatever

Pompous lot

Fo' sho'

How's the night? Have food?

Not yet

Just watching some aquarium videos

Imagine this: aquarium as the entertainment for "the center"

null

Books or record or whatever shelves included!

I also want this table for you. Idk why, really

null

And whatever this is

null

Huh!
I was going to guess slide viewer
But it's actually an 8mm film viewer

I can tell you where ro get it. Or procure it for you!

I'm not in need of one, but ty!

I know i know

But it's cool!

No doubt!

You find me a nice corner thing yet?

Wearing the wotch woman shirt around the house?

*witch

No not yet

Gaining outdated kmowledge?

Aww witch woman

Which witch?

The outdated one I guess?

Huh?

Who?

Stephsnie

Right, right

Are you going into office tomorrow?

No, my office days are Monday & Tuesday. Off Wednesdays

Wasn't sure with PTO and holidays

Right. Me either and i didnt want issues with my xoaching plan and all, so i sent a text with very specific questions and received a very set of specifics in response :)

null

More cool

A grandfather thermometer?

Idk

Any notable additions yesterday?

For me?

Yah

I did!

Cool plushes, a tonnnnnn of books, a few new articles of apparel, a crate that suits my chicken area, some olddd chicken s&p, a tiny paper dresser, idk what else

Lots of frames. Just to keep on hand lol

Paper/cardstock/tagboard dresser

null

Lol

Pretty fancy!

It's so pretty!

Got a cool thing perhaps for you

Idk original purpose but could hold small tools or something

null

null

null

Weird!
Coming from strange matter you'd think it would be a thermos or canister

null

It's for storing loyalty cards

It's a Flintstones era telephone

It's a coop piece of lansing coffee culture!

Not a terrible option for self defense in the event of a zombie apocalypse

Lol. It's light

Not full of hot coffee

Best place for a bunch of small magnets? Bezos, sure

Would need to be gluable

Hmm

Is this a new topic? Small magnets?

I see what you did there

Ummmm care to share?

My brain is jumping around lol

Strange Matter
Small Magnets
Stellar Magination

Star Man?

The mind wanders, but in it's own special path

Subliminal Message

Do I win?

Submissive mistress?

You win

Yay!!!

❤️❤️❤️

But it's you who wins the sub

(She is me)

Yay!

null

Doesn't everyone keep their dog in a bottle?

Lol that IS the dog's bottle

Lololol

I'm fading out darlin

Im bedding soon too

Sweet dreams and ttyt!!

Ty and same for you
❤️❤️❤️

2025-01-02T05:36:11

Good morning bebe!

You too!

Awake already!?

Yep!

It's amazing what going to bed on time does

Yes!

And avoiding the Guinness

Lol

Meh

Actually woke up a little after 4, tried to get back to it, but decided to get up an hour ago

Good work! Are you usimg the extra time to maybe clean/doom box the workspace?

Nah
Besides, RLH is sleeping right outside my office door

Twins! Lip

*lol

O rly

Ls not in the basement today?

Nope

I'll wake him circa 0730

You'll wake him up

Lolol

This used to be a thing here

This is alllllllllllllllways a thing here

Saturday was the forst time i let it go completely

He slept til 1030 to feed SIL then slept until 1600ish

I should be doing something though. Laundry to finish

null

Teims!

Yay!

I am strewn with clothes, if you couldnt tell

Lol how many clothes does a girl need?

Girl with good, little unique taste who's been known to be a little flighty with choices

+

Towels

+

Bedding

+

Rugs

+

Housemate clothes

+

SIL clothes

=

(Infinite)

Lololol

Are you headed anywhere today?

Oh. And how are you, in case i didnt ask?

No I'm not planning to go anywhere today. Doing well so far!

How are things?

Actually good ;)

Some buffoon is either mowing their lawn or snowblowing their driveway, neither of which is warranted rn

Keeping an eye out for my corner shelf?

Lol I to find 2 corner shelves!

Need? Want? Loathe?

We missin words yo

Oops missing aux verb HAVE

I only need one :)

You go dicker & deal for me on kzoo. Okay? Ok :)

Actually I need a corner cabinet

Are you just looking for a shelf?

Corner bookcase type thing

I saw some options on the interweb

Kinda wanna dickerdealdropdollars lol

FR though, they have one according to a friend of mine, plus Aprils next door is everything half off bc they're going out of business

What kind of corner thing do you need? Ive seen some

null

Back right

null

null

null

null

Examples at April's right now

null

Update for ya

Wow babe that looks GREAT

Yes! From YOU!!!

You're almost pink again!

Like a babelet

Aww babelet...

We're looking for something like the 2nd piece. Need some place for all the green glowy glass

Lots of shelves needed

Lol kinda same

Budget and criteria?

? And ?

Nothing contemporary I guess

So it needs character

Glass windows or open space

Windows would be nice , but I'm not going say required

What volume fish zoo did you want? Does shape matter? Just the glass wall type or did you need a fancy shape?

Plain ol' rectangular. Yes shape is important. Glass or acrylic. 75 gallon minimum. About 140 gal max.

Should be roughly 6 feet long

Okay so it WAS gallons and ultra magnum in size

You kids, lol

Heh!

Lolz

Omg my eyes hurt already and this whole work at a computer with slices inside my bent elbow.... no thanks

Owieeeee

Yep

And then it gets sweaty

Which means salty

I am salty babelet

You're starting to sound like breakfast

I dont want you to taste me salty!!!!

😋

No!

You have any escape capacity ce weekend?

The platonic kind, probably

Also...... potential overnight(s)? Not immediate but soon, maybe

Possibly! The dudes supposedly coming back tomorrow, so you know, distractions

Bien sur!

Eyyy

Heyyyy

What's up?

As an aside, could we ever go to Mason or Charlotte?

And lmk if you change your mind on escaping this evening ;)

Sure we can venture to scary towns down south some day.

You crazzzzzzzzy

There are cool antique places in mason

And a crazy fantastic thrift store

If you had a small wooden cubical box, what shade of stain or color of paint would you choose?

For the box

Umm

#C8A2C0

Nah mate, real words please

Or i choose

https://duckduckgo.com/?q=random+color&atb=v314-1&ia=answer

What color is this in acrylic?

null

Um, purple

Damn

I thought it was cobalt

Spin again!

https://color.adobe.com/create/color-wheel

You should play with this if you haven't tried it before!

I will later thx! Really gotta work. But also cant see color well.....

This site has tools for accessibility as well :)

Okay? How does that help when i cant see color well?

You will know at least that a color is not considered safe for different kinds of impairments

I'd actually be curious how some things look on their simulation tools

Know what??

You should tell me more about the box o gifts thise elves dropped off. Use any yet? Break? What about today? Wooly socks again?

What do you mean by safe for impairments? Like, id kmow it wouldnt work for color blindness? Lol

The site will say so, and show what things would look like in different color blind scenarios

Cool

Giftsases

AND i can open youre today!!!

null

I also plan on sharing my fave soundtrack with you later ;)

The swatches with dashes in them are the most affected compared to the original colors in the top bar

That's interesting - how do colorblind people tell what it should be?

For real

I mean, they can't
But a developer (painter, drawer, creator of random colored boxes) might be able to tell that what they're seeing is not what other people see. If you start with a color switch that has an actual RGB value, you can assess it for consistency

I say this because i used to see color just fine. I no longer do, and it's frustrating to think of being described what's missing when i cant interpret what they see

Also, may need tiny taser

Waking up is haaaarrrrddd

I am so fucking tirwd and owwwwwed

I hear ya there!

Srsly how fo i combat this

Struggling myself

Coffee will be involved at some point

Imma get up and move around. Elbow killing me. Sniffin the Vicks Stix too

Lol Vicks stix

It's real

2025-01-02T13:30:01

Eat something!

++ i have a few genius ideas for you

No eats only coffee lol

Sooooooooooook tired here

Cant even do my work

And it's importabtish to do today. Oh well

I recommend 30 minute nap

Rather be making aou5 and then snuggled asleep with you

Idk how i can do that

Oh baby tell me more about auo5

Use your lunch if it's not too late!

Just ended

Well damn

But that's 16 mins

*16

Damn. Fifteen

Fifteen???

What kind of sweatshop is this

The kind where i leave 15 minutes earlier

Let's new year rizz to get you a better job and auo5 all daze

Oh shit, i know what's up

??

Imma get me a aou5 tshirt

Je ne le sais pas

Just scheduled my colonoscopy
Woo!

Jan 24

We should go away the weekend before :)

Right? Long weekend too

I know

And i was serious bur ok

I figured you were serious
What's the story?

Another SIL weekend here and i keep begging for alone time and trips. Day off is a good excuse

Silodontis strikes again

Fwiw I have to go to Flint Friday 17th. This is the second show I got signed up to go to

You still have NO idea with her

Maybe you decide to go somewhere overnight on the 18th. Or 19th. Or you find me one of those days when I'm out of town and lonely and you just wanted to say hi

Wdym I have no idea

How awful the whole situation with my ILs is

oic

Been to restore lately?

Nope

Darn

The only place I've been was Billy's antiqueues

I got lost in there

Uhhhh

William's town?

Omg i did too! Literally

I found a commissary though

And green glowing glass ggg

Some chickmustve liked you to tell you all about it when she didnt even get to go with!

She had surgery or some bs

Lame

Totes

Made for some cool pics tho

I put one on Reddit and invited the photoshoppers to have a go

The glass or my arm??

The glass :)

I mean they might like your arm too

It's nice and squishy

But very weak and limp and pinkishred and owzie

Yeah, but they could make it better!

null

null

Hm! I'd try that

😊

Baaaaaaaaaaabe

Are you free at last?

Yep!

My poor starving owie sleepy baaaaaaabeee!

No longer!

Now i just want to go somewhere

Life just isn't complete is it

You need a hobby!

Wanna borrow my lathe?

I have lots

Of hobbies

It comes with lots of stabby tools!

And hazards!

Coming to help me organize? Maybe I'll decorate my shelf first thing

Have you seen the video where this dude gets yanked on the lathe by his collar or something

Wiiiild

No thank you

Firefighter paramedic mother

No need

Oh yeah I keep forgetting

What else do you learn in 3rd grade??

Yeah it's a wonder you're not a vegan already

Have tried ro be both many times

3rd grade

Mrs Yost

Iirc

Opposite Mrs Wong

I loved that year at school

We learned a little bit of German

From the aide I think

Colors

SCHWARTZ

That's the last year i remember being a little good at maths

EOT

ROT

I was also 8yo that year

I UPDATED

I updated my spreadsheet of age references if you'd like a look

Oh?

We did something with shapes in maths

I didn't learn much... I was already pretty good

At maths

Im great at super simple or practical kinds. Nothing else mathu

That was the year before I started to program

*mathy

Mathu, God of maths

That's when i started learning spanish. On my own. Already knew French

Mathieu

Noice

Quite

Is how to spell it en francais

Oui

The first IQ gifted test i had they did again because i had a 9th grade reading level at the start of 1st grade but at grade level for math

You were prioritizing!

When i took the ACT (scored out of 36 i think), i had

16 Math
35 or 36 English
34 Reading
29 Science

I do not make sense

But i also make too much sense

Sounds about right

I'd like to think I could demystify maths for someone willing and wanting to know

I think you could

It has always needed to make real world sense to me vs hypothetical

Maybe tutor calc 1, but that would be a challenge for sure

But explain up to that level

So-called "humble brag" lol

Use dollars and clearance sales to learn percentages

Use measuring cups and recipes for fractions

10c can returns for decimals

Mortgages and compound interests for principle, base, variable

I passed algebra in high school because i wrote reports on Pythagoras' life and cathedral architecture

And things like that

Well dang you don't need my help lol

Maybe just a good calculator

No shame in that

Never learned how to use it

Exponents is the highest function i really know how to press. Or squares.

So basically leaving out the trig and log functions

I literally dont know what those are or why i would use them

Ok, no problems

Not to humble brag now that it's my turn, but i am incredibly resourceful and always always "figure it out"

Damn straight

2025-01-02T18:56:39

null

Did we switch topics?

What was the topic?

Ah! Topic of Capricorn I say!

Cheers!

Omg

So what are you dealing with, why is it difficult, what is that picture of? Books? Looks like books

Where's your kama sutra copy? Which pages did you flag and what are they flagged for?

This is 50 pounds of Krishna books

There are 100 lbs more elsewhere

I'm sure KS is in there somewhere

I literally never opened it

What!?!? Get to it!

Too busy with aq

null

Whyhow?

I have a sexggestion later

Light cleaning, good hygiene, and the need to rearrange all the rocks. The latter most is much easier when the water level is low. Unless you like wet pits.

Which become wet nipples

Which turn into wet sternum and elbows, which turn in to wet digita and belly buttons

You probably sense where this is going

All roads lead to my janitor

I actually do not

Oh my janitor

Scratch my janitor

From the Latin of Janus, for door

Rub my janitor

Wut

Etymology my dude

I'll show you my janitor

If

...

Audience participation plz

I like showing her to you

Aww

Actually aww

I admire her

Why?

Afaik a somewhat uncommon configuration

All bodies are really cool

Some are really interesting and fun as well

When there were too many digits last time, how did you know?

How many were there?

I asked you

There were two

Why did you ask me

Index and middle right hand

Because I thought you flinched a little and I knew I was pushing my luck

Sorry

Hope you don't mind

No babe

I am sorry

No!

It's your body

Well i want you to have it

Just light testing is all

Ok fine

And ty m

Tyvm

And I shall

One of these days i hope you'll fulfill a fantasy of mine

Tell meeeeee

You do whatever 6 want, everything you want, to me. With me. Prepositions be damned, i want to be all yours

*whatever you want

No idea why a 6 is in there

Your fantasy consists of content I direct?

That's pretty ballsy of you, sis

If I didn't know better ....

What manner of creature were you in your previous life?

null

Nap took over, sorry!

Hahaha!

Good!

How are you feeling

Pretty olay thanks! You?

Good, good

Olay

To you as well

Yeah!

Woop!

So

What kind of girl arrrrre you?

So many answers

The curious kind

Do continue

Idk. What kind of answers are you seeking?

Who arrrrre you

Actually

One sec

This is the question I want you to address

If you don't mind

Can you give me an idea of what kind of response you would give? I'm trying to respond how it'll make sense to you

Were you a gladiator?
A tree?

a farmer?

Did you sell ice cream?

Anything you can remember

I think I've beeen more than one thing

Sure, sure. Ofc

Whaddya reckon

I think something where water facilitated life - saoling, exploring, piracy, idk

Always feminine. That might sound odd but i dont think my lives have crossed gender lines

Almost always single, childless, something religious or spiritual or martyring, a la joan of arc, cottage witch, medicine woman, etc

Always young and not getting old but still being old while being young? That makes sense to me but i can try and explain better maybe

Always tragic, smart, and (sorry to humblebrag) enigmatic. Sirenesque to a degree. Kind of doomed to a fate that was predestined to be unfair to me buf to serve a greater good

What do you think?

Yeah, really resonates with me

Jsyk

I will fight
The victim complex

But

I do not deny it

Not a mean it anything

I dont see it as victim

Mean fight

Nonna that

I see it as necessary sacrifice?

Ok, ty

I will fight it

But in a nice way

I dont get that?

Invoke my best Yoda

You will

Lol

Nbd sis

I'm saying I've got your back

But I might cheerlead you through something you don't wanna

Because I feel that for you

I also know limits

Actually, i think we could get on the same page with this

It's like ive played the game 99 times but this time there's a check code and maybe i level up

And yes

Cheat code

This is a negotiation

What do you mean by cheerlead theiugh something i dont wanna?

There is only one way to know the true price

Oh geez

Imma drag you through something where you might be all like "ok y'all this is where I get off" and I will say nope

Not today

This isn't the one

Sorry

Does it make any sense?

Maybe

I should really frame this in its proper light

But at that, i do have something probably a little alarming that's a mentality of mine

I dont know if ive told you before or not

Typically i tell zero people. My therapist knew and that was all i cared to tell

What say you?

I say this

Lol one sec

I think one thing you've not had much is someone in your corner. If you don't agree with this, I'd be interested to know

I think that's very, very true. I also think a lot of the same people would still tell you today that they were always in my corner no matter what. When i intentionally give off every stereotypical sign or symptom of REALLY needijg help though, or i specifically tell someone i need them to get me some immediate help, there's nothing but crickets

You don't strike me as a hypochondriac

I think I'm a hyperchondriac, if anything

Lol wordsmithtressed perfectly

I believe what you tell me

Who will be willing to vouch for you when you can't?

What do you mean?

Who cares about you?

That sounds really horrible, but I want to know your take

Are you familiar at all with Anna Karenina?

Ended badly

Ive referenced her character to me for close to 20 years now

It's a Russian novel, of course it ends badly

Ofc

Basics of the story are that she toils around and gets her life messed up a little. No one really cares because she did it to herself. She's in so much internal pain that she doesn't see a point in continuing because everything she loves has been taken away from her and she doesnt have love left for herself

To get back at those who kept saying they care for her, she throws herself in front of a train because the only way she can hurt them nearly as much as she hurts because of them is to hurt herself to cause them the same pain she's felt

Sorry not really an uplifter

Right

So

Nobody gives a shit right

Kinda, yeah

Fwiw

I am sorry I feel like I'm making this really dramatic

And I don't meant

Mean to

It's okay

But you've identified 3 people to me that don't treat you like shit. And you are related to none

In any way

Familial or legal

I know 1 that hasn't let me down

Well can I add myself to that list? Asking as a friend

You ARE that lost

Noooooooo

Lol?

One sec, spousealert

Hey

Oh hai

I gotta conk out

null

I love you too!

Sorry i had to dip out :(

2025-01-03T06:15:05

Hiya

2025-01-03T07:51:42

Hiya!

What's up?

Buttercup

Nothing much, you?

Where's my petit dejeuner?

Good question

:(

I may have some news

Uh-oh

It's a bit uncertain and idk if you want to know

Okay. Tell me please

I just don't want you to flip out or anything

Ohhhh no

RLH might be going to AR in a couple weeks

Oh. Okay.

Impromptu visit to see her brother. He's not well

Okay

Taking the offspring with her

Okay

So I might be utterly alone but for the cats to keep me company

On these cold January Michigan nights

Ohhh i see

And days

Perhaps i can comfort you

Well

The nights are so cold though

Idk if you want to deal with it

No curfew

You said you didn't want me to flip out...?

Are you upset

Not at all

Quite the opposite

Why would i be upset?

Also, busy work morning so i may be slow to respond at first

Ok no worries
I'm just pulling your chain babe

I tried not to look excited when RLH told me the news

But my head was spinning with ideas

I love it! When might this be?

I think she was talking about a week from today, but maybe its really two weeks. One or the other

I'll plant those seeds then :)

Fair warning that i am absolutely unavailable the 11th

Busy tonight?

What's up the 11th?

You know me, busy doing nothing

Busy with my trivial pursuits

Really need to clean my hobby and work areas

They're getting out of hand

My baby bff's birthday party

She is now 367 days old today lol

Love me all those trivial pursuits!

Aww! She's a 1/1 baby?

Firat of the year in her county!

Noice

"Working" today?

Lol exactly

I need to pull together a spreadsheet for finance. That's about it

It'll take me 10 minutes

What do they want now?

Idk if I have the willpower

They want to be daddied

null

O
Shit

More willpower now?

I can think of one thing only

BOOBIE

Nice boobie!

My god you have cute tits

Thank you ❤️

So. You get to do what you want while i am present, willing, able, and enthusiastic

What ever will you do?

I have 2 other topics in queue if you need them. Maybe 3. Or 4. 6.

Sorry I'm still thinking about boobs

Good

Mine are very subpar though

But my ass kinda makes up for it

Your ass doesn't have to answer for anything. What are talking about "subpar"? They're cute AF and they're squishy and wonderful

They're very small

Size isn't everything

In fairness, so are some.other parts of me....

I bet they look smashing in a Summer dress

And I know they are awesome and bouncy when you ride me

And they feel most excellent in my mouth

Very satisfying indeed

I was actually thinking i might ride you again

I'd love that

Any time you want it

I'd love a lot more positions with you

My sad little baby trex arm wouldn't have been able to handle riding you last time

Gotta get a grip, yknow?

Right!

You ARE large

Idk if you actually know that

Idk, you keep saying that but I don't have a point of reference

I do know you treat me so well

And I appreciate it

I dont treat you that well

I'm lazy AF and greedy

Well whatever you call it sure is fun

I am soooooooo glad you think so

And you dont seem to have been ultra annoyed with it all

Ummm
No

Definitely not

2025-01-03T12:17:03

Hi!

I ask too many questions and im still too novice about a lot of lots

null

Well

I recommend you stop eating cat ears. That isn't helping

Purrtein?

I know they're tangy

Lol

Back to me on my back, anyway....

I love that youre the one who gets to be first at lots of fun things

Awesome!

I'm pretty sure you like it too

You bet I do

And I just love to please you

It makes me so happy

I wish i pleased you so, so much more

We just have to keep practicing!

You know, lot of reps

Try try again

It makes me feel really bad, really guilty that you always leave unsatisfied

I understand your concern
It's not as all bad as think

And it's not your fault!

I can't words apparently

Meh

I CRAVE you finishing over and over

And then traumamemorybrain thinks you're building a case of IOU lists

Ah, that makes sense

Yeah sorry. Past rebecca doesn't forget much and current rebeccabrain lives with it

Yeah I understand! I can definitely tell you there is no IOU here. You don't owe me anything irl. Use the feeling for motivation if it helps. But I do not harbor any negative feelings about our relationship

You're safe

Yes.

But understand they alllllllll say that

But it sure is a treat to come with you

Lol

And I hope I can do it much more

I hope so, too

People have told you a lot of things. Idk why you let them get away with it sometimes. But I am just me and happy to share

One sentence "are you sure it wasnt just bad sex?"

I feel like you're not actually asking me that.
If I had to answer I would say definitely not. I'm having a really good time and this is some of the most fun I've ever had

In spite of my limitations

Ah. Not what i was saying

While recounting & reporting,more than one authority asked me. I had no basis for comparison either

Hmm

I know NOW how wrong they were

Good!

But theni was 19 and it 6 first week on campus and it wasnt a bavk alley stranger

Sorry, having popcorns

null

😋

You are so cute!

Haha, thanks

2025-01-03T14:23:33

Now presenting: Friday afternoon of a holiday week meeting stance rebecca!

null

Ab fab baby!

Aww thanks!

Whatre you doing?

Just wrapped up a spreadsheet for my good friends in finance, wrapped up an interwebs purchase for my bestie, and now sitting on my laurels for a moment, wondering if I should take a shower this week?

Did you actually have a meeting?

I did

A touch base, rather

Why wouldnt i have?

That's blind confusion is all

Interwebs purchase, you say?

Yah

I was thinking some things. How busy are ya?

Thinking huh?

I'm not busy

I have a green bag next to me

Ah yes, green bag

I might know the one

Was thinking i might open her up

Sounds like something I'd say
Be my guest!

I hope you open me up again

Heh

It never gets old

I do still want you all the way in, holding my thighs open and butterflied to the bed

💘

You'll do it?

But of course

My flexible dolly

And you know I'll want some downward dogging again

Hell yes

I was going to ask about your arm last time but we didn't get that far

When and what did you want lasf time that we didnt get to?

Down dog

Oh. Right. That would have been impossible

That's what I figured
Absolutely not a problem

But I think about it

About which part?

Down dog

Lol

Please tell me why

One, it's sexy
Two, it feels great
Three, I think I had more leverage
Four, your ass is adorable

I thought you were opening presents, not conducting a sexual preference interview 🤣

I'm kidding

You can ask whatever you want

Science is always research duh

Correct!
And great answer

Sexy.... whyhow? Things can feel different for you?

Ah fuck

I need sugar

Damn

Ok get you some sugar!

Tell me answers while i go!

The answer is down dog

You like it better than others, yes?

I like it in the mix

ooOoo!!!

And if you wanted to have sparkle butt thingy that would make it extra swanky

I have something i think i need to make clearer

Yes

When i told you where i keep the playthings that was me relling you, you should use them with me. On me. In me.

I know I know

Liesssssss

Nah it's true I understood that

I have two issues I'm thinking of rn

One, this is all new to me. Or almost all new to me, and I need to work though my weird shy-like reaction to things like this. It probably sounds silly, but it is sort of an inhibitor.

Weed would probably lower those barriers. No joke

I agree 10000 percwnt with both

They're almost all unused things

Two, I feel like we're always pressed for time (even if we aren't) so worry-wart me doesnt think theres time to explore

It's a thing for me

I understand that too

I need to fucking relax sometimes

Erhmhmmm

Like i dont need to lol

You probably see it

Idk

I do and i dont

I have no reason to be all conservative, but I still do

null

Yeah for sure

Well hello there

Damn I want to lick you

I want you kissihg every last inch of me

Please

Sooooooooo many kisses coming your way

It will be so freeing to not have a curfew

I just have to keep the cats alive

Looks like you're losing your knickers there hun ;)

They were wet anyway

You take them

Nice :)

I miss you

Ohhh
I miss you too babe

Hopefully we will have extended opportunities for quality time soon

Yes!

You are occupied in the morning? And sunday?

Or unoccupied and unavailable
Or something like that

Ah. Tant pis.

Hope springs eternal I guess

Have you sprung off lately?

Sprung off? Lol

Emissified?

Hehe

Yesterday

Not today

Yeah?

What were you thinking of?

Hmm

Details, daddy!

I can't think of it now but I do recall I was standing up, which is not the norm for me

It's not exactly a memorable experience

In general

It's not like being with someone

Do you wver have that primal instinct to just grab me and go?

Sometimes
When I'm near you
Like in the kitchen

And then Mr practical brain steps in and he's all like

Just a second! Is that floor clean?

F'in idiot

I have a shower

I have washcloths

I've literally been fucked on diry and grass somewhere near that parky thing with the benches and water somewhere around groesbeck

I get it

Inhibitions

Not always helpful

And believe me, I've been living with these for a very long time

That doesn't mean they aren't defeatable tho

I have none, but the only reason is because they all got taken away from me. I'm okay without them now :)

You do quite well, yes

Maybe that's not entirely true

At least you seem to

I would tell you a story excerpt to help illustrate, but the depravity in me wants to see your face when i tell you

Lol

It isn't a good story, sorry

Sigh, like so many for you

Many of those that I've hinted at are the same story

It's just probably incredibly bad

Well that's ok. Don't let the past haunt you right now

Okay :)

I do want to tell that story

Idk when

Or how

But i at least want to try

Idk if you know how it feels when words literally won't form out of your mouth

Probably not the way you've experienced that

When have you had it happen?

I've been at the point of exasperation with RLH more than once where I realized my instincts were to yell, or throw something, and decided to walk away instead.

Because words were not going to work

I've also been in a state where I felt like I didn't know what to do, say, or think because I was so derailed by some argument we had. I would literally just go look at a wall somewhere.

Somehow I think you're talking about something else though

On my way to Kroger zah!

It is something else, yes. But you cant know it until it happens with you

Le kroger! For quoi!?

Une shelf du coin?

Idk shelf lol

Lol

Need foodstuffs!

And snacks!

What aisle are you in?

You know

Snaaaaaaaacks

Tarts

Aisle sex?

To nine?

Please!

Lol

So i haz nosnacks?

See you misunderstood me
You're going to be the snack!

That too

Maybe if i lose some inhibitions I'll tell you exactly and very specifically how you should taste your snack

Really get in there and savor every last bit

Feedback is always welcome!

No, you misunderstand

I want to see what some things are like and request them in real time

That's what I'm saying :)

You can push my face where you want it too

Wait

Could i really touch you head? Grab it, maybe?

Yes!!!

Totally

Ohhh fuckkkmk

I'm so turned on by that

Shove my face in your pussy if that's what you want lol

Ohhhhh my godddddd yes

This makes for an interesting shopping experience btw

Like my with your entire tongue from the bottom to the top

See what your true lingual potential is by sliding that oral appendage into me. Swirl around if youd like. Id like to try.

Oh yes indeed

Yum!!!!!

And if you're ever okay with it, flick and lick that tight tiny hole in my ass too

Oh my goodness
Yessssss

I'm more ok with it than I may have presented myself

Are you ok knowing i know i like it?

Yes totally fine!

Side note that if i ever have even the slightest doubt that it'll icky or if i could be (at worst) a neutral experiemce for you, i wont let you near there. Or me, really

That's an important mentalitu

State of mind, basic hygienic necessity, whatever

For both of us

Agreed!

I have seen pics of extremely unhygienic things

And yeah, no

Yeah no to what?

Oh. Grossness.

Yeah im just untidy

I hope that's been at least somewhat evident

Quasi related - what's your guess on how many times ive gone to get waxed since we kicked off this crazy little thing called love?

I know of two
And that would be my guess

It's actually been once. Day before the first time

Are you sure? Bc I thought I remember you telling me you were going there another time

Yes. 100% sure. I depillatoried myself another time with cream stuff as an experiment.

But really, you need to tell me if it's an embarrassment

Ok cool, I will say something if I think you should know

Please be nice about it

But youve seen me at a very literal worse that the worst i get in all senses

If youre feeling like you need a bit paradoxical knowledge for something you sorta caused in a good but bad but ultimately sad and kinda weird way, you let me know

In my mind, it's a sentimental wistful kind of thing

I just want you to be in the right mood for the knowledge youll gain

Ok, remind me later plz!

And seriously, I'm never going to try to make you uncomfortable about your body. Things happen, no worries

And I understand your aesthetic, and that's all good with me. I love love love a smooth kitty. But I am totally cool with a furry one too. I'm never going to shun you for something like that!

Smooth feels better on me, idk if you feel any different if I'm smooth?

Not sure I'm following

If I'm smooth all over, sex feels better. Everything feels better. You can even get closer in. I dont know if me having less hair means sex feels better for you at all. Or why would you still like him

Okay, the day kicked my ass so i may fall asleep very suddenly

Ok babe get that nap whenever you want

I know you don't have, but have you ever tried shaving someone else?

Know i dont have? Explain the first part plz

Oh! You know i dont shave!

I have not. Also have not had someone shave me but it's been asked. That's a thing?

Sorry! Shave. Yes. It's a thing. It's fun. You're welcome to do me baby if you want

Why is it appealing? (Genuine question, not judgy)

It's like a caretaking thing, and you get to handle your partner in new ways and have a great reason to look really closely. Usually followed by vigorous sex ofc

In theory that would make good erotic ASMR lol

I actually never thought about that

I think i want you to try that with me

Sounds extremely vulnerable

Oh yes 100%

Have you done this?

And you know, you have to get used to the idea of dragging a razor or whatever across your partner.

Yes I have a few times

Does it still appeal to you with me as your canvas?

Obv you could do whatever, doesn't have to be shaving

100% yes it does appeal to me now with you

Anything else in the caretaking realm?

God I'm imagining something incredibly erotic right now

Oh you know, lotions and potions and slippery things

Geez gutter girl

It's just slidey slippery

Fingers

I remember

And things

Yes?

How funny

My current imagery involves your slippery fingers sliding very slowly and intentionally into foreign canals while your mouth glides kisses along the slope between my neck and shoulders

But i havent decided if youre in front of me or along my posterior to begin with

Oh baaaaaabe

It's slow and soft but methodical and firm in the way the heat rises when we go down that path

And it's so, so wet

And i cant stop the noises i make

And you never knew a broken back could flip and twist and arch so much

Especially when my hips are anchored where you want them

Where theyre best suoted in that moment

Too bad you only have the 2 hands

And I only have one mouth

You are soooo hot

You shall have it

Did i mention the breathe that barely escapes im a wisp from one set of lungs into the other's ear?

Dont worry, if i nobble juiuuuuuuuust the right way i can get it back

OMG baaaaaabe

So good

Make it so

null

You shall have it

Oh is it!?

Yes

How wonderful

Hobbit birthdays are fantastic

You as the birthhobbit give to your frienda

He brought us so much

More than anyone realizes. Such amazing, complex genius

null

Excellent!
I have made my tribute!

Oh oops I'm too early lol

May i request something please?

Also, i beh toyr finest pardon, sir, but what were you clicketyclackubg about circa 1430 on this fine 3rd day of January, the year of some lord 2025??

Lololol

null

null

null

Ah well as it happens, I share with The Professor the fact that I took my bathing of the year in this very as well

null

null

null

My first bathing

null

You are so welcome

null

null

null

But pray tell

null

null

null

Did you receive a perhaps enticing missive via email?

Some bloke with the name "Andy"

Yeah

Some bloke

null

Hell of a response, btw

Yep, all the fabric a girl ever needs

So much more than fabric!

You do know i can/do sew, yes?

I didn't!
Ok good you got the thing! Sorry it's kinda late

And i have a number of quilts i made myself

And i routinely thrift things and make them whatever i want

Well you can knit while you relax in the spa

Usually shorter lol

I do not knot

I crochet, but i only know straight lines. I'm wocked fast at scarves though

You do knot

You never know for me

Knot

Once upon a time i had dreams of being a costume maker and designer in broadway or film

Dammit

Historically accurate

And i had a mentor

And instead of performing ir tech crew or pit orchestra, i did all the costuming and dress for the high school productions when i wasnt chez u of m mott

Oh shit

I can do a lot of things. All pretty well too

Damn

Sorry

I'll
Fuck
Say so
Damn

Oh! The past lives thing?

I would have fit VERRRY well as a spinster in an Austen or Bronte novel. Perfect governess, i woulda been

Without thinking of literary characters, do you have any sense of previous identity?

I thought i said a lot yesterday

Honestly, i feel drawn to witch trials and joan of arc

And the romanovs

In all seriousness, what do you think that says?

It's well aligned with your outlook on things generally

Legit goth

10/10, will do again

I hope so

But it isn't intentionally an outlook. It's been kind of an aura for me for as long as i can think back

Right on

It's fine if you dont believe it or think it's silly. My bones know what they feel and they remember weird stuff at their core

We're all just insignificant carbon stardust bits anyway

I think no such things

RLH hung with the Hare Krsna crowd before me. One of the beliefs is reincarnation

I got into the beliefs superficially, but never felt like the was an objective reason to actually believe it

But it is nevertheless full of positivity and selflessness

And they make the world's best food
Often found for free on Sundays

Anyhoo

Reincarnation is a fun way to think about "why do I wish I were born a girl?"

Fz plz

Sorry love!

Heya!

Spice girl

Basil

Bah-zul

I am soooo lightheaded. Do not like, not recommended, 0/10

Oh no!

I know, right?

So why how?

Idk

I am ok

You?

Tis nearly time for the toast to The Professor!

Yes I am good ty

So you had much basil is it?

Just my herbal alias

But i do grow a few varieties

And are you ok eating it?
Have we already had this conversation?

Yes i am okay eating it? Unless there's a non literal meaning i dont get

No special meaning.

Nightshade family, as peppers, potatoes, tomatoes, et al

Poison!

And ironically all "European" cuisine but amerindigenous

Awkward statement permission plz?

Ofc

Promise you'll try not to feel bad? I just said try

Ok

I'm only saying something because the thouguts persist. And actually, maybe you can help drown them out

It's something from earlier today in the conversation. And a lot of people say it. Mostly the other side

It's hurtful to have the idea that after assaults and abuse that i did more harm and was wrong, not "going after" anyone who perpetrated

I think i phrased that the best i could. You werent mean or callous or intentionally flippant at all, but hearing things like "i dont know why they're still out there" or wondering why i didnt pursue legal or punitive action is a twist to the knofe every time

I know you meant it compassionately, but it dredges up way more than i could ever tell you. Though i would like to tell you some of the branching thoughts from this root of ideology now if that's ok

I also don't want or need an apology, you didnt do anything wrong but i say it to get it off my mind and so it doesnt become an habitual response from you. Or if youre ever around someone else who says it then you can correct them

Sorry

Ohh dang dude I am sorry

And I totally hear you

I don't actually remember this
Do you have any context?

No worries if not

And totally fine -- in fact preferred -- if you can quote me verbatim

Yeah, just not actual text bc i delete youra for obv reasons

It was earlier today most recently, you didnt know why some of those people were still walking around

I am inclined to say around 3 or 4pk but idk

I see

That's good enough

I'm sorry babe

It's really okay, i didnt want to dwell on it so i told you

Not pointed at you jsyk, thank you for telling me!

I'm glad you are ok talking to me

I never want to hurt you

There was one guy who was like the 3rd person who knew about my father (in my adult life) and harped on about how there's no statute of limitations when there's a minor and i should and alrwady should have gone the prosecution way and if he went and did anything like he did to me to someone else then how could i be okay with that

And based on what i know about my brother, I'm still dyjng inside from that commentary

Owww

Yeah

And I know I also have opinions

And I actually had a convo with myself about that a few days ago

But please tell

And first week of college guy, i had a facebook group back in 2005 when i met him and "after" and it was that "(name) is the scourge of the earth, just go ahead and ask me". I didnt invite anyone to join but it had 13 girls in that group by the end of the semester, one of whom is still a long distance friend, one of whom ismy best friend but lives in kansas, and i dont have a doubt why the rest were in there.

One of my guy bffs from then (and kinda now) was a mutual acquantance when i met him a few years after my incident and i dont remember the context but the guy had a reputation for being ultra skeezy. Same MO for all of us too. So so gross to me my face curls. The whole reporting flop was also insanely bad even though i did it all by the book and i could probably walk you through every minute of how all of the red tape and admin and actual discouragement for taking more action went.

Your turn

You were saying something

But also, did you know that if you go to court you have to describe every detail of what happened,your body, his, and you cant sound rehearsed but it has to be almost identical each recitation of what transpired? And use anatomical terminology. Everyone in the courtroom sees every picture and sees every sample of what was collected - closeups and full corpus. They hear what HE says for it all too, all his details, how you wanted things and came over completely invited and you werent under any influences. You could have left during the movie you watched but you didnt. You kissed back. You didnt fight or scream or anything else. You could have called 911 or campus police from anywhere and you didnt. Everyone hears what the officers choose to remember. And the nurse's report and how you reacted when she touched your shoulder and what every millimeter of you looked like, if you had hair if she combed it and what she found and how much and there are picturws of that too
How hard or simple it was for the internal exam and what that says

Mind you, this was also in the era of "but what was she wearing" when low rise jeans and going-out tops were a thing

Definitely

Better hope his friends arent vengeful or harassing of you

Babe

Better hope you dont choose the same 1 of 5 dining halls on campus because then you might freeze in line and straight up drop everything youre holding

Too much pressure? Mandatory counseling

In the counseling center, next to his dorm

Yknow, something akin to that mentality

Fin, par maintenant, avec ca

Bien sur

Wish I could help hug you rn!!!

Hug help too

How are

How are you

I love you babe 💕

null

I love you too

I am okay

Ok beebee

Sorry, spousearound for a few more

Ty for telling me all things

Ok

Thanke fir listening

Yes always

A few odd questions. Then you talk please?

I think you believe everything ive said, bad experience-wise. What makes you believe me?

A few reasons

For instance, the way you mete out the stories

And introduce then

Them

And the actual delivery

How?

I can't claim to be smart honestly

When it comes to girls

But I know this lol

Please do not be offended

Ok

That is a self-effacing joke

Please dismiss that if it's ik

Ok

Alright

I feel like you're not so much telling me stories as reliving memories

Making things up doesn't go this way

And your actual reaction to your own stories

Like I see you disappear (kinda) sometimes

Anyway

All of this is absolutely consistent with what I've come to understand as the abused persons perspective

Somebody told me once that i somehow show hyperawareness and 1000 yeard stare at the same time, all the time

And you have told this to me in ways I never hoped I would hear, but what's done is done, and I love you like breath, so

I dont have to say anything if it makes you uncomfortable

Im sorry

I want to go through whatever things is happening for you now, with you

No no

Hear me plz :)

We're already in in babe let's go forward together

We're in it

Let win it

You and me

Whatever we can

I'm with you

Yeah. I want to tell you Portugal soon

Oh

There shouldn't be chapter headinga like this

I'm habing a weird realization and idk if i can describe it

Most people don't go through time.like this

I logically know that but there's not anything i can reference or compare it to

I dont really have a life story or even basic history that doesnt include all of it

Btw the clementines at Kroger right now are to die for

I dibt eat clementinws but thank you

Dommage

I just didn't like the seeds

Oh but these are seedless thingies

A h, they are cuties

How could I forget?

Please continue

Or we can pivot

Kinda waiting on more feedback

Sure

I feel like I am given of some information from you that is singular in nature

And I want you to know that I care about you and those experiences

I care a lot

And I will support you any way I can and as you wish/need/desire

I am no professional dude counselor of whevs

I am an empathetic guy who finds you amazing and, yet with uncommonly difficult baggage, and love all the more, and all the more for opening up to me about ut

That's my hill

Lol

Does my tightness ever fuck with your head?

Not until now.... lol

Oh babe you make me chuckle sometimes

Like only every time

I somehow forget /exactly/ how tight you are

Btw

Tysm

For guiding me in

It's a good thing, good partner skill, good for you I'm sure as well

There is still something about your pelvic anatomy that I don't understand

Pythagoras has entered the chat

He was in a cult

null

What do you have teouble understanding?

I mean look at it

Something about your angles

I think i can help explain, only if you want

null

Awww

Literally the result of searching angles

I get one. Fucking. Angle.

Lol

Yeah

Your angle doesn't quite make sense yet

Angle of approach

And entry

And the exact height

As you have no doubt noticed

I only have hypotheses

In my feeble attempts to fuck you dear

They're wonderful

I really want to completely let go

Im too scared

Do you want to understand more of my biology or anatomy pr whatever? It is your choice. I will need to give you tmi to do it though

Some other time? It will come up again lol if you'll excuse the pu

Lolllll

Yes. Can i ask why not now? Im just curioua

Whatever the truth is is fine

Too deep for the moment

I can always povot and ask worse things

I know you caaaaan

But maaaay you?

Up to you, sir

Keep
It
Simple
Sexy

Hmmmm

Have you had a hummer before?

Do i need to define?

What's happening over there?

Sorry

Np

Snack obtained

Hummer
Have heard of
Have not experienced

null

null

Oi

I have not given. Unsure how. Would like to try, if you're game

??

Joann right

Is this just a coincidence

Lol yes

Going through receipts lol

Lololol

Gotta get my points !

Sorry I've panicking about that for like all day

For what?

You got the spa $$ right

I did!

And i am honestly speechless

Thank you infinitely

For real

It's kind if confusung but good

Ok perfect!

No one has ever been that selflessly generous to me

It's fer you babe

Get some you time

Did i tell you the one other time someone aesthetigifted me something?

No

I will tell you another time

I dont want to sully this magnificence

Ok :)

Also.... for real going to thw green bag now

Wait - do you know why i asksaid about you believing me?

It seems like a basic thing about someone that you would want to know

Well, i had that general feeling from you. It's clear when someone has the "okay but there's no way..." mentality

I usually dont believe myself. And when i recount things, it's like it's not even me saying things

The details and weird memories of insignificance come from idk where but i remember the stupidest shit sometimes

There are some pretty down to earth comments and discussions about SA on Reddit

I know there's a certain tacky element there

Those buried nontreasuretreats are a bitch

Specifically about triggers

But I've read your story a doz n times, in some sense

I do not diminish yours

Scents and sounds and things i doht even know until there's a little flip in my core

I know it's real

I've experienced intense scent triggers

Last time you wre here there were 2

Scent from what for you?

I have a lot. A lot a lot

Oh

Like being yanked across as the parking lot in an instant

Maybe that's why im a little obsessed with smelling good

And you do

I did not out that together until now

I'm not talking about a bad smell

Also my house

Same here

Most people love bonfire

Or patchouli

Or this body spray i used for our hawaii trip

Oh god

I used to be able to identify cigarette brands by scent

Some choke me worse than others but not because of any poorer quality

Anyway, scents for you?

The only one I know of that's probably still potent for me is Anne Klein. My HS/college girlfriend wore that and it was actually several years before I was actually triggered some random place. It really threw me for a loop

I'm more in control of my emotions now

And I actually like the scent. It a bit much for perfumes but it is pleasant.

null

null

Poor baby!

Why is she naked???

She was smelly lol

Um

I'm smelly too

I have tasted different to you right?

You are NOTTTTTTT

Maybe you are

Yeah

Smelly

Fuck that

Take your clothes off lol

Lololol

 ​😂​ to “ Fuck that ” 

Only if you keep me warm

Sooooonn

I hope

I am tryingggggggg to do science!

Idk what's happening, havent received an update today

What is your science

What do you need

How i taste

Oh

How many differences

Are they good or bad

It varies a bit in a narrow palate

Whoch do you like best

Which do you hate

Why do i vary

I like a pallet

Palate?

With a fuzzy blanket

Oh flavors

Nahnahnah

Spelling correction :)

Palatial

Palace

Plate

Platter

Platty

Does all of me taste the same on the same day?

You should check my sign at work

Sig

Not sign

Just saying

No

You do not

Oh i will. Is it corpcomm approved.

Taste that same now and other times no

Heheh

I changed one letter :)

Mmhmmm

Truth

I will send email forthwith if you want to inspect me

I really wish you were sucking on me right now

But the susadminds

The suckadmins

I want to try more of that please

Yeah me too honestly

Wait what??

I love sucking your girl bits

Omg!

That makes me weirdly happy

Lol

Totally true

Because?

I literally want you to come all over my face

Me too

Yay.....!

Yummmmmm

I can't wait

It just might take a long time

Yeah

Bring a sports drink lol

I might die

But I'll be fine

No worries

Why do i take so long?

We should watch this video

Lol

Yes

It's adorable and cute and informative and sexy

I think it's common

For girls

I mean look at my sorry ass

Can't come at all

Duhhhhhh

Lol

There's something you don't do that's really amazingly helpful when im getting close

Do you know?

I'm not certain! I would love to know!

You dont talk

You dont demand i finish or ruin the way my mind wanders in self exploration - i can feel all of it because im not catering to how you need me to be for you or your ego

Sorry if im getting weird, just so so yured

Maybe delusional

Ohh babe that is so yummy a detail

I do it because I want you to have what have to give you

I get so much joy

Idk how else to say it

It warms my heart to feel your body

Have a good time

Does it make sense? I want to experience you, not think about experiencing you

Ofc it makes sense!

No worries

No worries babe

You get what you want

Get it girl

Every single other partner tries to talk to the finish line

Lol

I want to

With your face, honestly

I mean I might encourage you

But I am not in any rush

I love every second

I'm down for what you need

Yes

I am so thrown

Fuck you keep making me horny today!!!

I've never s xted in a grocery store

That was hilarious and fun!

Loo

Where are my eeeees going?

Pics and all

You sexy babe

I might actually have the gumption

To bring my photog

You make me feel sexy

Stuff

Do ot

I would love that

It would be so fun with you!

You would very much need to know how to pose me and stuff

Haha that's the thing I know nothing about

So it'll be all new and learning

You have the google

You know the reddit

You can read

Your room is Soo good for this tio

Oh?

Yes, space wise

I have 2 topics for soon just fyi

All good, take it away

I asked once and idk what the answer was. Kind of a maybe but alsi got a "no thanks" vibe from you

Do you know where im going with this?

I do not, sorry

I think anal aex could be fun. I have it in my head that i know how to make it work

I dont know what your feelings are

I am a yes for it, following research and discussion and perhaps negotiation

I am willing to experiment!

Are you okay with telling me your hesitations? I'm almost positive i can calm some of them depending on what info you'd want

Yes

Yes I am cool talking through this

Does not have to be now

I've been inclined to try something anal perhaps twice, but many years ago. Like 15+

And I played with my butt off and on but rarely for a time

Never got the draw

But still intrigued

Sorry was I supposed to say more

No, but i wantes to give you the whole floor if you did have more to say

There's also an objectionable genre in porn that's all about "painal" and I just can't with that

That's a solid no for me. Hard line.

Oh - i have a weirs confession later

Kinda porn ish

So this is a confusing area, if you see.

I agree hard no to pain mosta time!

My poor bum is puckering

Lol

Sorry did I actually say that

Say what??

Nah mate

I've asked about bidet. What do you say. Bidet?

Hygiene is my primary concern

I am a small grouping who is pro bidet + soft towel/pat dry

There i answered question 1!

Thank you!

Lol drool

That's one elephant out of the herd

Mfers

Toot toot darling!

Are you aware that i was almost exclusively referring to you giving it to me?

Here comes the lioness

Wait how far back did you just jump?

Ummm

What?

What does 'it' refer to?

Omg

I want you to give me anal sex

❤️

We'll do it babe!

My size????

Was i somehow unclear in that?

Yeah that's a concern.... ive talked over some logistics with kink friends and i "know" how it should go

You really didn't "get" that when i brought it up?

Sincerely asking

I did confirm I am willing to experiment, yeah?

Yeah

I just wanted to be clear that im not putting anything in you. Ever, til you tell me you've changed your mind. And then we'll wait and see if you still want to

Is there any kind of reassurance or safeguard type logic talk you need from me rn?

Ok babe!

Honestly that's perfect

And OMG tight what?

Hahaha yes

You've had your finger there already though

Lol

Right you told me

I don't doubt it

So.... mess would not be a concern. I'd still have a towel down for copious amounts of lube but just the clear fluid qould be a concern

Make sense?

Yep!

If you need explicit tmi for how or why then you can ask and i will tell you

Np babe

You're giving me ideas even biw

Now

As I stand in the laundry area

Hey im in the kitchen!

Reading your plea for anal sex

How am i giving you ideas?

I have no idea

I think it involved skirts

"Plea"... hinestly it's because even that part of me wants you aince ive never been more acutely or cumulatively turned on in my life

It's a new button

We have to push it

Yay!

That's fucking cool

And youuuuuuu get to have it for yourself

Lay your claim

Crikey I have half a hard on waiting on the dryer

Lol

Did you almost come when i was giving you head one day?

Not too far. But not almost

Fucking wicked

??

The drugs

Fucking wicked

I have been on those drugs this entire century

Just for perspective

And kinda lots more that affect neurotransmitters and their little synapsey pathways

Oh

Yo

Ohyo

That's my entire life since adolescence

Which is my entire biological sexual maturity

That's fucked

No pun intended

Right

But, like, is it?

I think it's significant, regardless

Why

Ear-regardless, if you will

Nopenopenope

 ​😂​ to “ Nopenopenope ” 

Did you want to say more,

I'm easily amused sometimes

?

Da

That's my story you mistressness.

Your, ma'am

Which question direction now?

Oh I love your new button

I want to poke it

Thx

I hope you will

Slowwwwwwly

And nicely

How is your arm strength?

Improving, why?

Totally German in this conversation

Well one day you described a position

Which culminated

Wow that was hard

FML lol

So the kitty Kat cafe was wide open for business

Oh we did this?

And basically hanging from my shoulders like a napkin she is

Oh, youre dining in this potential

To be clear,

You described it to me

Right. I think i know

In the position, i am the sole beneficiary, right?

Requires upper body strength, I should say

Yours

And your arm?

Say non! If no!

I just didn't forget this thing you told me

I basically look like a bib on you

And you'd be eating me out, but not much pleasurw is happening to you at that time, right?

Nothing

I mean except pure joy lapping up sweet baby

Oh, okay

Lol

It's not insignificant, just saying

I do not need arm strength like you think i do for that

I just dont get it

Get some then

Mmmmmm

Wait wait wait!

What would Rebecca say?

Nvm

Yes I will most definitely enjoy eating this kitty Kat cafe and perhaps look around a bit

You should

Tours with refreshment

Love an all in one

Omg omg I can't wait

Me too

I have never asked

How do you like to find me?

Manly?

Neutral?

Weird,?

You as you

But also somewhat contextual

Weird, fun, protective in the outside world

Firm, tender, knowledgeable, loving, passionate for sex

I do like you masculine

But not macho/alpha

I dont think you could be regardless

Ok thanks

I'm comfortable in my current skin, much more so than 10 years ago

Fwiw, i have not seen you fem or neutral

Somehow, COVID era taught me idgaf

Heyyy same

Got married 9/2019

I appreciate your comments

In 2024 I really started flaunting my hair

And idgaf

As an example

I had hair longer than this

I do not know the guy in your Hub pic

Just sayin

Lol! 😂

It's true

It's terrible

Mine is awfullllll

See we share

Reverse catfish lol

Hmm

I don't have a firm grasp of contemporary sexuality groups

Ok wait

Let me break that down

I hullo babe

And hullo

2025-01-04T07:26:29

Good morning!

2025-01-04T10:27:57

null

Yah

2025-01-04T11:37:39

What's up?

2025-01-04T13:23:28

Not much, you?

Nada
Need another cup of coffee though!

Aww poor babe!

And I only have 1 coffee maker 😦

Your choice!

Want another? For real

Lol no no no
I actually have 2

Living high!

Cannabicafffeine?

null

??

I also have other solutions already prepared

For the japanart

Any chance those are brass?

Oh lol it's Chinese. I thought it might

They're canvas

Baaaaabe

Yah?

I actually feel pretty today

Yay!

Let me see!

Omg lol

null

null

I am woefully unphotogenic but i did a lonnnnnnnggg self care routine today

Aww! There's my pretty baby!!

2025-01-04T16:46:52

And the boyses have just arrived lol

Lol

Wanna go somewhere for a bit tomotrow?

Peut-etre!

Oouaiiii!!!

Where did you go today?

All over okemos. Spousal quality time. Though dome of it was separate? Lol

Still out, hopefully not too much longer

What'd you do?

Not much of anything. Research some cloud stuff. Nap with cats.

That's kinda sweet!

Alors, chez moi!

Actually had a pretty good day

Yay!

null

Nice!

Would you eat ginger this way or no

If it's not too much

I just dont like when it's overpowering heat or floral for taste

I expect it should be just enough to add a background flavor

Gotcha. You definitely would not like my tea

Different strokes.... more for you!!

I got cool stuff :)

Yeah didja?

https://www.woodtv.com/news/michigan/university-of-michigan-lab-develops-blood-test-to-identify-hpv-related-cancers/

An especially pretty lamp!

And a small cabinet thing I'm going to rip apart and upcycle

Lotsa records. They were $1 today

You get a bookshelf yet?

No not yet, and I am contemplating getting another wire shelf like the one you found for me

We ahould go get them a demain

And a corner shelf lol

Ikr

Maybe you need a baker's rack?

Actually, i have a few shelvy things hanging out here

Kinda yeah
These wire racks would be great in a bakery

Wire shelves

Do you know what a bakers rack is?

You know they have wireless shelves now too

Do they go with the bluetooth hosewater?

I think so

I have a shelf full of bakers
Am I doing this right?

Oooh not so much

null

Lovely!

That's a bakers rack

Have you not seen it here before?

I have seen it. I did not know his name. Nicely framed with cat

Aww thx

Getting cleaner!

Yes it looks very tidy and organized

That's because it's MY bev station and no one else touches it lol

Mighta got you more funs today

If you could have anything from me, tangible item or service or quality time or experiencw or anything at all, what thing(s) would you choose? Things within my reach

Hold please, fam...

Heya

So they ordered a bunch of Mediterranean

Always on my thumbs up list

You said you could balance chemical equations right

It's been a while but yeah typically

Leo says ger

What's on the terra menu? Im having aomething terra-iah tonight

Terra Terra Terra
You Terra these jeans
I Terra your wallet

Get on your Vespa
And ride

Heyyyy

The only thing we have to Terra
Is Terra itself

I. Have. A. Terra!!!!

His name is Rama

You. Are. Inebriated!

You'd like him

😂

I'm riffin dude

I can do this stone sober

Ask david

We do it often

I have no doubt

Lol

Hey, you wanna get high and fuck?

You're lick I eat late

Um oops

You're lucky I eat late

Wait what???

My legs can be open for you 24 hours a day

Am I'm dreaming?

I mean, im not alone tonight but that's absolutely what i want

I'm confused now lol

Why?

I'm overthinking lol

Please do continue!

I cant (because I'm spouse occupied here) but i want to get high

I want to have your hands and lips all over me and up in me

And i want to fuck while we're high

Then we take a break and do it more

I would actually really also like to get drunk with you

We'll make a game of it

What a perfect way to spend a day!!!

I am 100% down

I have a big box of orgasm bags I can bring!!!

Lol. Unsure why that's important

O c'mon

I was going to maybe buy you things and wrap them in ... You know

But now

Le sigh

Youve spent wayyyyyyy too much on me already

Le yawn

Non!

Drunk sex...?

It's fun!

Sometimes compulsory

Or s need that way when I was younger

???

Or used to seem that way when I was younger

I really want that

Im so much drunk fun

Yay!

I'm a happy drunk generally

I am sooooo happy when I'm drunk

And kind of floppy

Just be aware of that

And my languages mix

And i get accents

And i get impulsive sexy thoughts and crazy ideas

Oh noes

I should wear extra layers

Maybe!

It's pretty likely you'll say no to things. Like alkost 100% sure youll decline at least one thing

I think there should be a time when you dont ask me if you can fuck me

I kinda like asking

Do you know why?

Also, tjink about where we might go if you have time the weekend of the 17th. Thru that Monday, mind you. A few days or just some hours

Because it gets uou out if your head

Can i ask that you ask differently sometimes, then?

Please tell

You first

It's not the asking part that I like

I'm happy to modify it

I know you like the break but i dont really know why

Ill explain the modifying in a minute

null

Life

Uh

Wife?

I would want you to worry if i sent that message and pic to you, hence my concern

Why? What am I missing

I'm mocking the product

Got it

Sorry

No worries

Is the detail too small

For your vision

Are we talking about the photo?

Is it a phone?

I see it

It's screen protectors

Says mobile.so i went with phone

Kewl stickers in box

I have some fantastic stickers for you

And some postery decor things for your lair

But back to sexversation

Yes my maiden

Why do you ask and like asking?

Because I like your response

Yes?

Please say more

It's supposed to be your turn lol

Yours isn't finished

😊

Ok so when you answer me

Then I know you want me

Right now

And I love that

null

Make me feel like big strong guy

Lol

Ty

Ilyt

You are

Pause for spouse. Sorry

I want to hear more when i tell you im back though

How else can you tell i want you?

Well idk where ltr is so please go on

Ok

I am (slowly) learning non verbal cues. It is kind of difficult for me to register those correctly

And for the verbal cues, it depends

Direct, unambiguous statements are almost guaranteed to be understood correctly

Contextually, so may also be innuendo, flirtatiousness, flattery, etc

So are those statements ok for me to make to you? It doesn't completely kill the mood?

But all bets are off because I am just a boy

Who, at the end of the day

Just wants to please you

And if you like your girly bits licked

Which i will likely never fully understand

I totally got you covered

And if you like fucking?

Me too!

Someone got me addicted to those

BIG ol jerk lol

And if you feel slutty please don't hesitate to show me what you have in offer

I love yummy

I always feel sllutty

Chubby

Squishy

I dislike being chubby

Too bad now

Imma lick you anyway

So

That is my statement of fact

I yield to the cutey

I'm literally wet for no reason now

Jerk

Tf girl

Fruit is it?

You're so weird i love it

I have something i would like better a lot of the time

Please tell!

Face value- softening the ask is nice. Like saying "are you ready" or "what do you think, should we" or lots of other things. Say "gid i want you" and i can respond with "then please take me" or whatever. "Fuck" is sometimes bad stabby to my ears and doesn't sit great. Sometimes it's perfect for the mood.

Psych-wise, i think i know the route that takes, but does the request make sense?

null

Yes

Thank you for telling me that

I did not realize the potential for grating

But of

Ofc

Very cool stickers!

I have decided to gift you a craftsperiment of mine

Fz plz

Okay

Sadly

And with sadness

I am returning the stickers

Bc this product is not the right one for my phone

I'm curious what you make of this

Esp the French beginning at 1 minutes

https://open.spotify.com/track/42eAqvcEIBpDVShrLzSt4a?si=mWDpny5uT2OOoHQ4FaJbTQ

Did you know The Cure?

Or New Order?

And, last question, have you been to Northern Ireland?

More fun French at 3:30

Hahaha and especially 4:10

Will listen later!

Know of both

No to Northern Ireland

Did we finish that portion of sexversation? Do you want to say anything else about it?

Alas, lass, you will need to remind me

About asking and all that

Also, if i am correct, you.not only like my verbal response but you see my face change in a really good way

I dont do that conciously, it just happens

Yummy
Definitely there is more than just words

This is why

It's so important to be together

Can you please tell me what you notice besides words?

Tbh I'm intoxicated at that point no matter what

So my memory is a bit biased

Biased or gone?

It's very passionate, yet transient

Yes

Intense

Like, let's do things now

Urgent

I need that "omg i havvvvvvve to do it now" at some point

Please

I'm wish I could stay up all night for you to play

And me to play

Me too

Haha

Maybe pharmacy cuticles

Will do it

And the ographies

It will be so fun!

I want you to make me a playground

I want the same. Perhaps weirdly so

I love that we are both weird

I just love you full stop

I need a curtain

Or something

To divide this space I occupy. This subterranean room I carved out

Yeah? Awesome!

Afk for a bit

Ayobabe

Yeah 👍

Im back to being yours for a while

Okay

Hiieee

You are?

Clever!

You will have to remind me what you would like to know

Sucking on a falafel

If i am your playground, how do you want me to start?

Miss

Akshially I am playground

Ouai, une fois

And i am at some other time

?
You have traversed
A time zone
?

When it's your turn to have me as your playground to explore and jouer, what are your plans? Ideas? Depravities? How do you want me to present for you? How does this kick off?

Oh well

I may tell you

Parts

Oh, yes

You will not be surprised

I have a predeliction for your beautiful, luscious pussy

I think i would like to be pleasantly surprised by you too

But okay, you have her. What do you do?

Sorry
Falafel happens

Focus

❤️

Ok

Right now
I will only share my water with her
To make sure she's nice and hydrated

Long, languid, liquid strokes from my tongue

Sharing saliva

Mmmmmmm

A little tease maybe

Tease how?

She's so fat it's hard not to tease this little baby here

Im being so flat serious here - please explore her.

Oh I will

Don't you worry

I love it

I love her all with me

Could you please tell me different ways you do things to her and point out

Yes

There are a few delicious data points

And ways you touch her and love her and what i think of the

What are you deleting

Lol

Huh?

Nuthin

Took meds. Fleeting consciousness lol

No worries

Yes

Love you kitty cat cafe

Love her so much

Some initial observations

All of which require unfettered access ofc

Happy 00000

Anyway

0000

Oh yeah

Or 000000

Lol right
5 zero ain't nuthin

Were you going to tell me observations?

Yes

Or rather, a recommended experimental technique

Bc science ofc

I want to kmow everything you know and have observed about me

Oh

Well it's not all well thought out yet

Hmmmm

But it's yummy

What about just the oral observations?

She tastes of such delicate flavors, fleeting, and yet definitely Rebecca flavored. Absolutely delightful, need to continue

For science

Fwi RLH will make her way up here without warning at some point

Fair

Sry

Do i taste like other women?

No

No not even

Really?

You are far more cleansed

Consistently

Yes

You have little flavor

But it hits the brain lol

Hahaha

It's very good

I wish ikmew what that meant

It's impossible to compare

Do you ever want to go at her a little wilder?

Sort of!

That's kinda why I tried two fingers

But yeah, I might be going the wrong way

What would be different if i asked you to go for it right now?

Not sure I understand

Would you jam your if i was cool witn

Wait what??

😛

Yes, yes I will

Go like a watermelon eating contest kinda

Yes ssess see ssas

I really want you all over me
All over my face

:) okay

Please

Go for it

Get. In. There.

I can't wait

I am shaking again from not e ough sleep

Oh no beebee

You should sleep

I can't wait to get smothered

2025-01-05T02:06:54

Still awake, perchance?

null

null

null

2025-01-05T10:15:21

Lulz

https://open.spotify.com/track/5JiU3gLHz9AvUnrhXgOmos?si=iqLrCQHJRfqb1A8NRmmD7g

Aww ❤️

How are you? Fill me in on things!

Well my cat just puked all over the stairs landing

Other than that it's been pretty chill

Poor kidden

What went on last night/overnight?

I just did my thing, and they did theirs, and then I had a big bunch of Mediterranean goodies

And went to bed!

From where?

What do they do?

They smoked and watched Trailer Park Boys and whatnot

Ordered from Aladdin's

Is that the typical?

Yeah, pretty much

Kinda weird but ok

null

Meed squishy laptop case?

Why so weird?

Dont they just lice kinda far to do that all the time?

*live

Also, coulf be weird just to me because i dont drive and have a verrrrrrry different parental relationship no matter which parent

Fair. They're basically teenagers

But they smoke with you?

Not with me
With their mom

Is that strange?

Somewhat

What do they call you, in general?

By name generally
But they refer to me as their dad to others

So "andy"?

Did you ever have the name conversation? I know they've known you since before they've formed memories

What name conversation?

The one where they ask or you tell them what to call you

It would have typically happened between you and them or you & rlh. Or been ultra organic without saying anything, like they just start saying things like "hey dad can i have more milk" or "can i use the car again, andy?"

Am i putting you in a bad mood?

Not at all. This is intriguing

I Don't think we followed these conventions

Linguist brain takes over a lot lol

You are also not comventional

Narayan was 1.8 when I came around so he was the most pliable

You alllllll lived together, so there needed to be a distinction

1.8 or 1y8m?

I think he and mom worked out "daddy Andy" as a call sign

1y10m

But that changed over time

I think RLH still refers to me that way but only where the disambiguation is needed, which isn't often

Ah. I used.to say "auntie mommy" amd "uncle daddy" because that's the closeness my mom's sister and her husband had

He was my brother's primary actual male role model (the good kind)

Yes, they're the assault cousin's parents

How's that for another plot twist? Ha.

This was until afyer tne arrest too, when no one told me anything was happening familially bc o wad.away at school - WHERE THEY STILL VOLUNTARILY VISITED ME

But yes, also aftet my uncle tried to use his motorcycle club "pals" to take care "off" my brother

Not a typo, winknod

Oh my

null

Heyyy!

We can wait lol

That's my cutie!

Awwww

I do feel cute again

Yay!

You look swell!

null

Awwws

You headed anywhere today?

Dunno
Haven't thought what I ought to do

Rightright

You need anything from anywhere?

Can you get me next week off?

Please?

This week? Or next?

I know people lol

Both

Sure 🙂

We should go buy stuff. And drink coffee

And make out

If i wanted to juat make out for a long time sometime, could we?

Yeah

But there's a good chance I'd get really gropey

Im okay witn that

I welcome it

Making out and foreplay without actual sex (more like until) is my favorite thing to do. It's so enjoyable. Kissing my neck and back and shoulders can be making out ;)

Oh yummm

I'm actually begging for this

Please kiss me all over, more and more and more. All over.

Im a great return on investment with noises alone

The back of my neck.... I'm pretty sure I'll literally scream with pleasure if you do it right

Oh I can't wait!

Im sorry im so selfish

You're a doll

No one has ever been willing to indulge these yet ao i am taking all the joy

As you should!

Thank you

Remember last time?

Which part

Well now i want to know what you remember

I remember you getting ready to lose your legs in the kitchen

Basically when you first got here?

Shortly before we went upstairs

I would love to hear more on this

When I decided I would kiss you in the kitchen

And we got into it a bit

And you were getting kinda wobbly legged lol

Tell me your feelings from then

I wanted you
You felt so good next to me
And you smell good

You keep saying that

You can tell me you want me

Low voiced and in my ear and sexylike

Yumm!

Exactly the voice you use when you ask if you can fuck me

Ohhh
I wish I could have you all the time

I do too

Kinda brings me to a new point

If you have an Arkansas breather, where could-would you go for overnight?

I ask because i have a very plausible 2 weekends coming up during which i could spend a night or 2 away but close yet far. Within an hour, hour and a half of here. You could keep cats alive and keep me entertained, if that interests you

I know you dont have an answer but i need to start dropping seeds for where my next book retreat may be in a couple weekends

I could would just need to be kinda close bc cats, that's my only restriction

I know 🔮

By kinda close I mean 30 minutes tops

Ok ok

Hmm

But there are a lot of possibilities in that range lol

Yes, but it has to plausible for me too

Do you need to actually go somewhere distant?

If i want to do something overnight then that's likely, but i may have another trick up my sleeve

Can i have some city names of the farhest you could go?

I wish i knew if i should go out today (different subject)

Hmm let me think for a sec

I guess it's nbd

Nahnahnah

I just have to think it out a little more

It were talking two nights, I will need to check in at home between

Right

But I mean, GR isn't that far for example

That's why i thought an hour might be okay

If we didn't have a 19 yo lady this would be easier

Honestly wven liie clare or something mundane is fine

Ah. True.

Sure, Clare, mt p , Flint lol, Marshall,

Right

Paragons of intellectual gatherings

Help me understand why you would actually have to go somewhere?

Well, i have a group that does quarterly-ish book things in towns where there's anout equal reading, relaxing, and stuff to do. I expect to have the next next 2 weekends (18 and 25 or whatever) with SIL here but if you can go somewhere then i can too

Plausibility of needing to go somewhere overnight when i already have a bed kinda thing

Does thzt make more sense?

Sort of
All good

Cool

I would need a reason to be gone overnight

Yep

But just an afternoon-evening is fine to be completely local

Right right
I'd sure love to spend a night or many with you

And days tio

Too

Right! Hemce a weekend not here but not far and not suspicious

I think GR. What do you think?
Also, I need to get confirmation of this pilgrimmage

Maybe?

Idk. I'll at least drop seeds

Always able to "not do it because too many girls in the group are sick"

Right on

What did you decide on doing today?

Oh, did i show you this?

null

I saw that pic of Orion :)

And I've not decided anything lol

And now there is a cat upon me

Lol

Apparently it's his nap time

My mum took that pic last night

Iz ulwaze catnaptime

Wow!

At her house up north

Absolute darkness

Makes a lot more sense now
I thought that might not be possible in Brighton

Her address is (i thimk)

3739 s us 23
Greenbush, MI 48738

If you want the google

There is indeed a green bush there

Sounds diseased

I mean who hasn't had a touch of green bush?

I have not

Something you need to say? Lol

Wanna dicker & deal?

I'm actually seriously thinking of the frandor today

Depends on if i locate my wallet lol

How much should wood filler good stuff cost?

Can i use the same thing on a white slab thing? The top of my ikea table, for reference

Hmm. Under 10 I would guess

I think it would be fine for filling divots in Ikea stuff

It's not ecen really mdf.... it's heavy. Idk what else i might fill it with. It's white but i have paint lol

Mostly for silly functionality- like, if i write, i cant be stabbing into a divot

If i go, would you like to join me?

Yeah... I don't think I can though

That's implied when i ask lol

I know :(

Sorry, love

You working every day this week?

Yeah

Aby freevenings?

I have no idea honestly

Okay no worries

Just trying to be nice to you

Ok thank you :)

Wanna sort some papers for me? Maybe clean some?

I know! Price comparison spreadsheet!

null

Papers or peas? Heh

I could send them in a pdf.....

Will you be okay if i leave my phone alone for a while?

Yeah it's ok babe

I might snooze anyway

I'd be happy to give you tasks if you need them

Yeah send one over!

One of what?

A task?

Job. Me. New.

Ah, right

Or just find me a pile of money

I'm a relatively attractive cisfemale with a lot of skills and not many moral objections. Make it work

Lol works for me

I am serious. I think you know that but dont realize it

On it!

I knew i liked you!

Side note: i made you a very silly experimentcraft

I hope you dont hate it

Lol ok

https://g.co/kgs/UVcxQwi

That's way too good to be true

So thanks! I'll work that out when i clean more of this place :)

I can't wait to ajow you my kinda collection of kid & Broadway records one of these days

null

New acqs

That's a nice one!

null

null

Is that the lamp you were pining for?

Yes

$10!

You'd love my MIL

Actually serious

I never in my life expected thst sentence

Speaking of in laws.... may i?

Lol I don't doubt it

Yes go ahead please

You tell me your thought or impression here

null

Um, Botox?

For Migraines is their nonsense logic. Been that way for years. No, it does not appear to help IMO

Anything else?

BMI wow, I guess
BP looks great considering "intractable migraine", but what do I know. How does one arrive at this diagnosis in a non-verbal patient?

But wait, there's more!

Yeah though, you saw the bmi like i did

Do you know what i weigh and how tall i am?

You weigh the same as me and you're a little shorter

That's outdated info lol

Anyway, between 160 and 170. And between 5'4" and 5'5"

Ok

Just for comparison to the info on that paper

Besides that....

null

null

null

These are highlights, btw

null

null

Also does mot have her full med list in their system

So that was kinda interesting to me

Probably too long for Epic

Idk... u of all MY stuff

(The correft answer is "lies". Would also accept "deceit")

Really?
For what purpose?

I cant really sum it up

Munchausen by proxy, keeping her sedate, control, extra meds, extra state assistance, habit... those are a few ideas

Hmm

Eww

Exactly

But why incomplete records though. Does that somehow help

U of m is not their primary

They go to either spectrum GR or little one off sox offices

*doc offices

I see
But EMR can be shared?

Isn't that a thing?

She's so far gone no one cares

And they have to release them

Nuts

Plus only some med.records are electronic. If there was a dx before a certain time then it's taken at face value

True

And I know it's shitty

But it would be worse for her in a nursing home right?

There's so much more I'll tell you in actual chatting. Too much to type

Ah. Asst living... One sec

I disagree

She was never, ever socialized one bit. She qiuld have and could have had a chance in a different setting or a day program or fucking elementary school

I have a cousin 6 months younger who had down syndrome so i know what potential there is. The "care" that SIL has gotten infuriates me

I'll have to tell you blood sugar, snack, dinner, blahblahblah stories

And i call them out on bullshit with actual science plus real experience and throw in the bible

Better believe i can make it work together

But I'm a witch, so there's that

Lord

They took her out of school midway through kindergarten or first grade. Had the Sp Ed teavher come to the house once a week for a while (even up through when i came into the picture) and then they stopped (Sp Ed teacher and i talked a lot and git along great. Imagine that...)

Then they said "the district didnt have money for any special ed anymore" (very obvious flat out lie) so that was that

Right
They probably did lose funding though. That happened in Haslett

I know theirs was s lie, regardless

null

No doubts
I'm sorry you have gross people like that in your life

I have mostly goofballs and entitled whatsits

They get so much worse

My MO is to educate, then kill with kindness

Good

Entitled how?

I feel entitled around you

Idk if that makes sense

Willful ignorance is the disease of the century

Not even COVID

And affluenzas

Lol

Yes

I'm just saying RLH needs to calm down sometimes. We all know that

I actually dont know that from more than like 1 angle

I do commisserate though

They have never had internet

So anything she wants goes through L. On my amazon acct

She's also a tit for tat person in one direction only

As in, L can "take care of" whatever she needs but i have seen her tell him in all seriousness that he owes her $1.06 for a McD drink

She wanted a $19.98 dvd from somewhere? Better believe her check is for $19.98. Would never just give $20 cash

Who is she here?

Surely not Desiree

His mother

She had a twin

They haven't spoken since their mom's funeral 5.25 years ago

Stacey & Tracey

What would you say the ultimate, best career for me would be?

Realistic ir not

I'm not sure yet

Do you fancy editing/writing?

Creative vs production-oriented

Techy or not so much?

I suck at tech

But i am really resourceful

It's probably my greatest asset. One of, at least

This doesnt need to lead to anything. Just fun chattering

Any causes you want to work for?

Desk or active?

Nothing ultra strenuous because some things are out of my control with physical limitations

I do need to save the world

My sister does copyediting for a company that makes software manuals, last I knew

Any interest? I can ask how she found her way there

Actually yeah

Byt i am no4 going to AZ forever

It's totally remote
I think the company is in Virginia or some such

She may be an independent contractor

I'm not sure

I need alllllllll the leads :)

I would always much rather just have a pile of work given to me, i get it done before the deadline, everyone's happy

Or i get to have more free license to do whatever

I have ideas of what would be ideal

Can you come glue stuff for me plz?

https://g.co/kgs/M8CwcZS

Lol I read as
Come glue me

Thank you!

Well i mean yes....

Yes

Yes to all! Lol

But also literally glue things

Too hard for me to see

Whar kind of glue volume do you usually have?

Are we being euphemistic at all?

Now we are

I want to answer factually, but I'm not sure what I'm admitting to bow

Now

How much do you think an average-ish emission of ejaculate do you produce?

Better?

You made me do this! Lol

Lol

I don't measure it

I can tell you this

One Kleenex brand tissue is the typical volume of tissue necessary to clean it up. But sometimes it takes more

Hmm

Thanks

Have you ever seen yourself spull out of someone?

Not really

Interested?

Oh yes, very much
I might play with you so I can watch

I dont understand?

When I manage to come in you again, Id like to stick my face down there so I can watch you leak out of me

Wait

My pronouns are all twisted lol!

Wtf

Lol

I know that much... i dont know how you playing with me helps you watch... ?

Idk, maybe poke around with a finger or something

Or just schmear things around

Maybe lick you clean

I understand better now thanks

You should

I told you I'd snowblow if you wanna try

If you want to film it, we can negotiate that

Right on!

Is it a double if I lick it out of you first?

Is it a double what?

Snowblow

https://g.co/kgs/dtNGLmU

These don't all look great, but I'd say worth an interview if at all interested

I was under the impression that that's the basic starting point is you licking it out of me

For sure, thank you!

Can't i just wear sexy panties and you sell them and we split profits ?

Idk, never snowballed myself. Goog suggests a blowjob was the starting point

Um, yes

Get on that

10000000%

You be the logistics and I'll wear and mail them

Nice!

Do I get to be the product photographer too?

I say this with so much love for you...

You can do whatever you like with me

Aww!

I actually want you to

I want you to be more ... assertive-experimental with how I'm positioned and what you want. I know you want more than you've had

If we can get a night or two, I'd bring my real camera :)

What about just for pleasure for you? How else would you want me?

Would like to try random furniture

Couch, counters, tables

Have you before?

I think i should share a link with you. You must agree to provide constructive feedback

Ok
I've very little experience with furniture

Tell me!

It's been since hs gf

We fucked on the couch a couple times

Missionary ish?

Actually her on top I think

Has anyone ever sat on your face?

Not as such. I usually find a way to get where I wanna be anyway

So that is not of interest to you?

Sorry that was confusing

Yes it's a huge interest
69 with girl on top is a very close substitute

But I also want her to face the other way sometimes

Oh? Porque?

Different perspectives, different angles

Have you done that with me?

And a different task for my tongue

69 we did once or twice yeah?

I think twice

I remember one "date"

I meant have you faced me the other way

I don't think so

Me either

I'm very intrigued

See
One way I'm licking down your pussy, the other way up

I think i need to try that

Like NOE

*NOWWWWWW

Yay!!!

And you can control the grind

Pressure

Sppeed

Angles

Yeah i already decided i want to fuck the life out of your face

I just dont really know how

Yessssss

Or how to not alarm you doing that

Are you ok using your right arm for basic support? Like just to maintain a down dog sort of posture?

Yeah

I can always "lazy dog" it

Bc I can just wiggle upside down and behind you on my back and

You might like lazy dog better

Voila
As they say

Wanna see something?

Needs feedback

Sure!

https://sexinfo101.com/

Wowser!

Well that looks fun

I dont think you looked het

*yet

Mais non! I've been studying the car sex recommendations

I really like the brief reviews from his and her pov

Where might one or two engage in such sextivities?

I thought you knew lol
I also thought I knew, but I believe we should get out of town

I definitely know some out of the way places

How, where, amd why please :)

Years of going to rose lake for picnics and such

https://maps.app.goo.gl/1YnG5LfYF9SgaQt28

Here's one :)

Have you carfucked before?

https://maps.app.goo.gl/GHj7eJfrBzXGkABd8

No but I fell through the ice here

That was messed up

Omg! Do you want to tell me?

RLH and I were having a winter walk (Feb or March I think) and I (a) stupidly went out on the ice and (b) was kinda kicking at it and down I went lol

My arms immediately went up and out

Wowza

In a full winter coat mind you

So I kinda broke my fall

And I remembered you have to try to get flat

To get back on the ice

And that worked after a forever long 20 seconds

Eeessh

Hypothermic?

Have you ever been?

I have

Idk if I did? I do know it was about 15 walk from the car

15 minutes

I could not operate my digits to remove clothig

But we stripped me, wrapped me ina blanket, and ran the car nice and warm

Eventually had a beer, then went home lol

That was many cars ago. Had to be 1992 or 1993

Were you married?

Idk either just before or just after we got married

How many people attended your eventM

?

Around 70 I think

Thanks

Do you have a short list of the porn we'll eventually watch?

Just curious

Actually yes, but it's old and probably needs to be revised

Why?

Because I found things that should take precedent

What led to your decisions? Which criteria factored in?

Like what should take precedent?

What did you exclude, if anything?

Side note that i have weird realizations to share at some point

Idk, you asked me to share what I liked, so I started there

But since then I got the Lust subscription and haven't updated any lists

Ah

Do you watch the same one more than once?

I'm sure I do, but it's a pretty decent while between

Do you have a favorite part of the videos to watch?

Kinda depends on what sort of mood I'm in and what's happening

So you watch different kinds?

I'm way too innocent here to comprehend, lol

Heh

Well see, when the cameraman wants to stick his lens in the girl's camera bag

And she has a nice spot all ready

You can't euphemize this

I just did lol

I literally have no base kmoedge

And apparently no skinny thumbs

Lol

This is like any other video sharing medium

You have your highly polished, well - produced items

And your step down creatives with smaller , uh , budgets

And your means well but I only have a phones

And your total shite that may or may not be sexy at all

So it's all over the place

I prefer a little realism at least in terms of the sex. The situations can be whatever

And you can imagine the range of people making this stuff

Pimps and prostitutes, sleazy drug dealers, soccer moms, teenagers...

And big houses trying to look legitimate

I have the dunbest question

In porn, are the people actually engaging in coitus? Like, not camera tricks??

It's real

I suppose some could be tricks, but they probably don't get views

Oh

Wow

Right
Possibly filmed from breast height

Or bellybutton

A couple weeks ago you asked if i thought i was pregnant because of amenorrhea. Was that a genuine concern? What did you think?

Sorry I had to look up that question

It was an honest question. You brought up the word (although I had to look it up because French), and sometimes I think you want to lead me to conclusions, so I asked.

I suppose so

Recall thinking or wondering anything?

A slight panic

Because?

You might be pregnant?

There could be 2 conclusions to that

1. It was you
2. I was sleeping with more than you

My guess is that you thought both, leaned more toward the latter

But please tell me everything you're comfortable with

It didn't make a difference how honestly.

I'm not sure what to say

You know I believed I ruled out offspring years ago

I did that for the reason that I want none

You don't have to say anything, these are just things i think

Yes i know that

The reasoning... i still dont think i know

There's something weird going on upstairs in case if I have to go silent

As in i dont really know why you want none

Go check?

Nah, it just talking but seems like an unfamiliar voice and cadence

Weird

Anyhoo

I do not wish to (re)start being a parent, ever

Just no

I'm too selfish

And I enjoy my peace

You made that decision several decades ago though

Yes I did

Same reasons?

Lol the whole troupe of them just came down here, all three of them chattering, turned off the lights and showed me the piece of cadmium glass that arrived

😐

Cadmium??

I guess

She's been nonstop searching for glass since Christmas

It glows orange

null

Click it

Imma propose a toast brb

Good idea

A votre... Sante!
Yeah that's it!

Slainte!

Prost!

I wouldn't but lulz

Yeah cadmium is not people friendly

Hence my questioning

Yeah I feed cadmium batteries to kids

That's how much I loathe them .. the batteries that is

Lithium is so much better

So you wondered why my decision?

Scroll to "sources"

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cadmium_poisoning

And yes

Why your decision

And how long did you have that in your mind

Lol Miley fucking Cyrus was trying to kill people lolol!

I feel like someone in your household smokes on occasion??

Not ecigs though

But yeah

And I smoked plenty

Back to the real questions

I have plenty

Sorry I just dumped ipa all over my clothes and seat blanket. Had to make a quick change and visit the washer!

My decision

A few factors

She had been on hormonal bc for years (like 12 or 15), and I never wanted kids of my own, having just raised 2 from 1 and 6 to 15 and 20.

Easy decision

My thoughts about parenthood had been on my mind most of that time

My thoughts about getting a vasectomy lasted a matter of weeks before I could get an approval

Appointment I mean

Just as well I had to change my undies because of you anyway 😌

Pshtttt

Sorry, fell to the sleep

null

Comme ca

Aww

Righr

Now tell me what you think about me as a parent

Are you going to be my mommie?

Pweeeeeeeeze

Wow just had a surprise emotional trigger from an old song. I wasn't expecting that!

null

Triste

null

In a bad way, unfortunately

I listed several possible factors that might explain why this happened

It definitely was not expected, but it's also entirely possible I was licking my own balls

That's how it is in the industry, you know

Anyway, this fish comes up to me like "hey, did you really expect me to talk?"

Yeah

So

Right

Heyyy:)

Would you add anything?

One moment

null

Salination?

Go on

Do your worst

Salinity

Cutesy treasure chest

It was not so much saline

Atlantian ruins

As intentionally hard

And alkaline

And too much really

And I grew my crop

Seeded my future

In that harsh environment

And then the water changed

And I guess it was hard on my herd of bacteria

Which is not a good thing, because they were the good guys

I'm guessing fish keeping isn't recommended for transplant patients?

Oh you need bacteria?

It's thick in biology

I do not know

Most pets are discouraged for a while

Makes s nse

F
Where are my es going

It's all microbial soup

As a person who worked in the micro lab
One definitely grows to appreciate the awesomeness that is the immunological function

I definitely have a better appreciation for microbes for having worked there

Very cool

Yeah.... afg does not understand this but whatevs

Sorry for tangent

Maybe preuss could help?

You are sweet!
I found very good reasons for my issue. Glad I'm doing this slowly!

Why you say I'm sweet? Is thst s diabetes joke? Lol

Not even

Geez

I had to make a quick transition from bottom level to top level, preparing snack along the way

So how are you

Pretty good

A few Sunday scaries but not too too terrible

Bummed i napped out for a while

Aww

Why?

Less productivity

How are you?

Good , good

Finally accepting I have to work tomorrow lol

Still waiting for a valid response too

Yeah, same about work for me

What did you mean there valid response?

Trying to figure out how to not crash once i get home

I asked you a question from which you quickly pivoted after some joshing

Please don't make me search for it

Me as a mum?

I asked you a question in response

😐

Ok ok

I believe you would be a good mother. I think you care more about your SIL than her own family, you have a protective instinct, you are well educated and very intelligent, and also very resourceful

You know you don't have to say that, right?

I thought you were offended or expecting a real answer

A lot goes unspoken

I'm this medium

In lol

Have I created a problem?

Thanks

Honestly i was a little bit hoping youd say it

No, no problem

Parenthood was never on my radar. Like, even really little

Hoping which part?

The best way i can term it is that i dont know how a good mom is supposed to be so i couldnt emulate it or do the complete opposite of what mine did because sometimes she did/does try

Ajhhhhh
I see , I do

Yeah babe I think you have tons of nurturing instinct, to a fault perhaps.

I've been told I would be a good father

Ive been told all over the spectrum

But that's a thing I haven't really chosen this time around

Chosen?

Chosen to have offspring

See it's such a given isn't it?

But no

Actually no, it's not

Nobody cares

I'm fine like this

Whatcha thinkin?

null

Yes. I know very well. I am the only cousin either side who doesnt have kids. When my brother died it eas kind of an "oh shit" because everyone realized our sibling pairing ended the direct offspring line for us, our parents

Im thinking.... work :(

I did not get done what i wanted

The male side

My sister has two kids, and they are awesome

The make side...?

She also kept her maiden name lol

Right. My brother and i are the only sibling group without kids, either side of the fam

Right, I see

Yes

It turns out child sa is not a good strategy to continue the gene line

Darwin

The only others without kids either died (though she miscarried once) or the other and other side onr has down syndrome

Every other one of dozens has a kid

Not this one

In myyyyyy lineage

Please tell me we're on the same side of this debate

I think so?

Not debating anything

Emm

Can i

Just

Just very telling that i have always been the no kid mindset out of everyone in that dna pool

Can you just...? Finish that please

I think this is a generational trend also

And honestly not surprising

Kind of but all my cousins are my generation

There will always be local variances in the weather too

Neither parent, grandparent, or aunt/uncle (probably cousins too) ever asked when or if i was having kids

Which is a very normal thing for them to ask

Just feels quizzical

Perhaps

My closet cousin, Abby, just had her first two since COVID, and she is now pushing 50

40

Sorry 40

She is my age

Yeah

And stepkid 2

Hmm?

Your 2nd stepkid. Same age. Maybe 1st one?

Oh, yes. Correct

Nitya

Yes

Sidebar- i look cute for just seeing myself after all day plus a nap

null

Aww I love you sweet babe

I hope I'm not being a PITA

Why would you be being?

Idk I just feel like I am

I'm prolly just tired
And jealous of your pillow

Well shoot

I would

If I could

Here i am wishing i was your pillow

Someone call MC Escher

Impressive!

Oh i have a fun-ish question

Girl me and MC go way back don't even

You may not love classical compositions but you're familiar wjth a decent amount, right?

I'm ok with classical. I love some classical. Just keep me away from bway plz

Haha okay

My wondering is what you think some of my fave classical pieces are or which might spring to mind with the essence of me

My favorite Christmas music
https://open.spotify.com/album/04EcpG3qd3bhmugVCsUvPg?si=8q5GvECkTLeKia1UIaF3xw

Well I'll just start here lol

Are you serious?

I owe this particular joy to my mother

Is it so strange?

Now I regret not pulling it up last month

I like them!

Do any non holiday ones stand out as Rebecca-esque to you? Totes fine if now. I have a few faves, jsyk

I do not know for sure, but I would guess East European and Russian composers

You don't seem like the Beethoven type

Tchaikovsky for The Nutcracker and Swan Lake (which i saw from the first row of the musorgsky theater in moscow, tyvm), the sleeping beauty is okay but not my fave. Carnival des animaux by saint-saens, peter & the wolf by britten, rhapsody in blue

Those usually top my list

Wonderful selections!

Thanks! 🙂

Classical was what was on in my house much of the time as a kid

I keep a running lost of things ive seen lice. Did you know that?

I had a lotttttt of AM radio lol

I got to know a few things, but did not always know names

University's public radio here

Ah. Well, 8th grade was my last required lit & comp class (forever, really) and once i tested out i could take whatever English-counting credits i wanted. Humanties counted so i maxed that out - 1 semester of art and 1 of music. Both were taught collegiately at my high school but i just liked them. Didnt care about credits then because i planned on going to culinary school nit "real college" (if i even loved that long, but that's a different story branch)

I did not know there was such a thing as npr until i was a senior. 2 extremely republican parents, politically involved and offical, in brighton

Why would i? Lol

Poor baby!

I'm sorry I need to sleep now babes!

Good night

I'm thinking about you

I love you

I can't wait to see you again

I love you too

And same

Chat in the AM!

Ok xoxox

null

2025-01-06T06:58:39

GM workin babe!

Hey, you too

How are you?

Oh I'm fine
My step son has been up all night drinking it seems.

Is he okay? All senses

Probably not

Do you need to intervene? How can i help?

What happened?

Just speaking from experience. Hell either pass out, or break something and pass out.

Why did he get this way though?

Who knows

Does he need to vomit?

This is such an old story here

I thought we were done, but apparently not

I know this story from my own life really well, ao please excuse the auto-crisis-mitigate mode

It's ok

I have 4 years of being an RA plus a lifetime of ultra high functional alcoholic live in brother going at this

"Done with this" means what?

Done having up all night drunk step son in the house

And he is drunk for no apparent reason? And drunk by himself?

Yeah. He and his mom were both up late. I think she came to bed around 430

With you?

Yeah

Are you okay?

Yeah yeah, I'm fine

Okay, good

Not enthused, but fine

I'm sorry

Other stepson?

Sleeping

What did he do last night?

No idea. Probably not much. He doesn't drink like Nitya

There were all babbling on the back porch when I went to bed

Like they do

It is freezing

Oh?

Cold in the office?

Well yes, but i kinda lost more weight so that's a factor and new blood flow and so is outside

But so would the back porch be, no?

It's got heat

Righr

I meet with kirby this afternoon. Advice & ideas welcome

Any AR news?

I haven't talked to anyone since the cadmium invasion lol

Still very odd

Gotta hop in the shower, back soon

Good luck

Thx :)

2025-01-06T09:08:58

Live through it?

Lol the shower? Yeah

I think the beast passed out on the porch lol

Are you going to ask him about it later?

Probably not

What do reckon I should ask?

Idk

If he's got emotional turmoil going on?

What's his drink od choice?

I am so effing cold

Aww do you have blankets?

No

And i am already in my coat

null

Heyyyy :)

You could put some flavor in warm water from the coffee maker

Sipping warm water good for you!

I have warm bevs. Not helping

Why the lelephant?

Let's just say the annual review and PIP are completely incongruous. Isn't the dissonance like an elephant in the room?

Ah. Yes. I 10000% agree. When i get back from making my sodium noodles I'll show you another thing

Just wanted to make sure i wasnt missing the imbalance of feedback

Not to mention i am the loss sensitive sme and keep getting consulted by no less than 5 people on a daily-ish basis about what happens with this that and the other

Capacity for you anytime tomorrow or Wednesday? Real world for the most part but happy to host you weds for lunch or something

Not sure yet. I will keep my eyes open!

Okay!

I think i might explore :)

What's your fave kind bar? The same as mine?

Geez I don't go to many bars so IDK

Ummmmm

Not the question

I also do not frequent bars

Oops lol

Choc almond sea salt!

Ugch wrong answer but ok

Clif bars?

Nature valley?

Quaker Chewy?

Oh lol!

I haven't had those kinds

No no im just saying choc cherry is best

Not in decades

Mercy lol

I like nature vallet esp because i can grab a packet, smash it to bits, then pour it into my yogurt

So that's what those are good for... I always felt like I was breaking teeth on those when I was a kid

Same lol

This was my solution

Or milk, like cereal bits

Or soften bur have a little crunch for oatmeal

How's it going?

Ok
I'll be talking to th wife when she wakes up

Oh. Okay.

Should i ask?

About her kids and why they are here

Kirby had to leave so i have textable freedom

Right

Yay!

Do you think they perhaps no.longer have a dwelling?

No, I think perhaps this is convenient for them

Not my problem

Except when it is, you know?

Convenient.... use your words to say more

I have an interesting observation for you later

It's convenient to have a stocked pantry and freezer
It's convenient to have running water
It's convenient to do laundry
It's convenient to have a warm living room where interwebs and television are free
Etc

Sorry guys your not 20 any more

I understand

I mean, i have a whole ass mortgage and a car and a wall o degrees and 4 pets and a garage and manage my own medical records and call tje dentist for my spouse and plan funerals when necessary and....

I'm also younger than one of them

I also meal prep

And pay consumers

And renew my vehicle tags

Did i mention i am seriously incapacitated a good but of the time, have random organs that work or dont, literally and legally blind, amputations, a major surgery here and therw, tiny bits o traumases....

Yeah
This is painfully obvious to me

Speaking of painful

https://open.spotify.com/track/32fSZSbxeVoiZShMQKLc6Z?si=7YancSVdRyC5oT6tbmZK_g

Not tswift

https://youtu.be/b1kbLwvqugk?si=IXWiEXwCFnmxWlPg

Yes tswift

Que tal?

Has she awakened yetM

?

Yeah a couple hours ago
I have not been able to catch up yet

What's she doing?

Kids still there?

Do they have just the 1 car between them?

Do they work?

Were you the one who taught them to drive?

Separated for your convenience of response enumeration

Idk

Yes

The kids have one car. Nitya lost his license ages ago (wanna guess why??)

No

No

I am now offline! Woo!

Tell me why the lost license plz

I have a handful of guesses

OWI

Spent time in jail

Paid $$

You did

Im guessing?

Finally left my cell

I mean office

How much jailtime?

Impaired how?

Type of machinery?

Sorry I'm curious

Not sure, maybe a month?

Drunk driving (a car)

I see

Well, how are things there?

Calm atm

Quiet

What has transpired?

Nitya is sleeping in the living room. RLH and Nara have been on porch since mid afternoon

I am keeping to myself

Im sorry babe

Thanks

Wanna tell me more?

It's just goofy lol

I was just thinking of following up

Nothing more to tell really

Questions?

"Goofy" is a stange term to use. Why choose that one?

I want to know what you call it ha ha! 😋

I still don't know or understand the dynamic

That's fair

Would you like a task?

Also... peep the undereyes here

null

null

I'm sorry babe I have to drop everything for these warts

Brb lol

Anyhoo

It occurs to me that RLH and Nara are avoiding him moreso than me. They don't want to deal with it either, and they don't have the option of disappearing

Why does he drink more than the other?

Who knows

Nitya has been prone to these deep benders

Idk how long since I've witnessed it

But I've witnessed it several times

Some involved him breaking (outside) furniture by falling on it, or police

Or primal yells in the back yard at wee hours

That was irritating

What do they do? I dont know how else to phrase that. Like, in life

Suck the fat titty of welfare and sell plasma

And idk because that doesnt seem like even enough , but here we are

Im sorry if i sound judgy. I just dont get it

C'est la I suppose. What questions can I answer?

Do they have diplomas?

Hs

Well 1 hs, 1 ged

What did they do after?

Lots of restaurant jobs, kitchen, cooking and washing dishes

Was there not a plan? Like.... what did rlh say to them or anything?

Nope. The plan ended at graduation

Oh

And I had gone silent on such things many years prior

She did not take kindly to my criticism

I understand. From your pov. The silence and the criticism

We are soooo the same

Ah yes! Glad you caught that

Hahahaaaaaa

But to whcih situation am i referring?

I was thinking Desiree

That

And my brother

Oof, right

He did not graduate on time

Lotsa substances

Lotsa jobs

No college

Jail

How do we do it babe???

Me? A ni e strong sense of self loathing and inconceivable pain

How bout you?

Idk
Help me puzzle this out, if you please

I've often been characterized as "patient", which is a trait all the guys in my dad's family share in several generations

And I agree with that to a point I guess, fair enough

Ok

Tolerant is another word I would use

And up to that I can't be bothered. And by that I mean

Don't want to open myself up to drama

Right

And I'm willing to do a lot of introverted and reclusive things to keep that separation

I see that

I'm sure there's a cynical take on my position

Coward

I dont allow you to use that word

Well then

I'm at my limit of self analysis anyway lol

I would much rather you call me a whore or frequent the use of the term cunt that call yourself that ever again

Analyze me babe

I can't analysis more now

Okay

Do you need a phone break?

Yeah, maybe just let me get a couple things around

?

Yeah of course

I might actually like to deep chat more later

No worries if you can't compress more today though

All good! I'm thinking I will be about 30 minutes

With all the best laid plans

You do you

Get some food

I might like to talk about me and some stuff. Per usual, obv.

Really hate what myself is doing to me rn. But you go for a break!

Ok!

2025-01-06T20:36:14

Helloooo

Heyyÿyya

:)

What's up?

Laying in bed, digesting

Lentil soup, handful of green olives, saltines

How very earthtoned

Right?
Straight outta the dirt

Heya

Hii

Sorry, had some weirdness with myself going on

Well. Tell your self to stop it!

Are you ok?

I am now i think. Actually it was kinda nice. Thought of you during it all

Oh tell me!

I like nice on you

Idk what that means but thanks :)

I thought i was nice. Am nice

❤️

Anyway, i was kinda high and its the state i want for you to be with me innnnnnnnntinately and all

Calm and happy and not in pain and a little swirly and my head was pretty clear and i wanted you sososososo badly

But then i felt like things were too good and i realized i couldn't really move or yell or any of that and real life set me back

But am OK

I want that feeling, though

Kinda trippy huh?

Yeah. You're familiar?

Sort of

I am still kinda waking up so i dojt understand sarcasm atm

No sarcasm here babe
It's hard to tell, but sounds kinda familiar, like slipping into a lucid dream state

I have those. And sleep paralysis. Theyre terrible

But this was also kind of legit high

Sounds like you enjoyed it but wanted company

Very much

Specifically you though

I would love to be with you through that

Yes

I'll take good care of you

Apparently i know how to make it happen

Oh

I think you mean that so sweetly

Ofc

And that is what i wanted

Absolutely!

And in my perfect world we'd be making love right now

Ah yes we would

My thoughts exactly

And it would be the time the caring culminates and i understand and then i weep

That is what i want

Awws!

I will hold you

It's ok

I was really close to that last time

Well don't hold it back
I want to be there for you

I really do want that

I crave the catharsis

Yes

It helps

You know this how?

Random moments of catharsis

Pause plz

Mmk

:)

Did anything happen today?

No
I've literally not had contact with anyone

Lol

How do you feel about it?

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0DL6SSHRN?tag=bfemmalord-20&ascsubtag=7799912%2C23%2C29%2Cm%2C0%2C0%2C0%2C900%3A2%3B974%3A2%3B1125%3A1%3B1338%3A1%2C0%2C0%2C0&_encoding=UTF8&th=1&btn_ref=srctok-a1fa91434659f2a7&psc=1

I'll catch up with it eventually

Probably tomorrow

Lol famous last words I suppose

Of your own accord or otherwise?

Most likely that, yes

How are you feeling now?

Still a little turned around from your little episode?

A little bit

But i think okay

A lot of my issue has been bp

Too low right?

Mostly yeah

I come pretty close to passing out a lot

Gads
Careful out there!

It's honestly difficult

Yeah I sure don't like the feeling of passing out... Unless I'm passing out in bed on purpose lol

Same

But at least i know the feeling

As in, can preemptively sit or get to the lowest point

Speaking of which

The leeway is getting shorter :/

You need to sleep?

Oh dear

Yes I do need to sleep

Me too

I'm about halfway there

Sweet dreams
Sweet babe

Dirto, ditto

null

Love you!

null

2025-01-07T05:33:22

null

Heyy

My beebee!

Current sitch

null

null

null

null

Sleepy bebe!

Are you ok?

Soooo tired

But yes

Why?

Wasn't sure based on your countenance

How countenance?

Facial expression?

Ohh

Fuccccckkkkkkkk i hurt

But how are you?

I'm ok babe!
I'm sorry you're hurting

It's okay thanks

How was your sleep?

Actually pretty good

That's good

Did you sleep well?

Must've

Fell asleep on the couch during my elevated experience

Trekked upstairs and slept til not long ago

Poor baby! Sounds like you could've kept going

Yeah

Aww

null

2025-01-07T07:50:29

Thx babe

This office flourescence is also killing me

Ugh

Yep

Does it help at all to dim the lights in your office?

I have a binary option

Off it is :)

Cant see anything but my screen then :/

Digital transformation, where are you?

Solving own problem yet again
... this is what i have to work with

null

null

null

null

Lamp stick fit into lamp hole

Lamp hole can affix into trad wall slats

I have no wall slats

Nor weighted planter for lamp stick

Oh

Where I was sitting there is a cube full of IT junk. Feel free to rummage there

I dont know where you sat

No one invited me

But i rummaged the lamp lol

Carafe as stand holder did not work

And starting the day at a nice cool 99.2

Do you know where the stairs to nowhere are? Do you remember me pointing and saying I sit "right behind that wall"?

2025-01-07T09:39:14

I recall no such thing. And there are no real walls here lol

But know the trip hazard print room collective storage place!

New position. Make it so!

Still 99.2

Dislike

Feel icky hot cold sweaty

Well you have a map now yes?

You.... know you're typing some nsfw things on the work thing?

Yeah just realized that

Jsyk, i want a play by play with details from Miss ONS

Nay, neeeeeed

It's just about my once nurtured sibling

But whatever about the work at this point - there's much worse yiu have on your work cellular

You mean your old nissan selentra?

Sentra, but I love that!!!

😊

I better be prettier than that samn car

100% yes you are

Aww

Could be lies

Idc

No lies

You can tell me those things all day long

Or night

Whatevs

Hey

Yoooo

How you doin

Just trying to survive this meeting lol

Mine was roughhhhhh

Was that you meeting with ck?

"If it's easier for you to total this way, try minusing...."

One of my CK meetings was this morning

Merting just now was continual training

Which is literally called "boot camp"

And when a coworker asks where the rules are (things like basic thresholds and details you need to know offhandedly) they chucked and told her that they just exist

"we'll let you know if you fuck d up!"

No joke

Guess I'll be creating my refute most of the rest of the week

I also said i think kendell and travis flat out hate me ane think i cant do anything because i dont jukp up and down when i do my job like they do so often. I was not corrected or dissuaded

Fwiw

If you want to push back on this (and I think you should), you should focus on your strengths, your accomplishments, your pain points, and at least admit you are one person doing all manual steps and mistakes can happen.

Yes. That is the plan and what i approached with today and plan on doing more of

My internal debate now is if i want union backup or not

I'm not sure what to say there. Would they actually be helpful? Idk

Right

But i fork over dues wvery paycheck for nothing too

No doubt. All I'm really saying is I don't know if they can help. You are a lot more intelligent than they are.

Right. Thanks.

And i feelnlike they'll just do more to poke the bears

Yeah exactly. Citing chapter and verse of the contract is just going to be irritating for everyone in the room

But I'm not actually trying to dissuade you. I just think you're above all that

Same

Also I just thought of something

Oh? I have plenty more too

If the mistakes caused some kinda heinous problem, bring a solution proposal. Maybe these account need to have an extra layer of review by someone who hasn't been part of the production

Or something like that. Show that you want the issue to be solved, and you have a positive contribution to make

Yes. Already did that.

Plus, yknow, TWO MILLION DOLLARS in lg acct debt i single handedly collected and she took credit for by herself

And.... is it a coaching plan if I'm not even performing the same job functions or in the same role?

You are a problem solver at heart, not a troublmaker

Yes

Like when no one had a clue who had ld/plr accts during the incident but i had a list that i made for me by myself and went through "sent" emails to collect their contact info so there could be some communication to specifically them? Yes.

CK has had his invoice sending privileges revoked as well

Like wtf

I begged for a better system for 5 years, make three errors one time after half a year of a shitshow, and you want me gone?

Mmmmmk

Whats this about?

So he got dinged as well?

I feel like your leadership has completely failed. They are blaming the little people for their incompetence

Did you tell me someone got fired?

Yes, a hundred thousand percent

Now kirby, travmill, and kendell have a 5 hour block to look at the invoices before they get sent

Hope they have fun with the details they dont know and that suck to do

And yes someone else got fired but different reason

✔️ ty

I'm trying to get info from Cristina as well

Don't worry, completely anonymous

I dont think i have done anything wrong, so you're welcome to use my name if it helps. Position, compensation, education, i have more atrocities too

Lol I don't need her knowing I know you rn

Ahh. Okay

She's good friends with David

Not my fault you're a coffee addict and i needed a micfiwave back in september

Heh!

I suppose it's not your fault you're a total cutie with intelligence too?

null

Nevvvver

Lolol

Mwa!

Please

But whennnnnn encore?

Arkansasian news?

Literally just got it

They're leaving the 19th

The children just left

Moments ago

And mommy invited them to go to the show on the 17 th , which grinds my fucking gears, but I'll survive I guess

Im sorry, love

Any news on how long they'll be gone?

Even if they said something it would be wrong. I'd expect at least a week, quite possibly 2, and maybe even more

Okay, thanks

I feel like I'm dying. Again.

But whyyyy

99.3
Weak
Tired

Maybe some albuterol is a fine idea

2025-01-07T15:23:43

Annnnnnyway

How are you now?

I'm pretty close to clearing a basket of work off my desk thank goodness so I can breathe

Yay!

How is it going ?

A little better thanks

Good good
You're almost done with office for the week!

Yesssss!

Are you trapped all week?

Like a rat

Shucks

Means i am too

Did you know my Chinese zodiac avatar is the rat? So good.

You could go get some nice spa treatment or something

I could!

I want to see you :(

What if i need emergency furniture selection assistance?

There's a new preposterous sounding question i have for you too

And i may need some moianalysis of you for it

😂

This conversation is getting very anal lytical

Okay tease

EFSA!

??

Emergency furniture selection anal isis?

Ass istance

Sorry

Omg silly boi

You sure know how to pick em

No no t that

Get your mind out of the gutter

I'm moving this conversation to teams

Hahaha 🤣

You do you boo

Union mandated break here

Lol

Really

Yep

Rich

No 👎

Parkay?

15 min maximun

You're probably too young for those commercials

Butter but better?

The anthropomorphic margarine tub

Weird

Tall Blue container

That's it!

But talking

I remember

Like a bad trip

I grew up in an exclusively margarine/oleo/country crock house

I literally remember the first time i had real butter

Ah yes
Cunexttuesday crock

Mmm

Oleooooooo

Wild

Ever made butter?

Oops break over!

For real

Did not use to be this way

I need out of this. Badly.

I know it
Get that resume updated and let gtfo

Yeah

But i also kinda might need to stay here

And i have less than 0 idea where to start with a resume

Sheesh

Sorry

Why do you think you need to stay fr?

Insurance

Husband's

Besides, you don't know what's offered

That's not as stable ground as anyone thinks

You know this

I know

Well then
Don't assume

Or you will be eating shit until you retire

Or we find you a better af job nbu

Either way, resume will be needed

I will help if you want me to

That's been the goal

Again, i do not know how to start this

Help is very appreciated

I feel like you're yelling down at me. Dislike.

I'm sorry

I will back off

I know you're trying to be helpful and i appreciate that

But i will never depend on him for myself

Makes sense
I'm sorry babe

I know its not such a trivial thing

So for at least the time being, i have to stay eating this shit so i survive. Very literally.

Well I'll keep eyes and ears open for ya

Thanks. I try to do that too. There's nothing.

I also have mismatched interests, skills, and experience

Believe it or not, that's not too uncommon

I know

But when we find the right opportunity we want to be ready!

PS thanks for calling me out

You were right

Not one of my better traits

Oh. Okay.

Thanks

I may say this more than once, because it is a repeating behavior i receive. I always have the same sentence screaming in my head

I. Am. Not. Her.

Thank you

It's honestly bizarre how many times i have had to very earnestly remind or scream that to men ane boys

In a very, very wide variety of situations

I appreciate this! I don't like to hear I am this way but like to know it so I can address this

With myself , to be clear

I shall questions when you are available

Me verb
Have

Like you have them for me?

Yes yes

I have one for you that I've been mulling on for a while

And i know it is absurd in how it sounds

Well

You first or me first?

Ohh no

I guess you

Lol ok

When you get this thing from me, is it in a bantering mode, or serious conversation?

Which thing?

Like when,?

This thing

Finally home!

So, that thing, the repeating behavior is from xy chromosome hosts not repeating from you

Straight away i can name 5 people who have somehow thought i am someone i am very obviously not. An ex they liked, an ex they didnt like, someone they wanted to date, their mother or sister, their kid, an adult film actress, etc etc etc

Oh!
Well sorry I misunderstood my station there

That is really something. I'm no perfect being. But the things don't people do... It's wild

Repeat the last sentence??

Right I'm looking at that thinking there is no way I typed that

Cool cool

The things people do these days are so wild

Rachel / Rebecca

From Brighton

Hired onto housing staff

Small

Brunette

Ongoing restricted or forbidden flirtation

She broke it off with him

He refused to date me

"In my experience, it's really in my best interest nit to date anyone who's still a student"

Fuckkkkkk that guy

2 years of that nonsense and anyone and everyone saw it between us. Dating but not. The one person i told a ton of intense things to who shared this trust and never broke confidentiality in mandatory reporting, actively kept me alive and in school and employed and away from home and

I. Am. Not. Her.

Sorry

Both working housing duty on February 14. I made scratch lasagna and tuxedo strawberries in his kitchen. He got me flowers and cards all day. No one in their right or wrong mind would tell you there were mixed signals

Was that a story about a person you dated harboring feelings about his ex gf?

Who is him

You missed the part where i said he wouldnt date me after he dated Rachel who was unbelievably similar to me

Him is named Mike. Was the hall directir who hired me. And her fir that matter. Actually hired me to replace her now that i think about the housing places that needed to be filled when i became an RA. She broke him so i was fun to get attention from and for him to lead on and so on and so forth. For 2 years.

When noon hit on the day we closed down the dorm and he migrated to a different position at Ferris i brought up that he was no longer my boss and "im not moving to east coast for another few days, im completely dateable and encouraging you, we'll both be around next year and it would be a lot of fun"

I got the invite to go get lunch (for the rest of staff) with him and hang out in his car doing so. Then i got some pats on the back for the balls i had for saying anything because he knew it was probably terrifying for me to be that vulnerable

I told him that i knew he knew because (names) werent subtle and i knew they joked with him about me and my smittenness for those preceding years

So he made sure i knew that "for what it's worth, [he] didnt need anyone to say anythingggggg since it was pretty obvious we had a thing anyway, just couldnt have it official"

And then "in my experience, it's best not to date anyone who's still a student"

Dude. 5 years older. And i wasn't a collegy coed

Yeesh

He was the first i told a lot of shit to, and all the rest.... plus knowing he joked with other staff AND his friends (who were my friends but not mutual of that makes sense?) Like.... stabbed over and over

That was a very long time ago. I am obviously still hurt and flabbergasted by it all

Oh yeah! He also visited me a handful of times when i moved to an apartment on campus

Hey call them out!

And graduation

And he met and conversed with my mother

Under what pretense?

Oh damn

I forgot this

He was my boss and she was visiting is when they talked

He was in town from out of state was me and my apartment

Huh

I wish you could see my expression and the mannerisms right now

Do you have any idea what they are? I have more to say

No it sounded like you were in the middle of something just now though

Kind of. Kind of not. I'll keep thinktyping if you can describe what you think my physical processing of this looks like

You must be exasperated

Because it is just now occurring to me that he wasnt ever the type who wanted physical gain from this, and he wasn't the malicious type (to my knowledge), but i was hopeless and it probably felt great for him to have me parade around all cute and be smart and sassy and have goals and depend on him and him know he didnt officially break any rules

And there was all this connection of dark and twisty but still outwardly positive and taking over life even though it kept fucking us over

I don't know what i was. I was so sure we would end up at least messing around for a while, if not dating.

I'll get some pics from then so you can see who each of us is in these instances.

I was at the very literal darkest parts of my life more than a few times

So maybe he liked being the rescuer? Maybe he liked the ego boost? Knowing me better than other people could because i just never said anything to anyone but him? He knew so, so much and now I'm really turned upside down

Was it just fun to have a silent power trip?

I write this letter to him that i never sent and all it was was me crying and pleading and wondering if i was too messed up mentally because of everything and that's why he didnt want me

He would see me stay awake for days, see my cuts, know when i didnt eat or when i was in a vomiting cycle, was the first one i told about my brother

He held me in the hallway when i had a panic attack while we were in the group of a dozen of us training for dorm scenarios we needed to be prepared for and i collapsed in a flashback because the scene we had was to figure out how to manage a sexual assault in one of our residents if it happened

Babe I'm so sorry!

And the people who acted it out, the girl was a friend of mine and knew exactly how i was from my assault the year before and basically was me in the act for that training and could have verbatim been me

So im in the hall because i needed to get out of the room and im sobbing unsilently and trying to swallow air but im like a fish drowning in oxygen and he comes out and i barely know him much at this pount but he puts his arms out and i dont know what to do but walk to them and then i am on the ground because i have ptsd and the present state isnt there anymore

Not only do all the dorms look the same, but this dorm where we're playing pretend for training was THAT GUY'S dorm and there's so much there too that i want to tell you

And i know i told Mike what happened and he didnt judge or pause me or gaslight me or shame me or ask dumb questions and it was literally the first time i think anyone believed my assault wasn't my fault

And so there was that

I got way off track

So it is going through my head now

My poor baby!

I'm sorry

That even though it was fun and "i knew what i was doing" the whole time and it was reciprocal and mutual and consensual and "i knew he was an authority but not really"

I think i was wrong

Because i dont think that was true?

But it was to me and i was so sure

And I'm still reassuring myself that he was what i wanted and i was what he wanted and who cared if either of us was right or wrong because i was positive i made those decisions of infatuation for myself or that nature made them for me

But i mean, he wouldn't have done that

And there wasnt anything physical, no officially crossed boundaries, no harassment and not even consensual harassment or locker room talk or whatever you'd call it. That wasn't even there

I have always been smart and mature and can see BS from a time zone away

Except i dont think i do now

And i know what i gained, kind of, but it's so much clearer that i lost a lot, but what did he gain? Not really anything.

Control maybe? But if it was that then maybe he was actually doing me a favor because stuff could have been worse

I made a lot of terrible decisions then

Would have could have should have made more

Some would have been highlights of those years but some would have been the end of the road and some would have pivoted me a lot of other places

But why

Do you remember your ages?

Holy fuck at these memories i kind of forgot. I'll give you pics in a sec

My birthday is 5.25.86

His is 3.5.80

He hired me when i was 19 and about to be 20

So some pics of me while i was on his staff

null

null

null

null

null

null

null

null

Now pics where he also is

null

null

null

null

WE WENT TO A WEDDING TOGETHER AND I FORGOT THAT

A mutual friend's wedding, he was on staff all those years too

And i remember mike saying that unless something went really wrong, all the "kids table " (as we were) couples would probably end up getting married too

Yes yes, i used to change my hair a lot

Heh you have always been a cutie

Not always but thanks

Meanwhile I'll try not to drown in bewilderment over here kthx

My goodness

Well

We need to get back to this spiral, but tell me you see it

null

You can click to see full screen

When was this?

When was what?

The baker thing is a 100000% different subject that i am briefly interjecting

When is the $2 million fine scene shot from

Just now today

Ih

Oh

Why?

Wasn't my point with that anyway

Perspective students

OMG!!!

Oh fuck I am dead

THANK YOU

Lol

From wilx

Wow dude

Classy

I was staring at the spiral B ,,( I realize it isn't actually a spiral)

Wondering

What is the hidden image?

Like the FedEx logo

And all I saw was boobs

And I was so lost

I just needed a better

Perspective lolol

Better perspiration

Better collage

I did a doublescroll

Lol

But i just told you some hella groundshatteting memories my guy

NO MAS PROSPECION

CONCEPCION

yes you had some doozies

I will have to share

What I sent to David and Cristin today while I was waiting for insider info

It's in Teams tho so I need to be very considerate lol

Right. I have some more insight to share too l9p

It's sfw no worries

And safe for not work

100% vanilla

Ok please continue

We've had a cat fight here

Everyone is ok

Right

Ty

Sorry

What am i continuing?

null

I have multiple thought lines open

TM me babe

??

TM?

Thought message

For a good time 5178123876

Oops

Nope

Not you

Sorry delete it plz lol

Bad kinda typo to have lying around

It's clossssssse

Nah I'd figure out my mistake before I dialed. I tested it lol

Right it's me fat thumbs

You know

What they say

Oh

How are you with this timeline of the 19th?

?

Our Kan's Ass dear

Have you forgotten him already

He was only just borne

What do you mwan how am i with it?

Does that timeline suit? Is it good? Bad? Indifferent?

If I'm being too goofy just tell me to settle

Pretty good actually

What are you thinking? What kind of mischief ideally works for you?

We'll gey back to mike in a bit

I mean we're going to take 2 weeks off and go to Paris or Belize or something

Lol

Right?

I actually recommend PNW or Vermont, but maybe in summer :)

Oooh Australia

You know you cannot make these jokes with me

It's summer there

I m sorry

I know

But would you?

If you could?

Yes

Which is why you cannot joke it

But what kind of for real planwls maybe?

Well I'll figure out some time to get away from le work and we can have your extra free time

Plus there should be at least 1 solid weeend

Qeekend

Wtf end lol

Week

End

If not two of them

If not 3

Very possible

You know mlk day is in there

Like instantly

Milk day mmm

Actually Wednesdays for me lol

Just a coincidence, nbd

Oh. Are you saying we have 20th off,?

At 20:00 tyvm

Dw

Diwali?

Da

Well that's spicy lol

I look forward to knowing the plot

Sunday funday? Well it's unconventional, but hot damn.
That's what she said. As we checked in to the Bougie Towers in Montevideo, the cool evening breeze blew her hair about her bandanna

Fucking cute
I said

Every time
I said

O haha sorry

Do you kmowwhat day(s) you'd be able to get away? Or nights? Also need location ideas from you plz

High confidence: Jan 24 and 25 nights

Medium confidence: Jan 31, Feb 1

And the next weekend with slightly lower confidence

So not 18 or 19 or 20 at all?

Oh, not 18, 19 evening and night, 20 all day and evening

If they don't bump it

A day

Which has happened

50/50 chance

Okay thanks

And perhaps the odd Wednesday, you know?

Too soon for me to make a work intervention

Sure sure

You can legit work from here

I don't have my passport yet

I thought about that literally a few days ago

That would be so rich

Lol

I want to show you one of my passports one of these days

Right!

No for real. It was my #1 coolest thing to me for a while

How many passports do you have?

Still in my possession or how many have i had total?

Hmm

Well I'm trying to determine your wealth-equivalent-of-passports-in-spending-power
Right?

No?

Mm

I think ive had 5

But maybe it's just 4

Wait I just thought of my question

What was 5

Passports

What's your question

But were any lost or stolen?

No

Right

I reckon then you received enough stamps to fill five books,?

No

I got my first one when i was 10

Turned in, hole punched, renewed when i was 16

Same again when i was 26

And when i git married

So at least 4

That's really impressive babe

But ive had visas in some, and the visa takes at least one entire page typically

Oh is it? I don't know these things

They kind of groan when you want a stamp now

And also if youre going between countries on land you rarely get a stamp

Or stopping by a port for a day or 2 gets zero stamps

Trains are weird

Czechia you need more than the eurail train pass since they're not EU, and that costs extra and blahblahblah so much corruption

Really?

Like weird dudes shaking down people for money?

I didnt have a stamp, guy said he could look the other way of the fine if i gave him cash

So i did and got the train clearance & stamp then and there

Why not stamp?

Oh

Oh. I think you probably dont realize some countries still want you to have your citizenship/visitor ID and gov papers on and active at all time, etc. Like, for yoh to carry actual paper with you

And most euro hotels have safes are sealed and far away from major sites and front doors. They need to register you through your passport and there's always been at least some trouble with locals stealing a Caucasian passport

O, no this is new for me

null

A valid, unexpired, generic person looking american passport is at least tens of thousands

Wow

Of dollars, not even a little hard

To get rid of

Well then

You didnt say much after i spiraled down in the mike storypathway

I was just following along.

You were in a roll!

Yes. Sorry. That happens

I cant get out of it usually

It's ok

Just get it out, and let it go

This is one reason portugal is an in person story

I know, not so sinple

But similar blessings to you

You dont have anything to say? You dont have to but i am checking

About what now?

Any of it

Didn't I ask questions?

Yes

I'm not ready to comment

I dont know what you think or feel about it though

Oh

Nbd

Okay

Interesting

No worries babe

Not panicking If i were to use the phrase "kinda hurt myself on purpose today"

I meant you pease dont panic

Wait what?

What happens tp you?

You've lost me hun

It's a new topic

If i were to tell you that i hurt myself intentionally, what happens?

Can we not do this question rn

Wife just came into house

In your mind, your body, etc

Yeah of course

Im sorry

And this is not a simple easy topic ok

I'm sorry

No worries

I don't mean to blow you off

Seriously

It's ok

Ok ty

I'll need to go see about dinner in a moment

Yep

Where was she?

Back porch

Oh

Yah

Kids?

No they left babe.

When? Why?

Why do they live on their own?

And far away?

They left at 13:12. I sent that to you FYI.

Time to go I guess.

Can you say more about your why question plz

Afaik they live a wee bit south of Cadillac.

I heard there is a car appt scheduled for tomorrow. Bookmark that please, it might be interesting to revisit

What's cookin

OMG ty so much for the Pataday!

Sorry, mininapped

Also, yay pataday! But why?

Eyes get dry sometimes

I mean yah but the ty seems like it's super random

Bc I used it a short while ago

There when I needed it

We win!

I find pleasure in many things

Aww

Speaking of...

Yo babe

Hey I'm just about faded out

Lol me too

Babe baeeee

Lol

Aww

Wanted to say goodnight

Gnight to you too sweet baby

❤️ you

You're the best

Nah

Love you

You

2025-01-08T00:39:47

Im really sorry if this wakes you, I'm just up because I'm really sick and trying to distract myself. I number things so they're easier to refer and respond back to

1. I wanted to get a better idea of how you think or feel or just in general what senses come across if you hear/knew i intentionally caused physical harm to myself. I did not. And I'm not trying to play any kind of twisted game with you or your emotions, but i don't know how it would be to not understand the act. I'm trying to gain that insight. Did you feel anything viscerally? Were you mad? Disappointed? Angry?

2. This mike treachery i told you earlier. It's bitterness for sure, but i don't know what it makes me feel. Tricked maybe? Used? Maybe betrayed? Stupid for sure. Led on. It helps when i can name things for myself. That doesn't often happen.

3. I always want a why and i never get it. I wish i understood that more.

4. Remind me to tell you about how invoicing went today i guess. And entering policies. I so desperately want the appreciation for so many things i will never get there. I need you to tell me how to jukp up and down every time i do what i think is a basic thing (send a rec and not just "your agent can do that for you").... this is evidently how i got to this place and it fucjing sucks. I'm still maddddd mad about it and i dont know why. Should i be?

5. The absurd-sounding thing i keep wanting to tell you isnt so easy to explain. You dont seem to want to or maybe know how to use me. I know you haven't said it outright. I am guessing it is atypical for someone to actively talk about using someone for sexual gratification to their face. I kind of understand why it was acceptable or even appealing to me but wtf ia wrong with me that i am or was okay with receiving that kind of mentality and treatment. I'm jist always so dumb

6. Phd guy. I want answers. There's zero excuse for what he did. It's been almost a year. What do i even do with the mental strain this caused and causes me? I dont want to seem like crazy stalker girl but he needs to know how much he fucked up and i am not the doormat he thinks and treating someone how he did is not okay. What do i even do with this.

Letting it go and moving on with these things... i dont know how anyone can. And my memory? Not easily dropped.

2025-01-08T05:23:07

I really wish your hands were running along this

null

Sweet baby

I long to caress you

And hold you

And kiss you

Good morning :)

Good .morning baby!

How are you? 🙂

I feel good! Ty
How are you doing?

Pretty good thanks

You've written a lot I see

Sorry

No sorry

It's good

It's ok

:/

Did you ever write just to write, like a journal or diary ?

I do not

I dont know what might happen if i start

Do you want to talk about anything? Re the numbered items or anything else?

I do. I also know you have work and such

Right it might take a bit.

But I will go through this with you

Thank you

You're welcome

Plans for your day of laboring?

Idk .. last night the cats knocked over the Christmas tree. It was only 2 feet tall but there are candy canes and mylar tinsel all over lol

Now it looks like a Charlie Brown tree

Oh no! I'm sorry babes

null

null

Ive got that goin for me

Quite a scamp!

Did i show you yesterday's percy wake up call?

I don't think so

Is he a spaz?

null

null

He is catsy curious

Very very nice baby boy, will lay like a baby in your arms for hours. Does not underatand "stramger danger"

Likes water. And soap.

😂

As in, our soap bars all have wear down the middle because he has licked them and eroded some away

OMG no!!! Lolol

It's organic, relaxxxxx

But what a goof

Ball

Oh he's for sure the hammiest

null

Oh wait wrong pic

null

Aww

He's not falling

JUST SLEEP8NG LIKE THAT

Looks comfy lol

null

Gotta love hammy cats

null

You said you were sick. Are you feeling better?

Yes thanks

Remember me talking about video cartridges one day? But i didn't know their name?

Yeah

null

Hand for scale

Ah yeah! The video disc!

But it's just this cartridge, no circle like i would associate with a disc

I guess that's how they were. I never had the tech, nor did anyone I knew

My family were late adopters of everything

I grew up without a microwave!

Lol I just heard my car honk bc someone drove by with a loud muffler

Oh wow

My car is kinda sensitive lol

I also grew up in a house with one phone. An old school, hang on the wall, rotary phone

It's funny to think about now

I bought a long cord so I could take the handset down the stairs to my bedroow

Lol

I used to ask for my own phone line every holiday

Lol I asked routinely. "So expensive!"

Whatcha going to do with your day off?

2025-01-08T10:01:51

Just woke up again :)

I might go somewheres .... whatcha think?

I was thinking you might go to those secondhand stores on Kalamazoo

I kinda thought same. Or at least to Aprils

But there are other secondhand places too, so it's always kinda a rough decision where to go

Well

null

null

Maybe i dont go anywhere :(

Uh what does the second one mean?

2025-01-08T14:45:42

Hey sis you doing ok?

2025-01-08T16:46:36

Hey

O hai

How is everything?

I think not great. Just waking up

Why what's going on?

Beyond tired is one

Poor baby needed sleep!

Well idk

Still working on figuring it out

Any better?

Havent moved yet

Goodness

It isnt good i just dont know how bad yet

What is happening ?

Well my standing bp isnt really registering

I am super cold because i sweat through everything

Yowza!

I just cant do anything and need help but idk how this will go

Yeah... sweaty

null

Do you need food?

Just ordered some

null

Super cute huh?

Aww :( poor babe

Oh. And my back. It was good today. Had a patch. Patch has since sweated off

What kinda patch?

Lidocainr

👍

They help sometimes

I can only use some though. Not if they have menthol or capsaicin

If my eyes stay open and you're so inclined, i would love to chat about the stuff from earlier

How was your day?

It was pretty ok. I feel oddly tired for being 1830, but good overall

Headed for bed?

Nah I'll hang in there for a bit

How are you? I'm worried about you

I am not good. Im at a loss what to do though.

You?

I'm fine
Can you tell me anything? You said bp. What else is going on?

Temp is up and down

BP is the biggest one

Pain but that's typical

I cant really stay awake

Breathing is normal but also feels like it's taking a lot of mental effort. That probably doesn't make sense

It does

Glucose?

Can you test it or did you already .. or do you know the symptoms of hypoglycemia well?

I test pretty regularly. And being hypo has been part of my life for 25 years so i definitely know symptoms but thanks

Just ate not too long ago and I'm at 150

Alright

That seems reasonable to me, same for you?

Yes

Geez I'm sorry babe

Why?

Just wish I could help or something

Yeah same. I just don't know what to do.

Or what to do about tomorrow. Guess that's morning Rebecca's problem

Did your food arrive?

Yeah, and i ate what i could. That was 2 and a half ish hours ago lol

Oi the time got away from me lol

Mmhmm

I just cant even with this (*gestures vaguely before eyes fall closed again*)

I think i want water

Flavored as your favorite flavor! What is the btw?

Do you have (or like) herbal teas?

I have organic peppermint leaf. It's quite nice with honey

I don't think i like them. Well, herbal tasting ones, that is. No wait, floral ones. I always sweeten my tea

I enjoy a lot of bevs, teas included

And i meant i think i just want water flavored water

I am very tense despite being so unwell. As in, cannot unclench my jaw. It hurts. Can you help with this?

I do recommend water babe, and electrictrolytes.

Wow spelling fail

Flavored water, diluted tea, drop of lemon juice, something

Get some in ya

Muscle tension also from dehydration

I know

I just kind of cant

It's just my mouth that's super tense the rest of me dgaf

And cramps

Well, good I guess?

Not really ofc

Best i can explain this kind of is that it's so much easier to just fall back asleep and keep doing it vs getting up to get water or anything

My poor babes :(

Make L get you something

null

Yeah. I'll get on that

I'm sorry

Aww dang it all

Do y'all have carbon monoxide detectors in your house?

Du diligence question

That's a fair question. I wish i knew the answer. Legitimately COD for that sibling of mine, at least on the cert. I'm kind of awake and talking. Dog is snoring. L turned off the lights before he decided nap was in order. He's breathing. I'm texting.

Have/had them but i doubt he ever installed them

I had to ask for them for a holiday gift

Then got scolded on how much they were (not much, btw)

By whom? Why yes, that mother of mine

What interesting worlds people live in lol

May i tell you something that will probably not sit well with you?

Yeah sure :)

You were saving something first though

Maybe we come back to it

Please say it

You're not going to like me for it

That's ok

But i still will

And i bet i already know my reasons against it

?

Whatever you're going to say

Ok

As a FIRE FIRST RESPONDER I can think of no reason to recommend CO monitoring

The cognitive dissonance is deafening

You don't know this

But my mother represented victims

Of defective furnace vents

That killed a lot of people who lived in trailer parks

Because they died of CO poisoning

Or families, I should say

Needless to say she was adamant we have them

A fucking fire fighter?????

Ok rant over

I'm really sorry your mother learned a lot of the things she did

And now i kind of wonder how she sleeps

And thank you for saying what you did

Bad things happen all the time

We are in 1000% agreement

Well yes

Whose side is she on?

But she can probably tell you physical signs of co poisoning

I bet she can

So can i

What a thing to say for a fire. Fighter.

To her own. Daughter.

I'm out for a minute obv I need to cool off

Because i heard my mother ask the medical examiner over the phone from the bed across the room where we litetally lived in augist 2016

I will just be a few minutes

Ok

You don't need to cool down btw

So I'm going to ramble for a bit

Things like

"Were his cheeks pink? I know that's a sign"

"Oh yeah, I've seen that before"

"Remember how we found [victims] at [address] that time [details]? Was he laying like that?"

"Oh okay, so his arms then..."

There was more but this makes me warm

Physically warm and not in a good way

The thing that's not going to sit well with you, is now. I dont know how much I've said before so some may repeats and so sorry for that.

In this moment now and a lot of times like it i dont really know how to describe the feeling of defeat i have. It's like i dont care enough to actively die but not a ton to prevent it either. And right now it's hard when I'm not well and i see this pro and con list kind of like long swathes of luxury ribbon and the pro list is so short and the con list curls up at the bottom because the ribbon is so long.

I get impulsive a lot, but not to the stage of instantly taking a bunch of pills or ingesting anything else or even injecting. I dont know why. That's been the case very few times, and in those instances i was too young or dumb to know what would have been truly lethal. Small victories i guess for that.

But in the down and out when i think of how there's so much i will always have to fight for just to keep existing, or surviving, and not even living, it's just not worth it anymore to me.

Im still typing

I used to give the automatic answer to "how would you want to die if you had to pick?" As "starving to death, trapped in room full of food, not knowing if the lock really worked or not".

Giving up just seems kinda nice

Even though i know i won't

And that sucks in itself too

Suicide has almost always been an option for me and kind of needs to be, and Idk how else to explain that

You've said so before

Sorry

Well

I don't want to pretend to have clinical reasons why you should reconsider your position

I only have selfish ones

Anyway Im here to listen

If it wasn't for people like you having selfish reasons i would have jumped a long time ago. I hate that but it is what it is

It is so

I'm not here for glory you know

I'm not a super hero

I'm terribly fond of you

And despite the pain you carry so evidently

I want to be there for you

Prop you up

You're worth so much more than what they told you

All of them

I dont know which all of them you mean. Like, i wish there was a list

People who are miserable get a lift from dragging the rest of us down. It's perverse

I think you know there is actually joy in life

If you can keep it

I do, kind of

I have it it briefly and not as briefly. I feel like there's no way for me to get there

*have had it

I get that

Totally makes sense

I cant forget so much and i cant move past it either

And i cant undo it and i cant really run away and i cant fix it

100% of what you said makes sense

Then there's only 1 option that ever stays in the mix

I know when i was this way most recently. At least the time when i was reallllllly bad off, like, didnt leave the bedroom floor for 2 days. Probably longer but for sure 2

That was right after we met was it?

Did i tell you that?

Yes, I'm just not sure when. I think it was early on, bc we weren't regularly talking yet

It was literally after i walked in on September 15th

Oohhhh

Ok yes

I don't think i told you that much

You told me every bit you just said up there

I literally laid in the dark on the floor in the same clothes

I meant i didnt think i told you when my floor days were

Ok right

Okay wait though, i didn't tell you why

Now i can't figure out how to make it sensible

It was good

That's kind of why

I mean, fantastic

And i think nothing in me understood and i kind of short circuited

But it was also checking and balancing without balancing

I'm sorry, i don't have to tell you any of this

Lol you did but it's ok!

Wait what?

I'm just saying you just told me things that's all

Yes

What would you like to say. Or ask.

I've been following but I've also been making food so I have not been thinking much about the details.

I am done with other things though

And sitting in bed

So ready to be more responsive

Ok

So the 2+ days, that was in response to the time we spent together?

Yes but also no

Ah

That made sense to you ??

Not at all

Lol

It was kind of like "oh. fuck. What was the rest of the shit before now?" And sad. Because i just didnt know what i didnt know

And i had this tickered reel playing of time after time after person after this and that and all of these deflations

And then what?

I feel like i am being unclear about something but I'm not sure what

It's ok I think I get it, I am just trying to be careful not to interpolate to much

No that might actually work well

You enjoyed our time together
It was not like other times
Does not compute

Yes!

Aww! Yay!

But it was way more than just enjoying time

I wrote with brevity as a goal
Feel free to elaborate more
I mean you already did, but was there more?

What do you mean with brevity as a goal

Quite literally trying to write with few words

Okay. Right. I will try and say what i can

Whatever you have to say is fantastic

I was just opening the floor to you babe :)

You seemed to like my response

There were just so many things. I knew you and your name and stuff about you. You didn't try to hide things and i didn't try to hide much. I didnt hurt after. I slept next to you. I didnt scramble to shower. You didnt cut down any part of good or not good things about me. You went down on me. You kissed me. You contacted me later that day and the day after. You were clean and tasted like nothing. I wasn't intoxicated at all. You didn't expect me to pay for everything pr insist on you doing everything or ask me about if or what i charge. You didn't push. I felt like i could have said no or i could have just frozen and that would have been okay but also wouldn't have been a never again mentality. There was a lot.

I'm so happy

But all of these things you did and didnt do tricked my mind into every negative interaction I'd ever had with someone intimately (a lot of the senses of that word, which includes people i never physically did anything with and includes a lot of childhood and the last 3 years and the last 14, respectively and everyone who had their hands in it all)

Can I ask about that?

Yes

I will tell you anything and everything you ever want to know now

Are you saying you didn't think about all those negative things much before? That this all sort of started flooding out after our night?

Hmm

That's a little bit of a weird answer

Maybe? I knew lots of things had happened. I accepted bad things to keep happening. I did not know things (like that night) could be just good.

I have thought about these things constantly for a long time. I didnt look past the iceberg tip, i guess?

I think it's good that you poked into this

I think it suuuuuuuuucks how much this is going to feel

Thoughts please

It's like de gas lighting

Is it gaslighting if you didnt know things were bad in the first place

I want to help as much as I can
It sort of occurs to me that I don't really know what help means, but you're welcome to take from me what works for you

I dont think there's a way for you to know how much or even that you have actually very much helped already. Thank you. I dont know why you want to though. And some ways are fantastic for you to help that no one else has ever been willing and it's so weird how that works

Would it ever make sense to you why i dislike you helping? Could you explain any of that?

Is that a hypothetical? I don't know how to explain it

It is hypothetical

But the first part, do you understand ways that you help that very much no one else can? Or has?

I understand what you're saying, yes.

Are you willing to tell me?

Oh, I don't understand how it works.

I'm sorry I read that wrong

No i don't think you read it wrong

I'm just me lol

I know i say this a lot, a lot a lot a lot, but you go down on me

And you kiss me

And you kiss places on me that are of no benefit to you

I like kissing you

Because why?

Because it thrills me
And when I make you draw a breath suddenly, even more so

I get high kissing you

And pleasing you

When do i draw in sharply?

Usually when I start going for your neck

Oh yeah, that's accurate

And then you start asking for more

Very politely

How could I resist?

It's for you

I want you to have it

I hear you

I don't know if there's a way for me to completely silence the back of my brain that says "you want me to have it so that..." and i fill it in when you don't. And i really hate that.

I don't think you have the part of you that really expects a level above reciprocation

You're right about the latter. You owe me nothing

I may be selfish, but I'm not greedy lol

Hopefully expect, maybe?

Idk how else to say expect

Presume?

What, me?

Everyone

I think I'm realizing something else rn

I think you would stop

And i think i would ask you to

That probably doesn't make sense to you

It does actually
I was kinda waiting to hear it for a while

But you seemed to want more, not stop

Waiting to hear me ask you to stop?

Right

When?

Several times I guess. The first few we were together anyway

Why did you expect it? Do you remember if there were any specific points?

There wasn't a specific thing to it. I wasn't sure if I would cause some kind of triggered response by accident

Right

That's a real risk

One that I'm really, really scared of

It's ok to say no if you need to!

I dont know when that would be

When would i say no?

Im looking for actual answers to this

In a trigger moment is my main thought

I don't know what it might be

I tell you as many as i can

One sec

Okay

Sorry

I have triggers i dont even know

That said, i dont think ive ever clicked off in your presence

A really weird part of me would like to

2025-01-09T05:47:20

Good morning lover!

Hey, you too!

null

How are you baby?

Nice troupe btw

Thanks

Temp is bavk to normalish for now. Sick of that rollercoaster. Boyt to stand, wish me luck!

Xoxox

So far success :)

Though i also hit a goal i think you wont like so much

Uh oh! What's that

You've already racked up a lot of licks from me. You might as well keep going :P

I did no such thing!

Where and whenceforth are these licks from!??

I'll show the laundry list later

Ill tell you the new addition later then mmmmk

That'll cost you double dear

Who decides where these licks might be applied?

Their intensity?

Duration?

What constitutes a lick?

Completely at my discretion

Hmmm

159.8

What's that you say?

Yes indeed

Hmf

^hmph

null

You guess it I'll tell you more, but i told you

(But maybe that gets me more licks??)

You can be sure of that!

I absolutely know one very specific lick in a specific place that i want

I mean need

Idrc if ive told you the kind but i think i have

You can go ahead and guess that too

🤤

For real. Guess.

Oh I remember. You did tell me

Well then
...
??

You'll find out

But what if i modified it?

Well then you'll have to provide the new information innit?

Oh but i have no idea where your baseline is, so you'll have to remind me of that first

Heh I will, don't you worry!

Pleeeeeeeease tell me ??

Hmm. Why should I? I think you tell me things and don't always remember it. Now I can look like a mind reader!

Perhaps

There's actually probably a decent amount i will not remember having told you, and that's kind of a continual basis

Not to squash this conversation, but in all seriousness i encourage you to look up c-ptsd and memory (or something to that affect)

Yes, you actually mentioned that before and I did read up a bit. In all seriousness, I am just teasing you here. I would not take advantage of this

But I'll still lick ya

Take advantage? But how?

I just wanted you to know that i don't repeat intentionally unless i say so. I know it's annoying and I'm sorry

Babe don't worry about that, seriously it's ok

Well it's been a morning of almost crying. Idk what to do here. Ugh.

Why? What's happening?

I'm just in a fuckton of pain. And overwhelmed with a lot that i can't figure out.

I'm sorry babes :(

Me too

What do i even do here?

I just realized i keep holding my breath

Maybe relaxation techniques?

How do i do that and answer emails and explain chrojic illness and describe why i might not be able to consistently do 5 mandatory hours of OT

And still hold in the bitter and anger and slap in the face that i need to enumerate from my coaching plan

And find my mouse and start laundry and put on mascara and find a new job and make my stupid store order and clean this room

I'm so sorry

Oh. Okay, yes, thanks

But that was a literal question

My literal answer is take two minutes to try to relax, then deal with one thing at a time.

You need to try to let go of some of this anxiety

Literally: close the laptop, turn the phone over, close your eyes, and focus on breathing. Try to clear your mind. It's not going to be easy because you have a cacophony of things going on in there. Try as hard as you can to let them go for a minute. There are different ways but try anything.

Lmk how you're doing when you can please :)

I am doing ok i guess

Any luck with the relaxation?

Kind of

I left the croffice for 6 minutes

Walked around, took some tylenol, got my mouse and inhaler and some papers and to do lists

I will set a timer for 2 or 3 minutes at 0930

I take 15 minutes between 1000 and 1130

Oh good job babe :)

Hey babe

Hi!

How's it going?

Not bad , just got done with some meetings

Trying to decide what to do first

Like what?

I've got a decent list here
* Review developer data governance workflow, identify governance assets that should be referenced, and identify where we lack tools to support
* Finalize profit sharing summary, including manually calc'd agencies
* Draft tracking document for new business flag workgroup
* Reach out to business analytics team to discuss inclusion in NB flag workgroup
* Set up meetings and intro with Actuarial POD regarding transition of xref maintenance

Thanks for making me write that out lol. I actually needed that

What would you recommend I start with?

I have a way that will actually work! Treat it like a march madness bracket

Deciding between 2 is easier than deciding between 64

Y'know that's kinda clever :)

Lol thanks

Yknow, i can be clever sometimes

❤️

Kiss, tease top down, swirl, quick trip in, spread wide, go slowly back up

😋

Oh, you think you're sooooooo smart

Lol

Oh this isn't dance moves?

Where else could this be?

You know, some might even be mutual moves

(One specifically]

👅😻

She licks back now

O rly?

There was a very specific step in that though that's very mutual

Non? Tristesse

Idk, I thought a few of them are, um, versatile

Oh you should probably explain them then

Better start stretching that tongue of yours btw

Allllllll directions

Hehe yes ma'am!

Silver or gold, aesthetically for you?

You and tea

Silver all the way

Me and t?

T Rex?

You want a trex? I have.

What color trex you want?

Lol what's happening
We have metallic dinos?

I mean, i really do have one in my living room. You havent seen it? I'll snap a pic later

Or you can see it when you lay me down on the couch next time. Whatever

Got some shopping questions for you

 ​❤️​ to “ I mean, i really do have one in my living room. You havent seen it? I'll snap a pic later

Or you can see it when you lay me down on the couch next time. Whatever  ” 

Yeah?

https://open.spotify.com/track/12g9IeQzX7xECLNxz8dpb5?si=mWzSVZG3RtaH9vbtNhGTIg

Yes

Have you used the tee moo before?

Intentionally typed, l9l

https://open.spotify.com/track/7aZsTdQGRdbOhxBWA7ZMHv?si=28MIfGG3QHWwf-8xf1Qm3g

null

Personally I have never t'mu and I avoid search results from there

My family seems to love it

 ​😂​ to a photo 

Same, but it curiouses me

Also why i didn't type the real name

Im clever that way

null

Whatcha doin tonight?

I know this is weird, can i have your receipts? From anywhere. Everywhere. I swear not to look at actual purchases. I'm trying an experiment

Localish sex shops you may have been to?

Decide to put in lingerie of your choosing yet? Site unseen (unsure spelling/homophone)

What if i gave you a remote control and i wore something functional?

Talking to David -- hopefully back soon lol

Omg

Work in that some chick says her favorite poets are Carl Sandberg and Christina Rosetti. See what he makes of that dichotomy

Ooooohhh ask AI!

I'm legit curious

Maybe ask if Ellen Hopkins counts

Lolol!

I hate to tell you but my receipts are pretty boring. Pretty much Kroger only. I haven't been to a sex shop in aaaaaaages

Are you talking about one of those Lovense (?) toys where you can give people remote control over the Internet?

I should do some longer shopping. I was thinking about that this morning actually

Lingerie, not longer lol

I still want them. Points!

Maybe we change that shop visitation

I was indeed referring to such a thing! There's an app for that...

I want to see what your ideal doll of me would wear

So, venturing out at all later or nah?

What do you usually get at Fresh Thyme that other places lack?

I also have a super ultra cool new thing or several taking up space in your bag

Get a non catsy ahelf, lol

I have something fun for you/us! Legit. Local.

null

You could walk

2025-01-09T17:20:13

Ok sorry the profit sharing muse called and I'm signing off now

Finis!

For now lol

Off work or off me?

Off work

On you

All you

Mmmmmm okay!

I'll stand plenty naked so you can quick defile me behind the front door

Omw! Lol

I wish

Okay but i realllllllly want you, so......

Thirsty Thursday eh?

Where's your L

Ooh! I could!

Eff if i kmow

Lol

Busy his ass for not being home on time and make him cook for you

Teach that boy some manners

I could use your help finding a purchase please

I like more than brownbeige carbs + meats

Ok

You're looking for food?

Questions from earlier still stand

Nah, i have food

Oh crap I forgot questions

Wait so what are you looking for?

A guided breathing, take a break, desktop (smol) light. I need it 5o be cute in my mindset but not icky kid cute and not cheesy meditative

I'm not sure how all those words go together

Examples?

https://www.amazon.com/mindfulness-breathing-light/s?k=mindfulness+breathing+light&rh=p_85%3A2470955011&page=3

But, like, cute?

Aesthetically not stupid

I'll be darned.

Ty

:)

Imma fix my own problems

I might be straight up crazy but at least i try to quell it

Hey that's excellent! I didn't know these devices existed

I literally have 10 lamps in my office. It's bright.

I don't handle that well some days

Sure , sure

So anyway, we're picking me a light thing

Yes

MARZIUS Flower Crystal Ball Night Light,2.4 inch Glass Ball Night Lamp with Woodern Base (Dandelion)
https://a.co/d/3BeOX0H

What do you think about this one?

Oh not actually the right thing

It's pretty, but it doesnt seem to accomplish what I'm looking for

Yeah sorry. Sneaky old beelzezos

Look what I found on Etsy:
https://www.etsy.com/listing/1454013608/chakra-shadow-lamp-meditation-table-lamp?ref=share_v4_lx

There are a few near ones on Etsy

*neat

I buy two things at Fresh Thyme: whole bean coffee and their store brand real soap. I get other things there sometimes, but I'm usually after one of the above

Actually that reminds me-
I get nutritional yeast there too nowadays. Do you know this substance?

Nooch?

I do

And now that there's that rabbit hole of gorgeous lamps, still not what I'm after for this specific purpose

Ok any guidance you can provide? Are the Etsy ones too... What? Busy? Sharp? Weird?

Or are you racist against ppl from estykan?

The light thing i want helps you count breathing and such. It's more of a gadget than anything lamp-y

Ok were the Amazon gadgets closer?

Yes

 ​👍​ to “ Yes ” 

The ones i showed you

Thx

They look obnoxious to me though

Yes I agree
I only see one non-lampy gadget so far

And it looks like an airport hanger

I think we are miscommunicating

Ok

null

I want that to be the primary function

Similar, different product

null

So it doesnt have anything to do with being a light source, really

Thank you

https://www.amazon.com/s?k=mindfulness+breathing+visual+indicayor&crid=2Q4B2514T36A4&sprefix=mindfulness+breathing+visual+indicayor%2Caps%2C123&ref=nb_sb_noss

So everything in that link provides that basic functionality but they all look dumb

I will be afk for a bit

I pulled up an item that's basically a pulse oximeter with only a pulse display. What do you think of that idea (or even a legit pulse-ox device)

I have a pulse ox, thanks though

Yes and?

Idk what I'm being proposed?

Use your pulse ox?
Or you prefer something else

Fair warning i am likely to be mean rn. I dont intend it, esp not for you, but cant really help it

How would a pulse ov help?

null

Idk , you decide

Hmm. Idk. I really dont understand how awareness of my pulse would help with intentional, mindful breathing

Ok I'll move on

No it's okay. I appreciate you trying, thank you

I think what i ideally want doesnt exist

And i know i am exasperating you

Ok, thanks babe

Im really sorry

It's ok thank you

null

I was thinking of that exact item pictured less than a week ago and thought that would make a good Reddit post

And I scroll and here's this pic just now

Idk what it is?

It's the hi-beam switch on a 1970s ish car or older. It was a foot switch you pressed on, but you could kinda stomp on it too

I have no idea why this was a good idea! But I've driven cars that had it.

Oh weird!

I'm excited that you are looking for such help ! Did things improve for you today?

Not really. But not really worse. I mean until now.

Well darn it

Hey!

Could you use canisters of some sort?

Probably yea!

Hurray!

What if they would be glass?

And custom?

Sounds good so far. Would they hold, say objects like tape rolls? Bigger or smaller?

Roughly the size of candle jars l9l

Or could be basically any size kitchen jar-esque (for those with lids). Almost any size sand lids

Cool, cool all good ty!

I want to make them 100% what you'd want

They'll be foodsafe, if that matters

Cool, cool. And glass you said?

And wherefore the pleasure for me?

Que?

How did I earn this gift?

I guess i kinda like you

But it's a gift.... never earned

Awws :)

What did i do to earn such massive everything you've given me?

Haha!
I guess I kinda like you too

Tbh
Well more fully honest
This was on my mind when you floated the idea by me. I want it to be relaxing and healthful for you babe! You deserve it!

Escape the zoo for a hot minute

I still kind of don't understand this act. As in act of kindness

But my god, it is beyond appreciated

Yay!

I dont know yet what to give you that might approach matching

There is no tit for that darling

Dammit autocorrect

Hahahahahaha

Lol

But i want to

Glass candle grenades!

Not grenades, silly boy

https://open.spotify.com/track/3p9OGmeESADZmeJEHUVnXV?si=mSFBm9HgSDyN14wdCsczJQ

There is so!

Witch shirts and weird goldfish things? Rolly stool?

This is one of my faaaaaavorites from my teens and twenties

Basically defined my HS gf

But I've successfully disassociated the two

Sorry that was awkward af!

Nahnahnah

Why did it define her?

Anyway I really mean the music is the music with me through that relationship. It was with both of us , but I was obsessive about it in was that she just didn't music that way.

Lol I hope that makes sense.

Yes

I music that way

And I amassed their vast catalog in multiple forms

There are a few songs that will essentially paralyze me. That i know of

Including buying lps contemporaneously, which were only imports back then

Right right

Contemporaneously.

?

I have a few as well

Language girl

Paralyze you in a good or less than good way?

Either

Some are biased up or down, others can take me whichever direction I feel that day

Many are just very, very sad songs

But not all

And hey!

I need to stay on the right side of that ship atm

With
My
ATM
Machine

Yes

Are you okay?

Yes yes ofc

Just being dramatic

Or stupid

You choose

Ofc means nothing to me in this subject, sir

Beg pardon

Ofc.

Of course

Prepositional sumthin

Dude

Not what i meant but mmmmmk

That consult on Arabic you showed me?

Yeah

You have mad skills

Thanks babe

Yeah

That was one section

Mad

😀

Lol

I am proud of you

I keep telling people I'm not stupid

For real!

I told you i kinda wrote someone's phd for them

I do not speak Arabic either

Yes you did!

Nuts

ASU l9l

How is this possible

Whaddya mean ASU

I mean that's where he got his doctorate

Ohh lol

I know people there

Lol

Hey Imma figure out feed my face here for a minute... * 30 or so

Might be pauses

So.... I'm like, wicked smart sometimes

I just wanted to acknowledge that

Yes, yes you are!

null

Lolz

You eat?

Yep!

I'm all stuffed

Weird huh

Yeah. Id much rather be the stuffed one

Are going to say something naughty

Well look at that

Like a sausage in a dinner roll

How do you like your gravy ma'am

Overflowing?

Lol what a strange selection of stickers for a search

Dang wtf

Scrolling
Scrolling

Scrolling
Scrolling

All together now!

Scrolling
Scrolling

C'mon, people!

O hai

Scrolling scrolling scrolling

Scroll back?

Sorry, i am about spent. Got a little ultra high without realizing or shopping ane i need to rest

No idea what i meant by shopiny

No worries babes!

Get your sleep

Yous toos!

May you have a good sleep

My precious one

You, too

Thx

Beaux reves de moi

Entre nous

Et toi!

Fuckkkk i am outta my head

Sleepses babe

2025-01-10T06:06:33

Good morning sweet lover!

Hey, you too!

Did you have a good sleep?

I think so, lol

Very sleepy now but oh well

How about you?

Same , same

Working?

Yeah

Should be pretty chill today 🤞

Kinda same!

Which would be great since i have some random ither stuff i need to take care of. Sorting out papers by date/diagnosis and submitting them so aflac gives me some money lol

Have you gotten a chance to peruse any literary materials santa left with you?

A little bit! The anatomy book eap

Especially

Did you ever go through the green bag?

Yes!

Hence the cansiter question, lol

Thank you!

Ahh lol

Somehow this green bag has miraculously filled again

Heh!

Was there anything especially you wanted to draw jy attention to?

Omg please come give me eyedrops

I need them too!

I have them, just struggling with application

null

Can i call off because i have a sleeping kitten on me?

Yep, the Americans with Cat Upon Them act protects this right

Correct 👌

Did you wver liaten to my favorite sounddtrack? Well, it's at the top of the list anyway. Fave is too specific

Which one is it?

Garden State

I don't think I did

You should

 ​👍​ to “ You should ” 

And maybe imagine the lens kf a coming of age story with some mind altering substances

Gracie abrams too. I think you might like her. Or imagine she's me ;)

ooOoo

??

Well you're cuter than her

Naw

I am kinda cute today though. Thought it might help me wake up lol

https://open.spotify.com/track/0ND8rF8oirMXtE59n585P6?si=QjMwPts-RM-ZIkwkPtPoVA

null

Cat calls!!!

The hair adornment is quite fetching :)

Yes you are very cute 🥰

null

null

Lulz

So true

One of many great reasons for aldi!

You are staying home all day?

Good point!

I'll wander up to the grocery store

Haven't thought much about else

Yep yep

What's on the grocery list today?

Cat olives
Maybe some sherBERT
I should get stuff to make salads. I should eat more veggies

Cat olives, eh?

Yep the little green ones with pimentos

I have two beasts that looooooove them

Oh for real?

Rama is nuts about them

There may be some here in a green bag....

Is hilarious

Oh?

Haha, yeah

What about teensy tiny bottles? Do you keep essentialy oils or something that you could use them for?

null

Like, ultra small

I do sometimes and I bought a case of little bottles, but these are nice too!

I am shaking a ton. I have no idea why. This does not feel good. Just another day, right?

My shaky baby :(

Do you take vitamin supplements?

I think just vitamin d. I have to be careful with what i take. I also take iron+C but that's a mineral

Ah yeah, that's fair

Like, even turmeric was a no

Oh damn

My arm is killing me

Wow turmeric huh. Can you eat it in food?

I just wonder about your nervous system

Yeah just not in supplement concentration

What do you wonder about it? I might have actual answers already

This does not feel good mentally or physically, whatever is happening

Idk maybe you have aliens laying eggs in your body

I wish I could help you rule out causes of these episodes

Right. Same.

Not bp
Not glucose
Not new med
Not onset of anything (i didnt take anything for like an hour before)
Not withdrawal of anything (still taking mental meds and all that)
Not fever
Not feeling chilly

2025-01-10T12:46:41

Aren't you done pretending to talk to the smart girl at work yet?

No, but I need a little break!

She knows too much!

Sounds cute too

Tiny hub photo. Looks cute AF though

O rly?

I feel like she's a total opposite catfish based on that thumbnail pic

Idk... Seems pretty nice

Probably rudely generous

2025-01-10T15:39:18

Hey babes

Bii

Boo

Bebe

Why on earth did you and i know about an issue (and i knew at least some of the root of the issue) before the director did??

But also, make this stopppppppppp

Its not as uncommon as you might think

Im still just bitter

Anyway

What are you bringing me for snax??

Well there's me

Pile o'drugs too plz

See teams for reference lol

We shoppin?

Winks!

Ummmm

Seriously.

Giant stacks of drugs.

I fucking hurt.

Giant. Check!

And no sour!

Did you order your af holiday gift?

Today's the deadline

I did
No idea what it was though
They're all so extravagant

Im excited for my new charging bulletin boatd or whatever

Where you at?

Coolidge & lake Lansing

Ummmm

I have a spouse here

And am still officially working

But yes to drugs and snax

Tell him to get lost lol

I would if i saw him

I'm actually at Kroger mow

Now

Meow

Lemme guess

Chips?

Yep!

Cat olives?

sherBERT

You stop that

And I have to go to Meijer pharmacy

I should be home by Sunday lol

Why the meijer?

Bc that's where her Rx are

Gods help us all

I miss my rite aid

Anything decent?

I bet she doesnt count the tablets...

Just norco

Zoloft lol

It's so dead in here. It's weird

I wish i could see you!!!

That said....

Guess what's a week away

The disappearance of my family

Are we going for a true crime, rom com, dark com, or smut titled work here?

Hmm, I'm not married to on idea

Do you have any better idea of the departure day yet?

I know, i know

Lol Sunday should be it fingers crossed

So like 9 days

Yeah

She needs Saturday to rest up because we have show on Friday

Yichhh

Lol

Decide on any sort of destination yet?

Not yet

I have been wondering though
Do we actually have to leave town? I'm not opposed but other people don't have to know the details

Any idea which days/dates might work better?

And short answer is no

Checking out... Gimme a few

So did L hit the road yet?

Lol I'm halfway home and just remembered Meijer pharmacy

Dammit!

OMG I'm seventh in line
Fml

Awww! Hit the road for...?

Idk I heard Beasley is throwing a parry

Party

Any reason will do

If that was true, I'm sure hed have been there setting up

Lol

How bout those drugs-n-snax?

I'm in the damn queue woman

Whaddya want here lol

Good. Plenty of plannin tine!

I mean i kinda want you [every preposition] me but whatever

Yummmmmm

Suddenly I like prepositions

I like conjunctions too

null

Good point

Aww!

💖

Would it be weird to overnight somewhere on the 19th? (Sunday)

Otherwise the next weekend is probably best

That was actually kind of my plan

Cool, cool

It appears I am open those days

Maybe I'll snag the next Wednesday off

Which?

22?

Yeah

Oh lovely

But it's totally fine to work too

Oh I'm planning a work out

Work life balance you know

Lol

Did you have an idea of where for Sunday, if the stars align?

Not offhand

Is a star ceiling projector too juvenile for you?

Impractical more than anything

Gotcha

Imma also need a list, btw

List?

OMG 25 minutes in this line

https://www.menshealth.com/sex-women/a19532949/kama-sutra-sex-positions/

Helpful?

Finally at the window

Lololol

OMG on my way home fr

Duuuuuude

Whassup

You dislike the reading material? :(

Oh, I already forgot lol

Forgot....?

Sorry I'm working on it!

But what do you think you're working on?

Bettering myself by reading about sex

You?

Wondering what you would do if you were me and also looking for sex betterment

I'd start by getting a willing partner

Someone fun to work with that you care about and cares about you

Then watch porn for 2 two hours!

Or just get naked an

Wait a sec

Are you insinuating something

Took some rx. Hopefully will feel better soon

I am explicitly telling you i want to know specific things you want to do. Any, all, what can i do for you and for me and for us?

🇨🇿

Omg

🇨🇿M8

Lol

But in all seriousness, i want to be absolutely everythinh you could want

That is very generous!

Maybe a little selfish too

Hee hee!

And i need you to be selfish too

I shall draft a demand letter and send it to you forthwith

Are there still things you havent done and want to?

Oh sure!

You told me one not long ago

Idk if it's physically ok for you though

With your arm

Did I ask you about physical or vocational therapy tldor that?

*for that

How is it?

Circulation

Strength

What is it we might want to do?

Your sexual future depends on honest answers

Idk what you called it

But involved basically inverting you for my extreme pleasure between your legs with my face

Or you can just you know ride my face

I

Oops

Both of those are extremely doable even right this minute

Idk if i explained the first one accurately, since you think i need arm strength for it

My shoulders are kind of on the bed, my ass against the upper part of your chest, and it's a kitty cat buffet spread open for you at face dipping level

Yesss that's the one I was thinking of

So, put that on the list please!

My arms need no strength for that

If you were going to be completely dominant, what would you want?

Well idk might involve a whole story or plot or something

I just wanna have all kinds of fun with you and get out of my head so I can just show you , and do things in the moment

Yes please! I really really want to get drunk with you

Yay! Yeah! We should do all the things

And if you want to plan

Plan on different wearables

I love girly and I think you are cute AF that way

I have a weird lust for you to make a calculated move with me at some point too

So sexy bra & panties are cool
Upskirts is cool

Panties dropping or to the side

I'm sorry you said something?
Lol

No no, you continue

My hot little gf here

Well then idk if you can handle what else i was going to ask for

Oh I'm just getting started

Your turn

Not in a mean way, but i want you to want and need me so hard that your thrust goes hard enough to take my breath away in a sharp, gutteral inhale of a gasp

Ty I will definitely remember this 😊

Does it appeal to you or not so much?

Oh yeah. I will make this a goal

Your turn

Do you have a see-through top, bra, or similar?

Yes, to me

What do YOU mean by see through ?

I want to see your boobs

Somewhat clearly

And not just naked

correct

Don't overthink it :)

I think i can make this work with what i have

Or i get new things

I'm sure you have it covered

A-har

What would gratify you the best?

Like I said, don't overthink it. A sheer lingerie top or gown would suffice

In general. If i were to focus just on you and your pleasure

What if i change my mind before then?

You can always change your mind

Something in mind?

I love the way you suck me
I'd like to transition from me standing to
Well wait though
Details you see

Starts with you kneeling and playing with me with your mouth and hands

Make this comfortable any way you like, to excess even

Ohhhh fuck

Yes. This. Tell me all of this!

Get me good and going hard

Then I think I'm just gonna lay you right back there

Use your pillows for a butt reat

Rest

And have at you

Unless ..

Ohhh. My. Goddddf.

Please. Yes, please

See well maybe

Oh I know!

From there you sit on the edge of the bed, first

Then

You lean back and lift your legs and guess what?

Dang I'm getting wiggly lol

Tell me what happens next

I think at this point it's actually good your panties are still on

But no matter, I'm going to just pry them aside a bit

Lol I've leaked in me knickers!

Much more than I thougt

Keep going babe. I need to know what you do to me next

Do you?

I mean I do , you

At some point

Y

E

S

But that's in the next episode. Only $5

Nope! Wait! Sorry

You have the promo code so it's free!

Ok so

I've been having fun , probably licking you silly, panties aside (literally)

But I think now I should like the panties off

Don't you?

I do

Im very surprised you havent just fucked the life out of me. Lifted me from when i was sucking you off on my knees, spun me halfway round, then pounder me on the edge of the bed

All in good time

I have one more for you

Yes!?

A "treat especiale"

I know you understand this but you should know I picked this up from a Canadonian on YT

A piece of resistance, you might say

Oh wait we're not there yet

Ouai, d'ac...

Sorry

Back up

Yes indeed

So up go your legs and off go the panties

And away they go!

But I'm not done licking you yet

I'll rock your hips back a bit further and trace my way from your vagina down

Skowly

And slowly lol

Not wkowly

Oh noes!

Mmm?

And lick your petite asshole

Fuccckkkkkkkkk

Im breathing so hard

Had myself going for a minute!

And I will probably take my time here because this is new to me

And maybe play with your pussy at the same time

Do you fancy double insertion?

That is to say, anal and vaginal

I fancy everything with you

Heh!

I admit I'm not exactly close to wanting this

But porn ... Has left me with this uncommitted opinion

Sometimes it looks truly awful, and other times truly hot

And part of my lack of understanding is my lack of understanding anal sex

Just to lay the cards out lol

Youve felt me. I dont think doubling up is possible

Yeah, you're right really. You don't have a lot of room

Sorry, love

That's fine, no don't even

It was just a question, not a desire

Maybe double play is more accurate

I hope so :)

Well at some point I'm going to want to feel your tits

In my hands

And in my mouth

Again

And if I'm still hard I would ask

I do plan on trying to get on top again

If I can make love you right now

Yay!

Hop on anytime!

You plan on making love to me though

I just realized I've been smiling for a while and didnt need to take Ativan after all

Yay! 🎉

I would like possible some other things once you finish your train of thought

Oh I know!

Now you need to flip over on your back and head just over the edge of the

Where was this again?

Uber backseat?

Maybe 🤷‍♀️

Moms living room?

What are you asking?

Nvm

Nooooooo!!!

Actually

Could be your bed

It isnt too far from the realm of possibility for you and i to actually fuck in her living room someday

Lol

Mall bathroom?

Her house is just over in brighton

Aeroplane wc?

I can't wait for warm weather

Bookstacks

Like I just want to roll out a blanket in a field and love ya

Would you?

Heck yeah!

But.... how?

Grassy ass secluded meadows are the bomb

All you need is a CD couple blankets

Also helps to avoid buggy areas and such

In daylight?

Yeahhhhh

Good out of the way woodsy places are soooo nice

In the sweet summertime

And honestly

In late May

Lol

You lol

But I will show you

😊

Maybe but this month lol

Maybe not

When you've been inside of me, have you also used your hand to play with me?

A little bit, yea

Yes

But I think 80% of the time we are face to face

Why is that notable? Couldnt it be all 3?

It's hard to finger you when we're smashed together!

Oh. Right.

I wish I had another hand and another mouth

I would just devour you

Am i correct that i dont let you play with my clit so much?

I would say you've called limits a few times, yes. You are very sensitive no surprise!

But I get to play plenty

I am understanding the pressure tolerance

When for example

I use my tongue

Idk it's like I somehow sneak up on you because I might have been trying with your clit for a little bit

And then you make fun noises

And ask funny questions

It's adorable

Absolutely adorable

Wait what ?? Questions like how?

Oh yeah

You start asking

What
What
What are you doing
What

You don't always get the full question out

I get confused lol

It's adorable

Then I'm guessing not everyone does that

You're writhing at this point

No I never had a girl do that :)

Aww

null

Aww ty!

I really dont know how you do what you do where exactly i like it though

I'm zeroing in, no worries

10/10 will do again

Lol

But I'm correct that my spots are different than most

Certainly different than who I've known

With caveat for small sample size

Well not to slut shame myself, but based on feedback I've heard and your sample size, there's a solid consensus

Yay me!

I think i can kind of tell you how it's weird

Lol

My points of personal interest are closer to the entryway. Right?

To be certain
You have quite a few favorites outside

But you also have a shallow inside and a deep inside place that you like

Can you reach the deep inside with your fingers?

Only just and only with just the right alignment

And tbh I'm not sure what that actually looked kike

But I think I just barely grazed your cervix once

Like once fr

I know the spot lol

And you're it

Now you're making me all squirmy again lol

Yeah I love exploring your pussy for things that you like

Cause I'll do it all day for ya babe

We need to purge your brain or all these fear and anxiety hormones

Give you a nice dose of

Calm

Exciting

And calm

And safe

I do have a select few more anxieties, sex-wise

Anything you want to talk about?

I would much rather you just guess them

I feel like they're standard but maybe not?

You would 😆

I don't want to guess. Our past experiences are so far apart

I mean in mind, not in time

These aren't mindfuckeries. Literal embarrassment concerns

Aww
I mean you don't have to say. It's ok

You won't laugh at me?

If i tell you

My goodness no

One thing has happened once to me and it was with you and i had to literally ask someone wtf had happened

The other concern is that if i let myself go full force orgasm, i already feel like me vag will turn inside out. You know this. What if it's so intense that all the other contents of my body explode everywhere? I would literally die being so embarrassed

As much as you feel this, I think it's a trick of the mind

No less intense. But not deadly

I kind of know based on a lot of other things about me that it wont happen but still

I hate the idea of me being gross to you

It hasn't happened, I'm not worried about it baby

I'm not worried about it if it does happen either

I understand

It's terribly embarrassing
Things happen sometimes
It is ok

I will try and trust that

Do you even know what my first point was referencing?

No

Uggghhhhhh

But anyway

I dont even want to put the words here (then again it was kind of your fault lol)

It was the one time after we tried some doggie style. You evidently pumped a lot of air into my kitty canal. When you left the channel, all the air fell out too. And made noise. And felt weird af.

There's a word it

I know

I dislike the word

Some words are just sharp

I actually did not notice, though I've experienced many times

I also dislike the word. Honestly it makes the stigma worse than it needs to be

It's nbd

Seriously

Anything else?

Have you had this issue before me?

Issue is bad word really

Those are the major ones that would embarrass me

Which issue? Air pockets?

Yeah exactly

That's kind of a multi answer

Not really

Ok fair

No worries

I dont know if you know what i mean though

You know, it's nbd really

We can bury it for the moment

Or if you want to explore this thing we can certainly continue

Just saying you can bail without prejudice.

I always want to tell you things

I know :)

And you also like closure on questions and explanations

It's a great skill

I'm terrible at it myself

We still have many open topics from when i couldnt sleep

Lol dang it

Anyway, it's sort of happened before but i didnt recognize it because things were hard and fast and a lot else was going on

This was NOT the case at all with you. You're larger than i am is all, lol

I say

We have a smoke

And a libation

And a solid afternoon/evening reserved

For us

What do you think of this idea

I thought that was already the plan, actually

There are many hotels on the Westside by the highway

Near Horrocks's

I'll book Sunday night

We can go to Horrocks and get goodies, and then have fun

And have a bit of food

And go again!

Lol

I can book this time

But maybe we wait til we're more sure

Up to you

You know you can drink while you shop there

Yeah! Is it so Sunday night?

Seems a silly question but things were like that for me growing up

I think sunday after noon

Yeah I'm good with the plan
You don't have to buy you know

I take too much from you now anyway

We can discuss that later

May have to fz you soon just fyi

Where's your fam btw?

Do you mean the wife upstairs or the fam in Arkansas? Or something else

Rlh

You hadnt said anything about home today

She's out of the way in the usual places

Omg

Has she ever had a job? Im not trying to be mean. But, like, what was her life plan?

She did work after babies grew a bit. About 10 years, little more maybe

She stressed about work a lot actually

But back injury

Actually at work

But not recognized until quite some time later. Long story short, ended working. Begin period of unpleasant medical procedures

I don't care what you ask, it's fine

What did she do? For work

Are you going to be upset if i ask things? You said it was fine. I know what "it's fine" means in my world

Literally it's ok
Don't worry about it

Now let me think

Long time ago

East Lansing vet clinic

Was 7-11

Worked there for few years, was friends with owner

This is same 7-11

I used to ride my bicycle to even as a 7 year old. I did not have to cross busy streets! Which is remarkable considering the separation

Well whatever happened and I think then she worked at Preuss

Which at that time was located at Haslett & Okemos roads, kitty corner from the present day fire station

Few years
Got to know family well
Son was in school with family's kids

Preuss

Was an intense matriarchy at the time
And one day Rebecca and momma got into it and that was basically the first nd

ffs
It was the end

We kinda knew the guys

Older generation, like me

What do you call her at home if you have to address her?

Hun

Or honey

What's the best thing you know about me?

Oh my what a question

Do you love me?

Do you remember why I bought this?

null

I do love you

The tape.... escapes me

Color coding aomething

Yes that makes sense

Cord wrapping?

Do you know?

I didn't quite understand this substance

Aquariuming?

It's cool. Sticky tape you know

Maybe?

Hmm

Do you have an answer?

null

Kind of unpleasant actually

It likes skin a bit too much

Do not re recommend

Ohhh

I have silks for that

Oh I didn't necessarily mean to imply anything ma'am

Answer the questjon please

Which?

Answer?

Tape? The big secret?

What is the best thing you know about me?

Oh lol

I have follow ups too. You should be able to guess some

How can I pick a best

This article does not do the question justice, nor the answer

Okay then

You are the perfect size and shape

You have a darling eastern euro face

You are vulnerable, but open about it, at least to me

That's very sweet

The next q is, as of now, what is the worst or most unpleasant thing you know about me?

Hnm

Hmmm mmm

It is okay to have more than one

The most unpleasant thing I "know" is how much you have suffered without respite, and I worry your spirit is very fragile, and I can only do so much but I want to do more

Parts of that statement stand out to me

It's my internalized understanding
I can be a bit dramatic, especially when I care.
I think you know that already.

You said "'know'c. Why like that?

Why do you say suffered?

And you say i have a spirit

Sure , I can explain all

Scare quotes
Because I don't actually know this
It's a view of a puzzle I've assembled in my head based on what I remember

Suffered
A word I chose, admittedly, for its strength.
Because I'm guilty of trying to convince you to reject those who have outright abused you

Spirit
A word I chose not referring to spiritually but rather a thirst for life. I want to believe you will have a more optimistic world view if you can separate yourself physically and emotionally from the things that stress you

Like a poor baby flower

That got trampled a lot

And really smashed and kicked around

Gross

Sorry

But still life wants to live and keeps going

That is the sweetest and truest analogy ive heard

And I waltz in at this awkward moment for you and I just want you

I want you to know that you matter

I appreciate you

Sniffles

I love you

So just be ok
Ok

And I'll do anything to help

Anything I can

I literally cannot understand where all of the care from you comes from

Some part of my psyche wanted to raise a girl. To be strong, and smart, and in control of her destiny and her dreams

And in rl I needed a girlfriend

I'm a fucking mess lol

Ironically, Psyche is a girl. And her love is cupid. God of love, destiny, etc

Im the mess here, doll

You're the doll here, babe

Would you know what i meant if i said i had imagined a more litetal meaning to that question?

Well that all came from the same place

Brb babe!

Hello!

Hi!

Pause

2025-01-11T06:36:25

Hey love baby!

2025-01-11T08:58:15

Hiii!!!!

How are you?

So far so good:)

That's good

Plans?

Must wake up first :)

How now spirit, wither wander you??

Good questions. Good questions

I will be unavailable for chatting much of the day

Alright

Watcha doing?

Baby non bio niece's first birthday party. In the northlands

null

That be her

Ah yes! You did mention

Aww

I am literally gifting her a bookshelf, book tent, books, and plush book characters

Oh my what a to-do!

Good on you!

Lemme see if i can find a pic of the bookcastle

Cannae find atm

Ignore the grime - do i look chonksy in this?

null

No, you look great!

Aww thx!

Little mermaid shirt lol

OMG I didn't catch that lol

I need to clean your mirror!

Fo sho!

I have an idea with it too ;

Oh? I wonder if it's the same idea I have

Pray tell!

It would give us nice views of us lovin on each other :)

2025-01-11T17:46:32

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OMG the cake!!!

Lol yep

We cute tho

Yes you are!

How you?

I'm good :)

How was the birthday party?

It was good 😊

Headed home now

How about your day?

It's been pleasant

My catnap this afternoon really made me feel relaxed

More so than I expected

So I have a smile on my face

2025-01-11T21:18:28

Yeah? Any reason?

Just got home. Quite the long haul day

My poor baby

No reason here. Just chill af

Kisses for your neck xxx

2025-01-11T22:41:59

null

2025-01-12T08:06:30

null

2025-01-12T09:29:38

Good morning babe!

null

How you?

Pretty good:)

null

Awwws! You caught a grayger!

How was your yesterday? What'd you do?

Or she caught me?

Mostly caught up on some domestic chores (between naps lol)

Lol cool

Like what?

Oh let's see I did a few loads of laundry, cleaned the cat food bench and bowls, vacuumed my hobby area

I was going to mop but it got kinda late

Good for you on the cleaning!

I think things are continuously looking better here

Are you ever able to go to grand ledge? Like, on a specific errand?

Could be maybe

Should be a yes lol

How's arkansas looking?

Same I guess

Last night she asked me if I was aware she's going to Arkansas

Which means she forgot when she told me a week ago and forgot when I asked about it on Thursday

Oof

No shade, but found that interesting

Why?

It's kind of unusual for her to forget something like this

Idk

Oh

Is she using substances more?

The itinerary will literally come down to how she feels on Saturday

Gotcha

She's smoking a lot of weed. Not really new. But that plus the increased Zoloft I guess has an affect

Is she high all the time?

Kinda, I guess
Especially as the back pain gets worse, which is the long term trend.

She tries to keep the Norco to a minimum

Hmm

Okay thanks

This is not judgy, I'm legot trying to understand how that works

She chooses strains that are recommended for pain and such

It kinda works

Do you think similar might qork for me? My confusion is because i need to function & work better for mwle, but the kind of getting high element is counterlogical

It is antithetical to working, at least I think it is

That said, my friend from HS swears it helps him focus on coding. He's a PhD in Mathematics and is literally designing software to model cellular processes as part of cancer research

Huge brain

I should try *something*

Sorry to dip oit, but i will be afk for a while. Gotta phone charge

Ok babes np

Text all you'd like, I'll reply when i can

🇨🇿

Still topics from a few days ago waiting on you!

2025-01-12T13:04:27

Heh you might regret that reminder

My feelings about self-harm (1): Confusion and sadness are the dominant feelings. It also scares me. And this precedes you; I first learned about self-harm among Millennials and GenZ when my non-bio niece in AR made a mess of herself. She's morbidly obese, grew up in abject poverty, had a horrible mother (who died young from complications of diabetes). Her father is the sick brother-in-law the fam is trekking to AR to visit. (She's fine now. Still 400+ lbs, but tackling life successfully.) Then I learned my closest coworker was a cutter. He shared it with me. I don't ask about it. You explained it to me in a way that helps me understand why you did similar things, but it makes me very uneasy. I don't want to hide from the knowledge, but I don't know what to do with it as someone who cares about you.

Mike treachery (2, 3): I'm not super clear on this, but it seems like he liked you but wanted to keep you at arm's length. Idk why. It is surprising to me how long you two kept this going. And he didn't jump your bones? Guy's either got a lot of self-control, or he didn’t actually care (and I don't believe the latter, based on your story).

Job satisfaction (4): I can only relate my own experience here. I do the extras not because I want to be recognized, but because my satisfaction comes from a happy customer and a job well done in my own view. I am always my harshest critic. Recognition is nice and all, but I've found that few actually understand what it takes to do the thing worthy of being recognized. I don't care about that. And by that I don't mean "I'm bitter and dislike that people don't get it". I mean "My customer is happy. I know I did a good thing. The fools around me are content to do minimum necessary and that's their loss." I legit don't worry about what others think any more. Life is too short.

What sexual gratification looks like (5): Kinda funny, but as I'm writing this I realize my answer for this is kind of similar to the job satisfaction one. I know I did a good job if my customer is happy and I'm happy with how I serviced her. And in many ways, that's good enough for me. I suppose some of what I feel here is learned behavior because I've spent a long time having vanilla sex and, you know, after 30 years you might just get to a point where this is normal. I do have fantasies that are out of that box but in the moment I think I default to what I know. And I'm ok with that. I'm not saying I don't want to try other things. You know how I say I need to get out of my head? This is what I'm talking about. How to escape the learned behavior and try something new? This is not a well-developed skill for me.

Phd guy (6): I don't know enough about this relationship to give you any feedback. All I can gather is the guy has kinks, but I don't know what he did or didn't do that left you upset.

2025-01-12T15:34:13

null

Awww

Chez ma mere maintenant a demain

Oh! D'accord ttyl

No, totally fine

Was just busy til now

Didnt even have time to read your replies yet

Heya

Hieee :)

How are you?

I'm good

Chillin

How is your day?

It's.... okay

I am so tired. Nothing is working.

Stopped at a pretty cool estate sale

Came out to brighton where i am now

Really wish i was with you. I want to talk but my eyes keep closing

Awws sounds like nap time:)

2025-01-12T19:38:14

Hiiiii

Oh hi there

Que pasta?

Feel like the life is draining out of me. Nbd.

How was your day? What'd you do?

Heyy!

Not much
Cleaned sold old classical records today and gave most of them a spin

You did what with the records?

Cleaned (ultrasonic) and listened

Ah, okay. Did you see what you'd sent though?

Classical??

Oh haha! No I didn't sold dem. And I dinna shoot the deputy

You hates the classical though?

No no, not hate.

Unfamiliar but receptive

In some ways
Zero patience for other things

Hmm ok

Think about next weekend much at all?

I think about it a lot :)

Oh? Comme quoi?

I just hope everyone has their shit together and GTFO lol

They're all going to be dragging ass Saturday because metal show

And RLH takes a week to pack and never gets it done

And I think I should get some Arkansas hills points for what I just spun there ... That is totally something I can hear her mom saying 🤣

Lolz

Assuming they do gtfo?

On-time departure 10am. Could be late up to 1400

Or delayed to next day, "early" this time

Assume you have me and we have a room

Then?

In all likelihood

I'm going to seduce you right then and there, starting with kissing your face and your neck

You wanna go fast or slow?

Slow at first

Then fast

How do you want me?

Imma start with you on your back on the bed

And at some point, have you get on hands and knees at the edge of the bed

And how else?

Any anti vanilla?

We could throw some towels on a chair. I'll take you forwards and backwards on The arm if we can make it work

And it doesn't destroy your back

And

I definitely need you to ride my face

I'm game for all that

More? Dont be shy

Pound you over the edge of the bed

Howso?

You lean forward over the edge

Hmm
Or on your back

Yum town either way

Oh i see

I have a silly question

Go for it!

Have you eaten me when you weren't on the bed with me?

I'm thinking not

I should like to try it with you standing

Why standing?

I had an alternate idea

Yeah what's that?

You on your knees on the floor (if you can, we can pad you with a pillow), me with my legs spread open on the edge of the bed

Oh yes that is definitely on the menu :)

Was it before? Have you done this?

I'm not sure
I don't think so

All right, then

Babe I'm fading out

Sweet dreams lover

Xoxox

Ditto babe

null

2025-01-13T06:30:16

Good morning babe!
I know you're probably about to head out. Just wanted to say 💖

2025-01-13T08:21:29

How are you?

Not too bad
Are you working today?

Yeah latet

Is everything ok?

Yeah. Had a u of m appt. Sorry, thought you knew

Ok! I probably forgot :)

How are you?

All is well. Slow day at work!

Good for you!

What went on yesterday? Anything worthy of note?

Not much at all actually

What's going on today?

Sure not much. RLH had a psych appointment earlier. I reckon she is out shopping now. Cats are catting around.

It is a terrrrrrrrible day out

Where's she shopping,

?

Beats me

She's been gone for nearly 3 hours though.

I cannot stop yawning!

That's a long time

Esp when nothing fun opens that early

How bout you just disappear for those hours??

Oh she's probably at the nail place kitty corner from Walgreens

I'd love to disappear lol. Finance guy wants to talk in a bit

Which guy? Lemme make a call lol

Accounting Maaaan!

Lol

But seriously, who?

Sam Gustafson

And special guests Kim Arnold and Laurie Vujnov

Ew no. You're on your own

Lol

I'm just there to shrug my shoulders

All I have to say is "the data have spoken"

What do they want to know?

Tell them to check our google reviews if they have questions

Chez moi

"Why is profit sharing 2 mil higher than projected?"

Oh. Well. That's.... weird

Ask chatgpt?

2025-01-13T13:50:57

Howd it go?

Lol it was fine
Lots of grumbling
Got myself a little research task

Ooh?

Okay but wait

They dislike the profit sharing

??

We dislike when we think it's going to cost X and find out it actually costs X + 4 million lol

Explain like I'm 5 and it's cake

You work hard and buy a cake.
Your mean friend comes around and says "tomorrow I'm going to take a quarter slice from you". You're not happy about this but at least it's only 1/4 of the cake .

The next day the mean friend comes around and takes half the cake, shrugs, and says "deal with it".

Who bought the cake, me or my employer? I want the cake. I worked for the cake. Employer should share the cake.

That is how profit sharing equates in my brain. Idk if that's the same here

Are you busy all the nights this week?

Dough know

You?

The cake (profit) is something you worked hard for and earned. You knew you were going to have to share some and you expected it to be a certain amount.

When the actual amount turned out to be greater, it's frowny face time

2025-01-13T16:18:07

Company earns cake

I work for company

Company shares cake with me

I am happy because i have more cake for me

Company will deal

N'est-ce pas?

It's accurate

The company viewpoint was the subject of the meeting. It's many million dollars payout and it was underestimated. This is tough on budgets. Imagine setting aside $28 for MLK festivities. Then the actual cost is $32. You have to come up with $4 you didn't plan on spending. Now multiply the problem by 1 million.

Are there not moveable and transferrable line items in that budget that can be shifted?

Is there not some kind of incidental budgetary category?

There's zero from a rollover from the prior year's budget?

Surely these oversights are easily mitigated with a multi billion dollar company overseen by relative oligarchs if i could do it with zero education or experience as a 19 year old coed

Yes, but $4 is still a lot of money

In a different way of speaking, though, if we went to tanger outlet mall in howell is it too much to go to main street in howell? What if we hadn't planned on it but could find the time?

(Not actually asking, this is hypothetical and alluding more to my point)

What if going would make me happier and in turn generate a better trip?

(But really we should go sometime!)

I am freeeeeee babes!

Got lots to talk about with you

Yay! Freedom!

If i was going to walk to the kroger pharmacy but decided I'd rather go to the bakery, would that be a huge deal?

That's roughly 28 minutes vs 32 minutes

Howell Tanger is 28 miles and another 4 to main street

Perspective. Maybe offer them some..... lol

Sooooo

Hehe let me know how that works out for ya

Nah thanks

That's a you kinda thing

So what's uppa you cheeky cakes?

You tell me babes!

Rlh ever migrate backM

Yeah around 1600

Uhhhmmmmm

Well she did nails
And apparently waited at the lab (umsparrow) for 2hr

Nope

Anyway

Do you have any freedoms this week?

Whatcha wanna talk about?

Honestly unsure
Except I'm slated to go to Flint again Friday

Right

Do you like this music?

Yeah, there's definitely a place for it on my cd shelf as well. It's good fun live.

Not for every day listening mind you

Anything on your mind?

Not a lot
People are getting ill. Snow is getting decent

Yes

Oh but hey

Mayyyyyyyyyybe you get to fuck me soon?

Be kinda nice

Oh I haven't forgotten that :)

And how do you feel about it

Like they should maybe leave tomorrow to beat the snow lol

I literally lol

Fucking awesome!!!

That's the spirit babe

I'm really oddly inclined to spread super open for you

Damn. This is going to be really enjoyable

Was that an honest question? Fr

I cannae waite to b'treen my lass's sweet theyes

My best Robert Burns

Oh you should know this

I had to read chauver and beowulf in original script for my undergrad degree, so.....

*chaucer

I dinnae read shite gyrl

You should know

I have read..... some

My rents would hang with others from the college and works and whatnot

And celebrate Robert Burns birthday

Every year

And I got to go a few times

As a wee lad

It made no sense at all, but it was a good time

January 25 it is

Tis but less than a fornight away

Aye

I absolutely looked that up befire you told me

But I was not inclined on the pen

I feel like maybe that was my parents anniversary?

I wasted my youth on theuth I sthienthe!!!

I literally do not know this

Lol

Eh?

The adults at the party, all people I knew from previous parent social events

And I babsitted for a few, years later

Lol bab

Anyway

I say this, because this is the world I grew up in, in so many ways

Kinda weird to think of it now lol

Many have died

Right. Mine is-was similar but different

I obv always gravitated to older

I want you to see something

Go ahead

It'll take me a couple minutes.. please go on

Just that being the youngest means you outlive all your friends and teachers and heroes and circles

null

Oh i loves him!!!

Merci
That's my big news

I thought of a question for ponderance

What could i give to you, just for youuuuuu as an ultimate sexual experiential gift?

I do not need an immediate answer

remind me to bring my pills

Yes. And?

I'm begging you to tell me what you want. It's yours. No judgement, no hesitations

Kinked or sweet or fucked or fun or weird or gratuitous or lewd.... i want you to push me in the best ways

I thought I sent you a decent fantasy last night (wasn't it?) You were there for that innit?

Now maybe add a maid outfit

And

Idk

A feather duster lolol

Did you want to go to the sex shop fr?

I wanna go

I dinnae recall so much hier soir

Yes

Ahem you dinnae?

You mean cirillas?

Common loves

Right, cirillas is the only one I know around here

There's one in flint lolololol

Lions den

Larger

Oddly enough

That is literally the only other one I've been to

What'd you get?

Will have to pause shortly just so you know

I legit don't remember I was forever ago

Ok

Does rlh have a kink side?

not really
No
I guess

I make up for it lol

We do

☺️

Ifff you had some toys in mind for use this weekend?

On, in, with, you, me, both?

I'd love it

Oh sure

I kinda have a lottttttt of ideas

I'm familiar with vibes, dildos, clit suckers

Don't be shyyy

Whatever floats your boat I'm not sure what you like?

Same

Ok lol bring them all

Wayy too mab6

Youve seen the closet

Show off

Lol

Most brand new

Awesome

Seriously, you take being prepared to a new level

It's amazing

Bring a skinny vibrator

Pausing for now.... I'll bring an assortment. And games

Ok. :)

2025-01-14T05:45:10

Good morning!

Hey you!

How are you?

In desperate need of a shower but doing fine

Why desperately?

Too many smells

What are you up to today?

null

You?

Oh are you working

Yep

Did yesterday too

Poor baby

Feel a little like death too but whatevs

Oooof. Starting to feel the ickkkkkkk i sometimes feel. Unfun.

But great for rage motivation! Let's use it to be productive!

For reals might wanna use your help today and tomorrow and forever

What can I do for you?

Immediately? Quell my profuse diuphoresing

Today? Maybe we get me some resumes. And jobs. Piles o cash.

Plus tard? Organize, shop, service, stories, sharing

Well.

Sounds like a plan

Well was for something different, but yes

null

Less than ideal. Mur.

Stay away from the unwashed masses!

Literally no choice

This feels like hit garbage, jsyk. The upanddowniny

null

https://open.spotify.com/track/4PvD06Pmbm2rHG2JjSlElF?si=VQEOxQtMSPCwnXAiCu20Ew

2025-01-14T13:02:49

How's it going?

2025-01-14T14:18:19

Good good. I just did an hour training with a protege for profit sharing

At the vet now with Bala

Training whom now?

What is wrong with kittah?

He's got a chronic infection that gives him a cough from time to time. He's been getting a shot of antibiotics that does a great job of keeping it at bay

I'm training Paul Hicks

He is the new you?

May also need to cry at you for a while at how much i wish i could just give up and be sick. Or not be sick. Cant really do either. The level of suckkkksitude (comparable to altitude) is just.... [vague gesture if i could]

Yes i am aware this is Neverending and i am a crybaby wussisnack

My poor little T-Rex baby !

😞

I am..... bleh

null

0/10

Do not recommend

Ohh
We need to get to the bottom of this!

Christjesus yes

I have no clue

But also....

null

Not like I'm goinded in layers

*grounded

I have a cardigan. And a tank top. Scarf is not scarfing

As in, does not create extra warmth

My baby trex arm is so fucking cold feeling

Also

null

Reasonable pants. Prob actually too light for rn

2 sock layers

Dry grippy shoes

You look pretty :)

I do NOT but thanks

I think i look a little like death

Been a verrrrrry long time since i washed this mop o hair

Need a very lengthy shower too

Seems like a lot of effort tbh

Well I finally took a shower lll

Lol

Well, thats one of us today

Baby step, t

I need help logic-ing something please

It's an "if..., then..."

So very literal logic

Righto

IF

I have no actual (elevated temp greater than 99.5*F temp) fever

and

I am not hypothermic

and

My bp is within acceptably normal range

and

My glucose level is within acceptable range for the parameters given for it

THEN

Nothing is wrong

Right?

What do i do to fix it?

I know the symptoms of feeling i have and previous disgnoses for them, but the vitals do not support my previous experiences

So i am at a loss

I also had more than adequate sleep last night

Very information. Thank you for this.

And what symptoms? You mentioned chills, particularly your arm yeah? Which arm/s? What else?

It's too bad you're allergic to capcaisin

We'll figure this out

I feel overall cold, but I'm not cold. Kind of like a rigid core and shivery and ultra tight musculature and like my body is just stiffffff

Right arm feels colder to me on the inside. Is not actually colder

Symptomatically i would typically think i am in shock, or going into it

I & O does not seem different

If that helps you

Ok

How is your hydration? Just a guess

I would say typical for me, or less than i usually get

Because i have been super sweaty

But i don't really drink water to begin with

And ive had what i usually consume

Not thirsty, and also not thirstier

What would help you assess that better?

Did you have pre surgery labs? CBC?

Yeah, kind of

Which levels do you want? I cant screenshot them

Oh wait maybe i can

Hematocrit

Plz

Would that have a different name?

HCT?

Okay google says yes

The last hct level i have is from 18 august 2024

It was 44.5

And my glucose is right this second 65

And my temp is 99.0

And i can only remember eating 1 real thing today and aome gumnies

Ok ty

That is helpful

Maybe you need a fat dose of vitamin D

What about neuropathy?

Sorry. Had to treat low glucose.

I fucking hate this

Do you mean literal vitamin D? I take that. 5000 IU daily

What about neuropathy?

It is also occurring to me that i do a really shitty job of caring for myself. Like, fuck.

Poor baby :(

I give up

null

I'm so sorry babe! It's no fun when you're cold from the inside and just can't shake it.

From what you've told me, the resonating concepts are

Circulatory
Slow moving and not well-oxygenated blood is not keeping cells happy. Tissues also unhappy, crampy, cold, feel strained

I am no longer cold

Yay!!!

But now an alien is literally...

I am just miserable and pissy and sad and angry and icky and i hate it. Like, the gross that i feel.... i hope it doesnt become more

I am just done

Right right

Rx

Hot soup

Crackers if ya like em

I already had dinner

Ok

Then you march straight to bed young lady

Or fight me lol

Nono you dont

Out with it

I have been in bed since you asked my hematocrit

Fiiiine

Good

Good job

Wasn't much of a choice

But thank you

Aye

You know other blood values from lab perspective, yeah?

Some of them

You only asked my hct

Lol right bc I was on a crusade to prove you are dehydrated

How'd that go for you

44% is fine. It changes all the time, but if you were fine then you probably are now

I am defeated in battle

I feel like you maybe didnt pay attention to the whole explanation

I certainly did!

Okay sure

And I haven't put forward the neuropathy scenario

But I can't tell what you feel from here you know

I am interested in your neuropathy scenario

But again, what did your mind extract from my hct explanation?

What were you aiming for?

If you had told me 49% I would have pursued a dehydrated theory

Right

And what if i hadnt had that tested in months?

It is a bit dated
Otoh this is a theory I've been clamped on like dog with bone or something lol

Not any more

I will look elsewhere

FWIW i am dehydrated. Chronically.

August was the last hct

Well then
There's that

Which?

You are in fact dehydrated

Yes

Always

Then you also have my diagnosis

I can prescribe

Something but it will take a while

And insurance probably will not cover it

You need a hot tub

And a person in the hot tub with you

You see

I abhor this recommendation so far but i will hear you out

Fwiw

WBC
8.9

RBC
5.08

HGB
14.1

HCT
44.5

PLT
168

Amylase
27

Lipase
25

EGFR
>60

Glucose
84

Urea nitrogen
11

Creatinine
0.85

Sodium
138

Potassium
4.0

Chloride
104

CO2
26

Calcium
9.68

Anion gap
3

Absolute counts:

Neutrophil
5.0

Lymphocyte
2.60

Monocyte
0.80

Eosinophol
0.20

Basophil
0.30

Now for the venous blood gases from 20 december 2024

Ph
7.32

PCO2
53

P02
43

Sodium
133

Potassium
4.1

Chloride
103

Calcium++
1.25

Glucose
79

Lactate
0.9

Hgb
14.1

HC03
27

S02
73.5

Anion gap
3

So that's what i have for you

My goodness

Ty

I literally had to type that letter by letter

And thumbing between app and text

You didn't have to do all that babe!

And making it readable for you

Well yy

Ty

I've got it now

That's the benefit of being the 1 person that cares about me i guess

I really do appreciate this stuff

I can't believe you typed that all out without going crazy

Or...

Did you

Lol

Been there a while

Yep yep got it

It would be a lot easier to take care of you if you were closer

But also how in TF do they have my height as not what i knew my height to be last time

Shenanigans

null

Tyvm

Click for full view

8 by car

29 bike

2.7 miles

Via coolidge

I used to ride up Coolidge, cut East on Abbey Rd then

As you say

Into the woods

And jump up and down it whatever it is y'all do

Is this a sondheim reference?

Bike geo location recs

Into the Woods

Well

The bike trail went into the woods you see

It's not extraordinary

Speaking of which

Are you a spy?

Go on then, out with it

I fucking hate being dizzy when i have no cure or explanation

Sorry babe

It's just weird twinges

My jaw is clamped again. Sigh.

Are you permitted/indicated to take vitamin b supplements

I realize this could be quite complicated and you already told me generally no

I know that there is a vit b6 and a vit b12

B12 i used to take just for energy, placebo or not

I stopped because i kept forgetting or something

Say more?

Afk briefly

The Bs are generally helpful with nerve function

I say this as someone who doesn't be slap happy with vitamin supplements

This is literally the only non prescribed vitamin I take. The other is vitamin D

Why did you bring up neuropathy in general?

Just a feeling
No double entendre intended

But what do you know about neuropathy as related to me?

Which is to say, I was trying to figure out how to cure you of the chronic icks. And this came to mind.

I don't know anything, which is why I asked

I have it, so that's a thing

The ick referenced by me earlier tonight was psychological

But i know what you mean

Ok

So what can answer for you in either of those?

Im out of my depth now, idk

That's fair. I have no idea what you know or don't, what you'd be helping me maybe improve or not

null

I see that. How am i meant to interpret this, speaking as one who basically loathes those areas of the state?

No reason lol

Liessssss

You should observe me

This is established canon

Which?

Deictic referrals are hard in txt

Bach perhaps?

Pachelbel

Aww such a good one

Obvs

I have good taste

Speaking of which...

Lol

Even if the trumpets DO volunteer

Right

Do you understand that reference?

To me, it sounds like the backwards version of pach canon in d

Solid

Damn trumpets

Pray tell, to which composition am i referring?

I actually have no idea what you're on about

https://open.spotify.com/track/4N7VFXypm88Skyc3Mk36cA?si=wkzhzB1iRAufhB30PARslA

Doesn't that figure!

I dont make shit up nearly as much as everyone thinks

I am wicked fucking smart though

And yet....

Yes you are!

Lol thx

Cannae maths

Did earn 3.89 goa masters. On dialysis. Blind. While having 2 transplants. Before zoom. From internationally accredited and attended program. Baby uofm phd funnel.

Ah. Also while working. Paid own way. No student loans for me.

And yet...

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09Y8R9X4G?ref_=pfb_spv01_1e79ea46d5f4a057dc0b9a3522b8efe4&tag=fbcmapoth-us-20&ascsubtag=pfb-GZBO-1-9-vqhxoz8c0ruqmsab&fbclid=IwY2xjawHz_cRhZGlkAasVVek3oO4BHTvVWcOQsoFgOYcv8xKRB54Y5-IdRn2ZmMaym328l6rUxzt3Zcp2ONcRJw

You need this

Heh that is kinda my style
I wish I had room

I should just sneak you over here Sunday

Hangs from ceiling

You have basement

Badememt has ceiling

See step 1

Ok

So you can witness

Wherefore my complaints

Lol

I kinda love cleaning and organizing....

You are too kind

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08XJ1X893?ref_=pfb_spv01_04b36b95b063f8692fcf579efa351e96&tag=fbcmapoth-us-20&ascsubtag=pfb-GZBO-1-9-vqhxoz8c0ruqmsab&fbclid=IwY2xjawHz_p1hZGlkAasVVek3oO4BHYhuWslF6qJ31cUlKMuAiQu7Kw34QMcySNBdQFMnGOaU9mG-_ICIfaf38g

I have n95s gloves And sprays

Lol

Very cool, better than what I have now in basement!

I guarantee you i have enjoyed cleaning more

Honestly, figure out how i get to you. I would lovvvvvvve to do it

I'll be your Uber driver on Sunday innit

Oh that

It's no problem I think

After dark

Pause

Ok :)

O hello

Yes?

Okayokayokay

I have something veryyyyy tou

*you

Combines love, hate, quirk

Imma make you google it though

Yeah?
Did you get the answers you wanted to the questions you sent me last week?

What did i send you last week?

But also, doubt it

This is a new side topic

Like, half dozen numbered questions

That you sent me

That I answered

Oh. Right. We should revisit some of those and more

Ironically, that can lead into this sode quest!

( side

The inside'er quest!

What if i could combine haggis (or lack of) and some syzygy? (Dont quote me on that spelling but hey - i know the term and that's maybe hotttttt?)

Leave it to the linguist!!

Only you could have written that lol

Not why i know it but nevertheless

Yeah I'm feeling up what you're sliding down

Oh do you

Watch me lulz

Anyhoo

What say i, then?

You were about to introduce me to your friend Mr szymurgy haggis innit?

Omg i give you THE BEST clues

Lolol

Aye dunnae why yeast er

Why aer ewe tellin me this nau

Oh, so you WAAAAAAANT me to yeet my phone across the room

Strange choice

Wtf woman lol

Lol

Do you know the phenomena syzygy?

I am SOOOOOO excited for this happenstance for you btw

Language, poetry, astronomy, red red roses....

No
But I knew a kid named Joe(y) Szylvagi, and his little sister

Upon whom

I inflicted violence once

Not good really

Actual violence?

But any way the damnedest things do happen

I saw the entire family
Right

In a restaurant in Newberry Michigan

Do you know this place?

They lived 1.5 blocks away in East Lansing

So yeah the girl

Oh i do know that place

What was her name

She was my sister's age

And she was always screeching

I was maybe 11

They was maybe 7 or 8

And we were all in my little basement bedroom

Pam

That was her name

I... kinda knew her name already

Anyway

Lol

Got a thing to show you in a sec

Well we were playing with stuffed animals. My did and I did this, they all had character voices and all that

And Pam was with us
Screeching

Oh dude

And I saw the little, relatively new piercings in her ears

And the little studs

Tick


Tock


Again lol

And I boxed her ears

And I tell you she did screech

With purpose this time

And she left

I'm sorry

You have zero reason to be sorry

Anyway

That was kinda not on good taste

Wanna know something really connected?

Yes

Or wanna see something... well, something, first?

Ok then

Which? They lead the same place

You choose please

Okay but also... scott cortez?

Just wondering if that name is also in your memory

From the same era

Ish

I cannae place this name tho it seems familiar

Ome last note that Hungarian names, linguistically speaking, usually end in -yi if they end in -i

So anyway

Just click

https://youtu.be/1kn6t398wuc?si=STILraRgYXG7AXzt

And see if you notice what i want you to

Ok
Meanwhile, please theorize why I might be sharing this information:
https://dictionary.cambridge.org/us/dictionary/polish-english/bydlo

C'est impossible

So I was listening to Mussorsky earlier

Quelle est impossible?

And finally put a name to the theme in Bydlo

And now it makes total sense!

Kosher and Polish?

This Joey guy

Wtaf

Right right

What about him

He was known as a bad kid because he was such a spaz

Seriously

My parents could not deal

Some times I could not deal

East lansing hs
Class of 1988
Studied at lcc
Works in ITish stuff
Moved to kitchener ontario
Married 6ish years ago to vicky brown

That guy?

Omg

Why?

It is him

What is whom?

C'mon now

No for real, what are you asking me?

I know i found him

This is not hard

He also has an uncle named paul

I'm just attended this is the same person ok

Astounded

Why are you astounded?

I don't know how to answer

Ok

You are astounded that he is arguably successful

Or

I found him

This is a binary system

No it isn't, and those are not the answer

Okay

Sorry, I'm not trying to be rude

Did i trigger something?

Im really sorry

How many other childhood neighbors of mine have videos like this?

I thought it unusual is all

https://www.linkedin.com/mwlite/profile/in/pamela-kibler-2a5b572b

And I guess that Joey was always the bad kid, etc

I'm happy for him

So you did notice it was his YT

You know who else I was in HS with right?

Yes I saw that

Pamela kibler who has a daughter in musical theatre in south dakota?

I mean, who else?

Yes
And she married Larry Page, co-founder of Google

Class of 1990 iirc

I wish I got some kinda association award

Wait, back this trolley up

Beep

Beep

Beep

You lack sufficient enough ass for those noises, sir

I'll be the one handling that

Who else did you grow up with or whatever?

Lolol

Two trumpet players

Nope

Imma figure it out on my own

Freshman year at BLFAC marching band camp, these cats would play taps at sundown

Then as long for like 20 minutes

Ad lib

I think one went on to play with Winton Marsalas?

Not sure about the other

I just took lsd

And

Y'know

Huh

I learned a buncha instruments

And how to transpose in my head

But what?

You took lsd as a frosh??

No

Mmhm

Tryna think

No actually

Not even in HS

Bc my first time was with Bill (who killed himself a few years later) and Jon brandou, who I believe went on to do culinary work

I might have to bail abruptly

Do

Fyi

I would like to hear more about this. And so much more. I had typed the following already:

You and lawrence, though.... which connectednesses would you like?

Lawrence?

Alfred?

Mid name edward

Oh yeah

Smart kids

Babysit him?

no, middle school chum I think

Dad was military

Boys all by the book

Very disciplined

I need literal word talking for a sec

Who was a middle school chum of yours?

I'm actually questioning if I'm thinking of the right kid

Ed Lawrence

So you are not referring to Larry Page, google cofounder?

I know i sound ridic

Humor mw

Earlier I was absolutely talking about Larry Page

THE larry page

Yep

Ok. But why did you bring him up?

Because you kinda are associated

Right

Yes

I mean, give me a few hiyrs and I'll make a flowchart

Do you know how you are connected?

He never calls me though

Back to real talk

It's true!

But sure

We're only connected because we attended ELHS at the same time

That isn't possible it is?

Oh wait

Maths lol

null

I was so close lol

Yeah i read the whole thing already

He went to interlochen for flute

Not a trumpeter lol

Blahblahblah his project with sergey was on DATA MINING

Blahblahblah palo alto for him. And you, lol.

You're like 5'10"?

Combien des poids?

Ou kg

FR on palo alto, if you thought i was kidding

Yes, and 180 lb

He is also 1.8m tall

Same hair color too

Maybe I am he

Same syllables in your first and middle names

Diminuitive nicknames that aren't actually shorter

Wait do I have gazillion dollars?
No

Idk maybe

It's only 114bil

Lol

1.14

I think?

Lol maths

114 was right

But you knew that

No wonder you have to seduce girls with the same name

Keep us straight

But i am notsomuch lol

You both like the computer sciences

You both have professorial ancestry

You both have MSU

And i can find nary a page on his older brother Carl Victor Page jr

You are quiet

Got some sherbet

And

RLH came up

Do you need to sign off.

?

Soon

Okay then i will try and make it quick

Syzygy is planetary alignment

Alignment is your fave term

Syzygy is happening 1/25/25

Lolol

Burnsday

!!!

Syzygy comes from the greek words for union and together

Which burns would love

1.25.25 is a friday

Jsyk

Wow good show!

Lansing festivities are sold out

Nicely woven together

Detroit... didnt check

Benzonia is too far

Alma is happening on 1.27.25

Three oaks is basically chicago

But there you have it

Whisky me up then babe

I'll give you all thr burnsing of a red red rose for auld be forgot this lang syne

Perhaps we spend some of those golden hours on angel wings

You are absolute tops

Or whatever

And woefully underappreciated

But thanks love

I iust know this shit lol

You think AI gonna spell it out so quick witted like?

Nah

But I'll kilt if you will

Proper undergarment style

Heh

Crap I have to stop chuckling

And need to turn in for sleeps

Okay babes

You're the bomb bebe

Nah it's you

But i still havent gotten off the bed lol

Not that anyone checked if i was alive

Aww

Love you babes!

Love you too

TTYL ❤️

2025-01-15T02:41:45

I figured out part of why i felt so poorly.

Hopefully i have semi-mitigated it. At least for now

We should talk this over too, maybe

I love you

And i don't know if you can see or hear this or not, but

https://www.facebook.com/share/v/1Bsm7udJdD/

2025-01-15T05:29:01

And in this moment it hit, all of a sudden, that I'm it. I'm the end of the line. This is bizarre.

But just so you know, i am safe

Good morning bebe!

Hey

Hi! Looks like you were busy last night

How are you feeling?

I am

Ughhĥhh

But also maybe a little better? Weigh alarmingly less than at my doc appt not even 48 hours ago. Got so super sick for a very very short time but holy fuck it was sickkkk sick

And that doesnt happen

I feel less like a junkie in withdrawals now though, so that's kinda nice

And you? Skipping work to do fun stuff? Parade me around like Miss Daisy? Be the first person since the last person to touch me with any welcomed affection?

Oh my!

Like, so so soooo sick. Out ot nowhere

Sudden and intense and thought i might self aspirate

Yikes!

Food poisoning?

Maybe

I have ideas in that regard

Nasty stuff, do not recommend

Very much

I did it to myself a year ago

With what?

Noodles

Ziti, to be exact

Bacillus cereus?

Idk which bug but the affect was swift and intense

Effect

Oops

Newb

Lol right?

That was an interesting FB link. I could only view, no sound. But yay subtitles!

Right

So that's pretty accurate

And i kinda xant imagjne worse, hence the perpetual exit door i need to be there

I feel like i am damn possessed rn

My poor baby

But it's ultimately my fault for being sick this way so whatevs

I don't follow you

Dont scold too much please

Ok

Forgot meds for 2 and a little more days

Had eggs & chicken yesterday after not eating meat since i met you, kinda

Felt like refeedijg sydrome but not ultra Bac that that

*not ultra bad

Side not that i am fading for a bit

Ok get some rest babe

I love you

Go easy on yourself ok?

2025-01-15T09:41:18

Heya

Hey babes!

How are you? What's up today?

Good start to the day. Should be pretty mellow

Very nice

When do you escape?

4ish

To come see me?

Hmm, maybe?

That'd be nice

:)

I legit have some hours of freedom this evening

Is it so?

Ya, kinda

SIL... nur

Date nite for L?

See above

Sister in Law

He's trekking to get her in MtPl after his AFG committment today

Ah

Mmmhmm

But it means i am more escapable than usual this weekend

Not that that helps you

Right. Possibly

So how's it going?

Good good
I'm writing documentation! Woo!

Jealous!!!!!!

Award winning tech writer here.... ahem

And poetry

And shott fiction

And research

And art

And economics

And quick maths

And science

And music

Instruments and vocal

And community impact through service learning

Much talented!

Yet i still have a void of approval

But ty!

Well we should fill that

Are you feeling better?

I think so

I was like a detoxing addict

It was terrible

157.2

Yow!

Hmm?

So what's on your agenda?

What was your "yow" to?

157

YI u just like numbers. Gotcha.

Idk agenda. Still mandatory OT to do. House stuff is calling my name too. And thought maybe the outside world

Ok :/

Why the face?

Lol 72

Umm

?

Why 72?

I am le confused

Why not 72?

157 is better

Well I don't like it

Because?

Too primey

Okay. 158 then

A marginal improvement

What is this enigmatic number anyway?

You dunnae know?

Nope

Nary to surmise?

Not really

Ah okay

It's what i weighed in freesom units this morning

I see

Is that good?

It is factual

Well ok then

I think you dont think it's good

I would like to know if (a) I recall correctly that you told me you weigh about the same as me around mid September and (b) if there is a decent understanding how it would change that much in 4 months.

Correct and also correct

Would you care to share that information with me?

Or no

I will share anythinv you want. You earned that already.

It's basic physiology as far as i am aware. I have a continuous calorie deficit. Some is intentional and encouraged by the glp1 i was taking, some is because i forget to eat or my brain kind of shuts off the consumable part.

I'm not trying to be snarky

If you have more questions i am happy to answer them and you won't offend me by asking

Oh yeah I think you mentioned glp1 before. When did you take that?

I'm still taking it. Just not as often and my dose did not increase

Idk if this is reassuring to you or not, but this morning when i saw that it was honestly an "ah fuck" feeling

Meaning what?

? Not good
? Not on target
? Not happy with results
?

1.5.24 was 217
2.1.24 was 214
(Started glp1 mid feb)
9.6.24 was 174
11.25.24 was 169
1.14.25 was 164

And today is 158

So it was good

And now it's fast. Like a lot in a short time

So i was kind of like "oh damn. We probably should eat more "

Those are med record weights aside from today, that's how i know

And i feel bad (about you)

Why?

Tx for the info btw

You don't like thin

Oh

I'm sorry

Don't be sorry

Be healthy

I kind of dont know what to do now

I mean, i know too much about good and nutrition and all that anyway

This got really out of hand really fast. That was my alarmed reaction this morning

Hmm

Fwiw

2 of 3 people I know who took that had bad experiences

Obv not a scientific assessment, just anecdote

What experiences?

I have other thoughts in a sec

Poor health, intolerable side effects

Like what kind of side effects? How long were they taking it?

Months. Poor appetite, constipation, diarrhea, vomiting

Those are a little bit just how the med is supposed to work

Ive been taking it for a year

Ok
I'm not trying to make an argument for or against it.

I know. I will not be refilling it this year, but i will also just kind of taper myself off

The drug basically induces gastroparesis

Which i have anyway

It's basically another neuropathy

And i know you dislike the drug anyway. That was clear in the first conversation we ever had lol

Well I also shelled out $500 for a useless syringe :)

I did not

Why do you say "useless syringe"?

Because my wife stopped using it

After how many uses?

Idk

Well, they come 4 to a pack of it's a branded glp1

You're supposed to use it once a week

It's a step up dosage

Idk. It's sitting in my refrigerator

I was only making a point that I paid a lot of money and got zero benefit

Tirzepatide? Hand it over lol

Right

I paid not much and saw extraordinary benefit

I gathered that. Honestly I'm glad it works for you

Thanks

But you like me squishier

And i did not mean to do this much so fast

It's a red flag honestly. From me to me

Good call

And my aesthetics will get sorted, no worries

Just please don't turn into a pencil

Full disclosure here

When gastric bypass became popular, you could easily tell who got it

Bc they look like shit

"Ozempic face" is a real thing

Like the life in their faces was just gone

Buccal fat basically disappears

Sorry, younwere talking

That was it really
My opinion doesn't matter. I hope they got what they wanted

Your opinion matters to me

Your opinion of me matters to me more

I just want you to be healthy over everything else

Hmm

Being tormented by random ills and chills and pain can't be fun

You are correct

So hopefully you're moving away from that

Not really

That existed way before this

Hopefully some other problem is being solved then

Doesn't the weight loss help with pain at all?

It was supposed to, maybe

Fibromyalgia and a lifetime of lots of breaks and so many years of torturing my body left a lot of memories on it

Right, right

I get it

Psych pain causes a lot of physical pain too

There. I said it.

I don't understand why the last line?

Because i hate that it's true. I tried to fight the concept

Ahh ty for clarifying

null

Omg!!!! You have NO IDEA how fantastic that is! Tu!

Did you have a fave part of eire?

I think Wicklow county is the nicest I've seen, but my exposure is pretty limited

Sory

County Wicklow

It's a small country lol

May i give you a Wicklow book? Youd be welcome to chop it for decor

Ooh! I'll take it, maybe give it to my MIL because she is gaga for that kind of stuff

If that doesn't offend you

Does not offend

I get things when they call to me. You know this

Hey where's woodfish?

Um ??

Oh wood fish!

Duh

He's hanging with the dragons

Oh nice!

Learning him some skills & honor

Yes

You gonna paint him?

They guard the audio controls in my hobby room

Mighta gotten you a squishpet one day. Oopsadoodle

How'd'you feel bout London?

I liked London for the couple days I was there.

But generally big cities wear me down

Oh interesting

So no britdecor?

What is?

Dunno. Just have stuff lol. Like gifting. Am secret crow.

I have my little Abbey Road sign lol

Oh i had one!

I had and have the OG Hard Rock garmets too

Lol hard core

Underground maps are _________

??

Cool

Especially if they say things like Basingstoke and Reading

I kinda like maps

Like you do

Where's the place of an ideal map you'd consider hanging up

I'd kinda like a map of Edinburgh

Or Scotland

I have a map book, but not a poster map

Do you like folded or curled better

Not sure

How do you feel aboutaminatex chinoiserie ?

*laminated

Not sure what I'd do with it tbh

null

You hang it up, silly! I think you'd like it

Yeah, hers is different than mine

Get you some black market rx $$$

Lol right?

Hurray norovirous??

null

Shadows aren't doing it but damn

Nipple is looking great tho

❤️

I thought about noro earlier

The norovirus diet is wicked

Yeah i have/had wvery symptom

Ive never gotten it before

Which is odd based on my cruise history. It's rampant there

Ah ha! Nasty

It's super contagious

Right. Not great

That's why ships have disinfectant evvvvvvvverywhere

So what we doing tonight?

I can probably stop by and drop off calendars
But I won't be able to stay long

That's a silly trip but very appreciated :)

Keep the thrill up before the weekend instead

Only 3,2 miles yeah?

I thought 3.7 but idk

Want some panera?

Free cheap or antique things?

Now with less noro? Lol

My soul left my body, pretty sure the noro did too

Whew
What a price

My back feels ultra sexy when i grip it now

Is that odd?

Maybe you just come over here and brute force clean some stuff

Lol
You had me intrigued at "back"

Come grab it
Me
Please

When i pre pass out, my vision gets really weird amd my head gets warm

What say you?

And oh! I have a craftish wngineering resolution request

null

Oooooommmmmmggggggg

Delicious

So anyway

Oi

Haha

Hmm?

I'm outside

Whyfor?

I don't know

Lol

Just wanted to be a polite stalker I guess

Are you chez moi?

Yes

Venez ici?

2025-01-15T17:57:10

Lol well arrival at home was anticlimactic to say the least

I'm such a worry wart sometimes

Hey were you eating spaghetti os?

2025-01-15T19:04:08

Yeah

It looked good

Hi!

Hi!

So

You were here with me :)

Yes, for a while

Yws. Thank you ❤️

Literally the first person I've made physical contact with since you

May i please have any impressions you feel or observed or whatever

I am also very aorry you saw me in this state of filth

No big impressions really. I was just glad to see you for a minute! And your house is not filthy

null

Shhhh! You'll hurt their feelings!

Are you still sad?

Kind of. But it's just like a melancholy draped over me that I can't get out from under. I've decided I'm going to chill in bed and get to sleep early. Should be right as rain in the morning.

Maybe you know the feeling?!like everything seems grey.

I do know it

Have you taken your meds?

Yep, all good there. It'll be fine soon enough.

I didnt take my meds for a little while. No doubt that contributed to last night

Are you up to date now? With meds

I took some in the middle of the night and then again at my usual time this morning. More due in a bit

Ok :)

I honestly feel better just lying in bed. I think my body knows it doesn't have to deal with any more today

Kind of same here

I really wish you could just hold me for a very long while. I am so unwell and very depleted. Wednesday worries (like sunday scaries) are setting in. Have to be at afhq tomorrow

I literally dont know what to do if I'm about to pass out there 😐

I feel like the imagery i have of ophelia. Or cordelia even. Kind of dead weight all wilted and floppy. And i wish you were carrying me limply across a threshold to a much better place

I'd love to just hold you and not worry about stuff

Sure you have to go in. Yuck

Sorry I mean

I felt like i was in shock or sepsis yesterday. Then like a panic attack was happening. Then like i was detoxing (which i kind of have experience with but not through illicit drugs), then like a gp flare. Fir most of today ive felt like someone pushed a ton of morphine instead of titrating it. I feel very morphined. If you've ever had it, you know the warm, heavy, and spacey it brings

2025-01-15T22:05:14

Hey I'm so sorry I wasn't trying to ignore you. That is a lot to go through in a month let alone a day!

2025-01-16T06:33:35

null

💖

You leaving for work soon?

null

Soy aqui

Kak dela?

Chai masala! Wes to mya bakub!

 ​❤️​ to a photo 

Portugues?

"Chai"

Lol I'm making things up

Nahnahnah

Sanskrit

Hage i etymologized chai for you?

Well chai masala is probably Sanskrit-ish

You did tell me about chai!

I think chai absolutely could be

Sanskrit to hindi to Portuguese to a borrowed anglicized version

You know what someone looks like before they pass out, right?

Unfortunately yeah lol

Okay so do NOT t all take this personally.... you did or did not notice that on anyone yesterday?

No no, it's been many years

Okay, thanks

And the person was a plasma donor and I was the phlebotomist

Right

Did you marry them? Lol

Lol not that one

OMG that was actually lulz

Hey idk every secomd of your life

You gonna tell me how to destroy you yet?

Lulz

But if you feel lioe raging at someone or annihilating them on my behalf (go all mercenary or whatever) I've git names. All of em.

One has a schedule that's pretty easy to find. And works down the street. Or in an apt i located and....

Anyway

Plans?

Hmm, interesting

First step for me is relocating the cat on my lap so I can take a ahower

He will lick you clean. Mamacat style

Iz girl cat, can confirm

You don't feel sick, do you?

Me? No

Why?

Ok

[Cat pronoun] will lick you clean

Cleaner than boycat

Bc i didnt want to have gotten you sick

Right. Nope, no sickness

Hopefully same for you?

Mostly kinda

Extreme back pain and the lightheaded dizziness and weakness but that's all

So babes

Whatcha doin tonight?

Good question!

It's a long way away

Scoop me up and shop til drop it is!

Add "new musculo-skeletal system" and "properly functioning nervous system" to the shop list please

My role as a human is to be the keeper of shopping lists lol

No prob, I'll get those added

Ok thanks!

Have you ever broken anything?

Self-Corpus-wise

Just left second metatarsal, stress fractured on treadmill. That was around 2018 iirc

Ooh poor baby! Is it kinda deformed now? Asking from similar experience. Same toe actually lol

Oh wait, maybe not same toe?

I can feel where it healed, but it's not obvious at all

FYI I've got meetings for a while

My second toe, so there's no hallux on my left foot but the toes have all been broken. The new first toe visible is ickch

Enjoy meetings!

LmkFR if you can do something tonight

They've all been broken? Owwww

Nah. Cant feel them

Ive broken a lot a lot though

On a different note, you have a unique standing

You've seen me almost panic attack, almost pass out, and high. And dirty, sans makeup, etc

And You've not run or taken advantage or acted insane at them

Very intriguing

Have you seen me eat?

2025-01-16T10:05:45

I try not to be a creep lol

It's just odd to me

You could've just yelled at me ro stop. Or left.

Once you reply to that, Saturday....?

I saw you take a bite of something once. I know you said you don't like to eat in front of people

Saturday

If things go as I expect, RLH will sleep in late, procrastinate, then get into a tizzy trying to pack

There is unfortunately a very real chance she will delay departure because of this

Very sad, yes

Would you be escapable on saturday?

It's not that i dont like to eat in front of people, i iust kind of dont. Not a concious process

Pack for her?

Sell the ozempic for walmart gift card money and she can leave with that?

Well I hope your spaghetti os didn't get cold because I surprised you

Yeah... Packing

Yet another life lesson she never learned

I ate those bwfore you came in lol

I am amazing at packing

I have no doubt

The world is a relatively small place. If you need it, you can get it

If you cant get it, you didnt really need it

Figure iut a different plan

It's not even that. She wants thingies to show her mom

Right

And five options for what to wear each day

Idk

Wm gift card!

Arkansas!

She can literally spend two days packing and then to more hours the morning of... Running around trying to find things, getting worked up, ... Ugh

You only NEED 4 things to travel

Passport
Wallet/phone/device
Change of clothes
Take a shower

Ikr?

And the last 2 are optional

Meds

Well, rx if you need them

Ok

Lol

Wanna escape for thriftadventuring saturday?

Oh! You *have* seen me eat!

The diner

We go back

Orrrrr maybe we just go looking for giant piles of money so i can solve all my problems

2025-01-16T12:33:21

Yo

Hi

What's up?

Besides a locative preposition

 ​😂​ to “ Besides a locative preposition ” 

Wish I had something witty for ya lol

Just taking a breather before next meeting

Look up the original meaning of wit

I just learned "loblolly" is actually a word

https://www.thesaurus.com/browse/wit

null

Oh so you're a wag

Stop your burlesquerie

I have been out-thesaurized!

Omg work is crushing me rn

Oh noes!

For real

Jsyk, i am planning on escaping for some of the daytime saturday. I always love you joining me

I did not make a res for anywhere yet - i am positive there'll be availability if/when/where we want

All good ty :)

Are you taking any time off next week?

I get to modify my schedule if i want, so i could take t/w/th off (one of them) if that's better for you

Oh! I had my eye on Wednesday

I can choose any of the 3

Let's roll with that!

Wednesday?

No super extra long weekend for you?

Lol that's fine

Found me some new stores to check out!

Really? I would have thought you've been through all of them three times over by now

There are 5ish I've not been to that I'm thinking about for ce weekend that are relatively close

I also love me some Mason places

And want to check out Charlotte

Maybe we go to Ollie's next time you need something

There's a cool painting class sunday at 5 if you arent busy in me!

:)

That was suchhh a good line from me!

Totally agree
I love how you snuck me in there

Was a tight fit, but i love it

I feel like you do too but what do i know

It's a great feeling that I can still squeeze into tight places!

Mmhmmm

Remember the first time?

Yes I do :)

Oooh tell me again!

First slip & slide

When you first came into the chamber of secrets lol

Lol too funny... "Tell me again!". Here you go...

I remember it didn't take too long before we were at this point. I wanted you soooo much. I think you asked me if I was sure I wanted to do this, and I was sure. I also think you had to help me find my way (and still do lol). It took a lot of pushing, and when I finally got in there, it was so amazing! You were wet inside, and it was wonderful! And as we got into it more, you kind of relaxed inside, and it kind of felt like you gushed all over my dick… an incredible sensation that would happen a few more times that night. Damn I want you now!

Omg thank you!!!

You know where to find me... and my boss is gone for the day

Yknow it's been so long you may have to break the gate open ;)

I'll be pounding at the gate!

Oh you think so?

Maybe I'll give her a few licks and see if she'll open up for me

Might have to use some special tongue swirls

Yessss

Do you think maybe you could literally hold my thighs open this rendezvous?

I always want more experimentation and exploration but idk how to do it in the moment and make it not ultra awkward

Same! But yes I would love to .. and if I don't do it at the right moment, you can remind me by pulling them out yourself, or putting my hands on them, or anything really. I will not be upset that you wanted to change things up, promise!

Okay :)

Very much same!

Yay!

I crave you asking me for more stuff

Sex is supposed to be fun :)

Eyeroll

Well let's make that our goal for the next rendezvous

Oh wait. That actually is kind of an odd way for me to think of it

Damnit!

Say more?

Fun just isnt how i would think of it

Serious, sensual, goal oriented, sometimes a necessary chore, just kind of there and not really a thing to hate or enjoy, painful, controlling, more words you wont like

Boring too

I am on this planet to change your mind lol

You insanely sexy creature!

null

Such weird thiughts for me rn

Like "oh, sex is supposed to be a together activity"

And I'm trying to separate "sexy " from "easy" and it's really hard

Headed home soon so i may be quieter

Chez moi

Bon soir!

😊

null

Lol I'm not sure I clicked that animation, but there it is

Oh for real!?

I could do that!

What's that weird migraine thing you have? My mom has it (as of today) and im trying to impress her with knowing the term

Ocular migraine. Only happened once to me thank goodness

She says hers is random and lasts like 15 minutes once a quarter or so

Wild. It is really trippy, but kinda disorienting

Like a seismometer in her eye, she says

Weird!

I think I know what she means

Like a seismic "jitter" effect

Weird!

I get black swirls encroaching my vision a lot lately

What's your hair thing for?

I'm going to Douglas j to get it trimmed. I plan to keep the length as much as possible, but take care of all the broken ends, weird frizzy bits, etc.

This will be my first haircut in over 5 years. I called them to let them know that

Im so proud of you!

Why now?

I've been meaning to get this on the calendar for a week lol. I actually asked my friend Patrick if he recommended them a couple months ago

He enthusiastically gave me two names there. I guess he and his wife have been going for years. It'll be a little pricey but damn I need it lol

Aww!

Also I have to admit, it's timed while RLH is gone so I don't have to hear about it and to see if she even notices lol

Lolz

If you were me, what would you have done to this hair?

I'm not sure yet. I've actually been thinking about that

Wait

Youve thought about me and my hair?

Yes
A little bit

Please say more!

Just something I've thought a little bit about when I'm with you. Like I think it looks really cute with a band/bandanna at this length. Are you inclined to color it again?

Have i had a band on it in your presence?

I do all sorts of things with it

You've seen pics of it in lots of colors and lengths

It's been about a year and a half since anything though

And kind of like 2 weeks since i washed it. Ooops

Lol same

And I have at least one pic of you with a white ropey looking band

Actually maybe longer

It's very fetching

Oh! Im wearing it now lol

Iz new

Yay!

I love that look

Bandanna

Hair band

I love that

null

This one?

null

That's it!

null

Yay!

Hahahaha

I got it from the dollar tree

I have a tonnn of wide ribboned headbands

So what were you thinking about my hair?

Astrophysifuckface, right? That guy?

I got my hair cut and dyed how he wanted it.

Bangs. I banged my hair for him before i even met him. Gross.

He also said i was "uncomfortably tight" and that i should loosen up after he uses me for a while. Not even joking.

Ickk

And all i did was keep pansering to him. I'm fucking gross.

Silly girl

I prefer troubled

null

Aww!

Thanks but i dont think so? What would i use them on/for?

Do i feel uncomfortable around your dick?

Cleaning your soldering iron ofc

Maybe I'm the worst oral sex you've ever had?

null

Wait wait back up

Ah damn, i misplaced mine

Your dick?

Hmm? Beepbeep?

What lol

Yours sir

Ok in all seriousness

And let me say this unambiguously

Whew

Best oral sex ever, no contest

I dont know if i believe that but thank you :)

Well it's true

Tyvm by the way

Because it is

But now your iron

Is she hot?

Got none

Am i uncomfortable for you to be in?

I have two more

Is it "kind of unpleasant"?

If you want one

I don't know how to solder. Or what.

It is the farthest thing from unpleasant

I crave you

Know what I mean

Craaaave you

Do you want someone who's virginal and then want to be mad at them for not having the experiential knowledge necessary for some things ?

Do you want to tell me my literal shaking from nerves is a turn off?

Maybe you can tell me i made you sick but you don't know how or what or why, it's just intuition

Explain how youre mad and miffed because you expected more help in moving even though i told you i was only available for a finite 12 to 14 hours on a weekend day

So you dont pack a single thing. Or clean. Or have packing materials

But i rent you the uhaul anyway and you get kinda mad because it didnt go as smoothly as you wanted even though i uber you and me any and everywhere to get this accomplished because you and your damn dog gor yourselves evicted

So instead i find you a crazy good apartment with insanely specific criteria

And there's countless more things but it's finnnnnnnnnnnne that we talk about cookies and caramels and out of nowhere you just wont talk to me anymore. Ever.

Eww

Riiiight

So not so good

Tell me you want and expect zero body hair ever

What's your emotion?

Anger?

And i am nothing but a downer

I mean now

About this guy

Disappointment maybe?

Yeah

You put a lot into it

I think it's at me though

A lot of me and time and kind of a
Fuckton of money

Fair

Well he's gone. But you called him out. Inasmuch as a text message can

Ty

Oh there's a lot more. More will come eventually

Okay, as you wish ofc

He's gone and not of my choice whatsoever

Angrybitterdisgusted

Right

Richard Henry Cyburt, PhD

Fr

Why?

Cyburt

Helluva name

Hungarian

And he was a physicst? Spelling lol

Is it pronounced like see-ber?

Sigh-bert

Got it

Where did he go?

null

null

null

null

I'd enjoy his classes lol

How do you think i know whay syzygy is?

The world is a funny place

https://www.ratemyprofessors.com/professor/2605267

You would not enjoy them lol

Funny place.... right.... did you know he donated a kidney to his mother?

Haha I guess I do now!

Or maybe that his phd advisor wife was the head of UICU linguistics?

That his (ex)wife loved writing and literature?

That he had a thing for girls in all white?

That it's 8 minutes from my location downtown to his?

That i was an official lcc student the whole time i knew him?

That he felt it necessary to tell me he deleted all my pics because he no longer used them?

That he had a "classic bdsm-rape fantasy" until he heard one of my experiences and then he reconsidered because it was more intense and sad than he wanted?

My Gramma used to say it takes all kinds

Why would i let myself do this to myself

Unfortunately I cannot answer for you

But I'm still here if you want to explore

And he was kind of average on the jerkness scale

I always want to explore

https://www.nudeweb.com/cleanslate6969/

That's his profile

Double 69 yall

Did his wife know anything?

He was mid divorce when we connected

I still think the answer is no though. Not about me at least

The cleanslate part of his name was that he was free of drama from her and that

The first night i met him was his first night moved out/ik his own apartment. No, i did not meet him there

The second time i met him fir the night was his wedding anniversary. He never said anything but i know how to find stuff and i knew it was a weird situation that day and whatever

What else would you like to know?

What drew you to him?

There are a few answers

We met online, firat of all. And not on the site i sent you

The reason i eventually met him/why i was interested and the reason i started talking to him and giving whatever are different and you won't like one of them

At your discretion is fine

You wont like why i started talking to him and sharing with him

It's because he started talking to me and gave me the tiniest slivers of attention. Like, at all.

I kept talking because i like intellect, i was in an "older" mindset, like kink, and couldnt tell if he was going to be fun good, good good, fun bad, or destructive bad for me. I was playing on a cliff edge

Were you aware of all of those possible outcomes at the time?

Yes

I think

I think i know what you mean, that is

Not judging right, but how much of that interpretation was then-present day vs understood through time later?

Can you make that simpler? Idc how blunt you need to be

Ok yeah

Did you go into the relationship cognizant of these four outcomes?

I did, but the outcome i had did not fit into any of those

Ah

A novel outcome?

New to you

In general? Not entirely

This situation? Yes new

Expected from him? Not in the slightest. At all. At alllllllll at all.

Lol

It was a year and a half of talking almost every day

I watched his dog heeeeeeeere for 4 days while he went to visit family in Chicago

I cleaned and cooked and decorated and made sure his ex step grandkids were taken care of with him

I bought him a bed. A fucking saatva bed i never even sat on

That was generous!

I have one

I know

You're welco

What?

Lol

Well it's nothing special

I invite you to a guided demonstration

It was, all things considered, less than about 5% of my fiscal generosity

But i hope youll show me

My oh my

Oh,yeah

And he yeets off

Feb 3 2024

Huh

Middle of a conversation

There is some serious fuckery at that time of year

Go on please

What else would you like to know?

Hmm

I can tell you exactly how many times we were physical

Please do

3

How long were you again?

Between may and October of 2023 (the times)

Hang on on that timeline

Np

Scratch that, 2022

So may 2022 started

October 2022 last time physical

Feb 2024 no more speaking

Iz good piece of time

Can I ask question about you?

Sure, why not?

What do you wish to happen with you and me?

That's a really difficult question

If you're not comfortable answering now that's fine

Wish, want, hop3, expect, realistically expect are all different

So i dont know how to answer best

Also have spouse luring atm

*lurking

Cool cool

So, what should i answer first?

Put it this way: you spent x months with Dr. C., and kinda knew what to expect, but probably something wanted too. Now it's me instead of Dr. C.

Do you have an answer?

I don't have your answer, no

Wrong qualifier

Hamina?

An vs your

I wish for you to answer my question plz :) not ask me a question

You know lol

And like I said, np if now is not a good time

And you can ask me if you want

In my ideal world, our marriages either become poly or fizzle completely and end, you and i spent a lot more years being very fond of each other's everything

Or

We somehow do this sneaky thing forever. I prefer the first option.

That's one answer

And i would like yours as well please

Sorry I'm a bone head one moment

Soldering iron still plugged in

Ok

I want to spend the rest of my days with you

I think we can get along

And I love the the way you love me

I have not thought through the other bits as clearly, but your vision resonates well

And it makes me feel so selfish, but dammit

We agree

Why do you feel selfish?

Conditioning? I'm not sure exactly

Same

Right

That was somehow satisfying

Then I'll ask you a question i may have asked before

Why did you marry who you did, when you did?

Bc she wanted it

Lol you said lurking

Yes?

null

I didn't watch Looney Toons

OMG

This is why you are broken!

I mean, wanna guess whyyyyy I didnt?

This is quality adult humor

Oh

Right

Riiiiiiight

Wait, do you know why?

Something something parenting

Huh. Yep.

Didn't you tell me your dad forbade such filth

Mother

Right

Did you ever look either of them up? Or frere?

Not since we exchanged names

Huh?

Do you mean no?

I looked up a lot of your family, but not since August or September

What did you learn?

Precious little

Relations

What do you want to know?

That i could tell you

Rien maintenant

Okay. Open offer. I have weird things that surface sometimes. I think ive told you some of them

Yes I would say ao

I will be assembling myself to migrate upstairs

So will be slow!

Ive tried to shield a lot of the graphics. Might not anymore

null

null

null

Mid conversation

Then what?

Then what what?

null

It shows he read it

Oh I'm sorry! I should have opened the pic separately

No, you had a valid question

Idk why my phone sends them the way it does

Huh

Right


Do you have a theory of why he ran?

Not really

He was hurt by his ex and wabted to hurt someone else

He was done with me

Mmm

Dang

Sad fella

I was so incredibly used in the worst ways

If it was all physical i would have been more okay with it

Do you think I'm as sad as he was? (Assuming you think he was sad)

I dont think you two are similar at alm except in strange ways that could be honest coincidences even though i dont believe in coincidences

I think he was filled with a lot of anger and some other things i cant quite put my finger on

Right

Like a raging need for revenge

I agree really

Yeah, that is something

I get steamed up

And he knows i can ruin his life

But im too meek to do so

And he knows that too

What's in it for you is the question I would ask. If you ruined him.

Very little

He would have to give me closure of some kind

He would know how badly he maimed me

I'd get to know what it feels like to give pr get a little sense of justice

He knew stories

Yeah

You know

I'm not usually a fan bit of faddish phrases

Fan boy

But I like 'rent free'. Do you know it?

I do know that phrase. My complex is full of freeloaders, metaphorically speaking. But i kinda paid for them to stay there

Can you sense what i feel? In general. And now.

My only sense is you might be apprehensive that I'm getting preachy

That isnt it

Do you feel preachy? About what?

I don't actually
I am only trying to be very cautious with my thoughts and words

Cautious, and honest

You dont need to be

Ty

I do, as a personal goal

I need to find the temperance I once knew

And I do mean a long time ago

I appreciate that

And generally do the same, speechwise

I've been kinda sloppy with my emotions for a long timw

Ty I am grateful

And I believe you

Why do you think you've been sloppy with emotions?

I'm my own worst critic

I feel like I am growing so much with you

It's wild really

And cool

And gratifying

Same

It makes me feel guilty too, a lot

It's kind of obvious that you're my daughter, the one I never had
At least in some folds of my brain

You see this, right?

I did not expect this

And I don't deny it

I do see that

I have asked and you have answered inasmuch

Is it ok?

It's just how much I love you

Yes, it is

And had moved me to tears now

It's a way i love you too. But not freepy and fucked

Please dont cry

I don't want creepy honestly ofc

I'm ok. It was a nice rush

For me, the love i feel in that way for you is more like a trust in protection and caring

Yes

I cherish you

But it also makes me very uneasy at times

I love you in ways i did not know

I get it
It's intense

I didn't know there were loves based in this kind of feeling

Right

In fairness, you had at least a semblance of this, or you saw it really close

I'm all honesty, I didn't sink in to that line of thinking until December

What do you mean?

There's a difference between hearing you're the same age as my step son, and feeling the need to nurture you

I can easily keep the numbers conversation purely numbers with no feeling

Does it make any sense?

Yes

There's a difference between mature and nurtured

And it's a twisted bavkward kind of logic that mature means you didnt have enough nurturing as the ones who get to be parented forever

null

Click to expand

This is Dr C?

Oh no. Not in the slightest

Oh you're dad

Yes

These are voicemails i have not been able to even open

That is ok

I feel so stupid and cowardly and all of that for not doing it

He wont know if i listen or nor

You don't have to until and unless you want to

L keeps telling me i need to "shit or get off the pot" in talking to my father

Is that still going on?

Is what?

This line from L. You told me about it a while ago

Oh. Yes.

Hmm

He knows more than you and he has seen the interaction between us in more than one setting

And said before "i thought you were joking or exaggerating. You dont ever have to see him again in my books" because i get so screwed up for so long

And because of how L saw him treat me

Sounds like you've inconvenienced the poor lad

I do that a lot

Not even joking as much as youd think

What actions did 'shit out get off the pot ' represent?

Oops

Talk to my father or cut off contact completely

Talking also meaning have some kind of relationship

Bc $$

Was it?

Part of it

Maybe most of it

I think L somehow feels bad when AFW calls and i dont answer or return it

Lol whatever

What's in it for L?

Besides money?

How is "getting off the pot" different from status quo?

And it dear father promising you stacks of money?

Why is L pushing?

Actually.... kind of ?

Because L wants to be out of debt

Good for him

At your expense?

In soooooo many different ways

Right

Hmm

It's hard not to insult the guy RN

But I'll refrain

Idc what you do

Meh

I'm not worried about him

I can tell you worse things if you want, but i know you dont

Probably not now

For sure

But I very much appreciate the open dialogue

I know these are yuck topics

Not fun ones

Sorry, phone died

Right, not fun

But i overall think i am much more willing to share than you would ever want to hear

Maybe, we'll see

That seems ominous

I don't mean it to

I have I big capacity for you babe

I know. And i.appreciate that. I dont know why you do

Idk how you do it sometimes

I want you to have it

You don't know hwo i do what?

Make me love you so much

null

Ditto

Whee!!

Ty!

You are the 4th partner ive ever exchanged ily with

Inclusing those 4, 2 more have told me, and i have told 1 more who is not in a circle already mentioned

It probably sounds like i have them out a lot more than i do. You're incredibly significant in having one of them

I'm honestly thrilled :)

Oooo

Haha clock

The one time that it was me saying it, i was obv first. That was the only time i went first and the only unreciprocated. And i wish i could have taken it back. That's the only regrettable ily ive ever said in my life

Aww

I think I told this girl

In HS

Her name was ivy

We really only talked on the phone

Meet among mutual friends somewhere once or twice

That lasted all of three weeks

You told me pretty quickly

Yeah

It just fell out of me. I mean I did mean it then and now, but it was an almost involuntary thing

I knew i loved you then anyway

Aww !

Hate to say I need to sign off

Same

For sleeping

Work tomorrow for me

7 in the a m

I can't wait to be with you

Same :)

Early work you do

Me too, not quite as early

Every time i work

I know. Whew!

Late for me too lol

I
L
Y

Do you know all the reasons i dont sleep? Ponder that befire tomorrow

❤️

Ok I will

I
L
Y
T

😊

2025-01-17T06:09:53

null

Hey you!

Hieeeee

What's up?

Coffee-ing up over here
With cats lol

Nice 👍

How was your night?

How was your night?

Lolz

It was alright

E tu?

Decent
RL stayed downstairs

Do you know why?

Idk why she was volunteering to come upstairs

Right

Any dreams?

No

Any thoughts or musings,

It's almost sunday

Yes, it is

Hoping for the best!

😊

Yes

Today will be forever long

Oh?

Oh.

Yes

At least Toni is going

Grim should not

She makes good company.

Right Gromm will be with daddy

Ah, that babay too

Is that his real name?

It is

I see

I think it has Scandinavian?

Omg

Like they didn't make it up

That's what i thought!

Toni has strong Norwegian roots

Also kind of conjures imagery of a norse troll

The story kind

Right?

That's about what he is lol

Just did me some tiny research

Wanna know what it means?

Stern, noisy, foreboding, from the words for thunder and growing

So yeah, they prophetized that

Nailed it lol!

For sure!

Why are you up so early?

Alarm at 6 bc I need time to wake up. I can't stand jumping straight into work

Omg same!

:)

And basically the world belongs only to me im early morning

Right!

And the cats

Bah!

But yeah lol

Lol

Aquarium aside, are you in the market for anything? Like, at all

Ah geez things cross my mind all the time but they don't always stick

I'm going to end up getting another shelf like the one you found for me

What did i find for you?

A big metal shelf

Chez menard?

Yep!

You could just get the same

Or do you need smaller?

Probably will

Aame

Same

All that stuff is on sale now for the new year. Basically everywhere

Keep a notepad with you

Wrote stuff down when you think of it

Brain dump it later

Yeah I've gotten lazy. I need a new notebook I think

Oh i can help!!!

Parameters plz

I want to bind these old pieces of record sleeves to make a notebook lol

null

I have a bunch more I'm going to cut up

Oooh cool! Dyou have a book binder?

I do not

I actually think there might be one at afhq lol

Aside from there, maybe the msu surpluss store

Hmm...

Have you ever been?

I don't think I've actually been there

Heard of it?

https://msusurplusstore.com/

I would like to go one of these days

Same. I know about it when they were by the train station but it never made it over there

Did you want to see my hopeful plan for some new places tomorrow?

I don't think so? I know you told me you'd like to get out & about

Imma try to wash this hair
Might be a little while lol

Dude lol

Reread my text

Then your response

Oh oops I'm sorry! I read "did I see the plan"

Pssshhhhhy lies!

How's your mop o head?

OMG that was the worst it's ever been

30 minutes combing out mats

Babes!

Okay, what do you use and do on and in and fir your hair? Full list please

No judgement, trying to help

null

It would only take a few minutes if I did this weekly

Do you do/ise anything else throughout the week?

Nope, I don't even get it wet

This was waaaaaay too long to wait lol

Oh wow

Do you brush it?

Nope

It's impossible

Not as much as you think

Heh

Hair stylist can probably help you manage better with their recommendations

When is that?

I occasionally throw a little conditioner in to defuzz if I want to look sharp

Agree, I'm looking forward to it

Thursday

Leave-in or whatever you use in the shower?

Patrick recommended this dude and his husband. They both work there lol

I do finish my hair with a leave- in yeah

I have a meeting in a few, then another right after that so may be afk til like 10

Youre welcome to leave me messages!

Like.... your thoughts on my hair would be cool

Ok :)

Have fun

So, you pick my design yet?

Working on it

I am such a fucking crybaby loser and i hate it

Why? What's happening?

I just cry all the time at work criticism and how things are frustrating and a of that. It's aggravation but it comes out as upset teenage girl

Plus my head hurts so badly today that I'm kinda crying anyway

I'm sorry
Who's criticizing you?

It's all part of my coaching plan

https://www.facebook.com/share/r/19rgAxAEzx/

Side note

I really want you to cuddle me right now. Just nice and amsoft with me shielded in magnificent arms of yours, tucked in and away from everything while you speak ln a low vocal fry to soothe me between kisses from my eyelids to my headband

I wish i could for you right now

https://www.facebook.com/share/r/19rgAxAEzx/

Ah, wrong one

But it's obv a morning of rough realizations

https://www.facebook.com/share/r/1BTGHHT8Ai/

2025-01-17T11:53:58

((babe❤️))
How are you doing

Meh

How are you?

I'm fine

I think i am not great probably

Did you have a meeting with ck? Is that what spoiled your mood?

Team meeting, then ck meeting. L missed a dental appt, for which my mother found an appt card and texted to ask if he missed it and why didnt *i* have it on the calendar. Meanwhile he was asleep in *my* bedroom while SIL was asleep downstairs. I was crying the whole time and trying to figure out how to make this better and i feel sick and I'm mad about that too. And this whole stupid company for service center being in this situation. And mad at the mess and that i want to go places and cant and that i have so much potential but was literally told i need to figure out my current role and adapt to that and then maybe we can talk about tapping into potential. And that i need to not worry about or focus on problems that are not directly mine

And more, but that's a good gist

I saw this and thought it was appropos

null

Click to expand

Oi vey

I'm so sorry

You're worthy babe never forget that

No matter what anyone else says

I wish I could be there for you right now

I'll hold you

And let you know I'm glad you're with me

And I'm sorry you're hurting

You don't have to carry all that weight

By yourself

I logic brain know that but i experience and realistic brain do not know

I know

I want you to hear it from someone else

I hear it differently when different people say it

I just want you to know I got your back

Thank you

When kirby said as much this morning, i heard it ad "why did you even bother trying in the first place? That was dumb and you're stepping way out of your own space in a bad way"

It baffles me tbh

What does?

His attitude

His boss hasnt said a word or even looked at me since december 11

Does she normally?

Not really

So i guess she hated me before and i just appreciate it more now in the afterglow

She's a twit

Actually makes me sick

I feel awful

But heyyyy lunchtime

Hi

Crikey I love impromptu calls from SVPs

Oh deat. Qcsp?

Oh you know
Profit sharing

Lol

How bout the girl who brought in more than $2mil in debt that was in a w/o queue then she calculated the achievements "the loss sensitive billing dept" had then her director took all the credit before throwing her under the bus for making less than 5 mistakes that made everyone really angry bc they cant keep staff?

Or whatever

And the loud mouths walk in while I'm on camera talking to her lol

Boyses?

Yep

What time is the departure?

Do you all have a ddM

Idk

*DD

Me prolly

Fr, is that okay?

I'm fine with it tbh

Okay then

RLH doesn't really drink either

I drink enough for both of us lol

But it will be night driving after a concert and she migjt be elevated otherwise.... lol

You dont drink that much i thought??

According to my doctor yeah

But whatever lol

What if i want you to pick my sunday libations?

Mmm libations

I mean sure!

Do you know what youd go for?

For me

Idk exactly
You don't really like drinks, right?

Idk if that's true

I dont like gross lol

Right

That brings me to another point for later

I wonder if you would like the lambics. Hmm

They are fruity and sweet

I think i have been asked this before

Oh wait that was malbic

Had an apple one at NYe and it was pretty good

Ironic lol

Belgian style

Malbec maybe is how it's spelled?

Belgian is so heavy!

Not these

I like stella.....

These are light and crisp

Like Stella

But fruity

Lop

So like cidre

Ok that's what I was wondering

Cool

Do you remember what i had in september?

Angry orchard?

Probably

Cool, cool

I can definitely find something for you

The apple lambic is a lot like cider

Do you know what I'd typically drink?

You kinda didnt ask lol

Lol what would you typically drink? Asking for a friend

I will tell you but do you have a guess?

Um
Cider

Nah mate

Shots

Fosters

Oh

No idea
Shots are not in my universe

Why?

Probably the same reason you don't like Guinness

NAF

??

nasty

Lol

I only started drinking liquor last summer

Literally

Gin

Guinness is okay but i do girly guinness if im out

2 shots in a very large tumbler

I do mixed drinks or shots

Because i drink like one drink once a quarter, if that

Pray tell... Girly Guinness??

Guinness with wannabe grenadine

It's currant syrup

Bc no pomegranate for you

No onr said that yet

Just currants are irish

You did at Aldi :)

Lol yes!!!!!

Hehe

F
I
L
Y

 ​😂​ to “ F
I
L
Y ” 

Ilyt

Lolol

You goofball

Here's a q for you: if i do one new thing with my mouth or my tongue that youve not asked for yet?

isn't there a "then...." Tongi with this?

To go lol

Thennnnnn what do you pick?

I would even know what's available

Is there a menu?

Anything

For real

I'm sorry I will have to get back to you

Ok

You good?

Yeah I need to finish something for these profit sharing goons

Cool cool. I got stuff to take care of too

Ttyl

One of the man children has lower GI issues. Wonderful

Medicate him rtfn!!!!

2025-01-17T16:33:31

I hope you havea fantastic time tonight - tolerable at the very least!

Rice, banana, and pedialyte for mankidboy. Febreze for the car. Odinspeed to the lot of you

I'm seriously considering backing out lol

Sick boi is not going either

Hmmmm

Not that I want to hang with him lol

You could do random shit you never get a chance to do!

I could give you random tasks

Like what?

Maybe you feel unwell yourself....

I have papers that need ro be sorted, fantasies that need to be explained, you could browse websites for whatever your heart desires...

Exactly!

Could buy 3 boxes of chex cereal and send me the receipt

Lolol

Could make a plan for traipsing about tomorrow

What are you on about

Which now?

Gonna go shoppin soon!

Chex scavenger hunt?

I need those for a prize, sillyboy

You are a prize lol

Damn straight

❤️

Thank you I needed the lift

Hey guess what

Whhhaaatt

I'm debating asking you to take more than the recommended blue pill dose so you can realllllly fuck my brains out

In like 48 hours or less

I will become a permanent dick head lol

Better challenges tor me!

Does it make a difference to you if i spell it cum or come?

Not really

That's not a ni

*n9

Damn

No

It's fine either way you like

What's the difference to you?

I'm trying to be inclusive here lol

There are sooooo many cheesy reddit posts like "cum on over! Tee hee!"

It gets... Cheesy

That's a hygiene problem then lol

Not to beat the horse further

Lol

Right

Which i have saddddddly witnessed

Ewwwwww

FR

Mercifully I've never encountered cheesy discharge in person

Doesnt have to be discharged

Ewwwwww

Sometimes it's just.... therw

Cum on

Have you cum in a mouth before?

I have

Where do you like to best during/after oraling to climactic release?

Well
I don't have much breadth of experience. I either got off all the way in her mouth (90%) or decided I wanted to fuck instead (10%)

There are other directions I'd like to try though

Other locations as it were

Thing is, I've never grabbed myself and controlled the situation in that manner

I want you to do everything you want

We just probably need to chat about possibilities first

If you get off anywhere, what are your top choices and why?

You get 5

In your pussy
In your mouth
On your face
On your pussy
On your abdomen/chest

1 & 2 are just classically good
3-5 are nicer for me

Novel, not nicer

Ffs

You can pick more ;)

Well I never understood pulling out from doggie to do a back shot, but I guess it's worth a try

Would you prefer more to the back of my throat or elsewhere in my oral cavern?

No if you're fucking me doggie i neeeeeedd that shot absorbed

More to the front actually

Why?

Visually hot

Now if you're not into that it's ok

I've never done it that way myself

Why in my pussy? What makes you want that?

It's heavenly. I get to use you as a backstop and you get to experience me exploding inside you

Yessssss

And i lovvvve that. It's fantastic and fascinating

Has happened just once, ouai?

I think, yeah

Lol I ducked out

RLH kinda copped an attitude lol, Toni backed me up

Then she said ok we can take Andy's car, at which point I informed her I'm going to Kroger so she can wait until I get back or take any of the three other vehicles at their diaposal

Hahahahahahahha

What're you krogering for?

You may be a kroger addict if.....

I have a possibly bizzarre q for ya

Honestly it was an excuse to gtfo

Whaaattt!? Youuuuu!? Nahh

But I am going there

https://www.chex.com/chextins#hw-iframe

Need the receipt and i will make you every kind of chex there is!

I just want the prizes lol

https://www.wkkellogg.com/our-foods/promotions

I know lotsa recipes with cereal

Gimmmmmmeee offers lol

Been a hobby since i was little

Nice!

Totally

My grandpa died with a few mil, plus endowments and whatever at various schools. He's the one who hooked me on fre stuff lol. It was just fun

But he also lived through the great depression so there was that

Ah, the resourceful genes!

Oh for sure!

But international travel added to that really positively too

One carry on bag for one summer

Oh I'm sure

So you don't tend to collect 50 lbs of rocks at your destination and then try to board a plane?

And idk how true it is, but i think I'm never really smelly in large part because of that travel and resourcefulness

Do I know anyone who would do that?

I do

But she's a literal geologist

Her husband has a doctorate in forestry

Well that's expected then

Exactly

So they have an entire bag full of rocks and wood lol

I also have the notion that rocks have spirits and only some can ve freely taken and rehomed without bad repercussions

A la hawaiian lava rocks

Uh oh

My aquarium is a spirit magnet

Some rocks are cool with it

Im not really joking

I can prob explain with me new friend mary jane helping me someday soon

Oh perfect!

Oh you know her!

Lolol

Brings me to my next q

You ready?

I'm getting snacks but I'm ready to ok l

Ok ok I'll ok lolol

Wtf phone

Lol

There's a thing i was thinking of you doing/us trying out

We wanna place bets she leaves without the tickets? I told you about the tickets right?

Sorry I'm still brooding

You did not tell me about them

Brood all you want babe

When she bought the tickets she printed them and was going to drop them on my desk to keep track of them.

My desk, on which I lost her driver's licence renewal form only a few months ago

I said please don't put those there, do you see what a mess this is? I will lose them. Why Don't *you put them somewhere?

And she started winding up like a three year old you snatched their pudding away from

So I put them on my CD crates

Wow I am so ready for my basement

Right, yes, i do recall that

Sorry babeosaur

Thanks

Do you want me to ask you to go out tomorrow?

Ofc you can ask :)

Lemme think though

Mmmk

What if i ask you to do the thing?

Lol what thing?

I want to be yours. Explore me, tease me, paint me, play with me. I just open myself to what you want and you take it

Oh my, best present ever!

I just don't know RN if tomorrow is a good day

No prob

Please don't take it as a no!

Because I would love to give you a legit rubdown, pat down, lick down, dick town, take me on down to pound town

And your ticket is free :)

Oooh yay!

Tomorrow would be platonic lol

Odin loves Plato

Ummmm

Right

I was going to say thank god for Plato, but that was a bit heavy handed

Why?

Because he brought us all these platonic moments!

Ah, yes

Hey

Yes?

What's up?

Heu, would you do a craft with me?

What is it?

Idk. Chillin at michaels now lol

But you said "hey"

Whycome?

Oh yeah I was going to say if you had things lined up for tonight please don't let me slow you down

Lol when I went to Michaels

To get poly fill

How many times did I walk around the store?

Ummmm??

Do they sell that here?

Seems like a joann purchase

Hilarious!

You're absolutely right

And you're the eighth person I've told this to

And the first person with the correct answer!

You are fin amazeballs!

So what went around Michaels 3 times

Before I noticed the polyfill in the naîveté scene

Fucking fake snow

Lolol

Aaawwws

Ask the crafty girl duh

null

Lol

Like the separation between Michael's and JoAnn doesn't even register for me

Not when it comes to piles of white fluff

null

Baby bao?

OMG cute lol

Now, Mr Bao died as a young puppy, jsyk

Mr Hao is the goofball that lives with us now

Right, sorry

It's ok

Yeah, poor guy didn't have a chance

And it was super sad

Big sigh, we miss him

:(

I miss my lilly a lot

And i feel terrible when i call sadie my firstborn

Do you have somewhere you could use a placemat,

?

Maybe? What's it like?

Cute lol

Hmm

Like girly tea s t cute?

null

Like ultra duty plastic and baby science cute

Sadly no

But they are cute

Bah!

:P

Better get you some poly fill it's going to be cold as cold is cold next week

https://open.spotify.com/track/7rJWEhDUymfTOCJERCSJ7C?si=q_BuvhCqRAW2dWyOpUTTsw

Lol okay??

How's it going there?

Heyy!

All swell I guess

Expound please

I'm a happy fish in my basement

Basically all I know rn

Tell me what is not going well, what is not okay

Ma'am I swear ain't nothin

Okay

Tell me your plan for Sunday

Smooch

I reckon

By mid-late afternoon tomorrow, I will know if departure plans will be altered

In other words, actionable information lulz

Hate that word

Hate it

Anyhoo

I think the sick one will be fine

There is no doubt he had embarrassment enough route

But considering his activity and appetite I think it is fine

Assume they leave by mid afternoon Sunday. Then what?

Oh la la

I would need a couple hours to make it ok for you

Over here

And by ok I mean acary

Or we find a convenient place someone else has already cleaned lol

https://www.choicehotels.com/hotels-near-me?gclid=CjwKCAiAnKi8BhB0EiwA58DA4TuoAn3mr1edlH2ljl8Pu3XSUCT0fnyFoZpMsqSXrHWuz8WJQY2s1xoCt9EQAvD_BwE&checkInDate=2025-01-19&checkOutDate=2025-01-20¤tLocation=true&placeName=Current%20Location&lat=42.7735232&lon=-84.4915095

Oh weird look what was on my screen somehow

Whoa how did you know

Magic bebe

Physics or something lol

So smart

https://www.guestreservations.com/country-inn-suites-by-carlson-lansing/booking?checkIn=01%2F19%2F2025&checkOut=01%2F20%2F2025&rooms=1&adults%5B1%5D=2&children%5B1%5D=0¤cy=USD

I pulled out a lot of hair today

That is all

Tell me more

Mm chaise lounge

Pause

Office desk

Youre welcome to text but i will be sporadic for a while

Okay

You're spot on with options

I am blissfully ignorant of matters above me

Hey gf

Matters above you?

null

Uhh

Don't you know goldfish when you see them?

No 👎

Aww ';(

They're little water pigs

Cuddly like
Lol

In all seriousness they pack a lot of personality

Nice

Sorry, needed the inhaler

Haha it's ok

Oh crap sorry

It's okay

Let me know you're ok lung wise when you are plz

This is my kryptonite

I am better now thanks

It's just what i live with

Oh. There are memories in this aspect idk if you know about me or not

If it's about breathing I beseech you, not now please? This is a difficult subject for me

I have a story for you

[Repeated from 2023-01-15]
Last night I was a bit high and we were snuggling and having a good time when I fucked up bigtime. I told her about the drunk I had with a drunk, nameless, faceless short and pleasingly plump girlie at the Machine Shop... The shows had just ended and people were going for last potty and I was milling around on the floor vibing in the energy of the show that had just finished. This girl is suddenly waltzing up to me, wraps an arm around me, and we spin around with actually some grace and I have one arm around her and have the presence of mind to grab her tit--

And then it was like a scene in a drama movie when the power surge blows up the lamps in the room and everything goes dark but for bits of sparks here and there.

* bzzt

* POP







null

Heyyy
I just went to prep some rice

Found the source of poo smell
You're welcome

2025-01-18T00:47:12

Mmhmm

I would like to clear up a possible misconception. I am not disappointed you are losing weight. In fact, I am contented to know you are well in control, as it should be! Regardless, you are delicious to my eyes and a delight next to me. So don't add this to your worry list lol

2025-01-18T04:52:36

Hello sweet prince!

Thank you for clearing that up :)

Where did that story come from?

2025-01-18T07:02:18

Would you like to adventure today?

How are things there?

2025-01-18T09:01:12

Hiee!

What's up?

You wanna go out?

Maybe later? You'd better start without me :)

Awww poor babes!

You have questions above lol

The story is two years old and came to mind because it took place at the same venue RLH went to last night lol.

Everything is fine so far. Everyone is sleeping, as expected

May i please have the whole story again? It is..... a but strange

Hey! All sleeping here too

But i heard about free books and a free $20 to thrift so that was that

Babe?

Oh hello

What part of the story would you like clarified?

Was it real?

100%

How to shut down a good time in 10 seconds lol

So you intentionally grabbed sole strange girl's tit at a concert venue?

I mean she draped herself over me she wasn't complaining

And the whole thing lasted maybe 5 seconds

Was she trying to take you home?

I think she was just drunk and flirty and who knows, maybe she wanted more. But we did our little reel and she went on her way

And rlh?

Was in the bathroom

Does she know about any/all of it?

My story above is about how I told her and what happened next.

She completely shut down

Like a hard stop

What did she think?

She was pissed

Why?

Bc I touched another woman

Why did you tell her?

We were being flirty and I thought it might be a little tease.

You and rlh?

Yeah

How arr you today?

I'm good ! A little sleepy ATM but good

That's good!

What have you been up to?

Just vegging lol

Could be shoppppppiiiinnnggggg!!!!

Omg i got so many books already!

Freeeee!!!!!!

Is anyone awake yet?

Just Nitya

Is that the sickie?

He was, yeah

Did youhwarabout last night at all?

No, dude the attendees are still sleeping lol

Maybe you stayed up!

Want some boards?

null

Fr come have a little resale therapy

I'll buy you lunch!

Coffee?

Weed?

Pweeeeeeeeze

Aww!

Boards then or just me sad.

Tristessssssse

My poor baby!

😢

And now?

Hey you

I'm escaping

Right now

Have you eaten?

I desperately need to eat

I have not eaten. Im still our lol

Want to go somewhere?

Sure if you feel like it!

Where are youuuuuu

1408 lake lansing rd lol

Omw!

Oh yay! Im interior

2025-01-18T18:26:14

Merci milles foid mon cher!!!!

*fois

null

2025-01-18T20:08:03

https://open.spotify.com/track/2dL8xBmPwWbpO69lqMiYdL?si=7rb_LnT_QfehKiPk48GR7A

2025-01-18T21:18:33

https://open.spotify.com/track/3V8XBqBfJemhd1CP3tRZIB?si=z-P9PxWJRjaXjWtPPbKloQ

2025-01-18T22:34:45

I just pulled a splinter out of my finger using magnifying goggles #dra

And sterile thingies

Bruh

Why you gettin splinters!?

Long story ending in "Popsicle stick"

What is the first question you ask in this investigation

1 what kind of popsicle stick

2 was it used?

3 is there a snack?

4 can someone please turn off ' baby shark '?

5 who dis?

Doo doo doo doo doo doo?

6 rhymes with

Doo!

You are of the doo

I am so glad

Did you nap?

How are you feeling rn??

Did you know I can invoke an involuntary urge to become fucked by me just by baking bread in your house?

https://open.spotify.com/track/1azxOUjt2VSjhqRvgRDryg?si=tEokQBhnRp-3GkYad4Pc8w

Lol WOW

Hmmm?

Heyy

Hiiiiiiieeeee

Yay!

Did you sleep?

I will never be jealous of your sleep

As much as I want you

I want to know you are sleeping well even more

I dont think i napped, really. Well, maybe a bit. In the living room

Alrighty

I'm picking up a strong go signal here. The usual procrastination, but I'm feeling confident about freedom by noon Sunday

Only
13
Hours

That is tomorrow, lol

Do you know how long you plan on having me, wherever we may be?

Let's say until late afternoon or 7 pm Monday?

Or what works

But yeah

I have no idea what works

I'm saying it's open from my pov

Okay :)

I'm just the u-guy, idk

The whom, now?

I can drive you
Anywhere

Mmmmmm

I def twisted that meaning

Perv

And if you should like a different venue we can def do that

I expect we'll have 24-30 hours

Oh? As per what such venue?

Idk
I know a place with a hot tub room lol

Actually very close to both of us

Oh is it?

Right

University quality inn it is

I dropped my eye drops on the floor uncapped

:(

Noooooo!!!!!

Sillyboi

Yuck

I'm squirting poop in my eye now

How is your evening going?

It was my cheapo Kroger eye drops it's ok

#all poop matters

Please refrain from conjunctivitusing yourself

My conjunction junction is fully operational

Ir has that function?

Irl has the function of my conjunction junction that's what she said haha

Oh i know it is!

I'm glad you recognize this

Fair maiden

Well it's not like im just a bill, sitting here on capitol hill or anything lol

Did i tell you anything today you didnt already know?

Yes definitely

Oh really?

Yes no question

Can i have your thoughts please?

Complicated

Not me

You

Story

Much of the familial lore was new to me

This is impossible for me to keep track of ATM machine

But I will pick it apart no worries

You did retell a few things but packaged in a much longer story arc

I kind of forgot also, about my brother's funeral

We waited 2 weeks after the fire because his best friend wasnt able to come home from army duty

And so best friend wric brought a girl he had just met before he left for duty

And that girl had gotten pregnant on their first date

Ane that is how i got my non bio nephew, Andrew

Have I told you my spy theory of you?

No?

Also.... funeral was 8/21

My aunt (Lauren's mom, my mom's sister's) birthday. Which was the same day my brother was sentenced and went to jail in Harrison Mi at Clare Cty jail 10 years earlier

Right

So there's that too

I dont do well in August

Yeah

31 days of let's do better

https://open.spotify.com/track/6CLCRTsAwlHV5ZMB3H99OO?si=poO2KTeqT7OqO-kRLoCa5w

And back to school weather fucks with my head

It's a thing for traumatic events. Like, you might not even know why but all of a sudden you're back in a headspace because the air and the sky are the same and your core kkows it so your primate brain tells you "oh, we've been here in this same status before, there's danger"

I understand this completely

It's a visceral sensation

Yes

The angle of the light

The temperature

The humidity

The smells

It's a perennial favorite

Then the push of adrenaline that has nothing to figjt, hence panic attacks

Are you familiar with clonazepam?

Klonopin is the other name

Is it anti psychotic?

Let me check on that

It's a benzo,i know that much

I remember a bit from the lab, not much

This is toxicology stuff to me

Or antispasmodic?

Are you a spasmo

I dont think that's okay to ask in 2025

Lol

I just wet mopped a bunch of my basement lol

Now

Oh?

Spasmo you, or non

Lol

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clonazepam

Good good

What is your relationship with this

Back when i got out of inpatient ED treatment, they had me on a bunch of drugs, klonopin was one of them. I weighed 99 pounds at my height and took it 4 times a day. If i was even half an hour late i would end up in hospital with sevvvvvvere panicking

I feel like i was connecting that to something just now but idk

Mmm

Are you telling me I should reconsider my weekend plans?

Why would you think that,

What would I do for a Klondike bar

Isn't that a thing?

Honestly

If you only wanted to press your naked chest against mine

For like one minute

I would be so happy rn

That sounds intimate and fantastic

I am so looking forward to spa-ing you up personally

What are your intentions?

And I hope you have a good time with the professionals as well ofc

I want to give you a gentle handsy all over you
Warm
Oily
Contact
Pressure

Kisses

Et c

So that massage oil stuff you have

It wont harm me if it gets internalized?

No

Okay

And I have other as well

Very simple and unscented

No icky oils. If scent is a concern there are excellent alternatives

Never patchouli

Noooo

I dont like lavender

No never

Nooo

Not that either

I'm surprised you don't remember

I do

Ah

Yeah you will know it instantly

If you don't like it please tell me

Why dont you like patchouli?

Equal parts learned response And and overbearing nature

Cliché

Nag Champa ftw

This is definitely one thing the Hare Krsnas are on top of

Is there something new/special/unique youre looking forward to trying? Or even just looking forward to asking me?

Tbh

I'm so desperate to merely have you

But

Infoi

Lol oops

I finally found my bikini bottoms lol

Genuine ask: what makes you want to have me so much?

Hmm!

More complicated than I initially thought

50% emotional attraction

50% physical attraction

50% reciprocation

50‰ intellectual attraction

something like that

Thank you

Emotional attraction. That's a different idea

Tell me

I don't know what you mean by it, tbh

It's listed first for a reason

Could you please say more? I have a idea of my own over here but i need conceptualization

Yes ofc

I am emotionally invested in pleasing you. It makes me happy

I am also emotionally invested in your success. You are so worth it. Most I want is to see you thrive

Thank you

How guarded do you think i am for you between when we met the first time on 91424 and now?

I think less

You think?

https://open.spotify.com/track/2mDXYZlH7DfTPUx1VVm3pT?si=F6t7bYbCSQelXHLp8Bm8JQ

And please if you do listen to it

Please also listen to the next song on that album, entitled 'Rain'

Okay, doing it

Explain your thoughts on me being guarded or not

Plz

One sec

Sorry lol little catharsis there

Sometimes these sneak up on me!

So

You guarded

A tale through time

Is it so
They are all asking this
Everyone is
No
Actually I am though

And I say yes

Huh?

Fair Lady

Mm?

Right

You def told me things back then

And many more since

heading up to bed soon, might be delayed

Do you think that my guard is only in what i tell you?

I'd say 80% of my understanding is based on what you have told me

Understanding of what? Of me in general?

I was literally answering your question

Hmmm. Okay thanks

Is everything ok?

Pretty much, why?

Just want to be sure

Does it seem like something is wrong?

No t really
I'm still a little tenderized from earlier,
So probably hypersensitive

What happened earlier?

This bit

I did see that

What was cathartic, the song? Please tell me morw

Yes, the two songs to be exact

It's an oldie but a goodie

Good times

More please?

My classmates , and adjacent years' friends loved Bauhaus

And when they split we got two new band

And then some

Tones on Tail is in my opinion some of the best

And so

Why?

I find it creative and original

And also expressive

And the original band was full of musical genius

Very cool

2025-01-19T06:22:20

Hi :)

2025-01-19T07:24:00

What's up?

How are you?

Good, good

2025-01-19T09:56:22

Hieya

Oh hello

How are you?

So good

??

It's just me and the cats

Wait, for real?

Yep!

Damn!

How'd that happen?

They got up at 6 and left about two hours ago

Oh mannnnn

Whaddya think about that?

2025-01-19T12:45:59

I think today kinda sucks because that seems fantastic and I'm ultra sick :(

Oh noes :(

I'm sorry

null

I have zero voice too

Oh my goodness!

And a nose that's somehow congested and dry and being too extra

Well crap!

I know. Im mad.

Like, actual mad

Aww

My poor baby and I can't even take care of you

Doggone

Ughhhhh

I am even madder thay I'm disappointing you

Aww well I'll forgive ya

Ok :(

Do you know if you have other time(s)?

Hmm? I'm free all week but for working lok

Okay

I will actually rest up before Wednesday

When do theyyyyyy return?

Idk
It'll be at least a solid week if not 2 or 3

So there is time babe

Okay :)

That makes me feel a lot better

Yeah no worries

Are you okay?

I'm ok babe

Little bit sad but it ok

Im so sorry!

I know. It's not your fault

If it would be easier to escape while i was sick, I'd even wear a mask the whole time

Well that's no fun

Just rest up and we'll snuggle as soon as you're better

I hope so

I want a caring daddy right nowwwww though

I'll come and get you if you want!

Well I'm in a house with 2 current (human) cohabitants. Unsure how to get around that

Yeah...

She's here thru Tuesday now

Well at least she'll be back home on Wednesday

Right

The backnof my nasal passages and my throat feel like theyre stirring up lava with hot rocks and glass. Any ideas how to get them to feel less like that?

Please

Do you know how to do a mild saline nasal wash?

I dont think so

But that slso isn't where the pain is

Well here the deal. Put a small pinch of salt in your palm, fill up your cupped palm with tepid water, plug one nostril, and snort the water up the other nostril. It will clear your sinuses and your throat. Spit. Repeat on other side. Use very little salt until you know how much is tolerable. It doesn't take much. Too much will burn

I cant figure that out :(

Aww

Kinda better-ish. Gargled with my mouth sore rinse (not like disease sores but for when i have lots of periodontal work) and used some saline nasal spray. Been drinking Bahamian tea with honey and huffpuffing albuterol

How you?

Ok good job!

I just finished stuffing my face

With what?

Omg this sickness sucks so bad

Tempe Burger and French fries

I'm so sorry babe :(

Where was the burger from?

Are tempe and tempeh the same ?

Need nap. Back soon i hope

Ok babe sounds good

Sorry

It's ok baby don't fret

2025-01-19T17:51:35

Hi babe

Heya

How are you feeling?

Less throat/soft palate pain

Just waking up. how about you?

Kinda same. I was napping until about 15 minutes ago

Aw 😊

What are you up to now?

Sitting here with cat, debating whether I should do something lol

I think you should :)

Again, i am so so sorry

It's okay babe! Don't beat yourself up about y

It

:/

Poor babe!

NO kidding

And in so many aspects

Whay are you choosing to do?

Washing bedding

Maybe take care of dishes

What would sound good for me to consume?

Oh, good good.

Expecting company? Lol

I would go for soup

Or similar

Yeah I was kinda hoping to sneak my mistress in here

Maybe she's available later and you can get better options

Soup is warm :(

Warm is good?

Noooooo

Oh
How about some fruit? Do you have canned peaches or pears or fresh Cuties?

I do

I think maybe some of that

I wish it tasted how i want a taste to be

Maybe i should take a shower

There you go!

😊

Now my nose is bleeding. Fantastic :(

Argh!

How are you doing?

I am making Mac & cheese
What should I add to it?

Broccoli?

Just finished my shower

Oh yummy how was it?

Long lol

Good , good

How is the macnchz going?

It's stewing as I mull over additives. Broc is a class A suggestion and I'll probably do that

Hope I have 🥦

NB I used ghee instead of butter lol

Oh interesting!

Do you have fresh tomatoes?

Unfortunately no

Good call though

Thanks

So, whats been happening?

I did a little laundry ... Need to get back to that lol

Made me ghee-us

NO

MC GHEE-US lol

The joke is dead

Rip

Um did aquarium water chemistry experiment!

Et?

For science

Good American science

So city water is like ...

You don't really want to know this right

How are you lulz

I am.... meh

You dont want to know this lolz

I want to know if you're ok

Akshially

I think so

Just a lot of mid sternum on up issues

Respiratory yeah?

Yeah but not deep yet

More painful and top barking

Right

Dang I'm sorry babe!

There's also just soooo much nose snot

And my throat seems oddly dry

And my eyes will not stop watering and kinda hurting

What a rotten deal for you :(

Warm packs or wash cloths on your face to break up the goos

Poor baby

But my eyes feel hot ao i do not want the warm near them

Right ofc

We always just stuck a bag of frozen peas on

And note well the temps are dropping mightily and your inside air will get very dry

So grab your nearest moisturizing salve

And work that on in now

Have a humodifier on each floor. Should prob get another one

Good good

As long as they are kept clean this is great

As if you needed me to tell you that

Sorry!

No worries

You need the old cucumber slice deal

For my eyes?

Yes!

I can make that happen

I've never personally done this but it makes sense

Cukes are so mellow, but gelatinous cool and

And

Phallic I guess

But they are tasty I like em

Have you used something non literal phallus in a, um, pleasing way for someone?

Yes. Not huge numbers of times but yea

It's good fun

Really?

I'm intrigued now

Well then

Please entertain this curiosity

I want you to

I'm happy to oblige or assist

Yeah good! Yay! I will definitely do this for you

Fucckkkk yay! I hope so :)

I was hoping you'd try something else too

Yes yes what is it?

Are you familiar with The Rose toy thing?

A little bit, only from OF tbh. They seem wicked hot :P

I have one

Or at least something(s) very similar

Niiice

Air devices

Ever used it?

Pumps?

No pumps, i think it's air pulsing. Not really sure

Ive never used or done anything with myself

I was hoping you would

Perfect!

Different toy each time

I'm down

One thing i have that i know for sure if the lily allen womanizer

If you want to look up anything

Fir science

I do not understand the results I am looking at

Copy pasta?

Lily allen womanizer

But yeah hold on

https://www.cosmetify.com/womanizer-liberty-by-lily-allen/

Ah yes. There is one in my bedroom :/

I bought a special USB charger cord for it lol

I have a spare cord if you need it

This product was very popular here

I have like..... a lot of toys and things

We didn't buy it

Wait what?

Right she got it at a lingerie showing probably orchestrated by Toni

This is all time fave afaikt

As far as I can tell oops

What is word? Lol

I'll show you what i have in the next few days. You tell me what to bring. Okay?

I want to know the hottest things you can imagine with and from and of me. And share them, please. I cant know what i dont know ;)

Right

Bring any three

There's not really anything i dont want you to do. And by that i mean i am begging you to try everything

Bring any three your choice any way you like

And surprise me

Do you just mean toys?

That's what I want

Yes toys lol

Or more is fine

Your discretion

What is the sexiest you can imagine me looking?

Black lace babydoll matching bra and panties

White thigh highs

Rope or kerchief in your hair

Brightly lit

Red lips

Crouching on your knees with your head back

How did I do

Fantastic i think, thank you

Crouching in what way?

What act

Roughly in this manner

null

Oh, okay

So, not a sexual act at that point

Rifht

Your pale skin will make an excellent contrast

How do feel about black hair?

Black i dont think looks great on me, and is reallllly hard to come back from

Why?

Just idle thought

No worries babe

Really dark brown is different

I mean
Let's talk

Oh no

I am up to no good though

Lolol

Why do you think up to no good?

I'm inventing your cottage industry porn channel. Aka the cottage pschzzz

Right

Loose lips and all

I am confused?

You should be by now
I am at gibberish stage 2

What have you had?

Sadly. It was not you

Just the usual

This weed grind is perhaps spicier than previous

V nice

I need you to figure out a thing too

They left me some!

Oh yes ofc what is it?

How do i sit on your face. Like, how do we make that work?

Oh girl damn

I reckon there are 2x2 ways basically

* you can face towards my feet
Or the other way

* you can be upright
Or crouching or dipping into it

I meant more of how do i not kill you?

You do need to use your knees to elevate your princess parts

I mean I will breathe you as long as I can

Dude

What are we going to do for your birthday

What do you want?

You in the spring fields in your beautiful sun dress

https://open.spotify.com/track/08wxu4y4LukTbWywWtxRYz?si=gABeZKtxT1uMFdm8gkGHLg

Glasgow heartthrobs

Cute 😊

There is much of my musical interest that I owe to HS/college gf's younger brother

Also of Chinese/Taiwanese descent

Quite artistic fellow

When you went down on her. How did you know what to do?

I had no idea what I was doing tbh

I understood some basic anatomy but that was about it

Did you know that other people did that?

I did, but I didn't understand what goes on

Can you explain that at all?

Fwiw, i always understood much MUCH less

Right

As in, did not know a gorl could receive oral stimulation

And thought the in and out of digits was all there was to any fingering or self pleasuring

This was until my twenties

Hmm

I did not know much of anything

I knew oral sex in each direction had a name and was a thing on paper as it were.

I didn't understand what it meant to do the thing

My friend Mike

Who killed himself in the 90s,

He told me about the first he did it

Licked a girl's pussy

We were in hs

She was a beautiful plump French horn player

Religious as fuck

Well somehow he got between her thighs

I've never been more jealous of anyone lol

I let it go though lol

That

Is all I knew

What was the txt right before you let it go? That you were jealous?

Sorry, got interrupted

null

Oh yumm!

Hope so!

Did you see my question?

Yes I'm not sure how much you missed
One sec

null

Okay yes

I didnt miss anything :)

Thanks

Roger that

When you asked if you could kiss hers, did 1st gf say anything? Did you have any idea what it would be like?

She said yes
And I didn't know, no

How did you do things next?

I don't remember a lot tbh

I'm sure I used my tongue a lot lol

So you knew that much

Lick lick lick mmm

Ohhhh i so want to be with you

Lick lick lick

You weren't afraid of her taste?

Yeah

No I rolled with it

I think i would like more parts of me sucked

Maybe teased too

Oh goodie!

I want to experiment and play too :)

And I'm all for sucking

And teasing

Fuckkk yes! Same

Though i think it's been already a lot of experimenting and teasing

You keep doing such fantastic things

Yay! I love playing with you

Same

And I hope I get to hold and squeeze you lots and soon

I hope so, too

What are the top experiments for you to perform on me?

Find out what kind of stimulation I can provide with my tongue at your vaginal orifice

2025-01-20T05:19:59

The sleep took over again :/

Good morning!

2025-01-20T07:35:57

So your question.... pressure is a big desire right now, and maybe circling/swirling, I'm inteigued by the idea of your tongue going inside. My best sensitive spots there are riiiiiight at the entrance and a little above, basically along the center line as vlose as you can get to the bone, and just above my opening above her orifice headed toward my clit

2025-01-20T09:00:07

I love waking up and reading about your princess parts ❤️

My princess parts?

Nah, theyre yours

How are you feeling today babe?

I think better!

How are you?

Yay!
I'm doing well

What will you be doing today?

Good question

What should it be?

I definitely need to tend to the kitchen

Are you in the mood to do anything?

I'd kinda like to bake something

Oh you should!

What about confetti blondies?

Emm?

Like brownies but not cocoa

And the confetti is whatever you hage for color - sprinkles or small candies or whatever

Ahh

Are you headed out anywhere today?

I was thinking I might yeah

Aww

Where to?

I was thinking I should go back to D&D to have another look at speakers

And there's the furniture place too

The southside one?

Right

Sounds fun!

It's bloody cold out

Then maybe you stay in? I wish i would be allowed to go out

Is maybe possible but no idea what tim3

Hmm

Would you be allowed to go out if you were just staying in somewhere else?

I doubt it

But why do you ask?

Just angling for ya

Thanks

The "plan" would be to go out while there is inevitable sleeping

Ah yes

Are you looking for something besides th3 speakers?

Maybe an air compressor

For what? Pneumatic tools? Tires?

Possibly tools. Mostly for cleaning parts though

Like to blast off yuck?

Right. And dust on camera stuff too

Yep

I need weirdly specific stuff today lol

But i want it NOWWW Mentality

Yeah?

Yeah. A few totes. Tissues. Prob some other stuff i cant remember roght this secone

I'm still the only one awake anyway :/

I'm shocked lol

I just
.
.
.
Whatever

Lulz

You know what they say

Fuck this noise?

You snooze you lose

Yeah that too

But tell me how you really feel plz

He is supposed to feed her between 7 and 8

Oh shit

Ive been up since 5

He keeps telling me she will not infringe on me and what i want to do, that's obv always a lie

Emmhmm

Sorry

I decided ollie gets a fancy rug

null

Is he a fruit maven lol

He is fancy kitten

Is it normal for albuterol to induce shakiness?

Lol at this- i dojt have the right tissues

Well let me help? I am a household expert!

Yes I find too much Albuterol makes for increased pulse and could cause shakes

Thanks!

I didnt know if it was a bad reaction

I would LOVE a household helper too

Yeah?

Absofuckinglutely!

So would I lol!

We swap?

Yeah. You and I team up, everyone else can do whatever

Oh definitely!

You make food yet?

Time you might escape?

Yep I just ate.

Reckon I'll get a quick shower and

What did you make for food?

Just cereal lol

Better than your typical bean broth

Lol

Where are you headed and for how long?

I'm thinking D&D first on Cedar

Do you want me to pick you up?

Can i let you know in a bit? When you leave?

Sure thing. I'll be 20-30 minutes before I go anywhere

Cool thanks!

Getting ready to leave the house. Do you want me to pick you up?

I think i have to pass :( No need for extra suspicions here

Thanks though!

Right right

If you feel like finding a random few things, you let me know!

Specifically, two 32 or less quart size storage totes and some cubical box tissues. I am pro lotion today

Oh! When you're at the places, can you show me if you find cool disney or harry potter stuff? Or alice, per usual

Please, ofc

Roger that!

Thanks!

I also wear lots of whatever you want ;)

:)

How goes?

Not bad!
For future reference, second hand stores have their TVs on and it's inauguration day :(

Ewwww

Fwiw, none of my thrifty places

What'd ya get? What's the coolest thing you saw?

Found me a subwoofer finally, and got a little air compressor

Coolest thing....
Hmm

Plenty of coldest things!

Lol ofc!

Home?

Yep

What you up to?

NOT opening new tissues

Lol

Been cleaning. Just ate.

What will you be doing?

Goofing around with my new acquisitions

You said nothing about them!

Well I surely did lol

I know you have at least 3 bew devices, and what the 2 items are

The. End.

Yep I need to fix a small leak in the compressor hose

And figure out where to put my subbie

Well it's your house ...

I'll go wherever ,)

Oh I have a nice place reserved for you

PS cats hate air compressors

Where's the place?

In my bedroom!

How delightful! Tell me more

Yes! Recently vacuumed, this quaint post-war kit home bedroom features low ceilings, chipping paint, and sparse insulation. It makes a great excuse to cuddle up!

Sounds great!

Amenities?

A freshly made bed with nothing matching - truly a retro ensemble

Preheating available on request

I was expecting different but i suppose that suffices

I could make it smell like lilacs

There is a window

I could chat up the woman next door to she if she would please come borrow a cup of sugar

Or chat up the girlie across the street and she if her and her beau need a cameraman

Oh, love hat!

*that

And then there's the cutie across the way that moved in last summer with her new hub.

Here's a character you can develop:
They are actually a bad guy
Playing a good guy
Playing a bad guy
Playing a good guy
Tryna steal yer wife
yw

Mmhmmmm

Right

Wednesday, eh?

Yes my fair child?

What be your plans?

I haz day off lol

So

And so

I should love to see you

Here, there, everywhere

I just need to know plansy things please

I would love time alone with you

Mmhmm, i hear you

Say more

It comes down to my place, your place, or else place

We need a spreadsheet

Pros and cons

It's a grid

We can both do that!

With quadrant

Right

Make informed decisions!

Ok

I need headings

Perfect

I would say

Location
Pros
Cons

Options are your place or elseplace

Ok good

My place is available as it turns out, and it's free

Right right

But we have to be a little careful

Right

I have a goofy plan

Shoot

I can drop you off on the other side of my house

Which is also behind a hedge from the nosey neighbor

Okay

Lol

Downside is my house is a dump

You have yet to articulate the actual plan for the day

I'm sorry I don't have a script

Meal prepping and tax filing it is

??

You wabt to spend the day doing....?

Maybe I don't actually know yet

I didnt know what you wanted to do that day. That is all.

Babe

I can't/don't make plans like that

I feel awful telling you this

Why?

Why do you feel awful?

Because I'm dancing around euphemisms for "back off plz"

I cant

And I hate saying that

That's okay

To have it make better sense for you, maybe, I'm trying to figure out what i need to do in the next 36 hours to have my physical and mental self ready for. As in, should i assume I'm staying in a bed or a room with you all day, do i need to drink a bunch more, what meds should i take or avoid, where should i go tomorrow vs th3 rest of the week, what does my OT need to look like, things like that

I'm really sorry. I wasnt trying to add stress to you at all; just trying to figure out what i need to do to be the best prepared i can be

In really blunt terms for this instance, I'm wondering when getting waxed would be my best option

My ability to spend time with you is foremost the question of whether to you feel and in fact are sufficiently healthy.

Do you understand the order of precedence?

And all the peripheral stuff is 100% optional

Like, you don't need to load up all these requirements for me babe

I dont know what to say

Say you will prioritize your health

By which it seems you have a lot of energy
Are you feeling better?

I still dont know what to say

And... both yes and no. I cant figure out how to feel better but i dont feel like death so much anymore

Right
If I can be part of the solution
You know, holler

And deal with me later

Wait what?

Why would you need to be dealt with?

I am all ears for solutions

Sidenote that i get to wfh tomorrow

And may have between 2 and 3 hours alone here after that

Oh, noice

Imma give you a nice rubdown in my bed.
How does that work for you?

The room will be cold, but I can make accommodations

On Wednesday?

Regardless of day, it sounds beyond amazing

Let me ch ck

Wednesday?

I can squeeze in you that day!

Lol

Uno reverse!

Oh crap is it Tuesdays child again?

I am lost

Yay!

Me too if I'm honest

Want me to explain?

Have at it!

Have you ever played Uno? The cards game

Yes! It's been a long time but yes

The reverse card takes away what you were going to do and giv3s it from me to tou instead

I was implying this in reference to you squeezing me in (i can squeeze you in on Wednesday lol)

OMG lol

I am a dullard at heart

You are la bamba

Los bablmitoes

Lol

Mea bambs

Bambes

Lol

Afk awhile

2025-01-20T20:40:17

Heyy

Oh ceci la

As a linguist, do you have an intuitive sense for the purpose of gender in nouns?

Declension makes sense as it situates the noun in the correct role. But gender seems only to serve as a reason to memorize an additional set of endings.

It depends on the language

French? I have a sense. German? I do not. English? Follows both, i guess for English i default to societal norms (car is a girl, truck is a boy, etc)

Why ask?

Are the societal norms the reason for, or the result of the distinction?

That would be an interesting doctoral dissertation

Right

What is your haunch?

Oops lol

Do you know the french wo4d for vagina? (I'm leading to a point)

I don't actually

Vagine (veh-zheen)

It is masculine

Mind blown

Seriously

So i think it is as a result of whoever wad in power and what they wanted to value owning

For real

Like ships and vessels and

And animals?

And windows?

And furniture

I don't get it

Countries are different too

Not quite

Oh wait what

In English too

La france

Le pays-bas

La russe

Le mexique

In american English, what would you call the home country of familial lineage for Germany?

Is it the same as for Russia?

I am not afraid of your wizardry woman

I feel yucky :(

Oh dang
Sorry what is happening

I feel like a lot of me is on fire. And my upper abdomen is making everything feel worse because of the pain and discomfort there

I would gladly take whatever that would help me but idk if anything would

I am open to suggestions please

Is it heartburn?

I dont really know

It kind of feels like heartburn everywhere inside me but also feels like im swallowing hot glass shards

And the on fire sensation is my skin, mostly

Right

My eyes feel hot and it's been driving me crazy for days

How is the uri?

Okay i guess. More upper and annoying than anything

Right ok

And my abdominal pain is localized primarily to my upper right quadrant

What do you make of it?

I don't even know

Dang I'm sorry lover

Me too

I am not very nice right now

I just want to feel better

And for things to be better

Yes

I'm really really sorry

Why?

For being perpetually the mess i am

What can I do?

I don't know

Actually, that might be part of the answer

What do you think i need?

A safe place and time to heal

Yeah 👍

Unsure why the thumbs up is there

Do you think any of that is possible?

Yes I do

How do you think so?

I guess you have to want it
And it doesn't hurt to start in a safe space

That's probably all true. Thank you.

What are you doing now?

Kinda falling asleep

Then goodnight, sweetheart

2025-01-21T07:45:17

Hey you

Same to you

null

How are you?

What is this picture?

Oh I'm so glad you asked!

My cousin's kids (Reagan is the girl, Bailey is the boy). They wanted to mark the auspicious positive change in history that was made

These are the same people who have MLK services at their church

She lives in Princeton

Wow

That's my mom's brother's daughter (her fam)

She was in midtown on 9/11. Actually, the building where she worked ended up being the one CNN ised to broadcast from every day.

Her brother walked from where he worked in Manhattan to his apartment in Brooklyn that day

Girl cousin Jessie is 9.5 years olfer than i am, boy cousin Dan is 4.5 older than i am. They always treated me like i was really dumb and really young

Dan legit walked up to me at Leslie's funeral (in novi since the rest of us live here in michigan) and said "hey rebecca, it's me, your cousin Dan"

At least he spoke to me i guess?

That uncle (my mom's brother Ron) was a year or 2 older than she was. They hated each other but he wad super close with their sister, my aunt Marcia, who is Lauren and Leslie's mom.

The summer i graduated hs/went off to school was the summer they stopped talking and when my brother went to jail (nope, not a word to me from anyone). My grandpa, their dad, was still alive at this time. My grandpa would die that November and that's the last time my mother ever saw him. The last time they ever talked was a year and some change before that funeral. He died a couple years back. My mother was not invited to, told about, nor did she attend Ron's funeral

But anyway, how are you?

Kinda sleepy but doing fine I guess

What's wrong??

I'm just sleepy/lazy this morning

Oh, I'm sorry

It's ok how are things? Are you feeling better?

Im okay thanks

Still weird fire skin but maybe i just need to hypermoisturize

Things in general are... kinda same

Feel like i was borderline identify crisis last night so thank you for quelling that

If sheeeeeee goes home tonight, would you like to go on an errand?

Sure!

Yay! 🎉

You need anythingM

I do actually

Ohh?

I am out of milk
Forgot that last night

Where do you get yours?

It's delivered once a week. Tomorrow's the day but not until noon

So I'll just get a half gallon from the store

I have milk if you want some of it

Just got it this weekend

That's nice of you!

Not to be rude, but.... yeah? Isnt that just something you'd expect of me?

Like, i don't know why i wouldnt?

I just thought I'd say so

I appreciate that, thank you

❤️

Okay wait -

I think my actual thought is more like

Of course i would offer you milk! I would yive you the whole world and I'm really sorry if that is unclear

Aww ty

I feel like i am not life-ing well these last few ... whiles

Nbd it's not always easy

Yeah

Have you eaten today?

Not yet

Aw

Well.

Deep subject lol

Ffs

She is staying here again tonight

And Beasley says they can wfh tomorrow

So there's never any escape for me

Seriously

My jaw already hurts from this

Not to mention its her birthday

Well it was on Sunday but it's today according to whatever he told her and she doesnt know any better

So any of the random stuff i git her (bc why would he ever think to do that) is what i get to wrap today

Would you like bright sides to this?

I would

I think i can still manage to get out of the house tomorrow

I am still sick, so swapping as much fluid as i want with you wouldn't be as great of an idea for tomorrow anyway probably

This might be the extra stress i need to spend a night and day away this weekend. Or at least a whole-ass day

What are you thinking?

Amd again, immensely sorry but i let you know as soon as i did

I figured that was better than last minute but please correct me if I'm wrong

Yes of course, always best to know

And I'm realllllllllly sorry

Also trying to stay chill because flipping out makes me breathe weird and coughing hurts rn

Good call

It's too cold to be out with breathing issues anyway

Meh

I am wfh today

Have to make up an in office day in Friday for it

Lovely, eh?

How are your records stored?

Translation is that i need to store mine somewhere but i dont have a great solution other than an large plastic crate or tote

null

Lemme at en! Alphabetized in less than an hour by artist

But then you have to choose how beyond thar

Lol they are alphabetized:)

And I made dividers for some artists

Sexyyyyy

Lol

Yes

But I appreciate the offer! They were unorganized a year ago. It drove me insane

Wait til i show you my sexiest writing implements!

You know my books are alphabetized in the fiction section right?

Yeah I think you told me that

And non fiction is in my own dewey system

The Dewey GAF system

...genius?

Dewey Cheatam and Howe

Dewey dew drops sparkling in the morning mist

Some dew

And some dew not
This one has a little thought

Hmm?

Just mindless riffing

That's nice :)

2025-01-21T12:17:47

How is the working?

It's taking a break

Ah

You okay?

Did they all make it to AR okay?

Yep they did

Got there about 7pm Sunday

Please tell me how you are and what youre thinking?

I kinda mopey and not looking forward to afternoon neetings

Besides the obvious me factor, why so mopey? Then, what about the meetings?

I just feel like I got up on the wrong side of the bed again, and want to go to bed so I can try again

I understand

Claim a migraine?

In all honesty, can you just say you have a personal issue and take the time for yourself?

An i pink?

null

You're privileged, btw

I have put on makeup since my shower

No one sees me like this

Ty it's nice to see your face! 💖

Haha, thanks

But am i pink? I feel warm and flush

You do look a bit flushed

Firefaced

I would love if you could think of activities of a non naked nature for tomorriw if we need them please

Lol ANNN

SFW activities

Like you want me to come over and we can play twister?

Ummmm

You def cannot come over. Sorry, love

I know

Okay

Just kidding

We can go places

It's just a maybe

And going places doesnt have to be the answer

Fair. Also I want to make sure you're actually recovering and not stressing yourself out

Hmm. That's not something that occurred to me

Won't do you any good to pick up another bug while dealing with the first one

Ooo but i could argue that. I wont.

How would i pivk up another bug along the way?

By being in a room with sick people

Are you sick?

No

Hope not!

I just mean the people you might find at shops

Right

I could wear a mask

True

I do have an alternate idea

Lay it on me

It would involve me imposing on you

Hmm?

Trying to figure out id i could come over Friday night and leave eventually on Saturday

Or i can get us a room if you'd prefer

That should work just fine
As long as you aren't scared to be in my house lol

Should i be?

No

But it is a mess

Youve been here

But I have and will continue to clean up here and there

It does not matter to me

And fr, i would love to help you clean

If it makes you feel better, I'll make an exchange with you

Hmm? Exchange?

Did you want the sfw or nsfw version?

Yes :)

Sfw

I will happily accept rides from you if you are ever so inclined ;)

NSFW is oddly the same

Lolol

I'm serious

!!!

I'm happy to give you a ride if I can

Would you like some candy?

Are there puppies too?

null

Byo puppers. We had catses galore

Oh so you're not trying to lure me somewhere with bonbons?

How about shiny things? You like shiny things?

null

Shiny penguin!

Yes!

Hey babe

Heya

FYI there is a bag of books in my car. Sorry about that I missed it the other day.

Is it green?

Yes

Lol thanks!

I wondered where it had gotten off to

It was wandering around in the back seat

Damn curiosity

Bags these days....

I know, right!?

Assuming i can get out tomorrow, it probably wont be until afternoon

What are your thoughts?

My thoughts are I can occupy myself and if you become available, groovy

What if i cannot, at least not for large swathes of time?

I mean its fine I have things I can or should be doing

Would you like to add anything to that?

Umm, like what?

Like you'll be perturbed that you took the day off and I'm flaking on it

I'll just leave you in suspense on that one, but there might be a licking involved at some point

Mmmhmmm i see

Maybe a little tappy tap tap on your precious pink butt

Who knows

You haven't spanked me, have you?

I don't reckon

And look what happpens

Reckon you might like it?

Right?

Oh, there also a "pink" bag in my back seat. I'm sorry I missed that as well.

I blame others for rendering my interior car lights inoperative.

Lololololol

Black and white pink?

That explains a lot

Yeah

Sorry

Oops

Is this just how you keep me attached? Steal my books??

Ssh you're not supposed to know

Aw shoot!

Tomorrow will also be dependent on roads i think:/

Roads are fine.ish.

Yes, but tomorrrrrrrrrow

It's the drivers you gotta watch out for lol

Lol

Y'all are well-appointed for such conditions innit?

Well yah very much

But it may mean i go stir crazy, she stays yet another other night, or i dont get to see you

Right

So, what you up to?

Eating peanuts and talking to you :)

Haha, nice

And wondering why the cats are all looking at me. I fed them 20 minutes ago lol

They think you are now food

O snap right?

I think they dislike the sunwoofer

Lol subwoofer

They act very oddly around it

Now enjoying the olives what you got me

They are delightful tyvm!

Oh yay!

What brand?

Pshhhht i know which

Lol

My everyday everyman's Olive favorite

null

Olive juice and elephant shoes too

Yumm

Get it?

Say them in a mirror

I don't get it

I did it at my phone

Now say I love you

Compare all 3

Lolol

I thought "Olive juice and elephant shoes too" would have some kinda hidden satanic message if I did this. Disappointed

I gotta wash milk bottles! Brb

Heyy

Oie!!!

How're you doing?

Meh. You?

D'accord

What's that?

Comme ci comme ca?

D'ac is agreemebt it understanding

Oh lol oops

Ok is acceptable too

I see. That's the sense I thought I was using

Now I'm confused

You were

A. Understanding my temperament

B. Saying you are okay

B

Right

"Comme ci, comme ca" or "ok" are your best bet

D'accord

"D'ac" works too for that lol

Nice. I didn't know that!

What else are you doing?

I just put some rice on

I should check that actually

Mmhmm

Right. It was perfect timing. I'm chuffed I can make rice on the stovetop consistently.

You're welcome for the timing reminder!!!

Ty :)

For lack of better phrasing...

Do you kind of always want sex with me?

That's a reasonable guess. You're going to be right.

Lol that was a lot of words for "YES"

I love that. Thank you!

It also helps me frame things

For the better

😊

Yay!
Were you unsure that is so?

Yes

Lol and that doesn't mean my preoccupation with that always has to control the situation

Like, I'm single minded, yes

But I can also be patient

I am a good boi lol

Like... i didnt know if i was always attractive i guess?

Something along those lines

You're worth it :)

Ty

To me, that is a different sentiment

Gotta forage. Back soonish

Same!

Heya

Hiya

Did you find food?

Yes!

Did you?

Sure did!

What did you have?

I ended up with a plate of nachos with the mixed bean/mushroom prep I did earlier. Didn't even touch the rice I made lol.

Lol

If you were to go somewhere tomorrow, where would you choose?

And I'm so sorry for the delay - out of my control

2025-01-22T07:44:03

Heyyy

Hiii

How are you babe?

Idk. Okay i think?

How are you?

Did you have more thoughts on today?

Right.

Sorry I napped out lol

Mmhmm

Right

I dont have much to go off of from you right now

What is it you need exactly?

If you are headed anywhere, where that would be and when

What else would you be doing today

How are you

I have no plans
I'm feeling great

Are you working (yet/still)?

I can be flexible

I am working now.

Started at 8, need to work just a bit more.

I'm kind of growlouchy.

I am not trying to be

No worries

Have most of a plan now

Pick between Schuler books, Frandor, or another location of your selection please

Hmm

I should go to Preuss at some point, but maybe not first

Where would you like to meet is basically the question

I see. I guess Frandor

It can be basically anywhere

Also when please

And what would you like me to bring with today

How does noon sound? I need to shower first.
We can get lunch somewhere
And go from there

That should be fine

Please tell me where, or i can try and make a decision

Am i bringing anything?

Idk where you like to hang out in Frandor. I'm guessing it's not the hardware store.

Tbh I hardly know what's in Frandor lol

I can generally find lots of places to hang out

The hardware store can be lots of fun!

So frandor is the choice, yeah?

Yep

Okay

Am. I. Bringing. Anything.

?

Like ???

You tell me

Nope, tne world is a relatively small place. If i need it i can get it

I honestly don't know what you are on about.

Can you please just say what is on your mind?

Yeah. Working on too much at one time, sorry

I didnt know if you needed cleaning supplies or if we needed lubricant or anything in between those options

Inserting Lol to show good mood

Ok thank you. I'm well stocked. Also I kinda put sex out of my mind per your suggestions yesterday

Wait, i suggested that?

I didn't mean to

I'm really sorry

Fuck.

Yeah, a couple times in a couple ways. It's fine if you're thinking differently now, I just don't know how to read between the lines sometimes

That aaid

That said, I don't have any saliva thingies

So there's that

Lol, okay

I can probably explain better in actual words

All good babe

2025-01-22T12:13:00

How's it going?

Hangin in the frandor

How about you?

Same

So many doors

So little Fran

Lol yes

Yeah but also... you live here

Realizing I could not name half of the storefronts here lol

Exactly

Are you behind door number 1, 2, or 3?

Yep

Are you busy ? Would you like to get lunch?

Lol

Someone should water me at least

Can do

Where are we finding me?

Nowhere ATM machine

Er, ??

Ok I've looked at every person in Frandor and they aren't you. So I think you're tricking me

Im in homegoods

Did you want more direction?

2025-01-22T19:12:30

Heya

Hello :)

How are you?

I'm feeling really good
You?

I loved the tele novella discussion. This has been in my faves forever lol

https://open.spotify.com/track/4OmC7LN1EPuaScxcZ4JMMx?si=4ptNfeUtQ_-cd4qrmDsCeg

One sed

Sec

Right

null

null

Lol purrfect!

He is sleeping

More thoughts from you?

Lol kittehs

I had a fabulous time with you

I loved the surprise ending

Yay!

That made me ridiculously happy

Today was so, so beyond fantastic

Yay!

You're a trooper
I would have been holed up even with stir crazy

Why?

Too cold makes me scared if I'm already not breathing well

Nbd for me today
For you? Uncomfortable yeah?

I don't know honestly

I breathe worse in hot

Hmm

And i have had much much much worse for breathing

Ok very good then

I feel bad for you though

I had better plans for us

Aww
Well next time?

I want to give you a massage too

Please and please :)

It's just a pretext to slip and slide around on top of you lol

I liked it a lot today :)

😊

Does your dick feel sex differently at all?

Like between times or partners or anything

Sometimes yes. This is one instance. Neither good nor bad. In some way I feel like the squeeze is "worn in". Not painful, always temporary

And nothing to be concerned about

I guess you could say I feel used lol

Like that I'm too loose or too tight? On you?

No no

Not too much anything

I think me being semi -hard is a factor

I can feel you get harder

Mmmmm

I love that

I hope it's a good thing

Yesssssssss

You make me do that

Nah mate

Some sensatioks are bizarre though

I can only imagine

For a woman

What would come to mind though?

I actually had a brief trippy moment many years ago
While having intercourse
I flipped my "feeling" from that of the man to that of the woman

Or so it was in my mind

And it was different in some way, and in some way it was exactly what I thought it would be

What do you think i would be like tighter?

I mean if you can guide me in I will try :)

Almost always to an extent

But for real, do you think youd fit?

I dunno babes
You're not shrinking anyway not there surely

Hmmm

Noooooo

What?

I think you felt just like you did the day we nighted together

When we b nighting

Am I doing this right

Yes

I just have issues with myself

And you help me work through them

Aww
It's no problem babe

And ty for telling me

It causes a lot more issues at first

That's why i ask things unobectively and kinda weirdly

If it's working, I say yay!

Yes

But it makes a lot of thoughts really hard to discern

Weren't you just telling me how experiments are supposed to be conducted?

Now look I'm all biased

But it's still doubleblind in somesenses

I have a motivation to

What's your motivation?

Lick the back of your neck because

It always turns out well for me, and today especially so!

Yes!

Please return at your earliest convenience

Transportation provided

Actually not joking

Okay!

I need some sleep. I have not had much this week

Ofc

null

Before i try fie that, can you please tell me anything you know about me and my portugal story?

Majority of time spent in hospital
Cool interactions
Crappy medical situation

Do you know the med situation?

What do you know of it, i should ask

Be as blunt as you need to

I don't recall
Legit

And I'm sure you told me

Honestly I might have cancelled it

Huh. Okay. So you dont even know why i was in hospital there?

No

Not atm

Ohhh

I'm sure there's a trigger, can't be too hard to find

There are several

Triggers and med things

Imagine that

You were to bed
And then Portugal
Everything ok?

Yes

I mean yes and no but yes

So when should I shush you
And when should I listen
I think you're as tired
As a newborn kitten

I should be shushed about now

I just physically am not loving the dryness and mouth breathing and dehydration i have for now

Right

The yexh

Indeed

I'm sorry babes

I hope you feel right as rain in the morning

Me too

Thank you for today

And you

Ravishing

I hope you can feel when you give me things i havent felt before

I don't always know they're new to you

But they're New to me

I think you do for important ones

How is any of it new to you?

I want to ask a question

Go ahead

Twice you were non-vocally telling me (asking me) for things

Like breathing lol

Okay

It just made an impression on me

Why?

Do you remember?

No

Np

First was when you wanted water

You motioned drinking

Yeah

You remember this now yeah?

Yes

Cool

Second was when I was kinda cutting your airflow (sorry!) and you waved me off

It's okay

You weren't doing it really

I just needed to cough

Cool cool

Idk why

But when I replayed these later in my head

I thought you seemed so calm about it

Because i was

And I feel like I should ask if this is accurate?

Because I would have been more frantic

We're in the same position

Craaaaaap

Lol

What?

Were I in the same position as you, I would have been more frantic

Oh

And you were calm fr

?

Yes

A few reasons

Those are literal ASL signs and it doesnt always cross my mind that people don't just know them. So i communicated what i needed as best as i could

The next part is good and not good i guess.

Pause

I'm guessing "learned behavior" for the second part?

Jsyk

My main interest in this

More like ive been in suchhhhhhhh worse situations

Only pertains to how I treat you

I knew i had time before i needed to be frantic

Sounds like I'm well inside the green zone

I also trust you almost 100% now so you would have gotten the hint eventually

Ffs yes

And the worst that would have happened iw i would have looked really fucking stupid puking on your bed

Pressure on the abdomen I have experienced personally lol

 ​❤️​ to “ And the worst that would have happened iw i would have looked really fucking stupid puking on your bed ” 

Oh shit I died

It would have been from dry coughing lol

And I forget no one is here to save me

Right

So I think you know my position on breathing

Yes

Vive la air

That's my brand

You dont know ny experiences with it yet though

Nah nah

Maybe someday

Which is why you dont know yet

I will be physically ill

Ty

I dont know how broad you'd even be okay with so until you tell me, just know i also know

Thank you for being caring on this point

It's a profound fear for me

To be fair, i give a prepremptive warning on everything

For unpleasantness

Yes you do

I know whence my distaste comes

And it is distaste
But it's also fear

From when you were very small

Yeah

It wasn't like today

Albuterol was not a thing in people's pockets

There was epinephrine spray

And epinephrine pills

And otherwise ineffective anti allergy meds

Epi is the worst
Except im ofc

Everything else sucks

So many times I sat, outside, in April, in Kalamazoo, wrapped ina blanket, barely able to breathe
For what seem d like hours
Hoping the sun would open from behind the clouds and maybe the Birch trees

Huh

I hope you didn't just wake up in the middle of fuck all and read all that with no context lol

Lololol

Hang on one sec

Hey

Thank you for sharing all of that

Got caught up in my own tiny panic for a sec.

Bad nose bleed, immediately realized i felt like i had an overheated fever, and more jazz such as that

I am okay fot now

I'll talk with you in the morning

Ok babe take care xoxox

2025-01-23T06:52:35

null

2025-01-23T08:33:00

Hi!

Hi!

How are you? How are things today?

I totally slept in by accident lol
All"s well :)
How are you?

I'm okay thanks

Feel like ny barkcoughing is worse but idk. It is what it is i guess

No real news here except i was pretty stunned that he opted to clean the guest room after i did most of it andddddd when it finally inconvenienced him enough to do something about it

That says a lot and none of that's good

So it's like good news/bad news ?

I guess

What are you up to today?

I'll let you know when I'm awake lol

OMG I was sleeping hard. Still trying to shake it lol

Aww

null

Oops

Ooo that's a touch high

null

Feels hard to breathe but i guess not

And i am so tired today

Way to go lol

Sorry!

:)

😛

Heyyyy

Hey

Sorry had a meeting

Oh yeah, no problem

I occasionally need to focus

I also really enjoyed Pablo's, in case i didn't say so

The irony of it being authentic is linguistic, because romance languages dont use possessives

It would be casa de pablo or something

 ​❤️​ to “ I also really enjoyed Pablo's, in case i didn't say so

The irony of it being authentic is linguistic, because romance languages dont use possessives

It would be casa de pablo or something ” 

 ​❤️​ to “ I also really enjoyed Pablo's, in case i didn't say so

The irony of it being authentic is linguistic, because romance languages dont use possessives

It would be casa de pablo or something ” 

Found something noteworthy...

https://www.wilx.com/2025/01/21/blue-cross-blue-shield-needs-trim-600-million-budget/?fbclid=IwY2xjawH_SKxleHRuA2FlbQIxMQABHQpjjeBkHOiLQk21ral5xT6El3MCGZ7fpPexDTKPUo-aZAdC4BXK81fOxg_aem_c0TK4mTitw8aytFnaIoffQ

And on the zuckerpages...

null

They both work here. Like today

And then...

null

null

Wow
Kinda bold

Right?

Busy day for you?

Yeah I have a thing I have to do for profit sharing because we don't have systems. Sound familiar? Lol

Unamused.

What kind of palpable frustrations do you need?

Alas they've been communicated
The road block is colored blue if that tells you anything

I wonder if they have armor?

Or maybe altars too?

They do
Weird!

If ONLYYYYY someone warned them. Weird.

Lol

If only they didn't unilaterally decide how finance operates and tear out a system for accounts payable

What? Like customers or agents wabt monies and the coverage they pay for and reckrds and reliability!?

2025-01-23T14:25:28

Omggggggg and uggghhhhh

This woman

null

2025-01-23T15:34:23

null

But hey, check out this bestest boi!

null

null

Awws

Should I ask how things are?

A little frantic lol
But ok

Wanna talk about it?

It's all good ty
I just had to scramble a bit to pull things together for finance. Done and done now!

Good job!

I thought you were really irritated by me

No!

No such thing

I do have to head out for my hair appt soon though. So don't despair babes!

Have tons of fun!!! Before and afters please :)

Will do!

2025-01-23T18:44:56

Heya

null

null

Awww

How are you?

Good, good. That was somewhat energizing!

Yay!

null

Do i get to see??

Btw, responses may be sporadic for a while

And about this weekend, dear sir

Yes what is it?

And yeah I had him take some pics
Just let me know when it's ok to send

Send please!

null

null

It's not a dramatic visual change

But it feels so much better

Im so glad!

How does it make you feel?

Like a million USD

I'll tell t e m u lol

Lol

Yes yes

I am a riot of a good time

I think so :)

How's it going over yonder

I'm still chuffed and in disbelief that you think I'm fun

Things are okay and less than ideal at the same time. I have a lot of decisions that ate kind of driving me nuts

Can I help with anything?

You wanted to discuss this weekend?

Yes

You were typing then stopped?

I thought you had something to say or ask

I usually do, and yeah, but you go first. I need to forage

My place or somewhere else?

Is that really all you were say-asking?

I didn't have anything honestly. I was recalling this:

??

You never completed that

Yes. It is in my anxious, decision making, not my choices kind of mind that is the now

Cool, cool
If there is anything I can do let me know

I propose my place
But if you prefer not that it's no problem no questions asked

I'll list out what's happening for my mind and maybe you can help

I have to go to the office tomorrow and that's fucking stupid because i am obv sick and there's no reason i actually need to be there, but it's that or sick day or partial sick day. Those are my options. I still have 5 mandatory OT hours this week and oh yes, next week too. And yes, systems are gone saturday night and most of Sunday

I have lots of stupid desky tasks i could be doing from the actual office i guess. I'll be in agony by the end of the day. There's no end in sight for this.

SIL is still here and idk when she's leaving. Spouse took today off, doesnt work Fridays, and idk how to tell him i need to just be alone without him being sus or countering "we leave you alone here" and i don't want a fight byt he also knows I'm crazy in general. I have no idea what to do. Daytime might work then again maybe not, esp for you

There are some things i wanted to do in the greater lansing area this weekend and idk if or how i can even do them when i can't do anything on my own

It would help more if i knew what else was going on but i cant know and it's making me crazier

I got you

I will not pressure into anything, including hanging with me

I also have a couple things I want to jaunt around for this weekend. Maybe there's a common opportunity :)

And I get it. Poking the bear has consequences

That's not the issue, but thank you

I dont want to waste the alone time you have

That does sound kind of wonderful, the jaunting

But i also like.... other time with you

I'm open until I'm not lol

No idea how long that'll last

Have you talked with anyone?

Got a text from Nitya today lol

Is that the first since they arrived?

What was the text?

Plz send cats n cash?

Lol!

Not the first lol

He found me some woodworking tools in an old shed

Thoughtful

Right

Where was this shed?

MIL's place. She has ... 4 sheds?

And a chicken house

A big chicken house

Right

Well it kinda sounds like you should play things by ear for a bit

I'm really sorry

I know. Thanks. I do not do well with that when i have zero control

Totally understand

Yeah. Would be much easier managed if i had more of a choice about the office. Or more sick time i guess. Or if i could decide what i do tomorrow if i opt to not work

Right

Maybe go to the spa

Yes, someone beyond fantastic has made this more realistic

But

I cannot do anything if souse & sil are still here

Right

Well use me as a sounding board or whatever you need

I did, thanks

😊

HEEEE ISSSSSS AASSSSLLLLLLEEEEPPPPPP

fml

Oh no

Oh no what?

Is he asleep in your bed?

No

Oh ok. I jumped to conclusions

But i cant discuss anything

And I'll have to wake him up after not too long

And as if i didnt want to just sleep all week

His boss let their team wfh all week

Ah

My chest hurts :(

Aww :(

Just kinda got news while i also got scolded

Whatever for?

I am "doing too much" by putting away kitchen things and cooking food for myself (one dish, from freezer, in oven).

Then i asked what the plan was for tomorrow and the weekend and his sister and all that. He said the plan is to take me to work in the morning and pick me up in the evening. Then, for her, his plan is to get himself feeling better, then get her feeling better, then take her back.

Right
Are they sick too?

Yes

They have been

Obv my fault

Peut-etre

Was he serious about the cooking?

Yes

That's kinda baffling

I have been "active" for 38 minutes

I take it your plan is to take food and inactivate upstairs where every movement is not criticized

Oh. That. Well, since he decided the guest room needed to be cleaned, that is now her oasis and where he has also been chilling. That is upstairs

Fab

Yep

I think I'm headed to bed soon

Working tomorrow?

I am

I also crashing out here

I'll tty in the morning then

Sweet dreams!

Gotta fz you in a sec

Ok?

Np
Good night lover

You, too!

Fz til later now please ❤️

 ​👍​ to “ Fz til later now please ❤️  ” 

2025-01-24T07:02:40

Happy pre burns day!

Yay!
How are you?

null

How are you?

Hieee :)

I'm fine

Just fine?

Just fiiiine lol

What's on your agenda?

Make it through The day without being by cats

Are you missing a verb? Acceptable as is, lol

Lol oops
Verb: eaten

Best of luck with that

I was unsuccessful in my pleas to escape overnight this weekend :(

That said, I can do plenty during the day(s) and want to, plus i get to go overnight on a separate occasion (including tuesday night but idk if you're interested in spending Tuesday night with me

Pretty pretty please lmk if you are escaping chez vous today. I have items in mind if you're dickering or dealing, lol

Ok :)

I might legit go home early though, if you fancy coming downtown. Or not

Those japanese style prints for the nonbeam you were thinking of... were you still thinking along those lines?

Silly or serious ones?

And how tall is the nonbeam please

It 7 feet tall
I do intend to hang the two items there, just have not decided exactly how

Right right thanks

Magnets?

It's non metallic

But you could add magnets to the nonbeam at some places, then magnets to the outside or edges if the prints

I may just end up putting a couple tacks in it even though the face is particle board

Poster putty

Command hanging strips

The velcro sort

Or legit velcro

I KNOW you have velcro

Oh I have lots of Velcro lol

So do that

I assure you it is cuttable

But these hang on strings

Those are removable

Which is why I was thinking a tack

The prints are each on a double set of magnetic frame type things

Yes

So you have 2 prints just by themselves and flat

I can laminate them!

2025-01-24T11:05:22

How's it going?

Good and weird, separate categories

You?

Pas Mal

Tu fais quoi? Maintenant, plus tard, etc

Je dors, j'écrire, et c.

Ecrivais quoi!?

Tu fais qqc interessant ce soir?

But anyway, do you know your plans if you go somewhere this weekend?

My only pretty certain goal is to go to Preuss to get plants

Very cool

Any idea when?

Whenever
No specific time requirements at my end

Neat, neat

2025-01-24T14:14:31

Real plants or fake ones?

Real plants!

Oooooh fancy!

Yeah I actually stopped in there Sunday and got overwhelmed with options lol

Haha, nice

Do you need to decide on fish first?

Just a general idea, which I have now

FYI I'll will be in office Tuesday

Ohhh?

Prayforwhy?

Department planning meeting

Ala 5 hours of time

Agenda:hire the cute, smart one

In a meeting room

Right

That would be a better use of 5 hours for sure

Speaking of

Maybe I can call in from under your desk

No objections here

So how is it you get to spend Tuesday night somewhere

Oww

You just made me hurt my eyes with the hardcore rolling

Because fiik

I don't have to but i can

Weird

Because i perpetually have wednesdays off

Ya but you also have, say, Saturdays off

And Sundays

Oh but I'm sick and should enjoy the time i have away from home when I'm not sick

(Not my idea)

🤦

Thanks

How considerate

I'm not trying to berate you jsyk

Wanna spend some tomorrow together?

You can say no or pivot to sunday or whatever

Tomorrow is a yes!

Yay!

Sunday also

Okay!

Whatever works for you

I should enjoy the time I have with no one else around to question me

😊

Any word on them yet?

Nah

I haven't asked either

This is par

I'll find out when they decide something

Huh. So strange

I have to focus for a while, I'll let you know when I'm home.

If you have thoughts or ideas or whatever then type them out or write them down between now and then

2025-01-24T17:55:10

Chez moi :)

How is 519 n francis?

Ah c'est très Bien, merci
Et voila, comment va tu?

Pas mal, merci. J'ai mal au ventre mais qu'est-ce qu'on fait

What are you up to this evening?

Trying to figure out something on this silly laptop

What?

Is it videos?

Should be lol

Hehe

It sucks that our masters don't let us do as we please

Fucking right

Do you have any idea what your availability preferences are tomorrow?

As in, time you'd prefer to be out and in and out and...

Oh silly me

As luck would have it, my, schedule, is wide open

Sorry I think that was the Brooklyn commas there

The Christopher Walken commas

Lolol

You are so bad ass lol

Awww thanks lol

I'm literally spinning on this stool laughing

Yeah so let me go deeper on this thought

I can squeeze in you at such a time is convenient.
Do you have a curfew?

And it is a squeeze m'lady.

I do not yet know

No problem

I also believe you but also have trouble believing that you think I'm still squeezeish

Indeed

Well I thought it was nice to have munch and then have munch

Pablo's and south of the border?

Lol again a slayer!

Yes yes

Although I regret the choice I made for you

Which was?

I hope it didn't cause a problem

Pablo's

No i was torally fine and i did enjoy it

Please no regrets

If you say so, thanks

I did some other newer to us things up in your room

Do you recall any? I know one for sure

Well the way you rode my face was spectacular to say the least!

Would you ever let me go harder?

Absolutely

Thank you

And you

I could really use some vitamin D right now. Not the capsulated form either

Mmm

Right

Fresh is best!

As it is with so many

Mmhmm

Can you tell whrn i am more anxious than usual, both remotely and in person?

I think so sometimes
I don't know how to describe it
And it doesn't always happen

What do you mean it doesnt always happen?

Someone has told me before that i literally give off vibration

Huh
I can only tell you sometimes I pick up on something, remotely or in person

Thank you

I hugged you a lot

That's what was extra noteworthy to me

On Wednesday, that is

Can you tell when the high kicks in on me?

You turn into a supercharged lover girl

Are you being serious?

Yeah 100%

Lol

Okay cool

I bet she's fun

It's great!

Yeah she's the shit

Lol

I think it's kind of a sad indicator but i get it

We should figure out how to access her even more. Better. Continually.

I absolutely agree

Day in day out

Night in night out

Do you know these lyrics lol

I dont think so?

Sugar cubes "sick for toys". That whole album was about sex basically

Which was hip for mid 80s 👍

You did something beyond remarkable on Wednesday, you know

Did I?

Yes, you did

You know this

Yay!

But i am still in awe of how you know so much

Imagine if you kiss my neck and do it too

The back part

Yes

You will?

You betcha

Fuckkkk I'm excited for that

All the things!

Mmm that is so sexy!!!

What is!?

Silly boy

What you were talking about lol

What, that i cant believe how amazing you do things to me? On me? In me? With me? For me?

Ofc not

Haven't I told you my "Rebecca is actually a spy" theory?

All i know is the name of the theory, no further context

You're actually a spy for who-knows-what-government. Your mission is to infiltrate the live(s) of clinically average people. Sometimes I think I hear you giggling in the background as you parlay our conversation to your mates in Pzechelstaine. I honestly cannot imagine how this benefits anyone, but at least I get to make love to a sexy spy!

Quite the theory, komrad

That's exactly what a spy in character would say

Nient!

I mean non!

When it's sexy between us, do you have a mood going in, ever?

I'm not exactly sure what you mean but I shall answer nonetheless

I'm almost always either a little nervous or just trying to be calm and alert for signs of loooove lol

In other words
Shy

But excited too

One sec

Heya

Oh hello

So, what you up to?

I'm ashamed to admit it

Nooooope

What?

It's what guys do

When they're really into it

null

This is data from our conversations

Im missing something

When you're into what?

Oiye

Data ofc

Fine, keep your secrets!

Lol

I've no secret

Heh

This is legit data from our messages

It what is it measuring?

In this case the duration between messages

The hump is around 15-20 sec

Lol

Sooooo

Hump with me

And

Hump

Hump

Hump

Lolol

I would have a ton of fun outercoursing with you

I mean we're polycoursal compatible too

That's pretty rad

The uptycourse...

I don't kmow what that means but cool

Oh yeah

Ohhhhhhhh

Yeaa

You get the idea

I have an idea of what it is, yes

That's good

Bc I have no idea

Do you want me to tell you?

Certainly!

There are a lot of ways to have sex. We do many of them every time we course

Right

What i was thinking when i asked about you being in a mood every time sex happens with us is if you know you want to go fun and harder and faster or slow and sensual and all that or you have no inclination

I don't know how I want it to go

I just know from experience, faith, etc, that it will be no matter what bc we care about each other

More >>

What's difficult for me to unpack is that I don't live it in the moment the same way I can fantasize about it at other times

So I feel not in control, or not in the same way, and I'm sure I'm more timid

Haha you tapped something there!

Sorry!

Nono

It's no problem

This is interesting to me

But also..... i feel like there's a missing adjective in the "i just know..." text

Oh! Yes
Adjective = fun

Would it help if i asked for a certain way as we're doing the things?

I want and need you in control most of the time

I think that would help yes
I feel strongly there's some kind of wrong in me "forcing" it. This is a very old concern, like gf1

But it hasn't made any sense for let's face it 3 decades and more

I'm not really conscious of it

I just think it's there

Why is that a concern? As in, what's the story there?

If you ask me

I will drop the barrier lol

Idk

Gf1 right

Good Christian girl

Nope

Baritone player

Smart

Ohhhh gg onnnnnnne

Slightly chubby

Ok enough of that

Enough of what? It didnt click that gf1 was not hsgf until just now

No she was middle school to start

Right. I forget about her

Journey playing slow dances

Heh

I think she actually played trombone in middle school

Do with that what you must

Right

Soo

To be clear, we did no heavy petting

Oh

I got her bra up one day and a lick of nipples

That was it

And she wrote me a note that said she wasn't ready for the oral part

But she was ok with the reat

Rest

I knew nothing about ambition at that point so I was cool

Ambition?

Like that's all we were supposed to do at that point

Did you know how sex worked?

Not being sarcasic

Nope

No idea

How did you know the first part?

I mean yes from magazines or whatever. But zero personal experience.
Does this makes sense?

It doesn't but that's because my experiences were so flawed

Right
We were not a go-getter crowd

I have a snippet of memory that may help explain how i dont know what you knew and didnt

When you finish

I was seldom invited to be creative by anyone, and definitely not in my formative years

Do you think of certain ages as formative years?

In retrospect yeah
Like so many other things we wish we knew then right lol

What ages?

Well

Different ages for different characteristics

Sex-

I'd uh peg it at 18-24

For everyone basically?

Right

That's

I dont know ifi have a word

Huh

Because you know how old i was when i voluntarily had sex for the first time

Criteria for me: conscious, consensual, penetrative

Nope not at the moment

Oh

24

Jesuz

Actually thinking about some screwy sort of histogram now

It is so, so fucked

I should have you actually data map something

Well conveniently enough....

Lol

In all seriousness, this is like your privacy notice

For?

I have all text messages that occurred between us on this this phone

In a separate location and usable as data and review

You are welcome to access it as well

I won't share it with anyone

Except you

Okay

Thank you

I hope I'm coming off as icky

Not that is

Ffs

Do you have all of the pics I've sent you?

Ah good q

I do not save the binary data by default. Pictures, gifs, and the like are eventually discarded

I have saved some pics separately

Have you purposefully deleted a lot?

They get deleted when you delete the conversation

If I haven't saved a pic by then, it's gone forever

When i delete it or if one deletes the conversation?

Sorry!

I'm doing a crap job of writing lol

If I delete a conversation

No, you're just up against me lol

Everything in it is gone

I occasionally save a pic from a message in a separate location

What do you do with them? What is their functionality?

Well your nudies are fun
And I have proper cat pics as well

Righto

Have you eaten?

Just had some dark rye toast lol

Kind of an indulgence

Nice

But I need to think of something for about 3 hours from now

Or maybe 2

Another nosh?

Right. Something that includes vegetables preferably

I think I've got it

Oh?

I'll preheat some frozen veg, wrap in a tortilla with a little cheese & rice and heat in the microwave

I love that kind of stuff

Cheesy
Carbs

Mm

And veg lol

Cheese carbs veg tortilla

Literally every single mexifood

I'm about to be deported
Great

Lo siento

Haha just kidding guys!!

Hombre secrecto

Buenos nach

Nope

Hahaha

Are you interested in knowing places i was thinking of checking out tomorrow/Sunday or would you rather not go to places beyond 1 or 2 for a quick survey and then back to yours?

Tbh it was kind of based on your preference and whether you had a curfew

I think that we don't move too quickly

Or said better

I do not understand how so much time passes when I am with you

Lol

Same

It boggles me

I do, oddly enough, know approx how much time there was between fully dressed to fully dressed on Wednesday

What was it?

From fully dressed to "finished" for good was about 75 minutes

Dressed and up the stairs to out the door and in frandor again was less than 2

Heh

Lookit the data fiend over here

Mine was accidental!

Nice

So you would go again tomorrow if that was an option?

Oh yeah!

Do you fancy any adulterants?

For adulting

I need my gerund fix

Lol

Nbd either way really

Just asking
And you can change your mind

I need clarity on what an adulterant is here, please

Ofc

Alcohol
Or weed

Is all I'm offering

I do have another I keep forgetting

Mushroom candy bars

I've never had

But we need a whole day for this preferably

I would def fancy 1 of the first 2, possibly both

Cool cool

The mushroom candy has been in my office for a couple years

Dave got it for me, some asa gift

Hiiiim!?@

Yep.

Wow

He's a very interior space guy

With an exhibitionist streak

Anyhoo

We only talk about one dave, right?

He was micro dosing for a period

Yes, it's the same Dave

My image of him has tumbled

In probably a good way

Hahahaha

I still have no idea what he looks like either

I've never had a phenomenal mushroom experience

I've had a couple pleasant ones and at least one unpleasant

I do think it would be fun tho, us two

Especially a low together

Alone lol

A low low low

I dont have any idea what it's supposed to so or be like

I don't have a perfect experience to relate, but I can tell you the last one I had was fun. It was gentle, we zoomed in on nature (we were outside Vanderbilt), the sounds the smells, and each other. But it was kind of a passing breeze for a couple hours

And then it moved on

There will be a time when i wont know how to say no to you

May i have suggestions please?

What would you like suggestions for?

We will not do mushrooms for a bit

If at all who knows

That's fine. And i could say no to that

Ofc

There will be a time when all i want is to be physical but i shouldn't. And ifi have the cjance to spend time with you, that's something i always think of

How do i say no to you when i want the same thing but it would be detrimental to do the thing?

Could be, not a for sure would be

Hmm
Can you say more
What is the thing you reference?

As an example

Sometimes I might want all the sex with you but maybe i hurt but because it's you and i know plenty, i wont care and will want to do 1000 different kinds of sex and not care about any pain

Oh dear
Do I hurt you?

Not usually

And never in the moment

And never intentionally

Ah fuck. Now i feel bad

Aww
Well hold up

Don't despair on me

Okay

What do you need?

You can always tell me no

Or different ways

But if it's a problem we should address it

I wont tell you no though

Mostly likely

I think i would like to address this though. That sounds feasible.

But you didnt do a single thing to have this happen and it's really important you understand that

Ok I believe you

Thank you

I feel really awkward now

Nana

Yeah

Na na na
We just need to stay in close communication

Why?

Because causing pain is not on my list of things I want to do

I know

And you didn't

Let me think of how to describe this

Nothing hurt on Wednesday

Not really yesterday either

I noticed today

But i can tell if it's real pain or if I'm imagining it

Even thiugh you didn't cause me either of them

And i can't really make it better but i also dont know if it's actually there or i keep asking myself if i feel oww so i think it into existence

But my body and i dont always think the same, so maybe it's imagined anticipated or remembered but that makes it real

It's confusing and it sucks

Where exactly is the sensation?

Where i imagine you'd be at the end of me but also more on my left and i know that's weird

Oh, inside

Yes

Like, the absolute coremost part

You had intense orgasms
Could part of this be muscle aches?

I'm not trying to discount this in any way, just spit balling

I have orgasms in more than one spot

And this is more like pinching or scratching, not aching

I appreciate the spitballing

It's also a lot of mental fuckery

Ok
Interesting
And thanks for the additional info

Right

So it doesn't bring back actual memories, this is irritating more than painful

But

It makes me get involuntarily wet and i hate that because i know what my body is thinking and it makes me mad. I have zero control of any of me

Oh I was not expecting that!
Does it make sense to you?

Which part? Getting wet?

Yes, physiologically

Right ok

Why did you say you know what your body is thinking and it makes you mad?

Because i think my body (she, hereforth) feels something that is not really pleasant but also not quite neutral, and this kind of weird twinge is reminiscent of literal trauma

And so the body preserves itself (it's why fetuses can spontaneously self abort if the mom is nutritionally deficient since the mom cant even support her own needs, and why in hypothermia people lose limbs when blood necessary for survival keeps the core/vital organs warm instead by rerouting blood supply), so anyway, to prevent massive actual trauma, self lubrication is not necessarily only when I'm aroused

The arousal and fear and dopamine and pleasure and pain centers in my brain are essentially the same thing. In a lot of brains like mine

And knowing this and not being able to do anything about it makes it suck worse somehow

Right

Im sorry

That is indeed tricky

I'm sorry too

What can we do

You should never be sorry

Any chance positive reinforcement can help?

Well, now that i dumped that hot garbage on you, i do have another idea in progress that maybe just one area is affected by dehydration lol

Positive reinforcement would definitely help

Alright

It's ok babe don't fret

I'm all for positive reinforcement

Maybe I can vanquish the little monster with massage, licking, etc

I would love that

Get you into a permanent state of orgasm

I almost did that once

It was actually not a good time

But i was also high as fuck without knowing i was and without ever having used anything. And not in a place i knew or with people i knew, really

Right
That sounds problematic

Just us two

We can poke and grab and such and fuck all day

Always safe together

I try and kkow that

I do know that but sheeeeee still has anxiety

Right I understand

You can't wish away some things

Correct

And sadly for you, the scale is realllllly offbalance

I mean it when i tell you that youre the best i will ever have

Gotta pause you for a sec. Tupe what you want and I'll let you know when you can send

Ok

Okay

Sorry :/

2025-01-25T08:32:44

Good morning!

2025-01-25T11:52:39

Hi

Oh hello

How are you?

Murrrrr

I cant go anywhere today :(

And just woke up

How are you?

I'm good, lazy asf
What happened? Why can't you go anywhere?

A few things

I feel just yuckkkk today

Spouse limited my options

I forgot i have damn OT to get done

But i get time tomorrow

Oh ok

I have to go to church tomorrow and repent

Tell him you're meeting a sinner friend and you're both getting redemption
His mom will be very proud of him for making such a wise choice

Haha. Cute

I havent ever seen them go to church though

You'll be leading by example

I'm sorry babe

It's more me than anything else keeping me here today

I'm sorry. I havent gotten "normql people" sick in a while

There's a probably a bright side

So your cold is worse?

I dont think it's worse, i think i let myself believe i am actually sick and it feels awful

I hurtttttt today

In a grand sense if the word

Heyyy

Hi!

What are you doing?

Making coffee, putting away dishes ,
About to mop the floor with my tears

I am sooo so sorry :(

For real

I am unwell today

I'm just messing with ya
I'm sorry you feel the ick

Okay :)

Because i really am sick and i really do love you and those 2 things suck when you add them together and i cant be with you

Are you headed out anywhere today?

I might go to fresh thyme. I just realized I'm almost out of coffee and that will never do!

Oh! I read that they're having a big bogo sale on a lot right now

Oh huh
So I can get two broccoli for $20 that's cool lol

Right!?

It's a made up abomination of a vegetable anyway

Aww :(

Got my W2 might start tax returns

I mean, we love her, but still

We got ours not that long ago

It only takes me 15 minutes but the thing is I can't finish it until last minute because one of my statements is always really late

One of?

Right. Brokerage account with taxable dividends

Ah

You file jointly?

Yeah

Have you ever looked to see if filing separately would be beneficial?

Always check. It would be far worse

98% of household income is mine.

Right. I didnt know if she would benefit and then that could go back to the t e m u pot you share

Nah. She only gets Ssdi, nothing withheld

It's always a huge difference

I tried to file once for some kind of disability. Did not qualify blind, on dialysis, student, ultra breakable bones, non ambulatory.... that was a real hoot of a time

geez that's nuts. It really is a hassle

I even went and sat in the ann arbor office more than once and had appointments

I hadnt worked enough was their reasoning

Because i was 24 or 25

Wonderful. Makes you wonder what a person is supposed to do!

Right

So i actually understand why some people can never get out of impoverished places and it is not a matter of willpower all the time

I could have done that to get whatever social assistance there was but

I would have had to deplete to less than $2k total in cash and liquid assets and they look at theast 5 years of financial records to make sure you dont just hide it all with a friend

And i was not willing to do that

Yeah that's pretty unrealistic!

What kind of bowtie would you put on a decorative black cat?

Glitter, gems, map, scarf, plaid, a pattern, gems or charms, etc?

Plaid is what I thought of first
Scarf sounds cool

What color plaid?

Red, yellow, green, orange, ...

Cool thanks

I need to nap now

Ok babe

My pulse ox is okay but feels like breathing is hard

I dont understand

And idk how to make it bettet

Idk babe

2025-01-25T17:11:34

Hie

Hey babe how are you?

Idk. I just hurrrrrt but i also haven't needed or taken real pain meds in more than a week so maybe I'm just feeling the after effects?

Took some oxy so that might help

I am otherwise good i guess

Ok :)

How are the sniffles and auch

Getting rid of lots of mucus lol

Ok, good deal

What are you up to? 🙂

Setting up some records to clean and play

Did you go out today?

Which records?

I only went to Fresh Thyme

Right now I've selected Bob Marley, talking heads, and led Zeppelin

Did you get anything besides coffee?

Nope!

Bummer

If i asked you to feed me (like, make me food chez vous) what would you pick? At any random time

This is just a curiosity question

Honestly I'm not sure.

I'd like to figure that out though

Right now I'd ask if you want a grilled cheese on dark rye lol

Lol

Id ask if you wanted haggis and some whiskey, maybe bangers & mash or cockalekee soup

Just today though

Mmm??

No reply. Sad.

I've made faux cock-a-leekie soup. It was really good!

Tasty! I have a mix for the base

But whyyyyyy would i offer it today?

Why it's GB birthday ofc

Sorry
BOBBY BURNS

Indeed!

I look totally celebratory, right?

null

Cheers babe!

100%

I dont know if youve seen me look worse lol

My poor baby!

Okay yeah i thought so

Poor babes
You look tired

Been a rough week

What's tomorrow looking like for you?

Smooth as a baby's butt

Well i am not

I was going to be for this weekend and some experimenting with you but being sick happened

Yes

Unfortunately

What kind of things would you like to do/not do, if i leave open decisions to you for some time together?

I'm happy to chill with you or even be your nurse for the day

What if i can only do a few hours?

Also about to forage so may be slow to reply

I will take what I can get :)

Okay!

How do you feel about hoodies?

I love hoodies

All of them!

And an xl dark pinkish one?

Sounds tasty

Anything on your mind?

I miss you!

I miss you, too

Just put on Talking Heads

I feel so shitty that I'm wasting your alone time that should be our time

It's not your doing babe, just bad luck

I know but I'm really upset about it

I appreciate it babe. It's ok, really.

Phase 1 complete

null

📎 it looks like you're going to pour a drink!

Clippy??

Those are the candles you gave me

You rang???

Ah!

Candle jars

Yes

I clean good lol

Lulz!

😊

You agree

Oh for sure yea!

Yay!

How should i upcycle them from here?

What kinda stuff do you make with these?

I can make it a few things. Almost any kind of candle holder (for fake ones) with decoupage and napkins, paper, scarf, whatever i feel like for the outside. Could place it on an old lamp base as an elevated one too

Can do that same thing and it'll hold whatever you need it to like a canister

Can spray paint/real/paint it

Hmm

I'm sure other things

Terrarium if you please

null

I got you!

I can customize one for you or show you what i have on hand lol

Surprise me :)

I need a decor direction please

Like, a book or movie scene or maybe a design you like.... what's your family tartan? Oh i know!

I need to know your fave place. I E lansing, lake miscellaneous indiana, Scotland, etc

Okay

Lemme find it one minute

https://maps.app.goo.gl/QXihVPXArjm1bokJ7?g_st=a

Thanks!

😊

A la demain..... i would love to meet up for public, private, or both

I may likely have to meet you and/or unmeet you somewhere in greater lansing

Where be your choices?

I am very aware this is not ideal and i am sorry

It's all good babe!

I'm just thinking of a comfortable place for you to be

Mega Mall?

Lol that was his suggestion

And i am good with that

Lol I'm glad we all agree!

Me too

I am feeling betterer too

Having a large dose of caffeine and it seems to be helping

Oh!

I'm a caffeine junkie

But I can quit anytime man

Same. Provably worse than most

Psht who wants to?

Lol

I do love me a strong cappuccino

I hadnt had much at all this week. Occasional diet soda when I'm usually a coffee or multi energy drink per day person

Huh

You were off yer feed and water!

But i also swear i have a new skull divet so maybe that's it

Whaaa?

It's those aliens living in your house I swear it

Ill let you feel it. Probably finw lol

Would you like to actually shop or meet & leave and then go back or both?

There's also a Goodwill just up the street. Idk if you "need" anything there

Haha I'd like to check out that Goodwill actually. I've not been.

It's a nice one imho

For real

Fantastic book section! Electronics, sometimes records, good kitchen stuff

"Pricey" on some things for a secondhand store but still good deals

Tis a theme with GW

Yeah i know, but at least their stuff at this one is decent

I'm not throwing them under the bus

Yet

Lol

The address is 1161 clark rd i. Dewitt in case you need that

Straight up old 127 in a massively empty strip mall thing

You just cant think of them as DoingGoodwill, which is what lots of people think

They want profit like everyone else

https://maps.app.goo.gl/CHCghFhgocEvHNLy9

That is for a different day



https://g.co/kgs/nMcGVgY

That too

Thrifty Treasures
(517) 528-0632

https://g.co/kgs/r8XrPb7

You would lovvvvvvve JC the owner

And it's prob walkable from you. Ive walked there from Panda House before. Not far from here

The google says its 1.5 miles from me

Cool!

I'm up for any of those

Plenty of weekend warrior adventures :)

Now i am NOT asking you to take off another Wednesday, but what does tjis upcoming wednesday look like for you? Maybe even just the morning?

What are you up to now?

Have you eaten today?

Just spinning and chilling

Yes I ate 30 minutes ago

And have another thing prepped

Next Wednesday probably no-go for me sweets :(

Wednesday in like 4 days

I was asking more because of Tuesday night, if that helps

Oh right!

Tuesday night I am like so open. As long as you don't mind me running off to office to work

Office in house

You can sleep in!

Lol for sure! That's why i asked (thinking you can work as much as you need but if it's something imprtant then imma have to say no

And if i needed you to lodge somewhere else with me for that night?

Cool, as long as the commute isn't too crazy lol

Fo'sho'

I got you babe

Honestly I'm more concerned about the old mama kitty I need to keep an eye on

I know

May i offer the idea that you wouldn't be able to do anything overnight anyway, esp since she isn't allowed upstairs?

She can go 12 hours, I'm not sweating it

:D

This is helping a lot, thank you

I don't understand the difference between somewhere and here though?

Primary concern is plausibility for if i get dropped off somewhere but i can manage around that

I'm not trying to be rude, but is your bed warm enough? I can always bring blankets i guess

Lol it actually is. You were there on the worst possible day and I apologize, I should have gotten you under all the layers.

It's cool though, I just didn't grok why

What is your preference?

I dont think i care; i enjoy pretend getaways from time to time

That's just a note

I actually think maybe your place and i can clean a bit?

Do you need anything framed?

Can you rub my head? Like, a good head massage sounds phenomenal right now

Does right now in 72 hours work ?

I guess lol

Did you have a time preference tomorrow? Megamall and that goodwill are open 11-6

Oh cool!

Say gw at noon? Or 1? Or ?

Either should work and I'll let you know when i know anything :)

What kind of food did you make today?

Oh it was a slutty wrap with rice , chopped veggies dog, sharp cheddar

Heated to oblivion

Nice

For a few yeara in hs my go to after school snack was a basic cheese & tomato quesadilla i heated in a fry pan

Yes!

Dash of basil and oregano for me plz

There were not apices in my house

I'm speechless

BUT in college when i didnt eat pizza for years but had dining hall self serve acces i would take an English muffin, tomato slice, olive oil, spices, and cheese with occasional mushrooms or olives or apinacj whatever from the salad bar, bakery, and sandwich areas, add herbed whatever, and open face toast it

Very creative

Added veg cream cheese a lot too

Beautiful!!

Thanks

Thanks

I had a ritual at Sparrow cafeteria

I would get chic peas and greens from the salad bar

And Olive oil

And make my own hummus, and make a sandwich from the greens and other stuff

I also didnt really eat many carbs (still Diabetic those years) so would take pickle spears and wrap them with cheese and mustard for kind of a sandwich

Have i given you the oil & vinegar pour vessels yet?

Yum!

Peanut butter can serve in place of tahin

What are these vessels?

Glasses with spouts

Glass bottles

Well I have not seen them lol

Okay then

My head just has so much pressure

Anything on your mind?

Food, round two

What is it?

Two tostadas :)

Awww!

Ive eaten in front of you a few times now. If you have commentary or observations, please go ahead

Nothing comes to mind really
I was glad I could meet you!

I was so happy to sit and talk with you!

Me too

I enjoy talking. A lot. Obv, lol

I like listening

And occasionally jumping your bones

I have sooooo much more to say :)

And a lot of bones

All the bones hahaha!

I have fewer than you

I've got one you can have right here

Weird, that's my favorite one!

Do you think our parts go well together? I'm being serious

I do

I sure do

Perhaps at some limit and I hope that's ok for you

Can you be clearer?

I feel large getting inside you

You ARE large

But less so when I'm there

Ive told you this

Ah

Yes. I think that's accurate

Yeah
My question is - is me getting into you causing you pain

You've always told me I will not hurt you

And perhaps this is so pretty in the moment

Haha pretty
Not sure where that came from

You getting in does not cause pain

Everyone hesitates, that's why i say it

I feel bad saying "everyone" but it's true

Ive gotten the "are you sure you're nit a virgin?" question a sickening amount of times

1 is honestly sickening though

One time

Please tell me what you do and do not want clarity or explanation on

All of this was to answer your question

Do our parts go well together

Yes

Yes
From my perspective

Thank you

Of course

Do you have any idea why my cat cafe is so puffy?

Genuine ask. I do not know

Just cuz

Genuine answer

She's a cutie

It's odd, yeah?

Unusual
Not odd

What else can you tell me?

About her in general

You've used every sense lol

Haha yeah

She likes to be teased and she likes to be tugged a bit too

And she likes to be stretched

Explain?

(Please)

I literally do not know what it is i like you doing

You like it when I squeeze in and poke and play

Of course

That's everything though lol

Qed I guess?

Huh??

You know QED?

4x a day

?

Lol technically correct

Right

Otherwise no

Quod erat demonstrandum

That's what has been demonstrated?

That's a guess

Yes

My query was like... that's all sex for all people, isnt it?

Ok I'm not sure what you want me to yell you

Nothing

Just trying to figure out what i might enjoy more so we can try it lol

Oh well we're pretty behind in the lesson exercises

There were like 20 ways to do it in the car alone

I was afraid of that

And no way!

I would like to try me on top again

Pause

Hay

null

Lol

You good?

Yeah I'm good

I've replaced most of the air filters in my house

Okay? Great job i think?

Yeah it's a job lol

A very dusty one

In freestanding purifiers?

I just got a new one today

Yay!

null

Lol

Headed upstairs now, hang quiet a sec please

Yoeie

My baaaaabes!

Itsa me

❤️❤️❤️

I can do tomorrow afternoon for 3ish hours at Megamall, plus I'll have a few hours Monday eve if you want to come over or go somewhere

Eh?

Ayyy

:)

Yay!

Yay what!?

I will see you later today

Rn

Yes!

I'm passing out

Have fun!

Ok

🥰

Love you

Love you too

2025-01-26T08:13:23

null

2025-01-26T10:05:28

Hi babe!

How are you?

All is well!

Great! Looking forward to the shopping today?

Yeah... I hope my nose stops running :/

Oh no babe!!!@ i am so sorry

It is okay to reschedule

I will give this a little time to see what it's going to do

Okay

Seriously, it is 100% okay :)

I hope you arent ill from me ;(

I didnt mean to call you. Sorry!

I'm a millennial, we dont like the phone lol

Hehe

For real

Enough of that in my big girl day job

Lol right?

You are okay with butter, right?

Yep!

Yay!

null

Lol

I know, right?

How's it going?

Mrr

Oh, no

Well, i am free just about every night this week in some capacity

Plus my aunt just told me she's swinging by around 1430 (just the porch)

And i always have plenty to do here or can entertain myself in the wild

2025-01-26T13:31:22

My poor babydoodle :(

Mrr

I know, right? 🤦‍♀️

I am so sorry i did this to you

2025-01-26T15:09:43

Babe? Are you okay?

Yeah I'm alright

Took a little nap

That's excellent

Do you want me to send food, meds, tissues, popsicles....?

That's sweet :)

I think I'm ok
This is allergies. Probably stirred up by myself

I have cetirizine, benadryl, maybe others?

Yep I have an antihistamine on board now

Would you like to possibly have a small adventure tomorrow post laboring?

Yes that would be wonderful!

Sorry I bugged out today

Oh, fun!

Would you like to know the sort of plan?

Sure!

I might neex to pick up a crib/changing table thing

Then either voa or gw, a few choices for each location

Or we can just make out and see what happens ;)

Or all of it?

Excellent!

Ohh yay!

I am downtown tomorrow, just fyi

And i have an idea you may like

Oh?

You'd need to make another deposit first, if you're okay with that

Hehe

Oh noes1

Are you trying to drain me?

Yes

I am still lacking in fluid so imma take yours

At least you're honest

So you're willing to top of the platter again?

Right on

Well, if you want to try and clean up what you leave, I'm all for that

Lap up the kitten, so to speak

I would like to try that sometime!

Oh I'm so glad!

After you go off in me i get realllllt close to climaxing again

I think some tonguecouragement could def help cross that line

If that's of interest

That's very interesting and very enticing as well

I thought you knew?

I did not realize it

Did you notice what i did right after you came? Or even as you did?

No I didn't

No worries, i hope you were in your own euphoria

I grinded (ground?) Against you and imagined more good feels

I kind of insta-mini-gasm as soon as your shoot your shot

It feels sooooo good

That is wonderful!

I really do crave it

How are you doing?

Not bad
I'm going to clean this aquarium so I'll be slow to respond for a bit

No problem, be safe!

You said you would wear disty dark pink?

Yeah!

null

You typed?

2025-01-26T19:08:10

How's the water palace?

Heh
So so

I've actually been trying to restart the pump for 45 minutes

Awww poor babes!

If tomorrow is still a go in the afterwork hours, what time would you like to meet?

I can be anywhere at 1645

Whatever works for you

I'm sure i can work with that :)

Start at afhq?

Sure!

You're the best!

1715 for you?

I can prob do 1645 without issue

Have you chosen the activity plan or are we playing completely by ear?

No, I have not chosen

Okay

I am probably okay with whatever

And if we need to reschedule then that's okay too

I was going to ask something kind of odd

Maybe 2 odd things

Is it?

Is what, what?

Okay to reschedule? Always

Odd?
Probably

May i help you clean or organize? I also volunteer to help punish the boxes on your porch if you'd like

I'm sure we can gamify it it you want

This isn't being grossed out or any judgement, i just know you could use some help

And do you have any boxes with base + separate top? Like the kind printer paper comes in. If so, may i have them please?

Haha thanks! That would be great. I'll accept any help

Yayyyyy!

I always have chewy box tops, but they don't really have boxes to go with maybe they fit something?

I'm trying to get both parts so i can stack them but thank you!

Also, i feel like you said you had some things for me? I could be completely wrong but if you do, friendly reminder to maybe gather them in one location

Is there any chance you need an elephantine paperweight that doubles as cute, lucky decor? From a cute, gets-you-lucky girl down the way?

Elephantine, you say?

Pachydermic, lol

Dayum

Wanna see it first?

Yes please

null

Fruit cocktail for scale

Lol it's hella cute!

So are you!

Aww thank you!

null

I procured it with you in mind

Aww

You shall have to help me place him

D'ac!

Yay!

Thank you!

😊

I have some pretty awesome stuffs for you actually

Do you happen to have a tiny lamp shade?

I'm certain I do not, unless you count the odd cone of shame

Not today

Afk for a bit

Dinner suggestions?

Dude I just had a really bad day with the aquarium

My filter is wrecked and I cannot repair it quickly. Idk if I can save the media

Dammit

Welp
This is a big set back, but I can rebuild from here

Hey I ordered the poo on a stick
What did you order!

Oh, I found a great place for the Japanese meme

I am so sorry!!!

I have been fading for a while now after a horrendous level of head pain

Anyway

Meme?

I am also sleeping soon, jsyk

null

Ok babe lol I'm sorry

Very nice!

Why are we lol?

Just laughing at myself

??

On the list of things to keep an eye out for: pulleys

That was already on the list lol

Why now??

They were a possible solution to the filter / pump issue, but none were available. NB no guarantee they would work, but would like to have on hand anyway

Rest your head babe

Yeah

Delirium is setting in

Sleep well sweet one

I will badger you in your dreams

You're the best

Aww tx

💋

See you soon!

TTYL!

null

2025-01-27T05:20:49

Yo babes!

2025-01-27T07:16:29

Poor baby sleepyhead

O hai!

I turned off my alarm and kept on sleeping lol

Uh-oh 🤭

You doing okay? How are you & things?

So far so good!

Good!

Still thinking yes for this eve?

O yeah!

😊

Howww do i wake up?

Lol don't ask me 😅

I think i legit just fell asleep with my eyes open

Lol!

How was the night?

Any word from below the Ozarks?

Twas a fine night. I slept well (apparently). I haven't heard from anyone

1645 today does work for me, btw

Little bit of a curfew but should be fine

Fuckkkkm i am tired

How are you holding out ?

Ugh 🤦‍♀️

But ok

You?

Any decisions about activities? I can make that choice too, trying to be considerate

I have no agenda lol

Okay

How is the day going?

I've got a real time waster on my hands lol

Not to name names but finance is a dumpster fire

What!?!?!? Well who evvvvvver would have thought!

Oww. Eyes rolled too hard lol

I have some options if you want to hear them for later

But also coule you please come Rescue me, carry me back and over the threahold to gently lay me down and sleep for a while until you decide waking by lovemaking sounds enticing

Whats the afg task?

Lol ready for this?

Imagine you're the person who cuts checks for accounts payable. You have a database of acceptable payees, which is fine because you have to know who you're paying to prevent fraud and process 1099s at the end of the year.

I hand you a list of 350 payments that need to be made. I've looked up all the payees in your database and spoon fed that information to you.

You come back and tell me "these 12 can't be processed because they don't exist in my database"

?

Right. It turns out that in the time it took me to look up all of this information, "they" have done some maintenance and invalidated a dozen payees for no apparent reason. Oh well, I guess I'll go look them up again.

Oh look it turns out your department inactivated 3 payees I need to get paid.

Oh look it turns out your department flat out deleted one.

Oh look it turns out your department changed the code use to identify 8 other payees.

It took me over an hour to figure out what your department fucked up.

Wtaf? How does anything actually get done around here?

This is what i deal with every day

Every. Goose. Down. Day.

And if they've been deleted they have us (i.e. me) "reach out" to get a new w9 filled out

Was that a yes or no on carrying me to bed?

Oh dang! That would be a hell yes on bed access

Did you even see my plea text? Lol

Yes :)

I'm still in my nightgown is that ok?

Pics or it didnt happen

null

null

:P

You're lovely but arent you coldM

And are you comfortable?

I'll be ok like this for about 15 minutes lol

And then I'll be freezing

I need like a 22 gauge, some normal saline, and a caffeine drip please

I'll point to the draw site, you stab

Okay?

Okay!

I'm a good poker

I did say i would guide you

And that's usually our best bet

No complaints here!

4 hours

Hehe

??

Counting down are you?

Meh

Have been literally falling asleep here. Barely breathing

Thank odin for lunch time now

Here is what i was toying around with

H4H restore in lansing

GW in dewitt

VOA on cedar or the west side

Something aboyt new n used goodies on mlk

GW west side

Any place you'd like?

Go to your house & clean & kiss

null

I have a mini curfew :(

I would blink & be asleep

Aww

So sweet

My house is okay too if we delay getting there

Guess I better put some clothes on huh?

You do what you want for the next 3.5 hours or so

But youll be cold!

I escaped twmporarily

For like 5 minutes

And if i didnt say it already, 1645 was approved

I need to aim to be home before 1930

Desolee

Right on!

null

I looked just chuffed lol

The chuffiest

Indeed

Do you have fave comic frames other than xkcd? Any absolute fave xkcd?

Calvin & Hobbs, Get Fuzzy, Bloom County

Can't say I have a single all time fave

Hmmmm

What do you gravitate to as funniest?

Comedy-wise

Like, what tickles you best?

Probably Get Fuzzy

I'm not articulating this right... what kiiiiiind? What would it be about or referent to or whatever?

That's a difficult one to answer!

I find many things comedic

Obviously

I am feeling mildly better after my 12 minute escape to the wilderness

Forgot ingalers today. Not loving that but it's fine

Do you need one?

Maybe

What kind is your drawer filled with?

Albuterol

Only if you really dont care that i use it

I would literally take 2ish puffs then she's all yours again, or i could give you my unopened one in exchange

You can use mine I'm not worried

Unfortunately I can't get up there until after 4

Oh yay! Thanks!

I would appreciate it even if it's at 1645 (which is what i expected)

Would just make life easier today

Are you putting out more fires now?

Nope they're all out lol
But I do have a couple meetings

Hurray!

And meh

Solving the company solvency is abive my pay grade even though i have solutions

Do/would you use coasters?

Sniffing the company's solvents is what a best places to work is like

Kinda sometimes

The idea is list on the others who share this space

I did not understand that sentence

Oops

The idea of coasters is lost...

Ahh

2025-01-27T15:11:38

null

Kitteh

How you be?

Good good

Counting down yet?

Where be the pillaging?

My house is closest :)

Lol fair

Do we have an itinerary?

I have a non-serious answer and a serious one

Okay

The serious one is if you want to do any non-nookie activities we should do those first. I have no other agenda

null

Lol

Do you want or need to go anywhere at all tonight?

Nope I dont

Have you eaten today?

Yep!

And how are you now?

Feeling great!

8 minutes

Yep!

Am i going to 519 or are y o u venturing to afhq?

What's our semblance of a plan?

I'm sitting outside afhq :)

😊

Je viens!

Yay! 🎉

2025-01-27T20:18:55

Hey you

Hiya!

How's it going?

Well the cats were all shrivelled up

I had to stop for gas on the way home. That's probably what did them in

Pshhhht

How do?

No youuuuuuu first

I'm happy, chilling for a minute before I figure out dinner

Which reminds me, we should think about dinner for tomorrow

Mmhmm

Still unsure if i might need to book a room

I know it sounds absurd

My head hurts :(

But what were you going to suggest?

Nbd either way babe

I was going to offer to cook
But we could go out and settle in elsewhere!

Either way, did you have a food type in mind?

No, and I wanted to ask what sort of thing you would be interested in.

Have you been to Fueld

I have not

The concept is stir-fry made to order

With 19001 possible ingredients

Are you in to that sort?

Maybe

One sec, spouse just got home

Owwww

??

Just hurt. Being sick and weather and all

Right

It's so bad

Ohh, Im sorry babe

Thanks. Me too. I didnt realize it til just now

Time to eat and go to bed!

Already ate

But yeah.... i want bed

I need to food myself

Yeah

Even my teeth are throbbing on the side that hurts

It's your countrymen trying to contact you. Tell them now is a bad time.

I'm going to try and sleep now

Dont forget to wash your face

I will 👍

Goodnight!

null

2025-01-28T06:19:49

null

But Tuesday

❤️

Lulz!

2025-01-28T07:59:27

I'm going to stop at daily bagel on my way in. Do you want anything?

Ohhhh maybe a bagel with way too much cream cheese? Please?

And a pile of morphine

Not sesame, no peppers, no nuts

Literally any other bagel is fine

Wait - YOU are eating breakfast?!

And my office probably looks unfriendly but you're welcome in

Toasted?

Yes, please! 🙇‍♀️

You got it :)

2025-01-28T09:49:50

OMG I'm in a bagel coma

Mine made me less shaky so thanks!

But something is happening with spouse and i have no idea what and idk what to do

And this is on my usps dashboard

null

Interesting indeed

Hmm. Letter from Father?

Yes

It is letter folded, not a card like usual, and it's addressed to both of us

And no return address

Those are all new features

Hmm

And what is going on with L?

null

That's all i know

Oh

I wonder if he meant that literally

null

null

Youll hav3 5o click in to read all of it

Well well

2025-01-28T11:50:30

Spouse alert, in case you were coming by

2025-01-28T13:04:58

When are you breaking from your meeting? I might have some calendrial updates

Not sure, but most likely 1600 or earlier

Did your evening get wrecked?

You don't even get breaks!?

Kind of, yeah :(

Mostly yours did

I have potential to try and make it up

Ok :)

I'm sorry

I am leaving this enclosure for a teeny tiny break. Have a cupcake if you'd like. In the bag

2025-01-28T14:29:40

Are you going home after work?

Heya

Idk. Trying to escape a little but i guess we'll see

What are you doing after work?

2025-01-28T16:47:22

Cats surviving?

Just barely
One is eating my leg rn

I might have a slight limp the next time I see you

Aw damn

2025-01-28T17:58:19

Yo

Heyy

What's up?

Nothing much. How is everything?

It is what it is, i guess??

Brainstorming ideas

Cool

Not

What is your availability tomorrow, as best as you can detail?

Well I'll be able to flee work around 1530, as long as something doesn't change

I'm basically in meetings with greater or lesser participation all day

You're welcome anytime nonetheless

I just might

If that's really ok

Yeah totally

I can go grab my actual calendar if you need it

But it's cool if you need an escape any time

Oh i have escapes thanks

But i want to see you

But we're in different places

Er, yes?

Ergo, you have to come over !

I plan on it!

But i need shopping also! Lol

Ohhh

I see

Right then

Ill make it work ;)

Might almost have a surprise for you

Have yet to see

Did you have set wants for tomorrow evening?

Not set as in absolute

Explain more please!

I just want to continue with the playful and experimental vibe

Okay, cool

Did i give off another impression?

No I just wanted to be clear on my intentions

I feel like I'm missing something

Not in a good way

No you're not missing anything

Ok

Are things okay with you? Anything happen or is anything going on that you havent mentioned?

Right

Nothing is going on
What is probably happening here is I've been suppressing my real feelings about what happened today

Please tell me

Well I'm not going to go there actually
Becaus it makes me irritable and I direct my frustrations the wrong way. It's not productive. And it's unkind of me.

So I've just been sulking
Which
I know waa or whatever but that's where I've been since before noon

I am sorry. Really, really sorry

You can be unkind to me. What i did was unfair to you today

And I hate to even tell you this because you'll feel guilty about it and I really don't want that

I know too late right

So I apologize

You didnt do anything

You got railroaded

I could try and have a backbone

At the bottom its because I don't like to see you mistreated

I'm sorry

And I can't do shit about it

Kind of, but you've also kind of done me a huge several services already

Thank you
And mean very sincerely that I am glad I am able to help in some way

Except i really screwed you over today

I don't believe *you* did
Did you?

Am I missing something?

Hmm

I don't know

I feel like i shouldn't have said anything in the first place and it would have been easier on you to kot have hope about today

Tbh I don't love that at all

I'm confused

I'm actually speechless

On the chance that somebody is going to have a bad day, you'll just not make plans to be with me?

That is what I'm hearing here

Oh no

That wasnt it at all

I'm saying I'm really sorry i disappointed you when i was so sure

And at the same time, what i heard from you was that you want things to be "less" and to be more fun and less love

But i dont think that's what you meant

I just know that i have a lot of hurt tonight not caused by you at all but i cant be with you to make your hurt and mine better

This?

Yeah. Mixed with my own thoughts other stuff

Hmm

You know you don't have to accept the blame for being mistreated

I hope

I wish

Did you get let down today?

Incredibly

Right

We did

And only one person is responsible for that, and it isn't you

Hmm

Or did you somehow let yourself down

But i should be able to fix it

Idk if should Is the right word

Or maybe it is

But again

Did you somehow let yourself down?

I did

Or did you get a heap of help with that?

Maybe? Like a truckload?

Yes

Right

Anyway I'm ready to come out of this dark alley

Sorry we ended up going there anyway

It's necessary

I suppose:(

But ok

Okay

What did you have ready?

Hmm? Ready for what

Anything you want

I didn't I guess

I feel kinda flattened

I'm soooooo so sorry

I know babe

I will be fine

Even earlier idk if maybe you were hunting about tomorrow

Hinting lol

Yes

Maybe hunting? Idk

When I said I want to continue this vibe
I was talking about sex

Yes

I don't understand "less" and the other things you said

About that

That you want less emotion and for me to be less in love and more casual and just sex

Nothing could be further from truth

I just don't understand

What?

Your interpretation

Oh

Do you see the huge gap ? Between what I said/meant and what you heard?

Actually, not really

But maybe instead of a gap (which to me is 2 ends of the same spectrum), they were entirely different

I guess i dont understand if you meant anything by it or why it came up

Um, you asked me a question

That was my answer

Right

Do you remember?

Yes

I dont think i expected that kind of answer

Or my head was in a space that automatically turned it negative

Oh babe I wish I were with you
This is really difficult

I hope I get to see you if only for a little bit tomorrow

Oh that is without a doubt happening

If i could make an exec decision for us i would go see you tonight until wee morning hours when i have to be back

Aren't you afraid he'll come around to check on you

Not really

I can give you several hours tomorrow though. A good lot of them

Well my front door is literally unlocked for you lol

And I threw down a bunch of sand so the icy patches are not terrible

Awww!

Neighbors?

The one that matters will be in bed by now. NB her bedroom faces the front, but on the left side

And tomorrow?

Like in the morning?

I'm not sure about me getting over there tonight, but can i just show up tomorrow?

100%
Just walk in like you own the place

Or if you really want to look the part, have something remotely resembling a clipboard and knock lol

Or a bible

Ooohhh

I have several!

Well if you need to purge some demons I guess I'll let you in

But seriously
Whenever you want

I'll be here

Yes

Wont i interrupt a meeting though?

And hopefully completely distraction free well before 1600

I know my last meeting is nbd

No camera

On and off mute

Ohhh

Nbd at all

Front door is not in view , so no worries anyway

People are used to cats running across my desk lol

Weird

Lol

I have few meetings where cameras are the norm

It's a tribal thing, not a rules thing

They are mandated for us bu plebians

Yeah I know

Ftn

Yeah

And I'm dead serious if for whatever reason you need to show up here at 2am just come on in and come upstairs

Say my name at some point so I remember what's happening

Saying your name is ... meh

Ok don't then lol

Do you get a lunch break?

Do you get a lunch break?where are you rn?

Yeah, I stopped down to see you remember?

Tomorrow

I had to leave when L showed up

Oh

Yeah

Tomorrow you say lol

Idk

Usually

It's not prescribed

Okay

Please pick something special that does not involve me wearing something particular

Babe

Babe

I can't with this kind of question rn

Okay I'm sorru

*sorry

It's okay

I feel like I'm running your fun or something

Ruining

I don't mean to do that

No you're okay

It wasnt about me

So what are you thinking of doing tomorrow?

Thrift, clean, you, surprise

Not necessarily in that order

Lol there are a lot of ways to parse that

Yes

What do you think i should do?

I think you should do what pleases you. You've probably had enough of people telling you what you can and can't do

In what amount of time?

I know we process things differently, and that's all good. Does it surprise you to know I'm still thinking about today, specifically the last twelve hours, during which time you've basically been telling me about how your spouse had a bad day, and how that caused you to "fail" me, and how you didn't have decision-making authority, and how you aren't allowed to do things you had planned to do because a mean old doggie bathed at your husband?

*barked*

Huh. It does surprise me

I'm sorry

Does my answer make more sense now?

I feel horrible

Do you know how i interpreted that last message?

No

That i complain too much and screwed up our plans and i should just do what i want because L does this all the time anyway and you shouldn't have to be put out by it

I'm sorry I fucked up

I did exactly what I said I didn't want to do

No, it's fine

I didn't mean to point blame at you and I'm really sorry

It's okay

No it isn't

But thanks

I wouldnt understand otherwise tbh

All I needed to say was "12 hours"

Sorry

I'm sorry

Waa dammit

I dont know what to say now

Me neither

I fucked up

You did not

I really need to be more careful

And considerate

With what?

With my words

Somehow I've managed to tell you

Not one but twice

In one hour

That I want you further away from me

And that is the exact opposite of what I want

That's not ok

It's okay

My frustration is getting in the way and it isn't helpful

Is there a way for you to get unfrustrated?

At this point, sleep is the best remedy

And should work a treat

??

What's the confusion?

"Work a treat"

I am unfamiliar

Should be nice?

Oh sorry I thought that was a common British turn of phrase

It should work well

Oh. Right.

How much have you had?

Not much

3 beers and a bowl

In how long?

Idk

A couple hours ending an hour or more ago

I've been in bed for an hour

Have you compromised yourself at all?

No
Not at all

What's this about?

I want to be sure you're safe and that you're decently okay

Yes I'm fine, I've had less than most nights and I'm in bed 3 hours earlier

And you feel no inclination to hurt yourself or anyone else?

No babe

Not in the least

Okay

Oh I know what your picking up

Usually alcohol makes me silly. Now it's amplifying my despair/depression

Yes

Right

But also if it were me, i would feel the need to instill corporal pain

Well luckily I have zero inclination to do that

I am inclined to get a bowl of ice cream however

You can

I do believe I shall

I also ate early. Before 2000. So my whatever it is not glucose spike is messing with me still somewhat.

I hurt, if that makes you feel more okay with things today

Umm
Is that supposed to make me feel better?

I thought it might, actually

Because i am not feeling particularly soft or cuddly or cordial

That's not what you said two hours ago

Anyway
I feel bad that you're hurting
It doesn't make me feel better to know that

Oh I'm sorry

I just feel this way a lot of the time. Nothing i can really do about it

But i believe i was promised a massage?? Lol

Yes, totally. The offer still stands

I'm cashing in tomorrow

Oh good!

I'm sorry things did go according to our plans today
I'm sorry I got upset and said some things I shouldn't have

I hope you have a good sleep and a good morning
I still very much want to be with you
And love you
And make lovey dovey love to you

You're in my heart babe

And you're in mine

And i love you too

And i want so much with you

And I with you

I'm going to fade out soon

You can come by any time

😊

Or if you need me to get you I'm sure I can figure it out

Thank you

I'll try not to have that ever be tye case

Keep it in your pocket so to say

I'm going to drift off here soon

I love you

Sweet dreams

I love you too

Please love me tomorrow

Sweet dreams to you too

null

null

I will love you all the time :)

I hope so

Aww are you hiding?
You look so cute

null

I want someone to turn off the lights and cover me better

This is literally how i sleep

I love it

null

Xoxox!

2025-01-29T05:16:59

Hey my babes!

Hello sweets!

How are you? How was your night?

Pretty good :)

What are you up to? How are you feeling?

I've been doing house stuff. Decorating a bookshelf now

null

Well.... trying to lol

With a helper !

He iz babay

He sure iz

null

🤣

null

He knows his mommy

Ready for the day?

I'm just excited to see you

Me too! But that's still a ways away

I know

My eyes are killing me

Why for?

Idk. Maybe dey. Headache does it too sometimes

You want me to look for anything for you today?

I feel like there is something but I can't think of it now

Ofc not lol

I am friggin cold!

Oh? I'm hot!

You are!

Aww thanks!

Anything in these pics for you?

null

null

null

null

null

null

null

null

Hmm. It's almost like you keep photographic inventories just in case lol

There actually are a few things there

Lol it's facebook posts

That's at April's

Oh lol

Well I would like something like the grey organizer thingies

Which?

null

Right

What is an appropriate cost for such a thing?

I think maybe $10 to $20 if the cabinet is solid and all the bins are there and not broken

The clamp maybe $5

Righto

null

Is that not a putty scraper?

Not being sarcastic btw

Do you need like a super expensive cassoulet crock?

That thing might be a putty scraper but it looks like it has a hole punched near the tip and it's shape suggests a narrow handsaw

Gotcha

Have a crock
Minus a lid lol because I broke it a while back

null

Ohh

2 there

Geez
Nice but they would never get used here

Aww sad

Yeah.... i have good taste lol

Talk to me about the round one

Is this enamel coated iron?

Or ceramic

Ceramic

null

null

Kind sheet set?

Twin mattress pad?

Noooo lol

Fine!

Lol

3 ceramic italian bowls? Nesting, for mixing or serving

Would you rather meet me somewhere after work or for me to spontaneously appear later?

2025-01-29T09:35:27

Baaaaaaabe

Hi!

What's up?

Extended team meeting rn

Mrrrrrrrrrr

Ohhhh sorry babes

Lol it's fine

I'm just dorking around and occasionally saying "mm hm!"

Smile and nod, smile and nod.....

Did you have a decision for our rendezvous?

Kinda depends on when you want to be here

You're free to show up any time you want. If it's after 1600 I can come get you

Gotcha

Thankd

I was wondering if you wanted to go anywhere

Totally fine to say no, just want you to have the option

Nothing comes to mind yet!

Okay

Would you like to know my plan?

Sure!

I am going toward real lansing. I think April's & SVdP. I have a tote to pick up near there too from someone on fb. Then i will go to you. If you feel like picking me up that's fantastic. If i want to show up earlier i will do that

Thoughts?

Hope the meeting didnt drag you down :(

I can also go see you earlier if you prefer. Clean some stuffs :)

Nah, I'm good!

Come on over
Sure a good time lol

2025-01-29T12:10:56

Having a good day?

I have a surprise for you :)

So far so good :)

Excellent

Make big planning decisions yet?

Lol the big planning finale is in the 1:00 meeting!

PS I don't expect to have to say anything in this meeting

Good to know

Do you want any warning?

Nah, it's all good

Did you need a lamp for somewhere?

Doubtful

2025-01-29T15:07:02

Making big changes for the afg?

2025-01-29T20:23:10

Heyyy

Hiiiiiii

Did you get food?

Snugged in bed?

Got some food. About to head upstairs. You?

Just taking care of the laundry and tidying up

Thank you so , so much

For a fabulous Wednesday afternoon

I owe you every thanks there has ever been or ever will be

I am still very swirly and reverberating and .muffled

A little trip on brain drugs, probably weed enhanced

Is it ok?

I should think the weed will be well past the 'intense' part

Sorry lol I'm asking all these questions

Just enjoy it

It is fine

I dont think it is normal

Go count sheep
Or highland cows
Or
What do you like to count?

I count back from 100 in any language that isnt English

I wish i was with you now

Aww
Me too babe
I wish we were together

And I would hold you

Yes

I think you would take care of me

And i would let you

I certainly would

I feel like i have no muscle control. Like I'm floating

That sounds like.premium orgasm to me

I should pee

I am so tired and relaxed though

Le sigh

I feel like i should float awat

*away

Float to sweet Dreamland babes

Dont like going septic from a uti so i opted to tinkle

Good call

What else?

What else from me eh,

I've actually been writing a diary entry about tonight

I think you'd like it. I will share it when I'm done

Dont let me interrupt you

Np

You might need to remind me though

Ok when?

Perhaps tomorrow at this time, assuming I haven't already sent it

Ok

So leave you to it now?

No it's all good babes!

So you ate?

Yes. And cleaned myself up a bit

How is your bed?

It's fine

Good

Do you have any questions?

Just want to make sure you are ok

I think i am

Can you tell me what wouldnt be okay?

A reason to call EMS

I dont have a reason to call them

But I think you are breathing yeah

Right

Perfect

And body, mind, spirit wise?

Mixed. And fantastic.

I am so, so tired

Poor baby!

You did have a workout!

I just laid there

Isometric muscle exercises are still exercises

I cant keep my eyes open but will have questions tomorrow

No problem at all

I wanted to tell you things tonight too, when i felt really close. Someday soon i hope i will

Ok :)

Some of portugal

You took so much time to get to know me

Still working on it actually :)

Really?

There is always more to know

Yes

Goodnight my love

Goodnight my sweet

Rest well ❤️‍🩹

Thank you 🙂

Endlessly

And thank you for not making me ferl embarrassed

You are welcome love

There's nothing to worry about

2025-01-30T06:17:03

null

Hiiiiiii

Hey babes how are you?

Good :)

Weird, but good i think

Ironically, the top of my back realllllly hurts lol

null

He says no work

I'm with the car on this one lol
Sorry if I worked your back a little hard!

I am still speechless

I am too, kinda! Such a wonderful time!

Lol my hips are a little achy

I am very sorry

How is your new carpal tunnel?

I am still fuzzy and all of that. Muffled.

Oh, Stop apologizing :) it's nothing a little massage can't help :)

I'm fine really, just a little achy, like after the first workout of the year

Worth it!!!

You are too much

I just need to sleep this iff for a few years

null

Mmhmm

Any commentary for now?

I want to make love to you a lot more

Why now?

I mean I did already, but yesterday was soooooo good

For me, yes

It was the first time anyone did so much for me

It's what i had craved for so long

And you just knew how to do it perfectly

Why was it good for you? You had to do all the work

Half of my pleasure is your pleasure. It makes me want to give you more. It's gratifying and satisfying!

You are beyond amazing

I think i felt love?

Yay!

I wish you could confirm that somehow

It absolutely is love
That's why I do what I do for you

Thank you

I think it was in my face, open for you to take

You're adorable:)

You are, too

But why do you think i am? What makes you say it?

I am going to do a maybe hard thing now

The way you relish me ravaging you, the way you rest, the way you look at me

Oh. Thank you. I'm so, so happy you understand those things from me. They are inarticulateable

I am thinking of and yearning for you now with my 1000 yard stare that i gave you yesterday

It isnt something i intentionally conjure up either. It only exists when you bring it out

It's part of me that i cannot unlock. You had to do that.

I have odd things to say later

Meetings all day for you?

Do you know when you'll be less occupied?

Sorry!

Not a lot of meetings, but a couple this morning. I should be free around 11

No worries

Just wondered

Please think about how much you want to know about any current and post coital physical sensations i have

😊

2025-01-30T10:54:50

null

Hi bebee!!!

Tell me everything!

What should i start with?

That was a legit question

Where do you want me to start?

Please start with what you're feeling now

Body: relaxed and also worked. All of my muscles and joints are sore but not in a bad way. Everything is tired. I am verrrrrry sleepy even though i slept for 10 hours straight last night.

The part of me under my panties... i can tell you were there. Kind of swollen but not hurt. I feel a little rearranged but again, not hurt. Tiny bit of bleeding but nit painful at all. I want more sex and i think I'm still wet and aroused and ready. I feel like everything is kind of buzzy for 2 or 3 inches every direction. My eyes still swirly. I am still dazed. I could die like this next to you and be very serene, very happy

Yeah?

I feel weak

O wow babe I do hope I didn't damage you. I'm glad you got some solid sleep!

Do you think you damaged me?

No not really, but I am curious about the blood

It just happens

It's negligible at most

Ok :)

Fwiw, i wanted every secone of last night. All the exploring and feeling and actual love making :)

My mind still has a lot of confusion but i am very placod and very happy and contented

Silly question....

I came a LOT, right? Or did i imagine it because of the intensity

I was really scared

You came a lot, by any definition

Did you have a fave one?

Probably the series where you squirted on my face :)

Ohhh sorry!

Was that more internal or external on me?

Oh I had you both ways... A finger or two in you to start, and then decided you go after your clit with my mouth. You were like a faucet I could turn on by licking you:)

And let's be clear, I loved every minute of it

All of this is new

That's why i ask so much stuff

I don't know anything about my own body. My psyche is different but i know it bette4. She's been thriugh a trip these last few months too

I love you

null

I love you babe!

I feel drunk

I do hope we get more quality time together

Yes

Do you think we wont?

I think we will, I'm just letting you know I want it. I want you. I want for us to fall asleep in each other's arms after fucking each other so much we can't see

That was me yesterday

Yes!

You swear it was just 1 breath of normal weed?

That's it, quite literally

I don't mess with other stuff

Why was yesterday so different?

Not sure. There was the tea - caffeine. A little synergy there

And maybe just raw desire

How is your back/shoulders btw?

Good i think. They feel tired like they did a lot of exercise

The base of my neck isnt great though. That part hurts

How are your hips? How does your phallus feel?

How are your arms?

My hips and arms are just a touch sore, like from exercise. Just a little though, not distracting. My manhood feels fine. Great even! Lol

Last night was the "first time" i always wanted or even imagined

Aww! It was wonderful

This is major

I hope you're okay with that

I felt like garbage all of a sudden. Went to get a tiny bit of fresh air

I look awwwwful

null

null

Oh noes what's the matter?

I feel suddenly very unwell

Weak and pain and not thinking great

Hmm

And shaky

😘

How is it going?

Oww

But good

Ok

You?

Fine, I just made lunch

What did you have?

It's a frankenburrito lol

My lunch was fantastic

Yay! What was it?

Garlic herb couscous, tomato slices with o/v & cheddar sprinkles, buttered corn, cupcake... something else

Ooh very nice!

I've been meaning to ask you - what is your choice of tomato at this time of year?

I take what i can get lol

I don't love roma

They HAVE to be firm

Nothing sickly pale red

Have you ever had a kumato? Jicama?

I have THE BEST sticky notes for you

If you use sticky notes

I do use sticky notes
I really should move my notepad before I start je-

Oops I almost gerunded right on my phone

My gutter mind only comes up with dirty words that start with je-

Care to gerund,

?

I'm sorry I've completely blanked it out

Jerked it right off, did ya?

Right!

Oops theres another sticky note

Making me sticky... is that appealing ? I'm curious why or why not is all abd if you'd have a location on me in mind

Oh aren't you cheeky?

I do feel like I got over some hangups yesterday

I'm really looking forward to our next sexventure

What hangups?

And meeeee tooooo

null

Please :)

I just felt more spontaneous overall

Do you know why?

Any inkling at all?

Not really, I guess I felt more focused on you

Hmm

Why? I mean why the focus? I can tell you my theories after you tell me yours

Weed is one factor

Being hyped for days is another

What you got?

But i saw you monday!

I was relaxed, i wanted everything you were willing to give me

I had a shred more confidence than usual in you seeing allllllll of me because i had just been waxed. I wanted you to touch and feel and explore and discover me like you deserve to do

I think i was finally ready to have someone make love to me for real and i think you knew that

DAYS lol

So much yes! And I apologize I didn't say anything about the wax, but she sure was pretty!

Is pretty

In my world, we had a look that got exchanged right after you laid me down naked and that look told you i was ready and craved you and the connection and yours to me said that you're happy to give me that. And i think the look was twinged with a tony bit of sadness but it was necessary to know how much the acts to follow would affect me forever

Aww babe that's so sweet

What else do you think about that which is typed above?

I honestly feel kinda dumb now that you know

Nooo it's so sweet

I understood you wanted me
And I was so happy because ofc I want you too!

And I felt confident and comfortable

And set about pleasing you

It makes me feel insanely vulnerable

And remembered that hot oil between us is incredibly sexy

You think so?

Oh my god yes

Why?

Feeling your skin slide on mine like that makes me quiver

And when I got hard and could rub myself in you

Omg

That was perrrrrrrfect

Wasn't it so good?

I love it

Did I surprise you?

I dont think surprise is the word

But yes

What got you hard?

You

But i didn't even touch you that time

You pleasing my eyes, my fingers, my nise

I mean you welcome to ofc. Always

But I just wanted to devour you

Thank you infinitely

Though this is still strange for me to understand

You're welcome

I hope it seems normal someday :)

Even though I personally think what we have is special

Because we're cosmic twins or something

Yes

I dont even understand what I'm trying to understand, if that makes sense

I get it actually

I do

I am on very wobbly ground, esp not knowing what happens from here. What to even think of or imagine

You'll still want me?

I already gave you almost everything i have

We're in similar spots babe
Yes ofc I still want you

You have a v card of mine. That's wild.

And here I thought there was no way I'd ever in this life time get anyone's anything

You have a few of mine. Last night was a big one

Mmmmm

Last night

I know my anatomy is kinda fucked up btw. It's okay for you to say so

It's no biggie to me. I'm still getting to know you. I like the process, and I like you

I'm very glad

And I will become the one who knows you best

It's embarassing to me and i feel a lot of shame about being atypical and unpredictable with my inner displays

That's ok

I do not and will not judge you for it

I can at least give you this safe space

And

You are very pleasing to my eyes, so I will always appreciate what you are willing to show me

You asked me to do several things last night

Thank you

And yes

Did you want to say more?
Should i not have asked?

Nononono
But I wanted to mention this because you did that despite your embarrassment and shame. I am proud of you! And ofc I was more than willing to do as you asked

I love the way you talk to me during sex

How?

This is something I knew I was missing in my life

Dont i just... talk? Like normal?

Yes
The thing is there has almost never been talking during sex (for me in my life). And I'm equally responsible for that.

But I knew somehow that wasn't right. Partners should communicate, and feel safe

I love when you talk during sex too

I have so much going on in my mind that i need to talk to be okay

If i am weirdly quiet it's usually not a good thing. When i havent been able to talk around you, it's because there's nothing left in my head and i am pure euphoria

Totally makes sense

I also love it when you tell me what you want

Oh! That's good!

I feel bad saying those things

Nooooo!

Never feel bad

I want it

I'll work on that

Roger that

Yeah you can tell me to kiss her

And point

And you can also shove my face in your crotch

I want to but i cant yet

As you prefer

No worries

This doesn't all have to evolve at once

I love how I'm learning

And the homework is fucking awesome

Hehe

If you had wanted or tried, i would've been cool with anal last nigjt. Whatever that would mean to you

I do have plans/ideas for how it will go if or when we reach that point

I came pretty close a couple times actually

My requests are that you ask before realllllly going for it and that it's slow and "nice"

I wasnt just cool with it

I wanted you to go for it

Yes I remember
I decided in the end to stick with familiar
This time

Any reason?

Heat if the moment

Do you know why my downstairs play compartment is atypical?

I do not. Apart from my uneducated theories involving SA

I would appreciate if you shared those but i would never make you

It's really just a broad assumption that these are causally related. I do not have thoughts about mechanism.

Okay

You are correct

I want to know how different i am vs normal

That's some messed up thinking but i cant help it

Hey babe - i reallllllly need to lay down

Remember that when you're ready for more stories or explanations if a lot of things, just say so

Ok sounds good sweetie

Have a nice rest!

I love that you want to care for me. I want to accept it

Yay :)

You're worth it babe!

Whatcha doin?

Oh hey!

Tryna figure out why my PC just crashed. In the middle of recording a Cure album

Ohhhh no!

Go for an adventure instead

Ooh, to my refrigerator?

You could

Fthkpjgddfgkoiwww

Google translate only offered:

Seek escape from the planet immediately

So long, and thanks for all the fish

We only just met!

Don't panic!

I'll fish you

Lol

I think you have. Lots. And i think you know i like it

I guess i have to feed myself?

Wait why are you there? When I'm here? I'm wearing your pink hoodie all day

Funny you say that

I could've spent time with you tonight

Waa!!

Did not know til just now

Well crap

Im kind pissed about that and a bunch more now. Ugh.

Detention!

He self isolated there already

What are you doing for dinner? And the rest of the evening?

Right

I don't know

I've thought about ordering JJs

I seldom do it

But they are kind of my junk food fave

Awwwe

I really fucking hurt babe

Why?

What happened?

It's just my body. It does this sometimes

I'm sorry babes

You should, like , spend the day at a spa or something

I should, like, have you help me do stuff

What chu need bebe

A lot of stuff

You can actually prob help with some of it if you want

But i feel bad

No, thank you

No way lol

I set my phone on a wet counter and it sent that

Uhhhh

I heard the noise

To be clear, this was counter water send, not me

Well i was confused no matter which of you sent it

It was a quick-reply option I suppose

Anyway, I haven't actually answered your question

It wasn't really a question, but you had concerns about telling me what I can help with

So do tell svp

Category first please

Options?

Oh. Idk. Most of them lol

Lol

I'm on it

Hey do you still want to ride me?

Yes

Why?

No reason

At all

Nope

Lol

Liessssss

Pssshew I was a little to close to that window just now

Ooh fenetre gentille a fenetre...

Anyhoo

You were saying?

Categories?

Why ask if i still want to ride you?

Oh I just think that you will find it all the more interesting at this point in our sexual relationship

It's actually funny thinking about how I know this

Ooh JJ is here!

Mwa!

Brb

Lol

I really want you to explain more

My food is just about done cooking

Ok. :)

null

So you were saying?

Didn't I say it?

You think itll be more interesting based on our relationship development.

I'm greedy and want more details lol

Oh!

Lol one sec

Ok

I told once about the "whole earth catalog"

Maybe you remember this, but it isn't really important

I dont remember it by that name, if i remember it

But please continue

Right

So it was this huge catalog
Like 4 JCPenney catalogs in a big 2x2 grid

And it was a bunch of cool hippie stuff

Agriculture stuff

Practical stuff

Almost like homesteading maybe

Very eco minded

And in the middle were about 6 pages of adult books for couples and the like

And some photographic -,ish (actually line drawings)

Images from the books the catalog was suggesting

And on one page was a line drawings of a naked woman riding her man comfortably, and a considerable caption

Which told the virtues of the woman on top approach

Yes i remember you telling me this story

For some reason i thought it was a porn magazine or something

You were pre teen

Only 6 pages in the middle of 400 pages

Pages that were 4-up size!

I'm talking A0 or A1

Yes I was a preteen

So you and i both remember this

How do you think me riding you will be different now?

Because we both know each other better

Okay

Agreed

What do you recall me being like that other time?

I know what i remember thinking i was like

Bashful, not good enough, unsure what to do, embarrassed at being so chunky, worried i would hurt you or you would be wayyyyyy too big for me and i would be in serious pain, that i would be boring

Well that's no way to enjoy sex

I still enjoyed it enough

So yeah, it has to be better

Ok I'm glad. :)

Your turn

Me on top!?

Speaking of

Ohhh now i want to know those thoughts too

Nono wait lol

What did you think when i was on top that first night?

But you were mayhe asking something else

Oh I was still reveling about our size difference
And
You looked so fabulous and bouncy and pretty and precious bouncing on me

Size difference

Right

You know the one

Where they put the

Lime in the coconut

I'm glad you thought so

It's a weird pride point i have

Right your tightness
I shall address thee
Forwarthwidthe

Right, okay

What else

And I loved grabbing your butt

And getting to feel your back and abdomen and boobies

Mmhmmmm

Get some oil between us

What do you do best?

I say what?

That's a very broad question

Im sorry, dont let me interrupt

Lol

Now I want to know what you meant lol

But in the meantime

You could slither and squeeze your pussy up on me

And we would both be very slippery

And I might just slither into you who knows?

Wouldn't you already be in me?

Oh no

Doesn't have to be

That's fun too

Coital alignment technique

Google it

That's wild!

Hmm?

Yes?

2025-01-31T00:22:48

Damn that sandman

2025-01-31T06:11:36

Good morning babe!

Hey you!

Hieee!!!

Did you have an argument with a sand man?

He straight up knocked me out!

Rude.

Geez!

Where were we?

Something something insert shaft D in tight opening

I think at some point you were probably thinking it wouldn't work

When was that?

Idk. First time maybe? I could be wrong

Nah, I had every faith

I have news from the south

Boo

They plan to return Saturday

Ikr

I am sad now

I'm sorry

Me too actually

I'm really sorry i was sick and things went to shit around here

It's ok babe, don't beat yourself up about it

:(

Aww

It's ok

Did they have a time for tomorrow?

Didn't say, but it's a 10+ hour drive and they are behind by one time zone. All is which is to say doubtful I would see them before 2100 at the earliest

I see

What are your plsns between now and then?

You, to the extent possible :)

Oh i see! I would love to do some things

I'm unsure how to accomplish that

Any chance you can get out this evening?

Currently unsure but I'll work at it

When you say evening, you mean...?

Oh, say, between now and tomorrow noon?

I just have no idea how to get out of here :(

2025-01-31T08:23:26

Im sure we can brainstorm something

Heyy babe

Hey babelet

How you doin?

My eyelids hate me, but I'm ok otherwise

Awww! Are they heavy?

Nooo they feel like sandpaper :(

Awww

Humidifier?

Waaaa!

What's wrong?

I'm just complaining lol

I don't want to adult today unless that means adult activities with sex partner

I am of a similar mindset. Except i kinda wanna clean and i also have destinations i wanna go

Would you like to be of actual assistance to me today?

As opposed to fake assistance lol

Exactly

Sure
Do you need help undressing?

Omggggg

Is that a yes?

I always want you to undress me

Are you alone?

In this room, yes

Why? Whatchu want?

I was going to come by and offer you a free trial if my undressing services

Hmmm

What if we try a shop & delivery service today and i swing by in the morning at the latest if i cant break free tonight and i try the trial chez vous?

Non?

Dommage

Comment?

Comment quoi?

Comment ça va?

Je vais pas mal merci

Je veut voyager quelque place

Quelque place c'est ici, np?

Entre des autres

Emmhmm

Would you like your delivery in the front or in the rear?

2025-01-31T12:33:29

Heya

Hieee!

How ya doin?

Having a good time mocking the tenant migration bs

Oh mmhmm

I have good news. Maybe.

Yeah?

Potentially

Better than nothing I reckon!

Fancy a sleepover?

Sounds lovely!

You'd have to come to where I'll be

Oh? Where you be?

The first place we met i think

Lol

Lol!

So are you getting a room?

Yeah

Is that ok?

Might make you shop too

Lol

Big linguist convention in Dewitt?

Nope

Just me saying i want a night away and to myself

Gotta have you shush for a bit. I'll let you know when it's clear again

Mmmmk

Whassup

Whatchu thinkin?

Wondering about your plan

What about it?

Still viable?

Yes

Just a matter of when and what else i want to do in my time away from here

Cool!

😭🤢💔

Oh no

😢

What's wrong?

I'm just going to crawl my way to a bridge i can throw myself off of now

Nooooo

Ugh 🤦‍♀️

Did you get your hall pass revoked

Self postponed is more like it

I'm headed there/out tomorrow instead since I've only gotten sicker over the course of today

Oh no!

I'm sorry

Me too

null

That is my sad face

What time will they be home tomorrow?

No telling. Most likely between 1800 and 2200

Cant you tell them they should stop somewhere? Bad roads or whatever?

:)

That is a smile face

Just wishing

Okay

Maybe we'll be lucky

It could happen! She said they were going to come back today but "the boys need to rearrange stuff in the trunk". I guess that takes a day lol

Oooohhh good!

I feel like such a jerk

You appear to still be working

Lol appearances are deceptive

Lol i knowwwwwww

Did you need something worky?

Oh crap

I forgot to follow up on the PIN report

Meh

No one asked me anyway

But thanks

I'm on my third contact in the chain lol

Lol ofc

Just 3!?

So far

Here is something for which a solution would be fantastic

I have a stack of med papers/itemized things

I need to sort them by issue. Like, one admission followed by weeks of iv antibiotics but all the same serviceable claim

How do i best sort them?

I have hard copies or scans

Hmm
I'm not quite sure what you mean by "issue". Is this like an admitting diagnosis?

Maybe?

It's just for me, for aflac

So if i went to the er, then got admitted, then a temp proline, then iv antibiotics at home for a few weeks, then proline removed, that's one thing

I see

I'm not aware of any data that identifies these encounters as related in some way.

How would you group them?

As in you, Mr Holaday

It's a purely human task. I would look at them, and knowing the story around them, I would put them in the same pile.

Similarly, when I got IV antibiotics for my knee infection, I was seeing an ID specialist. Their billing said nothing about the injury, but I know they were related

Yes

What is your favorite font?

And colorization thereof

Ooh this will take some time

I've literally spent hours making font choices

And I don't think I will be able to tell you a favorite

Different tools for different jobs, you know?

For records

Albums

Organizing

Something utilitarian
I'm actually impressed with Segoe. David and I spent 45 minutes looking for an alternative and ended up back where we started. We still laugh about that.

For what purpose?

Also, fuckkkkk this eugxhhh nonsense I'm dealing with rn

I am not a nice person anymore

Booooo

Sick sucks

I'm sorry babe

I'm pretty sure it's just migraine

Bur i hate imitrex

I took it anyway because this is unbearable

Aww I'm sorry

I am headed to hopefully sleep for a bit. I'll let you know when I'm chattable again

null

null

null

null

null

Sleep well pretty baby 😘

2025-02-01T06:38:47

Heyyy

2025-02-01T08:02:51

null

2025-02-01T09:28:35

Lololol

How are you?

Hey babe! I'm good
How are you feeling today?

I feel a lottttttt better. And accidentally hit a weight loss goal lol

You?

I'm glad you feel better. Did you get lots of sleep?

Eh.... kind of. And mixed. Lots of instant waking up, body upset, change sweaty clothes, back to sleep. Ativan needed for parts. Was generally a very poor night

And you?

I slept pretty well I guess

What's eating you?

Nothing unfortunately:)

Awwww

I still feel like the worst secret gf partner ever for having to postpone

😋

These things happen

I forgive you

It just means i have to make it up to you ;)

That's right

You headed anywhere today?

I didn't have a mind to
But my brain isn't all there yet

Understandable

I can always task you with something!

Or many

null

That is awesome

Thanks! All secondhand, obv

Well damn i just fell over

This "think like your physiology should act" thing is really cramping my style

What? Did you lose your balance?

Just not enough blood pressure to keep my brain and vision and balance all working together at the same time

Huh

I feel like most people would call it passing out but i think that's too extreme of a label

Right

You should look at POTS when you have a chance

It's a newer diagnosis i have but i don't think I've familiarized you

Interesting. I just skimmed.

Yeah

I had to bring it to my pcp's attention

But i have evvvvery symptom

I'll take my honorary MD anytime now lol

Today's breakast to help support me and my lack of bp...

null

Good choices!
Except that yellow thing

Mmmm K

See what i did there??

Na lol

Word from the south?

None

Interesting

I wonder what that means

Nothing

They usually let me know where they are somewhere in the first half

But they didnt say if they had left or if they're waiting?

They're not very task-oriented folks

Oiye, matko shviente

I decorated a $2 shelf

null

null

Nice!

Thx!

2025-02-01T12:29:58

Heya

What's up?

I'm going to get breakfast at Fleetwood. Any interest?

I'm on the west side now but thank you!

Still no word?

Nope

:/

How ami supposed to plan!?

I feel your pain lol

2025-02-01T14:13:34

Yo babe

Heya

How doing?

Full and fuzzy brained

2025-02-01T15:47:45

And the other crew?

Why you fuzzy?

Btw, you know you still have some of my stuff,,,??

Just don't want you in trouble

Yep I've got a little spot with your stuff no worries it's invisible in this mess lol

Awwws

Any wordings yet?

Nothing

null

null

null

null

null

null

null

null

null

Should you check on them?

They are 5 hours out

Okay 👍

Oh that should've been a thumbs down

I am so sorry

You gonna be ok?

Yep I'm fine
I'll just go back into hibernation lol

Awwww

Did you want to go somewhere for the next few hours? I have a v small window

Make a date for the morning maybe?

I got you some cool decor the the beam

Potentially

I mean they're yours regardless but i think the pics would be cool on the beam

Cool!
I need to finish tidying up here
Mayhaps in the morning? But idk when I'll be up and around

That's fine
Same here
Still kinda sick

2025-02-01T17:53:23

How are you now?

Just woke up from a lil nap :)

Aw 😊

😊

How's it going?

Pretty good You?

Baaaaaaabe

Hey!

How are you?

Pretty good!

What have you been up to?

Trying to soldier an audio cable lol. I am woefully bad at this

Just treat yourself to a new one?

Can't buy what I want

I got it! Lol

Only took me an hour to soldier 5 connections. Think I could get job doing this?

Soldering & Services

I like it!

Lol!

Feeling prepared?

Meh
Lol

What's on your mind?

Wtf

Oh sorry

Uh

There was a prefab reply sitting there that I thought I somehow tapped

Suuuuuure

It said "absolutely nothing 😊"

And I thought it was already sent

But it wasn't, as I discovered when I said wtd

Dang it! Lol

Anyway

Im not thinking about it

They'll come in like an elephant herd bitching and moaning, blabber for 10 minutes, and proceed to smoke for 5 days

Ohhhh babe :(

Yeah it was nice not hearing all the f bombs for a couple weeks

So I did something kinda fun today

I said a lot of f bombs in your presence...

What was the fun?

Well your f bombs are literal. I'm ok with that

In fact it's a huge turn on, especially when you tell me to fuck you

But I digress

Okay but i need that kind so



:(

Why sad?

Because you cant fuck me anytime soon

Well crap
Waaa!

Maybe next Wednesday? #remindme

What's the date?

Oh lol it's the 12th

That's our court wedding daye

I think it's also the 20th anniversary of my ONS

If that isn't poetic I don't know what is

Holy fuckkkkkkkk

Just fyi, 20 years ago i was 18

Lol

Sweet sweet legal babe!

And cute af

Still in hs

And still is

At that point? Absolutely not. There are zero pics from that part of my life

Hmm

Oh fair

I actually kinda wish there were

Well

So I went to Fleetwood

And I was wearing track pants and a hoodie thrown over my outfit from last night

And you may be wondering

Obv

null

Brace yourself lol

Fucking cute!

What were you doing in the office ?

Editing one of the records I recorded last night

Among other things

Yeah so it was really fun knowing I had my fuzzy pink leggings , babygirl tee, etc

I love going to work super slutty

This was actually the second outfit I tried on

Oh?

Yep

Also very fetching!

You know you pose like a girl? Your legs

I am not conscious of that, but I know I like to move my hips aot

Guess id better get ready to act normal lol

Ewwww

Hey!

Remember when we fucked a realllly long time a few days ago?

And i soaked your bed?

I'm not going to forget it :)

And your face?

Yes

Much soakage lol

And you touched evvvvvvery last millimeter of me?

Jesus girl

And you pumped me full of you?

And i was glowing with oil?

😻

And i would have let you take any and every part of me?

And then i was nonfunctional for a full day after?

Yessss!

🍆

Much larger, but you know that

💦

Great. Now I'm salivating.

Serves ya right

Hard yet?

I'm getting all way over here and my fam is about to walk in

*all wet

😊

Ya crazy!

Maybe next time you just take me as soon you kiss me hard and throw me down

I'd I like oiling you up that was fing hot

Yeah? Definitely. Use your hands firmer

Really? How were your shoulders?

They still need to really be rubbed out hard

No joke

You cannot apply too much pressure

Hmm ok!

And I never took care of your lower front bits
Because I got really horny

Didnt take care of??

Am very confused

I was supposed to massage the front part of your legs, and belly, and hips, and thighs

And I think your inner thighs

And straight up give you a pussy massage

But I guess we got there!

Damn you were just amazing

I did no such thing

You were the most amazing i could ever imagine

But also... is a pussy massage a real thing?

I'm voting yes

Cool

But I got squirted on so all good 😊

Several times

Oh yeah

If you were unaware

I was intimately aware

It's weird lol

I'll agree with that

Yeah? How?

In fact you were peeing on me

Right in my mouth at times

Not my usual day

But I expected it

To a point lol

Omg I'll go die now

You blew me away and it was fucking great !

Kinda like a v-card? For me

Well you have a few of mine

I got squirted on once before.

Only a little bit

But also... i did not do a fucking thing

That was you

Well lucky me 😈

Do it alllllllllllllll again please!

Ugh. L alert.

Good luck with your goons soon

2025-02-02T07:16:25

Hey babydolldoodle

2025-02-02T08:59:58

Heyyy

What are you doing?

Just getting up

Must coffee

Lucky you

Surviving?

Tbd

Awwwww

Cats are revolting

Need foodies

Oh Lord
Nitya is still drinking

Ohhhhh wow

You said "still"

It is after 0900

Ikr

Fuckkkkk my back hurts

How are you now?

Kinda mur

Kinda same

What do you wabt to vent?

I'm not at venting stage. Just want to drink coffee lol

Okay babe :)

Drugs for me, please

Lotssssss

I have tasks if you need a distraction :)

What kinda tasks?

New job would be nice

Or just additional job

;)

Piles o' money

Right on

Need a quick fix to something if you have 5 mins now

What's up?

How to refresh or soften already-baked cookies

I tried that once

Small piece of damp paper towel in airtight container

But I overdid it

Cookies became mush

Ick

What does the google say?

Use a piece of bread

JFC Nitya just asked me for a beer

I told him no

How'd that go?

Why did he ask you?

As opposed to geting it himself

I'm sure his supply is exhausted

And he came downstairs looking to raid my cooler

What is the catalyst for his drinking?

Self loathing

From anything specific?

Idk

Okay thanks

I'm basically asking if there was a known event or trauma that set off the alcoholism

This is mere curiosity

Off topic, but if you fancy a trip somewhere locally today, tomorrow, etc please let me know

If I believe his mother's theories, which I don't, the Genesis of his racism and lack of personal accountability relates to an accident in which he was going to the qd up the street one early morning. He was drunk, going to buy more, and got hit crossing the road by a black girl. He went over the hood. He was injured but not seriously.

Interesting. Thank you.

Wait - you all lived there together as a household of 4 at some point, right?

Do you want to go to Sam's or gw?

Yes please

FR?

Anything

For real was the comment

I left the house 20 minutes ago

Uh-oh

Where you at?

I'm a mess appearance-wise, but I'd rather be where you are

I'm actually at vanatta park rn

Idk where that is

Bur i can be ready in like 15? Maybe less

It'll take me 20 to get back there np

You sure?

Need snack? Drink?

Snack would be nice. I was thinking about getting breakfast

What snack?

Idk I can't really think rn

Ok

I'll get ready


Just lmk when youre here

Or if I'm meeting you somewhere i can do that

I'm on your street now

Okay

2025-02-02T18:10:19

Hi

I legit am not sure anyone knew I left the house

Which is fine

Oh. I don't know what to say

I hope you had an okay day regardless

I enjoyed it actually!

Yay!

I am so grateful for your company

If you had wanted to just make out in your back seat, i would also have been okay with that

I would have been sulking somewhere alone

I never want that

It's not great

What do you do when you sulk alone?

Do you have emotions?

It's endless internal chatter

Making up stories about what I might say. It's so unproductive

I used to drive around the state

I've told you about that

This is the kind of day where I would do that

Is there an end result? I can kind of explain where I'm coming from if you need

There's rarely any useful result

I may find some neat places occasionally, but it's not like I solved any problems

Do you calm down or what?

Well the thing is I am calm. Calmly accepting my fate, or my loss, or whatever this is. But calmly.

Right

Do you feel better whenever you go back, i guess?

Only in some sense that I did something probably would not have done otherwise. I don't know if that even makes sense.

Example: I was seriously considering driving to lake Michigan,literally just to see it. I might not even get out of the car. But I've never seen the lake in the winter, and maybe I would have today.

It's not important that I do that, but then I could say that I did that, and I'd have some kind of memory of it.

I would like to do that with you

Like driving to Detroit on Grand River Ave. Like who tf cares? But I did that

I do/did plenty of stuff like that

And hey if you'd like to drive to the lake, I'd love to go with you.

I ask about the end result because it's hard for me to understand not being crazy about it. I need to cross a line, i think, but idk if you turn numb like I've done a lot of.

So if i was in your position (and i have been), i xant just go someplace most of the time but i dont really drink and i dont have that desire.

It's manifested for me as impulsive half assed life exiting attempts, finding someone who would at least choose to fuck me even if it never happens, or maybe i clean til pass out from pain. I dojt do the escaping well like you do. Most often it's been me intentionally self injuring and i wish i could explain it better than all the clichés already do. It's a habit after this long. It's involuntary. It doesn't need anything or anyone but me to do it. It hurts but doesn't, and it causes a lasting reminder so i kind of build up strength against it or remind myself later what a fucked up self i have

I've been kind of lucky that I could physically escape.

I am also aware that it's been quite a while since I felt like I needed to do this. Run away, that is

Do you know why it's more intense now?

Because I once again feel like an alien in my own house

I am so sorry babe

Do you know what my wish would be if we could choose tomorrow's course of events?

No, what would it be?

Fair warning it's kind of a mixed bag

Lol ok

You and i find a place with fluffy blankets and pillows and we stay in bed. Somehow we have all the beverages we need. And fresh breath lol.

We cuddle and canoodle and talk, we have sex or do sex things or whatever throughout the day. I tell you some stories. You tell me more stories. We sleep.

Idk what else

I honestly cannot think of a better way to spend a winter day!

Yeah i know :)

It was the fresh breath part that really clinched it for me lol

You should write Mentos ads

Lol

That was a dig at me, not you

Sorry for the delay

No offense taken lol

I will allllllllways be self concious of being offputting by my smell or taste

It's ok babe :)

What are you up to now?

Sitting in my basement, scrolling Reddit

Anything good?

Contemplating going to my bedroom

Me too!

Nah it's all terrible news. Plane crashes. Tariffs. Stupidity. Urgh

Yes

I was a news junkie for a very long time

I now consciously avoid news

That's honestly a good ideas

It's dumb, and i kind of know that, but i got so, so depressed knowing i couldnt help anyone

It's not dumb

https://youtu.be/AyyAh2lQXF8?si=rg9YWiijmnhC6HKb

Trust me

Perfect!
It's almost like those who don't remember the past are doomed to relive it

Right

Never thought of it as a dark comedy before lol

Did you ever watch any tv?

Nothing the Nielsen's would have been tracking. Nature shows, documentaries.

Have not really watched TV at all in several years now

Yeah, but I didnt know if ever

With suann

Were you okay losing it to her, and when and whete and how you did?

Did it ever occur to you that the event would, could, should matter?

I dont know how to phrase what I'm asking better than that

Yeah I'm fine with it. I didn't know then anybody had notions about how or where "it" was supposed to happen, and honestly couldn't care less now.

Did your parents have some semblance of "the talk" with you? Before, after, ever?

I'm guessing they knew you fucked in hs while you were still there but idk

My mom said some words to me later. They were very oblique and I honestly had to make an effort to connect what she said with why she said it. That was an odd moment. My parents are usually fairly direct.

Can you give me anything more than that?

It was something about how I might find myself in some situations I want comfortable in and I should know I can always talk to them (the rents)

Im guessing they were never the "you should wait until you're married" type

Noooo, we did not practice those sorts of "morals'

In fact I'm pretty sure the church wedding they had was 80% to soothe my dad's mom

You know how female bodies work though

We were a wholesome bunch, but not prissy

My previous text - was this the norm for your generation? I would guess not. So i dont know how you learned these things. No internet and blahblahblah

Idk if it was norm? But East Lansing is a liberal town, and well-educated. Everyone I knew , I think , had a decent understanding of female anatomy. Because frankly the only way we could get some is by reading books 😱

Although some of my friends were much luckier than i

Lol. Fair, i guess

You do know you know more than i do, right?

About girls and about my own corpus

I honestly forget that. I know you've told me. It's so odd to me that it doesn't entirely register

Like how could you not know

You have interwebs

There are places where people share information. Some of it is actually good

I don't mean that to sound snotty

No, i get what youre saying

I understand your life experiences are rather difficult

I never had any school sex ed, for one thing

Tbh

I didnt have internet til i went to college

What I learned in sex Ed was things I already knew

Clearly others did not, so all good.

I sort of had half a talk from my mom once and i can tell you that story but it's awkward and will take a sec to type. Id like to tell you

But it doesn't have to be now

I also may have already told you?

When you like :)

I don't think so?

Okay if it's in snippets? Some jerk left stuff outside my garage i have to bring in lol

Lol

There was one summer when i was struggling with what i should do because i had blood in my underwear and i didnt know if i should say something or if id be in trouble or look stupid or be yelled at for bugging her. But i decided to say something.

So i changed my panties and threw some tissues in them and yelled out the side window to where she was gardening that i had some blood but it wasnt a big deal. She heaved a huge side i could hear from like a story off the ground and said she'd come in to check on me in a bit

So she came in some time later and she and i sat on the edge of my bed

I dont remember much, something about there being a triangle in my body that was going to turn and change and that would happen over the next few years and did i have any questions

I didnt have a clue what she was saying so i just said no

And then she said there was another thing we should talk about and that was sex, was i ready then or should we wait until later

Again, no clue and it was summer and i wanted to get away from her and go to the basement where it was cool, so i said later

And there was never a later

Huh

A few weeks after that she told me i needed to take more showers

I hated them because our showertubthing was always so dirty

So i asked why and she said because she wasnt going to have a smelly kid like my grandma had let her be when she wished someone told her to lose weight and put on makeup and take more personal hygiene care

And so i was still not convinced i guess, so she described how i was going to start sweating more and habing hair everywhere that i would need to shave all the time and it was a giant pain in the ass and i would hate it

Literal words from her, and yes in a not-so-nice tone. Kind of seething, if that makes sense

But anyway

That's most of it

What questions do you have before i continue?

I mean that's super clear and right in line with the character I know as your biological female elder

I also remember a conversation about bathing and smells. That was when deodorant showed up

I did not get the hair everywhere must shave! talk to y

Same

Well you're a boy

Lol I know

There are a few facts that have been glossed over

Yes yes, and it was around then I think my mom abdicated responsibility for my laundry

Interesting

Lol

I liked to double up shirts

So I guess I made lots of laundry? Idk

That is not why she abdicated laundry

Hmm

Oh, I know what you're thinking

Oh do you

No

No seriously, why do you think she abdicated your laundry

I always thought it was because I just made piles of it and didn't show any appreciation for her work

Which was absolutely true

And now what do you think

Same

2 words: crispy sheets

Oh now
I knew it!

You did not

Lol

I knew that's what's you were thinking lol

She showed me how to fold shirts and pants lol

Well, my 4yr relationship boyfriend also had 2 brothers. His mom (love her) came up the stairs from the laundry one day exclaimingbjow she had had it with cleaning up protein stains from 3 teenage boys who were all in relationships lol

She was in a good mood about it, very jocular

She was also a nurse

So, like, she knew

Hahaha

Yes she did

When he and i started dating, they were 18, 16, and 16, so.... very much a teenage boy house

And they only had teenage boy friends

Yipe

Right?

He and his friends used to show up at our house and ask if they could play airsoft (bigger property, lotsa trees, not really neighbors)

He and i were kinda perfect tbh

Even our teachers agreed

Aww

Generally all very good memories with him

We're you same age?

His birthday is 5/13/85, mine is 5/25/86

Huh

What?

We started dating at the very end of my junior year, which was the very end of his senior year

Idk, I just find it interesting the closeness (birthday wise) and that you remember it. Or maybe there is a causal link there...

I remember birthdays well

Also.... 4 years

True

You don't know suann's?

July 14 maybe?

Bastille day

I'm not certain

Oh lol
It's not Bastille day

But near it

It is odder to me that you dont remember hers

I met my fling Laura on Suanne's birthday

I remember that

Yeah I'm not great with birthdays

Fling...? Brighton girl?

What year did you graduate?

Yep that's the one

87

Ok thanks

Was the ons the mouth who didnt engage you?

Hmm. The mouth who didn't engage me

They ons desperately wanted me to stabilize her situation so she could cut off her ex

Now who was the mouth...

None of that told me

Has she been in a bed I've been in?

The ons? No

No, the mouth

I'm lost

Youve had 4 sexual partners of which i am aware. I'm curious who never went down on you

Ohhh

Sorry, I'm nosy and have an insane need to be your best everything in bed, and i have a one track gutter mind

Obv never have to twll me anything

Lol no prob

The ons never did. It was literally one night of sexual relations

Suann rarely, and I mean rarely did. Like maybe 5 times in 3 years

So... how did that work?

I'm just kind of dumb here

It was all pretty unimaginative, frankly

Your first time, you finished?

Yes

You weren't concerned with that at all?

Tbh for quite some time, I was too quick

Understandable

I know you didnt use protection, did you just kinda not care?

That's valid, btw

She was on the pill. She literally discussed this with her mother in the kitchen while I was standing there one day

How did the conversation go?

Actually her mom asked her if she needed it

She was very up front

How long were you dating before you had sex?

I'm not exactly sure but I don't think it was more than a couple months

And then her mom had a place on Mesick she would go to every weekend, which was awesome because then I could stay at her house. Every weekend

No dad?

Divorced

Where does suann live now? Do you even know?

Last I knew it was between Saginaw and Caesar Chavez near Pennsylvania

But that was quite a while ago

So the answer is "local" lol

Right

Um, so, yknow how i can just kind of find things in the interweb with some motivation and quick thumbs?

Lol really?

What did you find?

I'm just saying that hypothetically i win the pretty contest

😊

At least as of today

Oh no what did you find?

Side by side, i think i win

Lolol

And dayyyyyyum the political fiercetude on her!

I'm cracking up

She better qatch her mouth on zuckerspace

You say the word and I'll send you a pic

Oh is she public now?

Enough

Hold on one sec

So when my 25 HS reunion happened, I chatted with her husband, whom I've known since second grade. I must have said something to him that was only known on FB because shortly after her profile was unreachable lol

And his ass will

As well
Oops

Lollololol

Ah mate

They just blocked you

She HATED me for breaking up

You broke up with her??

I thought it was mutual, but whatever

That is NOT the story you told me

Annnnnyway

Well how is she doing?

I'm prettier

Use less f bombs

And have better oral skills

Oh she be angry

And how is my buddy TR

And daughter ... I forgot her name

Yeah. Angry doesn't surprise me

Both her and her mom would have tirades about the ex hub/daddy

Right

TR is.... spouse?

He married Suann

Yep

Right. Idk, havent seen him yet

Which is... Odd
Unless maybe...

That is not her fb last name

Nah they're still married

As of nye at least

See he was in a different circle of friends, but we connected regularly

Id fuck you a zillion times before him

Lololol

Is he british?

Looks like a british snotbag

Poor bastard
He looks it doesn't he?
No not British afaik

Omg

null

You have to click it

It's a comment on a photo of hers

A comment she made

Huh. I'm not sure I get it

Oh
About him?

He was doing some kind of data work for the state

What do you do for work, hmmm?

A little soup making

Also, I'm fairly certain a son and a daughter

And her father died sometime later last year

She did not seem sad. I know how she feels with the post she made

Helping others say goodbye to her father

I know the viscera that contains, so it's easily interpreted different ways

Anyway

Did she have glasses in hs?

Yes

She was in the British isles last fall

Her spouse's real name is Theodore?

Yes
Theodore Wentworth

Theodore Robert Wentworth

*junior

I cant figure out if Mao is middle.or.maiden

Maiden

2.9 miles, basically a straight shot

From you to them

Or 65 minutes walking

That's less run time than the jungle book

Like, less than half of one of your typical afg meetings

Jesus

I am a serious fucking creeper

What's the street?

Carey

It's where theyve lived aince 2003

I would guess

Do you know the music of Andrew Bird and Nickel Creek?

I do not

You share taste in sock sayings, you and she do

And socks in general

Your wedding bands are similar

Hahahaha!

And i honest to jhfc think stepkid and herspawn look similar. Or could if you have no corrective lenses

I might have evidence in my phone of all this

But who knows

If i have intrusive thoughts, how would you quell them?

I used the pronouns i wanted in that phrasing

Off topic note that i have an original The Deans pic in my phone now as well

Nice!

Oh. TR was YOUR grad class

FYI spouse has come upstairs and it's difficult to type long reaponses

Only 75% of that band is still around

Ok

Uh oh

What happened?

Rip david green

Oh
I did not know him well

Morgan is very fb active

Idk much about freddie

Suann has tr saved as "theodore" in her phone

Her daughter thinks his head is super small in the old pics

In case it's unclear, i have and will send you any photos you want

I am not the person who will ever do that without your consent though

Hang on to them plz!
I do want to see but not rn

I think I need to put the phone away before I get busted lol

Ok

Je taime

Bonne nuit

Just remember.... you had to wash that bedding bc of me ;)

Damn right lol
Love you babe
Ty for saving me today!

Always

(Which is also a harry potter reference, look it up)

2025-02-03T05:18:00

Good morning :)

😊

Hey you

How are you, snickerpuff?

I'm good :)

How was last night?

It was fine. I was asleep within minutes of lights out

Do you 2 chat or anything before sleep?

Not at all

Huh

What do you do? Lay down and sleep?

Do her handa ever wander?

Whar are you doinh most of the day?

I know, weird right? She had some kind of food and was snoring by the time she finished it. No handsy stuff at all.

Thanks

And today's tasks?

I have to figure that out yet. I'm pretty disconnected from work lol

You can come to the office

It sucks sometimes but helps focus

Who is this???

Lol

You could craft me that new resume

Hmm, maybe I'll do yhat

You can see my cleaner, more certificated office

I knew something was weird when I got home, before I even opened the front door. See, when they got home Saturday, they didn't unpack the car. There's no room in the driveway for them to park, so they parked on the other side of the street. They were going to move my car out of the driveway Sunday so they could pull in and unpack more easily. Well, when I got home, it was obvious their car had not moved at all. So in fact, no one even noticed my car was gone, let alone that I was gone lol.

So fucking weird

But..... why?

Wyd apres on travaille ajdh?

Btw

null

Hmm
I wonder if that's where David hangs out. It seems familiar

You busy on Thursday, post laboring?

Et toujour mercredi?

My labor is never done lol

Yeah.... I'm kinda needy lol

😋

Hey! I made it almost 4 hours into the work week before i needed drugs!

Imma need a muzzle for next office guy today plz

Do you have capacity to do anything at all this Wednesday? I even mean come over and have lunch or something

Ooh is Don being loud?

Effffff yes

I could maybe come over Wednesday as if I were going to the office. I do have to work all day through

Idk what that means for you

Nothing major, just being in meetings

How many screens do you need? What kind of surface or background space? Hours of operation?

I want all the screens
The best surfaces
Hourly massages
Phone-a-friend online at all times
Cocktails
Cockteases
Cock-a-leekie soup sans cock

I'm kidding

I will need your Wi-Fi password and an electrical outlet

I xan only accomodate the first text requests

Extra leaky soup too

But iiiiiiiiiii get the massages

Fine. Extra leaky soup for you. And crispy sheets

I feel like it's time for me to find an apartment

Before "the boys" moved out years ago, I was seriously looking.

Mmhmmm

A pied a terre

I'll decorate it for you!

That would be awesome

Good
Lingerie all over

Youll love the lace curtains

My salt noodles are flavorless today :(

Cruuuuuuummmbbbs i am sleepy

Aww :(

Sucky salt noodles are no fun

And my tiny baby trex arms no longer work

'rawr.'

mewww

Oh, you really are unwell

😞

How does Thursday look for you?

I give it binoculars

NVM my stupid joke plz

Thursday ... In what sense?

Lol just trying something out

It's an interrobang!!!

That's its actual name

Wyd Thursday starting at like 0800 until like 12 hours later

You get no oculars

Monocled, binary, microscoping, telescoping, or otherwise

I'm very very mean lil

Okayokayokay

What's new?

null

Spectacular!

Thursday I mean it's the usual dragon drop. Seems to me I could live my life a lot better than I think I am I guess that's why they call me the workin man.

2025-02-03T14:54:53

Dragon drop?

Get me a dragon!

Annnnnyway

Lol

We're you thinking of day off Thursday?

I still have to work, but there's a lot less going on for me on my calendar

I have to work but thought you might like to share the day working chez moi. And maybe adventure after work

Weekend plans?

Sure!

Weekend schmeekend

I do not plan lol

Not much anyway

I would like to go to Preuss but not on a weekend

Right right

Can you pick a weekend in the next 6 to 8 weeks to go somewhere?

No, I cant

Not until I know how I'm going to deal with blowback

And it looks like I'm going to have to make my displeasure known around here. The dudes disappeared for a couple hours and came back with groceries, which tells me they're planning to hang out.

Oh :(

I'm really sorry

If there's anything i can do, please let me know

null

Coffee catses?

Ya

Bets on whether "but it's cold up north!" Comes up as an excuse?

What's the actual municipality of their residence?

Clare? Cadillac? Evart? Hersey?

I think they're between Evart and Avondale, but I'm not certain. They're not in a town proper.

null

null

Lol right

Click for city

I just can't wait to mention that *I* did not make the decision for them to live there.

Top lansing, bottom evart

How did they decide theeeeeere anyway?

Was not job or school or partner, correct?

Nitya has this idea that he can live off the land

That's not a thing

Tell him plz

I will

I got zero fucks for his feelings

And maybe too many fucks about you beung happiet

*happier

He's been running away from civilization in the same way that Libertarians think they do

I.e., not at all

He sucks from the government tit and calls himself independent

He's an idiot

Yes

Usually well-intentioned, but an idiot nonetheless

He is older or younger?

He's your age

Sorry no

I am 38

Ish

L9l

He's 40-...

42?

So he is the older of the 2

Yes

What's his government name?

Trevellian nityananda taber

I dont have enough thumb strength l9l

Lol!

Is he a nyd baby?

He is 1240 days older than i am

You misspelled his name

Harrietta michigan?

Just has a po box

His online presence is literally frightening like if tim mcveigh or ted kacynzki were his bffs

That would be him
He doesn't live in Marietta any more. That's where his RL dad has his tiny house parked for a few years. He lost the lease and had to move

BD is 12/28

Thanks

Nitya is 42

The other one, narayan, is he june or october?

March

Hmmmm

He is older than spouse lol

That might be a record tainted by his not-dad. Not-dad has used both of them as identity bitches

Well i know it's 1988

His youtube name involves 6188

His voter reg date is 10.9.88

28 March 1988

Older than spouse

Oh your spouse

Yeah....

The not-dad is older than my spouse lol

Silly boy

John?

Yeah that's one of his names

That guy is barely older than rlh

64 vs 63

Yeah

616 855 2482 ?

Rlh lived in CA at some point before 1993?

That's is the VOIP phone in my house that I've been trying to convince somebody is long past time to cancel

Yes to CA

Voip?

Watch this:

909 374 6727

Or maybe change that first area code bit from Hemet to Lansing

Or maybe

517 332 8103

Yes to all!

517 694 5825, even

Creeper lol

Fine

Meet you at daisy lane

Lol

that was the landlord who looked like Rasputin, and he ran a daycare out of the bottom level, underneath our part of the house

Is she of hispanic descent?

It was wiwrd

No Hispanic

Native Am

Right right

Not how i picture Jimenez but whatever

It's just Jo? Couldn't keep the An?

Austrian

Joe is a family thing. Hers was altered bc girl

Right

So not after Charissa Joan?

Uh, no

Damn

Lol

So not Austrian

That's never come up. Not in the genetic testing either

Huh

So riedel is not of relation

Never heard of it

I have something hilaaaaaaarious at home that you may have for her if you wish

Send me a pic!

I will when i get there!

Hey, know what?

?

Straight up middle of my commissiony day i had a completely clear mental image of you over top of me, cock out, ready to slip and slide like you did in the best sex of my life a little way back

Maybe you forgot

Oh my sweet violet, I have not forgotten

Deflowering again, are we?

May i please have more?

Please tell me more of this mental image!

It was a very literal recollection

Me on my bavk in your bed, wanting you and pleading with my eyes staring into yours for everything you had to give me

And you gazing back down at me while you work in some oil for yourself and for me so you'd glide right in and you got harder as you went deeper and i just relaaaaaxed with the unbelievable connection you'd just engaged is in

And you passively swept your hair from where it grazed all around the halo of your shoulders to being in one bundle on your left

And i finally had love made to me and you made me all yours

And i would have been completely content to just cease existing at that moment because it was nirvana and i didnt think i would ever be led there

Ohhhh babe
That is so beautiful

I'm so glad you felt it this way. I could not ask for a better match with my desire

One sec
Fam is prowling

I procured you an ornament. It is funny and beautiful and delicate and and delicious ans sophisticated. It's a lot like you. May i gift it to my favorite you?

Yes you may :)

How are you?

Superfab

You?

Mnnhnnmnnnhmmhhhnn

How is my 3328103 doing?

That was out number in EL, prob Daisy Lane

Ohhhh

Aka Rasputin was here

He committed suicide a few years after we moved iut

I don't fuck around with anything rasputin

I. Hurt.

Just as well

Oww.

I am sorry

I know

How do you remember it?

Are we still on sex?

If that's okay

Oh yeah. I mean I can always change my panties

I really did want to massage you because it get such a kick out of transitioning from massage to sex.

Can you explain more?

In your view, did you massage? Did we transition?

Oh for sure
I totally started with a legit (if not trained) massage

I like seeing your body, and not just your girly bits. I like the other stuff too, and it all needs to be taken care of.

Do you have parts of me you like to touch best?

Well
Last time had a lot more going on so I'm not sure what's best because it's all so good

Why do you say there was a lot more going on?

There was a lot of intentional touching that has not happened before, vis: massage

Can you be blunter? I'm legit having a hard time understanding

I think because I've been in a good mindset for you to touch every part of me so far, so it's like I've been to this new intentional touch place already by preparing for and imagining it for so long

Me massaging you equals me touching you in new ways. I like touching you in new ways

I do too

It is very odd how much i want you to have all of me

It seems I have a spell!

Like.... you DESERVE all of it

Oh even better

I control your very destiny
No pressure

Haha I love that you feel this way

It's not like other relationships amiright

Right

Hmm

I wanttttttt you to do everything taboo

I love that too

You are such a hottie

Fuuck

So there I was

Trying to massage your front side

And I'll be honest

I was so horny when I got to your tits/boobs (do you have a preference?) that I just had to get inside you

They are illegally cute

I know you don't understand

Deal with it lol

To me, that seems like a mean thing to say but i know it isn't

I don't mean it to be mean. I'm saying you can't change my mind

I know

I was more thinking of them being "cute" is mean-ish to me

Oh!

Wait a sec

Plz

Ok
Plz help me understand why "cute" feels mean-ish

Legit question

I've been here before but never understood

It is very much a me thing, and has been explained to me in as much as the same words I'll explain to you with

Cute is for anyone and is acceptable anywhere. Grandparents can think you're cute but so can the guy who thinks you're innocent and maybe fuckable but also too much on the chunby-wholesome side for any actual sexual desires or fun fantasies

It's kind of the difference between Saturday night debauchery and sunday morning church school. Both can be appealing and they both have their places, but you can't be both at the same time and cant have 2 kinds of fun at once

To me, cute is who you want to tuck into bed vs something else (sexy, or whatever) is who you want to take into bed

Thank you as always for the detailed explanation!

And I am sorry Fr because I don't mean it cheaply. Yet, you are the second person I know that feels it means less than you are the one I want you are the biggest part of me I care about what you experience and want only the best for you

Sorry if I go on! I do get that we are not on the same channel with regards to that word, and I don't need to be right about this anyway

So please accept my apologies big smooches

No hard feelings here

Uh if you can avoid the pun

I'm okay with you calling anything of mike "cute" :)

*mine

But you said it was mean

I will try to find better language

So your front side
With the massage
Beautiful, and so sensual in my hands and in my fingers

The perfect squish

And you

You
You
You
Are soooo delictable I could not finish the massage

2025-02-03T22:18:19

Mmmmm

You are too much

I took a pre sleep nap. I am sorry.

I think that if there's a way for you to really subtly ease me into knowing you're about to penetrate, you should do that while I'm prome and you're massaging me

Like... your hands have had their fill and you're hard and we're wer and you kiss my neck and softly, lowly ask me if I'm ready or you tell me nicely that you need me so i can arch my tail up a bit for you to hav3 and then you go in

So, so hot

2025-02-04T06:13:22

Ohhh my that is sooo hot

I hope you slept well with those thoughts on your mind :)

null

Little sleepy still
Obv

Hey hot stuff!

Not so much

Maybe we just Old Yeller me now and get it done with

Btw

null

null

Ayyy lol

Told you - same taste in socks

It's not me though

I figured it isn't you
How are you this morning?

Fuccccckkkking not great

:(

For real

How are you? What are you up to?

Just sitting in a quiet place playing my word games

For real?

Can i help?

I need 800000 pounds of massage pressure and a few grams of morphine please

Fuckkkkkk next door guy is so loud i can't think

And i am sealed in this office

"I know she's my daughter but I'm harder on her than anyone else. She gets straight A's but i feel like she could somehow do better"

Eewewww

Wow

Toxic dadding

Word game sparked this deep thought today

You can inflate something
You can deflate something

Why can you not flate something?

Like being over or under whelmed

"Evidently so! (Edit: And not just in Europe.)

The contemporary word "overwhelm" comes from the Old English -hwielfan, meaning "cover over," which then became the Middle English whelmen, meaning "cover" or "to turn upside down."

When it first arose in the 14th century, "overwhelm" also meant "to turn upside down," but could also mean "to overthrow," and (later) "to submerge completely." Both "whelm" and "overwhelm" were most often used in the context of ships being overpowered or submerged by rough seas until "whelm" eventually faded from common use.

So, in sum, "overwhelm" is a somewhat redundant way of saying "whelm.""

Thanks, reddit

https://www.quora.com/Why-can-we-only-be-overwhelmed-not-underwhelmed-or-just-whelmed#:~:text=You%20can%20be%20whelmed%2C%20although,will%20whelm%20the%20ship%27s%20deck.

And quora

Jesus i am in a not good mood that i dont want

What is the matter?

Not sure of all of it. Pain is a significant one today. I dont want to be in a bad mood, which is odd because usually if I'm in a bad mood idgaf about much

Overwhelemed with too many tasks too, speaking of whelmingness

State of the world is contributing even though that sounds stupid

Understandable for sure
I'm sorry babe

Me too

I just want it fixed, even if temporary. I hate feeling mean

Took a handful of meds. Maybe that will help :)

You meeting all day?

What is the objective of all these meetings? It doesn't seem like there's time to accomplish anything

Off and on all day. I'm involved in a lot of projects. I don't have production work.

I would much rather do that

Me too. I dislike production work

Right.

Esp when I'm smarter than this.

Sorry, not sorry.

You're not wrong!

How's the household?

Smelly. Dirty dishes. Cats are revolting

Which sense?

Revolting revolution

Revolting disgusting

Actually they're napping now. I just like to say that lol

Yeah but it's always true

Grand Haven

?

That's where we go

Oh, right

The Toasted Pickle Grand Haven
(616) 414-7990

https://g.co/kgs/QdpR8td

Dayum

Salt noodles delights

Mmhmm

Are you planning to go to NJ or NY or something?

I kind of have permanent wanderlust

And I'm flighty

And can probably return rhe cans in my garage for $80 lol

But seems fun

Come with me

Ok

Are you ok?

Having a hard time waking up

Can i help?

Maybe?

I'm getting there. Coffee #2 is now prepared

Okay

How do i help?

Lol IDK

The spouse got up early for some reason.

Oh

I reckon it's either a doc appt or date with Toni

I see

I got your stuff out of the trunk. That plastic bin has the iridescent glass thingy in it!

With no protection

Yes

That silly girl wrapped the milk bottle like it was Fabergé

Lol

I have that milk bottle

Right

You can put milk in it if you like

Lol

You won't like mine

Milk?

Hmm

Bitter and black is it

Yep. That's me inside. And twisty

I've been thinking
I look rather like a newt lately

Oh?

And I'm eating bugs

Nope

I tried climbing up the wall

Didn't work well

Bummer

Is your afg schedule available for me?

Uh

Calendar?

Yeah

I mean it's public for viewing ?

Mmmmk

Always has been

Youre free for at least 61 more minutes

Come work in my office

I still have a carafe

Pleeeeeeease

Soliciting a younger member or the opposite gender for roblox games?

Creepervert. Lol.

Lol

Im lonely and cuddly and wanna take advantage of amphibious older gentlemen

Ill take care of the licking

Just don't break my tail plz

We'll see

It took me forever to grow this one

So am I coming over tomorrow or Thursday?

And how is it you have extended hours one of those days? Ime that means one of two things

Date night

Or SIL

Well, what's a DG Collab?

Thursday, what if you come over and do whatever it is you need to do and sometime after you & lang discuss critical data elements i will feed you. I'll be "working"ost likely but whatever

Then we just go about our afternoon as coworkers do or whatever ;)

Depending on what else is happening, either you make your way home after quitting time or i take you to Megamall for real

Eyy?

Love it!

DG Collab is what happens when a buzzword-susceptible and meeting happy supervisor sets up meetings

D=?
G=?

Data Governance

So we can make out on Thursday? I kinda need that

Emmhmm

You sure?

Omg

null

That's exactly what a closet swinger would say!

Also
Those don't look like pineapples to me

Psshhhtttt

I like to fuck

What can i say

Swings or not

Gof a meeting, you do too

Think dirty thoughts!

Implement on Thursday!

Def
Roadmap to a good time!

Thursday goals!

What if there's a different bed this time?

Bed or no bed!

Yeah? Where else did you want me?

I'll take you anywhere :)

Psht

In your mind, rigjt now, how and where are you fucking me Thursday?

Under your desk! In a chair!

If you'd like

Holy fuck is this ms migration a ton of work and nonsense

Why don't we just give up and delete everything now??

Imma go ahead and hop of the 10th floor now

Um, we don't have a 10th floor!

Oh i know

That's the point

There's a 10th floor, just no ceiling

Here's a better idea
Take your laptop up there and send it sailing!

Maybe

Decided to finally take my allotted 15 minute lunch break

Can you please listen to Andy voicemails and call him for me and whatever? And help clean my house? And take me all the places? And give me more feels?

Voicemails you say?

Mmhmm

2025-02-04T16:10:01

😐

What's happening

I dont have enough mental fortitude for words

How are you? What's happening there?

The "boys" left a couple hours ago

Oh i see

And their groceries?

How was their state of sobriety?

Some of the groceries made dinner last night, the rest left with them. Sober.

How are you?

Please be brutally honest

Every facet of your life and state of being

Good thing I'm one dimensional!

I'm stable, neither depressed nor exhilarated

I'm wishing I knew how to express my general displeasure with my living situation and marriage, about which you are familiar

Like goes on

Oh, and I'm looking forward to Thursday

How to express it... like, to the offending parties?

Right, exactly

Oh, i get it

Do you remember me telling you that the brain retains memories of times, seasons, senses, etc even when you dont conciously remember dates or instances that would upset your psyche?

(Sorry, this is a new-ish topic, but relevant to my rapid crushing deflation and earlier foul attitude & mood)

Yes I do remember

That fuckwit astrophysicist hasnt acknowledged my existence since 2/3/24

Today is 2/4/25

I literally feel like I'm being crushed from that rigjt at this moment

Hmm

I have such fierce feelings after him (toward, maybe? About? These are not good feelings btw)

And I'm so angry and upset still

But also the amount of hurt and abandon pulls the breath out of my lungs and i would rather collapse from the impact of this void of resolve than keep going to try and get any kind of real closure. There is none. And i am such a weak, wussy loser for it. And for letting him do and take and be and for telling myself all of the truths and the lies i did over that time. They amounted to the same deprecations but i was just so stupid and self loathing and intent on my own destruction or something

Sorry

Anyway

Well I hope you are able to cut him loose someday

I would love to just forget his existence and leaching. Just tell me how

I'm fine with a lobotomy. Legit, go ahead and do it and make memories just go away

Please

I dont understand how someone xan do all of those things. Just so much using.

People suck :(

I mean a lot of them do

I think at some point I realized I could no longer empathize with them, so I just kind of turned cold and cruel to their kind. But they are not us, and I rather like you.

And I want you to have all my empathy. All of it. Because I actually have a lot.

Like you alone have the empathy knob on Andy that goes to 11. Nobody else does. Well maybe my sister or my parents.

2025-02-04T19:26:56

Heyyy

Kissy kissy

💏

How are you?

Pretty good :)
Did you sleep?

Nope

Just got home

Ooh crap

What?

Have you been working?

Worked til 6. Then Sam's club with spouse. Now home.

Right right


How are you

I am. You?

I am

Say more

Long ago, I used to see a vehicle in EL. The license plate was I AM

Mmhmm

What has transpired in your evening?

Why do i get such an empathy pass with you?

Pass like all access, not pass like get out of jail free

Doing laundry, vacuumed my space

You're the weiner

Pass like it's yours until I'm out

Which right now prolly means I'm ded

Bc I don't have a 'care less' button

But whyyyyyyyy

I am not special

Kind of the opposite

You're a Weiner I said

Just keep getting shitty hands dealt

You used a different article the first time

Damn good

You are

You're the weiner

Let me be very clear about that

Like pool noodle only waaaay better

Roll with me plz

But you like cats

Not cocks

Do I correctly recall you wish to engage in lascivious events during a work day?

Yes

Lewd ones too

Mm

Was there more?

I reckon there will be

I'm imagining fuck work day

Or work fuck day

Or fuck people first

Or something

Mmhmmm yes

It's quite a good idea

I got a little realistically and justifiably unhinged a few times today. At the work.

It can happen. I have been there

Don't sweat it

I'm making these "not my hob to worry about or fix" issues very very well known

Is it so?

But what am i supposed to do forever? And in the interim?

Is what so?

C'mon now

What are you planning?
I'm not doubting you, I just want to understand what you mean by "make...issues known"

Hey I need your help with two things when you have a moment.

Shoot



No. 1. actually I can't remember it lol

No. 2. We need to be way careful with laundry scents. I'm fine, but they are very noticeable in this house. Our laundry is 100% scent-free.

Okay, understood

How can i help avoid any of it?

Idk if you use perfumed detergent or dryer treatment but my guess is one or both is like super strong in here

Right....

How do i keep doing my laundry?

Babe

I'm saying that there is a high risk of spousal detection

At my end

Because of the scent from your end

Yes

Idk how you make it

That's all I know

Okay. I get that.

Im saying i dont know how laundry will get done since there is a spouse at my end who likes and expects laundry done a certain way

This is not a decision for me to make babe

Ok

Im not trying to cause a hard time for you. But there will be difficult things for me if I keep accepting perfumed laundry. Are we on the same page?

No but i am working on getting to that place

Ok talk to me plz

I am irrational rn

Alright

Not in an angry way, and not at you

Ty

Yep

We can change subject or whatever as well

I'm not trying to berate you babe

It's a caution

I know. I can tell you what my brain is telling me if that would help

As you wish! If you're comfortable

That I'm stupid and full of mistakes and issues that will never stop and i cant just be normal and everything is "extra" and I'm tired of the only differences i make for anyone being negative ones and there's no point in being smart because I'll never get ahead anyway

And then i was trying to think of how to eash everything in my house so it doesnt smell like me or like here anymore and that is impossible and i cant ever go to your house again but you cant leav3 here again because of the scents and so everything sicks and i hate everyone and the whole world ia a disaster and i hate it all and there's no escape and no feeling better. Ever.

Whew

That's a lotta spin

This is largely how i feel most of the time. And has been ramping up for days. And gets worse during my work hours.

I'm sorry

Why sorry?

I didn't mean to make you feel bad

No, you're fine

I am crazy and i dont know what I'm supposed to do about anything. Including you ever seeing me.

Whatever are you talking about

Do we not have a date this week

Still?

Hello

What's up?

Do we have a date this week?

I replied

I didnt think you would be able to because of the way my house is scented

That is not at all what I said

Why would you say such a thing?

Your reply was "still?" Which makes no sense to me I never broke off the date

Did you?

I didn't

I just dont want you to be in trouble

But i will never give you scented laundry again, i knew at least that much

Ok

That is the only thing I need you to keep in mind

Ty

Oh

That is absolutely something i will do/not do. That would have been much clearer in blunter terms but i am not blaming you for my misunderstanding

???

Is this unclear

Plz

I really dislike being in this position

Right

To me, that meant that that's all you can ever smell on me, after me, after my house, it lingered in your room and your car and it does on you when we depart. That it's everywhere all the time where ever i have been and since you'll be here this week and maybe in some sheets, those sheets also cannot have been laundered in the scented things

Saying "if you give me laundered things again, please have them be scent free" would have been less for me to internalize

Again, this is my issue and how i heard it, not you or how you said it

???

I'm not trying to be a dick here but I specifically said

laundry

Yes

I didnt launder either thing i gave you recently

And everything in my house is laundered about the same

So there was not a difference for me in treatment of the hoodies, my sheets, or what i wear

???

And i did not know to what item or scent incident you were referring to

That's when it occurred to me that we were on different wavelengths

Alright

The good news is it comes out after a few washes

By it

I mean wearable items I have accepted from you

And the scent therein

So all is well, understand we r c is ntreol

Okay, thank you

I need you to understand the risk

I'm not asking you to change your house

It's how you do any things

Crap

NVM

I am misreading 2 things

This will be more appropriate to discuss in person

Okay i am sorry

I am sorry for going on about it

It's okay

It's just me being in a not very good place for now and im sorry

Alright

Please be less mad

I am

I wasnt mad at you, if that helps at all

I was mad at me for being stupid. And sad because i thought you were trying to cut me off or idk what

And I'm sorry

Ok

What else do you want to say?

I'm hurt

I don't get to say that

But I am

I am so sorry

I am gently and caringly asking why?

Because i am not understanding something that happened

1
I don't feel heard

2
I have lost confidence that I actually know how to communicate effectively

3
I feel helpless that I can't help you when you're off, or down, or out of sorts, or unwell, or mean

1
I am sorry i didnt hear you for what you were saying. I wish i could be better at this. It's entirely me though and i am sorry.

2.
Has anyone but me made you lose that confidence? Is there a way to help you get it back?

I think you and i communicate better than almost anyone I've ever been around. I wish i could tell or show you that somehow

3.
I dont know how to respond to that. I have thoughts: you have helped in very literal ways, i cant be helped like i would like, and i feel increasingly selfish for you feeling the way you do on this issue. We can work out more of this if you'd like.

What now?

Also for part 3, i wanted to ask but swore i wouldn't so i just kept it internal

You wanted to ask what?

For you to help me

3
Is the only one of these items that is going to linger with me

The others will be forgiven and forgotten

If I can't do anything useful , I will pull away to avoid causing harm

How would you cause harm?

What would be something useful, in your opinion? Like, could you provide an example of a useful thing you could have done today?

Ok you're not going to like this

Okay

Provide risk management information to you, to help us mitigate the risk of spouse detection.

Look what happened

No bueno

I didn't need to say anything, but I thought it would be easier if I did

That was good

I hate that I brought it up

It wasn't good

You

It needed to be done

Assumed I meant no contact

Not good

I assumed i fucked up another thing. That's how i felt about everything today

But I'm not here to do that

To do what?

Tell you you fucked up anything

Ann I like everything else!

And I can't type

Am I the same?

How do you mean?

I'm just one more person telling you

You fucked up

Is it?

No you did not

You requested assistance in being sure "we" comtinue

I hate(d) myself and the nicest thing i could think to say in that moment was that i fucked up so i need to make a lot of changes and that i need to be either less crazy or finally jump over the edge to real life crazy

You realize of course

I'm going to lick your face off

You can have anesthetic

Fine and ok. We will circle back to this I'm sure, but for now I suggest kiss and make up. No worries , this is all part of the learning process.

I really do care about you, and don't ever wish to add to your burden. I will make it as light as can, if I should have to add something

I love you!

I hope you have a good sleep

And enjoy your day away from the work!

Ttys

Thank you

You too

I don't know how to say this the nice and non burdening way i want. I make better choices for and because of you

2025-02-05T02:56:16

It's really late and i just wanted to say again how sorry i am and that i love you so much

I dont really know how to surrender but this is cl9se to me waving a white flag to you